Supporting a child with parent visits in foster care
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- Опубліковано 28 чер 2024
- Visitation is one of the most important parts of being a foster parent. They are often court ordered, so it is a requirement for us to help facilitate.
Parent visits can be hard on kids for a variety of reasons. In this video I walk through some of those situations and some considerations on what may help support the child and what may not help through. I cover:
- When a parent is not visiting and their child is missing them
- When a parent no shows a visit
- When a child doesn't want to attend a parent visit
- When there are elevated behaviors after the visit
How do you support visits in your home? Let me know in the comments!
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00:00 Intro
00:33 Visits Not Happening
01:54 Parents Not Showing Up
03:01 Child Resisting Visits
04:30 After Visit Support Needs
#fostercare #fosterparenting #fosterparent
It was always terrible when one kids had visits and another didn’t.
There's an idea for a video for her - how to support the kid who's not having visits while their foster sibling is.
@@ettinakitten5047 What a good idea. When I had several kids in care, it was something I had to navigate very carefully.
My mom couldn't have court ordered visits because she had extensive brain damage after a drug overdose so the whole process of her working a plan never started. Most foster parents never drove me to go see her (I kept being placed further and further away, so it was eventually a 1 hour drive each way). Even though she obviously wasn't still using drugs, there was a massive stigma some foster parents had and other just didn't want to waste an entire Saturday driving me to see me mom. This is one of the things I'm the most bitter about since my mom passed away shortly after I aged out and I barely was able to see her since visits weren't required. I had so many foster parents tell me BS like "my mom was working on getting better and I'd see her when she was better". But they had absolutely no idea about the extent of my mom's brain injury. They heard drug overdose and thought my mom was in rehab not she couldn't walk and lost most of her hearing. I know my case was unique, but with fentanyl overdoses becoming an epidemic, I'm worried there's kids in foster care having the similar problems now.
My heart goes out to you! It seems you stood strong! ❤
Your mother loved you very much. We are all born wretched sinners and The Bloodshed Atonement of Christ Jesus on Calvary is the comfort in knowing that through His Grace we have been delivered.
I'm so sorry.
My mother didn't have any medical issues, but the reason i was taken away was basically i was hit once with a hair brush and they thought my mom was abusing my multiple handicapped brother. Visits were court ordered but i only remember once that they took me to visitation, and it wasnt because of my mom, they just didn't take me. After awhile i thought i wouldn't be able to go home and that my mom would die before i could go home, thats what finally got them to let me go home for good. The only time i saw my lawyer was before the court date and never saw the "child advocate". Once they tried to blame my mom for missing a visit because she missed the train coming home from work, and the judge who actually had brain cells told them that they cant expect my mom not to work.
I'm so sorry you went through that. It was wrong of them not to attend to that basic need you had. Seeing her when she gets better?! We wouldn't do that if someone was sick for different reasons, and this should have been no different. *hugs*
not a foster mom, but I like watching for the language and approach you use with kids :)
ty for watching and following along!
Same here! I never plan on being a parent either, whether bio or adopted, but I do have two nibblings (my brothers kids) and I was raised in an emotionally neglectful home so watching these videos not only helps me heal my inner child but helps me be a better auntcle to my nibblings ❤️ (I’m non binary, that’s why I say auntcle, lol)
Same!
Does it make sense to have a specific play event (backyard? Park?) And not to mention if you know there's a big risk the parent won't show?
I just came here to say that, coming from a turbulent broken home, watching your videos is such a catharsis for me. The way you provide calm, stability, and maturity for these kids going through a hard thing is a beautiful thing to see. I feel healed knowing there are kind and competent people like you, to help kids in a way I never was. You rock and I see you ❤
I wasn’t in foster care but my parents divorced when I was too young to even remember. There was one year my dad was supposed to pick me up the day before Christmas Eve and he never showed up. My mom told me “I guess he didn’t want you” and it absolutely broke me. It turned out he got hit by a deer and totaled his truck on the way there, which she knew but didn’t tell me. He tried to get me the next day when he had everything in order and she wouldn’t allow him because he missed his pickup time. I know this is something Laura would never ever do but it’s a great example of what not to do. I still think I have trust issues because of this and similar other scenarios
Omg that’s terrible. I’m so sorry 🖤
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Parental alienation is a horrible thing, and you deserved better.
