Termination of Parental Rights Explained (TPR in foster care)
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- Опубліковано 2 тра 2024
- This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp can connect you to a licensed therapist who can support you - all from the comfort of your own home. Visit betterhelp.com/fosterparenting and enjoy a special discount on your first month.
Here are the books mentioned in this video (affiliate links):
Families Change: goto.target.com/vNd7LA
Maybe Days: amzn.to/4baYoeR
What is Foster Care: goto.target.com/Kj5DRa
Delly Duck: amzn.to/3JBrfx0
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Hi Laura! I know you are not a "typical" youtuber, so you may not know this, but BetterHelp is actually not a very good company. In short, they are notorious for hiring unqualified "therapists" who often do more harm than good to the patients. There also have been some problems with the privacy of the medical information of the patient. The are many videos on UA-cam that talk about this, and the comments below them are also full of testimonies of people who had bad experiences with BH. Check them out. Since stressing the importance of taking care of you mental health is such a crucial part of the content you create, I don't think recommending BH is a good idea. I urge you to reconsider that. Lots of love and thank you for your work!
Hi Laura, feel free to delete this message but I just wanted to share that since March 2023 the FTC Federal trade commission has been investigating better help for selling private client data to advertisers like Snapchat and Facebook. I understand paying the bills, and I can agree with the message of the company. Their actions take advantage of the vulnerable.
As a kid (I’m an adult now) who worked hard to have their own parents’ rights terminated, please know it’s still hard for us even if it’s what we wanted.
❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
That totally makes sense! Probably some part of you still hoped your parents would change into healthy people for you, even though you knew it wasn't likely to happen. It reminds me of watching my parents grieving the death of parents they were no-contact with due to abuse.
not a foster kid but yes! my father was a terrible person but on occasion i still miss him or wish he was better, but i know that going no contact was the best decision for myself
I also want to add that I am sharing the profits from this video in support of my current donation drive for Foster Care Month - supporting kids in foster care, transition age youth, and homeless youth.
You have made a difference! I donated some squishmallows because of your Amazon list that you included in your video.
@@YellinUpAStorm THANK YOU!!!
Hey Laura, just a heads up. You should look into BetterHelp’s policy of selling patient information, including answers to intake questions.
My case was fairly unique and many judges may now not be so quick to approve TPR, but reunification was never possible for me due to the severity of my mom's disability (she was in a long term care facility after drug overdose and wasn't able to care for herself). Just because she couldn't care for me didn't mean I didn't want to see her, but foster parents acted like I was too stupid to understand TPR and that she wasn't my mom anymore. There wasn't a permanency option for me since I kept going from foster home to foster home and ended up essentially in a group home and aged out. I feel like there's this typical system for babies/toddlers/little kids and then all these random stuff for older kids and teens that's entirely different. Now it seems like for older kids/teens there isn't even any rush to do TPR unless there's some kinship placement.
I have an aunt and uncle who both run a house with children and teens in foster care. I absolutely adore the kids they take care of and they have our entire family around them when they are in their care. We play with them, talk to them and give them the love they need. They are loved when they are within our family.
We helped our 20 month old (who'd been with us 18 months and our son's family 2 months) transition to her bio grandma's when TPR became imminent. FD was oblivious but I had a hard time with the sadness of all the partings. Bio grandma has allowed us to stay in the picture as "grandparents" and while it is great to still see her, it remains hard to have to say goodbye.
My question is when TPR has occurred and the child has moved to her grandmother, what happens when the grandmother’s children (formerly the legal parents) want to see their parent??
@dianem1952 it's up to the grandma whether she is willing to see them/let them see the child or not. It just depends on her judgment of the situation.
As a former foster parent and now a CASA, you videos are very helpful. The mourning is real when a foster child moves on. But it’s helpful to know you’ve done your best for them. And the overall goal is what is best for the child. Thank you, Laura for sharing your experience and insight.
As a retired teacher I find your videos very informative. It might help to ask for a separate meeting to loop a teacher in appropriately lso they can support or be aware of a child’s changing situation
I’m a foster child u are so great we need more foster parents like you my foster parents we’re not nice n the dad was so bad to me n my brother thank you for being you
SOMEONE needs to pay attention here to this foster child. Thanks!
Thank you for all you do. As a CASA adovcate, your content helps me see foster parents or guardians in a different perspective. Thank you for book suggestions.
The examples you give where you’re acting out what to do (or not to do) are soooo helpful and immensely appreciated ❤❤❤
Hi Laura! I love your channel - I’m not a foster parent but it’s so fascinating to learn about the process and the ups and downs. It also helps me be much more supportive towards fostering families in our church ❤ keep up the amazing work 🎉
Thank you for being here and your care! 💛💛💛
I'd love to see Peter ("Now I Am Known") share this video in some way, because I find myself in the comments on his videos about his three adoptive children and their biological sister who is fostering with him, explaining tpr to the various commenters who ask why he hasn't adopted her, urge him to adopt her, ask whether he will be able to adopt her, etc. I think if more of them understood TPR, they would understand that unless and until TPR happens, adopting her is not on the table or timeline.
Thank you! These are very important things to consider when talking to different ages and kids with different permanency plans
I am a foster parent. Our current placement we have had since the hospital. She is 14 months. They just filed a TPR on parents for abandonment. The last PPH they changed the goal from return to parent to adoption. We knew this was coming. It’s so sad and exciting at the same time. She is our daughter but to know that she is losing the connection of her birth parents is also sad. Any books you could suggestion for her? She will be adopted before she even really remembers being in foster care.
