When Asian Parents just MAKE STUFF UP
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- Опубліковано 14 гру 2023
- Based on a True Story.
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#skit #asian #parody #comedy #sketch #emotionaldamage
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@stevenhelive - Комедії
I felt like a complete failure since I failed the bar exam this year, but as an Asian, now I'm proud of myself because I can cook rice. Thank you, Steven.
Can you cook minute rice in 58 second, leh?
I know someone who failed multiple times before they passed. They now work for as a district attorney. Try, try again.
My dad's an attorney. He knew a lot of people who didn't pass on their first try. Keep working hard, don't give up!
D
cold water = ugly
gotcha
“Those who drink cold water become ugly” caught me laughing so hard
I knew a guy in 6th grade once, tallest in class, drank cold water for 2 month, froze all his height off, now he 5’1
scientific research has shown that everyone who died has consumed cold water at one point of their life
Its a good thing I'm Canadian, we have the same problem but in reverse, if we drink warm water we won't grow up to be a 6'5" built-like-a-brick-house lumberjack
My parents say this all the time. I live in Canada, everything is cold here so I just don't notice it.
Americans be like: ICE WATER YEAR ROUND
Me: oh so that's why Asians are always prettier than Americans; *cue the accent* because they dumb
"An empty browsing history says more than a full one" - Sun Tzu
!!! Gold
"Hey, why are we speaking English?!"
I laughed harder than I probably should have.
especially since English didn't even exist 2000 years ago.. at least, not the modern day version of English. hah. :)
yeah back then they said "how thou-why thoug-though- when thou- what's up bro"@@LazerWonder1998
[moderate accent:] "I don't know -- I thought you wanted to."[/accent]
@@LazerWonder1998 Not even Old English existed that long ago, lol
那些不吃西蘭花的人，將保持小母牛的身高。
I love how Steven's Dad started out with an actual common saying and then progressively got more and more nonsensical. Like how tf did he get from "early bird gets the worm" to "those who drink cold water become ugly"
Ikr🤣😂🤣😂😂🤣
I think I drank too much cold water as a kid
@@StevenHe 😂🤣😂🤣😂😂🤣😂
@@StevenHecheers 🧊🚰
@@NJDJ1986 "You know what they say about drinking tap water. Ones that drink it always grow up ugly and stupid."
Stephen's dad invented physics, so he could easily time travel for the sole purpose of spreading word of Stephen's failure. These stories became legend, passed down through the He family until they reached Stephen's dad, thus completing the failure time loop.
So "they" are all of them and his dad
Science!
Next level timelord shit...awesome 😂
Asian parents will do everything to make their kid succeed. EVERYTHING. Even emotional damage...
Invented time travel to become the earliest bird!
@Repent-and-believe-in-Jesus1 Yes, Stephen's Dad has much to answer for, inflicting maximum emotional damage is the work of 😈
My daughter bought me a coffee mug that had "Emotional Damage" printed on it with Steven pic.. I just about died. Best MEME ever!
“Those who play Xbo-“ while bro held a ps5 controller😂
LOL, nice catch. I did'nt even notice that.
Steven's dad's disappointment was so great, it rippled back through time to warn his ancestors.
Random observation: Steven looks good in that black robe thing!
I was expecting white long hair and beard like Pai Mei, but this was brilliant. 10/10 IGN
He does look good in it
More traditional outfit ❤
You know what they say lah, watching Steven He makes you get straight A+’s
…but you will still be a failyah
@@halpee7690 yes
@halpee7690 unless your name is Timmy or your a doctor 😂
@@hectorneros7171 Timmy good boy
I got a A- 😂
"also,, why are we speaking English??" got me rolling😆🤣🤣
'Those who eat with fork instead of chopstick will never get fortune cookie'
...
Love how the dad always dodges every logical fallacy.
"Drinking cold water makes you ugly."
"Why?"
"Because I said so."
