Daughter blocked me after the divorce without listening to my side of the story contacted me now...
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- Опубліковано 20 вер 2024
- Daughter blocked me after the divorce without listening to my side of the story contacted me now, 8 years later, to get my inheritance.
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I thought the daughter was a kid being manipulated by her mum but her being a grown woman makes it so much worse
Time to go NC forever.
Being 20 in US is being 12 in the rest of the world
She kind of was though, yeah, the wife's a POS but OP went full auto destruction mode and put the relationship with his daughter in a silver plate for the wife to destroy, and guess what, turns out the unfaithful wife wasn't honest after the divorce *surprised Pikachu face*
If you hate someone for a few years into adulthood it doesn't magically go away or makes you want to talk to them. Daughter was sure OP was a POS, so why would she want to have contact? She was wrong because she was fed up lies, but her thought process makes some sense (until she asks for inheritance, she is delulu there)
You act like at 20, the wife's lies wouldn't be there anymore.
Daughter showed her true colors, now she's playing the long con... people can change, but some things never change. She's her mother's daughter, not her fathers. There's no undoing that dynamic
Yes, she's now in it for the long con. She will now put some effort into just getting together every now and then. She will likely never mention inheritance again but keep track of OP to see if anyone else appears in his life that could possible steal that inheritance. If he never finds another partner, she will likely just wait it out hoping it will come to her.
@@HoucKSF She's his child - and her grandmothers grandchild - regardless of how she acts that man is going to die eventually within the next 30 years anyway no point in holding onto money that wont serve you at all.
And since he has no other family anyway it doesn't matter because once he dies his shit is getting taken to the cleaners.
Parents are only useful for being ATM's and caretakers, don't need them for anything else. Play nice and get what you want then gtfo old crusty dusty ass man.
She's in it to win it. Now she only need to make sure her dad never remarries again and she will get the inheritance once OP kicked the can. Plus she can now convinces her father to pay for her kid's college. Long con indeed.
She might have looks back on it all and thought she was wrong, but people do like to play thr long game. I've heard family members talking about inheritance and just waiting for their parents to die just so they can get a better house, jokes on them as most of the money is gone from atleast one side and the other is probably spending it before they die
@@l-l-l-l-l-l-l As she should👏, and that's his job he brought her into this world she didn't ask to be born you take responsibility for what you created for life.
Nothing good can come from having the daughter back in his life. She'll do and say anything to get that inheritance and once she does, it's back to no contact.
Meh. He can at least try to be the grandfather of his daughter's future children.
@@estebanatachaoarguedas6321 bruh, she had no contact for 8 years. grand children wont be going to visit grandpa. once the daughter gets the inheritance.
@@estebanatachaoarguedas6321Until she's squeezed him of everything he has and no longer lets her kids see him.
She doesn't want a relationship with him and never will
If he's allowed back , watch them get the money and go no contact. If he I'd allowed contact it will be the bare minimum maybe allowed to see them with the parent for the time when they are just doing quick small talk
Who cares the grandmother clearly wanted it to go to her anyway and she should have put it in a will so douchebag dad couldn't try to force a relationship with someone not interested.
Kids are not entitled to love you or have a relationship with you, but they sure as hell are entitled to your shit when you die because you have no one else. Sucks to suck but it is what it is.
#parentsareonlyATMS
OP should not give the daughter a single dime. Trust first impressions. Trust her reaction when she found out there was no money.
The wedding invitation was her first step to smooth thing out with her father hoping to be his sole heir. I really hope OP meets someone that makes him happy and start a new family.
It's not even first impressions. She first showed him her true nature when she completely cut him out without hearing him out during the divorce. Then she showed it a second time when she showed up only because she thought she might get money. Then there was the third with getting his ex-wife that destroyed him to come around and shame him into trying to give her the money. Now this is her fourth attempt. He really knows deep down what she is doing he just needs to grow a pair and tell her to ff off.
@@InDeathWeLove she was a kid he cheated and her mom cheated and he was being a drunk and a shitty dad I don’t understand what y’all expect from these kids
If I were him I'd rather pull a joker on that money than giving it to my "daughter"
Too right
I'd show up to the wedding in a limo and dressed to the nines telling everyone I'm just stopping by before heading out for an expensive vacation.
@@brotherhoodofsteel4751😂😂😂😂😂.
just give it to charity
"It's not about money. It's about sending a message!"
...in all seriousness though, better use it for charity.
Dude, if she was really regretful instead of saying "I will consider inviting you to my wedding" she would say"Dad, you're invited to the wedding".
So glad I wasn't the only one irked by that. The hell she mean by ''I'll be happy to have you at my wedding in exchange for forgiveness''? If she was genuine, she would have offered both the wedding invite & attempt to rebuild, no strings attached
Her real father probably walked her down the aisle. (Since it wasn't op)
@@jessicathompson236 love women making assumptions about real people
@@simeon9962love men generalising women
@@simeon9962
The woman cheated several times before the divorce after all with different men.
