When your child comes out | Reuben Kaye | TEDxCurrumbin

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  • Опубліковано 11 лис 2021
  • After appearances on ABC, Channel 4 and BBC’s You’re Fired, multi-award winning, Australian comedian, singer and self proclaimed part-time hood ornament Reuben Kaye is the danger man to watch. With an acid wit and casual sensationalism, Kaye is fast, on the edge and brutally funny. A dazzling phantasm of anachronistic showbiz - an explosion of sequins, lashes and teeth, a much needed, hysterically funny, swarovski studded revolt against the ever narrowing views of an increasingly conservative world. Reuben Kaye is what happens when you tell your children they can be anything.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

КОМЕНТАРІ • 134

  • @farscape1076
    @farscape1076 9 місяців тому +36

    I could listen to Reuben talk for hours. So much truth and heart.

  • @mattyd3079
    @mattyd3079 2 роки тому +115

    That 17 minutes went so fast. I was spellbound. I have to admit I didn't get half the jokes... one thing I will take away from this talk is that fathers matter. Beautiful sentiment and so true. A father's love and acceptance is needed. No need for explanation, no need for qualification. Thanks, Reuben, for sharing with us.

    • @raz6630
      @raz6630 Рік тому

      This is what happens when the moral fabric of society is neglected and replaced with pseudo-satanic diabolical narcissism and self-worship we have obvious paedophiles and the mentally unwell pandered to and encouraged to the demise of society and themselves.

    • @mattyd3079
      @mattyd3079 Рік тому

      @@raz6630 You sure you replied to the right comment? You have opinions and i respect them. And I don’t necessarily disagree with them either - in the right context. I do understand where you are coming from. In my comment I simply tried to see the positive in what was being said.

    • @EthanKristopherHartley
      @EthanKristopherHartley Рік тому +1

      ​@@mattyd3079 I can't see what Raz said, but maybe I can offer another couple of things to consider. "Matter" is a little imprecise for this sort of conversation. It could mean "have an impact" or "is important/vital" (which is the impression I get from your answer).
      "A Father's love and acceptance is needed". Is a beautiful sentiment. But in my experience queer folk who have the love and acceptance of blood family remain (sadly) in the minority.
      My advice to anyone when listening to a coming out story - especially when presented by a talented orator or storyteller - is to listen to the facts. The emotional side is usually one sided or speculation. But it's almost definitely been pruned and shaped to "fit" the story. Listen to the facts. Empathise with the emotion. And thank the person for sharing.
      But I don't think any queer person would be able to agree that any blood family member matters simply because they share a few chromosomes! 😁 LGBTQIA+ folk have had to fudge the Family definition a little, but it's given us hugely welcoming round of "chosen family" and each & everyone a family for Christmas. ❤️

  • @dtg5909
    @dtg5909 5 місяців тому +5

    Now there’s an orator. He’s just amazing. ❤

  • @Ninang363
    @Ninang363 2 роки тому +73

    My Dad did not understand or like that I was Trans. I came out at 19 (1982). Our relationship was never easy. He eventually paid for my SRS because he knew it was the right thing for me even if he could not understand it. Not bad for a WW II Vet who adopted a kid. Coming out stories are always so personal and amazing...and there are far more of them than we realize. Thank you for that.

    • @raz6630
      @raz6630 Рік тому

      This is what happens when the moral fabric of society is neglected and replaced with pseudo-satanic diabolical narcissism and self-worship we have obvious paedophiles and the mentally unwell pandered to and encouraged to the demise of society and themselves.

    • @Ninang363
      @Ninang363 Рік тому

      Actually, for me, this is what happened when I received love and understanding. I show up for work every day and save American lives. Do not lecture me about morals. I got my morals and my ethics in check. Maybe you should learn what compassion and empathy are. From your response though I suspect you are a MAGAt. Cruelty for MAGAts IS the point.

  • @fionasedgwick7424
    @fionasedgwick7424 2 роки тому +19

    What a fabulous speaker. Such a colourful storyteller who has a lot to say. I love you, Reuben!

