Honestly it’s really good how you showed self reflection. A lot of instructors mean well but don’t realise they are accidentally stressing learners with tone of voice etc. I know it’s stressful for them also I can imagine it’s a stressful job if running your own business, cost of fuel and staying safe on the road. I love how you inspire confidence in your students
My first driving instructor literally did this every time we approached a junction. My three lessons I was so excited for. I woke up in the mornings buzzing for my lessons but excitement eventually turned to dread and anxiety because all I was thinking about was my instructor getting upset and having a go. I’m in the process of changing now. Was definitely the right decision. I lost all my confidence with driving. He made me feel as though I couldn’t do it at all, and I know I can
@@zenabraithwaite1934 out of the 3 instructors I've had, 2 thirds have been really impatient and condescending, perhaps they're in the wrong profession? 🤷🏼♂️
My first instructor would raise his voice at me using an annoying tone, the last thing i need when trying to focus and learn. I just straight up told him i didn't like the way he was speaking to me and found a new one now who i can get along with :)
I stuck with an instructor from November to January filled with anxiety, even after 7 months of learning. I switched instructor and had 6 or 7 lessons with literally no anxiety and passed my test in May 🎉
So did you switch after taking a lot of lessons with your previous instructor and then made progress when yoy changed to the instructor you passed with?
@@Dayalive I was with my first instructor from May, it was November when the anxiety and feeling of him just wanting my money crept in. Stayed with him til January. After switching it was basically tidying up some reverse parking and stuff, most lessons were just me driving round and them asking me to do a random reverse park or bay parking
My last instructor made me so anxious I kept making mistakes, and he kept having a snarky attitude towards me. I had been driving for a few months then stopped for a year before driving with him. He kept saying, " You've driven before. You should know this." Not helpful what so ever, I think I've become anxious about driving now.
i'm a learner with about 10 hours and I was getting nervous watching this. it's too real. Experienced drivers forget just how much there is to learn for a new driver.
It took me about 20 hours for it to start to come together to my satisfaction. I am a mature learner in my 50's and after a couple of false starts have been lucky to find a great instructor. I have driven for 100% of the time in all my lessons and he has been great for my confidence. Hour 23 yesterday and first lesson I didn't stall 😊. In fact I had a really self satisfying lesson, two out of 3 manoeuvres first time, following the sat nav better. Yes and now I am struggling to keep within the speed limits, so I need to watch that now. Good luck with your lessons, you will do it 😊
That first example is so true. One of many little phrases my instructor used was "only go when you feel it's safe". It helped me with assessing when to pull out and when not because I knew he knew I wasn't trying to take risks or to hesitate, I was only trying to be legal and safe.
This is exactly how I feel, information overload all the time. I keep stalling at busy junctions, taking my foot off clutch too quick. I've learnt to keep car in straight line thanks to Richard's staying centered video!
Thank you for bringing this up. I've had 3 instructors - all male between the ages of 40-50. All three made the exact same mistakes you mentioned and there was too much negativity, patronising and too much talking. I think they had a few experiences with slow learners and so painted all their students with the same brush and the same instruction approach. It's hard to tell them to calm down because their ego gets in the way and that's never a good thing. Will be looking to switch to a calm instructor and hope that will work.
Spot on with this mate. Silver lining is that my test was a piece of cake after all the raised voices during my lessons! Thanks for your videos Richard, couldn't have passed without them🎉
My instructor fell asleep once when I was driving us back to my house...not sure if I should take that as a compliment to my driving skills that he trusted me or how boring of a convo I was 🤣
I had a long way home on some straight non busy roads and my instructor would also fall asleep lol I didn't really like talking while driving so I could focus on driving and one time there was a car coming from the opposite way so I had to move to the curb and he woke up and asked why are we next to the curb lol I definitely think it was a compliment, meaning they felt comfortable enough for us to take charge while driving :)
Just want to say thanks for all the videos that you have done, it defiantly helped me pass about a year ago and helps me keep me and my family keep fresh and safe. A skill I felt was not addressed in my lessons was judgement at traffic lights and when to comment. This was what failed my first test (and a lack of sleep). I remember you covering this but my feeling is confidence is a big part of the test. Not sure what can be covered on this. Again thanks so much for your videos.
Thank you for your generosity! It's fantastic to hear the videos helped you! I hope you're enjoying your licence. I apologise that my reply is late, I've only just noticed your comment.
I remember I had two instructors the second one was great, I remember trying to go round a mini roundabout the wrong way and all he did was take the wheel and then said calmly “what was going on there” with a little smile. Totally took the pressure off, he was a great instructor
Thanks for this video, I have a driving test coming soon. My instructor has already killed my enthusiasm and confidence to drive. He has already said I would fail. My only consolation is that he has once told me earlier that he does not doubt my ability to control the wheel. I would just go and enjoy my test and count it as part of my experience. Hope it comes out well.
you should just stick cam on that roundabout on busy times and just do 5 hour recording. if you take 1 hour lesson you probably don't spend much time in that pos and you don't have much time to learn, because you don't wanna hold up traffic too much.
My first two driving instructors that I had 25 years ago, were like this. Didn't really teach me the basics properly. Pushed me too fast to do too much. I'd sweat profusely during lessons, and be very anxious before. I failed my test 25 years ago and have restarted learning recently. I'm having my third lesson today. I've watched countless hours of driving tutorials now and am learning mostly from YT. I've told my current instructor that I refuse to do anything I'm not ready for, because he wanted to make me drive from one town to the next in lesson 3. Instead we're going to be doing bay parking which feels more appropriate. Unfortunately I think most learner drivers won't know what will be "too much for this lesson", and just think they SHOULD be capable when the instructor thinks so. My previous instructors took me on dual carriageways after a handful of lessons, which was waaaay too quick for me. There was no discussion about feeling ready, or understanding the road. I winged it every single time and as such, never felt in control or competent. Listen to your instinct. If you feel anxious, take your time, never be pressured into a driving situation you don't feel ready for. I'm glad I failed my test 25 years ago, I wasn't ready or safe at that time because my instructors had failed to prepare me and guide me properly. Thank you for sharing this approach, Richard. :)
Thanks for sharing this. I’m still pretty new as a driving instructor, so I’m always looking for ways to improve. Your video has given me some new techniques to try.
You are a wonderfully humble and introspective instructor and I could only dream that I was learning under you. Regardless your content has helped me so much, thank you. Just majorly impressed.