I honestly think it's messed up that children are forced to go to these visits, even if they don't want to, just because the parent wants them. Parent doesn't have to go, but the kid does. This means the system is forcing children to spend time with a person who has often done horrible things to them. In some cases, things so bad we cannot even imagine them; and we're making them interact with that person. There's a reason these kids were removed from their parents - almost none of them come from normal, happy homes.
Meanwhile, the parent doesn't have to show up if THEY don't feel like it. The message we're sending, to an often ab-sed child, is "Your feelings don't matter. Only your parents' do." Like hypothetically, if I was the kid, it wouldn't matter to me how many platitudes everyone offered - because I was still being forced to do it, and everyone knew it was against my will, and the fact that they were forcing it anyway would tell me they didn't care.
Also maybe it's because of my personal experience - but while I understand your need to form close bonds with the parents, I personally feel that can be counter-productive to the child's needs. Because I've SEEN how fast and how easily some of the most horrible parents will turn on the charm when they're talking to other adults. From your pov the parent might seem totally normal - but from the kid's, they might be seeing you get close to someone who literally r-ped them or tied them to a bed for days or h-t them. That can be incredibly distressing, because now it looks like you're friends with Mom, and thus you won't believe them.
I just feel like this system is so flawed. I really love that you're trying to make it better, where you can. But I think there is something so flawed about this reunification approach. Because that's not always the best option - in fact, when the child has been removed from the home due to ab-se, I would argue it's rarely the right move. Often those kids are just being thrown headlong back into awful situations, because the reality is that ab-sers almost never change. They FAKE change, just long enough to get their victims back, and then they're right back into it.
As an adult struggling with CPTSD from childhood abuse your videos are so helpful. They can make me grieve for what I didn't have, but I'm also so happy that there are kids getting what they need. And it provides a model for reparenting myself.
❤❤ glad it helps you help. I find that too x
I just want to let you know that while I am not a foster parent now, I work in early childcare and I think your videos are really helpful in dealing with children in general, especially when you can never assume what their family and home life is like. I think part of why I really like your content is helping me learn language that establishes my role as a caregiver and *not* a parent, in a way that is supportive and kind
When I worked as a child protection/family services worker, kids would often ask me to promise to do things for them, such as take them shopping, or to Tim Horton's, or visit a friend's home. I would make a point of telling the kids I never promised anything, not even that the sun would rise in the east the next morning, because you can never tell what might happen. The only thing I would promise them was to do my best to make something happen for them if I could. Once you showed the kids you could be trusted to follow through---maybe not on everything but on most things, because some things might be beyond your control---they became less likely to ask for promises.
Are you Canadian? You said Tim Horton's.
@@letitiajeavons6333 Yes, I'm Canadian, and going to Tim Horton's and ordering doughnuts and hot chocolate became a time-honoured tradition for a lot of the kids-in-care I worked with.
You are such a gift for ANY kind of caregiver or parent. Everyone should watch!
I really appreciate how you avoid stigmatizing the parent(s). Yes, there are those who are, frankly, awful people who should never be around any children but I have to think they are the minority. If I were a parent with a kid in your care and I happened across your videos, I like to think I’d feel confident my kid was in a good, supportive environment.
Honestly, the visits I was forced to go to with my dad after he was convicted of r*pe me as a kid still haunt me and I'm 40. I will never understand why the court orders these things. It just further taught me that I had no say over what happens to me.