  • @pcole1232
    @pcole1232 Рік тому +18

    Wonderful speaker,very articulate. Words of wisdom.

  • @cazzdesilva6280
    @cazzdesilva6280 5 місяців тому +2

    Oh wow. Listening to this man, I’m sobbing. I’m spellbound by his voice, truth, honestly, and humanity. Thank you Ruben. Stay strong and safe. Xx

  • @BrunoDermoumWeb
    @BrunoDermoumWeb Рік тому +12

    This is a beautiful explanation for coming out. Yes we all know where we were when we did it, who we were with, what the reaction was. Very powerful presentation !

  • @handsomeguy2993
    @handsomeguy2993 Рік тому +9

    You made me laugh, you made me cry but most of all you made me understand. I appreciate your very existence. Thank you and can’t wait till you tour the states.

  • @NKelso
    @NKelso 2 роки тому +33

    I love you Reuben - thank you for sharing your experiences and vision with the world! You’re wonderful! ❤️

  • @justincapp4
    @justincapp4 2 місяці тому +1

    What an utterly amazing speech, straight from the heart with flawless delivery, charm and intellect. Inspiring and enlightening, thank you so much for your beautiful insight and humanity. Bravo Reuben you are incredible.

  • @SarahColeman-mo2dw
    @SarahColeman-mo2dw Рік тому +4

    Oh it does. I remember that day forever

  • @billzero7274
    @billzero7274 6 місяців тому +2

    I am sorry for the sadness, pain and shame you felt! Happy to know you made it through all those years and are now a happy and proud member of our community ❤❤❤

  • @_brain_junkie
    @_brain_junkie 2 роки тому +24

    I adore this man. I think it’s a courageous thing to do, to share your deeply personal experiences to better inform others. Reuben is inspirational, and I know that you hear that word thrown around a lot these days, but I don’t use it very often. I’m waiting for a book next!

  • @valentincolon7600
    @valentincolon7600 5 місяців тому +1

    Wow 😊 Thank You for this. I’ve recently discovered you Reuben and I’m glad to be able to see and hear you on UA-cam. This was so on the money. I hope more people see and hear what you have to say. Many blessing to you.
    Thank You

  • @noelgonzalez9549
    @noelgonzalez9549 3 місяці тому +1

    Everyone needs to watch this.

  • @888bjxjs888
    @888bjxjs888 Рік тому +12

    Stunning. Thank you for such a powerful lesson. Glad you exist in the world, Reuben.

  • @daleogborn5520
    @daleogborn5520 Рік тому +6

    My coming out Story is I showed up in upstate NY with my lover at time we were doing very well financially.. I was 6 ft 180 former military policeman now I was working in hotels and restaurants and was a chef.. no one ever said a crossword to me we had a great time they accepted Steven what they said behind our backs I do not know & don't care ..that was in 99 .. Steven is gone now And so is my parents... The last 4 years of my mother's life was great our relationship was great we talked on the phone and said I love you after each call or mistakes were forgiven 🙏♥️

  • @that1monk
    @that1monk Рік тому +9

    Thank you for the riveting speech by an intelligent and resilient mind. ❤🏳‍🌈🙏🎉

  • @olivialewishussey
    @olivialewishussey 2 місяці тому +1

    You are amazing. Im a 42 year old woman and I want to be you when I grow up!!!!

  • @dawnkoplitz1825
    @dawnkoplitz1825 2 роки тому +91

    You’re such an eloquent speaker. Thank you for all the LGBTQ children you’ve helped by speaking your truth! 🤟🏻

    • @raz6630
      @raz6630 Рік тому

      This is what happens when the moral fabric of society is neglected and replaced with pseudo-satanic diabolical narcissism and self-worship we have obvious paedophiles and the mentally unwell pandered to and encouraged to the demise of society and themselves.

