The Secret for Raising Sons - Lisa Bevere
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- Опубліковано 7 чер 2023
- Watch the full lesson: • Escaping the Perfectio...
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Good lesson. "Enjoy them. Don't just survive them".
The hardest part of parenting is also the most impactful: modeling behavior. It forces you to be mature, to do the right thing, be disciplined, actually pray, disagree with respect, and I could go on… Spending time with your kids is absolutely important, but the behaviors you model during that time is what actually forms them.
Listening too, the "Because I told you" so is one of the reasons I resented obeying my parents soo much, kids are curious, you got to satisfy that curiosity and also make sure it makes sense
@@zephansamuel6188ES dude, I’ve always felt the same way when my father did that. He would always say that to me because he was modeling the opposite of what he was telling me to do and it made me think it was just no big deal since he was doing it and he couldn’t give a good reason like smoking for example. Then when I would get caught doing something he would force me to answer “why did you do this” when I’d get caught with weed or other dumb things I was doing, and I would always say I don’t know why I did it I just wanted to do it and he wouldn’t accept that answer and would FREAK out until I just made something up. (I was smoking and doing bad things very young to be fair I started marijuana at 10 yrs old after finding and smoking some of my fathers marijuana) but if he just told me calmly with love and compassion why it was bad, and actually loved me enough to model the behavior he wanted me to follow i would never have gotten as bad as I did, getting into heroin and running away from home 16 times from ages 11-16.
Yep. Agree. 😊
I’ve been asked the same, and I really think it’s bc my parents were open about their faith journey, saying things like, “I should’ve been nicer to that person”, the first person to apologize to me was my mom, and from that point on I knew as a child and now an adult, how to reflect and apologize. The lead by example.
That’s beautiful. That’s my hope. My parents hardly ever apologized. And I promised I wouldn’t do that. I would demonstrate Humility around my children.
You made me cry.
I love this so much!
Nothing more refreshing than vulnerability. 🙏
Oh this is SO good to hear. I apologize to my child frequently (because im moody more often than id like) and i do say i shouldve treated so-and-so better etc. Ive wondered if this is good for her to hear, even though all thr gentle parenting books say it is. Thanks for commenting this.
Play together, eat together, pray together😊
My parents force us to have movie nights even when we were teens and to go places with them, so we wouldn’t be out with friends in the streets. Thank God for them🙏🏽❤️ i am doing the same thing With my little ones.
My peoples never hung out I use to joke around & say we barely know each other & that I raised myself .. we honestly don’t speak. I use to hate not being able to chat with my mom or siblings or sit together at dinner table like normal families . …. Yes It did take a toll on my mental health & causes lots of emotional abuse & terrible terrible lack of boundaries . I had a very distorted view of life . But! Good news God did take me on a journey of healing ❤️🩹 & I’m still learning all I know is I’ll be the best mom one day to all children & ppl I’ll be a good human being I will love & show compassion , I will be understanding, & easy to talk to that is my prayer .
My parents, too. Treasured memories. Friday night was family night - that's when we played cards, learn to dance, pulled taffy, etc.
My family never played cards or board games and I always wished we did. Healthy competition, banter etc. is so important.
It’s not like I’m not close with my family, but I feel like we could have made a lot of memories if we did do those things.
Totally Agree with you, this new parents have to ask their kids if they feel comfortable doing things and also they don’t have boundaries .
Perfect!! THAT around the table has produced so many AWESOME adults who shared that as kids!! Meal time and game time made great memories in my family. KUDOS to you!!!
Showing love..whether fun or discipline
If someone asked me what one of my favorite and cherished memories of my family would be. It was when we all gathered around the table to enjoy a meal together or played games. Most of my family passed away before their time.
Hold on to your loved ones, spend time with them as much as possible. Tomorrow is Not promised.
Wish I heard this when my kids were young. Love it!!
Pretty much marry a good Kingdom gentleman
I love that! Are you saying that’s the key to raising godly kids?
Not just surviving your kids , you're actually enjoying them . 😉💖😊
Enjoy🎉
I really needed this right now to know that I'm on track with raising mine.
Yep my family and I used to play board games together. As an adult I realized how they all engaged with me. I loved a specific game that was probably boring to them because we played it ALL the time and I’d “win.” We also ate dinner together at the table every night. Every morning we had forced devotion and singing before school. I hated it but am very grateful looking back. I am blessed to have my family.
👏👏👏 Bless you.... sooo real n godly❤
This is beautiful... thank you for sharing! ❤
I don't know that my parents ever had to force me to play cards with them. I always enjoyed spending time with them, and I still do. Back in May, I took my dad to see "The Wizard of Oz" in the theater, which is one of our favorite movies. He's in poor health (cancer), and honestly it might be the last date I get to go on with him. The last few months have been trying, and he just got out of the hospital yesterday. I thank God that I enjoy spending time with him and my mom. It'll make things easier when the inevitable happens.
