INFJ vs ENFJ - Which One Are You?
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- Опубліковано 9 лип 2024
- #infj #enfj #mbti
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Hi I’m an INFJ, and used be great friends with ENFJ. We had so many things in common except that he was more open to extracurricular activities than I was. He was more comfortable to go out and help people, yet sadly no one really gave him that save energy. I would have tried to be there for him more, but I honestly didn’t understand much of myself until now. It’s definitely one of my biggest regrets.
Is it possible to reconcile?
As an enfj guy, I have to ask if it's possible to reignite your friendship.
Honestly, the most depressing times in my life are the ones I've spent alone feeling like I'm the most boring person to spend time with.
Unless you absolutely betrayed that person in a despicable manner, I suggest you reach out.
If an old friend of mine took the initiative to connect with me, I'd feel so happy and proud of myself
Sounds like hes not able to get when he's given. Best thoughts are to give without looking to receive back or dealt back to himself. Or just don't. :) isfj, a, 4w5.
🥺
Most people underestimate how happy an old friend would be at an attempt at reconciliation
I love how the INTJ becomes the vilian of comparison, thanks.
INTJ's have been the number one type that has really helped me be a better person, whereas I am usually the one helping EVERYONE else. Love and gratitude for INTJ's!
Heros to me.
(ENFJ)
ENFJ are naturally optimistic that’s why
Your are evil by nature. Haven't you seen all of those evil mastermind movies???
@@beingSabra that’s how I got to this video , I came across an ENFJ and she loves me like no one else can . It’s refreshing to be understood.
I mean if INTJs insist on seeing it that way, why should we contradict them after all?
4:10 -- 4:28 "extraverted feeling is a tool", ... "not something implicitly valued...." Excellent.
INFJ diabolicity.
Yes yes yes
Extraverted feeling drains me and makes me feel like a dang servant.
-INTP
I see it as a tool but I am pretty sure I am ENFJ
It's always funny to see my INFJ coworker get overwhelmed. Actually, it isn't funny. I feel bad for her. But it's cute to watch as she scrambles around, trying to get everything together. She carries an agenda around all the time, and it hurts my brain trying to comprehend how she's able to get so much done in a month. INFJs really do excel when given time to plan.
And it's true; she can seem quite cold at times, especially when accomplishing routine tasks. She's so sympathetic, yet she talks to people like a darn robot. My mom, an ENFJ, is the opposite. She talks to people with EXPLOSIONS of emotion. Everything the other person says seems to be met with, "Oh, my gosh!"
Sounds mean AF but as an ENFJ I’ve had to admit that I love and appreciate the friends that come to me and show me love and attention a lot more than those who I just “know” like and love me :/ it’s sad because it finally hit me why they struggle so much. Their feelings are as real and as deep as mine, but because the expression is so limited it’s hard for me to truly feel it with my INFJ friend and my INFJ ex. But I guess it’s good to know what I like 👍🏻
Great video as usual! As an ENFJ, over the years I've developed the ability to go into logic mode and risk confrontation to speak truths that I think are important or to speak up for myself. These things definitely take a conscious effort, but I've discovered that it is essential for longterm success in relationships. It also helps me weed out the toxic people in my life. I love to help people, but I've learned to accept that some people are beyond my help. It's been a very freeing realization.
Don't know you, but I'm proud of you! 🥳 I'm glad you're at a place where you can defend yourself and your needs. I always felt bad that ENFJs are considered "doormats" and can easily feel used by people. -INTJ
Yayy!! 👏🏻You’re going to have such a more balanced existence. Keep the boundary-less away too. Saying things “as they are”, versus couching them in overdone graciousness is more efficient and expends less energy, too.☺️
@@BombshElle_7 having good friends that are INTJ’s have helped me hone these skills and I’m so grateful!
@@BombshElle_7 Thanks for the support and encouragement! I played the part of pushover for several years in a toxic relationship. After which, I did a lot of unpacking and soul searching and came away with the resolve that I would not repeat the same mistake, and I learned that standing up for myself is healthy and in fact essential. I'm much happier and much more confident now. I encourage other ENFJ's to take some time for serious self reflection and learn to make your aim about making yourself and your relationships the healthiest they can be rather than making it all about keeping others "happy".
@@JimmieCNote FACTS 💪🏽
I would like to add several things that people might find helpful. ENFJs tend to engage first, reflect second, while INFJs need to observe first and decide to engage (or, not) in a given situation based on that observation. Here is an example that illustrates the difference between dominant Fe (ENFJ) vs auxiliary Fe (INFJ) which is based on finding a pattern in behavior shown in more than one situation. My best friend, who is an ENFJ, builds connections with people immediately. If she sees a dog, a cute child,… she simply goes over to talk, hug, or engage in a social interaction that blurs limits/barriers. While I (INFJ) tend to be aware and respectful of certain social protocols and barriers that most of us have, so such an interaction from me would be highly unusual. I need to ‘read the room’ before engaging in any social situation.
I was an INFJ then became an ENFJ. Funny how experiences in life change a person. I take it as a positive to become more extraverted now ❤
@@rolanddc.3421Is not possible to change your type 😂
@@hectorpikipiki wdym its not possible. It literally changes depending on the mind set you took the test. lmao do some research.
@@rolanddc.3421 😂
@@rolanddc.3421uh...
It's really weird my sister and I are an ENFJ and an INFJ. We feel like the same picture colored differently. Similar biology, similar upbringing, similar personality. We have fun comparing and contrasting ourselves all the time.