    • @SRTyler392
      @SRTyler392 3 дні тому

      Ah yes, talking about Italians being inside of you is such an inspiration to young children everywhere 🤦🏻‍♂️ you people are sick weirdos

  • @feekett8271
    @feekett8271 2 роки тому +9

    Hail to the king / queen
    I nearly started crying because you could feel the pain and you just want to make you stop hurting x
    Sending my love to everyone who ever had to experience anything like this.
    You are loved trust me !

  • @iamaloha2
    @iamaloha2 6 місяців тому +1

    What an outstanding motivation speaker. The very best.

  • @Charmien
    @Charmien 2 роки тому +13

    I became a fan a few years ago but I’ve never written that hey, I think you have a wonderful aura and it’s very obvious you were born to be an entertainer. Keep being you!

  • @HimanshuSharma-oy9ss
    @HimanshuSharma-oy9ss 6 місяців тому +1

    Beautiful, emotional and compelling.

  • @douglaslay3100
    @douglaslay3100 2 роки тому +5

    THIS PERSON IS BRILLIANT. I could write a novel, but I am beyond moved. Thank you Reuben Kaye

  • @die_vegane_hebamme
    @die_vegane_hebamme 5 місяців тому +1

    Thank you ❤️

  • @LukeShepperd
    @LukeShepperd 2 роки тому +20

    This is so incredibly powerful ❤️ thank you Reuben xx

  • @aoife3571
    @aoife3571 Рік тому +5

    Brilliant, brave, hilarious, and an extraordinary human being.Thank you Reuben.

  • @SonjaDawn
    @SonjaDawn 11 місяців тому

    Thank you. I'm glad I watched!

  • @Beautyinthechaos2004
    @Beautyinthechaos2004 8 місяців тому

    Thank you for sharing your story 💚💚

  • @warawath
    @warawath 2 роки тому +2

    thank you

  • @Ummm563
    @Ummm563 7 місяців тому

    And after all that, what a beautiful person. Thank you.

  • @nicholascollison3611
    @nicholascollison3611 2 місяці тому +1

    Brilliant ❤

  • @michaelchailland3616
    @michaelchailland3616 6 місяців тому

    BRAVO! Well said, well said.

  • @TenaciousDmitchell
    @TenaciousDmitchell 2 роки тому +15

    RK you rock! Love your perseverance and confidence.

  • @andrewaway
    @andrewaway 6 місяців тому

    Wow. Thank you. ❤

  • @NiahmBrowne
    @NiahmBrowne 7 місяців тому +1

    That was very moving x

  • @pasjasolarazumetipsaalenka8998
    @pasjasolarazumetipsaalenka8998 6 місяців тому +1

    🥰🥰🥰 captivating humorous and so so real

  • @onesunnyday5699
    @onesunnyday5699 2 роки тому +1

    I love him even more after this 🥰😍💖

  • @hannamuller515
    @hannamuller515 Рік тому +1

    Beautiful👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @BERTONI704
    @BERTONI704 4 місяці тому

    Thank you Reuben
    Muchas gracias
    Felicidades por tu historia
    Yo te amor
    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @Lunaryo
    @Lunaryo 2 роки тому +15

    My eyes won't stop leaking. Absolute legend nailed it!

  • @scattysafari7742
    @scattysafari7742 3 місяці тому

    Apparently he was a huge inspiration for Neil Newborn's interpretation of Astarion in Baldur's gate 3. I can see it.

  • @matildewosnjuk7508
    @matildewosnjuk7508 6 місяців тому +1

    Brave. Wish you luck in life.

  • @rlr126
    @rlr126 2 роки тому +7

    Thank you for sharing your message! Keep being amazing and wonderful YOU!

  • @Gina_from_VA
    @Gina_from_VA 2 місяці тому

    He is so meta!

  • @cookyline
    @cookyline 2 роки тому +6

    I love you Reuben ❤brilliant and brave!!!

  • @nicholasweatherill5766
    @nicholasweatherill5766 2 роки тому +3

    The best Ted X I’ve heard. Atleast for me. Amazing and thoughtful I don’t need anymore

  • @MrKirby365
    @MrKirby365 Рік тому +4

    I was definitely called a f***ot before I knew what it was and what I was

  • @ramickstudioproductions005
    @ramickstudioproductions005 Рік тому +2

    Crying crying real hard now

  • @MellaBella1980
    @MellaBella1980 2 роки тому +4

    I am 41 and still haven’t come out to my family and a lot of my friends!

