ENFJs - 12 Rules for Life
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- Опубліковано 27 лип 2024
- #enfj #16personalities #mbti
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Thanks ENFJs for being wonderful individuals, I love you so much!
-Isfp
It’s always cool to see other types watching these individual type videos ~ Nathan
Oh man, saying No is something I had to seriously grow in. I still find myself struggling to say it but my goodness does it bring so much more peace knowing you are not tied to a Yes.
Unfortunately the person I have the most difficult time saying "No" to is me! I see all these things I can accomplish without taking into account that I cannot do all of them at the same time!
I think it’s the most important word for ENFJs to make use of. The great thing about it is that you can always change your mind afterwards if you feel like the thing in question is doable. Trying to change your mind after reflexively saying yes is far more difficult! ~ Nathan
Facts
@@lovewho Hello Sir Nathan, I LOVE YOUR VIDS, they have really helped me _a lot._ As an ENFJ though, I'm having difficulty interacting with my ESFP friends in a more constructive, future focused(Ni) way. I don't wanna hinder their SE TE loop, they literally designed like that for a reason, and I value it for them, especially since they don't procrastinate like I do👌🏾😂, it's just I wanna give them food for thought as to how they can _maybe_ direct for themselves all of this tactile progress and action and with my Ti explanatory nature, it can blow over their heads with their Fi bias and Ti polar. They are my friends tho, and I wanna at least give them a couple of ideas that can be both genuine to them as helpful for their future, either it's wisdom on just doing things, or how the world progresses or sumn else that u think could help them in a "12 rules/advice/suggestions for life, ESFP" Thanks 👌🏾👑🤙🏾
I definitely feel like ENFJs (as I am one) we tend to want to pick others up, even at the expense of our overall happiness. I see that as a main theme of this video, thanks Nathan!
I would say that is indeed the case! It is a difficult thing to overcome since helping other people, or picking them up as you put it, is a genuinely beautiful thing to do. Resisting that urge can feel somehow wrong, but it is important to do when it comes at your own expense ~ Nathan
@@magnificaluxso basically you cut off your friendship because of their struggle with people-pleasing? That doesn’t sound very nice. If your well-being and safety were impacted because of it then that would make sense to me.
My husband is an ENFJ.... he is amazing. He's an entrepreneur and has done so much for his employees over the years. Helping people move, getting vehicles, loans... even at his own expense, skipping a paycheck personally. He has been burned many times but he still has this inate urge to be there for people. As an INFP, i am amazed at his ability to connect people with each other for networking and his command of social situations, and nurturing relationships for years. His kindness is unmatched. ❤❤❤ definitely blessed to have my ENFJ
The few ENFJs I know work very, very hard for other people, have incredible intuition about others, are great teachers, and don't take good enough care of themselves. Overall great advice.
It can be a really dangerous combination. You know, I think that every ENFJ needs an ENFJ in their life! ~ Nathan
@@lovewho LOL YEAH
A great video, thank you for helping us ENFJs out, lord knows we can help others and struggle helping ourselves.
That is indeed the archetypical issue that ENFJs encounter. Hopefully this video had some worthwhile info in it! ~ Nathan
ENFJS TO RULE THEM ALL
Wow, I never realized we can get into ISTP mode cause that’s exactly how I feel right now.
Also I personally feel so guilty thinking of relationships as transactions but I know it keeps me in check and I’m a healthier place in life if I do…
Always love your content - thank you for sharing. ❤
Skimming through the comments starting out watching this I was like relationships as transactions whaat? Are we being scammed by ENFJs 😅
Makes a lot more sense now, as the opposite of ENFJ at least letter wise, I'd say ENFJs have been quite useful in helping me learn people, their intentions, tells and feelings much better.
In one of his latest Frank James talked about the opposite types and I definitely agree there are things the types can help each other with. I'd say even the most introverted types like ISTP will help when asked, I wouldn't think of it as being transactional tbh but helping a friend. Sadly in my experience the friendships almost never lasts, but hey at least both learned something and became a little better.
