INFJ weaknesses, and how to SOLVE them!
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- Опубліковано 25 лис 2024
- #infj #intp #16personalities
INFJs, the rarest personality type? The intuitive people focused feelers. Do they have any weaknesses... well... kind of yes.... it's called "extraverted sensing" and it's... well, watch and find out.
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"Let's say, you have a social event upcoming. Very theoretical, I know."
Nathan, have you tried stand up comedy?
I'm flattered! I've been attracted to the idea of trying improvisational comedy mainly because the idea scares me and I'd be awful at it but would love to improve my ability to just channel and use humour any place/any time ~ Nathan
@@lovewho Sounds like a great idea nevertheless. I'll support your upcoming career!
@@lovewho Bold of you to assume he wasn't asking to make sure you didn't quit your day job. 😛
This joke was pure gold, and made me chuckle.
@@loref4200 I acknowledge ur feelings
Do yoga, eat healthy and delicious food, have a beer from time to time, sleep well, go to nature. Those things save me from the constant chatter in my mind ~ INFJ.
Можно и без пива, но в целом звучит как что-то идеальное!
There were two things in my life that made me deal with reality and living in the moment. They were being an illustrator and skating outside on old fashioned roller skates for about 13 years. I became quite "good" at it. A couple watching me ones described my skating as "breathing" and my illustrations sold for a very decent amount of money and they were only copies not even the original ones. My drawing style was even recognized. That is why it was really hard for me to find out which personality type I was. Looking at the cognitive functions helped a lot, also watching your very enjoyable video's. Thank you for what you're doing ;)
I did Pilates and dance therapy (with many moments of improvisation, dancing reacting to the dance of others and interacting with). In both there was highly atention to "breath management", also I participate in choir and took lessons of singing (more breath...), all of these did a lot on terms of being in the moment. Also art therapy and watercolour painting.
I do so of these too lol
Nature ..walk.. yes..! Help me recently..!
"Scheduled chaos" that's why I, as an infj, have an internet addiction problem
Hahaha!
❤️
Same here. Then i tell myself "you've wasted ur life on the internet today. Delete Instagram now. Delete facebook now. Stop watching UA-cam and do something productive." And it works. Because i feel very very guilty for being useless.
We thrive on creating order from chaos 😵🥴😜
🌌🔭
@@scottmcintosh4397 man! Makes me wish I were a much better INFJ!
"Better to have a well rounded team of extreme people than a team of well rounded people"
Yea I'm a really big fan of that idea whenever possible ~ Nathan
"Indulge, not binge" hahahaha whoops 😅
Too late lol? ~ Nathan
Hmmm, I often feel as an INFJ that I subconsciously sabotage my need to control chaos by running late, or not looking at the details of something upcoming so that I am caught off guard. For example, the other night I had a dinner event that I swore was 1/2 hour later than it was, so at the last minute I had to scramble quickly which forced me to give up overthinking it. Perhaps SE plays tricks on NI to force balance?
I def know what you're talking about. I procrastinate heavily, but I never had a real explanation for why I'm doing it. This last minute giving-up of overthinking sounds quite plausible.
@@schlaubischlumpf211 a maguire clash happened 4 years ago in me between Ni and Se and it felt like my soul on fire
from that time I just ignore Se
Maybe ur an enfp?
Yeah, I'm always late because I have missed some detail. And I'm "not supposed to be an IJ because I'm late".
This happens to me so often, I have to check all the times and dates multiple times and even if I've checked before, I can't trust myself with it (also INFJ) 😅
What I find crazy about Ni users is that they fear chaos so much but when it happen they just build a new plan in a blink and adapt so quickly. They can even feel relieves about it. Maybe because to them every event that happen, even unpredictable ones, suppress an uncertainty. Maybe what we fear is not always what we are vulnerable to.
I've noticed the same thing. It causes them stress yet they get back on track very quickly ~ Nathan
INFJ here- I’ve started scheduling when the sunset/sunrise is. And just watch it. I will get out of my head (oh it’s painful!) and just watch my kids, and appreciate the moment. And roughhousing with them too.
I often bring my knitting so that I can at least have something planned in unplanned situations.
That’s really brilliant. Having those kinds of activities that ground you in the moment make such a huge difference! ~Nathan
Twerking helps me improve my Se a lot but then again, Im an isfp :/
My imagination is happy with this comment ~ Nathan
I lol'd
INFJ male here. I have started randomly twerking (or at least it seems that way to me). I'm straight.
@@joelbedulla4 have often noticed infj guys being super wierd and still be cute
@@aladdout9454 its a gift
Yes, thank you. I've just recently learned that "Don't simulate reactions. Don't anticipate. Just be present." Really helps me for situations that I think I can't handle or haven't quite mastered. But it is actually unchartered territory for Ni doms that the mere idea of it is scary/overwhelming. I had to do it because my old way of handling a certain matter/conflict was just really not working. I guess life just gives you moments that force you to face your inferior function.
And, related to this, I think you've captured quite accurately how Ni-doms prepare for social events. I was smiling throughout that bit because it captured me so well.
Glad I could make you smile! ~ Nathan
@@lovewho 😂
Want to increase Se? Start when you're a child and go outside to play, ride bicycles and skateboards. Get a license and a driving job. Get a gym membership. My life always maintained a direction, forward. My careers presented themselves to me and I followed my intuition.