However, I now realize it was backwards from what I thought 🤔
Same with my sister and me.
This is the best thumbnail I have ever seen
INFJ here. I’ll give a typical example of dealing with performance anxiety by planning. I was invited to a barbecue party. I checked the weather forecast two times. I called my friend (the host) to ask about alternatives in case of rain (quietly hoping for rain as a way out) and to discuss what should I bring to eat with me. I was definitely not satisfied with vague answers and thought about this for a day and further discussed it with my husband. During the party I talked with a group of people for about an hour but then I HAD TO go and sit on a swing and just look at the sky because I got tired of all those interactions. The rest of the party I’ve spent barbecuing myself, drinking wine and talking occasionally to people I was serving food. The hosts asked me several times if I wanted a brake but I was perfectly fine with it. I had fun.
"Quietly hoping for rain" 100% relate 🤣
"And quietly hoping for rain as a way out"...story of my social life, hahaha! (INFJ)
It's funny how whenever we want it to rain, it's clear skies for days, but when we actually want to go out and do something, that's when the weather goes out of it's way to wreck our plans😂
I definitely agree with your assessment of the INFJ and our use of Fe and Ti.
Since Ni is my main function, it's not something I can "turn off" - it's basically autopilot - but with Fe, I feel like I can "switch gears" to "Ti-mode" sometimes (2nd and 3rd gear if you will).
I also think it's what allows us to do the dreaded "doorslam": eventually our empathy is just not going to cut it, and if we don't see a future with a person, we might switch to Ti-mode, and unapologetically slam the door.
I think an ENFJ would have a harder time slamming the door in the same way and being that "cold" towards someone, since their Fe is in autopilot. ENFJs can feel free to correct me in the comments though.
Good and interesting video as always Nathan!
Ah! Wouldn't it be nice if we could switch off/on all our cognitive functions? I'd switch off my dom Ni for a little while, and let Te take over so I can get things done speedily. -INTJ
@@BombshElle_7 Ni on/off switch could come in such a use for Ni doms. It's an amazing function, but bloody hell it's a pain in the ass sometimes. I'm basically playing staring contest with the Abyss at this point.
@@OneNamelessHero Wow. Idk if I should applaud or feel bad for you? It sounds painful.
@@OneNamelessHero
Ah yes, Hello Darkness my Old Friend.
Peek-a-boo!
In all seriousness, I definitely relate to what you're saying here. It'd be good to just Not follow the Pattern to its conclusion sometimes.
@@JokerCrowe Thanks. Yeah, I'm already practicing thought stopping, helps a bunch :)
I am an ENFJ who discovered I operate like an INFJ when I am in an unhealthy state of mind. In university I studied abroad and our professors introduced us to a lot of internal reflection work, we were 21 students from all over, but mostly from under the Western umbrella of the world, we ended up saying that we had to adapt more to each other than to the Middle East. Understanding each other’s mode of operation changed not only how we interacted with each other, but the world (we had more mercy on each other amongst very different personalities). It also made us reflect on whether we operated as healthy versions of ourselves or unhealthy versions. I am a 3 on the enneagram and 3s in their detriment act like unhealthy 9s. I realized I spent a large portion of my life operating entirely burnt out and unhealthy because I thought I was an introvert (that is what my parents called me my whole life), and that it was okay for me to be alone any second I could get. In reality, my body and mind were trying to recover from over exhaustion I was putting myself through. I am truly happiest when I’m thrown into chaos and going to the party and expressing my ideas. I connected my INFJ-ness to the reclusive, slower moving, non-confrontational 9 on the enneagram, it’s not me when I’m healthy.
I find whenever I go back home, I want to talk to people less and get away from everyone and be on my own, I’ve learned it’s a place that is very hard for me to be the best version of myself in, and my mother even last week said, “oh, it’s just cause your an introvert” 😂😂😂 It’s fine, I’ll let her keep thinking that, as I run away from my home town in the RV I just bought 🎉🤠
But also infj are the most extroverted introverts. We are more inclined and better at socialization when we are healthy, and often neglect self-care, which leads to needing to us withdrawing from interaction to focus on feeling better. This was why I thought I was an unhealthy extrovert for a long time. For me, the time I take to care for myself and recharge is for the purpose of socialization. If I could interact with others without having to care for myself, there are many times I would choose that. I think that might be something both types have in common, due to our high extroverted feeling or Fe
What a great realization. As an enfj most people who I don’t feel comfortable with think I’m shy and introverted, too.
this was insightful. I bounce between INFJ and ENFJ, and it's always close to 50%. I'm going to take a step back and try to determine which environments are healthiest for me.
ENFJ. Not a lot of effort to keep stuff together, pretty organized easily. I don't love chaos, but I can absolutely give you your pictures in under an hour. 🤣
But, if put into a chaotic situation, you'd do far better than an INFJ. 👍🏼
The most terrible chaos my ENFJ mother has to deal with is backing up photos from her phone.
@@CaveyMoth omg same, it took me like a week to back up all my photos. like thousands of important photos. I had to create so many private group chats because it's too slow to upload on cloud storages. and I faced problems with those cloud storages. lol
@@GQ-tf6pd I got my mom a USB drive that plugs into her phone and her laptop, and I keep trying to teach her how to transfer files onto and off of it. It seems so simple to me, but she keeps forgetting how it works. It seems like extraverted types like to be guided through stuff like this, whereas I would be like, "Leave me alone. I'll get this working." But I am savior Ti, after all...
