Question: in the example that you just gave, aren't you just giving implicit agreement of someone's idea when you don't infact agree with it? It's great to make people feel validated but it shouldn't come at the expense of going along with whatever they're saying.
Thanks for the question. I'll give you 2 examples of replies in the context of how to substitute 'but' with 'and' in the context of collaborating with someone that's disagreeable and has equal or more power - without having to agree. USING BUT "We could re-hire contractor X because they're familiar with our site protocols BUT they're expensive and a little slow. I think we can find better deals." USING AND "We could look at rehiring contractor X since they're already familiar with our work-site, AND just to make sure we're getting good value with timely delivery, let's get a couple of other quotes from reputable contractors who are also familiar with our type of worksites." Hope this helps!
I prefer to use less words and be straight to the point. People need be less sensitive I will say it in a polite and soft voice tho. - Khaled alharbi 25 Jeddah, ksa
Yeah is that you tried making everyone feel better all the time? Then it fell apart before your progress was made? Good thing you found this gem of a communicator as she shows a better way. Good luck chum hope you figure out where you went wrong.
If your only aim is to make the person happy by telling them what they want to hear then it's not collaboration and it's disingenuous. Only through the clash of ideas can you have the sparks of truth. Note - not the clash of people. Depersonalize the ideas. In a situation when you need the person to collaborate - leading them to open their mind to new possibilities (not necessarily agreeing) instead of dismissing their perspective can be more influential. You can (and should) absolutely be honest and clear.
These very very small details are everything. The world would be a better place if people placed importance on choosing how to think and communicate for the betterment of others and themselves
You are wrong. When someone say something how can you instantly conclude about its true impact? A professional would try gather more facts about an argument before taking a decision. Decision is expensive, you can't deliver it like an instant coffee. Therefore encourage and applaud every bit of info when you hear it first. Think
@@gurindersingh8109 what if that opinion has already been tried just like the answer she gave herself in the video suggesting that it didn't work ....I agree with the "thinking" and making a decision part. But you need not think if the idea is repeated for a similar situation in the past where it didn't work.
@@utkarshaggarwal1631 yeah that's true but here she is more tallking about conversation skills that we are used a lot without any conscious thinking. You know like after every yes and but people don't like to hear rest of the things
I discovered that i do this unintentionally since last year since i started thinking positively about stuff and it really does work magic in perspective not just for people who are around u but for u as well
All this stuff sounds great until you actually get into a workplace and realize that everyone is an idiot, and you decide its easier just to join them.
I am excessively impressed by your delivery, the way you talk and all your mannerism is something that I admire a lot. Including all the little things you do, like you have a content smile while you talk, and all the hand gestures. Your face radiates positivity and your enthusiasm. That is something I'll like to add in my personality. And, your immense knowledge about the topic, its like icing on the cake.
Well explained! This simple change can completely change the tonality of the sentence! By being more solution oriented, the conversation will be more inclusive and engaging!
I mean it’s a fundamental improv technique. It could work in many scenarios as long as ‘the reasons it didn’t work last time’ are discussed and something changes (testing a new variable).
I clicked her video once, now I'm seeing suggestions from her all the time "and" I'm not regretting that. Such a nice change after all those almost naked girls from tick tock. Prove that besides having a good look you can also share something useful with people to be noticed 😘
I think you missed the intent of the tik tok. The point is to enlist engagement and collaboration not to shred and dehumanize people from participating in a team effort. I hope you can think about this for a while and discover the greater benefit to you of winning people over.
metal rage - Then, maybe it could go like this: "And if we can fit that in, with some extra planning, and other ideas are not working, we probably could give it some serious thought!" 🤔😳
Now when you hear someone as this young lady did use the word “invalidated” then you know you’re engaging with a person thats worth talking to and very interesting. I loved hearing her advices, very intriguing 🤔
It just changes the whole response. So instead of saying “your idea is stupid” now I’m saying “we should proceed with your stupid idea”.some ideas are meant to be invalidated.
This is an excellent example of improving communication skills and, most importantly, how properly recorded sound can make a short video exciting. Good job!
Yes your advice is so true and on point. Some times I fel it only me learning all the nice things from you, and others continue to invalidate me. Thank you Shade for your help thanks you again.👍👍🙏❤️
Thank you for sharing such useful content. You add so much value & make it look so easy at the same time. We need more Women Leaders Like Yourself. Such A Role Model. 👏👏👏
Question: in the example that you just gave, aren't you just giving implicit agreement of someone's idea when you don't infact agree with it? It's great to make people feel validated but it shouldn't come at the expense of going along with whatever they're saying.
Thanks for the question. I'll give you 2 examples of replies in the context of how to substitute 'but' with 'and' in the context of collaborating with someone that's disagreeable and has equal or more power - without having to agree.
USING BUT
"We could re-hire contractor X because they're familiar with our site protocols BUT they're expensive and a little slow. I think we can find better deals."