Let us all develop our fourth functions whilst Nathan describes his seventh
for me this is just seducing infj part 2 lol
Haha! I'll consider renaming the next INFJ video part 3 ~ Nathan
thats funny
You are so right about scheduling chaos - in my 20s I finally realized that I had to put myself in situations that would freak me out in order to grow, and at some point I realized I will have to pull the trigger in steps, for example, I am an artist, and I would apply for a residency program in a country I might have never imagined myself traveling to, out of fear or whatever, but if I just apply, who knows if I’ll get it, but if I do, I will have to go (they are too competitive not to) and then I will face chaos. And I’ll panic. And I’ll get over it. I also had a bit of a fear of water, but I loved watching surfing, so I planned in advance to quit my job, schedule 3 months at a cheap dump on a beach somewhere, for the purpose of learning how to surf. I did that. Yes. But it was all the things I thought it would be. I set it up in a way where I risk too much to allow myself, according to my personal code, to get out of it, I mean I always understand that I don’t have to do any of this, but I will let myself down if I don’t. I did this a lot up until the age of 18 - believing I was too scared to try the most seemingly benign things. Everything I do now, in a sense, is to make up for the times I let myself down as a child by not believing in myself, by always running away rather than facing up to things, being utterly controlled by my fear. I’m challenging it now. Traveling, well, really living in Europe, after only planning a year off from teaching college fine arts, but I’m in year 4 now, and I still wonder every day if I’m breaking a rule, if this is allowed or not. What price will I pay. But, I am also pretty decisive after the overwhelm settles. And I’m quite spontaneous as well, when I am engaged with the external world. I like to have fun with it and experiment. Unless I know I’m being watched by anyone in authority. I’m 49.
I've met no one who does it better than you on these typology topics Nathan. It's enjoyable just watching you talk about anything in such logical and concise words. Thank you!
Thank you! This is great to hear ~ Nathan
I often think about just packing up and traveling like a nomad from place to place. As an INFJ that's been, lest's say, "forced" into being spontaneous by life throwing many life-altering and unforeseen variables at me since I hit the age of 10 I've learned to be, at least, comfortable with the unknown and if not sometimes looking forward to it. The unknown = "infinite possibilities". Meaning, you can make anything happen. Out of necessity, I've learned to be more adaptable in the moment. Necessity is the mother of invention. I had to invent or learn new skills to function through rough times. Uncomfortable times make you grow. They push you outside of your comfort zone. I still rely on my strengths and try to hone them, but I've also " had to" strengthen my weaknesses. Not something anyone would actually wish for if the knew the price, but since the price was unavoidable I carried on, and in doing so learned some things becoming more and flexible I try to "be" in the moment. I'll never be a Se dominant, but I have improved; which is the only thing someone can do. To take the silver lining from the clouds.
Just wanted to ask my fellow Ni doms, do you ever have moments where you begin breaking down the moments that you enjoyed and then ask yourself whether is this what people mean by enjoyment?
As for this video, I have my own personal experiences that makes me digress from the idea of enjoyment for given moment's face value. Enjoyment that was gained by running away your primary duties and procrastinating to me is simply hollow. I definitely enjoyed those moments but when I am done with them, a sense of hollowness invades my mind which tells me that I did this particular activity to avoid confronting with something that had been making me feel uncomfortable.
I share your sentiments.
As an INTJ I understand where you are coming from, but I also think that you're being too hard on yourself. Either shut up and enjoy these moments you call "procrastination" or avoid them to spare yourself the turmoil that ensues when you engage in them.
@@t5396 Easier said than done. Takes much strength, but to me it's worth it (the few times I actually manage to not procastinate).
@@t5396 it's strange to hear even a stranger, a fellow intj at that to say this. But I would repeat what I have told others as well - if I am satisfied with my performance, then I don't feel like I deserve whatever sensation I get from "enjoyment" that makes me feel guilty further.
I have recently joined a company where I am not able to make use of my Te effectively. I know what I need to do, but currently there's no desire within me to pursue these goals, so I am stuck in a rut.
@@melissa-5670 what, specifically, is worth it?
I have an ESTP male child who keeps me on my toes constantly😅. He is always in adventurer explorer mode. He literally runs into school every morning waking up ready for the next adventure. My brother was concerned one morning when my son sat straight up out of bed, immediately banged on his chest like King Kong, and announced his name to the world.
Wow, I would like to feel that level of energy first thing in the morning... you know.. I might just try that tomorrow and deal with the awkwardness of my roommates wondering what on earth I was doing ~ Nathan
I love this
how adorable. i wanna feel his energy :)
@@nala1684Lol, yes everyone outside our home says he is so "adorable." The sensory stimulation is nerve wrecking at times for this introvert! 😅
As an INFJ male growing I really enjoyed Se activities. I was one of the best athletes in all the schools I went to, good at variety of sports but also straight A student. It is strange how I am so well rounded but I still struggle with being over stimulated especially around people that talk about boring everyday things or gossiping about people. I know Se is my inferior function but I need to develop it more so I am not so overwhelmed sensory wise.
