War is their game & Lips Without Teeth | Best of r/HFY | 1942 | Humans are Space Orcs

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 19 вер 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 139

  • @chuckg333
    @chuckg333 Рік тому +362

    Alien race: invades the galaxy
    Human industry: Civilian- *ON ----> OFF*
    War- *OFF ----> ON*
    Everyone: . . . shit just got real

    • @denifnaf5874
      @denifnaf5874 Рік тому +63

      Everything is shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

    • @robertbemis9800
      @robertbemis9800 Рік тому +61

      It’s all fun and games till someone ticks off the murder monkeys

    • @MTF.TAU5..Bob.
      @MTF.TAU5..Bob. Рік тому +29

      @@robertbemis9800 Kids what did we learn?
      Kids: Never to touch the murder monkeys

    • @KewneRain
      @KewneRain Рік тому +11

      That's what happened in WWII in the US, everything was converted to a war economy and supply their troops overseas both the european and pacific theaters. Japan failed to make up its lost heavy industry because the US destroyed it and blocked all imports. Germany failed to make up its losses because it was not only fighting on two fronts, but because it too had been blockaded.

    • @pewpewcricketsalt5574
      @pewpewcricketsalt5574 Рік тому

      Navy

  • @tzman215
    @tzman215 Рік тому +352

    Humanity: I've got a magic trick. Watch as I turn this booming peaceful economy into total war

    • @USS_Grey_Ghost
      @USS_Grey_Ghost Рік тому +26

      Throws a Ball on the floor POOF turns in to a fully armed and armored Soldier

    • @Furzkampfbomber
      @Furzkampfbomber Рік тому +11

      @@USS_Grey_Ghost I use... Humatror! And no, you _really_ don't want to see its second form.

  • @FireLover7004
    @FireLover7004 Рік тому +159

    Human: We come in peace.
    Alien: Peace is for the weak!
    ::Five Hours Later::
    Alien: We come in peace...

    • @brentmartin6833
      @brentmartin6833 Рік тому +21

      Humans: Do you want a "Piece of me?"
      Aliens: I think my translator is broken.
      Aliens after attacking Humans:
      Ouchy..Ouch...

    • @Kualinar
      @Kualinar 6 місяців тому +3

      Alien : Is that «We come in peace» or «We come in pieces» ?

  • @mrmanceres7653
    @mrmanceres7653 Рік тому +127

    New Alien in the galaxy. "O look a defenseless human. I think I shall kill it"
    Every other Alien in the Galaxy " Nooooooo..................."

    • @temporaryalien5573
      @temporaryalien5573 Рік тому +16

      Your going to regret *uncontrollable laughter*

    • @trinalgalaxy5943
      @trinalgalaxy5943 Рік тому +14

      2 seconds later the other aliens look terrified at the spot that alien stood realizing that there are bits of him over there, over there, over there, over there, and over there yet nothing in front of them...

    • @colinayre2109
      @colinayre2109 Рік тому +5

      The peaceful aliens saw that all hostile aliens are the color blew (it’s a pun, roll with it)…a bit of em blew over there, a bit of a head blew over here…

    • @quinnhasse9170
      @quinnhasse9170 Рік тому +4

      @@colinayre2109sane xenos: wait did they just poke the hairless murder apes?
      Other alien: yep.
      Xenis: free space?

  • @wrathshorts2894
    @wrathshorts2894 Рік тому +76

    Humans: Just chillin.
    Invaders: This galaxy is ours.
    Humans: Reject Human. Return to Ork. WAAAAAAAGH!

  • @redraptorx1066
    @redraptorx1066 Рік тому +184

    humans: *fighting each other*
    aliens: *publicly game end a state leader on national TV*
    that one random human: THE GAME HAS CHANGED!

    • @anathardayaldar
      @anathardayaldar Рік тому +32

      They can't do that to our rivals, only WE can do that to our rivals!

    • @leechowning2712
      @leechowning2712 Рік тому +11

      Second wave has begun... Get ready.