Amen 🙏🏽! Love that you made an effort to spend time with your kids!
It’s really beautiful and encouraging actually to see how this beautiful family do love God and serve in His Kingdom with all their hearts ❤️
God bless each and every one of you and your family ❤
Yes.
Great wisdom nuggets .
We have a lot of scheduled power outages in my country. My 10yo has come to the point were he hates playing uno with us. He even started putting his cards face up, hoping the games end earlier. Unfortunately it doesn't work.
My husband also isn't uno's biggest fan, but he loves family time, so no excuses allowed.
Sitting around dinner table is the foundation of a strong, loving family IMO.
I really really like and appreciate this reminder ❤
we are called to disciple and shepherd our children. But by the grace of God they are saved. All glory to Him.
Awesome!
I love this!!
I force them to play cards and game, too😆🤣🤣
Some parents don’t know that’s it’s best to balance the two
These are so incredibly helpful! Especially as a mother of 2 sons! I learned so much so thankful 🙏🏻
Do not spank your kids though. It might worked for them. For me it didn't make me obidient. No... It made me loose respect for anyone I wasn't afraid of.
Teachers, other adults that wouldn't hit me had no way of controlling me.
I didn't learn how to correct my mistakes. I only learned how to hide them so I don't get hit.
I am obviously not saying that your kids should not face consequences. I am just saying that physical punishment is often counterproductive and results in your kid resenting you and not telling you about stuff they did.
Consequences of your actions in re life is that that you have to correct what you f-cked up. So teach them that. They poured something out? They have to clean it.
They broke something? If they can they have to fix it. If they can't you can explain how it is not good. You can take away privileges. Etc.
@@Hiho6172 i think it needs to be done right. Spanking can't be the way for every inappropriate behaviour to be addressed. I was hit as a child, some of it was done out of anger and rage, and it made me resentful, made me lie, fearful, anxious, distant , and in other ways other times when I was hit appropriately I knew I did make a mistake and it was my fault and I had to learn from it. I would say I also agree that it made me think everything else was just not a serious mistake if i wasn't getting spanked lol. But I did have a considerably good attitude towards mistakes and trying my best to learn from them. Though I could be quite stubborn at times... Definitely moved past the trauma and hurt, thankful for Jesus's healing.
@@Hiho6172 I do entirely agree that parenting with logical consequences is much more effective in bringing up securely attached children who can learn how to make better decisions next time though! Just wanted to say that spanking is not always bad, not always good, it is tricky and I personally would not and would refrain from doing so when I parent. Because it could teach children the wrong that idea that violence is the way to correct wrongs.
Sooooo true 🙌🏽♥️😊
We played games together, swimming together, and watched TV, and movies together.
We did very little together… sadly our parents were disturbed people who enjoyed hurting us. I grew up distrusting most everyone…and trusting the wrong people. Some people should never have been parents.
I love this ❤️🙏
Beautiful!
Great advice ❤
We always called a once a week family meeting. Anyone in the family could call the meeting from the youngest to the oldest. We all came and heard what that person had to say. It was a safe place for them to say whatever was on their minds. The result was they never felt the need to hide anything like their peers/ friends did. Of course God was/is always in the center of the family too so the kids grew up socially and emotionally whole. Finally we always took hikes together. To this day they are now grown and moved out, but they still call family meetings.❤
Love this! ❤️❤️
YES!
I was raised this way and we raised our children the exact same way. All of my siblings and myself love God and so do our children.
My family always played cards too!! We always had so much fun!
Thank you, Lisa (my newest Godmother). I’m taking that to the bank. We have a little boy and man, I’m soaking up your mama wisdom. I thank God for you. ❤❤❤
Absolutely
AMEN❤️🙏🏻
❤❤
Spend time with your children. That's the secret, rather than buying them things from the store. Even if it means, playing cards with them, helping them with their homework, or playing ball with them in the backyard.
Absolutely! My parents too. And now that I am a mom I do the same - cards, board games, pickleball… good times!!
Prayer for healing in body
That’s my heart’s desire
👏🏼❤❤❤❤❤
Yes very good advice. My sister and I are taking our kids tent camping this weekend. We've been before too, looking forward to the time spent together, the boys are getting older so quickly gotta get this quality time in while we can. God bless you all ❤️
Sounds a lot like my family. We always ate dinner at the table and that’s where some of our best discussions happened and still happen. Those dinners, card games, times together doing family activities are what are foundational to who I am and what I learned about the Bible. My siblings and I are very close as well as all of us with our parents. The older I get the more rare I feel that what we have is. It’s so sad really. OH-and chores. Chores were very formative too. Not many people can clean like my siblings and I can.