"just turn up & well......turn-up". 😂
It's sooooo hard to live as an Ni-dom. Most of the time, a random thought or question pops out in my mind and I try to research, investigate, or find anything to answer it. Simulate things. Recall memories. Finding connections to related symbols or other ideas-- and I soon find myself just sitting for hours without moving. 🤪 I always get laughed at my morning coffee getting cold. And oh! I forgot to mention that when I'm just in the moment, like a lightning strike that for a second lights a whole place, an "aha!" moment comes RANDOMLY. Send halp pliss
I think it was over on CS Joseph’s channel I heard him say that types with low Se have a bad memory. I would agree I have a bad memory for everyday practical stuff and have accepted I will always need to make lists
Se users don't have great long-term memory. Si users do.
I’ve joked that I’d be the absolute WORST criminal witness because my memory is so bad I wouldn’t be able to describe a suspect beyond something like “maybe white, male,” and “had clothes.”
After thousands upon thousands and untold thousands of videos, I created a channel to comment on this video.
Retrospective agency.
Well done.
I'm honoured!!! Hopefully this isn't the last! ~ Nathan
I know already. Procrastinaton and over perfectionism inertia
Well played... ~ Nathan
I've been looking for a video like this. I'm an INFJ and Se is my struggle. I agree that Se is a really much better way to engage with life, and I need to focus on that more. I really like the ESTPs because they have all my functions, but in a different order that makes them seem so approachable (still have that Fe), grounded in themselves (Ti before Fe), and up for whatever fun comes their way and always looking to tackle the next challenge (Se) but they still like weird things and concepts (Ni in a more useful place).
K. w. I like them too.
geez i know i like estps because of this too. it makes me mad thogu becausse theyre so different
Nathan, omg so charming to watch, and always love to hear your thoughts. The INFJ community will become addicted to you, I'm afraid 😉
I'm happy to be your dealer and give you your regular fix ~ Nathan
At this point this video has 170 likes and 0 dislikes. That should tell you something. The only disagreement I have in what you stated is that Ni, or INFJ’s don’t factor in new information and reformulate their beliefs. I think reformulating/refining our theories is something we often do. And I have read this elsewhere too. I do agree we like to take a course of action from the myriad of overwhelming choices. So, I need an ESTP to be my warrior, and I will direct their battle? Works on paper. Not sure if it would in real life. Maybe like herding cats? Great video.
David Kepke - Lol, I was married to an Alpha male ESTP for a short time that felt like a very long time. It was like herding cats....very angry, bossy cats.
I am an INFJ that has through circumstance been forced to endure constant change, lack of stability, very little support..and I have had to adapt. This has made me into the sigma that I am today. If I hadn't been able to weather these storms I would not be here to post...dark night of the soul (several) dominating and reformatting my ego. I am becoming next level. Self discovery is the only thing worth pursuing, once you do that all else falls into place. Blessed be, love and healing to you all. -J
I Improved my Se by being mistyped as an ISTP for a few years and it strengthened through the power of belief and placebo.
This is so interesting, I've never flowed with life, I constantly smash up against it. That's my biggest struggle in life yet I've never identified what it is or could put it to words. Thank you for doing this, hearing your explanation really amazed me and I don't care if you didn't give advice because I was too busy overthinking this information. Great vid!
Thank you, really glad it helped you in some way ~ Nathan
This is very true for me as an INFJ. Now I finally understand why people think I have strong opinions and I always want to carry out my own plans. This also explains why I’m argumentative, most evidently about things I deem important. For some time I have had some doubt being INFJ or INTJ, especially being a DISC type D. Watching these videos makes me feel more certain about being an INFJ. Thank you!
"Enjoy stuff " well, i guess i need to remind myself to enjoy.
This is one rare video by Nathan, which I really feel conflicted about. I am not an INFJ but an INTJ, but as a fellow Ni dominant I have certain reservations or criticisms regarding your perspective.
First of all there seems to be strong prejudice in this video towards the 'Se' way of life. In fact you should realise that taken to the extreme the Se way of life which you term as 'natural' can lead to overindulgence and a possible lack of concern towards the repercussions of your actions . Major civilisations in the world had always crumbled when unbounded hedonism took its root and people who can think long term have disappeared. Taken as an axis (Se-Ni), a healthy Ni dominant never undermines the importance of Se reality but uses it as a raw material on which to base their conjectures of the future. Lastly, you can never tie together a narrative which was totally disordered in reality. An individual honesty looking back into his own past does not invent causality or connections between past events. He just realised the connections which were never obvious when the events took place in reality. It is like in the past he was a soldier fighting in the thick of battle, in the present he is like an eagle who can see the entire battle field from up in the sky. Now he sees the enemy soldier who wounded him from behind. He never saw him then.
In reality the world needs both Ni and Se dominants (other dominant types as well). There is no natural way of life per se.