Thinking back to my lessons. My instructor always told me what yo do so the first time i was making decisions for my self was during my driving test - which I failed😅 I had to tell him not to tell me everyting and after 4 lessons I was able to pass. My advice is, if your instructor is doing that,tell them to let you make your decisions early on if possible.
my instructor actually slammed his hand on the dashboard cuz I wasn't paying attention which really made me scared and anxious cuz I got PTSD. I was happy when I passed my driving test and theory. I passed on first try on both even though I slacked on learning the theory, I literally read the theory book the evening before my theory test and passed. Also a lot of it back then was based on logic and safety. Besides a lot of near crashes in my driving career which is almost 8 years now I've been improving and slowly getting rid of the anxiety and panic attacks (they are horrible), which really influences how you drive sadly. These videos on this channel help massively even though they are left hand traffic. my country is right hand traffic. It helps to educate oneself and keep learning :)
My first instructor used to scream, shout and bellow whenever I did something wrong or didn’t act quick enough. He was a mate of my dads, an ex police instructor. Needless to say I didn’t get on with him, I was walking home from work one day and his car was smashed up in the middle of the road. I can only imagine that some poor pupil got his full wrath. My next instructor was brilliant, I passed with her and I remember to this day (some 35 years later) some of the advice and techniques she taught me.
My driving instructor is a nice fellow but has a knack of formulating his sentences in a way that sounds more accusative than he intends them to be. This has actually caused me to have an anxiety attack during a lesson. He pushes his students a lot to get out the best of them, but with me it has the opposite effect i suppose…
I’ve just finished a lessons today. When I went too slow he said go faster. Then when I slowed down he said go faster. This went on and on for a good 20 minutes on a 100km road with lots on bendy turns.
My driving instructor literaly told me "U know in the seventies they made an experiment on apes and indoctrinated them with electroshocks so they would behave in some way. I think i also have to indoctrinate you" lmao. Pretty rude guy and always on his phone but i passed on my first try and i only got desinterested in driving for some weeks so i dont complain much
This is basically my current instructor. If the lesson starts badly, it doesnt get better and when I make a mistake, his comments and reactions make it so much worse. Unsurprisngly, my best lesson was the one where I was doing better and he spoke less.
Omg same!!! The best driving I did was when he didn't speak at all, unless he was giving me instructions. He wasn't shouting or criticising me, which I found odd, but lowkey I was happy cause I felt more at ease😅
I am having the same experience. My exam is in the first week of September and my instructor is always shouting and yelling at me when i feel its not safe to enter roundabout or junction. Being in the car with him makes me uncomfortable and tensed when i drive.
omg, my instructor is worse than this. He is so critical and I feel judged by him all the time. He wrote back reports about me making mistakes and then the school would use that to ask me to buy more lessons. I am very very frustrated now.
Ive had a few different instructors years ago and definitely got that feeling with a couple of them, just absolute tw*ts if i say so 😂 the one instructor I passed with, his lessons didnt even feel like lessons and it got to the point where he was so confident with my driving hed just have the radio on and chillax and it was a real good vibe.
I had more thn 30 lessons, after tht whn i tried to drive my husband’s car( which was different from my instructor’s), I couldn’t figure out whether i m on the right on the road or not. Couldn’t move straight front and back. That made me loose my confidence and stopped my lesson. Thn again i gathered my courage for lesson after 4/5 month and find another instructor ( after reading good reviews), after 3 lessons 4.5 hrs, he cancelled rest of my lessons, msging you are not good for manual, i cannot teach you, you can go for automatic, which made me loose all rest of my confidence to drive. I might be a pathetic learner but does the instructor has the right to destroy learner’s confidence?
This was how my first instructor was. I went from really anticipating lessons and being excited to it being more of a burden, and me deliberately delaying lessons due to my anxiety. It was so cold in the car with him and it wasnt a lesson but 1 hour of just waiting for it to end. Luckily I changed instructors and I passed!
Makes me feel very fortunate to have had a good instructor that didn't put me under pressure and was good to chat to in the simple bits and comfortable to. Just kept the driving enjoyable and not some big deal to contend with, which definitely helped me maintain confidence in my driving. It did make it quite a change when he stopped talking when we did mock tests though! 😂
I had worse. Basically he didn't teach me at all, just played a simulator in the school and when we got to real car - "just do what you did on the sim, I won't be interfering". First time we went on to public road, any questions I had - "do you expect me to sit here every time you drive and tell you what to do? You're the driver, so drive." By the end of each session I was sweating buckets and had steering wheel pattern on my palms...
My instructor before my current one wasn't great- he was ageist ( I'm in my 50's) and he wouldn't let me drive. With my instructor now I have driven 100% of the time from day one.
Mine swore, shouted and balled at me. Told me I was a danger and didn’t deserve to have a license. Now my test is next week and I’m doing it in my own car. Been round the area it’s in, done loads of manoeuvres, been driving for around 3 years. If the instructor isn’t nice then the experience won’t be
My first driving instructor was awful. He made me feel like an utter idiot and treated me like I should have just magically known everything. He was terrible teacher. Thankfully he seemed to realise how rubbish he was and quit and my second driving instructor was amazing. He was calm, built up my confidence and, most importantly, taught me what to do; he didn't expect me to know what to do. He let me do things in my own time. Thanks to him, I passed first time!
Same, my first instructor actually did well getting me comfortable on the road because I was very nervous, but he suddenly got all shouty and weird. Switching was best for me
I know this is a serious video but you should definitely make a skit series of the "Over-demanding Instructor" or something. Those segments are not only relatable, but they're also quite comedic 😂. And the fact that you were willing to act as an anxious driver in front of some heavy traffic situations, just to teach us, is really commendable 😅. Keep up the awesome, educational work!
your pupils are lucky to have you-- really appreciate you posting these gems for those of us who aren't presented with that opportunity, game changer ❤
GOD you have hit the nail on the head with the learner psychology! I feel so much less alone knowing other people have the same anxieties. Everybody keeps telling me to switch to automatic. When I tell people I am learning manual the response I normally get is: "why are you doing this to yourself?" And I would be lying if I said that I didn't think that almost every lesson 😅 but I'm determined to do it and your channel is really helping!
I’m here to say you are a star. I have never seen a. Instructor dissecting a learner’s psychology brilliantly. You deserve more subscribers. Keep it up.
I had this instructor after my original instructor left the country, in a few short weeks they damaged my confidence and made driving feel stressful instead of exciting and liberating. However, after ditching them, buying my own car and most importantly, finding your videos I passed first time this week - I can’t thank you enough or stress how brilliant and helpful your videos are. I’ll continue to watch to continually improve as a driver and to also support your channel - you’re fantastic!! 👏🏼
My instructor was so chilled it was great, he had a good way of pointing out errors without making me feel bad. I said how nervous I was and he really built up my confidence slowly. We only had one drive where he got me to try a road onto a busy ring road and I just couldn’t see a gap and was in a state so he helped me. Just before I passed he got me to do that junction again and I was ok with it.
