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Engaged but still want my ex! | Talks with Tony
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- Опубліковано 10 бер 2022
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It takes a woman who’s had enough to appreciate a good man.
Preach it
FACTs!!!
So true. Ciara is a prime example
Amen oui
At the root of toxic relationships is a lack of confidence and self-love. Say this:
I am worthy
I worthy someone's full attention
I am worthy of someone’s time
I deserve a relationship I don't have to recover from
Truth!🗣💯
Love this!!
All of this‼
This is sadly an example of what happens when we don’t heal first before dealing with a new person. She needs to thank God for the new man she has because Tony’s right. It doesn’t get better than a man accepting you and a child that isn’t his. She needs to appreciate what she has.
Exactly, whenever I got out of a relationship I would take 2 and sometimes 3 year breaks. You must clear that energy.
That's exactly what my ex husband did to me right before he got married he was calling me was acting emotionally confused reaching out all the time when I decided to not entertain the idea of playing into his game he married her
The crazy thing is the baby dad was consistent with who he was THE WHOLE TIME and change was still expected. SMH Ladies, we have to do better! So he’s a deadbeat dad and you STILL want him!? That’s says more about you than it does him love. Spoken in love and experience 🙋🏽♀️
Damn girl, stop yelling at me 😭
It says that she wasn’t taught to love herself, set boundaries, and not seek approval from others especially men. His behavior is probably a direct reflection of someone she was raised by. People learn how to be treated by others by how the people in their family treat them. It’s not something to judge her for, just something she needs to recognize and work towards improving.
Agreed.... cant keep complaining about who he's constantly been and you chose to stick around 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
Any simp who gets with a single mother deserves what he gets.
He's not just a Deadbeat Dad. He's straight up a POS and she would still want to smell his dirty drawers after the way he's treated her.
Obviously this woman does not want a good man and she is not ready for one. She really needs to be alone until she heals. Its a long and hard process but its so worth it.
Tony you are right. Good people are treated like dirt, and the love we should be getting from our spouses/partners is given to others. Her fiancé doesn’t deserve that. Leave him alone if your can’t love him and treat him right.
💯
I agree
Facts
Hearing stories like this makes me even more GRATEFUL that I don’t have kids & baby daddy problems😩🙌🏾 The Lord helped me dodge that bullet (sn: I’m 21 & will be 22 this month)
And these kind of situation keeps women from healing and finding someone that wants to be with her. When I broke it off with my daughter's dad, he was upset when I would not sweetheart him. He told me all of his boys kid's mom did it.🤦♀️
Yes girl keep it that way. Keep watching Tony and looking out for F boys. When you ready, you will find him and you'll be grateful u waited.
Yes 33 no kids no baby daddy drama. God has spared me from alot. So grateful for his grace!!
Good for yu yu are young yu deserve better listen to Tony’s videos so yu don’t suffer
yu are beautiful it’s best to be alone enjoy yuor loniness in a good healthy environment don’t fall for men s lies manipulating way to abuse yu yu are worthy and valuable
SISTAH! If you dont want him, please, send him over here! Respectfully :-)
Lol...u silly😂 but facts. 👈
Her poor fiancée. She doesn’t deserve him.
You hit the nail on the head. She is subconsciously seeking approval from her ex and confusing it with love. She is getting drawn back into the toxicity. She needs to find complete closure within herself from that man and heal whatever insecurities he put in her. There is a psychology term for this its called trauma bonding.
This girl is a “lucky girl” and she don’t even know it. Open those pretty brown eyes, and realize what you have, before he realizes what “he doesn’t have” and leave you. Get it together sis‼️
I’m here for the tough love, we need to get a grip. I used to get my feelings hurt in the beginning but two years of the blessed tribe knowledge, and I am abstinent, empowered and thriving in life and career.
💯👍 sis.
Congratulations ✨💕🙌🏾
👏🏽💯👍🏽💪🏽🤗
Blessings 🙏
Congratulations
She's infatuated with what could be with "baby daddy" instead of realizing what is which is a weak, unstable man.
Some men especially those who aren't walking with God will always try you...especially once they've "had" you. My child is 10 and I haven't been in a relationship with his dad since his birth and he still thinks he has a chance of bedding me...I literally almost throw up when he tries to shoot his shot. Let that man go...trust me...he isn't what you need or deserve. And the fact that you already got another man who is willing to stand in the gap and care for you and your child is a blessing. Don't let temporary foolishness cause you to make a lifetime mistake.
This is a literal example of a SOUL TIE. I think your response is exactly what she needed! Praying for her and anyone else going through this. 🙏🏾✨ self love is the best love. 💕
Amen 💯.