@@CaveyMoth that's so sweet of you to help her out, I hope she applies what you're teaching her 💗
I also got myself a usb but I got scammed lol. I suddenly couldn't find all the files I transferred onto it. fortunately, it's only fashion screenshots. [but some of them were really important 😭] I saw it coming but I still fell for it. it was the 2TB scam. is this the curse of inferior ti? anyways, what type are you?
Yess I was waiting for this video, thank you! 100% INFJ. Oddly enough I enjoy performing (in small quantities) but it's strange given how anxious it makes me simultaneously... Planning for it indeed helps a lot. Also, my sister told me once I give off INTJ vibes from time to time. 🙃
INFJ interested in theatre here. I agree, I don't mind being on stage, but that's only when I've had a lot of time to prepare, plan, and I feel like I'm in control of the situation. Plus, it gets easier for me every time, and it's a good way to 'stay in the Moment', even if it's only for a short time. :)
Might I recommend an improv class? Or maybe UA-cam videos on improvisation. We're extremely capable of growth and adaptation. But don't think too much on it. Just search and click, think later.
It me! An ENFJ! To the club I go! Untz..untz…untz… 💕
Jokes aside, definitely aware to see if I’m ever taken advantage of cause of my kind heart. 🥺🙇🏻♀️
For enfjs, Ti related tasks could be a source of insecurity, where they tend to find reassurance from the people around. I observed this from enfjs I know. Guess Infjs don’t need to struggle there.
can you give some examples of "Ti related tasks"
Yeahh, my mom is very bad with electronics and things that involve "personal time." I imagine that it must feel selfish to her to enjoy time alone and perform tasks that benefit no one else; Just as I think it's torture to spend time with people. As an INTP, we have our first and last functions mirrored, so I can understand how it feels.
Can confirm: ENFJ, went to a fancy college, and spent all my time there feeling pretty insecure about my abilities compared to my classmates. Looking back, that wasn't being entirely fair to myself, but nevertheless I do think it drove me to learn more and retain it better than many of my better-equipped peers.
Ooh goodness kinda feel called out but this is so true. As an INFJ, I've had to work hard to create distance after accidentally drawing people in too close while trying to learn from them. But then I feel genuine empathy for them, typically. This is because I genuinely care for people and want them to be healthy and happy, but I don't want to let them in close. I just want to learn and use the gained knowledge to help them and others, and they think I'm in love because learning animates me. It's more of a facination than adoration. Typical interactions with random people:
"This is amazing. People are amazing! I love that you are capable of this! Wait, now you are hugging me... OK yes, I think I like you too. OK but not the touchy touchy... Please no the touching! Where have your hands even been? No no no not touchy the face!! *runs away*"
I have tears thinking about it now! but no please don't see my tears as a sign to hug me! Unless you are one of MY people. In that case, please hug me without giving me time to overthink or decline the offer because I'm actually melty at the very core past the tough middle layer (shh don't tell the others)
INFJ here. I still get so confused when Nathan mentions INFJs not being good at organizing. I've always loved it and seen it as an important part of planning and coming up with ideas. To find the best way things should be put, to come up with new ways that haven't been done, rewriting to make something fit in a story, checking to ensure things work chronologically. I think Ni-Ti pushes for consistency in planning. It's not as much maintainence as it is coherency and appreciation of our craft. To rearrange things in a manner that is pleasing, achieves my plans, and engages my mind.
That's interesting. But it shows that even if one is a certain "type", we are still different as people and no person ticks exactly all the boxes, all the time. As for organising, I'd say as a fellow INFJ, I'm fantastic at organised chaos.....😂
I think it was more about them not being good at organizing on the spot and super quickly. When it comes to planning and organizing, given enough time to be thorough, INFJs win. From what you described, you enjoy and are good at a process that takes quite a bit of time and deliberation.
@@RCAnderson42 I'll organize on the spot, no problem. I just spend however much time I like. I want to enjoy it and nake it a genuine effort.
What he is describing is when you have have organized a plan, and then something outside your control causes the plan to change and you have a limited about of time to adapt and restructure the plan. To give an example I run, and I had a cross country meet yesterday, and was given an approximate time for the race to start. I created an organized plan to do before the race started, but then they made the time an hour early, meaning that we only had 15 min to for a plan to prepare for the race and do everything we could to be prepared. I about had a heart attack, and forget to take what normally helps me for the run in all the chaos. It’s panic when we don’t have to time to create the best possible plan for a situation
For me, I also think i am very good at organizing. I create systems that i usually dont change. It helps me do things more easily and prevent me from forgetting things.
But when someone else (an external factor) affects my system. It becomes hard for me to keep adapting and maintain the system, and i end up seeming more unorganized overtime.
I often make system and such and have ideas how things should be organized, but I dont make the active effort to implement them so often. It often just going in all in or not.
Which to me would make sense, Ni-Ti being better at figuring ways to organizing and more inflexible with their ways. ENFJ would be better at implementing them more often with Se making them more adaptable and flexible, bringing changes to their organizations when needed.
OMG this is scarily accurate. My mom is ENFJ while I'm INFJ and literally (and i mean *literally* literally) everything you said is so freaking spot on lmao
INTJ ● used to think I was INFJ, I like to deeply analyze people... turns out I just like analyzing in general, and understanding people is *beneficial* when emotions are confusing (even chaotic to witness)
How do you know you were not an infj?