I was one of those kids that would see my mom at court ordered visits and then go back with the foster carers and start acting up…because I wanted to be with my mom. So it was usually days worth of acting up on my part and not all of them knew how to handle it. Videos like this are helpful I think for foster care parents in knowing how to deal with some of the stuff that can come up in these situations.
I wholeheartedly concur on not making promises about when they will see the parent next. I’ve seen so many unexpected things happen, the parent being in an accident, going to jail, getting into an inpatient rehab, sadly even passing away that even when things are going really well, it’s just better not to.
Laura, you are a breath of fresh air. Relative caregivers seem to have a lot of problems handling visitation, so this should help them as much as foster parents. Thank you so much for providing this support so kids who have been traumatized can experience some calm, serenity, and validation of their feelings. Explaining not to make promises and to try to manage expectations is so important. You are a gem!
Wow this is absolutely wonderful advice and thank you. Im considering becoming a foster parent after I say goodbye to my husband who is palliative with brain cancer. I am a nurse and have beautiful foster sister and the opportunity to be a good person for another child is meaningful to me. Thank you
may you and your family be blessed with kindness and good times 🥰 I hope the best for you!
I just remember this movie i recently watched on UA-cam but is from the late 80s when a lil girl would throw the biggest fit everytime the caseworker picked her up for visit but the behavior was blamed on the foster parents. She was returned to her dads care and than removed less than 2 months later cause it was finally discovered he was abusing her during visits and yhats why she didn't want to go. The child service were trying to say the foster parents were spoiling her thats y
Not a foster parent or kid (not really), but i used to have supervised access visits with my biological father as a kid (and my mother a bit later on) due to custody agreements. I hated going to see my father. We really had no control over what we did or where. And honestly we didn't really get along very well. (later, when i was allowed to stay at his parents' house and he'd visit me there he would just...not come. He even stopped calling me. When i was eight i decided I'd had enough and said I didn't want to go anymore). The visits with my mother were better because we got along better (at the time) and had more to talk about. And even then i mostly wanted to read or play a board game and talk about what I'd been reading recently.
I have a girl who has weekend visits with mom. (We are foster parents. She currently lives with a kinship guardian. We have stayed in contact with her. We run “respite” for the guardian since we have been in her life since she was 3 months old. She is currently 5 and a half)
She never wants to go. She ended up sharing 3 different situations where mom has left her and sister alone. (5 and 3 years old) CPS is involved again but they are still making her go on visits. It’s really hard to help her feel like she is going to be safe.
5 and a half might still be a little young for this, but I have seen that giving pretty young children a simple phone (one that only calls, no smartphone) can really help with this. That way they know that they can always call a trusted adult if they need one, which can give them a lot of security, even if they don't end up needing to ever use it. Some accessibility features can also help make them more accessible to young children, like preprogramming the phone numbers.
Yes we have thought about a kid watch too. The struggle is I’m worried her mom will take it all away from her and not send it back. She will sell it.
Her mom is driving a narrative right now that we don’t like her. She is hurting. She was raised in the system. She is also only 21 years old but we have know her since she was 15 and pregnant. We have loved and supported her for 5 years. She also knows CPS is on to her leaving her kids on visits. She doesn’t trust anyone. We have told her if she needs a babysitter to call us.
ARENT THE VISITS SUPERVISED BY A CASE WORKER ?
thankyou
@@jasmineflower9879 no unfortunately she is back with mom but just got removed again.
@@stephmatswife Thanks for the Clarity .
All of this can be used to speak to your inner child
When I was young I was in foster care and my foster mum watched your channel and she was the one that showed it to me and it really helped me through tough times and I still keep in touch with my foster mum
You are a rockstar in the way you model talking to kids. Thank you!
I had to explain to my five-year-old (now a teen) TWICE that if he did not go to visits, I could be punished by having him taken from me and given to the very person he was afraid to visit. Now visits are canceled all the time on the weakest of excuses; no more efforts to make them up, either. It’s tragic, and it makes perfect sense that he has some issues because of it. 😔
Any ideas for how teachers can support students with visits scheduled in the middle of the school day?
