Here's the hard truth for us as Christian women: A man is not a true man of God if he keeps leading you into fornication, is comfortable moving in together minus any marriage, and is clearly a lust-driven being. When we find ourselves with these types, we need to stop, drop, and roll! Stop the toxic relationship, repent and ask Jesus Christ for His strength to break away, and roll right back into Christ's arms. These are the types of men who waste a good woman's time, energy, and resources and give her nothing but heartbreak and destruction. When you see the red flags, run away my dears! Just run away! It is better to be alone and happy, than "coupled up" and dying slowly. God bless. 🙏🏽
There is a difference between men casually looking at a woman in passing and a man who actively goes out and seeks out pictures and videos on social media because he feels like he needs it. That is where it crosses over into addiction. That is what this woman is dealing with. He is 22 he is still immature and doesn't want to settle down yet.
Exactly he doesn't see anything wrong in his behavior so he will keep doing it she needs to let him be for her sanity sake he is still a child to me she keeps forgiving him but it is a very stressful situation that am sorry she needs to leave for the child and herself
Lord yes!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 It does cross into addiction. He doesn’t respect his woman, so he doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong. She has probably already dealt with it before. I’ve been through this exact same thing and there’s a time where enough is enough. Have to respect yourself. He is a child, immature, and doesn’t know what kind of woman he actually has. I say you go ahead and be an idiot! You work on yourself and do better 💪🏼
Because you have to also learn and understand. Learn then seek to understand and that will give you the knowledge of how to move when getting to know a man and finding the right kind of man for you.
I think you're wrong and it's taking me a year but I'm finally on the right path I honestly was lost and did not know how to change grow but now through God and other knowledge I am receiving I am looking to change and hoping to get my partner back If a man really loves a woman then he would try to move the stars in the sun to change do anything for her that's what I'm trying to do
This is why I’m happily single. Liking pictures is unnecessary. Can’t stop him from looking but he’s sending a message with a like. It’s immature. Men put women through so much. A women does something to a man of equal offense and he will never forgive. I’m good on this generation of men. He’s not the one sister, leave he’s keeping his options open.
When people show us who they are we need to believe them. Stop staying because you “love” them when they are clearly showing you that they don’t love you. I speak from experience as a 2x toxic relationship survivor and single mom of 7 who made all of the mistakes so you don’t have to. Now I tell my story and help others heal through my UA-cam channel and self-published books. I tell my story in Love Yourself First & Love Yourself Again on Amazon. Thanks for another great Talks with Tony.💕
PROUD OF YOU..I WAS ALSO IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP..IN 2019...I CAN TELL YOU..1 THING..YOU CANNOT CHANGE A MAN..OR ANYBODY...AFTER GIVING HIM A 2ND CHANCE..HE JUST GOT WORSER..🙄😔
This was a whole word 🙌🏾💕 “Stop wrapping up our identity in someone else”- Tony Gaskins “Y’all ain’t married!! This man not yours”- now that’s the word for every woman who watched this 🙌🏾🏃🏾♀️!
Thank you for literally saying the obvious. Fornicating relationships will literally drag you and on top of this a babygirl now has to suffer in the sinful and emotionally charged mess.
Yes. Stop shacking-up! Stop Living in Sin! It is legally, morally and financially irresponsible for women to continue to put themselves in a losing situation.
Your voice is your biggest gift. The sound, tone, conviction, confidence, sense, vocabulary, accent, I could listen to you all day. Wonderful seeing someone find their gift and walk the path. Changes you are making in humanity will go on generations and I thank you for my future daughters🙏
You summarize exactly what I think of Tony. All of your comment is spot on!! I would add one more thing, and that is his truly wonderful sense of humor. Well said. 🙌🏻🙏🏻
I first got introduced to Mr. Gaskins on someone's podcast. The reason I clicked on his channel is because I'm not used to men talking in a calm and collected voice like that (God bless). I instantly knew no man talks like that unless he has something special. I wasn't wrong and I'm glad I got here.
His calmness is so captivating and serene, as opposed to some other men on shorts or on their channel who want to come on and belittle women and be belligerent for their choices. He comes about it so gently, and it’s what is needed to build a quality audience.
It’s true, it happened to me. My my marriage lasted 24 years, and my ex husband cheated 3 times that I know off. To tell you the truth you don’t need to check the cell, when the man is cheating his attitude and the way he treats you changes.
You deserve better. Looking up exes online is disrespectful and you gave him plenty of chances to change. The relationship is not worth you doubting yourself and your self worth. Take care of your mental health and walk away with your dignity. Hope you find peace and love. 💖✨
In all honesty when someone show you who they are believe them and don't go back it saves you from heratbreak and stress.i know its hard but it is necessary and worth it iam speaking from experience.walking away makes you strong.forgive yourself.move on and keep going.these types of men really are not that worth it.God help us all.
They are both so young. You’re right Tony. Too soon to be parents. Too soon to be in a relation that’s exclusive. He’s not mature enough to control his lust.
A similar situation happened to me. He had me convinced I was wrong for questioning his behaviors on social media. As he continued to wear a Mask for me & our child, that he wanted us to be a family. I could not trust him& it took a mental & physical toll on me. When I said decided I had to walk away because he would continue to behave in the ways of confusion & other ways Not of God - that is when I found that he was in current multiple relationships with women on IG. What May have started in looking, turned into quick lasting hookups. emotional abuse. Men have to learn to have self discipline with lust & entitlement . Women also must not Sexualize themselves & know our Value & Live it❣️❤️ Peace & Love
I can understand her frustration. Like why actually like the pictures? If you see them ok, fine but like interacting with women in a flirty way is an invitation for an opportunity to have sex. To me liking a photo is a form of flirting. You are sending choosing signals. Look all you want but don't flirt. That's how I feel about it.
Exactly like it’s ok if you see the picture but then you go to her page and actually follow this woman are friend her on Facebook so that you can actually see more of her provocative photos then it’s the same thing with next woman and the next and it’s like you giving to much energy to “Lust” and what is going to lead to
Yes exactly we can understand that men will notice beauty but to go looking and searching that’s where it shows INTENTIONS he is checking the menu an if he did shoot his shot and she takes the bait he will cheat plain An simple.