I receive that prayer girl 🙏🏾
I thought that before Tony was done with the letter.
She should not have been dating anyone until she was fully healed and over him. I know children are a blessing, but they are more of a blessing when they are done the right way. Marry before you carry, a man that don’t marry you don’t plane on carrying you, now she has to deal with the consequences of her choice and take care of his seed, I made the decision not to carry on a mans legacy. Or possibly a generational curse because the son could grow and be just like him, you know the apple don’t fall too far from the tree, then they turn around get made and say your judging them.
If you keep repeating the same behaviors, patterns, and choosing the same so-called "type" in a person, you'll keep attracting the same type of relationships. If you want to attract different, you have to choose different.
💙UA-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
She can’t let go because of the sex- this soul tie is rooted in sex - he’s a typical grown boy who’s great in the bedroom but nothing else
I was definitely thinking the same thing. So sad though
This was me 4 years ago. I learned my lesson we deserve better. Let that piece of s*** go. Choose peace any day, keep your good man, it it tough out there. Love yourself women!!
Hope she hears what he said because it’s rare to have a good man nowadays. I get our insecurities can get in the way of thinking do we deserve this good thing?! It’s about time for you to be happy girl!
I hope this is not too late and she hasn't already picked that deadbeat. This has to be soul ties from the pit of hell to want or choose a man that treated you like that over a good man cos ain't no way. It ain't no way.
Give that man to someone who deserves him, that man doesn't deserve a woman that's still lusting over a deadbeat .
A man that will raise another man's son is an angel.
Amen ❤️❤️❤️girl
I honestly just don’t believe women are meant to have to try to break a soul tie and have to start all over. Women would be kept under their fathers until given to their husbands. We see the affects of fatherless boys but the fatherless daughters are fighting in silence. Idk idk but I understand and pray she heals 😌🙏🏾❤️
Idk sis, it sounds good but our communities are so broken in this society that too many of the mamas and daddies are trash themselves 😔 so yea if a healthy, productive, God loving mother and father are in the home that should be the standard, but unfortunately not the case for many of us
seriously women like these need a reality check, when peace comes they seek chaos. Woman, are you not tired?! Seek peace, it's Godly.
This lady had C-PTSD. She has suffered some kind of neglect in her childhood, that is why she is in love with someone who doesn't care about her. Whenever you've been neglected in your childhood or have had a narcissistic parent, you tend to attach to people who give you little or no attention and love. Poor her! She needs to do some research on C-PTSD and reflect on her childhood trauma with a professional.
I was once in this young lady's shoes. I took everything in me to know and see my worth. It was difficult, instead of calling him to come cuddle me, I cried myself to sleep. Wake up the next day renewed. I messed up here n there but I knew who he is. I asked God to give me strength every day. I once needed validation from him. Not no more . Thank God and Uncle Tony.
Me too!
It’s like almost EVERYONE is chasing after the person who doesn’t want them or treats them like crap.. like why is that? then an actual good person comes in your life and it’s like “eh.. not really interested”.. like think about how corrupt that actually is? It’s like people get a thrill off of getting hurt and conquering the one that hurt them.. got a nerve to be calling everyone narcissists and everything 🙄 like no everyone isn’t a narcissist and you’re NOT a victim. i’m tired
That is so true. I feel like women who are so used to the “drama” it doesn’t feel right for them if it’s a “Healthy” type of love….they’d rather have all the toxicity and I think to myself as well…BUT WHY!?!? Smh 😑🤔 that is so twisted to me!
@@mrsjade30 Right?! and it’s the men too! a lot of the men who are going around breaking hearts have the “one who got away” and hasn’t been the same since. Still longing for an ex from years ago and making innocent women suffer for her leaving. It’s ridiculous.
It’s called rejection. Most of us battle rejection & when you operate from this place the lenses you see out of are tinted. This thing keeps a stronghold on most of us! But knowledge is deliverance 🙏🏾🙌🏾
@Eve Shalom THIS!!!!!!
@@eveshalom3534 I think it's common sense that I am talking about rejection. It doesn't make the point any less valid
“Like who like you, not who you like.” TG’s Grandma
My late grandma (R.I.P) said to me, "Yours is the one who wants you!"
This message hit to the core lord Jesus help not only this young lady but us women.
I felt this one hard. Need to draw better boundaries with the ex…so true about the therapy 😩. Thank you for the tough love TG. And for the writer, please acknowledge and appreciate the blessing that you have in a good man. 🙏🏽
Truth level 1000. My situation is somewhat similar without the good Fiancée. If only she knew how good she got it.