What are the odds that the daughter is his?
She was 18-20 years old when the events happened. She was a grown ass adult.
She wasn't manipulated, she chose to destroy her relationship with her father and only came back for money.
Even if he would've been walking her ungrateful ass down the isle(which he should've since he raised her), he shouldn't have gone.
18-20 is far from grown ass adult. 30+ years of age is a grown ass adult.
She was manipulated by her narcisstic mother. When you get manipulated you think differently.
@@TwinkieCakey Stop making excuses for her >_>. If I at 18-20 went to someone and stabbed them because someone else "Manipulated me" I wouldn't be given a slap on the wrist because "I'm far from a groan ass adult". An 18-20 year old can go to war, in most cultures someone that's 14-16 is considered an adult, especially if male. Stop coddling her.
@@thirstyserpent1079 I'm not. Whoever goes to war at 18-20 years old need to reevaluate their life decisions.
In which culture on this entire Earth is 14-16 considered adult? What the fuck? That's TEEN years.
I still wouldn't forgive her regardless she was manipulated by her mother. You get to have a chance to change. She didn't.
@@TwinkieCakey I will literally direct you to Africa, The Middle East, Asia etc. There is a reason child soldiers exist and young boys are used as hunters, workers, soldiers etc.
There's also a reason that professional national female soccer teams lose to high school boys teams on the regular :V. Physically boys are very dangerous by the time they are 14.
@@thirstyserpent1079 I have to agree with Twinkie here. 18-20 you're pretty much still a kid
How does he even know the daughter is his, after the wife's long list of betrayal?
Yeah, I wondered that. He should get DNA tested just in case.
@@_cup_of_teado we even know the mother gave birth to that daughter maybe she saw a baby that was crying and the mother might have gotten angry because she cares for the kid and wants to bee strong so she acts all mean and rude
@@_cup_of_tea It's not even worth it at this point. Would just fracture their Relationship, or whats left of it even more
youre very funny.@@funtime7723
yeah its a mess. A man in this position can only make a new family and leave the past where it is.@@Pidatha
The fact that he's lonely is a bad sign.. she's playing him, I just hope he has the willpower to hold his ground
Being single and being lonely is a huge difference, he might not have not have a family left he has a group he goes drinking with that are prolly his good friends. A good friendgroup can almost be as good as good blood relatives. Friends can do more then you think mainly during youre darkest days!
@@maxnum1sgameclub263 Friends can only fill the void for so long till u have to go back to an empty home with no family waiting for you. I hope he finds someone to start a new life, away from this Toxicity
@@maxnum1sgameclub263Agreed!
@@maxnum1sgameclub263 +1 on that one!
Friends are POWERFUL and the can be a life quality company!
The invitation to the wedding was likely the mothers idea. This guy opened the door to the money by telling them both that if the daughter approached him differently she would have gotten the money. So now they are trying that route. If they fool him and he gives money to the daughter that will be the last he hears from her. This guy needs to move on from both of these women!
They succeeded. The man never learns...
She should get NOTHING. In some states, you can't disinherit a spouse, but you have no obligation to leave anything to an adult child. The fact that she ignored you for so long, until she started worrying about her inheritance, shows you that her priority is your money, and not you. Leave your money to charity, not the greedy daughter.
She ignored OP because OP was alcholic and abandoned her. He 100% created the situation himself with his daughter
@@eveliinahanneleIs this video about you?😂
@@mildintensity5052 who knows? Why is that relevant?
@@eveliinahannele because it's a bad argument. Yes he failed his daughter but herself failed her grandmother . She 100% responsible to be no contact with her and dare to ask inheritance?
@@eveliinahannele with the father, yes, he probably dug his own grave there. Not showing up for the grandmother the whole time and then suddenly demanding the inheritance? that is 100% her fault for not getting anything. If the grandmother wanted her to inherit a lot of the money then she probably was in the will. The grandmother was still healthy for 4 years after the divorce, I bet she removed her from her will because she never showed up again.
It's normal for people to be in different life stages with alzheimer, so her asking to see her granddaughter is only normal there but that doesnt mean that she may not felt hurt the past.
Honestly the fact that the ex wife just said "I probably should not have taken things as far as I have" during the divorce, I know parents can be overly sentimental but if my ex wife said that, and my daughture was clearly only interested in the inheritance then I would be forced to cut both out of my life forever
the fact that the ex brought up the money **AT ALL** means it's about the money. If he didn't have money she would have left him to rot and never said a thing to him ever again, which was her apparent wish, until suddenly it was not.