@@ConquerDriving what's silly (not sure if it's still the case) before I drove a car I drove a scooter I passed my CBT on a 50cc Twist and go scooter and was allowed to ride my 125cc 4 speed manual Vespa on the road without any training. That was pretty scary learning clutch control on a motorbike with nobody to teach me xD. I nearly flipped the bike the first time I tried to set off on it xD
The scooter I had was a 12hp Vespa T5 and it could just about push 70mph on dual carriageways. It used to keep up with the 200cc lambrettas with no problems. I did quickly learn how to ride a manual motorbike but the initial learning period was terrifying. I'd really like to get a full bike license and get rid of my car but commuting 50 miles a day in all weathers wouldn't be fun, plus you're extremely vulnerable on a bike.
I really regret staying with an instructor that made me feel so bad. She had a habit of telling me to pull over and saying something like three roads back you made a mistake, what was it? I wouldn't remember by then and she would get snappy. She made me cry also. She convinced me I would never pass as my anxiety amd nerves were getting worse. When I changed instructor finally he praised when I did well and gently corrected issues. My confidence increased massively and I wished I moved long before.
My last driving instructor was bloody awful - whenever I would tell him that I wasn't feeling confident about standstill starts etc and that I wanted to practice, he'd always go "Why are you taking lessons from me then, just go do it on your own and don't waste my time" - he would also never explain WHY i need to do anything, I was his robot just doing commands he issued and nothing more. I wasted so much money and time and got nothing out of it. I'm an international student and I live alone so I don't even have the luxury of having friends or family to lend me their car to practice with. not sure if I ever want to start learning how to drive again.
Don’t give up driving, you’ve got this, believe you’re a champion because you are, so don’t give up just because of what some fool said, that doesn’t define you, it’s your drive (no pun intended) that determines your success and rest be assured you will pass because I believe you have the will to do so. 💪🏾I advise talking to friends about instructors they’ve had, and switching to them and see how it goes. Best wishes to you.
Richard your perspective is truly refreshing when there is so much impatience and ill-will in the world towards people for trying to learn anything. Learning is a very delicate process where people start absolutely vulnerable with practically negative and nonexistent self-confidence, and need to be encouraged and built up at their pace to greater heights. Teaching the how, when, and why, and allowing them to practice, understand, and explore it for themselves--with as much protection from unnecessary pressure as possible--brings confidence, and many people who are responsible for teaching in many fields are too lazy to do that. They just get mad at you for not already being at their level, never thinking about how to encourage good decision-making and problem-solving for your continued success in their absence.
I only ever had a couple hours of lessons because I thought my instructor was a prick. He started shouting at me for taking a wrong turn and grabbed the wheel as I was going round a roundabout. He told me I hesitated even though I didn't. Told me my parking was shit when I was within the lines. It hit the point that mid lesson I just said I have had eough and drove myself home. I passed my test a few weeks later with one minor which was for speeding up to quickly when I went from a 20mph zone to a 30mph zone. It was so relaxing driving with family compared to the instructor.
lol this video unlocked some unpleasant memories I thought I'd forgotten, my first instructor was extremely impatient you could see his face turn a deep shade of red in frustration. Short tempered. Every single lesson. Sent my anxiety through the roof. I soon stopped lessons after that. Wish my instructor was Richard Xx
This!! My first instructor was AWFUL. Kept shouting, texting while I was driving, having me run errands for him instead of taking me on the test route, shouting, telling me “that was crap”, etc. I just got more and more anxious every lesson and started having panic attacks. Didn’t have another lesson for 2 years as I was so anxious. Then I met a taxi driver who told me it was my instructor that was the problem, not me. So I got a new instructor who was AMAZING. Positive, calm and encouraging. Built my confidence massively. I did 10 x 2hr lessons with her and passed my test a few weeks ago!! 🎉 passed first time with only 3 minors :))
I had the *somewhat* opposite experience, when I had my first ever lesson, my instructor at the end of the lesson let me drive home, he was 100% convinced I had driven before (I hadn't, I just have a good understanding of how cars work and general driving code, just no experience) and he basically skipped through a bunch of things to teach me more advanced driving. I knew in my head that I wasn't a good driver because of 0 experience. He soon started to realise that I was taking corners too wide, getting way too close to the kerb and parked cars, couldn't reverse, park, anything, and he got seriously pissed off at me because of it. I still to this day haven't passed my test (or had any more lessons) and that was 6 years ago, instead I did my motorcycle CBT then test and have been riding bikes ever since. My motorcycle instructor was spot on and I had never even riden a bike before, after a couple of hours of teaching we went out on the road, he pointed out my mistakes and we worked on them, and I got my CBT. When I started riding, I was completely confident and competent rider because of him, then went on to pass my test first time, 0 lessons. It made me realise that I had total road sense, just no ability to operate a car safely. It was a shame really because I think I would've learned pretty quick with proper instruction, he just totally killed my desire to drive a car. Maybe I'll book some lessons again soon.
I had an awful instructor for my first lesson, who was stern, grumpy, and acted annoyed with me while she didn't really teach me anything; she just scolded me for doing wrong as if i was a fully fledged driver taking lessons just for fun or something while it was my first day on a road--ever. I had never dealt with maneuvering the vehicle at stop signs, traffic lights, and road markings, or anything for that matter. My prior experience was 3-4 hours driving in loops around a vacant parking lot at the mall. She gave me so much anxiety just complaining about what i was doing, while i was already incredibly vulnerable and self-conscious as I'M LEARNING SOMETHING NEW AND TRYING MY BEST. Ultimately i'm guessing she seemed to think i did reasonably well after like 5-10 minutes and pushed me way out of my comfort zone and had me do easily dangerous and reckless things unsuited for my non-existent skill level in which a couple of mishaps occurred. I made it home anxious, upset, emotionally shaken, but safely--and dreaded my next lesson a week from then. But as a stroke of luck, she was not available for the next lesson and I got a substitute who was much nicer and took things at a beginner's pace. I immediately changed all my future lessons to that substitute instructor and had a much better time taking the rest of my ten 90-minute lessons. In the end, while the substitute instructor was much nicer, I felt her teaching progress was stalling out midway, and we focused on just passing the road test, not preparing for the world of various situations and markings I could encounter on the road. With only 20 hours behind the wheel, I ended up passing my road test on my first try in mid March of this year with one fault that was due to something the instructor told us right before the test that the DMV proctor didn't agree with. Me and the other student that took his test immediately after mine, got faulted for the same exact thing at the same place due to the teachings of our instructor. (the DMV proctor was awful by the way. miserable grumpy hag that just barked orders at us) I'm definitely not confident despite having my license now, because the road test was so focused on doing such a small handful of things right, that I know i haven't encountered like 95% of road situations yet, and to be honest--it gives me a lot of anxiety. I try to drive at least once weekly now if I can bring myself to, so I don't forget and regress. I still have a long way to go.