Talking to your Asian parent in a nutshell
“Because I said so” is more legitimate than any scientific study
Thats just every parent
@@StevenHe Me as fellow Chinese American around your age, "my friend's daughter is working 3 jobs when she was 14 and was making 6 digits" Me: ???? unless she is making onlyfans that math doesn't check out and onlyfans didnt exist back then.
Because I said so - ultimate argument in parenting passed down for 28900 generations.
"those who don't eat their broccoli.. will always be 5'2"
words of the wise
never ate broccoli.... 5'11..... but not asian 🤣
In a way that one is kind of true, people have gotten taller in the last few centuries and it's likely due to getting more and better food while growing up, and broccoli is one of the most nutritious vegetables.
Can confirm, ate lots of broccoli and 5’5” with good posture and no back pain
@LunarBreezesame 😤
I wonder how tall uncle roger is, since he hates vegetable 😂
As a 2000 year old asian person I can confirm that we did in fact say that those who play Call of Duty: Modern Warfare ll will never get a girlfriend.
"Those who drink cold water become ugly"
Me 2 seconds earlier: * sipping my *cold* water *
Me 2 seconds after: * chokes because of laughter*
Me too and actually realizing I'm ugly
Love the fact that some of the quotes have been so memed on they get used irl.
"EMOTIONAL DAMAGE"
"When I was your age, I used to go uphill BOTH WAYS"
"My other leg was starting a business"
My dad used the uphill both ways one before Steven was born. Hell, I think that joke is older than my grandpa!
Steven making jokes about his own appearance is the most random thing ever 😂
I still don’t have a jawline
@@StevenHe your sense of humour far outweighs the need for a jawline 💯💯
@@StevenHe ah gosh 😅
@@StevenHe Ask that dude from House of the Dragon, Matt Smith, he has enough jaw to give some to you xD
If you love yourself, It's always good to make fun of yourself, so others can't make fun of you.
I find it awesome that "Steven He" is such a talented actor, as well as playing all of the characters in his stories. I mean, for example, in "How Asians Pack School Lunch 2," the two non Asian students are never seen on the screen together. But while they are laughing their short term delight, I feel like I can see both students at the same time. That is how good of an actor he is. The channel employs high quality cinematography, and if there is anything to wish for in the productions, he incorporates it into the story. Plus, I think his Asian background give him some insight to parody, and his Irish background gives him an amazing sense of humor. If Steven He sees this, keep up the good work!
Ancient Chinese Wisdom: "He who stands on toilet is high on pot." 😁🧘
I like how Steven purposely made his jawline look bad to not make his viewers jealous.
What a legend
Strangest fact: I have a jawline on the right side of my face but not the left
😂 that was one of the funniest moments in the video.
@@StevenHe OmG, same here 😅!!
1:58 ‘why are we speaking english?’ The chinese ancestors were definitely wise knowing 2000 years in the future the ethnic chinese will be speaking english
Bro the "they will be know for saying emotional damage" made me laugh cause it's true😂
Steven may not be a clown, but he never fails to make us laugh.
You should say "Steven is not a clown, etc."
Makes it sound nicer. :)
I love learning about Chinese history with Steven He!
it's calling Chinese HE-story
because you don't know that........... You a failure
“Those who don’t eat there broccoli will always be 5,2” -sun tzu
HAHAHAHA I’m sure my mom told me that
When he said the word "Subscribe" at 0:41 , the Subscribe button flashed in my phone.
Why wouldn't I press it. I Subscribed with immediate effect 😂
One of my best friends at work is a Chinese emigrant and he talks exactly like the father in these skits! Love this’
If i'm ever having a bad day, Steven is there with a funny video to cheer me up. Keep it up man!
That means a lot to me man. I’ll keep trying my best
LOL Steven never fails to disappoint
except his dad, lah...
He is great!
@@skipperson4077Fr lol
LMFAO @@skipperson4077
@@skipperson4077 waaait Fictional Steven fails to disappoint his dad? I don't believe that for a minute >.>
Thanks for helping us heal emotionally with laughter.