Daughter invites you to wedding, apologizes, and tries to reconnect after the wife tries to strong arm you into also giving her the inheritance, after saying if she would have tried to reconnect she probably would have gotten it all.
Even if she plays the loving daughter who "doesn't care about the money", it's 100% what it's about. even if it's a waiting game before getting it.
To put it to the test, you can say on your death all the money you own/property is going to be donated or w/e. bet her true colors will show immediately again.
the guy just needs to move on its a lost cause i dont know why he didnt say fuck off when he saw them first thing.
Facts. After she showed her true colors the first time he should've just went no contact permanently
yeah then girls whoes
And if she's okay with it? Y'all need to realize that people can change.
@@simeon9962 They don't change that fast in the course of days. Try again.
They 100% want to punk him at the wedding lol, he'll go there and they'll try to peer pressure him into saying yes
The fact is she ignored you, does she know about the circumstances of the divorce or just what OP's ex told her. If she knows the whole story and still reacted like that she doesn't deserve a father or any other paternal figure in her life and honestly the ex will find a special place in hell waiting for her and when she kicks it the world will be a better place without her in it.
"Never got the chance to hear my side"
Nuh uh. You said she's an adult. It's not that she couldn't at least hear you out, it's that she *didn't* at least hear you out.
Yeah that's what threw me, based on the ages and time, the daughter would've been 18. My 13 year old is smart enough to know this stuff.
The last year of their marriage he was drunk and then continued. Why she should listen to him if he didn't give a damn about her back then
@@sinnombre1439 He stopped been drank at some point and even tried to reach to her until the mother threatened to sue him.
OP's daughter is every bit her mother's daughter. She didn't care about OP, or her grandmother, until she thought she was going to get inheritance. Everything she does from that point forward must be measured against that; she's wanting inheritance. OP would be wise to make sure she can't get a hold of any private information or anything like that, because there's no telling what she'll try if she feels she's being cheated out of what she believes belongs to her (it doesn't).
There is no harm in going to the wedding, but OP should not think even for a second that his daughter cares. She's just playing the long con now.
She's definitely just trying to get on his good side.
They are going to use the wedding to beat him so hard about the inheritance later.
I know he wants to look on the bright side but both his daughter and his ex have shown the only interest they have in him is his money.
RIP OPs future, I really feel sorry for the death spiral he's walking into.
I was 13yrs when my parents divorced and made very clear for them that I was not their therapist and would not listen to any complains regarding their romantic life. They are both grown adults, capable of taking their own decisions and deal with the consequences, there was no 'side' to pick, their divorce shouldn't affect their love for me and same for me.
how the hell were you able to make it very clear for them that you were not their therapist at 13yrs old?? It took me 7 years to realise how toxic it was of my parents to pour all their emotions at me and were forcing me to pick a side. I really wish I had a mindset like you back then since I was 13.
You hear of parental alienation of a child as a weapon against the other parent so often it sadly seems to be a common tactic.
@@srujanpetumpuri2900I was 11 when I had to tell my mom to stop trying to convince me to hate my dad just because she was mad at him. How she felt about him, and seeing me hurt when he failed me had nothing to do with how I felt about him.
For me, both my parents have done shit to hurt me, and I was still dealing with the death of my little brother from when I was 3. The dark place my mental state was in on the daily afforded me an intro and outro perspective of what was happening around me. I was essentially thinking and acting at a maturity level beyond my years because of depression and facing suicidal thoughts.
It was really difficult for me to tell them I wasn't their therapist. Any problem - money, relationships, gossips, delusional shit - all came to me. At least I realized just in time to not trust anyone, because it's either false, honeyed down, or heavily biased.
You have to be critical of people. I noticed my parents were nuts when I was 7. More like they showed me how nuts they were. Its not your fault you couldnt stand up for yourself, a child's mind creates defense mechanisms because those kinds of realizations are painful. I never really recovered from discovering how sick people can be, so be thankful in many ways you did not need to be that independent at that young age. It honestly ruined my life coping with these lines of thinking. @@srujanpetumpuri2900
All I can say to OP is even if he does reconcile with his daughter in a meaningful way. He still shouldn't give her the inheritance. Instead, he should give it to her children when she has them. That way she doesn't get it but still benefits indirectly. Consider it a consolation prize.
I would have never told her i had the money. I would've said grandma donated it or something and see how she felt about a relationship then knowing there was no way of getting it even if i wanted to.
Could even say it was used on grandma's medical expenses for her end of life care. If she still wants a relationship after knowing there's no money then it's genuine. She's not genuine.