USING AND
"We could look at rehiring contractor X since they're already familiar with our work-site, AND just to make sure we're getting good value with timely delivery, let's get a couple of other quotes from reputable contractors who are also familiar with our type of worksites."
Hope this helps!
How are you so amazing! Where were you in my 20s?!! Better late than never!
@@ShadeZahrai I learn this in Never split the difference :-) And I use it ever since.
👁️
I prefer to use less words and be straight to the point. People need be less sensitive
I will say it in a polite and soft voice tho.
-
Khaled alharbi
25
Jeddah, ksa
Her voice is so perfect.
Bro this is made by ai
Yeah "voice"
@@fixinfkinsandwiches6183 bonk
@@eng-ishow really?
@@benli3278 yup,.luk at her other vdeos
You are so articulate. I am hooked on hearing you talk
Honesty and clarity of communication is much more important than making someone feel good all the time
Yeah is that you tried making everyone feel better all the time? Then it fell apart before your progress was made? Good thing you found this gem of a communicator as she shows a better way. Good luck chum hope you figure out where you went wrong.
indeed
Agreed. Especially using such long sentences that unveil how hard you are trying and make you look fake in the end
"Yes, if ..." would be a better answer. You don't create an obstacle with a "but", you just set a criteria for the idea to be accepted.
If your only aim is to make the person happy by telling them what they want to hear then it's not collaboration and it's disingenuous.
Only through the clash of ideas can you have the sparks of truth. Note - not the clash of people. Depersonalize the ideas.
In a situation when you need the person to collaborate - leading them to open their mind to new possibilities (not necessarily agreeing) instead of dismissing their perspective can be more influential. You can (and should) absolutely be honest and clear.
These very very small details are everything. The world would be a better place if people placed importance on choosing how to think and communicate for the betterment of others and themselves
This lady is exceptional in communication skills. Love her channel!!
We need more people like you on this planet earth...
with good fronts?
@@fabricciodominic7473 😂
You completely changed the answer from not accepting their suggestion to accepting it. It's better to be assertive than just agreeing with everything
You are wrong. When someone say something how can you instantly conclude about its true impact? A professional would try gather more facts about an argument before taking a decision. Decision is expensive, you can't deliver it like an instant coffee. Therefore encourage and applaud every bit of info when you hear it first. Think
@@gurindersingh8109 what if that opinion has already been tried just like the answer she gave herself in the video suggesting that it didn't work ....I agree with the "thinking" and making a decision part. But you need not think if the idea is repeated for a similar situation in the past where it didn't work.
@@utkarshaggarwal1631 yeah that's true but here she is more tallking about conversation skills that we are used a lot without any conscious thinking. You know like after every yes and but people don't like to hear rest of the things
Just say yes instead of no ,super simple. Everyone will like you.
In my age and not shy from learning the wisdom of this young lady, great job and keep it up
its up alright
I feel the vibe from the book: Win friends and Influence People
@@sonalshukla9447 Ty for give Dale his credit 👏
Nice! Dale Carnegie taught me this as well
This lady is brilliant. Thanks much for words of wisdom. Best wishes.
I discovered that i do this unintentionally since last year since i started thinking positively about stuff and it really does work magic in perspective not just for people who are around u but for u as well
Shade I must say you really understand communication so well .. really inspiring ideas & modifications..
haha
Shade, you're the best. Love your input, always.
I find your videos to be very thorough and well versed. Your videos blend human pscychology and work place code very well.
Man her articulation and voice are just perfect
loving these shorts🎉🎉🎉
I’m in love with her voice
Loved it! perfect use of words
Your voice is extraordinarily, Seriously 😮
All this stuff sounds great until you actually get into a workplace and realize that everyone is an idiot, and you decide its easier just to join them.
To much truth for one comment.
There is a book on communication which is called 'surrounded by idiots'
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂
Faxx 😂😂😂😂
I am excessively impressed by your delivery, the way you talk and all your mannerism is something that I admire a lot. Including all the little things you do, like you have a content smile while you talk, and all the hand gestures. Your face radiates positivity and your enthusiasm. That is something I'll like to add in my personality. And, your immense knowledge about the topic, its like icing on the cake.
Thank you...just little tips like this can totally change the tone of delivery
that is genius! great. ya got a sub
I love your voice 😍💕
I second that….
Super correct.
Constructive criticism fosters team spirit, collaboration which inturn increase performance and productivity
Where were you 10 years ago... All these teaching are beneficial , God bless you kind heart 💓
Honestly, You just talk with my heart💖
Loved your communication skill✨
I am just watching your videos, just because of your facial expressions 😃
Your body language reflects color, charm, and shine. Beautiful video. Subscribed.
This woman is a champion !
Imagine spending 3 months with her, gaining momentum and developing yourself, to position yourself as new CEO
😂😂😂😂😂
but true
Only your mind will change to be CEO not position actually, but you may become that soon, based on your current position if you continue the mindset.
new ceo in dream world😂😂😂
I'm ready to feel myself as a CEO by spending a night with her
That is very good way to exchange words
Communication is the best way to understand people
Well explained! This simple change can completely change the tonality of the sentence! By being more solution oriented, the conversation will be more inclusive and engaging!