I think that a person will resemble many different types depending on the situation. This is particularly the case with types that share the same functions as each other (so ISTPs, ESTPs and INFJs in this case) ~ Nathan
As someone married to an INTJ, I think I use this mode a lot. It helps me communicate better with someone who can't readily understand my Fe. It's not how I operate functionally, but I can switch over to explaining my plans or actions reflectively in this mode.
@@YellaSpiceFamily WOW! After reading your comment that makes sense. The first thing I thought was my husband is an INTP and I wonder if that’s why I get into that mode as well.
I CAN’T believe how timely and fitting these are! For instance 2 days ago I decided I needed to learn how to adopt new good habits! You said it so beautifully. Thank you! Now, need to listen to it all again.
It’s important to go slow with these things. Trying to make many changes at the same time can be overwhelming ~ Nathan
Yay, more content for enfj ❤️
Thanks for these rules, Nathan. Despite being an INFJ, I still identify strongly with ENFJs, and have even been mistyped as one on occasion. I find myself wanting to help everyone, but have learned that sometimes, people simply don't want your assistance, or they can't be helped.
Yes Trina Q. I hear you. Don't invest a lot in someone who doesn't want or can't accept your help, and select ways where you help others and help yourself at the same time. I am also INFJ, and those 2 lessons made my life so much better.
Are you guys here, bc Enfjs and Infjs are similar?
Well, if yes, plz help me. I am an Enfj, and I am very outgoing. I can't find joy in being introverted and cannot help myself therefore. How to stop being interested in people? Also, can't be infp whenevr I want. It comes when I am so disappointed of people and frustrated
@@rwbymoon3181 To me ENFJ and INFJ are similar, but E's fuel on being around others and I's need time alone to recover from being outgoing. Both are highly motivated to help people and to see their various perspectives.
My approach is not to try to change my motivations but to embrace them. Giving help to others while weighing in benefit to self.
Also, to accept and value people while knowing their negatives. If needed then move away from them, but don't expect of them higher standards than they have demonstrated.
WENZES has some good content for INFJs on UA-cam. Might be worth visiting.
@@bethiciaprasek9415 Yeah, you are right!
Sometimes I feel that I expect more, than originally needed. Thanks, bro:)
Are you an Enfj anyway?
@@rwbymoon3181 INFJ. I work to be more extroverted via meeting with different friends at least once per week for 9 months of the year. If I have to work so hard at being extroverted, definitely introverted.
Thank you for this! I either laughed or nodded over pretty much all of these. Your compassionate candor is so helpful. Being primarily relationally motivated in a world that rewards productivity has been such a challenge, as well. Then then there's trying to find a way to get relief through Se as a severely disabled person, knowing it's key to an ENFJ's self-preservation.
I’m starting to think that as AI becomes evermore common, having the kind of skillset that ENFJs do will be even more valuable in the future! Glad to hear that you enjoyed the video ~ Nathan
I always look forward to your content, esp what you say about ENFJs. This video just reaffirms for me that the resolutions i've set for this new year (having all relating to what u've said in the video) feel the most personal to me and are on the right track.
Thank you so much this video is so helpful for me and to other enfj's too.
I love helping other people to the point that I neglected myself. But this video enlightened me to know when to set boundaries.❤
Thank you. Relate so much and sure this is gonna impact my life in a positive way.
Thanks so much Nathan! I don't usually comment but this time I had to. Wonderful video, it confirms that I'm indeed an ENFJ and gives astonishing advice, for example about boundaries. It shows that you took the time to distill ENFJs' insights. Great job!
Man this resonates with me so well. Ty Ty so much for this
This is so accurate and needed right now! Thank you Nathan! :)
Glad to hear it! It’s always cool when a video lands at the right time for someone! ~ Nathan
I have waited for this series!! Please continue with making videos about each type!
I’m glad that I got around to doing it! There will definitely be more individual type videos in the future ~ Nathan
Thank you 💗 ENFJ over here.