    • @Bluesonofman
      @Bluesonofman Рік тому +10

      It's was probly just the city Mayor

    • @MTF.TAU5..Bob.
      @MTF.TAU5..Bob. Рік тому +13

      @@Bluesonofman No one kills the mayor except his citizens 😂

    • @Bluesonofman
      @Bluesonofman Рік тому +6

      @@MTF.TAU5..Bob. If only people did that these days

  • @cloudedarctrooper
    @cloudedarctrooper Рік тому +160

    War is _so much_ our game, that we literally turned it into a somewhat casual form of digital sport-entertainment.
    We literally play games where we're at war with someone, and we like them.

  • @eliandervalderen5849
    @eliandervalderen5849 Рік тому +215

    Two stories about Humanity and their gift for war. I have to admit my favorite part about the second one is that despite being disparaging Against Humanity the so-called allies of humanity never decided to try and take advantage of them even if they were talking about them behind their back.

  • @Maddog3060
    @Maddog3060 Рік тому +41

    Story 1: "So, yeah, that race of apes? We gave them what they always wanted: an outside enemy to focus their homicidal urges upon. Please surrender before they kill us all."
    Story 2: I love the wolf analogy. The rest of the galaxy didn't realize we'd adopted them and this galaxy is our territory now.

  • @zacharyzier314
    @zacharyzier314 Рік тому +62

    The second story is basically: “One should fear the anger of a calm man”

    • @Furzkampfbomber
      @Furzkampfbomber Рік тому +4

      From S6/E7 of Doctor Who, 'When a Good Man Goes to War'
      Madame Kovarian: The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules.
      The Doctor: Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.
      From the same episode:
      Demons run when a good man goes to war
      Night will fall and drown the sun
      When a good man goes to war
      Friendship dies and true love lies
      Night will fall and the dark will rise
      When a good man goes to war
      Demons run, but count the cost
      The battle's won, but the child is lost

  • @ZoruaZorroark
    @ZoruaZorroark Рік тому +46

    nothing like facing a terran battlecruiser that has around 25 100mm rotary auto-cannons firing depleted uranium slugs at around 200rpms per cannon

    • @user-lp3cf5yn5b
      @user-lp3cf5yn5b Рік тому +4

      Spacewarthog!

    • @beingsneaky
      @beingsneaky Рік тому +1

      200 rounds per minute is very very low.

    • @Hellsong89
      @Hellsong89 8 місяців тому +1

      @@beingsneaky Pretty sure he intended to write RPS (Rounds Per Second), but when the more common RPM (Revolutions Per Minute) and slapped S behind

    • @andrewvonlehmden
      @andrewvonlehmden 4 місяці тому

      ​@Hellsong89 TBH, I think he might have ment Revolutions Per Millisecond because he wrote rpms. Either that or he made a typo

  • @rebelord3547
    @rebelord3547 Рік тому +53

    The first story just reminds me of cowboy movies when some dude barges into a bar and everyone goes dead silent and stares at them with murderous intent

  • @SergeyWaytov
    @SergeyWaytov Рік тому +57

    #2 is really fun story, the very essence of "Surprise, mofos!"

  • @ArchonSG1
    @ArchonSG1 Рік тому +75

    Never poke a sleeping dragon

    • @vexile1239
      @vexile1239 Рік тому +4

      🐉👈

    • @additiveartificer9365
      @additiveartificer9365 Рік тому +13

      In this case is a interstellar size wasp hive

    • @LeatherSoup-c5j
      @LeatherSoup-c5j Рік тому +4

      Never dragon a sleeping poke.

    • @barelyasurvivor1257
      @barelyasurvivor1257 Рік тому +6

      Words to live by, but there is always that one party member that goes
      We can take him, after all our 6 levels added together are almost his.
      Oh, they aren't even close?
      Well then hold my ale and watch this!
      Poke, MM, Sleep, Arrow, Monk Strike, Attempted Back Stab!
      Breath attack, 6 thud's, dragon starts to wake up fully, but then rolls over and goes back to sleep, grumbling to itself, darn adventurers are here early this year!
      Mutter grumble, ZZZZZ!