So we're doing it right?! 🥺🥺🥺🥺
I wish more parents would create that and force their children to do some things around the table. There is just too much -"check with the 15 year old!" "They can make up their mind what they want to do"--NO! Stop doing that and I promise you your kids will still love you!! The interaction will be very beneficial.
we call it "Forced Family Fun" :-)
HALLELUJAH🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Totally agreed: forced engagement 😂😂😂: we would either play cards or board games. Our both children love God
I love love love this. My boys are 6,4 and 3
Mine are 7, 4 and 18mo
I have amazing kids and yay for spanking not abuse but discipline ❤ in love. I didn’t play cats but we did have dinner together every night as a family. So far they love God and I pray it continues for the rest of their lives ❤
Reminds me of what Miss Kay says..."forced fun is fun."
nice
I lost a lot of my creativity
Change is hard
I am upset that I don’t know how to get something going with my kids( like we did when they were little)
I'll suggest you ask them what they'll enjoy doing with you
Thank you
My name is Erin
I need Gods mercy
@@robbyphillips5251
GOD LOVES YOU UNCONDITIONALLY!
❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰 Amen Beautiful 🤗😉🔥🙌☝️🌞
Force Family Fun! It's a good thing!
Saaaame here 😂
Jesus loves you!!!🤍🤍🤍
👏👏👏
I loooovve playing Monopoly with my sons and they are only 5 and 7 but they can play and know how to win!!
Okay so I need advice. I want so badly to be a mom one day, and I do not personally agree with the idea of spanking my kids. Like whatever if other people do it, but it's not how I wanna raise mine - I don't want to punish them by hurting them. But does anyone know any other good methods that are just as effective yet don't require me laying a harmful hand on my kid?
Haha i would never spank/hit my children (but absolutely hold them accountable and they learn from their actions) but this is so funny becauae i do make them play boardgames with me. Sleeping Queens and Carcassone are some favs!
Yes, But do they pick up their rooms 😂
Don't agree with spanking. At all
It traumatized me as a child. There's other ways to listen. Everything else.. great no problem, but can't say physical hurt is okay, period
Eh a lot of that's the individual kid. My parents were much more strict with my brother and he was an absolute hellion. I had literally zero restrictions ( because my parents were tired 🤣) and never did stuff like drinking or partying.
The one thing my brother and I have in common. We don't like being told what to do. Try to force us to do stuff we don't want to do and we'll go to the point of physical injury to get out of it.
Christina A Howe does not want for ed engagement with anyone
Why the God reference? loving God is not a prerequisite for being a good kid. Being a good kid / person is having a sense of right and wrong. What have you done for God’s children, around the world, who are suffering ?
Sounds like God, because he's getting ready to force his children to choose between Him, or their money, their doctors , their schools, and their dead churches. GET READY AND REPENT, REPENT, REPENT IN YESHUA'S MIGHTY NAME, AMEN 🙏 🙌
Dominoes and Monopoly
Sadly im seeing more parents enjoying spending time on social media even whilst walking their little one's to school rather than proper interaction....awful
Just push sons toward Jesus, theyll pick up from there
Forced Family Fun 😊
Playing cards😆 grooming gambling... just joking
NEVER ever hit your children. Talk to them. Treat them with respect and they will grow up whole.
Spanking done properly is NOT hitting
I don't think it's good advice... It literally can turn out the exact opposite way. Like I did.
Now I love my parents but they had to realise that hitting me wasn't a good way of discipline. My younger siblings got significantly less of that.
I was torturing animals, getting in trouble at school I was getting into fights and sh-t like that.
Good Christian family. I was spanked and forced to play well not cards but boardgames. I loved some of them. But I hated to play 21 and memory games. Well I didn't know it was a part of my therapy for ADHD.
Though enjoying and not surviving is good advice.
Statistics say your experience is the most common result from corporal punishment. I’m with you!
Your situation is different because you have a learning disability. This applies to a normal person not someone on the spectrum.
Parents must learn their kids personality and know how certain disciplines would work. Every child don't need spankings, and it should be the last resort. You have a learning disability. Spanking is not going to work on someone like you. I had spanked my cousin who had ADHD many years ago, and it did nothing. The best discipline for her would have been to take away the things she likes. Nevertheless, she's a stable and sensible adult now.
@@Smarty2able no it doesn't. My brother and I aren't neurodivergent and forcing us to do stuff would have just made us more defiant.
Yes I agree this advice is dumb
Wow no family worship? Playing cards? Interesting
Awesome!