Ben Shapiro: Why You Should Get Married Young
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- Опубліковано 27 вер 2024
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You have to make the decision to get married before you find the right person.
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Instead of waiting to find the perfect person to marry, one should aim to be the type of person someone else would WANT to marry.
Very true
Some of the best advice I heard is for you to write down the list of things you'd want from your future partner and then be that person.
Facts...
dude who cares i think this guy is forgetting the "facts dont care about your feelings" yeah first you need to see how you can provide for your wife, and for the family you plan on having, also start making plans on how you want your kids raised, think of all that before letting the feelings get in the way
The thing is, that is something that YOU wanna to do. That is not something the society does these days.
I'm not against marriage at all, I'd very much like to be married myself someday. But modern marriages are giant minefields for men. No-fault divorce means a woman can leave you, take half your money, and get sole custody of your kids just because she's "unhappy." No fault on either party required. The laws need to change so it's much harder to get divorced. One of the reasons marriage isn't taken seriously anymore is because everyone knows there's an easy out 24/7. Boomers started the trend by handing out divorces like candy. No stigma anymore.
Not for me. I only believe in divorce if there's adultery or abuse. Barring that, I'm stuck for life no matter what because those are the vows you take. And any woman of mine had better be in the exact same page or I will not put a ring on her finger. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, not some fairy tale ending to your problems.
Bad idea. You’re doing exactly what the forces of evil in the world today want you to do: not reproduce.
It’s really simple, if you think that you’ll get screwed out of the marriage deal, then buck off legal conventions. Make a prenuptial agreement with your partner before marriage that except in legitimate cases, such as with adultery or domestic abuse, whoever initiates a divorce forfeits all rights to taking care of the children and all rights to all the money owned by both parties.
It’s seriously that simple. And if a woman isn’t willing to go that far with you, then she clear isn’t the right one to begin with.
This.
And Ben doesn't address that issue. It is one that generally speaking, only men face.
Ben got lucky and married a good woman. If he had mistakenly married an evil women, she could very easily take him to the cleaners right now via the family law courts.
What confuses me is that the laws have been the same for decades and it's only recently that there's been increased discussion about those laws which in my opinions aren't go to change, I mean it's not like people should wait for the politicians to change laws and help people get married it sound ridiculous, I mean come on waiting for the government to help people get married??? the government is already far too powerful and to deeply involved with how the economy is running which by the way they've made more dysfunctional and now people want to fix people's personal lives??? doesn't make sense.
It's easier to do when making marriage a requirement for any kind of sex to take place.
I am 38 years old no wife, no kids, no pets, no responsibility. You don't have to follow the social norms just to try to fit in. Just do what makes you happy.
I agree. I'll be 39 soon and have zero complaints. Get married if you want folks, but don't rush. If you get divorced before your 30 and are on wife number 2 at 35 that's not fun either.
Here's the thing, when you're old and sickly, you might want someone to take care of you, buddy. A husband or a wife is good for that. Being alone when you're old loses it's charm. Unless you plan on being fabulously wealthy, which most people are not. When they're single they tend to spend all their money.
Save some of that money for when you get old and sickly if you're planning on staying single.
Also, married people live longer. It's a fact.
I’m 49. No wife, no kids. No stress.😎🕺
How dare you not have pets in your life! Dogs and cats make awesome companion animals. Dogs are more loyal to you than having a partner or spouse that cheats on you and is toxic.
Getting married was by far, the biggest mistake I made. Never again.
That's because you weren't mature 😂😂😂
@@graceclark3481 oh you know all that about him from one youtube comment? wow women sure are clever, i wonder how they always end up with abusive guys hmmm
How old were you when you got married?
@@jamesthepassionateyoutuber9059 27
Because your marriage failed. It’s not everyone
I'm a 23 years old and I've been married for 3 years and have a baby on the way. Everyone my age seems to try to find meaning in partying, drinking, drugs, and sex; like everyone got stuck being 16 years old
Lol what a way to waste your youth😂😂
Right
@UC9UUawbNBIPNlgMgUo6ti1g excuses
Save some money for alimony and child support
Good for you. Grow your life with another person instead of wasting it away alone. Don't let anybody tell you different!
I’m 40 and single. I was married to a man who became an addict, unfaithful, and physically abusive. I thank God for removing me from that situation, but until He says otherwise, I intend to spend my life working on myself and seeking God. If He has someone for me, that would be wonderful too. I suffered for someone else’s choice to sin and continue sinning, but I know that I did right by seeking God’s will throughout the years I was living in that chaos.
At the age of 40? I suggest you just get some cats.
@@Greywolf-91 lol, you must either be a child or ugly to think that 🤣 Do yourself a favor and look up some statistics on marriage over 40. 😬 oof, I’m embarrassed for you now.
@@blissfulmomentsfarm3730- I did, and frankly no man in his right mind would marry a 40 year old woman. It would be pointless.
@@Greywolf-91 hahaha, Oy. You must live a sad, rejected, and lonely life. Very brave of you to put it all out there in public though. I would say I hope your outlook on life improves, but it seems that you are stuck.
you are really bad at choosing a man.
I agree with Ben on the importance of marriage, but Ben never talks about the ugliness of divorce, how men are destroyed by it, and/or ways to reform it. People need incentives to do this, but I see no benefit for a man to get married until men get a fair shake. I don't think I've ever heard Ben ever broach this which is quite telling. I think he knows there isn't a good answer so he avoids talking about it all whilst advocating for an institution that hurts so many men.
Because you failing at your marriage is a you problem. I’m not sure what you want Ben to talk about? Choose a woman with strong morals and values and understanding of what a marriage entails and that you don’t divorce. Be a good husband and father and your chances of divorce is low. Most divorces are by degenerate people with low morals and values
Well, the second half of the problem is for you to share the same values as your spouse. You need to marry a spouse who is reluctant to divorce. Or look for a spouse that works out problems and is not a complete jerk when they're angry. Generally, the people who turn into monsters in a divorce show signs of being an angry person in the relationship beforehand.
The answer to the divorce problem is for people to get back to the marriages of the 1950s, where divorce was a last resort. Not the first choice to resolving a conflict!
And be a part of that change by marrying a person of faith! Faith in God is the key, dude. Because unless you have a deep faith, people in general are very selfish. That is the only way to avoid the terrible situation of divorce
Faith is probably the reason why Ben Shapiro doesn't mention divorce, he is jewish. Judaism really frowns on divorce, and unless you are a person of a deep faith you are more likely to choose divorce to get out of a marriage. Instead of working hard to save the marriage in resolve conflict.
Ben Shapiro probably sees that a lot of young people don't have faith in god, so how on Earth do you approach divorce when you don't have a belief in God? People by nature are selfish.
@@graceclark3481 An even easier way to solve this is to get the state out of the marriage business, and end women getting free gifts and prizes after the dissolution of a marital union. That would nip things in the bud rather quickly, but that will never be done, and people like Ben will never advocate something this sensible.
I got married at 20 to a guy I had know since I was 9. Him and I literally grew up together, watched each other change into the people we are today. We started dating at 15, agreed we wanted to get married one day and worked towards that goal. Every single person outside my family things I'm an idiot and should've waited until I was 30+. But why? We both knew what we wanted and we still choose to love each other and work towards being better for each other. What I have is rare, yes. But if you keep waiting for the perfect partner, you'll never find them. Find someone with similar values and work on making each other better.