    • @Wastelandman7000
      @Wastelandman7000 Рік тому

      For you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

  • @calvingreene90
    @calvingreene90 Рік тому +73

    When Muffins leaves a deer carcass on the back porch and then wants a belly rub.

  • @YEAHKINDA
    @YEAHKINDA Рік тому +11

    "Hey wanna see a magic trick?" *drops dozens of large cruisers from FTL*
    "That's cool, check my magic trick out" *drops dozens of thousands of fighters out for each cruiser*

  • @vashta_nerada
    @vashta_nerada Рік тому +69

    Hey-o IAmTheHypeTFS here, author for the second story in this video!~ Wasn't able to be there for the premiere of this one unfortunately, but thanks for featuring another one of my stories, I had a lot of fun with this one.

    • @markfergerson2145
      @markfergerson2145 Рік тому +8

      I was reminded of Niven's Kzinti tales. Even a kzin pauses when a human bares his teeth.

  • @usafriptide1719
    @usafriptide1719 Рік тому +12

    In the second story, I would tell the aliens, "Do not to thank your gods, thank our God. For He has more influence on us than your gods ever will."

  • @xenathcytrin202
    @xenathcytrin202 Рік тому +27

    They made the faulty assumption that peace was the path of least resistance. For them, perhaps it was. But for humanity, the path of least resistance has always been straight through anything and anyone standing in our way.

    • @29theduke
      @29theduke Рік тому +4

      Peace is a result of a successful war

    • @quinnhasse9170
      @quinnhasse9170 Рік тому +3

      Nah, the path if least resistance is HE: high explosive.

    • @beingsneaky
      @beingsneaky 8 місяців тому

      Mountain in your way go through it.
      Either tunnel, go over it or knock the mountain down.

  • @robinchwan
    @robinchwan Рік тому +26

    small skirmishes
    humans: 5 more minutes, i need my rest.
    full scale war
    Humans : SIGN ME THE F... UP!

  • @RealArcalian
    @RealArcalian Рік тому +46

    Greetings Mentlegent!
    For the Rhyhtm that is Algo
    Story 1: Yes Xeno, we will educate you on torture and war.
    Story 2: In peacetime, grasshoppers. In wartime, locusts.

  • @captaincalvinist8328
    @captaincalvinist8328 Рік тому +8

    This ep can easily be described as "Aliens find out about the Human Military Industrial Complex."

  • @gorasul12
    @gorasul12 Рік тому +70

    "to remove the armed precense" easier said then done in an American city XD

    • @alexanderblack8852
      @alexanderblack8852 Рік тому +19

      They went for New York, probably easier than other American cities.

    • @gorasul12
      @gorasul12 Рік тому +15

      @@alexanderblack8852 Maybe the alien scouts heard of some new gun law in New York so they thought it would not be many guns left XD

    • @tristanridley1601
      @tristanridley1601 Рік тому

      Six million dead. Sounds like that was the armed presence.

    • @robertalexander5892
      @robertalexander5892 Рік тому +3

      They not only apparently forgot that criminals do not obey the laws, but didn't realize just how many criminals lived in NY.

    • @user-lp3cf5yn5b
      @user-lp3cf5yn5b Рік тому

      They started in New York, if only it had been New Orleans or Chicago the aliens would have packed it in and left in a hurry. We gonna send Mystikal after their ass.

  • @user-lp3cf5yn5b
    @user-lp3cf5yn5b Рік тому +5

    It hearkens back to an old Terran war movie where the trainer of soldiers demands of a recruit to show his war face, and then makes fun of the recruit until he bares his fangs and screams a terrible human howl that would strike fear into the hardiest galactic citizen. They call it Full Metal Jacket.....

  • @ballsacsincorp
    @ballsacsincorp Рік тому +14

    1942, what I consider the year of the turning point of WW2, and it's war. This aint a coincidence

  • @julesmasseffectmusic
    @julesmasseffectmusic Рік тому +5

    We are humanity.
    We want to be humane, but we are fundamentally human.
    Don't learn the difference the hard way.