@@shoyrushoyru Anxiety will be common for next few months. Try to drive once a week at least, half/one hour, no matter what. Anxiety and fear will go away with time and experience.
@@sylvianbard Yeah, I just gotta keep at it and keep trying my best. When I get the courage, sometimes I take the opportunity to drive to run some little household errands like going to the hardware store or pharmacy. Thanks!
I dreaded every lesson I had, sadly. My instructor was constantly haranguing me over every mistake, and by the last lesson before my test, he was completely ignoring me and barely said a word to me except to berate me. I passed the first time out of sheer luck and perhaps determination not to see him again. The sad effect of this is I have not gotten behind the wheel since as he really cast a huge doubt on my ability to drive.
Do your pass plus or similar with a different instructor. You passed your test and your last instructor must have had some confidence in you to let you use their car for your test. 😊
One thing with my driving instructor is that he isn’t consistent with his instructions- for example when I was first learning to switch lanes he always told me to never slow down, keep a consistent speed. Couple weeks later, I’m trying to make a lane change, but no space as cars are coming up fast, so he tells me that I should slow down and let the cars pass then tuck in behind them. Fine. Well couple lessons after, I’m making a lane change, same scenario , so I slowed down. He looks at me and tells me- you NEVER slow down when switching lanes. Had to let him know that I was just doing what he told me to.😂
His was probably a bad explanation. You don't slow down when the lanes are clear, but if there are other cars you can let off the throttle to let the other drivers go. Don't brake unless you absolutely need to
I''m having this problem with my instructor, her directions aren't always clear. Today she was going over pulling over on the right hand side and said you should come to a stop first Me: So always come to a stop? Her: Yes 10 minutes later on a clear road Her: Why are you coming to a stop? There's no traffic is there?
Had a tricky time learning to drive to begin with after lack of confidence with a previous instructor, but found a new one that I really got on with and it made the world of difference to everything about my driving - passed a couple days ago with 3 minors!
My first instructor was good until it got more difficult then every time i made a mistake he would just seem frustrated and say I’m dopey without explanation of how i could do better, this made me hate my lessons and i was basically watching the clock on the dashboard waiting for it to end
Back when I was learning, having my instructor grab the steering wheel was my least favourite thing... Perhaps it was made worse that he'd grab it if I misunderstood/misheard directions e.g. I was planning in my head to go straight on a roundabout but he wanted the second exit (where my lane could take either exit).
My driving instructor lost his patience quickly and got annoyed when I was hesitant about driving onto junctions and roundabouts. I had a traumatising lesson once when he completely lost it with me and said that I was behaving stupidly when I wasn't able to restart the car correctly when it stalled, when in fact he never let me do that on my own. He also screamed at a car that didn't move out of the way for me and even banged his window. The worst thing was when he told me "people generally need 10 more lessons at this stage, but with you I really don't know". It has almost been 2 years and I haven't gathered the courage to book another lesson, not even at a different driving school. I'm even considering switching to automatic.
The information overload one is exactly how my instructor is. I've had 2 lessons and I'm frazzled and overwhelmed and don't want to learn to drive any more. I wish I could find someone compassionate like you to teach me.
I’ve been watching your videos for some time. In many of your videos, I can clearly see that you are an exceptionally understanding and patient instructor, not only through the way you instruct and talk to your pupils, but also through your values and beliefs, for example, your emphasis on how important confidence is for learners and thus using a more encouraging tone of voice instead of sounding pushy and blamey. You have shown us your teaching philosophy. You are not merely teaching a skill, but giving high-quality EDUCATION. One more thing, please let me acknowledge your exceptional ability to put forward your ideas and give reasonings in a clear and logical way, as shown in many of your videos. It shows you have put time in thinking, structuring and organizing what to say, ensuring you are making yourself clear so that the audience can follow and understand. It is treating your job seriously and being professional at its finest. I have never posted such a lengthy comment but you deserve it. We can see the effort you have put. Thank you so much!
my first insuctor was hell, he was always being shouty and taking the wheel and after a few lessons i stopped. I got a new instructor and he doesnt talk much other than giving directions or just asking normal question, how are you?, how was your day, and i found that hes probably the best instructor for me
It was the same for me, only in the meantime, the instructor constantly put me down and called me stupid. What was the result? Even though I have a driver's license, I'm afraid to get in the car.
I had instructor that rushed me almost from beggining and what ended up happening is, I started doing dangerous manoeuvers(like pulling out at junctions without properly checking and slowing down) just so that I'm not "too slow" for his liking. At which point he started stressing himself because he didn't feel safe. I have to add that it was fairly busy city in Europe.
You are legit my 2nd instructor and I am learning in an automatic. After my 4th lesson i was in bits and never wanted to get into a car again. My area is FILLED with 2 way roads with parked cars on both sides and enough space for one car, and this is where my instructor took me every lesson, even though it was clear my anxiety was through the roof. I cam home, went to your channel and am now loving my lessons. My test is booked and I do wonder if my instructor wonders how I am learning how to change lanes, roundabouts properly, when he hasn't done much of it with me
My instructor makes me nervous by not letting me take my test. They made me cancel it six times and every time it builds it up and becomes scarier and scarier, and I get that their scores are affected if I fail but as someone with severe anxiety it’s making it a million times worse. I don’t know how to explain it to them anymore. I would genuinely rather fail than keep learning and never being allowed to take it. I’ve been learning for over two years
My instructor is abusing me for every mistake because I cross my arms turning the wheel even I do the turn properly Im always shouted at.We have been practicing left turn for more than 20 hours. I asked him to practice other manovers but he is insiting I haven't learnt turning left properly unless I pay him more he's not willing to practice parking.
I've only taken 10 hours of driving lessons when I have never driven before. After the overwhelming first 2 hours of the lesson, I spent a lot of time watching your videos and man, during the 2nd sesh it became really comfortable and I am no longer nervous. Like what you said, a skill can only be acquired. But only if the person is really willing to spend the right amount of time and effort to get it. Now I have over 5k km of driving in just 3 months. Thank you very much for your driving lesson videos. I not only learned how to drive, but also how to do it safely. More power to you!