Fascinating comparison. It reminds me of the phrase "a nation is born stoic and dies epicurean." I agree with your points! ~ Nathan
This comment and all the comments in response exactly reflect and very much add to today's thoughts and concerns. Se made me feel like just going along with a guy I am attracted to but the Ni and now more developed Fi, if I may call it that, I mean an infj attempt at Fi, made me sure of how it would hurt him and he'd feel played afterwards because I have already fitted it into the bigger picture before it even goes down. I was being honest about it and now I'm surprised at how Se can really be used as a bonus and doesn't have to fuck everything up. I think it takes a lot of discipline and reminding oneself of what we are actually about and then life as an infj can actually look pretty amazing. The only bad thing that can happen then is that many people will think that you just so had your dreams fulfilled and didn't do much for it like it was coincidental because they can't see the Ni-Ti consideratios and the excruciating pain and the harsh merciless decision-making that made it all happen. Ok, also some magic/synchronicity/the almighty Lord/things that I think are not meant to be understood, at least not by infjs.
Leads me to another question... Do Intps or intjs or any other type have an interest in coming up with explanations for the strange unexplainable forces that carry (some) infjs through life?
And do I really want to know? :/
@Luce M Hello. Not sure I understand the question but I think it's a good one... Fe is really bad when you have toxic surroundings or when you're isolated in some way, then it is practically impossible to be feeling your feeling, no one in the external world is moving with them/resonating so when you've experienced something like this (and survived it), you might have in the meantime developped Fi, possibly very well. I think mine is well developped but when I'm in safe and wonderful surroundings I happly re-engage with Fe. Does that answer your question? Or less personally... I think that Fi is important for Infjs for feeling more grounded and less dependent on others and it will also enhance the quality of what they have to share with the world.
@Luce M yikes!
Great video. However, INJs are great at adapting - ISJs aren’t.
INJs accept change and chaos and embrace it, they trust their capacity to analyze/feel what’s behind events and people, but fear the randomness of people or events in the NOW (especially physical) which could interfere with everything, but as they usually also foresee it, they can manage it quite well - just dislike it.
ISJs trust what they know/are used to and fear what COULD happen, so that’s why they’re always being impressed by anything in the news. As they cannot foresee it (only look back), they have difficulty adapting to it and are almost always either living in blind faith or fear.
In almost any context, INJs will be bringing about change and ISJs, resisting it.
Sofia Yes, yes, yes. Right on the money.
DD's bread I think IsTJ are as you say, but isfj’s are as Sofie says.
Great comment
DD's bread i think ISFJs likes you said once they’ve experienced enough of life to have a variety of memories to draw from are incredibly adaptable and open minded/non judgemental (inferior Ne) and empowered Si of course. INFJs with developed/balanced Se do learn to roll with the punches quite well but with inferior function you gotta have the energy to engage it and therefore there’ll be a lot of introvert recharging, and preparation for when the social event/engagement happens so by that you can rely less on Se lol. We can it just a bit draining esp if we’re already tired, lots of daily activities require Se
I agree
Realized I'm already doing all this stuff ... and probably too much ... so what I ACTUALLY need is a nice long staycation for my Ni to recover 😝 It ain't easy being Ni hero.
Nathan, please do a similar video on INTJs, specifically, how to cope with being socially unaware or awkward (Fe trickster, in some intepretations). Thanks for the quality content. You definitely have one of the best depth psychology channels.
I'll definitely do that and I like the idea of adding in the Fe function to that as well ~ Nathan
@@lovewho - is it possible that some INTJs are very well aware of what they are doing, but pretend to be unaware so they can get away with pulling stuff they would never get away with otherwise?
Wow 🤯 I do plan my social interactions! 5:30 who is going, what’s new happening in their life, etc - I hate going in unprepared 😂 even though I can handle spontaneous social interactions quite well.
I feel so understood and hugged by the words Nathan has ever said about us INFJs.
My most developed functions in my ego I would say are my Ni hero and Ti child. I am fairly comfortable with my Fe parent, but it being a negative function in my ego, it is draining to use too much. But when it comes to my Se inferior, yeahhh its rough. After having ignored Se for a long time, and essentially forgetting about my body, now I have nerve damage on my leg and arm (thank you Si demon). This in conjunction with other life events, has made me focus a lot more on my Se inferior. I am thankful for these struggles helping me grow. It is definitely not easy using Se, but Ive noticed that when I just do my best to let go of my insecurities and embrace Se, I become almost super charged and am able to use Se very effectively and productively, but for a short time. It is not easy but I am confident that with time and work, I can learn to use Se more regularly as I grow and mature as a person.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm secretly an INFJ and not an INTJ. Your list of what the INFJ would be thinking before a social event has proved otherwise to me 😂
As an INFJ who has long been fascinated with the 16 personality typology, I'm not sure I agree with a couple of your points, most specifically: lack of indecisiveness and a rigid adherence to past methodologies and conclusions.
On the first issue, I will say for me, I find Fe leads to indecisiveness with frequency. If I am on my own, sure, decision making is faster. The moment I'm in a room of peers (a team meeting, a coalition, or even just friends), all of my Ni ideas become funneled through Fe processing, and I want to (ideally, doesn't always work!) hear everyone's ideas and priorities and figure out an option based on group consensus (If I'm the one to offer it and am appreciated for my insight: huge bonus!). So I can often be indecisive while trying to hear everyone out.
On the rigidness and resistance to new information... Is it possible you are pulling a bit from Si? I didn't resonate with this section at all. I view my Ni as creating a tower (for any project I'm working on, including myself haha). Yes, I'm trying to build this single tower, but I will use all the info I can get to make it the best tower it can be. And if I find new information that challenges or even defies a part of my tower--even its foundation!-- I will not hesitate to adopt the new and remove the old if I determine it is more true, more accurate, better, etc. Continual improvement and constant scanning of the world are essential to good strategy, afterall! And I am not at all familiar with any N dominant types who prefer the past to possibility!