I mean it’s a fundamental improv technique. It could work in many scenarios as long as ‘the reasons it didn’t work last time’ are discussed and something changes (testing a new variable).
Great tip! we all need more straight forward, more positive and less sugar-coating interactions in our lives!
Yes, this is what my friends have to see before talking to me.
Thank you so much for very useful video ❤
You and your voice.......ohhhhh ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much for this insight!
and you can also do that to yourself to learn from mistakes. Genius ! Thank you!
"AND will it work just like last time? AND what have we learned from it?"
Very good skill!
I clicked her video once, now I'm seeing suggestions from her all the time "and" I'm not regretting that. Such a nice change after all those almost naked girls from tick tock. Prove that besides having a good look you can also share something useful with people to be noticed 😘
Wow Shade, keep sharing it..
I will do one better: prove their idea wrong with facts... IN FRONT OF EVERYONE 😂
I like the way you think
There is something called "team work"
I think you missed the intent of the tik tok. The point is to enlist engagement and collaboration not to shred and dehumanize people from participating in a team effort. I hope you can think about this for a while and discover the greater benefit to you of winning people over.
yeah but first try to become an influencer.
😂
❤Nice explanation mam❤
As a manager, I can't use that term cause that would still be acceptance to a rejected idea darling.
metal rage - Then, maybe it could go like this: "And if we can fit that in, with some extra planning, and other ideas are not working, we probably could give it some serious thought!" 🤔😳
it doesnt matter, this is youtube fun
What an amazing piece of advice! Thank you!
As Ned stark once said, " everything before "but" is horse shit."
But to and- negative to positive plus acknowledge their ideas. 👏
That sounds even more passive aggressive lol
Depends on how one say it and yes it would come off that way if one has a mean streak.
Thank you. I like this idea - a subtle approach.
You don't have to please everyone. It will just create more fragile minds.
Wow.
Didn't Understood But Feels Good After Listening This😅
after she completed
me:- Oh..sorry, You're Saying Something
@@abhishek-5221 😆😆🤝
@@Scoobie.. 🤜
Now when you hear someone as this young lady did use the word “invalidated” then you know you’re engaging with a person thats worth talking to and very interesting. I loved hearing her advices, very intriguing 🤔
Definitely learned from this🙏🏾 Thank you Ma'am
It just changes the whole response. So instead of saying “your idea is stupid” now I’m saying “we should proceed with your stupid idea”.some ideas are meant to be invalidated.
Yeah 🤔
Amazing Audio Output!
Dialogues don’t run by memorizing the phrases. Just be what u r.
I saw you and instantly felt connection ❤
Your advice is so awesome and on point.
Ur voice is very nice, so soothing..
That’s great advice! Thank you. ❤
Glad it was helpful!
Yes..communication is key.😊
Right, Thanks Shade
Love your contents ❤ zahrai..
Keep them coming
I read this in one of Tony Robbins's books. Where he was talking about how friction in conversation impacts the emotional state of the other person.
Yes I agree, and make sure you are learning to make good videos that didn't work last time ❣️
Good point, will do that, thank you.
Dale Carnegie's lesson 👍
U R Awesome and M really appreciate ur suggestions
So nice of you. Thank you 😊
This is an excellent example of improving communication skills and, most importantly, how properly recorded sound can make a short video exciting. Good job!
So true it also puts you in team mode as mentioned validate the thought but build on it by substituting and. It's much better.
That's a great suggestion. ❤ Thank you
Your contents are literally transforming people ... Love and respect to you Ma'am from India
You are super simple. I like the way you put it.
I am from India. I have learned alot to this channel.
One of my favorite ideas out there, I learned this from a book I read in college last year called - Yes, And.
This has such a positive effect..!
Thank you so much for this tip
Thank you so much. This is very inspiring 💛🧡💚
❤that's right
Doci Doci❤
Your way of taking is just amazing 😍
Most amazing voice tone I’ve heard!
From negative to positive 💯
For some bizarre reason I like the way she talks not sure why but I can understand her more that other people.
Great tip. I happen to me and many people I know !! Great tip for the communication
Great vid! I use AND all the time! (well, maybe not ALL the time) but I do try! It totally opens up the conversation.
Game changer honestly .
thanks for the life hack
You have excellent communication skills. My wording are terrible and I’ll use your technique
Yes your advice is so true and on point. Some times I fel it only me learning all the nice things from you, and others continue to invalidate me. Thank you Shade for your help thanks you again.👍👍🙏❤️
Great tips. Thanks for sharing
Your conversation shows that your personality is very high.
You are such a nice person.
So working together we all win-win
Subscribed!
Thank you for sharing such useful content. You add so much value & make it look so easy at the same time. We need more Women Leaders Like Yourself. Such A Role Model. 👏👏👏
I believe in straight forward communication
It's going in the right direction
It’s the first video that popped up and I already love ur language. Wise idea 👑💯
I appreciate that