@@emss8590 I used to think about that question, too. So I looked up the cognitive stack and functions of INFJs to see if it best described me. Fe is their auxiliary function. When I studied Fe (a people-centric function) I immediately knew I was an INTJ. I like people but I will never trust them. Their behavior is illogical if not appalling. Plus, I don't have an emotional need to associate or appease anyone. All of that is my tertiary Fi talking. Because society doesn't live up to my core values, I keep distance from it. This is not something anyone with Fe would do. That's one way I knew I was NOT an INFJ.
@@BombshElle_7 exactly... for me, when people act very emotional, it can get really unsettling. Especially if their actions go against logic. I was approached by a coworker (specialized in mbti) who asked if I was INTJ like them. Yup, even if it's not the easiest type for a female to be in our current society. In fact, sometimes it's extremely confusing. I like to observe people and situations to understand why they do things and identify trends, especially when there isn't a logical reason for for actions. It makes "emotions" less confusing
@@fortune_roses You clearly have higher EQ than me. I observe and observe some more, and I still don't get people.
This was so good Nathan. I nodded through the whole thing. I think this may be the first time I feel a non-ENFJ really could see us. My number one bestie type is INFJ’s and even though they are not here right now, I feel that they would similarly concur. ;-]
Thank you for an accurate description of intuitive feelers! Kind of rare.
Is no one going to comment about the thumbnail?? Alright...
🥳🎉🤗🎊 CONGRATULATIONS Nathan! I've been around for quite some time and I have to say that I've NEVER been disappointed by ANY of your content.🏆 Honestly, thank you for sharing your knowledge with us.
Your ways are unique and very much appreciated. It's been quite the adventure to 100K and I'm looking forward to the 1M mark in the very near future, sir. 🥳💐
Great work! You really nailed down what the differences between these two types are. I’m an ENFJ with many close friends being typed INFJ. They and ENFPs are typically along my favorite type of people. Can you do ENFJ vs. ESFJ in the future? I’ve yet to find a good video on that one.
INFJ here. I only realized how cold and detached i can be when i met ENFJs. Warmer than the sun itself. I still think we are hard core romantics and our true warmth is hidden from people, especially ourselves. Plus, I couldn't agree more with the use of Fe as a way to a mean and also with the feelings of being caught in a limbo between F and T types.
I am not sure if i agree with the use of the first word "Organisation" though. What Nathan said is true, but i think Infj's are generally better at organising and enfjs are better at performing even without so much organisation. Enfjs can come up with a plan faster than Infjs and start doing what needs to be done, but then infjs will see the logical inconsistencies and make it better, if time is provided... but i understand that the inferior Se and blindspot Te makes us look like a mess sometimes... we can freeze in anxiety and feel unable to move, like an Infp (Te inf. and blind Se).
I’m an ENFJ and I love your videos. Thank you for making another ENFJ one❤️
Infjs blur the line between thinkers and feelers, YES, you must be an INFJ to know that.
Great video, I really enjoyed this one. I am an INFJ and I am actually married to an ENFJ. We are truly very similar and it's been fascinating seeing how we are similar, and exactly how we are different. I know this would not be a great "recipe for success" for all couples, but it really works for us. Thank you for this video - very informative!
I am an INFJ married to an ENFJ and find he is my soul mate. I married for the first time when I was 67, and had maybe 10 serious boyfriends before marrying. My ENFJ is SO much more compatible with me than anyone else. I cannot imagine what personality could be better.
@@JustinPeters What is said about ENFJ and INFJ being incompatible. I am an INFJ married to an ENFJ and wonder what could possibly go wrong.
I’m watching this solely because of the thumbnail. Beautiful work lol
ENFJ here. Yes, INFJs can stop speaking to you, and never contact you anymore, even though you did absolutely nothing wrong, and they looked like they want to hang out in the future. We ENFJ's at least say to the person what we don't like and why we don't want to be in contact anymore.
Yea, it’s something we (INFJs) should all work on because it’s really quite mean. That said, I’ve done it way too much, as well. It’s a massive flaw that I really need to work on. I’ll get on that if this pandemic ever ends. Until then, I’m just chillin’ at home and connecting with self and nature.
Infj's have limited energy and patience. They choose ppl who fulfill a purpose to be in their lives. There are finite slots available. It sounds mercenary but we don't deliberately do this it's just how we are. 99% of the time we never cut someone out of our life if "they did absolutely nothing wrong" , that person definitely crossed an line (even if other person didn't see the line in the sand). And we don't have the energy to explain it either. Honestly infj's are mostly so kind, caring, sympathetic etc but also can also be very cold and detached if the switch gets flicked. It's not nice but it is what it is. We don't want to be like this but we are built this way.
@@marianney7644 I can assure you 1000% that I haven't crossed any line with any INFJ, especially me being ENFJ. Maybe I crossed the line in opposite way that I was too polite and kind as a man and INFJ women didn't take is as enough masculine to be attractive for them. I was emotionally abused by ESTP narcissistic woman, I know exactly what crossing lines look like. Anyway, thanks for explaining.
@@jane1891 Its not a flaw, it's a solid method of protecting ourselves and loved ones. Telling someone your issues with them/the relationship will cause drama if they are a bad person. We like to play it safe and avoid conflict with everyone, good and bad. It's better to assume the worst, it keeps us safe you know... probably the best strategy we have.
lazy pea - you’re 100% correct! The only people who are in my personal sphere are the people who I know so well and love so much, who love and respect me back. I know I can say what I need. They won’t twist it and turn it into a thing it’s not. We’re on the same page. We simply don’t do the psychological games. We’re a good mix of personalities and we all keep each other in check.