I tried to think of instances where this might be true for me... And I did think of technology, lol! My ENTP partner is always trying to get me to upgrade my tech in a wide variety of ways, and I find it exhausting tbh. I really am not interested in learning all the intricacies... But I tell them: if it's better, install it, show me enough to get started, and I will use it. And I do! And usually, my partner is right on.
I also agree with the commenter who suggested that memory is not as strong with INFJs. I can always remember how I felt from an event or incident, but I can rarely give a detailed accounting of how or why. So adhering to former ways of doing things makes no sense to me. I can appreciate a credible model or approach as a starting point, but I usually want to see what the current context is and who is being affected now. The past can inform, but I'm more interested in future potential.
I think my two biggest fears are: one, that the world is ultimately meaningless. And two: that I'm constructing my own reality, ergo it isn't all that reliable or real anyway. Even if I were to base things off what happened before, who's to say that things will ever work that way again? So how could we ever really be sure? (And here comes a cyclical loop of thinking, so I'll stop now!)
Thanks for your videos; I'm curious what you think of my comments!
I agree that was very Si-ish! The INFJ can see the past, present and future simultaneously and actually craves change and gets frustrated when that change cannot come over night, say such as in a job situation even as a manager or director.
As an FJ I'm constantly focusing on comparisons dichotomies and especially being contrarian because often times that's where the answer is rather than the same old-same old tried-and-true, that isn't working.
This is pretty helpful for INFP too.. I've been diving into more situations where my words are not prepared and this helps me reach "flow" state. People probably think I'm an ENFJ based on recent behavior. Btw, you're hilarious and I've been watching your videos for a couple weeks now but I'm always hesitant to comment because then I might type a book and then delete it later for how it might be perceived 😁
It's great to hear that it was helpful! ~ Nathan
That preconceived notions list is GOLD.
- ENFP
I can relate with the "constantly fighting against chaos" way of living. About a year ago my family moved and everything was chaotic. After that I started to search for self improvement, this was what lead me to the 16 personalities. At first I thought I was mistyped and was actually an INFP, but the more I researched it the more I realized I was really an INFJ. I had such a hard time trying to understand why everyone else was so "natural" at living life when really it was only Se that I have been struggling with. Thank you for expanding my knowledge on this part :)
Glad you enjoyed it! ~ Nathan
Exactly this is how it happened with me as well and now l am in my way in developing my inferior functions
You are enough. Just you. You don't need to bring anything. Just show up, and be there. Don't try to adapt to anyone. Just smile and say hi. Don't hide with the pets. Just be in the center of things, existing in the moment, and open to conversation and any possibilities. You'll be surprised at how easily you make friends, and open new doors.
Wow you are extremely articulate in describing the INFJs personality
Every time I try to live in the moment, I always end up preparing for my next move. I can't help it.
"Controlled Chaos" Like being homeless and/or going to a heavy metal/grindcore gigs?
That's how I got good at managing chaos.... The total immersion, or into the deep end, approach.
I was more of an extrovert before.Very spontaneous & easy going,fun, etc..After my awakening things have changed.I have been introvert symptoms & other changes...
So basically...
Se Doms are like mythological Gods, having the ability to force the sensory world to their will, creating chaos in the natural world, drinking, playing, loving, indulging.
Ni Doms are like professor Xavier sitting in his chair, seperate and alone, unable to move as he absorbs all the chaos of voices and tries to read the minds of all the individuals in the world, believing its his purpose in life to help the rest of the world.
What a pair 😂
Awesome explanation Nathan😁 I am glad Ni butts up against life. It doesn't make it easy but an easy life has no meaning.
Very true, the struggle makes it worthwhile ~ Nathan
Oh, I really like that "overstimulated vs understimulated" concept, it gives a nice perspective.
Yes I wish I'd lingered on that a bit longer as an idea actually ~ Nathan
Thanks, Nathan. That had some real advice in it. Going into things without a pre-visualized personnel breakdown does really lead to great experiences, yet give Ni a few hours alone and it goes back to doing such things. A few days alone, and there's a projected consequence chain the size of the Great Wall of China. And that was built to keep the Mongolians out. But the Mongolians aren't the enemy. They just seem like it sometimes
Most wholesome and learnable comment section. Says a lot about the video maker.
This is a really nice comment to read! ~ Nathan
I'm still impressed with the amount of thought-provoking content packed into these short videos! Thank you, Nathan (and Lu?). I really like the point about retroactive storytelling vs. reactivity.
In a nutshell, "distrust of the environment" characterizes inferior Se. Ni passively absorbs information to predict (and with aid from the judging functions, control) the environment via pattern seeking. It still relies on the sensory realm, but since it's not conscious we can trick ourselves into believing we're outsmarting the 'chaos' of our world. It is good to be reminded that Ni can become too recursive without putting some effort into new and/or productive inputs (without binging, lol).
Glad you enjoy the videos! I love the phrase "distrust of the environment" you used to describe inferior Se. ~ Nathan
I love the misleading videos because they make me feel understood. Merci, monsieur!