    • @janettegloury3834
      @janettegloury3834 Рік тому +1

      And the idea that your friends & family very first reaction can be so powerful, whatever happens next must be terrible. But (easy for me I don't have to do it) think of the relief & strength you may feel when it's done. All good wishes to you

  • @violetgreene4458
    @violetgreene4458 2 роки тому +7

    he's a genuinely beautiful human.

  • @jodiblackman7838
    @jodiblackman7838 2 роки тому +4

    This is wonderful. Thank you.

  • @momp57
    @momp57 2 роки тому +5

    Every parent needs to hear this!

  • @Sechaba00
    @Sechaba00 Рік тому +1

    Wow ❤

  • @johnmccormick1061
    @johnmccormick1061 2 роки тому +3

    Excellent ❤️ beautifully said ⭐️🤩💙

  • @vonlipi
    @vonlipi Рік тому +3

    Reuben you are so very courageous. Love you to bits. I wish my Mom accepted my queerness

  • @thestagerocks
    @thestagerocks 2 роки тому +3

    If 1980's Berlin was a human with perfect bone structure...

  • @Host_Bogart
    @Host_Bogart 2 роки тому +2

    wow

  • @michaelrodriguez2773
    @michaelrodriguez2773 Рік тому +2

    Reuben should've been Desire in The Sandman

  • @pmurraymusic
    @pmurraymusic Рік тому +2

    HEAR HEAR!!!

  • @patjuskiw2418
    @patjuskiw2418 6 місяців тому

    I remember my father's hands too. 😢

  • @ShivrajParshad
    @ShivrajParshad 6 місяців тому

  • @penneycason9269
    @penneycason9269 2 роки тому +13

    My beloved came out to me about being trans. Well hello!?!! I responded by calling all support I could. 1994 surgery. I gained a sister. We have celebrated 36 Valentines together. Love love love ❤️

  • @lazylemymaitland6996
    @lazylemymaitland6996 Рік тому

    8:13 MATE, NO that feral man, god

  • @sheillaa.6964
    @sheillaa.6964 Рік тому

    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @SarahColeman-mo2dw
    @SarahColeman-mo2dw Рік тому +3

    Dang you’re looking good

  • @iestynovich
    @iestynovich 2 роки тому +5

    Divine

  • @njgrant3988
    @njgrant3988 Рік тому +2

    We need batman

  • @dontbeabutt7786
    @dontbeabutt7786 9 місяців тому +1

    I f-ing love you Reuben Kaye

  • @butterflygirl3359
    @butterflygirl3359 Рік тому +1

    It’s interesting how he acknowledges the horrors of Communism but criticizes “this” federal government, the USA’s last defense against it.

  • @nathanwright8616
    @nathanwright8616 7 місяців тому

    this is so funny

  • @arunamehta792
    @arunamehta792 Рік тому +1

    You are human and god loves you. I know these words can't bring peace to your soul but trust me god will bring peace to your life and soul❤

  • @4zul4_iwnl
    @4zul4_iwnl 8 днів тому +1

    he smort

  • @punksterpride8339
    @punksterpride8339 Рік тому

    What pronouns does Reuban go by? I googled it but couldn't find the info

  • @MoonlightNothing
    @MoonlightNothing 2 роки тому +1

    💔

  • @elisabethkanter
    @elisabethkanter 9 місяців тому +1

    This guy is a predator if you’ve seen his other work

  • @onesunnyday5699
    @onesunnyday5699 2 роки тому +1

    Tough room. Nobody laughs 😬🙄

  • @PatGeo95
    @PatGeo95 2 роки тому +5

    ❤️🏳️‍🌈🇦🇺

  • @paulsnow1289
    @paulsnow1289 5 місяців тому +3

    What a freak 🤣

  • @user-ju8ec1ru9h
    @user-ju8ec1ru9h 19 днів тому +1

    This is not God's doing.