This can really vary by age... often keeping a predictable schedule and being reliable can be the best things. Predictability = safety. So if they can rely on you to have your same supportive tone, the schedule in the class will be the same, etc., that can be helpful. For younger kids, they may benefit from extra snacks, bathroom reminders, movement breaks, or outside time. For older kids, they may benefit from extended deadlines on homework or projects, fidget or sensory supports, breaks/down time, creative outlets. Just brainstorming! If there are teachers here, please feel free to chime in! :)
Thanks bunches! Predictability is key for all our kids but easy to forget about in the chaos of the classroom. I appreciate you! @@foster.parenting
Thank you for mentioning CASA! As someone who has been a volunteer CASA, I think that this example (offering to loop them in with or for the child about a stressful situation) is a great way to make use of the fact that a child typically continues to have the same CASA throughout the process even though their placement or caseworkers might change, and the CASA is assigned only one case at a time, whereas others involved may be responsible for many different children. This fact can make them a more familiar or approachable person for some children in care, particularly just after a change in placement or case management. Additionally, there's the possibility of communicating the child's wishes to both the CASA _and_ the caseworker, to increase the likelihood they are heard.
You are so knowledgeable and have kind approach, your video inspire me to achieve my goal to foster teens. I am myself healing for the purpose of fostering, I've experienced complex trauma as a child and I felt so alone. So my wish when my child goes to university is to foster mostly teens, since its a demographic in my around my area that is the hardest to foster.
You are such a kind and caring lady. The children are fortunate to have you ❤
Thank you so much for these! They are extremely helpful! Thank you for your kindness towards them (kids and parents alike) and the effort you put into these videos! Really appreciate it :)
Love the advice you give!
Thank you for making these videos! My husband and I want to foster to adopt and I love all the information you provide in your videos.
I feel like acknowledging how the child feels would be nice and help the child be able to express themselves better with the foster parent and make them feel heard. I might not be a foster parent myself.
I'm not a foster parent but I love your videos. I can imagine that you are a real stabilizing force in the kids' live at a time when they really need it.
How did you learn to talk to kids in such a nice way?
Thanks for sharing such great suggestions that demonstrate cognitive flexibility & emotional stability.♡
I think it's interesting that your highlighted comment is from a (now grown) kid that blames her foster parents. The anger and bitterness always gets aimed at the foster parents, not the terrible circumstances, birth parents' choices or whatever. I hope if @KatTheo431 feels that strongly about how she was treated, she becomes a foster parent herself. Foster parenting is not for the faint of heart, and the world can always use more good ones. And yes, I'm a foster parent.
I’m 15 adopted no foster care or anything but I almost wish my parents would have modeled this kind of parenting
Also can you say they may be running late
Thanks!
💛💛💛
Any advice for an autistic foster child who is terrified of parents for whom all professionals have recommended 24hr notice and a set plan, the judge has ordered 24hr notice and "strongly suggested" a set plan, and DCYF is refusing to have the visit supervisor provide the plan to the child because "it's making him think his parents are lying when they change things last minute" instead of just, like... not letting the parents wander off-site with the child who's terrified or change the visit location mid-visit? And now the foster parent is being labeled as "hostile to parents" and "objecting reunification" because they're advocating for the child's needs to be met instead of the parent's desire to go grocery shopping mid-visit, despite the fact that the foster parent has provided 8 out of the 30 visits that parents have attended in the past 18 months along with about 15 zoom calls that were provided outside of the court order when parents were refusing visitation.
Parents aren't really the issue here. They need firmer boundaries and to have the child's needs communicated to them. Something DCYF has refused to do.
Wondering whether there is a CASA system or anything similar where you are? Not every volunteer CASA is equally good at it, of course, but a big part of what a CASA is supposed to do is being the child's advocate. If there is such a system there and none have been assigned to your case, I wonder if there is a way to request that? If there is already a CASA involved, what if anything have they done toward having this child's needs met?