Thank you for this ❤
Hope you enjoyed it! ~ Nathan
Thank you so much for this 🤍
I’ve been meaning to do this video for a long time, so it’s really nice to finally get it out there into the world. Hopefully you got something worthwhile from it! ~ Nathan
you deserve more likes and views
Intuition: moving through life in tune with the extracted idea behind the sensory information one receives. 1. The mind stores such extracted ideas and assembles them into a database. 2. Finds similarity between one extracted idea and another one in situations. 3. Puts things into context.
Every thing you said in this I’ve learned over the years wooo and it came at a price of falling hard on my butt and being burned consistently in relationships
Same....... hmmm
Great content as always and always consider more great INTJ content.
Thank you for this comment. I always enjoy making INTJ videos so there will definitely be more of those in the future on here ~ Nathan
I appreciate your advice, Nathan. It definitely makes sense for my life as an ENFJ. Much appreciated!
Glad you enjoyed it and very cool to see you on the Discord server whenever you pop on! ~ Nathan
@Love Who thank you Nathan. I have enjoyed the discord server. I will definitely jump on from time to time. 😊
As an ISTP I'd say some of the people who really helped me realize people's intentions and actions the most, before I got more experience myself have probably been ENFJs.
Which is something I appreciate because it is not something that came natural to me, I feel in most of the friendships I tried to teach them something too or at least be a reasonable shoulder to lean on in crisis.
However usually the friendships never lasts, it usually goes like they try to tell me something isn't going to work - like a friendship with someone else for instance. And I usually am a driven man in what I chose to do, like if I have some goal I will work hard towards it with a singular focus.
So it's like the analogy of an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object. I carry on the way they advice against and either I do something which offends them, like not catching up in great detail or unknowingly ignore them, or they offend me or someone I care about.
Keep going Nathan ! Your channel is one of the best , you have a unique attitude and your tone is fantastic...Wish you all the best
Infp•••
This is really lovely to hear. Thank you for this comment! ~ Nathan
I love this, I am not alone as my son has test as ENFJ too and his twin is INFJ. Love no 2 and no 7 so much.
I recently managed no.8 & 9, such a relief for myself. So grateful for your in depth research for us ENFJ. It would be lovely to welcome you and all to enjoy my humble UA-cam videos in your own happy time. No worries if not, I’m happy either ways !!! My sincerest Best wishes for you and all your viewers 💖💖💖✨✨✨
Precious suggestions!
I became much more healthier and happier after I stopped to want to help people so badly.
I was just been codependent.🤪
It’s great that you realised this and made the change. That’s not an easy thing to do ~ Nathan
Ok, I can see it. I'll meet you in DMs for a more thorough critique if, on reflection, something bubbles up.
Boundaries are a big, big deal for ENFJs. We are easy marks for manipulative, abusive people, until we are burned so badly we learn to erect boundaries to protect ourselves.
Great job😊😊
This whole ISTP subconscious thing is a revelation…my ex ISTP partner drove me mad talking about discipline and consistency and focus and not being out socialising all the time and always accused me of not having boundaries and being too sensitive and indirect. Lol. So he wass sent to teach me 😂
Please do a video on enfj enneagram 8.
It's so rare, but so interesting.
Keep up with the video, they are amazing 😁
Thank you so much 12 rules for enfj like me .. especially power of and trust but verify concept.
I'm just here to be surrounded by my favourite type, don't mind me.
@@Tified967 ISTP.
Really?? As an ISTP? My most recent ex boyfriend is an ISTP and he is still basically my best friend (we try to stay away from each other but it’s not working 😂). Even though I like ISTPs (my sister is also an ISTP), I think as ENFJs we commonly feel that we are somehow “too much” for many of the types, so I’m still surprised to hear you say that 🤷🏼♀️
@@karenhanson359 On the contrary, for me the emotional intelligence of Enfjs in particular, makes them chill. I can be myself and they understand I'm not trying to be dickish. They see my stand offishness for what it really is and don't take offense. They don't pry, not in an intrusive way. I wouldn't even call it prying, more like inspecting certain areas, applying that intelligence by knowing when they can go a bit further and when to leave something alone. I admire their ability to adapt on the fly with that information. Interactions with them feel organic and honest. I love the warmth they give off too.