That said, I still feel a little bad for dropping some people in my past, the ways I did. And with THAT being said, though, you’re still more correct, because I had four little kids during those times and I had no time or energy for their weird games. So, I suppose you’ve mostly changed my mind. But I still feel a little bad, for making them feel bad😂
I am always quite surprised when INFJs are described as warm or caring or all they want to do this help others. As a long-time INFJ (tested 5+ times in span of 10+ years), I find this to be false. I can appear distant or detached, and often times, I'm asked by people close to me if I care about them (I do). In my lens, INFJs are not interactors as much as they are observers.
@jessica Definitely. I agree that many INFJ descriptions were not written by INFJ's or people who know INFJ's first hand.
I love the part where you say extraverted feeling is not the aim for infjs. I'm an infj and since I leaned more into Ti and balanced my Fe and learned boundaries, every rose-colored picture of an infj just wanting to help people all the time is the least relatable thing to me. I appreciate environments where people can just do their thing and no conflict can arise. I mostly just want to be left alone to do my own stuff.
I am the same. As an INFJ, I used to be more accomodating of people, wanting to help them, and attracting narcissists in the process. Ever since I've leaned more towards my Ti, I have an easier time just accepting that some people aren't just worth the time and its ok to do your own thing and not seek validation from others. I can honestly come across as a cold intellectual if I don't use my Fe and I'm perfectly fine not interacting with people my Ni tells me not to. However, with close relationships, I am rather passionate and caring.
Great video, it helped me clarify my own type a lot (INFJ). I’ve been in a great place mentally/emotionally recently, and it’s allowed me to use my Se in a healthier way. I was starting to wonder if I was actually just an ENFJ who was only beginning to use their tertiary Se, but I can see now I’m just growing as an individual.
Nice thumbnail
As usual, very clear and concise presentation - love Ti 💓🙌🏻. Agree with pretty much everything, especially the planning/impulsive and in the moment dichotomy.
My best friend is an Enfj, here are some things I noticed about her vs me (infj).
Not only has she got more energy for socializing, but she is more invested in social issues. She’s an activist for many things, as opposed to me - I am interested in human systems in a more abstract, detached and theoretical way, in an observer way. She goes out and marches for stuff, I ponder the “why”s from the sidelines.
She’s also quicker to judge people, because, well, she’s a judger. I am very good at summing up people in a few words, describing their essence, and in general I am more accepting towards people, almost in a philosophical way. She’s got a bit of an “us vs them” attitude - and if you don’t share the same world views, she’s quick to dismiss you. I am curious about people with different views than mine, like I said before, because I like to get to the why’s. I remember I used to make her laugh in college because I had this way of assessing unpleasant people: “yeah, they are idiots.” And then, after a beat: “But they have got a soul, too”. She would always be surprised by the second part and laugh.
The upside of being a judger is that she’s has always known more clearly what she wanted in life. She’s more decisive in career and other things, doesn’t second guess herself every other day like me.
I also noticed she struggles with logic more than me, and she is very impressed with Ti, even in its basic forms, which is very funny.
She’s also has more trouble than me detaching from people and holds on to past hurts more. She’s basically a collector of people, whereas I let go of relationships that have run their course more easily.
I'm an Enfj, I can see why I come off judgmental. I'm much more vocal with whatever comes to my mind than my Infj friend.
The thing is I'm not afraid to openly discuss these opinion and then change my mind. I don't hold peoples words against them, sure I might not agree and can be vocal about it but thats it. Maybe I expect people to be equally as tolerant.
I've notice my Infj friend is much more gentle on the outside but bottle things up and explode later, and then you hear what she really have thought of you all along. Maybe that's one of the reason my friend likes to keep people at a distance to avoid confontation.
The Ti inferior is a struggle, guess it's hard for me to be an idealist and also equally rational haha
ENFJ: talks to everyone on a party, avoids talking about problems, gets emotional easily and shows it, very cheerful, loves Disney movies and happy endings, dog person, loves concerts, dominant character, doesn't question things, not really sensible, wants to be the hero and to be loved
INFJ: talking to that one person at a party, loves meaningful, conversations, can easily talk about problems, likes dramas (movie type), cat person, needs alone time, not dominant at all, questions things, sensible, wants to be understood and respected
(INFJ with a ten years+ friendship with ENFJ)
How is it possible that I identify with all of that…? 🤦🏼♀️ I’ve tested ENFJ for years, but now INFJ. Yet I could always go back and forth between the two. I’m 55% I 45% E now. But I can definitely tell you I don’t fit well with any other personalities.
this is so great. looking forward to more of this series!
Excellent video as always, thank you Nathan 😊
Great insightful points, thank You 😊
congrats for 100k!
I always tested as an INFJ for 3 years, but in the last year and a half I’ve became much more extraverted and more in tune with Fe and Se. My Ni and Ti are still very strong though, and I value them more than Fe and Se on a daily basis. I went to a big university where partying is a big thing, and I feel like I adapted and changed a lot because of that. I like to be around people more and go out to clubs/parties, which is not how I used to be. The last time I took the mbti test I tested as an ENFJ, but I’m still not sure. I’m definitely more spontaneous and good at organizing things or adapting quickly than most INFJS. However, I still need to be alone in order to recharge pretty often, but it’s a shorter span than before. I also have INTJ tendencies sometimes, such as being kind of cold or distant from people. My Fe is something I’ve learned to turn on and off, and sometimes I prefer using Ti over that. Maybe I’m just an extroverted INFJ
This has strongly confirmed that I'm an INFJ. Thank you very much for this informative video.