I'm kicking myself because i played dumb. Was more concerned about my biological clock than trusting God's promise and doing better for myself.
As women we know better but choose to play the fool knowing there is nothing new under the sun.
Thank God for redemption, things can turn around but you have to do the necessary work.
For those of you who have the blessing of being able to listen/observe and learn from the mistakes of others, know that you have a golden lottery ticket on your hands and you are winning.
To those who are paying the price, please know it is never too late to sow seeds on good ground and reap a bountiful harvest. God is love, love yourself 💖🙏🏾
If you don't appreciate him someone else will cuz he also deserves happiness..
@@lullabysingz6473 that clock running out is a concern for us women.. I just keep reminding myself that I want a family. Growing up with my grandparents helped a lot and some don't have an example of real love.
Mr, Gaskins! I'm praying for this sister! May God show her the right way! Please dear Sister, love yourself! You are worth it! Listen to Mr, Gaskins. He's right!!
She needs to work on her self worth. Because she will ruin that good man because she doesn't know her worth.
A man willing to love you and your child. - TG
People chase people who want nothing to do with them and want nothing to do with the people chasing them.
Very true!
Wow this story is extremely relatable. This was a major confirmation for my soul and spirit. Thank you to the woman who wrote this letter, it made me instantly take action on accountability | Thank you Tony!
Wow!! This came on time!! May God continue to bless u Sir!!
Im having a good laugh listening to Tony!! 😝 😂 but he’s very much so right!! I hate for good men to be taken advantage of, especially when they don’t have any kids and dating someone who does. Good men are hard to come by these days.
I know! I should learn my lesson so many times! I’ll be taking a bite a start choking 😂 “is that climate control?!”
Tony's grandma very accurately spoke LIFE with truth & wisdom in 4 simple words... "Like who likes you!' Wow...Tony...facts, for sure!!! Thank you for the mic 🤣 check, too 🤣
"Like who like you and not who you like" true guidance
All I can say to the woman, with the Good man and the trash acting baby daddy, is the greatest thing that I learned from listening to this channel, is Self Love!!!! In order to tap into that energy you must surrender yourself to greatest Love of all time, the Love of God! Get down on your knees and ask God to Free you from that mental and spiritual bondage. I have been there before. I have been boo boo the fool, ruining back to the very thing God was trying to free me from time and time again. I knew the man didn't love me. However, it was not until I came upon this channel I realized, I didn't love me. I looked inside myself and realized I was validated by God, my one true Love. God has blessed you with a great man, but you will not be able to receive that Love, appreciate that Love into you get aligned with who you are in God.
100%. Felt every word you said here. No greater love than the love we get from God! He truly completes us.
This sounds like a form of trauma bond was formed. Trauma bonds feel like an addiction, they change our body chemistry, so yes reprogramming and being with healthy people essential.
This sums up why women choose the bad boy over a good man.
preach tony preach!!
"Like who like you. Not who you like."
🥰
I have to BLESS you for this MESSAGE!!! You better speak the TRUTH TG!!!
She needs to go through deliverance sessions, dry fast, and pray. Those strong ties are no joke. She has at least one spirit spouse and it's clearly after her marriage before it even begins. She has to get this out now bc the longer it stays, the stronger it grows and it will ruin that union
I think you still showed a lot of compassion.. in fact you could’ve went a little harder. Us women need to wake up a realize these men are playing chess and we ain’t even playing checkers... more like uno.
💯💯
SMH, how you described how this lady is treating her fiance is the same way I feel my sister has treated me...I've done so much for her kids who I love dearly but never get any appreciation.... some random person does something for them once and she cant stop singing their praises...🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️......glad I finally decided to love myself and put myself first.......Tony's review of these letters is therapy for me!!
She has a bad soul tie. She better not lose the good man she has because she likely won’t find another. The pickings are slim out here
We have to STOP seeking approval! This is so real. I understand completely Tony. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
It’s just amazing to have feelings for someone that don’t want you or their own son?! Absolutely sad 🤯💔
This is a education channel!!💯
Yes ma'am. As long as you're here with an open heart and ears to receive. Whew!
@@janieh3950 Amen to that Ma'am ❤
It is. I remember I first used to listen to Tony in 2019 while I was in the car driving 30 minutes to drive past my ex’s house. I have grown up soo much since then.
She has become accustomed to a negative relationship. This ruined her self-esteem because she's now wanting her baby daddy's acknowledgement and to make her relevant.
Please believe these men know when they got you stuck.....ooh weeee !
Mr. Tony. I’m an OG. Got my notes. 📝 and your teachings have changed my relationship life.