“I don’t want grace to catch me when I fall, I want to not trip on purpose.” TG. That’s so deep. The “If I sin I sin” mentally is the very mentality that gets us in trouble. God’s grace is sufficient, yet it may run out after so much sin. Grace is not a license to sin. So many use it as such.
Tony, I agree with most thing that you said in the video, but again, in the Bible is a quote: But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matthew 5:28)
I thought the same thing. I don’t think it’s okay. Things only escalate after that point. Clearly in her case. I’ve also lived it. It’s absolutely not okay.
This man is not the one for you girl. There are men who are middle aged displaying the same type of behavior who will never change no matter how good of a woman they have.
The situation with this very young girl is that he is not only looking at women but also engaging with them and that changes the whole scenario. It's one thing to be admiring beauty at a distance but when you are also involved with women of past relationships that's when the line is being very much crossed. This young lady is a younger version of myself and that's exactly what happened to me. Fast forward 43 years, this 2022 was the end and the divorce will soon be adjudicated. There should not be a third fourth, fifth, sixth or whatever number after that of forgiveness. He will feel that he can get away with it because he knows she is way too in love with him and will keep doing it because it is being allowed. Cut your losses while you are young and don't waste your time like I did and move on to better and greater things and happier, stable and a more committed relationship. May God bless her and her precious children.
Coming from someone who just ended a relationship with someone I was going to marry for this exact behavior. I hope she see’s this. What he is showing is that he is weak, he is tempted, he is still hunting. This behavior breaks the security in the relationship, it breaks the trust, it creates many issues even in the most secure woman. It is not looking for your worth in a man it is expecting respect the same respect she probably gives. No woman should ever have to go to bed feeling worthless and not enough for the person that pledges his love everyday by your side an then goes and out of his way to lurk on his exes an search for women shaking a** online. That’s nonsense to expect a woman to tolerate that at all. It breaks you down mentally. Everyone saying “oh your not married” “your overstepping boundaries” how do marriages start? In DATING an in this case they are a family unit so it’s more than dating. How can it be said that we have to accept this in this day an age but yet say in this day an age it’s unacceptable to expect simple respect in a relationship that’s ridiculous. An all the women in here agreeing with that let go check your man’s phone, your husbands phone an if you find this type of nonsense on there let’s see how you feel an then come back to these comments I garauntee you will not be saying the same.
I learned along time ago to not go looking and trust God. I use to go looking for something and I would find ‘something’ .. then I would get the ‘oh u don’t trust me’ .. so I said ok I’ll trust God to reveal what is not for me and He meaning God has done this for me every time. If a person has to behave only because u tell them , it will not stick. If a man or women has it about them to cheat they will do it in plain sight and it will be revealed and be prepared to walk . That has become my mentality . If u want to risk losing me then that will be ur bed to lie in . I had to make sure I was strong enough to walk away when it was reveled. Too many times in the past I would try to control the situation and just wore my self out! Never again. U can’t fuss at a man on his behavior and keep looking at phone and find out he is cheating only to still stay . I totally agree with Tony’s take on this letter and his advice👏🏽
Brother Tony, you are a great gift to those who are ready to listen. I just got out of a 10 month relationship and there were red flags flaring everywhere. I didn't want to read the neon signs, this dope was cheating left and right and I stayed... because I loved him (past tense)...I realized I love myself and Lord Jesus more than I loved him. I asked God to cut the ties and the next day, a weight was lifted and I found my voice to break it completely off. I realized I was afraid to be alone so I tolerated a lot of bs. I decided I'd rather be alone than lose my self respect & dignity. At least I can walk forward with my head up still. He didn't get the best of me! He didn't deserve me and God warned me. Woman, don't make excuses for the unworthy! Run! None of us can't hide from God, especially when deception is going on. He knows everything ✝️❤️
Tony, this was a good lesson and hard truth! Thank you! Many times we fight our spouse, boyfriend etc. over small things.. when there are bigger things to focus on.. such as yourself! Women, and I am that woman, will do things silently.. looking etc.. and when the male do something we act so innocent 🤷🏼♀️
This was just what I needed! A few days ago I told myself that I was going to turn a person over to the lord and keep doing my part while I work on myself! Then to listen to this wisdom filled content and find confirmation to what I had been thinking about! I’ve learned my value and I’m becoming secure in who I really am. No longer worrying about things I can’t change. And yes….even married folks look at other nice looking people. What matters is what those looks make you do!
Yes Tony yassssssss!!! I agree with this message 1000% and this is what I need to work on !!! Especially from someone who overthinks and have control and trust issues ! I’m releasing those issues I’m working on it !!Thank you and God bless!
She never said he contacted any other women she said he looked her name up, but that’s it! Y’all can’t expect y’all man to have social media and not like any other pictures 🫤 are y’all going to stop liking pictures or other men!? I’m curious. And I’m also curious of what do women think liking a picture does or means 😬
@@journeywithelyse5837 so you think he looked her up and didn’t hit her up. Let’s not play naive right now, everyone knows when we say liking a woman’s photo we don’t mean an inspirational quote she posted.. To answer your question to “like a woman’s thirst trap” photo it is the equivalent of a man going out his way to walk up to her at Walmart and tell her she is beautiful or he likes the way she looks. Keep it to yourself. Admire from afar. Would you approve If you were At Walmart with your man and he walked up to woman (not just look or quick peek) and said I like/love your body????!!!!????!!!
@@enemyisdebragoins5608 we need to stop with all this “worry about yourself” stuff. So if you feel you aren’t being treated right, you won’t say anything to the man or person?? You’ll just continue on about your day not addressing anything. Cool..
@@journeywithelyse5837 true What’s good for the goose is good for the gander When I got married I stopped liking pics and communicating w other men When I saw hubby msg a woman everyday and discovered this on our “funnymoon” cuz it wasn’t a really honeymoon I realized he may never change
My ex boyfriend was 48 and he was doing the same thing but he was also messaging women for sexy pictures and was addicted to porn. Eventually he was physically cheating as well. I left him after way too many chances thanks to Tony.
This woman driving herself crazy over a young man she ain't even married to. Jumped into the deep end of the pool 5 minutes after meeting him. And what's so frustrating...she was already having these issues with him before they got pregnant. I think she thought parenthood would fix him and their problems.