I love how articulate you are....and how you pay attention to detail.
The first point is hilarious because I just made a post on LinkedIn about not knowing where to start on a project and that it's important to find the right place to start and do things in the right order to be productive
This was the most helpful, yet concise video I’ve seen on this dyad thus far-thank you:)
This was such a helpful video, I'm an infj, but my partner thought I was potentially an enfj because of how good I can be in social situations and I'm a lot more extraverted and social than he is (he is an intp though). This video explains it so much better than I did! I love the exemplar test regarding getting them to do something in an hour vs a month, I really struggle under pressure but go above and beyond when given the time, so it was a clear which one I actually am, even just from that!
This was incredibly helpful. Thank you.
Congrats for 100k
Great video :)
Yay, another ENFJ video! Thanks Nathan! :)
I initially thought that I'm a matured/developed INFJ since I'm getting almost 50/50 intro-extroverted ( a little more introverted at times) and perfectly relates to both types. But this might have answered it. I'm an ENFJ after all.
Yo congrats for 100K
I love your accurate explanations 😍 (and those eyebrows 😍)
This is kind of helpful. I have been typed ENFJ from tons of people now who know typology, but my INFP friend told me I was definitely an INFJ with how I manifest things and call them years in advance. I am great at social situations, but they drain the hell out of me. I do not remotely get off with tons of people around me like my ENFJ friends and relatives. It’s taxing. But I don’t know if I could be confused for an INTJ just b/c I don’t know that I know any. I’m an intellectual, so maybe. But I can also work a crowd when need be b/c I had to take acting classes growing up. I’m detached from most things even though I don’t appear as such. So it’s confusing
infj. the things that I love the most are actually things in which I can dive in without knowing what to expect. this is what I learned. it is unbelievably true for me, I feel like I never even consider a course of events that are outside my mental schemes but they're the most satisfying ones.
also I really wish I could avoid the social draining and the sensory overload because I find it almost as hindrance
great video!!
Wow! Very accurate. Thanks👍
You do an amazing job at describing this 👏👏👏
Thank you this helped immensely.
Another AMAZING thumbnail! Nathan, I swear you should be putting these on every kind of merch. Please offer versions without the mbti acronyms for those of us who like wearing intriguing t-shirts no one will understand!!!
I've definitely ruled out ENFJ now. 😆 Thanks for this video.
Incredibly accurate and so interesting! You've just described the differences between myself and my sister perfectly. She's ENFJ and I'm INFJ.
Love the thumbnail!
Stumbling upon a car accident, is a crisis I can handle, mailing a letter, on the other hand, I struggle with. Also, with regard to how we deliver an outstanding “product”, to be so presumptuous to assume this to be a promise of “future delights”, is a miscalculation/misunderstanding on the part of whomever forms the expectation. It is as natural to an INFJ/ENFJ to be whatever I we are, as it is for the other person not to be, and although most of us recognize, after years of reflection, that it is objectively, unusual, it may require some logical reflection on behalf of the other person, such as: “Why would this person care so much about ME? How does this benefit them? Are they this way with other people? I shall observe…” there’s always that option, rather than assuming “wow, all this for little ole’ me??? I must be AMAZING!! I shall focus only on how this must be a reflection upon how amazing I am, and completely ignore all other possibilities cuz I like feeling like I’m just inherently amazing without having to lift a finger”
This is arguably the BEST thumbnail I have ever seen.
Very informative, waiting for INFJ vs ISFJ
Congrats on the 100k! Your channel is thoughtful and funny and deserves it :)
Needing some guidance as I eternally vacillate between ENFP and ENTP for myself...
Your videos are so helpful for me it's incredible. I believe that I would never mistake my ENFJ people for INFJ or vice versa. But just the way you show these different aspects and oh my how you are able to put it into words..!!! Your remarks spark so many memories i rich detail. I can now understand them so much better and I can see how I will translate these insights into new behavior in future situations. Thank you, God bless.
Love the cover picture!
I'm usually an INFJ, but I definitely switch between the two given the situation.
Good comparisons! The personal comparison that comes to mind, is myself vs. my former ENFJ counseling prof. Ellie. I definitely get overwhelmed w/ organizing. I get it done well, but it's stressful for me. As for point 2, I've always struggled being put on the spot. Whether it's an improvised musical performance, or anything I didn't get to mentally prep for beforehand. The more prep time the better. As for Fe, it is more of a tool for me. I use it to be sociable at work, or w/ people I enjoy. However, I can also be a loner that comes off as cold. As for social energy, Ellie's way more consistent when it comes to engaging w/ others. I'm inconsistent & very picky w/ who or what I spend my energy on.
Thank you for clearing this up. I've suspected myself as an ENFJ, but I wasn't sure. Now I know that I am. 😊
Thank you. ❤️
2:41 yesss i am sure that i am an enfj and as a judger i used to be confused about my preference for spontaneity (i even got esfp on 16p haha too much reliance on Se?)
and now i'm in the midst of procrastinating again because i know i can whip sth up on the spot haha
Oh and congrats on 100k B)
The one you told in the part of "organisation" is true specially "about what you are good at" part
you reassured me. I did the test a few times in English and German. I was switching from INFJ to ENFJ which I found very weird. But now I know I'm an ENFJ.