  • @kurtismiller9544
    @kurtismiller9544 Рік тому +23

    For the Skald and his family....and maybe the algorithm too

  • @johncochran8497
    @johncochran8497 Рік тому +5

    Story 1: An other group of Aliens discover the Geneva Checklist and the consequences of using it.

  • @angrydragonslayer
    @angrydragonslayer Рік тому +63

    No offence but i don't think Hochul can become a martyr for even 20% of humanity

    • @edwarddeguzman3258
      @edwarddeguzman3258 Рік тому +1

      Before the death or enslavement of 10 million humans, I’d probably agree, but if it was after that, then we pretty much rally around anybody

    • @angrydragonslayer
      @angrydragonslayer Рік тому +3

      @@edwarddeguzman3258 well yeah... I guess

    • @artbrann
      @artbrann Рік тому +7

      I give it a pass since it was xeno scum, so they probably included threats about doing the same to women and children

    • @robertstoneking7916
      @robertstoneking7916 Рік тому

      Humans are . . . territorial. "You can't kill him I was gonna kill him, now I'm gonna kill you."

    • @edwarddeguzman3258
      @edwarddeguzman3258 Рік тому +19

      @@robertstoneking7916 “ he may have been an asshole, but he was our asshole”

  • @i2gsurgeon525
    @i2gsurgeon525 Рік тому +6

    That second one was fantastic.

  • @yomogami4561
    @yomogami4561 Рік тому +13

    never wake a sleeping giant

  • @SergeyWaytov
    @SergeyWaytov Рік тому +8

    #1 alien feckheads fecked around and found out

  • @alexmansour100
    @alexmansour100 Рік тому +2

    For a long time I’ve unwittingly imagined HASO and HFY scenarios and made up stories in my, I’m extremely happy I came across your channel

  • @zephyrstrife4668
    @zephyrstrife4668 9 місяців тому

    We are humanity, we love it when others underestimate us... It makes it so much easier to find a weakness in an arrogant enemy.

  • @Iluvantir
    @Iluvantir Рік тому

    I think this old quote covers both stories quite nicely: "I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve."
    The first story: they gave us a common enemy and removed our restraint by committing gross war crimes.
    The second story: outsides came to our galaxy and started to hurt our friends (even if our friends thought us weaklings, they're still OUR friends, goddamnit!)... bad move.

  • @Shadowlordofwolfs
    @Shadowlordofwolfs Рік тому +4

    Nice introduction very cool

  • @rinthewolf
    @rinthewolf Рік тому +4

    Wait.... so our rules of war are just us Nuzlockeing it?

  • @ccrrey6121
    @ccrrey6121 2 місяці тому

    First story missing a ....BANG! at the end

  • @ashardalondragnipurake
    @ashardalondragnipurake Рік тому +4

    2020 makes me doubt humanity can still do war economy

    • @brentmartin6833
      @brentmartin6833 Рік тому +3

      If your talking about the fight against Covid-19, we had too many quislings and or people who didn't understand that it was a fight and there were losses. The US did "fight back" with a short lock down while we got PPE for the front lines and vaccines rolled out in ~a year. Not the best effort we've ever done. Unfortunately it's hard to galvanize people against a enemy that you can't see and doesn't leave exact tell tail signs that it killed them. And we've "co-existed" with others like it.

    • @ashardalondragnipurake
      @ashardalondragnipurake Рік тому

      i think if another major conflict shows up
      the first stress will cause a complete collapse, the complete shattering of the system
      we dont have a society anymore
      if people even know their neighbors they hate them

    • @Wastelandman7000
      @Wastelandman7000 Рік тому +2

      Give us an excuse to fight and you'll find out.

  • @rowbot5555
    @rowbot5555 Рік тому +6

    No greater freind, no feircer foe

  • @Kualinar
    @Kualinar 6 місяців тому

    Humans : You attacked us, toke prisoners and tortured them, and sent other to be slaves. We don't accept that. Now, let me play this card. Throw a UNO reverse card on the table. Xeno : Surprised Pikachu face.
    Second story : Do NOT confuse our desire for peace for weakness. We do love peace. BUT, we are more than capable to wage war... And do it at a moment notice.