Thank you for giving a hopeful anecdote. Most of us stuck on finding someone who says change is possible in the real world, everyone else says abandon ship!
@@memememmee7794 You are welcome I think it also has to do with age we are going to our early 30s so at that point . You lived your life more so you experience more . Every relationship will always have its obstacles you just have to figure out if your willing to go through it and stick it out .
Mr, Gaskins! I love all that u sharing Sir! I could listen to u all day every day Sir!! Thank u so much for all that u do. Much love from the Netherlands. Be blessed Mr, Gaskins!
This was a very good informative video. This is a common question and issue that people have, myself included. Listening to this, you gave different perspectives on how to look at it & the correct things to focus on. I’m a avid watcher of your videos and I appreciate the information, stories, and personal experience that you give. It’s extremely helpful and helps people have hope or answer their questions they may genuinely not know. Thank you, thank you & thank you! ❤️
So many people play mind games, and believe that because they do, that the relationship will work out in their favor, but Its true thou what Mr Gaskins say, trying to play detective, trying to play blues clues will only make them loose their mind. To avoid the stress, the worry, its best to just let it go. Many times I wondered should I try to control a situation, and because of wisdom from videos on this channel, I told myself not to. To as he say, "relinquish that control", and let it be. I also recently decided not to be detective or matlock, and not about a relationship, but overall.. its also like one of the previous videos Mr. Gaskins made about not being bound to your past. Instead of trying to blame or wonder who what or why, I found more peace trying not to play blues clues, and just let it be, and control what I can control. 💪🏾 another video as always needed.
I’m glad you told her about the damage of bringing a strange man around especially when you have a baby girl. It’s a lot of sinister things going on unfortunately.
Tony, thank you for always inspiring us to do better! You are right people do become depressed trying to control the mind of someone else! We can't change a person they have to want to change or it won't work. 'We got to the place where we stop trying to control the uncontrollable" TG 🙌🏾
You are worthy of love, respect, honesty and healthy communication. Do not settle for less than you deserve. Keep watching Tony's videos and do the work. The right grown man for you will come.
ThankYou for making this Video and to The Young Lady that sent in this Request, This is ah Very Mature Prospective, What Matters is that Man is In Love with Us His Significant Other or His Wife👑🙏🏾💍💎💖
Ladies please be more careful with who you give your body to. Also, marriage should always, ALWAYS come before kids. P.S. The only thing that makes a man change is surgery.
This is why I enjoy your channel, Tony. Perspective and reality rolled into one. We work on changing ourselves and hope our partners come around. In the scheme of things, at least he's not viewing same sex material while being with you. I recently heard a scholar say be thankful if your kids are even interested in the opposite sex in this day and age. God only burdens us with what we can handle.
I’m behind on your videos but I’m SO glad I watched this one, it was truly a blessing. I love what you said about asking God to reveal things that need to be seen rather going around playing Columbo. Going to re-watch and take notes!
I'm thankful for TG's perspective but I'm not ok with a man intentionally seeking out other women for visual and mental stimulation. This whole topic seems like he is ungrateful to have a mate who cares and wants to be with him. If you are single, sure look, but I can not make excuses for a person who does not feel honored and satisfied being with me. My personality and emotions won't allow me to be visually interested in another man when I'm involved with someone.
Thank you for bringing awareness to child abuse and how careful we must be with our children 🙏🙏🙏🙏 And thank you for being honest. I do think about how easy it is to fall for a fantasy version of someone. People are so much easier to accept and fall for before you get to know them or live with them lol!
I get Tony’s point but I also get where she’s coming from. I understand if his wondering eye is completely innocent & unintentional. I just don’t agree with the idea of a man being friends with his exes on social media. It doesn’t serve a purpose unless you’re still attached to them in some kind of way and want to keep tabs on them. Plus in some cases you would have to actively search and send them a request to actually be able to see their posts if their account is private. I had an ex who randomly preached that he didn’t really have any female friends but every now and then it would show on my feed that he was sending friend requests to females on a regular basis that he probably knew or was getting to know outside of our relationship. I agree that it may be due to his age but I don’t feel that he’s 💯 or maybe he just doesn’t know what he wants yet but cares for her and wants and likes the stability she gives him. You never really know but I understand her perspective.
Soul ties are real and they are very hard to break or get over. She should focus on being the best mother to her baby and work on her purpose. Give the brokenness to God, not the baby.
Mr. Tony I appreciate your honesty but as a young woman I encounter men married/single working in customer service daily. I can literally see the lust in their eyes. The spirit of lust is so strong in them, they will make sexual comments, offer money, slick touching of the hand (while handling paperwork) etc. It’s aggravating because I want to be SEEN by Godly men ONLY. I don’t dress in attire that seeks attention, I stay completely covered. You could be wearing a trash bag and these men will still be ready to taste you. There is a difference in noticing the beauty of someone and making a polite comment (or not). Then there is lusting of the flesh… when you see something/someone, continue to stare, and have unclean thoughts about that person or thing. Depending on how bold you are you will act on it. When I was in the world fornicating with my ex like the young lady in this video. He would intentionally stare at women. It made me feel so uncomfortable because the women he stared down also knew the reason of why he would stare at them. Going through a drive thru he would stare at the fast food worker with a smirk on his face. The young lady looked so uncomfortable and looked directly at me. After having the conversation with him about how it made me feel and how distasteful it is, he either stopped or made it less obvious. I believe God Almighty can deliver anyone from any sin, we as human beings just have to give whatever that is completely up to him. The beauty standards of this world is everywhere we go. And it’s not healthy for us to police what’s right in front of us. But we as women/men of God need to value ourselves soo much that those things become unappealing to the eye (especially from people who don’t value themselves). Men you will always see an insta-booty online but you’ll always have to question if it’s real or not. Women when you see handsome men on a yacht popping bottles, you’ll just know he’s a scammer 😂 and it’s social media. People need to be satisfied with what they have and stop putting value in what the world pushes in our face. Leading with lust always gets you in trouble. A lot of people in unhappy marriages because of 👀 And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell. Mat 18:9
That part...expecting God to bless mess. Just 2 young fools in lust, the only victim here is the baby girl. Very hard lesson to learn, God is in the midst in MARRIAGE. He is no respecter of boyfriend/girlfriend/baby mama/baby daddy situationships. That's Satan's domain and anything goes when you doing it his way and not God's way.