Aye i like both of these responses, but this G straight up said oh i have the Inheritance but im planning to use it to create a business...which in tht scenario would immediately bring up spite an resentment in his daughter if her intention was the Inheritance...He hit the nail on the head. Sly dog was well spoken here. On another note, much love an hope he sticks around his daughter and maybe opens a trustfund for the grandkids maybe..let the coin skip a generation if ya know? (Maybe dont tell em)😂 Also try move on start your own family G 👊
How's that saying go 🤔 When there's a death, there's a will, where there's will there's a family, and where there's a family there is a feud...sum like tht.😅
I dont think that's believable. A Rich landlady with multiple properties who's on good terms with her only son, left him nothing? Very Unlikely 🧐
Bro, both OP and the daughter infantilised her pretty hard. She was around 20 when the divorce happened. Sure, that’s not the end of cerebral development but she’s a legal adult. The audacity to call her (and she herself) „little girl at that time when the divorce“ happened
She isn't genuine. She didn't contact him to ask how he was, she contacted him to ask how much money he was leaving her. She's probably angling to get some, or all, of her inheritance early. Like the Frantics say, she gets a boot to the head.
OP totally glossed over he was an alchoholic who abandoned her daughter for years before the divorce. It doesn't matter what his reasons are for becoming one, he did and losing the relationship with his daughter is the consequence of that. Addiction causes tremendious harm to the people around you. Yeah sure, the daughter was not very tasteful but OP is not a victim here.
Very little brain development happens after the age of 18. It's almost fully matured by that point, she was an adult, she made that decision and isn't even willing to take responsibility or face the consequences of that decision.
I think this is one of the plot holes in this story that imply it is fictional. Constructed and presented to be real, but likely made up. It's still an interesting situation to ponder though.
Go to the wedding and donate the inheritance to charity if he really doesn't need it. Best way to see if she really wants a relationship is if the money is absolutely out of the picture
What he should of done was tell it was all gone lost to scams or something (I'm not sure how you could lose alot of money that sounds believable
The daughter is 28 and it has been 8 years she wasn't a child she was a 20 year old
But it was a year plus prior to that when OP became a deadbeat drunk with no explanation. By the time he tried to reach out and explain it was too late, wife had more than a year of uncontested time to spin the narrative.
He tries to play it off like he caught wife cheating, filed for divorce, and daughter ghosted him out of the blue, which completely ignores his actions and the damage he did to their relationship before that point.
@@Vipre-So he caught his wife cheating on him for years with multiple partners, goes into depression which leads to becoming an alcoholic kind of. Yet somehow he’s still in the fault !? All of this is the wife fault for being a horrible and manipulative human being. Weird how the daughter can’t understand why and how he became like but then again, mother like daughter.
@@GreatDemonVenerable She might now after nearly a decade and finally hearing his side but at the time she had nothing to go on but his actions and her mother's version of events so her reaction is totally understandable. OP isn't entirely to blame at all, but he isn't wholly innocent in the mess either and did his part in creating it.
@@Vipre- She doesn't deserve his money no matter how much you justify it. He should get restraining order against them
@@Vipre- The girl was 20 then, she should know both sides of the story instead getting easily manipulated like that. I’m 18 and even I would’ve made sure to know both sides before removing someone out of my life. I had similar problem to this with my parents but they both took accountability for their actions unlike in this story where the father did admit he had some fault by admitting he became an alcoholic unlike the mom who takes 0 responsibility of committing numerous adultery. Maybe the daughter doesn’t know because if I knew my mom did that I would’ve walked out on her.
Daughter said the reason why she cut contact for a decade was because her mum made the dad look like a terrible guy, and she said that she believed her mother because she never got his side of the story.
Which is pretty hard to get when you cut off all contact with someone before asking them...
the daughter is tryin to either soften u up to get money/pay for the expensive wedding, or she will try to embarrass u st he wedding paintin u as a horrible person. ur ex is probably involved because she wanted money too.
be careful with chicks tha freak out when told no like ur daughter did, there are the ones who make false allagations and stuff like that
Be careful with women PERIOD. If you piss one off and they give you that specific look (you would know it when you see it) just run away and don’t look back. Women have too much social power in today’s society and they will not hesitate to ruin your life with it. Courts and public opinion are always in their favor.
Tell her you included her in the will, write exactly 1 dollar. That way you can both tell her you did, and lawyers can't say she was forgotten and try to claim more.
I wish op's daughter really regrets thing she have done and reconnect with op although the chance is very slim. Even if she is genuine, I still can't bring myself not to dislike her. What she did is really horrible
She's just acting nice to fleece him out of his assets.
"she was a little girl" she was 20, dude. that's very, very far from a "little girl"
OP is so kind , if i was there i would have told her to leave directly as soon as she told her intentions
Kind...and stupid. She is taking advantage of him, and if he cannot see it...he deserves what is coming for him.