Because peoples values change. And sometimes they cannot reconcile. Often before the age of 18, you just follow along with what your family believes. But when you leave home or go to college, a lot of people realize they don’t have the same values. They’re a “different” person they say. I know someone who met at 12, they appeared to have a happy marriage with one child later on, and then out of nowhere her husband left her for another woman at age 25. She didn’t even see it coming. She thought she had a happy marriage. It’s pretty clear, that the people who met young and stayed together were just lucky in choosing the right person. If it were not luck, then I’d expect to see more successful young marriages. But that isn’t the case.
There’s no such thing as perfect person
100 percent.agrree! Young people are never going to be unhappy relationships because they have been brainwashed into thinking that their partner is always supposed to make them happy the rest of their lives. That is a fairy tale and it is not the main point of marriage.
Life isn't perfect, you are never going to find someone who is going to be there for you all the time. You have to be there for each other, be the bigger person when the other one is down!
Sometimes you have to be the adult when the other person acts like a child.
Marriage is a serious, lifelong commitment that is not based solely on the fleeting emotion of love.
@jeli142, You're right ma'am, people's values can change. But you can't make a generalization of everyone that way. Some people have good families who taught them right values, and they never change.
You need to stop assuming that everyone makes a mistake by marrying someone they knew as a kid. I am the same person I was 15 years ago. Same values, same personality. It really depends on your situation, and what family you had.
In most cases, I find that if people wait longer to get married they find excuses to break up. Because they get tired of waiting!
But most of us don't have that. So I think the goal is unrealistic. I am 24 and I don't know any eligible women. So the whole "growing up" part of my life is already over. I've graduated now. The hardship is past in that sense.
I believe you should get married when you are mature enough to know what it means and entails, and when you find the one person you want to live the rest of your life. Age enters into it very little.
Agreed other than that age enters into the marriage equation very little. Maturity is much more common with age. Modern culture also promotes extended adolescence which isn't good.
This is the correct answer. Ben is wrong.
@@zachdproductions123Ben isn't wrong. Some people are mature at a young age. And getting married and growing with your spouse is actually a very good thing. You share experiences together. That is if you truly love each other.
So sorry, you're the one that's wrong
@@graceclark3481 Yeah, if you actually are in a position to be married, but not everyone is.
@@graceclark3481yeah,I used to act like a 7 year old up until i was 20.. It's from 20 that I started having any sense of self control and self reflection. Up until then I was 100% on autopilot. Whenever I read comments about how 15 year olds are working on improving themselves I feel like sht because I've wasted all those valuable years being on autopilot.
Not sure what makes some people become mentally mature so early but I wish I was like that. Now Im 22 and slowly improving. Better late than never i guess
I plan to get married young but not too young. Also it’s hard to trust anyone from my generation cuz loyalty has long been thrown out. No one is willing to tough it out and just leave
Find it in your church. And base the relationship off the church
'plan to get married' ha, so did i; 15 years ago. now i'm single at 27, find the person you want to marry and do it. dragging your feet like i did will result in a failed 10 year relationship
It's really sad. I'm sorry you deal with that. My husband and I were born in the 80s and most of our friends are non-committal but they are very unhappy. Many too afraid to "make the jump" yet they've risked their livelihood many times by sleeping with people.
Try to abstain as much as is "possible" for you. I used to be obsessed with the idea that you need sex first.....but no. My husband and I both think it wasn't worth it. We had amazing experiences with other people, but the lack of real commitment (marriage) made it not worth the risks.
He and I only got married due to having a child we were both told we couldn't have (medically). Took hard work the first years, and once we found Jesus together honestly it's been great most the time, for a decade married now, just about 11.5 years together.
I think your best bet is someone of similar faith to you, or perhaps if you figure out your own faith if you haven't, and get therapy if you need it. Hopefully you'll find someone who's done the same.
People also need to remember marriage isn't about some fairytale of people being perfect for one another. That doesn't exist. Everyone has issues, it's how you work through them together, how you communicate, and how you each problem solve.
I know it's hard out there now for sure. ♥️ Take care
@@ari3lz3pp i was born in '95, got with my highschool sweetheart in 2011, did everything 'right' (abstained 100%, both graduated then got full time jobs) proposed to her in 2013, things went downhill slowly after that, but after 9 years we realized we hadn't communicated something super important; children. I 100% want to have a child of my own. and she 100% absolutely would not be giving birth. an irreconcilable difference, so after 10 years i had to break it off.
Thanks to online dating and dating apps in particular people have been made disposable. Don't like who you currently have? Go swipe for a better one!
People who gush about how in love they are or thier marriage are just as insufferable as a rich kid who purposely rides thier new bike past the poor kid's house just to mash thier nose in it more. "See my cool new bike? My parents bought it for me, oh yeah yours are too broke to buy you anything. Sucks to be you."
Welcome to the neighborhood 😂
Don't you think most people would if they could? Dating is a hellscape.
When it comes to dating, women get quantity over quality; men get neither.
Omg thank you for saying that.
It's easy for people like Ben and his friends a DW which I respect by the way to lecture people about getting married because their all rich and swimming in dough they can afford it no problem in fact it's easy for them to have more Conservatives lives in regards to family when their rich but for a large percentage people in America that's not possible their simply too poor to be lead more Conservative - traditional type of lives centered around marriage and family, also the culture more broadly has succeeded in training people into believing that marriage, child rearing and family in general is a bad thing and shouldn't be prioritized as a result going into the future the vast majority of people will never marry and have kids but apparently some Conservatives haven't accepted that they've lost that cultural battle.
@@fraserfir19 that’s so not true! They all were poor and struggling when they got married. If anything they became better humans and more successful because they were married. My husband and I have a similar story as young millennials. We had nothing when we got married, and we build quite a life together in just 7 years. It’s amazing what you can do together
@@alqoshgirl The average millennial woman is getting married in their 30s. Not 20s. They aren't building anything, they are looking for someone to take care of them and their spawn
I delayed marriage and always regretted it, but late in life I found the most amazing person and we both got married for the 1st time and have a beautiful son!
I fret sometime about waiting, but then I think that if I had married young, I would have married the wrong person and may never have been with the person I am with now...
How late? I'm 35 and Celibate. Am I stuck being Celibate the rest of my life now?!?!
@@adamzygote2126- Nahh, you can still bang chicks, and I’m sure that some ratchet single mom will marry you and shit out a kid or two before she divorces you, takes half your shit, and hits you with child support for the kids she had with you, plus her little bastards that she convinced you to adopt.
@@stormz.9579 that is what I did. I married young and because I was immature I married the wrong person.
Couldn't divorce because I am indian and its not acepted. I ended up being able to divorce thou after a very bad time.
I wish I had wait more so I could be more developed and wise inside, to actually have a healthy relationship.
Didn't wanna be single at 21.
I thought being single was a terrible thing specially after 30.
Now I am 33, divorced.
Sometimes when you rush into things out of fear, that somehow magnetize the exact same things you were fearfull of.
I am a man so I can still get married again. However its not very acepted here to get married if you have been already married and have kids.
@@adamzygote2126 not at all. This guy is simply trying to have a point about the beauty of marriage and family which is being lost in the West.