I really want to learn to drive but I’m worried about a different instructor now weather they will be the same I have mental health and it just doesent help
My second instructor was like this. I stopped lessons for nearly a year before I started again this year with a lovely instructor and I finally booked my test. My dad is also like this, tbh. I used to get so stressed when he used to pressure me to go when I didn’t feel ready to go but now I just tell him to be quiet. The driver drives and the passenger gets to pick the music.
Funny. I think the second version of events was a lot more stressful. Constantly having my instructor question whether or not I should go or not gave me a lot of decision anxiety and made me feel like an idiot. If he had just told me to "go now" I would feel like he knows what he's doing and that it's on him if I don't make it. Edit: I should add that making decisions like that and judging whether or not something was going to work was very rough for me and took me a while to figure out
Ohh gosh tht was my instructor 😢😢😢😢. You should have gone, why dd you go. I thank God i passed on first attempt because I was definately going to look for another instructor if i had failed.I dreaded lessons😢
I got lucky with a very good instructor, he was very patient, made sure I knew when I'd done well, as well as when i made a mistake and we had great chat aswell when I was comfortable. I've recommended him to others aswell.
My first instructor was an asshole, made me feel uncomfortable and nervous all the time which lead to me making more mistakes and affect concentration, if I was out driving with my dad would make 0 mistakes, so I passed my theory and wanted to book my practical test instructor said no… so I dropped him then and there started with a new instructor who felt far more comfortable with and after the 3rd lessons with him he said yeah you are more then ready for your test so I booked one and passed, I’ve not seen my original instructor driving around on lessons for a long time now
My first instructor was this: faster, faster, slower, indicate, turn, more,less... Just an hour of being told what I was doing was wrong, but not why. Also would put his hand on mine on the gearstick 🤮
My instructor always shouted in the car, took me to the afternoon traffic without any experience with a car, hit my hand when I was upshifting late, even honked on hot women (from the passenger seat) when we waited for them to cross the street. Shot my moral for driving for a few years.
My instructor is a little bit like this. I feel he doesn't seem to pay much attention when on my lessons aswell, always on the phone, yawning throughout my lessons, and every single time he sees a pothole he quickly takes the wheel when i am driving to steer away which really puts me off, so not sure if i should change instructors or not.
My first ever driving lesson (2 hours) I assumed id be learning the basics in the passenger seat. Cockpit controls, finding bite point, using the gears and stop starting on a quiet road. Nope my instructor had me driving immediately on main roads around roundabouts then started yelling at me. *MY FIRST EVER DRIVING LESSON* haven't got a clue what I am doing. Completely terrified at this point. Awful experience. My instructor was an older man who clearly has own his methods of teaching which involves yelling and shouting which involves running before you can walk. Real shame.
Passed my Test First time! 🎉🎉 thank-you for generously sharing knowledge it really helped me! ❤️ My advise: watch test routes & mock tests manoeuvres videos Tips & advise shorts practise a lot! With instructior and family most of all, be confident on your skills for the test! 👌🏽✨
You are brilliant, I'm a learner with severe anxiety (and autism which affects how I understand instructions) and I had an instructer literally ask me what autism is. He was dead serious. Having instructions that you don't understand thrown at you faster than you can follow them doesn't teach someone how to drive. It teaches them that driving is stressful and that they don't want to do it. Learning a car is a step-by-step process. My first instructor was ace. On my first lesson he taught me what the clutch is and how it works with the engine, what happens to it when we press the clutch down partially, and he got to know me so he could explain things in a way i could understand, comparing it to things i was already familiar with. He let me go during covid and I had to switch to an automatic car because getting manual lessons was becoming very difficult. (Plus I've always been a believer in electric anyway) but he did it right. No shouting, it felt more like a discussion than a lesson. And that helped me massively. I didn't feel like I was an idiot and he was berating me. It felt closer to a friend teaching me something new. All instructors need to see this video in my opinion. Including all parents who teach their kids how to drive.
also autistic I feel you so much!! My instructor said he'd never taught anyone who didn't learn in a linear path (being good at something one week and staying good at it once you've learnt it, where as non linear like me is being good at something one week and struggling the following week) and that's not even specific to autism!!
My learner's permit instructor was *awful*. When I was getting my learner's permit a year or 2 ago, my instructor berated me, tried to manipulate me into thinking I was terrible, saying I was worse than any other student he'd worked with constantly, all while I was trying not to cry. Mind you, this was a middle-aged man to a 15 year old girl (who, at the time, had undiagnosed ADHD and had very low self-esteem). I had never driven on an actual road before, with actual people, it was a busy town, and I was completely stressed, overstimulated and overwhelmed, and he was making it all the worse. It took all my willpower to not just stop the car and get out. Worst 3 hours of my life, and never went back to complete the rest of those hours. When those three hours were finally over, he told me I was one of his worse students, and all I could do was thank him for his time (habit, I was really just thinking of how much I wanted to leave him parked in the middle of the road way too many times to count) and quickly went back to where my dad was waiting. I *hate* crying in front of others, but at that point, I was just so overstimulated and stressed that I broke down when my dad asked if I wanted to drive. Now as a 17 year old with my license, I still really wish I told that a-hole to f off- :')
My instructor forgot it was my 2nd lesson and got me to drive through a busy town at rush hour .. he thought I was someone completely different! He apologize when he worked out why I was struggling
This reminds me of my first lessons lol. My instructor was pretty harsh on me and I had a full on break down after one of my lessons. I have always needed some pressure on me to get stuff done however so once I got used to it I calmed down a lot and passed with him first time. When I got more confidence we'd often just chat while I was learning larger round abouts. Passed with him first time and have had my license over a year now
This was my first instructor and this put me off driving for 8 years! I feel so lucky that my second instructor was amazing and double lucky as he's become my absolute best mate and now he's just a part of my everyday life ❤
You have to at busy roundabouts or you'll be there all day. Most of the time, you can tell by their speed and position if they are leaving the roundabout.
My dad has made every single mistake in this video when teaching me to drive. The difference between this guy and him is that my dad 200% believes he is in the right and refuses to be told otherwise.
I first 3 intructors made me anxious. I went into my driving with the mentality of im not here to make friends so it doesnt matter if i like them or not. I was wrong. The worst teacher would comment on me not knowing what a junction was on my first lesson or any other lack of knowledge for that matter. Hed shout at me whenever i stalled. He would pull up to the side of the road and talk calmly and try and find out why i was so stressed. Yeah because of you!!! struggled to tell the difference between left and right due to the stress. Dont be afraid to switch or ditch instructors. Itll take a few different teachers. I eventually gave driving one last try and i had a female instructor and she not only taught me how to drive but also have confidence in myself and keep calm. Also it can help if you are recommended a driving instructor through friend or family. That way you're not diving into the deepend.