I always appreciate what you say Tony. I agree we should not police another human being but men should understand that just like it's natural for a man to look and lust. It's natural for a woman to be tore down emotionally by those action. God created us as women to feel and sense stuff. It's hard for us to turn off our senses and emotions. It's hard for us to change that likes it's hard for a man to not look but both should work on changing naturally as you basically said. Now the person who wrote in is in fornication and like you said asking God to help in that situation is ironic. But if they were not in fornication I would say there is a big difference between a look and a lingering look. There is a difference between seeing a video and saving a video to view later. There is no need for explicit sites these days, the free stuff on social media is just as bad as the subscriptions. Deleting TikTok and Facebook is not to much (if they were not already in fornication) because that is fleeing temptation which the Bible tells the youth to do. And liking pictures of a half naked woman that a man knows and or is his ex. That is a big warning sign from God in my opinion (again if they were not already in fornication) Liking a post on social media is like a lingering look. Taking time to subscribe to a woman twerking online is a lingering look. That is not a good sign. No need to wait until she is more emotionally invested which is a woman's nature and then after 5 years she doesn't have the strength to leave ( which is typically how it ends up for a woman. ) and now the seed of the social media videos he has been watching, saving and subscribed to has grown up into full blown adult videos and cheating. But now she has 2 to 3 kids instead of one. While I do agree she should work on herself and the sin that she is in. I don't think social media means nothing. It's real and people get in real relationship from it. People hook up with people they meet online everyday. I don't think it's worth leaving over in some cases but if he is saving videos, pics and the look i.e. a glance becomes a stare like a lingering look for 3o sec to a minute and he says to you that don't mean nothing...... Runnnnnnnnn. But if he made the efforts like this young man made. It's worth trying to work it out.
I know that as a women who is choosing to stay abstinent till marriage, the devil will try you. I know that even during prayer I will randomly have inappropiate thoughts come into my mind. I pray for forgiveness and ask for strength. Understand that the enemy will only plant a thought; bringing it into fruition is acting on temptation and therefore sin.
If you find this behavior disrespectful and intolerable, then you have to make that decision for you. Perhaps this gives way to other behaviors that are even more intolerable. The bible says, whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Listen..in my Tony Gaskins voice😄 This is about curses & blessings which one do you want for your life on earth and eternal life after. That simple but so complicated because of flesh. BTW...what a precious message and so helpful and convicting. Definitely wish I had this message when I was a child. 🙏🏽🙌🏽
I feel if you’re struggling with lust in regards to being online and seeing pics that entice you, it might not be a bad idea to not have an account and get materials to study in your area of weakness. He has to want that for himself.
Absolutely, the coaching point of the early 2020s in Christianity in the United States of America: Grace (and the presence of God) - mostly predominantly white churches who have a more modern lifestyle approach. That get yo life right/keep it pure - mostly predominantly black churches and some white who come from some legacy in Bible training and parents (birth or spiritual parents) who are devout. No fall out or damnation, either way, we just have to trust God on the truth prevailing. God is getting all of this in order, even down to TG's call in life - Life, Love, and Business.
Yeessssss Tony!!!!! The relationship started in fornication and her engaging in lust with him but expect for that relationship to turn around. God can do it but don’t think we will not reap the seeds that we sow.
Here's the hard truth for us as Christian women:
A man is not a true man of God if he keeps leading you into fornication, is comfortable moving in together minus any marriage, and is clearly a lust-driven being.
When we find ourselves with these types, we need to stop, drop, and roll! Stop the toxic relationship, repent and ask Jesus Christ for His strength to break away, and roll right back into Christ's arms.
These are the types of men who waste a good woman's time, energy, and resources and give her nothing but heartbreak and destruction.
When you see the red flags, run away my dears! Just run away!
It is better to be alone and happy, than "coupled up" and dying slowly. God bless. 🙏🏽
Amen 🙏🏽
🙌🏾🙌🏾💕
Amen, so true!
Amen Jesus!!!!
So true, all of this
There is a difference between men casually looking at a woman in passing and a man who actively goes out and seeks out pictures and videos on social media because he feels like he needs it. That is where it crosses over into addiction. That is what this woman is dealing with. He is 22 he is still immature and doesn't want to settle down yet.
True
Exactly.
Exactly he doesn't see anything wrong in his behavior so he will keep doing it she needs to let him be for her sanity sake he is still a child to me she keeps forgiving him but it is a very stressful situation that am sorry she needs to leave for the child and herself
Just curious, in 2022 and for a 22 year old, aren’t they the same though?
Lord yes!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 It does cross into addiction. He doesn’t respect his woman, so he doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong. She has probably already dealt with it before. I’ve been through this exact same thing and there’s a time where enough is enough. Have to respect yourself. He is a child, immature, and doesn’t know what kind of woman he actually has. I say you go ahead and be an idiot! You work on yourself and do better 💪🏼
The more I learn about men the less interested I am in them..
Lol yep & they are all like this … every single last one of them. Wanting lil girls too. It’s scary out here ! 😫
RIGHT 😂
Because you have to also learn and understand. Learn then seek to understand and that will give you the knowledge of how to move when getting to know a man and finding the right kind of man for you.
I think you're wrong and it's taking me a year but I'm finally on the right path I honestly was lost and did not know how to change grow but now through God and other knowledge I am receiving I am looking to change and hoping to get my partner back If a man really loves a woman then he would try to move the stars in the sun to change do anything for her that's what I'm trying to do
This is why I’m happily single. Liking pictures is unnecessary. Can’t stop him from looking but he’s sending a message with a like. It’s immature. Men put women through so much. A women does something to a man of equal offense and he will never forgive. I’m good on this generation of men. He’s not the one sister, leave he’s keeping his options open.