@Temekia F what does OG mean. Forgive me for my ignorance?
@@dublingirl1691 it stands for original gangster. ☺️
@@simplymekia1563 Thanks a bunch! 👍🏼
Tony I am already stressed out with this letter. So you mean to tell me this woman found a man who became her fiancé and she still stuck on her deadbeat baby daddy?! I feel she only moved on and rush to prove to him she was worthy to somebody but still want him! She even admits he is a GROWNBOY. It’s the sex! Because it seems like the minute she got pregnant he showed her dust but she want him??! No girl you want the sex and you like to be turned down. Some women need to admit being turned down but turned up for sex is a turn on for them…so he doesn’t treat you good unless you guys are having sex. That is so so so sad to me.
Then when they realize that man who gives them amazing sex don’t want them, they find a random guy they don’t like…know they aren’t sexually compatible but he is nice but no chemistry and wonder why you still have a “soul tie”! STOP SETTLING and stop being D-whipped! It’s not enough D in the world to chase a man for years and years and watch him be with other women and push you to the side. How is that making any woman feel good. To be just a sexual option. Tony I understand why you are stressed…a lot of ladies truly think love is bedroom based and then lost outside the bedroom. If he doesn’t like you when the lights are on and fully clothed let it go!
Amen❤️‼️
You are so right- sex is the root of all these soul ties that people struggle with- keep those legs closed until the wedding night!
This is sad her bd has truly damaged her and brainwashed her that man will never want her just want to come around to see if he still have access to her
Oddly this happens a lot,
Bless your heart young lady, you are battling w/ a person that meant to bring you into reality. I would suggest b4 marrying your fiancé have a long engagement & start your healing.
Lord this was me😔Father God thank You for healing, thank You for growth and Father I'm grateful that I know You. No more settling🙌
Drop.him and move on and leave him alone know your worth
We got to ( ESTEEM)) ourselves !! Take it one step at a time we can do it, by faith.
Great video Tony, I really appreciate you putting out these videos helping out women who didn’t grow up with their dads in the house hold, or probably did and he was passive.
It’s not only women honey. Plenty of engaged men want their ex too!
@@globalgoddess1648 wow you just said something completely new to me.
@@globalgoddess1648 yup
This was comical, graphical and most of all DEEP!!! Tony 👌🏾
I pray that this Queen wakes up because the father of her child is going to destroy her life. She needs to get rid that soul tie and go gray rock on that man. I know it's going to be hard, but I need her to get through this.
Honestly this is the result of hookup culture “just coolin it, we ain’t goin steady” culture…. Smh it sounds crazy but this is really how this comes about. People acting like they together without a title. I feel sorry for sis but just recommend her praying and fasting… God will help her heal. She really needs to come clean though to the fiancé ’ though.
See this letter right here is one of the main reasons, real men are hesitant to date single mothers. And it's sad. But WE are not all the same. Sis, some women out here (myself included) praying for a man like yours. We HAVE to treat people how we would want to be treated.
I don't ever think I have seen Tony pick his mic up and do a mic check. I almost fell out of my chair LOL. Sister, please let him go and love and appreciate you're soon to be husband. Please heal that part of yourself. You deserve love and so does your child.
At this point ladies, please stop saying in your letters, that you have been listening to Mr Gaskins for years, because it's discouraging after reading some of these letters, that the actions and decisions show otherwise, except for the sister that wrote in the other day, that received the round of applause.
I pray she does what she has to do to make her new relationship work, and pray for her son that he doesn't, follow in the footsteps of his grandfather and father because both of them play women.
I've seen this story before, minus the kids. The Bad Boy is never the good choice, 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️. Tony broke it down. Everything that looks good ain't good for you. Go for the Good Guy. 25 years happily married.
Females...sisters....staying off your back works....just be friends and stay off your backs!
Tell the truth and shame the devil!
Woman have to come to terms with the reality that is right in front of their faces.
The truth may hurt, but it shall set you free of delusions! Beloveds.. you must begin to love yourself💯🙏🏾
Omg! THE LIST is back!! And I’m on track 😅😁
I’m glad we’ve been getting this affirmation lesson lately. I need to hear it and implement it.
It’s hard to get a routine of saying affirmations but every time I have, I’ve been blessed by it.
Her story is VERY VERY similar to mine except I had ZERO desire to have my son's father back!!
Watching the second time! I love ur videos Mr Gaskins! Be blessed Sir! Love from the Netherlands!
My mother has always said love who loves you
Can’t help but feel frustrated this was focused only on a woman wanting ex.