So he is pushing back against a superficial culture.
That doesnt mean plenty of people doesnt get married and are happy after 35 or even after 40.
Sometimes even way happier than people who married younger.
Read my other comment. I married very young. Didnt go well.
Divorce rates all over the world are higher for people who marry so young.
When I was younger than 25, the idea of getting married was just so alien to me, my brain just could not compute it. It’s just something I never even thought of, to me it was something you do when you’re older. Every single authority figure (teacher, counselor, parent and even pastor) drilled in dating / relationships were a distraction, focus on schoolwork and getting your career started. Even now when I hear about something getting married young it doesn’t compute for me.
Hmmm, I feel the same
I have always heard stay single fir as long as possible. Then you have people who tell you to get married young. It's really confusing. I have had married people tell me point blank to stay single. It's crazy man
@@Davey97 Each person is different. Marriage is useful and fulfilling for some people, but for others it is not. Assuming you have children, it is the most expensive endeavor a regular person will ever have to sacrifice themselves for. It's an endless cycle, we are born, we procreate, and then spend the rest of our limited life-span on our children, and by the time they leave we are alone once more, and eventually we die. For some, this is an affordable journey, but most people nowadays are realizing how paradoxical it is to continue this endless cycle of birth and death.
Genuinely I always thinks it's up to people themselves it's annoying seeing society tells us we should get married then we shouldn't personally I would like to get married I do hope to find someone but I understand some people who don't it is a commitment you make with another person. Most people like to stay commited to themselves and that's an ok think loving yourself over loving someone
Don't get married
Honestly I find it harder to find a good person and get married for my generation since social media has screwed up dating so much that people keep cheating on each other and relationships don’t last very long
Use it to your benefit though. My husband and I met online on catholicmatch. I think it was great because you can weed out people that are not serious. My husbands first message to me was that he’s seeking a wife, thinks I’m gorgeous and wants to get to know me better to see if we’re compatible. Most people I know met online too and are very happy
@@alqoshgirl Online dating is the worst for men. Have you not looked at any of the data on this? Men have to work 1000x hard than women do dating online. Your "advice" is meaningless. You were the hunted not the hunter.
@@cheeeeezewizzz so? That’s how it supposed to be. Man up and take rejection. You’re acting like I married myself. I married a man that put himself out there, had never been in a relationship and took a chance by messaging me. What is doom and gloom going to do for you? Try it! Maybe you’ll be surprised. You certainly won’t get married whining about it in your room behind a keyboard
@@cheeeeezewizzz Being a Doomer won't do any good for you. Sure Men have to do 1000x the work, but that's irrelevant. What is relevant, is that most boys are just pathetic nowadays. So if you just know how to talk to a woman, don't complain, and have a basic plan for your life and are following it, you'll do just fine. And if you are the least bit charismatic (which is simply learned), have a job/career with potential that you're going after, and have some standing within your community, then you're heads and shoulders above 90% of your competition.
@@alqoshgirl the very least I expect from a woman who tells us to "man up" is celibacy until marriage.....
I’m 28 and have wanted to get married for years. I envisioned I’d be married with 3 kids by now but I can’t seem to find a good man even to date. He doesn’t need to be perfect. But dating in this day and age is so difficult for so many reasons, including the ones Ben talked about here. I didn’t want to wait this long. But for now, I know he’s out there, somewhere. I hope. And I just keep working on my own self. The desire to be married is what hurts right now, I’m not lonely.
I’m in the same boat. I’ve tried and keep trying every day to work on myself. Since high school I’ve set my mind to godly things, and I’ve concentrated on my academics and I even got a college degree, all while always being open to going on dates, kind behavior, being agreeable and willing to fall in love. But nothing sticks. You know, you get left behind for whatever reason. You find these ‘godly’ men who enjoy your friendship and act like they find value in your humor and your beauty, but then they find someone more feminine and softer than you, I suppose. Of course that’s sweet for them but you’re left reeling. And now I’m 29 and still, you know, “working on myself,” looking to God, being brave, putting myself out there. I don’t want to give up but time, ya know? Time is precious.
You're a woman. Look in your friend zone. Dating is easy for women, because you just have to exist. Chad has many options and not just you.
It's situational. If i married young, when i was a blithering imbecile, I would have damaged my marriage beyond repair and now would be divorced. I married as a more mature adult and now have the foresight to make my marriage work healthily.
I got married at 19 and my husband was 20 he was in the military and we have been together since I was 16 we have had four kids and will be 25years in January it really is beautiful to say that his is the only "man" in my life ❤️
Hubby and I were (still are) both military when we married at 20 and 23. Unfortunately we could only have 2 kids due to childcare needs but now that I'm nearing retirement, we have one and are planning for one more pregnancy.
It's great when it works out.
ugh
A real life dependa
“You had me at tricare” 🥰
Just beautiful 🙂
Wishing you many more happy years x
Y’all are the exception to the rule. Most of those types of relationships don’t work out
We were 18, just out of high school and our first child was born when I was 19 and he 20. We just celebrated our 45th wedding anniversary. Ben is right - you grow up together. My husband is my best friend. It hasn't always been easy but I am so glad that, by the grace of God, we hung in there. And I am still young enough to get on the floor and play with the grandkids.
Congrats on your wedding anniversary ❤️ love is so beautiful.
That was back in ye’ olden times. Things don’t work like they did back then. The system is irrevocably broken. Thanks Boomers you piles of irredeemable excrement.
@@trembling3674 You can do it!
Just do it!!! Seriously everything can be worked out in marriage. You commit to stay together no matter what. Put God first, that you are committed to what God calls of you in marriage and your responsibility to stay rather than only for that person. That makes you work on you and not focus on them which makes for a healthy union. Your partner will always disappoint you but you give the same grace and forgiveness God gave us and keep being the man God called you to be as a husband and you can’t fail. Do it! I married at 20 and quickly had 2 kids after and married 19 years now. When I tried to leave my husband said no you will stay and we will work this out no matter what, walking out the door is the first step to divorce. So tell me what it takes and we will do it. So glad he stepped up as a man and stayed true to his vows and we couldn’t be happier
When folks say "It hasnt always been easy" I always wonder if that ranges from simple boredom to another person having to forgive cheating of the other to stay together
My husband and I married young and have been together for 38 years!
We have 2 wonderful sons and I am SO grateful for my family that God gave me!!!❣️
Blessings and Peace to You and Those You Love 💕
, I'm 27 and to most people what I may say might shock some, but I don't care, I've been married to my sister for 3 years now and it's just the most beautiful soul changing thing we've done the only downside is we can't have biological kids but our love and connection that we have is what's important, young marriage is key folks. ❤️
Shut up! All of you old farts just SHUT THE HELL UP! You obviously do not comprehend how toxic the environment has become for marriage. You obtained your habits before your generation destroyed your Children’s future, and here you are preaching like arrogant, clueless morons. Next you’ll be condescendingly explaining to the youngins how to code on java script.
You people make me sick!
@@titanproductions3628- Holy shit! Talk about F’ed up. 🤮
@@Greywolf-91 Yeah you should look in the mirror.
Are you actually happy? My sister has been married 20 something years and I think she is unhappy!!! She did not get to live being single and knowing yourself and traveling!!