2:59 I’m so glad you talked about this! I have this tendency BIG TIME, and it has always led me to doubt whether I really am INFJ, or I’m just a mis-typed ISFJ. Because this tendency is typically associated with Si, this “going with the methods that have worked for me before/in the past”. With me, it can frustrate me when I have to adapt to new ways of doing things, when I know there’s another method that has worked just fine for me. It’s made me think “perhaps it’s because I’m actually an Si dom and not an Ni dom”. Sometimes I thought it could be because of my anxiety or due to other mental challenges I have. For instance, one thing that can really stress me out is spreadsheets (probably due to inferior Se, I think?). When my manager or a co-worker asks me to use our common spreadsheet to plan things, it stresses me out. Even looking at a spreadsheet frustrates me, particularly the huge and detailed ones😵💫 - with or without color themes which are in fact added to make it easier to navigate between the cells. I’ve gotten a little more used to them now, but I don’t use them for my personal planning. I just plot my own tasks for the entire year or period into a Word file (with the title “Tasks 2023” for instance), and into my physical daily planner where I write down all the tasks I’m going to fulfill that specific day.
This video was very insightful, and I’ve saved it to my playlist! Thank you!
"Well-rounded team of people rather than a team of well-rounded people" - my INTJ husband and myself. It's a learning curve ☺️
INFJ - INTJ duo? Thats awesome! ~ Nathan
@@lovewho Yes that's right we balance each other :)
This man isn't an INFJ, and still makes more sense to us, then all others INFJs on the internet, who try to explain us stuff about our type. 💓
I guess we even misunderstand our fellows INFJs on the internet😂...
honestly, i just really love you (love who? yes, love you!) talking about infjs. its so logical and helpful and understanding and not mocking at all, unlike some other types who make videos about us, or even fellow infjs who are self-deprecating in videos about infjs. thank you so much
All I could say is, "wow." No wonder I've stumbled so much. The part about the party where infj figures out everything before going. This is so true. It is amazing.
JUST DO IT! Don't think about it.😎
Amen ~ Nathan
Excellent INFJ insight as usual. As INFJ I find like our ESTP counterparts we are extremely introverted as opposed to extremely extroverts who thrive on chaos. Thriving on Chaos is inconceivable to me as an INFJ but I can prepare for it and do which helps a lot. Thanks... 👍
Thank you so much! ~ Nathan
@Nathan: Video idea - ways to deal with loop or grip situations. Not just reiterating what some posts on Reddit and other mbti websites / blogs say but giving these theoretical situations and how a type should approach them.
You are funny! Spot on as far as I can tell. Working on my shadow side of my personality. Absolutely true I've manipulated and manipulate almost everyone I know. Shit I even manipulate my damn self with my "justifications" or "intentions".
Main point in this video that hit me hard was. How I come to a conclusion and its final in my mind no other way. I'm realizing thats where some of my manipulation stems from right. So my reality fits my narrative. Not on a super toxic level in terms of causing people emotional trauma. Id say 67% is guiding one to what I think is best for them and humanity, right or wrong. And 30% to get what I want thats purely selfish. And 3% strictly to fuck with people whom I feel deserves it or to get back at someone thats hurt an individual that cant or dosent defend them selves
Holy cow, crazy timing. I'm not an INFJ (I'm an INFP), but woke up today thinking how the heck can I start to improve my most inferior function (Te) and then told myself the "logical" thing to do would be to ask Nathan to start making videos on how to improve my inferior function and I go to your channel and see this! I hope there is an INFP version of this in the pipeline. I could really use your advice :)
That is certainly a very logical move, and will definitely do that video in the next few weeks! ~ Nathan
So have children. My favorite saying now as a mom and wife is pivot. Honestly that idea was introduced to me by God. Didn't know He was helping me with my weaknesses. Love being a child of God because I don't have to worry about everything. Even these things He works out better than any therapist ever could.
I believe I’m an infj. I constantly need plans A-B-C in case of anything going wrong ever. Like what happens if we get a flat? Or we see a bear on a hike? Or if Marshall law were to happen? It’s exhausting because when something happens that I didn’t plan for or I can’t control, I freak out. I lost it when my daughter was born, my wife was in pain and there was little I could do. So when I was alone, I broke down in joy and stress.
Although, I do have a “going with the flow” activity and it’s literally about flowing! I spin poi at music festivals, parties, free time. They have led lights and I get to be VERY creative. I also feel less stressed and more capable of just making a decision on the fly after spinning. (Also I cant help but think of the nature of reality when I do, long story)
I remember, this one season of my life I was spinning my poi every day for hours. One day my girlfriend (now wife) and I decided to go to the local pool. When we got there people started screaming and a woman pulled a limp and purple boy from the water. There were no life guards and all the parents were trying to help their own scared kids. I handed my stuff to my GF, ran to the boy, wiped his face, and started doing cpr. He spit up the water after 3 big breathes. I will always be so thankful that I was able to flow into motion immediately instead of getting stuck in my head like I often do.