@@tejaswoman We've got a CASA, but she's a bit... hands off
Im a foster mom but nothing is like you saying I’m glad you have a great experience the state that I live Dcf nothing but 😤
It seems super awkward that a parent would visit the foster home. I think in the UK they would meet up at a family centre.
As a person that had gone through this the social workers should be more kind to the parents. It's not always the parents fault not getting to visit there child.
I wonder: How do you explain to a child: "what your parent did to you, is so bad they are not allowed seeing you.", when the child, who has only known that kind of behaviour, doesn't see anything wrong with it and misses the person, because they are the family they have known their whole life?
It might be separate conversations, and if the child accepts "we can't see mom and dad right now" without insisting on knowing why, that might be fine for younger kids. But for older kids or for younger ones who want more, maybe saying that the parent isn't able to keep them safe right now would make the most sense? It's true, without saying that the parent is the cause of danger. If the kid hasn't processed that what happened to them is really not okay, they probably aren't going to be receptive to the idea that their parent is an unsafe person.
If the parent is in jail/awaiting trial/in prison, you might be able to talk about that
Love your point about differentiating "isn't able to keep them safe right now" from the parent being unsafe. In addition to the points you made, it also has the advantage of being a neutral way for the kid to think about it in order to have a little necessary emotional distance.
The "what happened to you was wrong" is the expertise of a trauma therapist, it can take a long time for people to really understand that, even as adults. A child who has been abused should be seeing a therapist who specialises in trauma, that shouldn't be the job of a foster parent.
Girrrrl I can tell you got a new camera😏🥰
hahaha yes!!! thank you for noticing :) I have someone helping me film some of my longer ones now. Agencies have been using them in their trainings so I figured they should be a little nicer haha I am a little self-conscious about it because you can see my zits in 4k now hahaha
@@foster.parentingDon't worry, I was way more interested/focused on your content than your 4k zits. Didn't even notice them. ;)
@foster.parenting, you can see them because you know your face, most people just see how gentle you look as you model talking to children. Those of us who can't help noticing appearance are amazed you do so much and manage to look so good
What happens with kids who flat out refuse to visit? I'm guessing that depends on age, but I can't see how it'd be ok to physically force a child to go against their will.
Personally, I woudn't transport a child against their will - it isn't safe with them kicking and screaming and potentially unbuckling in the car. Of course, I would do everything I can to support the visits. In the moment, I would call the worker and tell them what is happening. They may come themselves to get the child or reschedule or ask for a virtual visit. It really depends on age. In some places, after a certain age, a child can sometimes refuse visits completely.
@@foster.parenting that makes a lot of sense. Kids have feelings too, sadly many adults don't respect that. A kid fighting that hard to not go has a reason.
Why wouldn't a parent be allowed to have visits? I'm assuming in cases where there's been abuse they might not be allowed, but what determines if/when they get visits?
The judge decides visitation. Sometimes there is a protective order which does not allow any contact between a parent and a child.
@@foster.parenting Oh, okay! Thank you :)
Also sometimes the parent is incarcerated, in inpatient rehab or psychiatric hospitalization
Another situation could potentially be if drugs are a factor. They might have to test negative for a period of time first and maybe they haven't.
Hello, I’ve been watching your videos to work with foster parents of the clients I see. I wanted to ask, what would you say when kids make judgements/comments on what they think happened after a parent does not show up for visitation? Especially kids who make negative remarks like “oh, mom probably forgot about me because of drugs” for example. Thanks in advance!
My grandparents have full custody of me. When I was 7 or 8 my father promised to show up and marked it on my calendar, and never showed up because he went missing until I was 11. My grandparents didn't tell me why. I wish someone could have explained.
We never know when bios are going to show/no show so when the kiddos are picked up I always tell the oldest they are going for a car ride. Just in case they don’t show he don’t get their hopes up.