Are you an adoptive home or are you only a foster home?
It will likely be a conversation that unfolds over time. The books I show in this video can help as she grows. Her therapist can help support these conversations and guide you. I know for some, the therapist will make a life story book with the child to help them make sense of the timeline. I am sure you are, but if not, please consider keeping connections with her biological family 💛
@@foster.parenting we are in contact with all 7 siblings. They have all been adopted. Mom is pregnant again. I have been writing to her since the first day and trying to keep a timeline as well. She had only seen her parents twice in her life.
Yes we will get her into therapy as soon as she is old enough to benefit from it. Thank you!
I was in foster care for the first 9 months of my life while my dad was trying to win custody of me. My biological mother had lost custody of all of her children because she was abusive. I was the only one to go to a biological father, the rest went into fostercare and were split up and adopted out. My advice is to always tell the truth to your child (age appropriate information) , not only about what happened with their adoption, but everything else in general. This is very important for your future relationship. And one thing I've learned is to not protect bad people. My dad made sure I knew what kind of person my biological mother was in my teens and I am eternally grateful. He owed nothing to her, and his job was to protect me from her. I don't know what your child's circumstances are, and I hope they aren't negative like mine, but I know a parents love can only help a child to a point. The advice you received to get a therapist should not only apply to your child but also to you and your spouse. I hope this insight from someone who experienced infant foster care and adoption (my dad married a woman who adopted me as a child) was helpful. If you have any questions, please ask! These videos are a great resource, but they only tell one side of the experience.
Friends had 2 different kids that they had for 3+ years and 2+ years that went to bio-dad. It was heartbreaking for everyone at that point. Now they have a girl who left NICU with them. TPR was done late March. Adopting journey has begun.
You are incredible and have unknowingly supported us along our journey. TPR may or not be in our future and I'm having all the feelings. Perfect timing for this video.
Your content is awesome and so helpful!
This is so informative! Great job, fantastic reporting!🌻🌼🐝 Keep it up 🙌
Thank you for this video and perspective ❤
Thank you for watching!
awww better help is a scam taking advantage of people :(
How so? I've never tried it
@@peachlue6100 IIRC the therapists aren’t required to be licensed and apparently a lot of people have had pretty negative experiences with it overall
@@PurpleNoir like when a betterhelp therapist tried get conversion therapy on a gay person (I think he was a teenager too but can’t be sure)
I’m hoping to adopt a child from foster care when I’m in a position to do so. This video was very helpful. Could you please make more videos about what to expect in the process of adopting a child who’s been through TPR.
Also a couple other videos I’d love to see are Mother’s Day advice and more movie reviews
hi Laura, love your channel, I really urge you to look into betterhelp and the controversies surrounding them. id highly suggest Mickey Atkins videos. I say this with love, Im sure that if you knew what the situation is,
you wouldn't accept the sponsorship due to the ethical concerns.
Gosh you are amazing
Hi! Can you make a video about setting boundaries with teenagers? Like having sleepovers with SOs, going to parties etc
I have a CASA orientation this onth!!! Not to foster, I cant yet, but tpo advocate
Thank you for signing up!! CASAs are important during the TPR process 💛
I'd like more information on when to "edit" a book before you read it to a child. I think that a lot of what would need to be edited would be contingent on which child you're reading to, but are there things in books that you'd recommend always changing for a foster child?
Also, how do you decide if it's actually worth it to you to edit a book, rather than find another one?
I really love your content, and I believe you have the best intentions here, but it's incredibly irresponsible to accept a sponsorship from BetterHelp, let alone recommend it for audiences who can be particularly vulnerable. Please research your sponsors before accepting them.
@@jcldctt there's a lot wrong with betterhelp unfortunately! i'll probably miss a lot out but a few particularly bad things: they sold "private" patient data, including intake forms (which included things like health, genetic, demographic details as well as their addresses and reason for seeking therapy - all of which BH promised was completely private and would only be seen by patient and therapist)
they can also be pretty predatory, and sometimes downright nasty. they overcharge for therapy - usually more than it costs to go to a private therapist in the same country - and aren't covered by insurance or national healthcare services.
there's also been a lot of concern over who they hire as therapists; they don't check credentials (although they claim to) and therefore have a lot of unqualified "therapists" working for them that give a variety of advice and therapeutic technique. so some people have a great BH experience because they were placed with a qualified therapist, but someone else could be just given some random person. apparently there's also been issues with therapists randomly getting reassigned with no warning to the patient, and the patient is blamed when they query this, even though patient-therapist bonds should be paramount.
the way they pay their therapists (and the amount they pay is abysmal, which again makes it less likely you're seeing an actual therapist) makes it so that the more clients they squeeze into a week, the more they get paid. so there's a lot of incentive to shorten sessions and take on more clients than they can handle - there's even anecdotal claims that therapists have been messaging clients during zoom sessions with other clients!
i'm sure i've missed a lot there, but just a few reasons they're a terrible company to support.
@@jcldctt Betterhelp has collected data on people on the premise that the information provided is confidential, then used that data for more advertising dollars. There are also concerns about Betterhelp's priorities - they advertise aggressively & pay for promotions like this, and focus heavily on growth and becoming ~the~ online therapy platform, but have sometimes done a poor job of putting people with the necessary qualifications together with the patients who are having the most severe crises, and needed a lot of prodding to do more basic stuff like letting clients check their provided therapist's credentials (which they did get around to).