Married before 25. Good luck.
You’re going to need it.
Divorce lawyers are making a killing during these times.
Very high divorce rates and climbing
Everyone I knew who married young are now divorced. I married at 45 and we just celebrated our 19th anniversary.
Yeah divorce rates for young people are the worst out of any age group actually. Countries with average marriage of 35 have lower divorce rates (Ireland, etc).
Nice fairy tale Ben, but not everyone meets the right person in their teens or twenties. It’s ridiculous to say that people deliberately ignore marriage and relationships until they are middle aged. A lot of people don’t find he right partner until later in life - or not at all - it’s not a choice, it’s just how things work out.
I agree marrying young can work, but it does not always work.
Some people's mental age is about 10 years behind their chronological age. For those people, it is almost certain that getting married in their early to mid 30s will produce a better outcome for the family they will create together.
💯 Most people don’t even know who they are let alone what the want/need in a partner. I married at 36. Established, financially secure and responsible. I was none of those things in my 20s
with 18 you are different than 25 and with 30 you are different again. Young marriage that works out is rare.
@@nataliefeelme4416 That's why I said it can work, but it doesn't always work.
Tldr. Ben got lucky with his wife. He married a moral woman instead of an immoral woman.
That's just marriage in general though. Sure, age can be a factor, but it doesn't make this point super valid. Lots of things can be contributing factors to a failed relationship. The reality is that it simply doesn't work for some people. It requires both parties to be dedicated to the same cause. Once that happens, and as long as it stays that way, it doesn't matter if you got married at 17 or at 37.
@@FinalLugiaGuardian But that’s the point. People should be moral. The problem wasn’t the early age of marriage, the problem was the immorality.
I’m 35 single female, never married, never had children and desire those things. It’s definitely not a choice to still be single 😢
Bot
❤
I absolutely agree. My wife was 20, I was 21 when we got married. That was over 20 years ago and I wouldn't trade it for anything. We're not the same people we were, but we are better for being married to each other.
yeesh. nah, you should have accomplished a bit more first. it's just not a good idea to jump the gun. sure, some last, but why not do something with life first? travel, write a book, perform in a band, write speeches for protests, *anything*. plus, those who married young are always lamenting that they didn't do more first. they feel bleak. some just convince themselves they're super happy with their choice, that they're superior. lol. oppsite day.
these silly kids think they are filling in their BINGO spaces. but most people don't see getting hitched young as successful. it's just playing house we see it as cringe. you know how liberals take all this pride in letting drag q u eens read to their kids and everyone else is like "dear god, no thx".. well it's kinda like that.
there's a reason successful and high class people tend to get married in their 30s.
Amen
I got married a month away from 21, was the best decision of my life. The way I was going was not the career driven route. My husband and I have learned how to run a household and manage our money. You don't need an education to make money and budget. You need a spouse to keep you accountable and have dreams and goals together. ✨️
My husband and I did alot , too much partying and drinking before we even got married, we know about that life and it's nothing to be missed.
Ben traded his foreskin for a silly hat, I wouldn’t take his opinions seriously.
@@legalfictionnaturalfact3969 Everyone I know who got married relatively young is happy about it, and everyone I know who followed your advice has a lot of regret. Good partners don't stay on the market. If you are in your 30s looking for a partner, you're just sifting through the leftovers.
To be honest I dont think I'll ever be married. Not because I dont want to. But because idk if I'll ever be ready. I'm 17 years old and I dont have a girlfriend or anything. Atleast I got God though
Girlfriend/boyfriend relationships in high school just prepare young people for later divorce. Save your money, spend your time developing your mind and character, set your life goals and concentrate on becoming an adult. When the time comes to marry, go courting.
God isn't real. That's your first problem. Delusions.
@@LoganArmbrust1 I'm 21 never even had a girlfriend before. Getting married and having kids just don't seem like a good life to me.
"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." - Proverbs 21:9
Note that it specifies "quarrelsome wife" and not simply "wife". He is referring to a very specific TYPE of woman, not women in general. Solomon was not advocating for singleness, but for careful choosing of one's spouse. Proverbs 31 is all about how great it is to find a good woman.
I want to get married but the girls I like want money.
Getting married young also makes me appreciate my husband's triumphs more. I have seen him overcome many obstacles that, had I married him now, I may have taken for granted.
Just because something works for one person doesn’t mean it’s going to work for all.
I'm 35 and still not married. I want to be. I wanted to get married in my 20s. It just hasn't happened yet.
Love with your whole heart, listen with understanding ears, once something is said it can't be unsaid. Weigh your words heavily before they spill out of your mouth, and never go to bed angry with your partner.
I’d like to get married eventually, but this generation ain’t built for it
Exactly.
I am 35 and I’ve found that if I had gotten married younger, I would not be as financially successful as I am now. All of the women I dated or was in love with are now struggling just to get by and are in tremendous debt after marriage and kids.
Most actually become financially stable when they marry. My husband tells me all the time. He probably wouldn’t be in the position he is in if it wasn’t for me and our kids. It’s amazing what motivates a man that has a purpose and drive to provide for his loved ones. My husband doubled his salary in our short 7 years marriage. We had 4 kids in that time and all on 1 salary. He’s looking at getting a raise again in the next half year. God provides and there is an out of this world joy knowing we build this life together
@@alqoshgirl Bottom line if I get married I can’t travel that’s where my money is.
@@alqoshgirl But it’s not BECAUSE of the wife 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ Get out of here.
@@the1prodig432 why are you so miserable? 🤣 does it feel good being alone?
@Matthew Goodwin I’ve basically been alone for years I can go a few dozen more
The idea of this message is that if you find the right person, do NOT wait to tie the not or start living together. But you should never rush a relationship nor should you stress yourself out by finding someone to love. But I agree with Ben, growing up with someone as friends and eventually falling in love and spending the rest of your life together is beautiful
It is very beautiful. I agree with him..
It's also important to find someone who has your same values. Which I don't think Shapiro talks about as much. What makes a long-lasting marriage is not just love, but the same values. Making sure that you both have a deep commitment to each other no matter what.
Especially nowadays when a lot of young men and women have gotten caught up in the hookup culture, it's especially important to find someone with your same values. Even if you have to wait a little bit. I waited 31 years for the right one. I don't regret it a single day
This whole "get married young" philosophy is one way in which the Conservatives are losing the culture war. There are a lot of unwed women out there who just haven't found their person yet, despite not sleeping around or participating in hook-up culture. I'm tired of conservatives having a sense of superiority because they were fortunate enough to find their spouse at age 20. Luck + timing + God's plan are all major factors.
I totally agree, telling young men to just get married is setting them up for disaster. And that is how tons of young men see it, conservative and libertarian minded men feel this way. The culture itself has turned marriage into a trap.
Same. And if you're religious, women outnumber men in church. It's at least 3:1 in my fairly large church and similar ratios when I visit other churches. On Christian dating sites....it's a mess and a scam. None of my married couple friends knows any single guys and/or wants to set up their friends. A new well-groomed single man just started attending my church and I know at least 5 of us are probably eyeing him. We want to be married.
I Absolutely agree!
Jesus and most of his disciples, Paul, Elijah, Elisha, Jeremiah and Daniel were all single. In fact, there is not a single family in the Bible that never had a failure recorded.