For someone so cynical, it's a nice surprise when I encounter one.
I do want to shake the shit out of them sometimes and empower them to say no though. I'm very conscientious of their ability to mask, so I make sure I don't take up much of their time, cause god knows how many other people they have on their radar.
For an INTP, Nathan has a pretty good grasp on pulling at the heart strings. You got me on that last part huh😭
Great video ! Much wisdom here! // 32 M ENFJ
Hope you enjoyed it! ~ Nathan
Could you make an Entj version when your able pleasee i love how you make tips for the personalities
I will definitely do this at some point yes! ~ Nathan
May you consider a "12 rules/advice/suggestions for life , ESFP" , I'm an ENFJ friend and I'm(and others are..) struggling.🍃💜🤙🏾👌🏾
Thank you so, SO much if you decide to do this. Ofc, this is your channel, and we respect your decision if you don't do this, just saying it would do a potato good if you even put out 2 pieces of advice and called it "2 suggestions for life, ESFP"
Ps. Thanks for reading this far🙏🏾
I am an ENFJ and yes....good rules
Si trickster can't form a habit, but Se can develop a routine.
Why did you drop this at the end of my lunch 😢
I will be more mindful of your schedule in future ~ Nathan
Thank you
I need to take a class to understand all of this vocabulary
Number 7 is uuuugh. I think I have a tendency to instinctively "Lycurgus" everyone around me without even really realizing it. Lycurgus was the ruler of Sparta - Plutarch describes his methods as, essentially, the strategic removal of temptation. I've often wondered how much growth I'm robbing my people of by forever intuitively herding them away from really falling on their face. 🙁
It’s a difficult thing to do, tough love always is. There are times when it is the best move though ~ Nathan
@@lovewho I think I've always defined tough love as confrontation-based: providing accountability, if you will. That's an active thing: I have 0 problem with that. But allowing people to be their worst in order to grow from failure is a passive thing and 200% outside of my oh so hands on wheelhouse. So hard!
Can you post a video about shadow/unconscious focused types? Like unconscious focused ENFJ and INFP
Good video
ENFJ type 2w1 here. Thanks for the advice.
I’m also ENFJ 2w1!
It would seem that’s the most common enneagram type for ENFJs ~ Nathan
I think I’m 1W2… but that’s still up for debate 😃 It’s not clear cut like my ENFJ lol
ENFJ A+ 4w8
I want an ENFJ! ❤❤ - Infp
I don't have a problem saying no. My issue is the consequences that will happen when I say no. Also, if I ever have a problem saying no, it's because the person I'm talking to is insane. So it's probably smarter not to argue with them. Because arguing will only cause them to provoke me more. If I am encountering a normal situation, then I'm not having an issue saying no. Like, so he asked me if I liked yerba mate. I have no problem saying no. But if somebody tells me that I have to Chuck a yerba mate at someone's head. Then I'm not going to say no, because that's so insane, that person is probably shouting and ranting. So instead of saying no to a crazy person, I'm just going to discreetly hide the Yerba mate so nobody gets hit in the head with a can of tea
💯👌✅✅✅
Hope you enjoyed the video! ~ Nathan
I am a ninja!!
I'm a self starter
What's an "SE?" It was mentioned in point #8?
Extroverted sensing
Why am I emotional?
Same problems😁
I shall take this as a good sign… ~ Nathan
It is a good sign, I feel very seen in this video. You’re a gift Nathan, at least to me ❤
The discord server invite doesn' work.
Does it work when trying it from other videos? I’ve heard some people saying this but when I try it it tends to work ~ Nathan
WHAT THE FUCK IS FE?
Extroverted feeling