Honestly it’s really good how you showed self reflection. A lot of instructors mean well but don’t realise they are accidentally stressing learners with tone of voice etc. I know it’s stressful for them also I can imagine it’s a stressful job if running your own business, cost of fuel and staying safe on the road. I love how you inspire confidence in your students
Thank you, I'm sure I can still stress my pupils but I'm always trying to work on it.
My first driving instructor literally did this every time we approached a junction. My three lessons I was so excited for. I woke up in the mornings buzzing for my lessons but excitement eventually turned to dread and anxiety because all I was thinking about was my instructor getting upset and having a go. I’m in the process of changing now. Was definitely the right decision. I lost all my confidence with driving. He made me feel as though I couldn’t do it at all, and I know I can
Had a really similar experience, was told that the youngsters pick it up quicker. As a 35 year old man it really made me feel I'm past it
I sacked my last instructor. You need to follow your gut instinct. Good luck 😊
@@174trekmy last instructor was ageist to me ( actually said you can't teach an old dog new tricks 😮).
@@zenabraithwaite1934 out of the 3 instructors I've had, 2 thirds have been really impatient and condescending, perhaps they're in the wrong profession? 🤷🏼♂️
I’m sure you’re a natural now mate :)
My first instructor would raise his voice at me using an annoying tone, the last thing i need when trying to focus and learn. I just straight up told him i didn't like the way he was speaking to me and found a new one now who i can get along with :)
I stuck with an instructor from November to January filled with anxiety, even after 7 months of learning. I switched instructor and had 6 or 7 lessons with literally no anxiety and passed my test in May 🎉
So did you switch after taking a lot of lessons with your previous instructor and then made progress when yoy changed to the instructor you passed with?
@@Dayalive I was with my first instructor from May, it was November when the anxiety and feeling of him just wanting my money crept in. Stayed with him til January. After switching it was basically tidying up some reverse parking and stuff, most lessons were just me driving round and them asking me to do a random reverse park or bay parking
My last instructor made me so anxious I kept making mistakes, and he kept having a snarky attitude towards me. I had been driving for a few months then stopped for a year before driving with him. He kept saying, " You've driven before. You should know this."
Not helpful what so ever, I think I've become anxious about driving now.
i'm a learner with about 10 hours and I was getting nervous watching this. it's too real. Experienced drivers forget just how much there is to learn for a new driver.
It took me about 20 hours for it to start to come together to my satisfaction. I am a mature learner in my 50's and after a couple of false starts have been lucky to find a great instructor. I have driven for 100% of the time in all my lessons and he has been great for my confidence. Hour 23 yesterday and first lesson I didn't stall 😊. In fact I had a really self satisfying lesson, two out of 3 manoeuvres first time, following the sat nav better. Yes and now I am struggling to keep within the speed limits, so I need to watch that now. Good luck with your lessons, you will do it 😊
Information overload is so relatable, and that acting was hilarious btw 🤣
That first example is so true.
One of many little phrases my instructor used was "only go when you feel it's safe". It helped me with assessing when to pull out and when not because I knew he knew I wasn't trying to take risks or to hesitate, I was only trying to be legal and safe.
This is exactly how I feel, information overload all the time.
I keep stalling at busy junctions, taking my foot off clutch too quick. I've learnt to keep car in straight line thanks to Richard's staying centered video!
Thank you for bringing this up. I've had 3 instructors - all male between the ages of 40-50. All three made the exact same mistakes you mentioned and there was too much negativity, patronising and too much talking. I think they had a few experiences with slow learners and so painted all their students with the same brush and the same instruction approach. It's hard to tell them to calm down because their ego gets in the way and that's never a good thing. Will be looking to switch to a calm instructor and hope that will work.
Spot on with this mate. Silver lining is that my test was a piece of cake after all the raised voices during my lessons! Thanks for your videos Richard, couldn't have passed without them🎉
My instructor fell asleep once when I was driving us back to my house...not sure if I should take that as a compliment to my driving skills that he trusted me or how boring of a convo I was 🤣
That is a mood honestly 😂😂
😂😂😂😂 take it as a compliment
I had a long way home on some straight non busy roads and my instructor would also fall asleep lol I didn't really like talking while driving so I could focus on driving and one time there was a car coming from the opposite way so I had to move to the curb and he woke up and asked why are we next to the curb lol I definitely think it was a compliment, meaning they felt comfortable enough for us to take charge while driving :)
Just want to say thanks for all the videos that you have done, it defiantly helped me pass about a year ago and helps me keep me and my family keep fresh and safe. A skill I felt was not addressed in my lessons was judgement at traffic lights and when to comment. This was what failed my first test (and a lack of sleep). I remember you covering this but my feeling is confidence is a big part of the test. Not sure what can be covered on this. Again thanks so much for your videos.
Thank you for your generosity! It's fantastic to hear the videos helped you! I hope you're enjoying your licence. I apologise that my reply is late, I've only just noticed your comment.
I remember I had two instructors the second one was great, I remember trying to go round a mini roundabout the wrong way and all he did was take the wheel and then said calmly “what was going on there” with a little smile. Totally took the pressure off, he was a great instructor
Thanks for this video, I have a driving test coming soon. My instructor has already killed my enthusiasm and confidence to drive. He has already said I would fail. My only consolation is that he has once told me earlier that he does not doubt my ability to control the wheel. I would just go and enjoy my test and count it as part of my experience. Hope it comes out well.
I just love that roundabout cam 0.29 you should do more videos about that. my biggest problem finding gaps and join, also on right turns when its busy
you should just stick cam on that roundabout on busy times and just do 5 hour recording. if you take 1 hour lesson you probably don't spend much time in that pos and you don't have much time to learn, because you don't wanna hold up traffic too much.
My first two driving instructors that I had 25 years ago, were like this. Didn't really teach me the basics properly. Pushed me too fast to do too much. I'd sweat profusely during lessons, and be very anxious before. I failed my test 25 years ago and have restarted learning recently. I'm having my third lesson today. I've watched countless hours of driving tutorials now and am learning mostly from YT. I've told my current instructor that I refuse to do anything I'm not ready for, because he wanted to make me drive from one town to the next in lesson 3. Instead we're going to be doing bay parking which feels more appropriate.