CS Lewis didn't get married until he was almost 60. Isaac didn't marry Rebekah until he was 40.
@@jackcarraway4707 Jesus was married to Mary Magdalen. The Gospel of Phillip relates that Jesus "loved her more than the other disciples" and would "often kiss her on the lips". In the Gospel of Luke, Mary Magdalen wipes her hair on Jesus' feet. According to Jewish law, only a husband was allowed to see a woman's hair unbound and if a woman let down her hair in front of another man, this was a sign of impropriety and grounds for mandatory divorce. This incident , then can be seen as portraying Jesus and Mary either as man and wife or as libertine lovers with scant regard for moral niceties.
I wouldn't say that you "should get married young", and maybe that's not exactly what Ben is saying. Rather, grow up now, develop good habits now, be a good man or woman now, not only when you're 30 or 40. That way you can take the opportunities that come to you, including for marriage, whenever they come, and won't have to regret or catch up on entire decades of your life in the long run.
I like to tell my friends that our late teens and early 20s, and college for that matter, are the time to "be a man." Thanks for the video, I'd love for there to be more emphasis on this.
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i can't stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just can't, i love her so much, i don't know why i am bring this here for, i can't stop thinking about her.
it's always difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation my wife for 12 years left me, i couldn't just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back.
@@haynesatteh4463 her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE,and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster who can bring her back
@@jamesbennett3843 Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.
Get married when you’re ready. Everyone is different with different paths. Don’t force yourself into a situation that you may not be ready for.
Exactly, as a wise man once said, no serious guys until you're 30.
@@Lenin95 lol
I’m sorry guys, this is nonsense. The fact that our society has extended adolescence until your 30 is gross. You’re an adult at 18. If you’re not a serious person by 30 you’ve wasted half your adult life.
Also don't have sex. That's part of the huge issue now. People think it's less important to share your body with someone that way, than it is to marry someone. Or to have kids but being married is whatever...
Marriage is simply a commitment that makes it more difficult to quit for stupid reasons. Also if you hold yourself to the standard of saying you won't have sex unless you are willing to commit to someone else who will do the same, that you both have made a deal of what you expect from marriage, and the expectations.
That issue comes with people having some naieve fairytale idea of what marriage is, also what freedom of promiscuity is. Before sex or marriage you should have therapy to unpack some of your garbage. Unfortunately the sluttiest people tend to be damaged and seeking a bandaid solution by being so.
No one...NO ONE will ever be perfect for you. No one is perfect. But if you are lucky enough to find someone you can stand to be around every day, that you can effectively communicate with when things are bad....that you both feel this way, and can make one another laugh...that's something that honestly is a wonderful foundation to become married. And to "stand being together" as-in not constantly compromising but because you have enough core values in common (religion/spirituality, hopefully politics.. what about kids..)
Honestly I have been married twice. The first time I was left by my husband, he had severe mental disorders undiagnosed and regretted leaving. I was torn apart by it too. It's always stuck with me. I still love him but I couldn't get a hold of him for years and moved on.
I did something regrettable...I slept with someone. Luckily he ended up becoming my husband once I forced it to happen. But now he and I both advocate for people not to sleep together unless they are both ready and willing to get married and to risk children.
I was ready to leave when I discovered I was pregnant. So we stayed together. I realised if we were not married, we would only be constantly at war with one another about the child. If we were married at least we could be a partnership again. No..this is NoT what I recommend (but I don't recommend doing the first part lol-we were both being sluts).
We both found God several years in and things started to look up. Now it's been about a decade married, only a little longer together. We are very content and even unbelievably happy regularly. It's suprising tbh, but we both wanted to commit.
We both wanted family, so we could grow together.
I do think if you want real growth as an adult, and don't have a mental issue holding you back, you naturally will want to marry for good reasons .
I see many partnerships of people together for decades on the cusp of marriage but never quite make it there. Most times they are very depressed and unfulfilled. Even though they have kids and all of the surface things of marriage. Why do you think gay marriage rights have been so major??? Because it *means* something.
@@tracibars9704 The “serious guys by 30” comment was a reference to Biden speaking to a young girl. Don’t take it seriously lol
there's more to life than getting married and having kids
Men should focus on career
True...you can choose to do "more to life" with or without a spouse and/or kids. It's more rewarding when starting younger.
But nothing as impactful on a personal level. Time flies by starting in your 30s it picks up the pace. Most women in their late 30s and early 40s have issues having healthy pregnancies, and trying to raise a young child in your 40s+...yikes.
Anyone I've known who has shyed away from marriage (even if "committed" long term) is unhappy most nights. They just are...they might have fun partying or being consumers of video games, cars, etc...but they always have a loneliness and general sadness.
They aren't growing and improving as much as their married friends, they don't have that person to count on and come home to. (Some even in the partnerships or living with a friend...it's clearly not the same). They aren't pushed to improve as a unit. They are emotionally stunted and not contributing to the progress of humanity.
It's NOT for everyone...no doubt.. nature has its way of weeding out certain people through time. But most people I've met that go through this, even compared to divorced people that had kids...most are hit with hard cold reality once they let it slide by and they are too old to do anything about it.
@@ari3lz3pp it’s a personal choice that I don’t think it’s a great world to bring kids into, I think it’s selfish and just perpetuates the cycle of misery, you’ve one life and I think it should be lived to the max
I got married young twice. Needless to say they were both mistakes. I found my soul mate at 30. I have never been happier. I was not mature enough and didn't base my marriage on God. If you base your marriage on God it cannot fail.
Marriage is a man-made concept. The "God" part of your marriage is just the psychology you use to justify it. If it serves you well, so be it.
Bros name I says it all
@@indykkowalski9366 Which one?
@Millennial Smark I agree with everything you just said. You literally described being a God in a temporary body.
@@demonicaxeman7264marriage is made by God. It's man who hates marriage..
You're full of s***!
If I ever luck out and have kids I'm going to raise them to be the kind of people other people want to be with by the time they reach adulthood. No one really warned me how bleak the dating world is after 30, and how lonely it is going all the way though college and work by yourself. Life would be so much better if I was lucky enough to find someone to marry young, oh well. I hope teenagers see this video and make the right choice.
As if marriageable spouses just grow on trees. 🙄
The counterargument for men in particular is:
1. The divorce rate of around 50% with women filing nearly 80% of them, often getting rewarded financially as a result
2. Women not providing what men want in the vast majority of cases. Reasonable requirements their grandmothers and great grandmothers met. Fit, feminine, cooperative, not a leftist feminist lunatic, no high body count, not buried in horrible college debt, 20’s (fertility), no kids from previous relationships. Maybe 2-3% of all women meet these basic standards, the math doesn’t work out.
True...
I mean the high/low body count thing is basically virgin or not right? Because anyone can claim whatever body count they want.