1:01 that I’m actually doing
96% honors math 😂😂
I remember when Steven's dad said how "Drinking Cold water froze a man's height off" like they say, great video as always 😂
0:33 Damn it's no wonder I didn't grow. I always kept passing my broccoli to my sibling. Now they taller than me 😂. Thanks for the laughs Steven!
When I was under 10 my country was so poor and freshly un-Soviet'd, we didn't even have broccoli. I'm 5'2.
@@Killjoy_Meldamn im sorry 😞
@marim6087 seeing this makes me appreciate broccoli more that's for sure.
timmy knew this before he was even born
Loved every single second of this skit. Great work❤
2:17 GUYS!!!! I JUST BOUGHT EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!
0:50 the chinese of 2000 years ago were right.
My mother in law just said yesterday that “if you leave your hair wet when you go to sleep, you will get pancreatic cancer”. She quote it from some TikTok video.
0:51 bro. Did that even exist during I don’t know. THE MING DYNASTY?!?!?!?!
1:18 THE REVEAL THOOOOOO 🤯
Ong
Faxxxx
How are u this early??
Bro was here before the video released 💀
Huh?
1:52 Dang it, he called me out
I like how the first ones made sense
Also Why we Speaking english , killed me XD you are amazing Steven
2:05 I know you for being a person who always do their best to make people happy and able to laugh, thank you very much for your work
Such incredibly great work.
1:04 jokes on you, I actually did that
Actually cold water burns a few calories when compared to room temperature water
I didn't know you could put emotional damage in a jar. Thank you for that.
"Those who don't eat their vegetables will always be 5'2"."
Me, who ate my vegetables but is still 5'2": "WHAT ABOUT ME, STEVEN'S DAD?! WHAT ABOUT ME?!?!"
😂😂😂
HAHAHA
You probably drank cold water 😂
You ate them too slow and didn't prepare them properly.
You also picked the wrong type.
You would have been 4ft if you hadn't have eaten any.
1:41 my parents actually don’t want me to drink cold water or I “become short”
Balance it out with milk. You know what they say, “Drinking milk is strong for your bones… especially on hot Fridays.” :) 👍
My kids shout EMOTIONAL DAMAGE at each other and us (the parents). It's like a thing now at home.
I’m so glad I’m Irish. They had a totally different list of sayings, mostly spoken in rhyme, and they always end up in the pub.
Hey Steven I am graduating from university tomorrow with a Bachelor’s in Mathematics and Economics. Thank you for helping me go through my 4 and a half years of college with your videos!
Congrats!
huge congrats.
Congratulations
_insert virtual applauding noises_
@@theworldisastage1984where did that come from?
@@EriSenshur bit of a running joke on thos channel, stevens dad always talking about how his cousin timmy is fluent in 6 languages and is a neurosurgeon etc at 9
1:24 Ok where did you get these outfits? They’re awesome!
yeah I can relate to this. When an asian parents / uncles / aunties starts saying "they say..", you know they gonna made something up that doesn't make sense, and you're gonna still comply with that.
those who drink cold water become ugly is like the best line ever 😆😆😆😆😆😆
Steven may not be pregnant, but he doesn't fail to deliver. Also, this video was hilarious lol 😂😂
💀
🤦♂🤦♂🤦♂🤦♂🤦♂🤦♂🤦♂
cousin Timmy in China is a guy and was still able to be pregnant. And he gave a birth to a child just after three months. He was just pregnant faster.
@@R3stor bro what 💀 ☠️ 💀
@@Undercover_Smilehe's parodying Steven's other videos
0:32 As someone who doesn't eat broccoli, I can confirm that I am still 5'2"
"without a jawline"... got me
“Those who get less then 274% leh, will never get girlfriend.”
As a not Asian but an American and someone 5’5 that hasn’t eaten broccoli, Steven knows just what to say to make me question myself and make me realize I’m a complete failure despite my accomplishments
Same here. I'm not Asian, but I'm also an American who is 5'6 and I rarely ever eat broccoli. I'm pretty sure Steve's dad and his ancestors would see me as a failure. And I'm pretty sure my own ancestors would burn me at the stake for being a witch or something.