I am recently engaged, and have had witnessed my fiancé seeming to want his ex wife. They both have people. It’s not just women.
You totally missed the message.Please watch the video AGAIN in it's ENTIRETY. It has to do with exes, both men AND women.
Nobody said it was just women.. This particular conversation is about a woman..
Keep being real Tony, the REAL is helping many of us to heal. Thank you.🙏
You remained single?....There was no other option, you were pregnant.
Man Tony THIS is the one I needed to here! I should know better but am not doing better! Same situation 🤦🏽♀️
Also she don't need to get married because she's definitely not ready for no husband at all !!!!!!!!!!!!
This makes me want to keep my legs closed even more. I am so glad that I am a virgin. It makes me less engaged in these soul ties and drama, I can watch on the sidelines and learn.
Sounds good. You're missing out on a lot of foolishness.
I ❤ real how raw Tony is. NO sugar coating, the way he paint the actual picture is amazing. I needed to hear this too Tony. Whew lawd the narcissists I have have to deal with 😢
Somebody 🙏🏽 for me
I didnt listen to Tony for over a week cause I felt like I listen to him TOO much. It's nice to be back on a much needed content for foolishness. Look, I struggled with soul ties with toxic disrespectful friends for so long. I had to be BOLD and ask God to severe the relationships for good and He did. When I tell you the end is better than the beginning! It is. Love my new relationship with myself. "Don't try be like no baser" 😄 man I didnt notice I missed Tony til the end of this video.
I don't think U can listen to Uncle Tony too much, I listened to so many videos and still feel like I need some more 🙈
Come thru Tony with the tough love and graphic visuals! Yes, they make the message that much stronger. It sucks that this happens way too often
Sis, please let your Fiance go if you are STUCK on this GROWN-@$$ BOY that doesn't love you or your son and doesn't support you or your son. You said yourself that you were NEVER in a relationship with him. What is the FASCINATION with this "GROWN BOY" that has done NOTHING FOR YOU❓ Please find yourself a GOOD THERAPIST. If you are not improving, you need to find another Therapist. All Therapists aren't created equal. Please also do affirmations to raise your low self-esteem.
Wow... she shouldn't have been dating anyone until she dealt with herself.
Remember...HEAL BEFORE YOU DEAL!❤
Tony you just painted the clearest picture ever
That one time that Bro Tony went all the way in on a woman and told it like it is!!! 💯 Point Blank Periodd helping this sister not miss out on a good man! Straight no chaser…taking no prisoners…no sugar coating!!! It’s rough in these trenches ya hear me!
Y’all messing up the echo system! 😒😓🧐😂
Giving it straight…no chaser. 100% truth🙏🏾
Sista, you done upset bro Tony. Help us Lord! 😩
Even in the Bible it says the heart is evil…our fleshly desires is strong..we can only turn and trust God at this point and lean on his understanding…we don’t always know what’s best for us, but God does. Time to wake up and wise up.
Hey, TG you started the numbers again, I see! 👀 Im caught up Tony! Got them written down in my Tony Gaskins Notebook. 🖌️📘
I have not ever been in a situation like this before and I felt chastised my goodness. You gave her great advice and she needed to hear it straight with no chaser. I hope she wakes up because she may not get another man like this again. Get yo' life!!!! Young Lady, if you see this comment, enroll in Tony's healing mastermind lesson on his academy, it will change you life.
I love your videos, I used to watch them every night always insightful.
Get Yo Life!!! Lord have mercy on humans desiring trash instead of treasure. We’ve got to love ourselves first before we attempt to love anyone else.
Tony you really do god work ,appriciate you,we all do
My therapist about approval, doing what others want and not what we truly want because it makes us feel guilty= good girl gets approval and gets screwed over. Take the guilt and do you. I love approve of myself.
The picture was painted, whew! 💪🏾
Gulp gulp gulp gulp gulp gulp gulp gulp gulp! Tony’s analogies are powerful.
God Blees you,,,,,,,I have to say,,,it's really refreshing to see someone on on utube tats not making fun of someone,,talking about horrific crimes tweaking ect
Therapy, does unpack your emotions. But you need to do more outside of therapy.
The writer must understand that her loving thoughts of the ex is not LOVE. She is confused. Thinking of your ex is NOT CALLED "LOVE"!!!!!
Those thoughts should be, I will be cheated on, disrespected, angry, unloved and etc.. How about this analogy: Don't be a dog returning back to his / her own vomit to digest it!!
Sex ain't better then love. And love and lust are two different things. Congratulations on your engagement.
Yeeeeessss #7!! I still have my list!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Me too SoSo! 🙌🏾