  • @KlausSchwab-cy3ob
    @KlausSchwab-cy3ob Рік тому +1

    Reuben, stop saying you look like Cruella DeVille, you look like a groomed up version of the Joker

  • @mariya4539
    @mariya4539 Рік тому +1

    Joker

  • @I-AM-SKYTRISS
    @I-AM-SKYTRISS Рік тому +1

    PERHAPS SOMEDAY SOMEONE WILL IDENTIFY AZ G O D,,,, MAKE UP THEIR OWN DED AZ CREATOR OV HEAVEN AND EARTH,,, SHOW DED OV OWNERSHIP.. AND TAKE OVER THIS INSANE WORLD ! JUST A THOUGHT

  • @carlonedelko7381
    @carlonedelko7381 Рік тому +5

    Doesn't look.intimidating just looks tragically sad looking desperately for recognition.

  • @SB-iy9vn
    @SB-iy9vn 8 місяців тому +1

    if your child comes out you have failed as a parent

    • @InfernoPhoenix123
      @InfernoPhoenix123 3 місяці тому +1

      If ur child can't come out to you then you've failed as a parent

    • @SB-iy9vn
      @SB-iy9vn 3 місяці тому

      @@InfernoPhoenix123 nope it means you have one
      They will know and follow the truth

  • @patrickarky116
    @patrickarky116 Рік тому +7

    They give Ted talks to any weirdo, these days!!!!!!!!!!

  • @miroslav-mikhayeljuric-de3yp
    @miroslav-mikhayeljuric-de3yp Рік тому +3

    Nothing about him is respectable.

  • @HaTer-xs8sh
    @HaTer-xs8sh Рік тому +7

    Ew. What is that thing

    • @thegoddess1976
      @thegoddess1976 Рік тому +4

      You should post a picture of yourself .... so we can also judge

    • @HaTer-xs8sh
      @HaTer-xs8sh Рік тому +3

      @@thegoddess1976 at least I’m not a freak

  • @Iknowyeshuaisking
    @Iknowyeshuaisking Рік тому +1

    Jesus is lord, Jesus is the most wonderful being that is, Jesus is excellent, wonderful and beautiful. I love Jesus, Jesus loves us too.

  • @rolandmorrison8224
    @rolandmorrison8224 2 роки тому +2

    Did you know that Tedx hosted an event by a woman named Mirjam Heine that stated that the P word is an actual orientation? Did you also know that many of us know, firsthand, that most of the lauded and praised manifestations of modern-day "orientation" are the actual product of the P word? Is it right to say that the damage is done, it is what it is...the ship has sailed....and "I am what I am--deal with it"? Is it right to think that way when P was the original cause for so many of these situations? Maybe that's why a certain community that is partially epitomized in this video just so happens to be more accepting of P than everyone else, since, they were the victims of it....usually. People say Tedx is for the intelligent and scholarly. Is that really the case?

    • @marcz8625
      @marcz8625 2 роки тому +6

      You felt the need to comment? But edited your comment and still doesn’t really make sense. What do you really want to say? Just say it and be authentic. Oh and if you have nothing good to say, say nothing. Like your mum would have explained at some stage.

    • @stevenwren2784
      @stevenwren2784 2 роки тому +4

      I'm struggling to think what the P-word is

    • @_brain_junkie
      @_brain_junkie 2 роки тому

      @@stevenwren2784 me too 🧐 I’m struggling with all of it to be honest, but I’m not that bothered about having broken down.

    • @SB-xs8js
      @SB-xs8js Рік тому

      I thought the same

  • @dianemason9092
    @dianemason9092 Рік тому +1

    Your finished

  • @animalsome
    @animalsome 2 роки тому +7

    Cringe

    • @animalsome
      @animalsome Рік тому

      @@dazednelectro Thank you for pointing out the obvious

  • @matteomaserati2795
    @matteomaserati2795 Рік тому

    Thank you ❤

  • @knolcollis
    @knolcollis 2 роки тому +3