And he has a child w her… no shame at all
When people show us who they are we need to believe them. Stop staying because you “love” them when they are clearly showing you that they don’t love you. I speak from experience as a 2x toxic relationship survivor and single mom of 7 who made all of the mistakes so you don’t have to. Now I tell my story and help others heal through my UA-cam channel and self-published books. I tell my story in Love Yourself First & Love Yourself Again on Amazon. Thanks for another great Talks with Tony.💕
Amen Sis
👏🏾
PROUD OF YOU..I WAS ALSO IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP..IN 2019...I CAN TELL YOU..1 THING..YOU CANNOT CHANGE A MAN..OR ANYBODY...AFTER GIVING HIM A 2ND CHANCE..HE JUST GOT WORSER..🙄😔
This was a whole word 🙌🏾💕
“Stop wrapping up our identity in someone else”- Tony Gaskins
“Y’all ain’t married!! This man not yours”- now that’s the word for every woman who watched this 🙌🏾🏃🏾♀️!
Thank you for literally saying the obvious. Fornicating relationships will literally drag you and on top of this a babygirl now has to suffer in the sinful and emotionally charged mess.
Yes. Stop shacking-up! Stop Living in Sin! It is legally, morally and financially irresponsible for women to continue to put themselves in a losing situation.
Your voice is your biggest gift. The sound, tone, conviction, confidence, sense, vocabulary, accent, I could listen to you all day. Wonderful seeing someone find their gift and walk the path. Changes you are making in humanity will go on generations and I thank you for my future daughters🙏
You summarize exactly what I think of Tony. All of your comment is spot on!! I would add one more thing, and that is his truly wonderful sense of humor. Well said. 🙌🏻🙏🏻
I first got introduced to Mr. Gaskins on someone's podcast. The reason I clicked on his channel is because I'm not used to men talking in a calm and collected voice like that (God bless). I instantly knew no man talks like that unless he has something special. I wasn't wrong and I'm glad I got here.
His calmness is so captivating and serene, as opposed to some other men on shorts or on their channel who want to come on and belittle women and be belligerent for their choices. He comes about it so gently, and it’s what is needed to build a quality audience.
It’s true, it happened to me. My my marriage lasted 24 years, and my ex husband cheated 3 times that I know off. To tell you the truth you don’t need to check the cell, when the man is cheating his attitude and the way he treats you changes.
"I DO NOT WANT TO DIVE INTO SIN...I WANT THE GRACE TO CATCH ME IF I FALL" 💯👈
You deserve better. Looking up exes online is disrespectful and you gave him plenty of chances to change. The relationship is not worth you doubting yourself and your self worth. Take care of your mental health and walk away with your dignity. Hope you find peace and love. 💖✨
In all honesty when someone show you who they are believe them and don't go back it saves you from heratbreak and stress.i know its hard but it is necessary and worth it iam speaking from experience.walking away makes you strong.forgive yourself.move on and keep going.these types of men really are not that worth it.God help us all.
So true
They are both so young. You’re right Tony. Too soon to be parents. Too soon to be in a relation that’s exclusive. He’s not mature enough to control his lust.
Girl leave that man. He’s is disrespectful and emotionally abusing you
A similar situation happened to me. He had me convinced I was wrong for questioning his behaviors on social media. As he continued to wear a Mask for me & our child, that he wanted us to be a family. I could not trust him& it took a mental & physical toll on me. When I said decided I had to walk away because he would continue to behave in the ways of confusion & other ways Not of God - that is when I found that he was in current multiple relationships with women on IG. What May have started in looking, turned into quick lasting hookups. emotional abuse. Men have to learn to have self discipline with lust & entitlement . Women also must not Sexualize themselves & know our Value & Live it❣️❤️ Peace & Love
@@lovesocialmedia3198 I do not understand what you are saying. People do find themselves having sex before marriage. Is that what you are asking?
@@lovesocialmedia3198 I thought father & I were in an exclusive relationship.
I can understand her frustration. Like why actually like the pictures? If you see them ok, fine but like interacting with women in a flirty way is an invitation for an opportunity to have sex. To me liking a photo is a form of flirting. You are sending choosing signals. Look all you want but don't flirt. That's how I feel about it.
Exactly like it’s ok if you see the picture but then you go to her page and actually follow this woman are friend her on Facebook so that you can actually see more of her provocative photos then it’s the same thing with next woman and the next and it’s like you giving to much energy to “Lust” and what is going to lead to
@@behindthescenesreviews6858 yes, because that type of behavior makes me feel like he doesn't have any self control or self discipline.
Tony has actually said this before. I’m surprise he didn’t say it in this video.
Yes exactly we can understand that men will notice beauty but to go looking and searching that’s where it shows INTENTIONS he is checking the menu an if he did shoot his shot and she takes the bait he will cheat plain An simple.
“I don’t want grace to catch me when I fall, I want to not trip on purpose.” TG. That’s so deep. The “If I sin I sin” mentally is the very mentality that gets us in trouble. God’s grace is sufficient, yet it may run out after so much sin. Grace is not a license to sin. So many use it as such.
The email may be late but the message is always on time 🙏🏽
Leave him. If you did something of equal offense he would never forgive you and make your life Hell by taking revenge on you in every way possible.
That is so very accurate.
@@wandamajette5000 yep I can attest because I’ve been through it.
Tony, I agree with most thing that you said in the video, but again, in the Bible is a quote: But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matthew 5:28)
I thought the same thing. I don’t think it’s okay. Things only escalate after that point. Clearly in her case. I’ve also lived it. It’s absolutely not okay.
I agree it’s okay to look but it’s disrespectful to stare
Sis, sleeping with your boyfriend while wanting him to get baptized so he can stop looking at other women do not go together.
Good afternoon Tony! I love listening to you daily. You give so much true & helpful information. Thank you and may God continue to bless you.
Ofcourse he will change....for his God ordained spouse!!!!!
So true, a man will only change for the woman who is the one. He will change for that one.
@@millicentstollenwerck5239 yup!!!
Facts!
@@lynne4948 yup!!!
@@lynne4948 yup!!!!
This man is not the one for you girl. There are men who are middle aged displaying the same type of behavior who will never change no matter how good of a woman they have.