Unfortunately I just don't trust the daughter by the end. It is possible she has two intentions, where part of her does maybe want to see where it goes but I'd bet hard money that she has not forsaken her greed. People can change, they do change, but they need time to reflect and grow. The mother showing up was not coincidental it was a calculated move further amplified by the daughter making a jab at him with the mothers name invoked. Going forward he's free to have a relationship with her but he should never forget she's orbiting for one thing. He could easily announce where his money will go after his passing after a year and see if she excuses herself when the money is truly off the table.
Crappy situations is crappy, I'd love to tell him "Just leave" but unfortunately it is his daughter and that's just such a hard thing to actually do no matter what you're in the face of.
I'm pretty sure when she didn't had the money, she go crying to her mommy and she respond" I'll take care of this".
these two reach him only for money, they didn't even care if he was alive before.
Omg. Ex wife? Wedding ? Don't try talking me out of this nonsense of none of these stories aren't you or even trying to say you know nothing about the phones the lies I will file for us both I don't want any money you knew I wasn't about money I just wanted the love you once had for me but it's gone. I'm not staying where I'm not welcomed you broke me a year a year. Omg I should of known you punching yourself screaming you punched me I'm calling the cops yet ne er realizing our son was behind you both times that evening first on top of me choking me then he walked in on you punching yourself before u knew he was standing there you tried screaming I hit you. I'm taking our son to. I don't want child support I don't want you near him
I mean he didnt really say why they got a divorce though. i think that matters ALOT. for exsample he could have cheated but he thinks he could have justifed himself by complanning.
@@Mayawamaqdid you watch the video? He said why they divorced. His wife was the one who cheated on him.
@@Mayawamaq he quite literally details why they divorced. She was a serial cheater and he ended up turning to alcohol and cheating when he found out and nothing improved eventually leading to the divorce. At least pay attention to the video if you're going to comment.
OP really shouldn't go to the wedding or be present in the daughter's life. She'll onky stick around for the money as soon as she gets it She'll for sure dump OP. I feel bad for this guy.
The daughter being young is the worst excuse ever
Just beacuse someone is young doesn't mean they aren't self aware of their guilt, she could have patched things up but didn't
Also she wasn't that young. 20 is not an age where age can be used as an excuse for your horrible actions. I start losing sympathy for it when you get to 16 and by 18 your actions are entirely your own fault in my opinion so at 20 yeah it's all on herself for ruining their relationship and losing the inheritance.
She wasn't "too young" to understand back then. She was grown enough to know to listen to both sides! I get a lot of parents see their child as still, essentially, their baby, but no. Don't give her any money. The fact she looked at you with pure hatred speaks volumes. Keeping the inheritance away from her is not a punishment. It ought to be a blessing. It would be too easy for her to grab it and run. Not worth your time, man. Not worth the heartbreak.
OP is not a victim here. OP was alcoholic for years before the divorce and ignored the daughter. It doesn't matter why he became an alcoholic, the feeling when your parent chooses addiction over you is crushing and damaging. Can't blame the daughter for not wanting anything to do with OP. OP betrayed her first and losing her was the consequence of his own actions.
@@eveliinahannele Neither of the parents were victims, I completely agree. I'm just saying he shouldn't feel indebted when she obviously didn't seem interested in rebuilding a connection. She just wanted the money and tried to manipulate him. It wasn't just "she didn't want anything to do with him". Otherwise, she wouldn't have contacted him in the first place after hearing about his mother's passing.
He paid for his actions just as she has to pay for hers. You don't just go after someone for a large inheritance after not wanting to be a part of their life and after someone close to them died.
@@etainvelorum5814 Ofc she didn't want to rebuild a connection, he was alcholic. He was the one who ruined the relationship and betrayed his own child. It's not her job to rebuild the relationship, not the childs who suffered through your substance abuse. He 100% should feel indebted and there is no way to pay for your actions when you make your home unsafe for your child. Was the daughters way of doing things a bit off, yes. But she had nothing to lose.
@@eveliinahannele She was a full grown adult at the time and it's still wrong to take advantage of someone while they're grieving. It's one thing to block him before, but it's quite another to wait till they're vulnerable to then fake niceties by saying you'd like to rebuild the relationship but it was really for the sake of money. All she stood to gain was money and that was all she cared about.
@@etainvelorum5814 she was 20 when they divorced so she was 18 when he started drinking or even younger. That's not mentally an adult and she 100% was too young to understand, even adults can't understand their loved ones addictions. She is just showing the same level of empathy he had for her when she was young.
Just remember, alcoholics have a way of downplaying the damage their drinking causes.
He should have told her to get lost the moment she contacted him
calling her little girl when she was 20 pahaha... bro at 20 years old i was living in my own Apartment working 40 Hour Weeks... she knew exactly what she was doing^^
At this point, denying her the inheritance is the best way for caring for her. She mad a bad decision, and the only way to make her a better person is to show her repercussions for making bad decisions.
This shows how a father's role is indispensable in a family - especially towards daughter.
New mission: warn the husband.