INTJ shares these functions and what you said is very relatable. What i've found through time is that it gets easier to 'prepare for chaos'. I used to get really stressed out in situations where I had little control. But I've learned that just being aware of the fact that i'm heading into something I have little or no control over is like somthing i can resign myself for. Weirdly it helps me to be aware of the lack of control and makes it more easy to go with the flow when I know it's pointless to fight against it. Makes sense? Also, where's your comfy cardi? I hope you didn't decide to ditch it all together after last episodes parade of garments? :)
Elder infj here, best way to build up your Se is to get yourself a waiter/waitressing job at a small diner. Nowhere too busy, just enough to help you learn how to pay closer attention to the physical world around you at that moment. Positive reinforcement is included as tips; the happier you make the patrons in your diner, the more you practice that Se function. The more you practice, the better you get at Se, thereby making you more tips. ❤
OUT-Standing! Thank you!
The description you give of Ni sounds like the true definition for the “door slam”. I don’t believe in the way it is described online. I believe mine sounds like Ni. Once I’m shown what would be a door slam to me, emotionally, from my partner. Like a complete betrayal of me emotionally, or a couple after I gave chances to work through it. Then I have to make that decision to simply not allow myself to access any emotions in regard to them. It does sounds like it’s a much harder decision than how easily I make it. But I had time to subconsciously brace for that decision to have to be made.
It's been difficult to deter what MBTI type I am when I come from a lot of trauma. I remember initially believing that I'm an INFJ, but "non-stereotyped" ENTJ videos have been extremely self-applicable lately. Everyday I have to be doing something hands on (in other words Se) or I get grumpy, probably why I thought I was a romantic INFJ back then. Dominant cognitive function tests tell me I am strongest in Te but also Fe. I think I'll subscribe to find out if I can "figure" myself out someday.
I was typed infp, but I'm beginning to suspect I'm infj after watching this. That social checklist is basically what I'm thinking about on my way to any gathering and the idea of just showing up unprepared is terrifying. Your videos are turning my world upside down lol
So I'd recommend checking out our INFJ and INFP playlists to see which of the two types overall feel like the right fit for you ~ Nathan
@@lovewho Thanks! I'll definitely do that.
I really appreciate this take on MBTI and look forward to the same approach to the rest. I'm ENFP.
Thank you! ~ Nathan
I needed that. Thank you! Btw well done.
Lol I hadn’t watched the video to the end when I wrote that comment. I feel caught.
Your quote reminded me of an advice my brother once gave me: „If your trys haven’t worked out by now, don’t keep trying the same way and harder. Try different“ (Well, he told me in German and it’s weird to translate). I love this advice but on the other hand, of course, it gives me anxiety. So that’s not a thing you would see me just doing. However, my brother’s advice as well as your advices give me consciousness over what I’m doing and orientation, which I value a lot. So thank you again.
I really like that advice but agreed, scary indeed ~ Nathan
Hahahaha, that simulated list, totally accurate! Yesterday I (INFJ) started planning with an colleague (whom I think is ESTP) to set up a new community at work. All the mentioned points came by in my head, multiple times ^^. Gotta trust my instinct more spontaneously. It's hard.
The Marines infantry for me was a beautiful thing. 9 years. Medically retired. I'm 42 and such videos give me great comfort and possibilities. I could not do it over again the same way even if I tried. It was a playground though I got really really really tired....Nice videos
There is definitely a strong tendency to stick to the concepts or rational explanations that have worked in the past. It feels like a lot of energy is put in to suppressing emotions so that these ideals can be maintained; instead of allowing the emotions and forming new concepts. Its taken some time to change this pattern for me, personally. A lot of my life changed when i became friends with an ENFP. She allowed me to escape my Ni-Ti loop. She helps me to remember to stay more soft and open instead of cold and judging. My anxiety would surge and she would remind me that there are other perspectives to take into account, which immediately reduced my anxiety. Ive learned to get out of the house and have more interactions with people- without pre-scripting or pre-judging. If i catch myself doing those things, its a sign of my anxiety-which means its something in myself that i can change/its not the other people that need to change.
It's also not that simple to just go out and do it. Ive had to work a lot on my mental health with therapy and medication.
It has taken considerable effort to calm my mind and tune in to my body and senses. Daily meditation practice, fasting of various sorts, and other spiritual practices . Ive had to spend plenty of time by myself, so that i can truly know who i am and what internal sensations actually spring from me. Ive had to find rational explanations to understand why i feel the way i do or react the way i do in certain situations, only then have i been able to move on and become more tempered emotionally.
Those concepts and rational explanations help to mitigate the constant flux of emotions which i feel so uncomfortable feeling. Emotions feel like temporary insanity and i prefer to stay level-headed. But then i do not connect with other people in a raw and real way. Others do not understand how i feel, and neither do i because ive not allowed myself to express it in the moment as emotions are meant to be. This leaves a backlog of emotions to work through, making me a very intense, cynical person. Embracing my emotions has made a huge difference in my life. Once I let them flow, they are done. Theres nothing else to do??? It feels strange but relieving. There is also a worry that people will actually care about me or attach to me.. which feels gross. haha. Well, the more i come into contact with myself, the more comfortable i get with other people and allowing them to know me and witness my vulnerability.
Thanks, your videos really help me pull out a lot of insights.:)
-infj female
"Stop, don't do it" oh, I've been doing it all wrong haha
Haha! Don't worry, I'm only advocating doing that sometimes ~ Nathan
You explain so good. I aprecciate the real reason behind the Ni. I alredy though about the Ni stuff, but your insight made me like put some logical and practical way to act about it :) Thank you!