I completely agree
The situation with this very young girl is that he is not only looking at women but also engaging with them and that changes the whole scenario. It's one thing to be admiring beauty at a distance but when you are also involved with women of past relationships that's when the line is being very much crossed. This young lady is a younger version of myself and that's exactly what happened to me. Fast forward 43 years, this 2022 was the end and the divorce will soon be adjudicated. There should not be a third fourth, fifth, sixth or whatever number after that of forgiveness. He will feel that he can get away with it because he knows she is way too in love with him and will keep doing it because it is being allowed. Cut your losses while you are young and don't waste your time like I did and move on to better and greater things and happier, stable and a more committed relationship. May God bless her and her precious children.
Coming from someone who just ended a relationship with someone I was going to marry for this exact behavior. I hope she see’s this. What he is showing is that he is weak, he is tempted, he is still hunting. This behavior breaks the security in the relationship, it breaks the trust, it creates many issues even in the most secure woman. It is not looking for your worth in a man it is expecting respect the same respect she probably gives. No woman should ever have to go to bed feeling worthless and not enough for the person that pledges his love everyday by your side an then goes and out of his way to lurk on his exes an search for women shaking a** online. That’s nonsense to expect a woman to tolerate that at all. It breaks you down mentally. Everyone saying “oh your not married” “your overstepping boundaries” how do marriages start? In DATING an in this case they are a family unit so it’s more than dating. How can it be said that we have to accept this in this day an age but yet say in this day an age it’s unacceptable to expect simple respect in a relationship that’s ridiculous. An all the women in here agreeing with that let go check your man’s phone, your husbands phone an if you find this type of nonsense on there let’s see how you feel an then come back to these comments I garauntee you will not be saying the same.
💯 I couldn’t agree with you more!
Your comment made me tear up because this is exactly how I felt but could not articulate it.
I learned along time ago to not go looking and trust God. I use to go looking for something and I would find ‘something’ .. then I would get the ‘oh u don’t trust me’ .. so I said ok I’ll trust God to reveal what is not for me and He meaning God has done this for me every time. If a person has to behave only because u tell them , it will not stick. If a man or women has it about them to cheat they will do it in plain sight and it will be revealed and be prepared to walk . That has become my mentality . If u want to risk losing me then that will be ur bed to lie in . I had to make sure I was strong enough to walk away when it was reveled. Too many times in the past I would try to control the situation and just wore my self out! Never again. U can’t fuss at a man on his behavior and keep looking at phone and find out he is cheating only to still stay . I totally agree with Tony’s take on this letter and his advice👏🏽
Brother Tony, you are a great gift to those who are ready to listen. I just got out of a 10 month relationship and there were red flags flaring everywhere. I didn't want to read the neon signs, this dope was cheating left and right and I stayed... because I loved him (past tense)...I realized I love myself and Lord Jesus more than I loved him. I asked God to cut the ties and the next day, a weight was lifted and I found my voice to break it completely off. I realized I was afraid to be alone so I tolerated a lot of bs. I decided I'd rather be alone than lose my self respect & dignity. At least I can walk forward with my head up still. He didn't get the best of me! He didn't deserve me and God warned me. Woman, don't make excuses for the unworthy! Run! None of us can't hide from God, especially when deception is going on. He knows everything ✝️❤️
Tony, this was a good lesson and hard truth! Thank you! Many times we fight our spouse, boyfriend etc. over small things.. when there are bigger things to focus on.. such as yourself! Women, and I am that woman, will do things silently.. looking etc.. and when the male do something we act so innocent 🤷🏼♀️
I've been her.
This was just what I needed! A few days ago I told myself that I was going to turn a person over to the lord and keep doing my part while I work on myself! Then to listen to this wisdom filled content and find confirmation to what I had been thinking about! I’ve learned my value and I’m becoming secure in who I really am. No longer worrying about things I can’t change. And yes….even married folks look at other nice looking people. What matters is what those looks make you do!
Nothing wrong with looking, but he is going out of his way and seeking women out online.
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Yes Tony yassssssss!!! I agree with this message 1000% and this is what I need to work on !!! Especially from someone who overthinks and have control and trust issues ! I’m releasing those issues I’m working on it !!Thank you and God bless!
I wish TG talked more about her other concerns:
the “liking” of photos on IG and contacting his ex🤷♀️
She never said he contacted any other women she said he looked her name up, but that’s it! Y’all can’t expect y’all man to have social media and not like any other pictures 🫤 are y’all going to stop liking pictures or other men!? I’m curious. And I’m also curious of what do women think liking a picture does or means 😬
@@journeywithelyse5837 so you think he looked her up and didn’t hit her up.
Let’s not play naive right now, everyone knows when we say liking a woman’s photo we don’t mean an inspirational quote she posted.. To answer your question to “like a woman’s thirst trap” photo it is the equivalent of a man going out his way to walk up to her at Walmart and tell her she is beautiful or he likes the way she looks. Keep it to yourself. Admire from afar.
Would you approve If you were At Walmart with your man and he walked up to woman (not just look or quick peek) and said I like/love your body????!!!!????!!!
@@enemyisdebragoins5608 we need to stop with all this “worry about yourself” stuff. So if you feel you aren’t being treated right, you won’t say anything to the man or person?? You’ll just continue on about your day not addressing anything. Cool..
That’s limerance I think it’s called
But still wrong
@@journeywithelyse5837 true
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander
When I got married I stopped liking pics and communicating w other men
When I saw hubby msg a woman everyday and discovered this on our “funnymoon” cuz it wasn’t a really honeymoon I realized he may never change
My ex boyfriend was 48 and he was doing the same thing but he was also messaging women for sexy pictures and was addicted to porn. Eventually he was physically cheating as well. I left him after way too many chances thanks to Tony.
You teaching today Brother Tony. We try to control and we really can’t ….
This woman driving herself crazy over a young man she ain't even married to. Jumped into the deep end of the pool 5 minutes after meeting him. And what's so frustrating...she was already having these issues with him before they got pregnant. I think she thought parenthood would fix him and their problems.
It’s unfortunate. A lot of people think that having kids with a man will change the man.
My man changed for me completely so yes it is possible if he really loves you ❤️
Thank you for giving a hopeful anecdote. Most of us stuck on finding someone who says change is possible in the real world, everyone else says abandon ship!