OP, you should tell your daughter that you officially disowned her and she will never receive any money from you, all you want after 8 years of ghosting to have father-daughter relationship,thats it...after that I can guarantee you that you will be uninvited from wedding and with clear mind that your daughter is just playing games for her own gains...sorry, she doesn't give 2 FS about you
One of the biggest advice I can give people, family is not special. I know people love to put family in this forgive all catagory "you can't stay mad, its family" as if family gives them an all access pass to screw you over. That is not true. Like toxic people, horrible friends, or just people in general, you are allowed to cut them out of your life. You will feel hurt because youre suppose to have this special relationship with them but thats the thing, its suppose to go both ways. If they don't treat you like family then don't treat them like family.
Cut them lose and don't look back.
the saddest part of this story is the false hope of the grandma to see her grandchild again
Just because you share DNA doesn't mean she's your daughter. If she doesn't have your beliefs, and she's grown as her mother, she's just your biological daughter, and that doesn't mean shit.
That is in doubt with all the affairs the wife had.
Might not even be his real daughter with all the cheating his ex did
I would find out a charity that the daughter and ex wife would never support like male victims of domestic abuse or male victims of false #MeToo allegations legal defense fund and donate the entire inheritance in their names to it that charity and publicly announce it far and wide just to upset them. Give it to a good cause instead the lost cause that is his daughter.
😢 I will never understand why anyone would deem inheritance more important than family.
but than again, my family is definitely better than any family I have seen out there.
Money can twist even the most good-hearted of people into evil beings.
@@Schaemia I would rather die or live under a bridge than sell my soul to the devil.
Infact I was taking care of my grandparents together with my mum for their final two years after my grandma got a stroke and my grandpa had advanced dementia/Alzheimer and I didn't inherit anything, my aunt got all the money (100k) and my cousin all the things.
And if you ask me, taking care of them was worth so much more than the money I could have inherited.
But my uncle saw it differently, he kidnapped my grandpa and tried to make him change his will.
I just took one of my grandpas belts as a memento, thats the one belt I use when I need one.
(my uncle was adopted btw and I don't count him as family anymore)
She only wants the inheritance to share it with her evil mother. Otherwise she wouldn't be in contact with OP, he needs to exercise caution in dealing with her.
Hope everything’s going well for him. :(
"She was very young." She was 20, LMAO!
It's very simple. If she really wants to rebuild the relationship, she will do it even without the inheritance. And if the relationship is genuine, she can get the inheritance after the dad dies (or after a decade). But she probably isn't genuine, so it will never come to it. (If this is not fake ofc.)
@@vojvoda_vuk ik
Tell your daughter there is no money, you gave it to charity. If she still wants to reconnect, it will be real. Put all the money in some kind of Trust. Make a Will so when you die it goes to kids with cancer.
She's playing the long game, I hope he realizes this and own up to his words and that the inheritance is completely out of the picture. He's smart, but he loves his daughter even after all those years. I hope he finds love and build a new family. A family deserving of those inheritance.
He is t least in his late 50s possibly in his 60s. The odds of him building an entire new family are practically 0. He might be able to get a younger single mom who is also looking at him as a source of money to call her and his stepdaughter/stepson "family".
If your daughter is being genuine she won’t even bring the money up anymore and be happy with your company and getting to know her dad. Just my take.
A person has a right to walk away from the abuse from another… including their own family.
No, not ideal… but sometimes necessary. Very necessary.
i hope it's not true but I think the daughter is playing the long game to get into op's good side again and be able to inherit everything. it's just weird timing after the mom comes the daughter calls some time after
This guy has to make sure his daughter isn't playing the long game to get the inheritance.
As bad horrible as it sounds, I think it's a necessity.
I'm sorry to say the outcome is obvious. He is a lonely man and she is his only family. He already told them that she would get everything if she made up with him. Even if he suspects manipulation, as long as she doesn't make it too obvious he'll let it slide. The saddest part is that it's plausible that she doesn't care for him. Even ignoring the wife's influence, this daughter would have watched this man lose himself to alcohol during the divorce while he neglected her. And after ten years, at their reunion she sees an aged lonely man who is broken and has done nothing with his life since the divorce. Respect is a huge component of relationships, and he likely has none from her.
He should tell her that she will never get the inheritance even after the dad dies. He should say he will give all the inheritance to charity or if he meets somone special
That was a really strong and solid thought when OP said "If it's money that makes it or breaks it for her, then maybe it's better if we don't have a relationship at all."
Bruh. Dude is being played like a fiddle.
She's playing the long game now Enjoy having your daughter back but get your own life PLEASE BE HAPPY
He could also found a foundation or association to help fathers in distress 😊
This is not going to end well, and I feel like the grief from the fallout will cause OP to do something drastic. I just hope that he makes it so that there's no way either is cheating ex or his harpy daughter see a cent of that money.