Unfortunately I think most learner drivers won't know what will be "too much for this lesson", and just think they SHOULD be capable when the instructor thinks so. My previous instructors took me on dual carriageways after a handful of lessons, which was waaaay too quick for me. There was no discussion about feeling ready, or understanding the road. I winged it every single time and as such, never felt in control or competent.
Listen to your instinct. If you feel anxious, take your time, never be pressured into a driving situation you don't feel ready for. I'm glad I failed my test 25 years ago, I wasn't ready or safe at that time because my instructors had failed to prepare me and guide me properly.
Thank you for sharing this approach, Richard. :)
I was told to try and position the centre line on something on the car so that when you're driving, you can keep your position
Thanks for sharing this. I’m still pretty new as a driving instructor, so I’m always looking for ways to improve. Your video has given me some new techniques to try.
You are a wonderfully humble and introspective instructor and I could only dream that I was learning under you. Regardless your content has helped me so much, thank you. Just majorly impressed.
Richard, have you considered getting some collaborations on the channel? Would be great to see you do some special videos 😊
Thank you for your suggestion. I may do in the future.
Just passed on my 3rd attempt at different locations 2h from home (no local tests available). Thank you for all your videos, really helpful. BW
Thinking back to my lessons. My instructor always told me what yo do so the first time i was making decisions for my self was during my driving test - which I failed😅 I had to tell him not to tell me everyting and after 4 lessons I was able to pass.
My advice is, if your instructor is doing that,tell them to let you make your decisions early on if possible.
my instructor actually slammed his hand on the dashboard cuz I wasn't paying attention which really made me scared and anxious cuz I got PTSD. I was happy when I passed my driving test and theory. I passed on first try on both even though I slacked on learning the theory, I literally read the theory book the evening before my theory test and passed. Also a lot of it back then was based on logic and safety.
Besides a lot of near crashes in my driving career which is almost 8 years now I've been improving and slowly getting rid of the anxiety and panic attacks (they are horrible), which really influences how you drive sadly.
These videos on this channel help massively even though they are left hand traffic. my country is right hand traffic. It helps to educate oneself and keep learning :)
My first instructor used to scream, shout and bellow whenever I did something wrong or didn’t act quick enough. He was a mate of my dads, an ex police instructor. Needless to say I didn’t get on with him, I was walking home from work one day and his car was smashed up in the middle of the road. I can only imagine that some poor pupil got his full wrath. My next instructor was brilliant, I passed with her and I remember to this day (some 35 years later) some of the advice and techniques she taught me.
13:56 that's why i guess then as driving instructors you try and deliver client led lessons. So you're making the lesson fit the pupil.
My driving instructor is a nice fellow but has a knack of formulating his sentences in a way that sounds more accusative than he intends them to be. This has actually caused me to have an anxiety attack during a lesson. He pushes his students a lot to get out the best of them, but with me it has the opposite effect i suppose…
Great pedagogy tips!
I’ve just finished a lessons today. When I went too slow he said go faster. Then when I slowed down he said go faster. This went on and on for a good 20 minutes on a 100km road with lots on bendy turns.
My driving instructor literaly told me "U know in the seventies they made an experiment on apes and indoctrinated them with electroshocks so they would behave in some way. I think i also have to indoctrinate you" lmao.
Pretty rude guy and always on his phone but i passed on my first try and i only got desinterested in driving for some weeks so i dont complain much
This is basically my current instructor. If the lesson starts badly, it doesnt get better and when I make a mistake, his comments and reactions make it so much worse.
Unsurprisngly, my best lesson was the one where I was doing better and he spoke less.
Omg same!!! The best driving I did was when he didn't speak at all, unless he was giving me instructions. He wasn't shouting or criticising me, which I found odd, but lowkey I was happy cause I felt more at ease😅
This was my first and second instructor
It’s how my current instructor is 😢
Great video
I am having the same experience. My exam is in the first week of September and my instructor is always shouting and yelling at me when i feel its not safe to enter roundabout or junction. Being in the car with him makes me uncomfortable and tensed when i drive.
omg, my instructor is worse than this. He is so critical and I feel judged by him all the time. He wrote back reports about me making mistakes and then the school would use that to ask me to buy more lessons. I am very very frustrated now.
Ive had a few different instructors years ago and definitely got that feeling with a couple of them, just absolute tw*ts if i say so 😂 the one instructor I passed with, his lessons didnt even feel like lessons and it got to the point where he was so confident with my driving hed just have the radio on and chillax and it was a real good vibe.
Some people are not meant to teach, my instructor though soft spoken was not very good
I had more thn 30 lessons, after tht whn i tried to drive my husband’s car( which was different from my instructor’s), I couldn’t figure out whether i m on the right on the road or not. Couldn’t move straight front and back. That made me loose my confidence and stopped my lesson. Thn again i gathered my courage for lesson after 4/5 month and find another instructor ( after reading good reviews), after 3 lessons 4.5 hrs, he cancelled rest of my lessons, msging you are not good for manual, i cannot teach you, you can go for automatic, which made me loose all rest of my confidence to drive. I might be a pathetic learner but does the instructor has the right to destroy learner’s confidence?
I’m nervous
This was how my first instructor was. I went from really anticipating lessons and being excited to it being more of a burden, and me deliberately delaying lessons due to my anxiety. It was so cold in the car with him and it wasnt a lesson but 1 hour of just waiting for it to end. Luckily I changed instructors and I passed!
Makes me feel very fortunate to have had a good instructor that didn't put me under pressure and was good to chat to in the simple bits and comfortable to. Just kept the driving enjoyable and not some big deal to contend with, which definitely helped me maintain confidence in my driving. It did make it quite a change when he stopped talking when we did mock tests though! 😂
I had worse. Basically he didn't teach me at all, just played a simulator in the school and when we got to real car - "just do what you did on the sim, I won't be interfering". First time we went on to public road, any questions I had - "do you expect me to sit here every time you drive and tell you what to do? You're the driver, so drive." By the end of each session I was sweating buckets and had steering wheel pattern on my palms...
That’s quite unfortunate.
My instructor before my current one wasn't great- he was ageist ( I'm in my 50's) and he wouldn't let me drive. With my instructor now I have driven 100% of the time from day one.
Mine swore, shouted and balled at me. Told me I was a danger and didn’t deserve to have a license. Now my test is next week and I’m doing it in my own car. Been round the area it’s in, done loads of manoeuvres, been driving for around 3 years. If the instructor isn’t nice then the experience won’t be
My first driving instructor was awful. He made me feel like an utter idiot and treated me like I should have just magically known everything. He was terrible teacher. Thankfully he seemed to realise how rubbish he was and quit and my second driving instructor was amazing. He was calm, built up my confidence and, most importantly, taught me what to do; he didn't expect me to know what to do. He let me do things in my own time. Thanks to him, I passed first time!
this was my first instructor
Same here. Changing instructors changed my life!!!