@@memememmee7794
You are welcome I think it also has to do with age we are going to our early 30s so at that point . You lived your life more so you experience more . Every relationship will always have its obstacles you just have to figure out if your willing to go through it and stick it out .
Black preachers I know are preaching prosperity.
Mr, Gaskins! I love all that u sharing Sir! I could listen to u all day every day Sir!! Thank u so much for all that u do. Much love from the Netherlands. Be blessed Mr, Gaskins!
This was a very good informative video. This is a common question and issue that people have, myself included. Listening to this, you gave different perspectives on how to look at it & the correct things to focus on. I’m a avid watcher of your videos and I appreciate the information, stories, and personal experience that you give. It’s extremely helpful and helps people have hope or answer their questions they may genuinely not know. Thank you, thank you & thank you! ❤️
Great Message! Let ppl show you who they are & never try to control any man! BIG FACTS!!!
So many people play mind games, and believe that because they do, that the relationship will work out in their favor, but Its true thou what Mr Gaskins say, trying to play detective, trying to play blues clues will only make them loose their mind. To avoid the stress, the worry, its best to just let it go. Many times I wondered should I try to control a situation, and because of wisdom from videos on this channel, I told myself not to. To as he say, "relinquish that control", and let it be. I also recently decided not to be detective or matlock, and not about a relationship, but overall.. its also like one of the previous videos Mr. Gaskins made about not being bound to your past. Instead of trying to blame or wonder who what or why, I found more peace trying not to play blues clues, and just let it be, and control what I can control. 💪🏾 another video as always needed.
I’m glad you told her about the damage of bringing a strange man around especially when you have a baby girl. It’s a lot of sinister things going on unfortunately.
Thank you Tony!
That was great advice and words of wisdom like always from you..🤩
Tony, thank you for always inspiring us to do better! You are right people do become depressed trying to control the mind of someone else! We can't change a person they have to want to change or it won't work. 'We got to the place where we stop trying to control the uncontrollable" TG 🙌🏾
This right here saved my life today 🙏🏽 It brought clarity to my current situation.
You are worthy of love, respect, honesty and healthy communication. Do not settle for less than you deserve. Keep watching Tony's videos and do the work. The right grown man for you will come.
@@KM__respect absolutely! Thank you
“Once saved, always saved” ain’t going to cut it.
Let's be led by the HOLY SPIRIT Ladies and not by our feelings!!!! Cause we know our feelings can get us into whole lot of trouble!!!!
ThankYou for making this Video and to The Young Lady that sent in this Request, This is ah Very Mature Prospective, What Matters is that Man is In Love with Us His Significant Other or His Wife👑🙏🏾💍💎💖
Best thing you can do is focus on making yourself the best person you can be. And remember you have eyes too.
Amen. I thank God for the grace to grow and become better. That's what this channel is about. Thankful. 🙏🏿
Ladies please be more careful with who you give your body to. Also, marriage should always, ALWAYS come before kids.
P.S. The only thing that makes a man change is surgery.
This is why I enjoy your channel, Tony. Perspective and reality rolled into one. We work on changing ourselves and hope our partners come around. In the scheme of things, at least he's not viewing same sex material while being with you. I recently heard a scholar say be thankful if your kids are even interested in the opposite sex in this day and age. God only burdens us with what we can handle.
I’m behind on your videos but I’m SO glad I watched this one, it was truly a blessing. I love what you said about asking God to reveal things that need to be seen rather going around playing Columbo. Going to re-watch and take notes!
Thanks so much. I needed this advice in my twenties.
I'm thankful for TG's perspective but I'm not ok with a man intentionally seeking out other women for visual and mental stimulation. This whole topic seems like he is ungrateful to have a mate who cares and wants to be with him. If you are single, sure look, but I can not make excuses for a person who does not feel honored and satisfied being with me. My personality and emotions won't allow me to be visually interested in another man when I'm involved with someone.
Thank you for bringing awareness to child abuse and how careful we must be with our children 🙏🙏🙏🙏
And thank you for being honest. I do think about how easy it is to fall for a fantasy version of someone. People are so much easier to accept and fall for before you get to know them or live with them lol!
The question so many of us ask! Thanks Tony🙏🏻🙏🏻
Faith without works is dead.
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Thank you as always @tonygaskins 👌💯
Perfect.. I’ll eat my lunch and watch TWT ❤️
Same ! Lol🌺
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Yes, Ray Charles couldn't see but he would feel on them women's wrists! Whew this message was good, Tony 🙌🏾
I get Tony’s point but I also get where she’s coming from. I understand if his wondering eye is completely innocent & unintentional. I just don’t agree with the idea of a man being friends with his exes on social media. It doesn’t serve a purpose unless you’re still attached to them in some kind of way and want to keep tabs on them. Plus in some cases you would have to actively search and send them a request to actually be able to see their posts if their account is private. I had an ex who randomly preached that he didn’t really have any female friends but every now and then it would show on my feed that he was sending friend requests to females on a regular basis that he probably knew or was getting to know outside of our relationship. I agree that it may be due to his age but I don’t feel that he’s 💯 or maybe he just doesn’t know what he wants yet but cares for her and wants and likes the stability she gives him. You never really know but I understand her perspective.
LOOOL I'm sorry the mailbox story is so funny with your mother in law 😂😂😂 36:27
Tony…YOU DID THAT!!! Wonderfully said!!!
“Do her thang stank” lol Tony you crazy 😂😂😂
Wow, this really hits home.
Soul ties are real and they are very hard to break or get over. She should focus on being the best mother to her baby and work on her purpose. Give the brokenness to God, not the baby.
I love to hear Tony say "my goodness!" 😂
Awesome content ☺️👍🏽
Mr. Tony I appreciate your honesty but as a young woman I encounter men married/single working in customer service daily. I can literally see the lust in their eyes. The spirit of lust is so strong in them, they will make sexual comments, offer money, slick touching of the hand (while handling paperwork) etc. It’s aggravating because I want to be SEEN by Godly men ONLY. I don’t dress in attire that seeks attention, I stay completely covered. You could be wearing a trash bag and these men will still be ready to taste you.
There is a difference in noticing the beauty of someone and making a polite comment (or not). Then there is lusting of the flesh… when you see something/someone, continue to stare, and have unclean thoughts about that person or thing. Depending on how bold you are you will act on it.