  • @allenmorgan1007
    @allenmorgan1007 Рік тому +2

    For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Disembodied Voice!

  • @zyanidwarfare5634
    @zyanidwarfare5634 Рік тому

    Whenever Humanity bares its teeth it goes from lounging in the sun and sipping on a drink, to a bloodthirsty grin on the face of a equally bloodstained soldier, like the march of the Deathkorps of krieg

  • @AlexanderBushi
    @AlexanderBushi Рік тому

    Thanks, Regards

  • @macpurdy
    @macpurdy Рік тому +2

    For the algorithm and the narrator.

  • @SergioMollari
    @SergioMollari Місяць тому

    Humanity at peace: "This peacefulness is boring, but it pays the bills. And remember, no teeth!"
    Invasion happens
    Humanity at war: "Kill 'em all, just the good old days!!!"
    Invasion ends. Humans still out for blood.
    5 years later: humans decide it's time to go back to work. Neighbors decide to leave well the hell enough alone.

  • @elfeater1760
    @elfeater1760 Рік тому +5

    For the Algorithm11!

  • @ritafryer8134
    @ritafryer8134 Рік тому

    Lips without teeth is being friendly, lips and teeth is a very happy smile but beware the teeth with twisted lips a deep down frown and evil looking eyes.

  • @klappstock943
    @klappstock943 Рік тому +2

    For the Algorithm the story and the voice

  • @xxXXRAPXXxx
    @xxXXRAPXXxx Рік тому +5

    Lips Without Teeth I know im horni and all but not only i see this is a story that could be interesting.... right?

  • @dariustiapula
    @dariustiapula 9 місяців тому

    Stellaris Corvette swarm.

  • @jasoncw8854
    @jasoncw8854 7 місяців тому

    im more disappointed in the second story, how the humans didn't reverse engineer galaxy hopping

    • @shipleypennison2781
      @shipleypennison2781 5 місяців тому

      I meannnn… I wouldn’t tell my “allies” about it. Just in case ya know?

  • @adamglover6948
    @adamglover6948 Рік тому +1

    Bump

  • @adphoenix600
    @adphoenix600 Рік тому +1

    the wartime economy has been invented when WW2 had started

    • @snidecommenter7117
      @snidecommenter7117 Рік тому

      The American Civil War had a 'wartime economy'

    • @adphoenix600
      @adphoenix600 Рік тому

      @@snidecommenter7117 ok that is new information that I discovered even the everyone else know it

    • @peterbensilum3211
      @peterbensilum3211 Рік тому

      Bosin war Japan

  • @genericuser984
    @genericuser984 Рік тому +1

    neat

  • @josephineringen7651
    @josephineringen7651 Рік тому +1

    Comment

  • @Hellsong89
    @Hellsong89 Рік тому

    Wait... no this is not humanity i know. They would have put the fleet on the edge for 5 years, so in that time they could develop new weapons and build massive armadas of battleships, super battleships and planet killers, well as next generation FTL enabling them to move to other galaxies in quick succession.... and then finish the job by taking out the treat that still remained, then finally pulling back the fleets and dismantling them to continue the time of peace. Now that is how humanity would have dealt the treat and given proper reason for the other races fear and more over respect them.

  • @merlinwizard1000
    @merlinwizard1000 Рік тому +1

    40th, 5 January 2023

  • @josmeijers2818
    @josmeijers2818 Рік тому

    F.T.A !

  • @ratzelbarreto2070
    @ratzelbarreto2070 Рік тому +7

    For the first story what happened to n.y city is a worrying to all on why 2A is so important.

    • @brentmartin6833
      @brentmartin6833 Рік тому

      The weird thing is the aliens only had to "fight" New York? I assume this is in an alternate reality where City States are still the thing and they didn't have to fight the United States.
      I've heard you don't want to cause trouble in the country due to long guns and hunters. In cities you'll be in trouble for the exact opposite reason. You're now in knife fight/ small arms range (concealment).