The daughter is just being nice to get the money, it’s actually so dumb she thinks that would work.
Her mother probably told her that inviting him to the wedding was the best way to manipulate him. She will likely try to pretend as if she cant afford certain things to get him to spend on her.
If this happened 8 years ago amd the daughter is currently 28 then she was 20 during the divorce. Thats old enough to know which parent was wrong and what she was doing.
OP should just consider getting a baby mama if he wants kids ( not a wife)
It is obviously true she is playing the long game. Even if she wasn't...why would you want a snake like that in your life?
She may be his biological daughter but she’s not a daughter to him
She feels both ways. She wants the money AND she wants a relationship with her Dad. It's not complicated.
Girls need their fathers, even if they're prideful and quick to anger.
If she were trying to manipulate you, she wouldn't have mentioned the money at all- she would have tried to get you to think it was all your idea.
No, she doesn't. She wants the money... and the relationship is a way to get it.
OP should have told both of them right from the start: there's NO inheritance left! NONE!
It was spent on lawyers, new mortgage, alimony, medical bills, end-of-life-care for the mother, starting his business etc...etc...
Whatever BS excuse he can think of...90% chance he NEVER hears from them again.
She’s just gonna keep him as a wallet for sure
4:26 WOW! She is definitely her mother’s daughter’s!!! Do NOT give her a dime!!!!!
Yeah idk, maybe I am way too cutthroat with people but just the daughter coming back asking about money would turn me off to wanting to associate. Now he has to second guess her intentions and that is just stressful to deal with because anytime she asks for a favor he is going to think everything nice she did was for that. I mean it is probably worth it for him and I hope it works out, but man is just setting himself up for a lot of stress if he tries to be a family again.
Daughter only gets a dollar. And 28 is mature enough to make smart adult decisions.
When people tell you who they are, believe them.
She’s playing the long game, she’s expecting him to reconsider after they got to rebuild their relationship, however that’ll backfire because he’s not giving it away
IMO, if money doesn't mean anything to you and you're comfortable- donate it to charity. Then it's gone and you won't have to worry about being manipulated over it.
She didn’t even invite him in the INITIAL PITCH. “Dad can you fund my wedding I didn’t tell you about OR invite you to? Thx”
Now that he IS invited he should be super suspicious, there’s gonna be hands out at that wedding, higher expectations of his gift, all of it
there are some wierd inconsistensies with the story, first she's was an adult at the divorce and thus he can't legally get any right to see her, but then it happened while she was young and she didn't know any better, then she wouldn't listen to his side, and now she was prevented from hearing his side. well, which is it? he makes it pretty clear he tried but she wouldn't listen, but also says she never even heard the story as if her mom hid it
I don't doubt that a dramatic story on reddit could be fake but it also sounds like there was some time gap between the discovery of the betrayal and the divorce so he might have had enough time being a bad father that it left an imprint on his teen daughter who resented him when she hit early adulthood and the divorce happened. Also the daughter is likely lying about being prevented from hearing his side or it is possible she was shielded by her mother who was the one that "sued him for harassment". Assuming it is real though, daughter is probably manipulating him for the long con.
I think he's lying to himself about the mom "stopping" her hearing his side in hopes that his daughter didn't just cut him out of her life on her own volition.
Also, he said his wife was a SAHM (2:48) and in the update, he said she was a famous local journalist at the time (9:20)
She was about 18 when the marriage blew up and he crawled into a bottle and any open bed with no explanation. She watched this mess and had her mother in her ear uncontested until he sobered up enough to file for divorce a year or so later.
A good compromise would be the money would be for the grandchildren to see would she still want the relationship if the money didn’t benefit her directly
Daughter is probably playing the long con now, pretend to be genuine in reestablishing a relationship and chip away at OP's resolve until either she or OP's grandkids get inheritance when OP kicks it.
bro got finessed
This is 1 sad world.. my parents are getting old now and I just wanna look after them... It's not even like we had the best relationship growing up... but now I just love them sm... ❤
I what world does paying your own flesh and blood money to have them in your life makes sense ? anyone that thinks tis needs to learn to keep their mouth closed
She should receive nothing, otherwise her relationship with her father incentivized
He should sponsor orphanage 😊
I would have lied and told the daughter when she asked that there was no inheritance and that all the money went towards taking care of Grandma.
Gold diggers gonna dig.
That is a bad friend, telling him to give the money to his gild digging daughter.
Its so obvious the daughter is expecting an inheufrom the dad when he passes away
Mixed sounds like OP has spent the last 8 years depressed/alone
He's got the money he doesn't need but lacks a family which he emotionally needs....