When I was in the world fornicating with my ex like the young lady in this video. He would intentionally stare at women. It made me feel so uncomfortable because the women he stared down also knew the reason of why he would stare at them. Going through a drive thru he would stare at the fast food worker with a smirk on his face. The young lady looked so uncomfortable and looked directly at me. After having the conversation with him about how it made me feel and how distasteful it is, he either stopped or made it less obvious. I believe God Almighty can deliver anyone from any sin, we as human beings just have to give whatever that is completely up to him.
The beauty standards of this world is everywhere we go. And it’s not healthy for us to police what’s right in front of us. But we as women/men of God need to value ourselves soo much that those things become unappealing to the eye (especially from people who don’t value themselves). Men you will always see an insta-booty online but you’ll always have to question if it’s real or not. Women when you see handsome men on a yacht popping bottles, you’ll just know he’s a scammer 😂 and it’s social media. People need to be satisfied with what they have and stop putting value in what the world pushes in our face. Leading with lust always gets you in trouble. A lot of people in unhappy marriages because of 👀
And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell. Mat 18:9
Good message, Tony. Thank you for being so thorough and transparent ❤️
Question of the year/decade. 🙂
Wheew sir, that was some mature and spirit-led realness. I am married and learned A LOT 🔥.
Roman's 6:23 explains it well. There is grace but it is not a pass to sin.
That part...expecting God to bless mess. Just 2 young fools in lust, the only victim here is the baby girl. Very hard lesson to learn, God is in the midst in MARRIAGE. He is no respecter of boyfriend/girlfriend/baby mama/baby daddy situationships. That's Satan's domain and anything goes when you doing it his way and not God's way.
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Right On Tony stay blessed!!!!!
I always appreciate what you say Tony. I agree we should not police another human being but men should understand that just like it's natural for a man to look and lust. It's natural for a woman to be tore down emotionally by those action. God created us as women to feel and sense stuff. It's hard for us to turn off our senses and emotions. It's hard for us to change that likes it's hard for a man to not look but both should work on changing naturally as you basically said. Now the person who wrote in is in fornication and like you said asking God to help in that situation is ironic. But if they were not in fornication I would say there is a big difference between a look and a lingering look. There is a difference between seeing a video and saving a video to view later. There is no need for explicit sites these days, the free stuff on social media is just as bad as the subscriptions. Deleting TikTok and Facebook is not to much (if they were not already in fornication) because that is fleeing temptation which the Bible tells the youth to do. And liking pictures of a half naked woman that a man knows and or is his ex. That is a big warning sign from God in my opinion (again if they were not already in fornication) Liking a post on social media is like a lingering look. Taking time to subscribe to a woman twerking online is a lingering look. That is not a good sign. No need to wait until she is more emotionally invested which is a woman's nature and then after 5 years she doesn't have the strength to leave ( which is typically how it ends up for a woman. ) and now the seed of the social media videos he has been watching, saving and subscribed to has grown up into full blown adult videos and cheating. But now she has 2 to 3 kids instead of one. While I do agree she should work on herself and the sin that she is in. I don't think social media means nothing. It's real and people get in real relationship from it. People hook up with people they meet online everyday. I don't think it's worth leaving over in some cases but if he is saving videos, pics and the look i.e. a glance becomes a stare like a lingering look for 3o sec to a minute and he says to you that don't mean nothing...... Runnnnnnnnn. But if he made the efforts like this young man made. It's worth trying to work it out.
I love your message Tony.. thank you. You so right .. thank you for that
I know that as a women who is choosing to stay abstinent till marriage, the devil will try you. I know that even during prayer I will randomly have inappropiate thoughts come into my mind. I pray for forgiveness and ask for strength. Understand that the enemy will only plant a thought; bringing it into fruition is acting on temptation and therefore sin.
Tony you know how to turn a bad day in pur laughter 😃 thank you😊
This video is going to help me for my future relationship.
Great message for her. Also hilarious too! Had me cracking up! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
This was a very informative video Tony. Very mind opening and well received.
Thanks!
If you find this behavior disrespectful and intolerable, then you have to make that decision for you.
Perhaps this gives way to other behaviors that are even more intolerable.
The bible says, whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.
This is GOODT. Def rewatching 5x 💎💎
really good message tony
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Listen..in my Tony Gaskins voice😄
This is about curses & blessings which one do you want for your life on earth and eternal life after. That simple but so complicated because of flesh.
BTW...what a precious message and so helpful and convicting. Definitely wish I had this message when I was a child. 🙏🏽🙌🏽
True repentance is a 180 degree change. Grace is there when you unintentionally sin.
Thank you! This was helpful information.
This is a good regarding your technique. It’s probably also helped your mental a lot.
One thing about Tony, he gon keep it real. May step on my toes, but I appreciate his honesty.
Lmbo! “Mustafa down there “ Tony also needs be a comedian. So funny too. Gotta luv him❤.
I feel if you’re struggling with lust in regards to being online and seeing pics that entice you, it might not be a bad idea to not have an account and get materials to study in your area of weakness. He has to want that for himself.
Relationship WITH GOD IS KEY, like REAL IN LOVE with God!!!
You kept it all the way real. Loved your video as always!
Absolutely, the coaching point of the early 2020s in Christianity in the United States of America:
Grace (and the presence of God) - mostly predominantly white churches who have a more modern lifestyle approach.
That get yo life right/keep it pure - mostly predominantly black churches and some white who come from some legacy in Bible training and parents (birth or spiritual parents) who are devout.
No fall out or damnation, either way, we just have to trust God on the truth prevailing. God is getting all of this in order, even down to TG's call in life - Life, Love, and Business.
Hello Tony and Blessed Tribe 🙋🏾♀️
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This video needs to go VIRAL!!!💎💎💎💎
The ENTIRE MESSAGE 🙌🏿
THIS!!! Thank you Tony!🙏🏽
I been praying everyday that God gives me the strength and that he changes
Pleading w God ...
"You need to get a vice..."🤣🤣🤣
Yeessssss Tony!!!!! The relationship started in fornication and her engaging in lust with him but expect for that relationship to turn around. God can do it but don’t think we will not reap the seeds that we sow.
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