I was thinking also that Ni it's a self protection that growed at the same time that lifes events just occured. So it's fear , fear of the repeating of things that u already lived and doesnt went well or make you felt very bad. And also, giving meaning when theres no answer at all and nobody could gived it you when you most need it, in the childhood for example.
Wow the planning conversations and interactions etc 🙈 so true and trying to do more planned chaos recently...just showing up 👍
I’m an INFJ and I hate it.. Always in conflict with myself. Walking paradox 😔
I’ve tried going to social events with no plan or expectations. Most of the time I find myself quietly standing around unless I am with someone with strong Se that I can play off of. Even then I hate feeling as tho I’m being clingy and want to give that person their space to roam freely. A lot of the time I end up just focusing on the music or some small detail that doesn’t require me to be socializing in the moment. For example if I am at a house party I may end up looking at their book collection or on the balcony staring at the sky and enjoying the event from a distance. The exception being when I’ve consumed an adequate amount of alcohol, my Se function tends to become more dominant.
oh my gush yes I really overplan inevitable social events I promise. I can't say the amount of mental preparation for speaking time, I can't usually sleep just to prepare.
Dude, I was just about to ask a few online forums on how to improve Se! Thank you for this!!!😆
You wish is my command ~ Nathan
I enjoy watching these videos because i used to think i was so sorted coz of Ni. And then i realised how controlling i am with every little thing in my life. And that hit hard.
There is no joy in the spontaneous. Hahahaha. Well, I like other Se things like rollercoaster and sports. But spontaneous reactions in new social settings turn out pretty awkward, if I'm not already very comfortable with someone or have all my things in line otherwise, so I'm not stressing and trying to sort future things in my head regarding my private or work life.
I think a very useful strategy for Ni doms to be more confident in spontaneous situations is not to predict, but to adopt all encompassing strategies or systems to react more spontaneously. To find out the patterns of good social interaction for example and then apply those when you feel overwhelmed. So, you basically only have to insert new people or situational information into your systematic approach. It gives you a guideline.
A well-rounded table of extreme people is best for the table, not individuals sitting around it. Doubling down on your strengths is equivalent of being an ant - absolutely amazing for the species and your local nest and colony, but sucks for you.
@@nadine692 ponder if you wanna sacrifice yourself for a greater good/result of a group/ humanity/ short-term goal to be achieved or live an average life of a well-rounded person winning in the long term
The way his hands and eyes move, inspire me, he's absolutely a genius and a great thinker really WoW!_!
Lol! Thanks for all the non-advice, though you kind of lost me a wee bit after using the word "dodgy." I absolutely love that word! :D
I'm INFJ and I've thought about improving my Se. I've sort of accepted that it will never be one of my strengths, and I somewhat agree that it's better to be a well-rounded team of extremes, but I also want to find balance and harmony in myself. x)
What I did, is that I joined a group for improv theatre, and I got very lucky, because a lot of the people there were very supportive and nerdy introverts. So it wasn't really a "scary" group, and the improv theatre really helped me in being both more spontaneous, but also quick-thinking. I've been less prone to getting stuck in "analysis paralysis" since I made my thinking more "limber".
Your Se might be low, but it could always get a _little_ better, and it doesn't hurt to try to bring more balance to yourself.
Especially since INFJ's have a propensity for self-improvement. To me it's just helping me become a more mature and well rounded person. :)
The rain in the background of this video is nice. 🌧
Idk might just be static. Sorry if it is not trying to be rude if it is.
You seem genuinely kind. Your videos are fascinating and it is enjoyable to learn about all the personalities in your videos☀️
love videos like this that help me assess myself on the path
Such a great video, I think it describes INFJ so well.
Really balanced advice in terms of adding sensory activity the right way.
Thank you! ~ Nathan
Hey guys, do you always feel like an outsider, because you can see through things so easily? Maybe it's also due to my high IQ, but I often feel like I'm on a different dimensional plane than most of people. And than I have to communicate in their (petty) language to interact. Sometimes I just wish I could be with people that are on the same wavelength as me. It is so very rare. Sigh.
I grew up with ESTP and ESFP parents. I'm not sure if it strengthened my weak Se or made me freak out even sooner with sensory overload :-) A bit of both, I suspect.
Wow thats an interesting dynamic ~ Nathan
This is so incredibly useful. Thank you for this advice video, despite your comments at the end :)
I’m fairly certain I’m an INFJ (and not because 16 personalities says I am-I’ve been studying MBTI and jungian typology for a few years now, researched the cognitive functions, cross-referenced with socionics, read books by Meyers and Briggs, Berens, Kiersey, and Jung himself) and I’m pretty sure I’m Ni dominant, but one thing that makes me wonder is that being “in the moment” has never been a problem for me. This could be because of my ADHD, which divides my sense of time not into “past, present, future” but always “now” and “not now.” ADHD’s dopamine regulation issues also gives me an inclination to seek out more stimulating activities (although conversely after I’ve engaged in said activities all I want to do is hide in my room).
I’m really not sure, but for what it’s worth, all of my friends who are into typology say I’m an INXJ.