Genuinely curious, if you asked “do you mind if we share those concerns with your CASA…?” (Assuming safety was not a concern), what would your reaction be if the child only wants you to know and doesn’t feel comfortable with it being shared? Of course you’d aim to understand the reason behind it, but if they were still adamant…?
You mentioned CASAs in this one - could you give any tips for those considering becoming one?
I just interviewed a veteren CASA - You can read with a free trial if you need it! www.patreon.com/posts/q-casa-and-youth-93072685
I would say look into your local system(s) and attend an orientation. After I started training to be a CASA, I told my elderly mother I thought she could be a good one as well. At first she was concerned there might be a maximum age, but I looked into it and found as long as she had the necessary elements, age was not a barrier. She wasn't sure if she was up for it, so I got her to attend the orientation. That was encouraging, but she still wasn't sure she could do it. I pointed out that she could always sign up for the training, as all it cost was her time and effort; worst case scenario, she'd find out it wasn't for her, no harm done, and certainly the organization understood that not everybody who completed the training would go on to become an advocate. She ended up being sworn in a couple of months after I was and we partnered on all of our cases. We were assigned babies and small children each time, which was more comfortable for her because she wasn't sure how she would have managed being the advocate for a teenager who might find her unrelatable. (Personally, I suspect she would have done fine - she's done well with every one of my niblings no matter what age.) When are most recent case ended, part way into the pandemic, we decided not to take in your case for a little while. My guess is that I will end up going back within a year or two, whether or not she opts to resume.
If you go on with the training, over time you will probably encounter people in your life who turned out to have been advocates at some point. We found one of my dad's cousins was an active CASA and one family friend had been one, but eventually had a case in which she felt strongly the child should not have been reunited and the outcome had been poor. That had led to her ceasing CASA work, which I can understand despite thinking it a pity. Whether or not you pursue it, once you learn a little more about it, if the local program is good you will find yourself recommending others as well. And that's good for everybody.
Wow, thank you for this very detailed reply!
Any advice for an infant with missed and canceled visits?
👍👍👍👍❤
I have been watching your shorts for so long! My daughter had to go live with my sis in law due to my stupid unforgivable battle with addiction. Thank I’ve been clean 3 1/2 years. She’s been led to think awful things about me for so long she now wants nothing to do with me. For the first two years she missed and loved me with a vengeance. I hate to say it but my in-laws have turned her against me. To me that is unforgivable I wouldn’t in a million years do anything in that situation to make a child go against it’s parent! Her dad my husband died when she was 2. His sis wanted my daughter since then. She’s now 13 1/2. And I’m struggling. It’s hard to be mad at my daughter. It hurts me so bad I’m glad she’s happy. She lives in a gorgeous home. Does all the dance, plays,gymnastics etc I probly don’t have money for. They have in ground pool. How can I compete? It’s not right. And I miss her so badly. I can’t explain it Anyway sorry for that! I love your channel so much. You’re doing work that I didn’t realize was needed so badly! Your bringing a voice to a group of kids and adults that get pushed under the rug !! Love you and keep it up!! 💘
I'm so glad you're sober, and I'm so sorry about your daughter. The crappy thing about addiction is that it hurts not only the person suffering with it, but also all the people in their lives. I know my husband has had a hard time forgiving his aunt for her bad behavior, the missed holidays and holidays ruined with drama, etc. I don't know what contact you've had with your daughter or in-laws already, but if you haven't apologized already and left an offer in their hands to reach out, maybe give it a go - something like "I know that while my addiction was hurting me, it was also hurting you. I know there were times when I let you down, said or did shitty things, or hurt you in other ways that I may not have seen or may not remember. I am sorry, and I hope you can take me at my word when I say that. I want to have a relationship with you, but I know you might not be ready now even if I am. This offer will stand, no matter how long it's been. I will always love you and want to be in your life until the day I die"
@@harmonicaveronica thank you. 😌❤️
What if a child has lice but they also don’t like there hair being touch
It would be helpful if you had how to talk to a tren vs a younger child
What if the foster child is not religious but as a foster parent you are
The goal is usually reunification, so it's best to maintain whatever the beliefs of their family are, even if their family are atheists! I think it's fine to explain to the child about your religion, but make it clear they don't have to participate. Like:
Our family is Christian. That means that we believe in God and that he created the world and loves everyone. Before we eat we pray and say thank you to God for bringing this food into our lives. It's okay if you just sit quietly while we pray. On Sunday mornings, we go to church. If you come with us there is a playroom for children, just like daycare but only for an hour or two
Those were all reveletively easy situations. While I appreciate the approach, it's all directed at children under 8 years old. What about 10 year old who refuses to see the family the matter what? Why? She hates them. Try doing one aimed at pre-teens and teenagers.