Ben talks a lot about marriage through the perspective of rose tinted glasses. True you can grow together with someone, but isn’t that also the same process as just a normal relationship? Me personally I would like to be grown into my own person first before I get married to another individual and me personally I don’t quite see that when I was younger. I couldn’t fathom getting married to the person I was with when I was 21. I was a drastically different person then and had I gotten married when I did, I would’ve hated where I set myself up to be. My goals drifted way beyond hers and for us to be put together by marriage at that point would just be draining on both ends if we didn’t divorce
I want to wait until I’m at least 30 to get married and have kids, that way I can spend my twenties working so I’ll be able to afford a house
Hmmm there’s a beauty of doing it together. So what if the right person comes along? You’re just not gonna pursue them because you don’t have everything perfectly in order? My husband and I got married, had our first child and my husband couldn’t even get a mortgage. In just 7 years his salary doubled, we added 4 more kids, have a house and can send our oldest to catholic school. God provides. As long as you have ambition and a goal that’s what matters most. Like with my husband he was getting an engineering degree so we knew he would be financially getting ahead in the future
@@alqoshgirl what will a woman want with a guy who doesn’t have his own house?
As a participant in a marriage where both were 20 years old, I can tell you were both TOO YOUNG. grow up and nature before marriage.
Absolutely not. But I suppose you just have a different view on marriage due to life experiences
Agreed. Happy to have gotten married at 22. 31 now with 5 children. I have a bachelor's degree with no use, a dingy house from the 1900s and 3 jobs with my wife's 1 job just to keep the family afloat... and I wouldn't trade it for a single life in a fancy condo and successful job. My family is God's blessing to me and never a day am I ashamed of the life I live now because of the ones in my life.
@Voice Nerd~
Wonderful testimony.
God bless you and your family.
While it sounds wonderful, marrying young makes sense if the two people are emotionally mature enough. Otherwise it's gonna blow up in their face
Was married young at 24 and after 10 years and 3 kids it unfortunately didn't work out. However I can grow up still with my kids and I'm young enough to keep up with them. If I had the choice to do it all over again knowing the outcome and hardships I'd still do it. Totally worth it with 3 beautiful children.
What happened in the relationship
Tried married young. Didn’t end well. 😕
I delayed marriage until 35. And it couldn't be any other way. I wanted to travel the world, and there is no way that would have happened if I was married. And so I did. I went to a lot of places and had the time of my life. In a sense i've been able to refine and reflect on myself and become a better version of myself from my own will to do so.
There is no way that would have happened if I was married is too strong a statement. By 35 my wife and I had lived in four different countries, and had traveled to dozens of other countries. Our two children were born overseas. Because we were married when we had these adventures - hiking in the Alps and the Himalayas, walking through Red Square, riding camels around the Pyramids, strolling down the Champs Élysées, and so many more - we can recall them together.
Lol as if you can’t travel with a wife and kids. So you’re just going to sit around now and do nothing with your family?
@@alqoshgirl I was living out of a backpack for 14 months, traveling through middle east, Eastern Europe, North Africa and South America. Not only is that unaffordable for a whole family, its not exactly safe, or feasible to organize a type of trip like that.
@@kenpumford754 amazing. That wasn't my experience. The woman I was with prior to finding my wife didn't have the money, the ability to take the time off, or even that strong of an interest. Me and my wife travel now, but the way we travel is a lot different than when I traveled solo
Currently 22 and single and my primary issue is finding a woman who shares my values. I'm not even looking for perfection, I'm just looking for someone who doesn't want to kill babies, believes in God, and believes that transitioning children is akin to bodily mutilation. It's exceptionally hard to do that nowadays, apparently, and the only people my age who do believe that are already married.
So they are out there! Keep up hope since there are people your age that think like this and are married
I’m on a similar boat. I’m 26 years old now and it’s been very difficult finding the Ideal girl : someone who loves God & truth as much as me - or even more! I been working in the meantime to become the best possible future spouse, I know God will provide :)
There is a dating app out there for right wingers that have Conservatives Christian women out there.
@@ResidentRecon89 I’m personally opposed to use dating apps lol. Best way to find a partner is to get out there and be involved in the community. And not just hide behind a screen
@Potato Joe they are out there. There’s dozens of extremely devout Christian girls in my city. Only way to meet them is to get involved in your church and community
Better single than had a bad relationship.
Most ppl here seem to think life is all about marriage. You know there’s more to life than that right? You don’t have to be married to be in love. Marriage is just a piece of paper. Love is from within and lasts much longer.
Unfortunately a lot easier said than done Ben. At 23 years old social media has ruined women my age for the most part. It’s really hard to find somebody with traditional and conservative values
Lol is it more likely that it's most women who are the problem, or just you?
@Potato Joe haha. So hang on let me get this straight...MOST women in their early twenties are ruined? That must account for millions of people; can I ask how you conducted this investigation? The interview time alone! How did you decipher that they were 'ruined'? Gosh, all this happening without me knowing
My Grandma's and Grandads were all married. Death separated them.
My Mum and Dad remain married. Death will separate them.
I therefore had stability growing up, I knew that I wanted to get married.
Had some girlfriends didn't work out.
Was with my wife for 9 years before we married.
Now been together 27 years.
Death will separate us.
Everyone said the 7 year itch will get you!
Never did!
What makes a great marriage?
-Trust
- Never lie to each other
- Tolerance of each other
- Arguing is to be expected but learn how to control emotions
- Talk to each other, do things together, love unconditionally.
-Support and guide each other
-Share happiness and sadness together
Marriage takes work. Its not easy but if you really love someone enough to say, "till death do us part" you have someone to grow old with and when you have kids, they will come first for both of you.
Your kids will be stronger, and will carry those values forward.
The far left ideologies and woke agenda risks affecting marriage and by default the children will also be damaged and that, shamefully, is what is wrong with the world!
Marriage is an institution worth fighting for.
I got married at 19. Best thing I ever did! I'm 55 and retired now.
very different dating scene right now. many of us men who want to get married are having a hell of a time finding someone to marry.
cringe
My parents don’t even let me date and I’m 19 😭
@@Professionalbsdetector you do realize you’re an adult… right?
That was a different time though. That's a thing oldtimers, and I'm only 2 years younger then you so I'm one too, find hard to keep in mind. What worked when we were young doesn't work today. And I am single and I can say, the dating scene is horrible. And it's so much worse for young guys now. They're getting out earned and out educated by women across the board, and unlike men women do not date down. They do not want a man that earns less then them, has a lower education then them, is shorter then them and with most educated women being extremely left wing they probably don't want a conservative man either. Unless they are really desperate. But by that time they are in their 30's with their best years gone.
Marriage is a big deal and you need to think it through before you do it and it’s okay to never even get married because marriage doesn’t equate to happiness and it’s not great to get married young you should save marriage until you’re absolutely sure because marrying someone to soon and then finding out it was the wrong choice is detrimental
We were both 27, I had just returned from a year tour in Iraq. We started dating in February, got married in November. That was 17 years ago. Ben's right, you have to make the decision first to get married, then you'll know when you've found the right person. When you know, you know.
"Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth" - Proverbs 5:18
… AFTER the marriage/divorce/custody laws change. I wont even consider getting married until that happens.
… and I would very much like to.
@@BLASTIC0 The law only matters if your marriage fails.
Bad idea. You’re doing exactly what the forces of evil in the world today want you to do: not reproduce.
It’s really simple, if you think that you’ll get screwed out of the marriage deal, then buck off legal conventions. Make a prenuptial agreement with your partner before marriage that except in legitimate cases, such as with adultery or domestic abuse, whoever initiates a divorce forfeits all rights to taking care of the children and all rights to all the money owned by both parties.