So kinda does make sense to just pay for his daughters fake love
Ideally he'd find a new family but if he hasn't even started in 8 years then understandable a friend telling him if he's gonna be a loser might as well be a happy one instead of a lonely one
Tell us your daughter is the Ukrainian President without saying she's the Ukrainian President...
A 20 yr old person is mature enough to understand the consequences of their actions.
Good luck thanks for sharing ur story
I cant imagine how painful it must be to be a father at a wedding and not be able to walk your own daughter down the aisle
As someone who was in a slightly similar situation as the daughter, i can /kinda/ understand why she immediately shut you out when she and the mom moved. To her, over the course of a few years her father was becoming extremely distant and getting drunk all the time, so when her parents finally separated it only made sense to go with mom. Not only was she upset that she felt neglected the past few years, she was also angry that someone had hurt her mom for no good reason (at least thats what she was lead to believe). BUT! Because of her age I do think she should have at least meet with him after a few months of the separation when emotions had settled into place, even if those emotions were hatred. I was a few months away from 18 when my parents suddenly (but finally) split, and since my relationship with my father was NOT good at the time I left with my mom who then proceeded to manipulate the shit out of me and the rest of my family. So again, i was upset with my dad in the first place, then things my mom told me he did made me enraged. But, after a few months when i felt like i could be in the same room as him, we had a talk and learned that my mother was lying/exaggerating a lot about not only the current issues but things in the past as well. I do think the daughter is DEFINITELY in the wrong for only reaching out for the inheritance at first and for not trying to have a conversation way earlier. But i can somewhat understand her reasoning for not reaching out sooner.
8 years? No she was a full grown adult. She needs to be held responsible for her own decisions. A 19 year old shouldn't be so stupid that if her father suddenly does a 180 and becomes an alcoholic that there might be a reason for that happening at such an advanced age. People don't just suddenly become alcoholics in their 40s or 50s without something serious happening to cause such a sudden shift. If you an adult gets so easily manipulated be someone without even talking to the person they are manipulating you about that's just as much on you as it is on them.
Also in case this gets twisted as if I'm making this personal as if I'm putting myself in the father's shoes to much then no. It is personal, but because I'm putting myself in the shoes of having been a child that went through my parents getting divorced and my father actually being an alcoholic and kind of an asshole, but I still had enough maturity to realise I should listen to both sides and make my own determination of what was what. I also was actually a child at the time and not a full on adult. It's not much to expect some basic sense and decency from an adult.
If my calculations are correct the divorce happened 8 yrs ago and the daughter is 28. She was a 20 yr old adult at that time. She should have gotten all the information from both sides instead of doing what she did. She wasn’t a child.
@@InDeathWeLoveis really different when you already have a parent that is an alcoholic than when he becomes and alcoholic lately, is not an excuse for the father he neglected his daughter and what happened to be a "happy" family became a nightmare. The father didn't seem to be to much at home during his daughter life and if you add the late alcohol problem is right for the daughter to not want to be there. Is not like he was in the streets so he could have reached his daughter if he wanted to, but decided to let her choose even if he was the first in screw up.
@@sinnombre1439 yea it is really different in that her behaviour is worse. She was an adult when he started drinking and could have had the wherewithal to think him suddenly turning to alcohol isn’t a norma change.
@@InDeathWeLove if I listened correctly he wasn't really around when he was a teenager so even if you think because she is an adult she should think about it is not. Trust me, is quite difficult to understand alcohol problems and even more difficult try to deal with someone who has this problems. So we know his side, but he conveniently left out the first time his alcohol problems, he is as manipulative as the mother as he make it look like that the problem was only the mother and don't think that was his alcohol problem making believe that is a minor thing when is not
"My Wife was a journalist"
Makes perfect sense.
They lie as easily as they breathe
Know why this story is utter bs? Because your children cannot claim your inheritance that you recieve from a parent, only your wife or husband can, and if your divorced, they can't have any of that, your children have zero claim, in the US or the UK, and if they want money from you when you die, one, you're not dead yet, and two, you don't have to leave it to them, you don't have to leave it to anybody, bequeath it to a charity and that'll be the end of it
How is it bs though?
If the story is true, the reason she went to her father and asked for the inheritance is because she had no claim to it. It is legally his, she was looking for him to gift it to her.
The nerve to actually do that is insane
Peoples friends give terrible advice most the time on these posts
I hear this story from time to time and every time I walk away sad overall because I know that guy is still out there. Lonely and struggling to cope.
Not moving on was stupid on his part, 10 years of waiting for what exactly? Just go make another kid ffs be a better dad the next time
Some ladies would kill for a good father like that. This lady just threw it all away and her motivation now is money. Very sad for this father. He has no one left when it comes to family.
WOW that daughter is PLAYING THE LONG GAME, She only wants the inheritance, i hope he sells the rentals and donate all the money away in his will
YOOOOOOO IM EARLY LETS GOOOOOO 3RD