Good video. I am an ENFJ with masculine Ni and masculine TI according to Dave power system so people will often think I'm introverted. One of the big differences between myself and my infj friends is our blind spot functions. Si is incredibly tedious and annoying for me. I constantly skip over directions and steps during processes. Physical objects in the memories that they could whole have very little meaning for me. On the other hand, my infj friends tend to fetishize their Se and so it appears that they have good Si as well. They Place incredibly High emphasis on the physical manifestation of their Ni vision. I find that there are many infj women on UA-cam who do fashion channels for this reason. On the other hand, INFJs seem to have a time putting their plans into definite action. Their blindspot Te is obvious even when they enter a room by the calmness they exhude. My tertiary Se makes me much better about actually making my plans a reality.
Holy cow do all INFJs fetishize Se?!?
@@RCAnderson42 I think we all fetishize are inferior function :-) I know now I do it with my Ti. it's embarrassing when you see it!
@@morningstarhomestead so interesting.. I've definitely heard that, but I think I'm a lil more averse to my Ti than I am in awe of it. I could be a bit blind to it though!
The entire part about adaption to situations and dealing with chaos really stuck out to me,id say im good in adapting to sudden changes in a plan and can be rather easy going about them,but during debates like MUNs i get overwhelmed easily and start to panic.Debating has always been my weak point i dont know if it is because of inf ti or inf si.Debates always overwhelmed me because of the extremely sudden changes and fast pace .Im still trying to figure out my type and this video helped me quite a lot.Thankyou lovewho!!
I saw the thumbnail and I just...
Memento Mori.
I would say that this was a good try hehe. Good luck to anyone who is trying to figure out if they are ENFJ or INFJ, and have fun 😊
Excellent video and yes 100% accurate. My husband is ENFJ, my bestie INFJ. This explained some of their differences perfectly.
on a lighter note, CONGRATS ON 100K~
Great video Nathan, I had a lot of Aha-moments watching it! Sometimes it seems like introverts are at a disadvantage in our current society, because social interaction drains them. Would you say that being alone drains extroverts in a similar way, or is it not as extreme of an opposite?
It's equally draining for extroverts to not get their social fix, it really depends on their level of extroversion though. ENFPs do pretty well alone 👍
Loving the thumb nail
The "extraverted feeling is a means to an end, not the goal itself" had me
so i've only recently found that i'm an infj instead of an intj. it was all the interest in people that finally tipped me over. but i'm still learning all this stuff and its all so fascinating. the way people always are. i mean you could study them to learn their type sure, but then each person even in the same type group is endlessly different in subtle small ways. i love that.
I'm an isfp and I literally have to clean up after my infj girlfriend all the time, she just drinks writes sleeps and then repeats. Also I never let her decorate or arrange rooms because it ends up feeling like a dungeon or an unlived in box lol
thinker feeler and detached sounds familiar !
Currently dealing with seven activities and I'm already struggling which one to finish first. Took me two hours to finish the second activity rather than the first (which I purposely left).
These questions show that I'm totally introverted. But way too often I find myself in the centre of the room leading ppl and speaking up for them. I'm lost 😭😢
So I’ve been attempting to sort this very question out and this video was really, really helpful (thanks Nathan!) I’d like to add, if I may, a few additional points if you’re struggling with this as well:
*How/who were you as a child? Were you shy and reserved or did you enjoy being at school, around lots of people, etc.?
*How do you actually feel out at events, restaurants, parties, etc? Not how are you trying to balance the social equilibrium/comfort others/etc. How do YOU feel? Electric? Or are you a ball of nerves inside? *See Nathan’s quote about whether something is natural for you or if you had to learn it!*
*Trauma (which is an overused word, so please excuse the phrasing) can affect our ability to connect to who we are at the core. So you may also want to think about life and relational disruptions in your past and if they affected how you relate to yourself and others. This is particularly true if you are dealing with events in the formative years.
For instance, I grew up moving frequently as a kid and often internationally (every 8 months to 2 years). This was extremely impactful and I do think it affected me, positively and adversely. And while MBTI should not be used (in my opinion) as a tool to measure behavioral patterns, but rather cognitive preferences at a person’s core identity, if you are behaving frequently enough in a way that is counter to your nature, you can sort of confuse yourself and rewire parts of your brain ( a la neuroplasticity).
I’m one of those weirdlings that think personality is comprised of a magical combination of cognitive preferences and a certain je ne sais quoi (and maybe other things - I am far from expert) so I don’t necessarily think someone’s personality type/core really ever changes. But you can get somewhat or incredibly confused if you’ve been disconnected from yourself long enough.
All this to say, keep watching Nathan’s channel, keep learning and reflecting and best of luck :) You WILL find your type! 🌻
100k lessgooo
- Hikari
Another great video 🙌 Please do ENTP vs ESTP, I still can't tell which one am I because my Se is almost as high as my Ne and both my Si and Ni are really low. It would help immensely because you explain everything so well
Well, if you don't like mathematics or philosophy, you're not an ENTP.
Jokes aside, I think the best way to know if your an ENTP or ESTP is to look to the Ti and see if it's connected with Ni or Si. If it's connected with Ni, you will probably have more of a general understanding of how things work, a big picture oriented approach to logic, generally avoiding big existencial questions and detailed frameworks. If it's connected with Si, you will probably care about every detail of logic, not accepting vague answers and trying to understand every single rule of a framework. That's why ENTPs usually have big interests in areas of complex logical systems that they can dissect and understand, such as mathematics or philosophy.