It’s seriously that simple. And if a woman isn’t willing to go that far with you, then she clear isn’t the right one to begin with.
@@kevinrobinson5654 And it can fail much easier due to no fault divorce and the incentive of alimony and child support.
The point of marriage was that there was no divorce. You can’t completely destroy that institution and then pretend as if it’s the same thing it was when Jesus talked about it.
I understand where you're coming from and it's sad that you and others feel that way. Marriage ìs such a beautiful experience with neither party has to worry about one betraying the other.
Another consideration. With all the current laws in place, my husband can freely divorce and leave me at anytime with little consequence. He's not stuck with me and chooses to stay inspite of my temper, poor housekeeping skills, annoying habits, and every other thing I do that isn't up to my own standards. I can do the same to him but choose to stay with him inspite of all his faults where he doesn't live up to his own standards but I don't find them "that bad".
The fact one can freely choose to leave the other, we can be secured in knowing that we're both freely choosing to stay to work things out.
Get married young, get divorced young because you have no idea who you are or what you want… marry a second time and hopefully get it right 😂😂😂
I love these guys and agree with most of what they say, but the marriage thing is rough territory. Women having enough money and independence to prevent them from being reliant on a less than worthy man really hurts the odds.
Helps if you are part of a religion. If both of you prioritize your faith over material success, hopefully you will realise the choice to be together is life long
@@b.melakail Not even religion is a guarantee. There are a lot of tradcon chameleons out there who have learned to hide their shady past. And while Jesus may forgive you, your body and psyche will remember. The more sexual partners a woman has had, the bigger your chance will be of a divorce. Jesus forgiving her for her sins will not change that.
No it just makes you someone that has poor decision making skills. You can know if you’re compatible within weeks. It’s not that hard. People don’t do that though and waste time for no reason and are with people they are not compatible with. Someone in the comments wasted 9 years of his life because they didn’t agree on having children. Like how? You can know that on the first day you meet them. Do you want kids? No? Ok, it was nice meeting you but you’re not the one. That’s it.
Got married young. You do grow up together and shape each other. But many times people just change to drastically and you get divorced. For many men, this can derail and cripple them for decades.
I was 17 and my husband was 19. We meet at 15 and 17. We are 35 and 37 now. We still together 3 kids and a dog.
guy talking like we live in Victorian times without relevance to our current culture.
By the time you're 40, you discover that, over time, you've evolved into a completely different person that when you were at the ripe age of 27. No doubt your habits are different, your interests are different, and your priorities are different. So it's no surprise that many of us who married really young will often look back on the decision with some measure of regret. Plus Divorce is 50% less likely for someone who is 25 years old when they wed, compared to 20.
A study reveals that getting married after one's mid-30s is actually riskier than getting married in one's late 20s.
The best age at which to get married appears to be between 28 and 32, according to research.
I think Ben is completely right, the problem is that the culture has radically changed to make sure most men can't have what Ben has told us about. We can only change ourselves.
Yea, how many people fall in love and and up marrying a childhood sweetheart? And how many women today will really even consider marrying a broke guy? Ben isn't experienced in today's sexual market place.
@@kenttyler1243 Yeah the unfortunate state of the current dating climate was completely neglected in this video. We don't live in a time era where you can just meet someone on the sidewalk or at a park, or at a shopping mall and, like a fairytale, everything just falls in place and you live happily ever after. Nowadays looking for a SO, or hell even just a date is fucking chore anymore. Everyone is either busy, broke, or both. They all have something going on. Even at social events, it seems like everyone is already taken and there isn't much opportunity to have a shot at finding someone anymore. The modern dating market is a fucking mess, and at some point the thrill of looking for someone just stops being fun. It really cripples your motivation to keep trying.
@@bretbuckley704and then when you're still single because of these issues, Ben and half bus supporters just go on about how you must be a gay liberal Marxist/bad Christian/ destroying the fabric of the country because you didn't get married at 18 after proposing on your 3rd date and then have your first kid 9 months after the wedding.
My wife and I were young when we married. I was 20. Best thing I ever did. We didn't get each other at first, but we grew into each other. Today she's my best friend., and most importantly, the one human being on earth that I trust the most.
This was nauseating. Ben is becoming increasingly out of touch.
I think it's something that is personal and everyone has to decide for themselves. I also feel like someone should know themselves pretty well before they make that decision and commitment. Sometimes that comes with a little bit of age under your belt.
I completely agree with you. You can’t put an age and time on something, especially marriage.
Nah, this is just terrible advice. I don’t think someone should expect a fairy tale person or marriage, that’s unrealistic. But just diving in as young as possible at the first chance you get is just jumping headfirst into another set of problems. There’s a middle ground.
Ideally, sure. But I think it should be noted that each individual needs to discover who they themselves are before they seek out that relationship. We all need to struggle, perhaps even hit rock bottom, and figure out how to navigate life on our own before we settle down. Too many people let their friends define who they are, we all need to spend a solid amount of time alone to truly discover ourselves.
Bullshit. Humans are social creatures and we find ourselves in our community.
@@squidlytv Nobody finds themselves when they constantly feel pressure to fit in or to conform to a particular idea.
@@jimboramba It's not about conformation or fitting in. It's about helping other people besides yourself. You can't go far without other people
Stop trying to find yourself. It is a waste of time.
@@squidlytv That's true, but it is also true that you can find yourself in more trouble than you'd get yourself in on your own if you associate with the wrong kinds of people. Forget marriage, look at all the people who are teaching this woke garbage at schools. Herd mentality is strongest among children and they are very susceptible to being convinced of being something or someone that they are not.
Well damn, im 27 and unmarried. I was always taught to have the resources to sustain a family and then find a spouse. I’m happy. But society really puts pressure of time on single men and women. Anyone care to comment?
Well if society is still putting on that pressure it isn't working too well because marriage rates are dropping fast and hard. I'm 34 and still don't have the resources to start a family. I will within a few years but that puts me at my late 30s. My mom had me at 37 and my youngest sister at 42 (which wasn't common in early 90s like it is today) so it's fairly normal in my mind. I grew up upper middle class because they both had good paying careers already in our younger years. I'd like to do the same for my kids. I also am in good health / youthful and can see myself living to 120 so I don't see the rush other than I'd like my parents to see my kids and they're already in their early 70s. Society changed drastically in a short amount of time. Us Millennials have to figure it out as best we can.
I am an older Millenial who got married at age 36. My wife and I just recently became first time parents at ages 37/38.
I think there is a lot of benefit to getting married younger, not least having the chance to grow together as a couple during such a formative stage of your life and to be parents of small children when you yourself have more energy.
That being said, as cliche as this sounds, I think it's imperative to meet the right person. Getting married to the "wrong" person at a young age, is all else considered, worse than getting married at a later age (e.g., 30s) to someone is a good fit in terms of values, goals, temperament, etc.
The grass is always greener mentality and rampant narcissistic social media has made it almost impossible to find and sustain true committed love
Unfortunately, not everyone has a perfect life. I'm glad it worked out for all these people. But, IN REALITY marriage is not for the majority, because life is life, humans are humans, different situations, etc. Stop 🛑 promoting this un- realistic life style. Kutos to you all who like this life style & it worked out for you all. Just saying, my REAL LIFE does not promote this utopia world on either side. Every situation is different because WE are all different.