Failures together strong❤
@@StevenHe i was the top debater among 2500 people but im 14 and 4’8 who hardly eats vegetables may I join❤
@@thenovicenovelist Not Asian, 6' lots of carrots and tomatoes!
The early birds get the worms to eat, but the early worms get eaten by the birds 😂
"Also, why we speaking English?"
Dead
The early bird gets the worm, but the late cat gets a bird and a worm.
Steven never fails to make me laugh.
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE will never die
"Also why are we talking english?"
That killed me😂😂
What Steven meant to say is, “Those who play Call of Duty: Modern Warfare series 21st Century and think it is better than the first, have no taste in video games.” I was born after the old COD but with how MWIII was developed I highly have a disagreement with Activison and separate dev/publisher relationships.
If I wanna get emotional damage I'll go to a family reunion.
Nice😂
Same here! 😆
No need to wait that long, CNY is around the corner😃
Special thanks for the subtitles and the amazing Chinese traditional or not costume. We deserve it after all this years
« Why are we speaking English?! » 😂
I know it’s a good day when Steven uploads🥰
Good day when you’re back on the channel Jordan
Im not asian, but I do the made up "you know what they say" multiple times every day. Its pretty great and I will not be stopped.
Keep it up 👏👏👏👏😂
1:58 "Also, why we speaking English?" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Its the way my dad came up to me the other day and was like "lol you don't know that meme? 'Emotional Damage!'??" *shows me the clip*
Me: "Yes dad. I watch his videos" LMAO
"Those who drink cold water become ugly"
That caught me so off guard I spat out the water in my mouth lol😂😂😂
Edit. Yes, it was cold 😅
Hopefully it’s not cold water😂
As a 5'2" person, i confirm the broccoli saying.
Haha
like how Steven changes clothes every skit but stevens dad always wheres the same thing lol
For 10 years of my life, i thought a doshwasher didn't clean the dishes
Yall underestimating that quick half drowned out "why are we speaking English??" THAT made me spit out my drink
1:47 "They *did* not say that" They *will* not say that...? Also, didn't Steven's Dad invent calculus...? so how do the Chinese use math that uses calculus in it......... oh right, Physics wasn't invented yet and Asian Dad warped dimensions to get to school. Checks out, no plot holes!
You know what they say:
“The early bird get the girlfriend”
The lip smacks during the sayings lol 😂😂😂
1:54 Whatever I dig this look because I drink a lot of cold water too haha
Loved this ancient times stuff. Please do it more!
As a person who drinks cold water for as long as i can remember I can confirm this actually happenes😢
“ failure=COD : Modern warfare II player "makes me laugh 😂
The one thing I'll always never live down is my dad saying, : You're Great Grandfather earned money and passed it down your Grandfather, he then passed it down to my dad and then he told me " you think I'm dumb enough to pass it to you."
😂😂😂
1:00 - Litterally my father and now me...except 95 TwT (90 is for my social/science :>(
what mostly made me smile was the "plz" at the end
That person talking about Call of Duty in 500 BC
That shows how famous Call Of Duty game is🤣🤣🔥🔥🔥
1:55 killed me😂😂😂I'm crying, I can't breathe 😂😂😂😂this video made my night 😂😂😂
0:04 LOL IM CRYIN’😂😂😂😂😂😂
"Early bird gets the worm."
*Childhood memories activated*
Dang, ancient china fortune telling was on POINT
Hopefully that costume wasn’t rental because we could finally see Steven’s num chuck skills in action with that attire. Got some Ip man vibes from it😅
Noooope. I finally went back and found a seamstress who made it for me. 😂
what da Haayl you mean IP Man
his name is Steven HE
therefore he is HE-MAN
Failure of the Universe
and his Girlfreind SHE- LAH Princes of Failure
This video explained my parents in 2:23 minutes.
"Those who play the call of duty modern warfare 2 do not get girlfriends" has been said since 2009 when it first dropped.
Eat your chicken feet, you’ll run fast like sonic.
Pov: When every single asian parent is like that.