In some places, kids at a certain age can refuse visits. I would talk to the worker to understand the policy. A therapist, visit coach, or even a transport service can help support too.
@foster.parenting Law is until she is twelve. They are aware of the situation.. she refuses every month..
Are you a foster parent?
Any other coping strategies that don't involve take out pizza, burgers, fries, ice cream and TV? I hear those recommended in nearly all of your videos and it really makes me worried for the kids. Don't they have any more interests today? Even parks or playgrounds - I see people coming there for literally 5-15 minutes and done. Stay at least an hour, let your kid play.. you just spent more time getting dressed and driving there than playing 😢
She said deep breaths, bubble bath, playing game, putting together a puzzle and making a drawing for parent or sibling.
A person in crisis - adult or child - will have trouble in engaging in hobbies that require focus, patience, determination, etc. Down regulation is often short
After a visit might not be the right time for focus or really getting engaged in an interest, even if they normally like to. They may be very upset or stressed, so the goal is to find activities that help them to first calm down, so that *then* they can engage in the activities that they usually like.
First, the visits might be timed before meal times.
Second, the children might have trouble eating before the visits because of the anticipation, especially if they're worried their parent won't be there.
Third, she did give examples of playing games, going to the park, drinking water, taking deep breaths all just in this video
These kids have far bigger concerns going on than unhealthy food and sedentary habits. They're already going through culture shock being in a different home with a different caregiver, so anytime you can offer them something safe that they find familiar and comforting, that's great. Unless the kid is already suffering serious health issues due to obesity, eating healthy and getting lots of activity is going to be pretty low on the priority list when faced with issues like mental health challenges, developmental disabilities, grief, etc.
As for the people you see at parks and playgrounds, you have no idea what their situation is, where they're going afterwards, why they're leaving so soon, etc. Don't judge when you don't know what's really going on. For example, I've gone to play areas with my daughter to wait for a scheduled activity to start (often one that is *also* physically active). Should I leave an hour earlier or miss the activity we were actually planning to go to just so that some fat-phobic busybody thinks my kid has enough playtime within their field of view? Or, for all you know they could be a child with sensory hypersensitivities or not-readily-visible physical impairments that made it that they're only capable of enjoying a park or playground for brief periods before they're exhausted/overloaded/in pain, and their parents want them to go a little out of their comfort zone without pushing them too far. Or a million other very valid reasons that you have no idea about because you're just watching strangers at a park or playground and projecting your own biases on them.
@@ettinakitten5047 mental health improves with exercise and healthy eating habits. So yes, those two should be high on the priority list.
As for the playgrounds - the examples you are giving are true for the rare kids that have serious challenges, maybe 1/10 and that's stretching it. The exception doesn't explain the trend.
You fancy yourself as an authority on this subject? Are you sure it just not a subject for you to fill your own needs on camera? Socially needy for attention and affirmation? Maybe you should invest your time off camera....
People need to hear what she has to say. 🗣️ Expert or not, she motives and inspires people in a positive direction. - Keep fighting the good fight.