@@gedois3714 I'm very bad at maths and I usually zone out pretty fast if someone starts discussing philosophy but I can't stand it when someone gives me vague irrational answers :D
But seriously, complex logical systems can imo also be found in design, art and languages which all interest me a great deal. However, I was always told that I'm a kinesthetic learner and as far as I know, it's an accurate observation. I think I'm equally good at doing practical things with my hands in the real world and, for example, making 3d models or designing apps. I'm genuinely confused because there's nothing I hate more than boring Si routine but I equally dislike overly insightful and mystical stuff that's supposed to be Ni. I get bored extremely fast both when my brain isn't occupied with learning new things or when I'm sitting at home with nowhere to go.
@@meridiansplendour ESTPs usually have a more action oriented logic, and like doing practical things. It can be programing, for example. ENTPs, in the other hand, are more leaned towards abstract concepts, and usually can be seen discussing things like "how does the human mind work?", "can an AI be crative?" and "what is the right concept of justice?". ENTPs are knoledge seekers, and you'll usually see them reading books about various subjects. And about disliking boring Si routine, it's commom for all types. Even the ISTJs i know usually complain about it.
@@gedois3714 I guess if we're talking about an abstract question that is so open-ended that you feel that you're getting nowhere and you're just questioning things for their own sake, it wouldn't hold my interest for long. Your first two examples spark my interest easily because it's basically just a matter of research until we get the answers but the last one just seems forever unanswerable and does nothing to my brain. I'll gladly read lots of books on different subjects but now that I think about it, I do see how you could describe them as being more practical.
Thanks for taking the time to explain this, I'll look into it more. Which type are you btw? When I read about cognitive functions there's always this one stereotypical thing that completely throws me off, like ESTP being power dynamos which I don't really relate to.
At least my middle functions aren't confusing to me and either way, it looks like I'm very friendly with my demon function lol
Ty I was mistyped as an INFJ before because I took the 16p test ik stupid and I felt like I didn't fully relate to it eventhough I saw similarities? After studying more about the functions and taking more accurate tests such as sakinrova I can confidently say I'm an enfj after all :D this video was very helpful is reconfirming that ! I rlly enjoy typing ppl and my family consists of my mom(infj), dad (esfp), brother (infp) and me (enfj) ^^ one of my closest friends is also and infj and it's fascinating how similar yet different we are >-
Yes to everything. INFJ/ENFJ Ambivert.
An INFJ comes to mind who always wanted to "experience together" every event I invited them to. While I was trying to be free and tried to encourage them to learn to improvise and choose things to do and get to know people, they were so busy planning the whole thing and asking endless questions in advance and wanting as many meetups and together-experiences at the event as possible, plus arrive together, leave together, spend the way home talking about our experiences. The first workshop that I was not by their side, they connected with the person sitting next to them and those two were from then on looking for each other and going to workshops together as much as they could. Both were visibly happy to "have somebody".
Also an INFJ, was super good at playing 2048, in the most patient slo-motion way I have ever seen, patiently playing through to almost the end of the whole game. I was not able to concentrate for 2 hours just moving tiles in a "one by one" fashion in slow motion. I tried to learn from the good example and do it their way, but I would lose the sense of the "big picture", the context of what was going on in front of my eyes, after a couple of minutes every time. I made stupid mistakes because everything became blurry when I dissected and slowed the process down like that.
Many other situations come to mind, from INFJ and ENFJ friends, that from the perspectives you offered in this video, make a different impression on me than they did at the time.
Differentiation and naming the noticable differences, and their implications: on point. Mind blown. Thank you so much. (ENFP)
That's hilarious bc I'm an INFJ who is also a bit of a whiz at 2048 and I've never thought of the connection to Ni. My INFP sister is always shocked like 'wow u actually think about it, i just keyboard smash' lol. I'm now thinking about all the similar mental games I play and how they're all Ni-related haha
I am an INFJ. You nailed it.
I’m infj and love enfj. They would be similar to me just more out there and ya.
INFJ for sure
Do you usually put subtitles? I’m a non English speaker so distinguishing the E and I is very hard for me 😅
I believe at the time I watched this video, there are mostly accurate closed captions set up. Check again, they may be there this time.
@@SnowKat-mn9qh thank you! 😊
I take a test every year or two and I bounce between INFJ and ENFJ, and it's close to the middle in terms of Introversion vs Extraversion. What's interesting is that on every single comparison listed here I actually do find myself bouncing between both sides of the coin throughout my life.
Me and my cousin are having a difficult time figuring out her type lol. We both are truly ambiverts and are extremely similar, but after and couple of months of typology research I am quite confident that I’m an INFJ. I thought she was too but she took a few test and after some not so accurate results (including ISFP and a few ENFP), the test where she tested as an ENFJ made the most sense considering that they are the same functions with a different stacking. The only thing that isn’t fitting is the whole good guy friendly profile thing. She too is often perceived as “cold”, “unapproachable”, or “standoffish”, even more so than me. She also might not do too well with sudden change and is not going to be the one to take on a leadership role in a situation, in fact she often ask me to do it. However, she is more upfront about asking people questions and getting to the bottom of their feelings and opinions on things. She is also less reluctant on expressing her honest opinion compared to me hence the dominant Fe. She focuses less on her intuition than I would as well and is more grounded in reality. I want to add that she is less likely to be mistaken for a thinking type than I am. I am often confused for being an INTJ amongst our friends, even by my friend who actually is an INTJ.