I think this is horrible advice don't think you should wait too late and definitely shouldn't get married to young because it's a great possibility you will divorce.
I think these people think they delete that just because you're on the right side you are perfect or something like that is just ridiculous people don't have the maturity today for marriage. Most people had absent parents or horrible parents you got to take time to get over things that happen in your childhood through your adulthood. A lot of people are lacking support through their childhood because both parents are working and no one stays at home for the child and that's if you have good parents. A nanny doesn't cut it they need their parents. I know this is a very unpopular opinion because obviously the right has some delusions about themselves as well the right and left is pretty much a cult.
Met my husband when we were 20. We dated, then courted, then married 9 days after my 25th birthday. Meeting him was like finding my long-lost best friend. We spent a few years apart while courting (due to missionary work on opposite coasts), but that only served to help us get to know one another on a deeper level. Fifteen and a half years later and I never anticipated that marriage could be this good. It is because we work for it.
I think it's great if you find the right person when you're young, however it's not the case for all people. A lot of people I know got married young and were divorced many times. I'm 37 amd have never been married . .doesn't mean something is wrong with me it's just that God has not allowed me to meet him. I'm ok if it does or doesn't happen. What is right for one person isn't right for another. We all have different paths in life.
Idk man the girls now a days are insane bro
men are just as insane.
For real. Half of them should be in the looney bin. The other half can’t even make a sandwich. Where did all the real womxn go??
Got married at 19 now 29 and still married to the love of my life. We did do things out of order and God delt with us (life) so grateful for the prayers of my parents. They have prayed that all my siblings and I get married and never divorce. My parents have been together since before I was even born and got married when I was 3. So no thought came to mind to choose being single but to always have a traditional family. We have 3 Handsome sons that mean everything to us. My husband is a beautiful man inside and out. His mentor is my dad and I’m so grateful for that. It’s nothing out in these streets. Who ever your with you’re going to have to deal with a lot but atleast your with someone you love. ❤
Congrats! How old were you guys when you first met?
I'm 35, not married, never will be married. I don't need marriage or children. I'm perfectly happy not in a relationship
That's awesome but God also didn't design Man in general to be alone forever.
I'm glad you're satisfied but you sound like you're hating on people who want to be relationships. Relationship with other people is important too
I need advice ASAP. Both of my parents have been divorced since my early childhood, so I have defaulted to the standard nuclear family structure as the ideal. I want to marry young, but both of my parents say that I must spend my early-mid twenties finding out who I am. They say that I will probably grow apart from my girlfriend when I am in my twenties, and that it will be much more devastating if I am married and have kids then. I don't know what to do or say. I see how they are biased, but what can I really say? "I am your teenage son and I know better than you" sounds stupid. It is stupid.
JESUS CHRIST DIED FOR OUR SINS According to the scriptures and that he was BURIED and that he rose again the third day praying for everyone everyday God bless you all
That’s a slippery slope, I’ve seen too many young kids rush into marriage just to have it fall apart, I think people should take their time and really get to know the other person and grow as a couple before they get married
I think marriage is a very individual thing. Not everyone is able to marry young, nor should they feel compelled to do so. In my country, many people get married around 20-25 and start popping out babies immediately. But at the same time, very few of the couples who I know that got married young are actually happy. In fact, divorce rates for young marriages where I live is extremely high. It's a nice idea in theory, and I applaud the couples who did get married young and maintained a great relationship, but it's just not very realistic in our day and age. As a 25 year old woman, I still have a couple of key problems to sort, milestones to accomplish and understand myself better as an individual. Personally, getting married young for me would have been a disaster. Which goes back to my original point of when and if to get married being a very individual thing.
I was 21 my husband was 19 we have been married 31 years this November. I don’t regret one day of our choice. We have 3 beautiful daughters and 2 grandchildren. It’s a wonderful life.
Don’t agree. You should get married when you find the right person. There is no reason to rush and get married at a young age if you’re not ready.
I had several relationships in the past that I am so thankful didn’t work out, because it would have ended in misery and resentment if we tried to force it to work.
Got married in my early 30s, second kid on the way and we couldn’t be happier.
Not saying it’s wrong to get married young, but you better be sure you’re committed to what that means.
Unfortunately, I will never be married. I don’t think God has it planned for me at my ripe age of 44yr. Strange how there are many good single people out there who want marriage and that aren’t married. ☹️
you are still a young man. there a lot of men in their 40s and 50s who are marrying and having children.
Not everyone gets a happy ending
I got married when we both were 18, best decision I've ever made
I was 25 and my wife was 19 when we got married. I asked her to marry me twice and she said no twice. There was no 3rd time. I told her she had 2 weeks that we were getting married. That was 27 years ago. There's no other woman that could ever replace her in my life. We hardly ever argue and if there's a problem we can talk to each other. She's my best friend, my biggest supporter and critic and my soulmate. I love her as much today as 30 years ago and nothing will ever change that.
Beautiful.
@P Cash~
Wonderful testimony.
God bless you and your family.
You simp bro......She denied you twice and you still hanging on her ass...If you had self respect, you would have moved on already
there is no other woman that could ever replace her... maybe not replace, but could be different and fun. You will never know I guess.
you sound desperate
I'm 27 and single with no one even remotely interested in me, its the best!
I love it!
I get to lay in a bed by myself all of my life... its fantastic!
I think things have changed and Ben doesn't know what people are like these days. He's been out of the dating scene for so long he doesn't know what it's like for guys these days. He's still right though.
As a man, given the current state of fourth wave feminism and the biased court system, getting married is the best way to ruin your life. No thanks.
The problem is that both Ben and Jordan are from a different generation, so that's why this is their advice. Go ask every young man out there what incentive there is to actually get married and if there's someone to get married to. This used to be a normal and expected step of life, but getting married and actually succeeding in it is a privilege nowadays. As sad as it may be, dating advice from older people isn't worth much for us since it's a different world now, and some of us quit trying to go against the flow.
Exactly. Marriage in this era is a minefield - especially for men.
Oh please they’re young millennials. They’re not old. Doom and gloom is hardly attractive. What don’t you men understand that you CHOOSE the woman. How about work a bit on yourself and attract the right woman. Your mindset it so toxic and will just lead to you being alone 🤷🏻♀️
@@alqoshgirl I second this comment, success - much like love and loyalty, is EARNED, not bought borrowed and certainly not a god given right. Self improvement, personal responsibility, mindfulness and gratitude my friend. There is much to be learned from your elders, even old Gen X bangers like me 😏 Keep the faith young Josué, positivity attracts. All the best to you and yours 👌🏻🤍💋
@@alqoshgirl They were married before social media and dating apps became the norm. If you haven't noticed, those were game changers.
And "you men"? That explains a lot.
@@rarebird_82 I know that. They're not rights, so they must be worked and fought for. The thing is that effort is often stimulated by reward, and it's basic biology. If there's no reward, effort is wasted. I don't blame myself or other guys who just quit, because we can say that we tried, whereas older people didn't even play this game to begin with.
I disagree. You shouldn't get married, period. At least, not under the current law for the men. That's just idiotic.
33 and barely any relationships, still trying though but I'm losing motivation with every year
I disagree.
Marriage shouldn't be a goal or important.
Be the best version lf yourself is more important