Same , first instructor was not patient
Same, my first instructor actually did well getting me comfortable on the road because I was very nervous, but he suddenly got all shouty and weird. Switching was best for me
Same i also have a same instructor he told me you're not listening to me
Same lol, feels so exhausting.
I know this is a serious video but you should definitely make a skit series of the "Over-demanding Instructor" or something. Those segments are not only relatable, but they're also quite comedic 😂. And the fact that you were willing to act as an anxious driver in front of some heavy traffic situations, just to teach us, is really commendable 😅. Keep up the awesome, educational work!
This is a really good one; ua-cam.com/video/D3BEL57gsf4/v-deo.html
your pupils are lucky to have you-- really appreciate you posting these gems for those of us who aren't presented with that opportunity, game changer ❤
GOD you have hit the nail on the head with the learner psychology! I feel so much less alone knowing other people have the same anxieties. Everybody keeps telling me to switch to automatic. When I tell people I am learning manual the response I normally get is: "why are you doing this to yourself?" And I would be lying if I said that I didn't think that almost every lesson 😅 but I'm determined to do it and your channel is really helping!
My instructor was always taking the wheel it was so annoying and confidence knocking
I had the same experience with my 4th instructor. Now found myself a new one. ❤
I’m here to say you are a star. I have never seen a. Instructor dissecting a learner’s psychology brilliantly. You deserve more subscribers. Keep it up.
I had this instructor after my original instructor left the country, in a few short weeks they damaged my confidence and made driving feel stressful instead of exciting and liberating. However, after ditching them, buying my own car and most importantly, finding your videos I passed first time this week - I can’t thank you enough or stress how brilliant and helpful your videos are. I’ll continue to watch to continually improve as a driver and to also support your channel - you’re fantastic!! 👏🏼
That's really great to hear! Thank you for watching and congratulations on passing!
Gosh the bravery of doing that skit at the roundabout with that big car waiting behind you - that's the confidence I need in my life 😄
My instructor was so chilled it was great, he had a good way of pointing out errors without making me feel bad. I said how nervous I was and he really built up my confidence slowly. We only had one drive where he got me to try a road onto a busy ring road and I just couldn’t see a gap and was in a state so he helped me. Just before I passed he got me to do that junction again and I was ok with it.
Its amazing how fast 40 feels when you first start learning. Even 30 feels fast in some situations
That's true.
And then once you've been on the dual carriageway then down to 20 in an urban area, you're absolutely crawling.
@@ConquerDriving what's silly (not sure if it's still the case) before I drove a car I drove a scooter I passed my CBT on a 50cc Twist and go scooter and was allowed to ride my 125cc 4 speed manual Vespa on the road without any training. That was pretty scary learning clutch control on a motorbike with nobody to teach me xD. I nearly flipped the bike the first time I tried to set off on it xD
The scooter I had was a 12hp Vespa T5 and it could just about push 70mph on dual carriageways. It used to keep up with the 200cc lambrettas with no problems. I did quickly learn how to ride a manual motorbike but the initial learning period was terrifying.
I'd really like to get a full bike license and get rid of my car but commuting 50 miles a day in all weathers wouldn't be fun, plus you're extremely vulnerable on a bike.
To me it feels slow
I really regret staying with an instructor that made me feel so bad. She had a habit of telling me to pull over and saying something like three roads back you made a mistake, what was it? I wouldn't remember by then and she would get snappy. She made me cry also. She convinced me I would never pass as my anxiety amd nerves were getting worse.
When I changed instructor finally he praised when I did well and gently corrected issues. My confidence increased massively and I wished I moved long before.
That lady was getting a rise out of bullying you
Information overload giving me PTSD 😂
My last driving instructor was bloody awful - whenever I would tell him that I wasn't feeling confident about standstill starts etc and that I wanted to practice, he'd always go "Why are you taking lessons from me then, just go do it on your own and don't waste my time" - he would also never explain WHY i need to do anything, I was his robot just doing commands he issued and nothing more. I wasted so much money and time and got nothing out of it. I'm an international student and I live alone so I don't even have the luxury of having friends or family to lend me their car to practice with. not sure if I ever want to start learning how to drive again.
Don’t give up driving, you’ve got this, believe you’re a champion because you are, so don’t give up just because of what some fool said, that doesn’t define you, it’s your drive (no pun intended) that determines your success and rest be assured you will pass because I believe you have the will to do so. 💪🏾I advise talking to friends about instructors they’ve had, and switching to them and see how it goes. Best wishes to you.
Sounds like someone who wants your money without doing the work. Definitely move to another instructor. They're not all like that.
Richard your perspective is truly refreshing when there is so much impatience and ill-will in the world towards people for trying to learn anything. Learning is a very delicate process where people start absolutely vulnerable with practically negative and nonexistent self-confidence, and need to be encouraged and built up at their pace to greater heights. Teaching the how, when, and why, and allowing them to practice, understand, and explore it for themselves--with as much protection from unnecessary pressure as possible--brings confidence, and many people who are responsible for teaching in many fields are too lazy to do that. They just get mad at you for not already being at their level, never thinking about how to encourage good decision-making and problem-solving for your continued success in their absence.
I only ever had a couple hours of lessons because I thought my instructor was a prick.
He started shouting at me for taking a wrong turn and grabbed the wheel as I was going round a roundabout. He told me I hesitated even though I didn't. Told me my parking was shit when I was within the lines. It hit the point that mid lesson I just said I have had eough and drove myself home.
I passed my test a few weeks later with one minor which was for speeding up to quickly when I went from a 20mph zone to a 30mph zone.
It was so relaxing driving with family compared to the instructor.
lol this video unlocked some unpleasant memories I thought I'd forgotten, my first instructor was extremely impatient you could see his face turn a deep shade of red in frustration. Short tempered. Every single lesson. Sent my anxiety through the roof. I soon stopped lessons after that. Wish my instructor was Richard Xx
This!! My first instructor was AWFUL. Kept shouting, texting while I was driving, having me run errands for him instead of taking me on the test route, shouting, telling me “that was crap”, etc. I just got more and more anxious every lesson and started having panic attacks.
Didn’t have another lesson for 2 years as I was so anxious. Then I met a taxi driver who told me it was my instructor that was the problem, not me.
So I got a new instructor who was AMAZING. Positive, calm and encouraging. Built my confidence massively. I did 10 x 2hr lessons with her and passed my test a few weeks ago!! 🎉 passed first time with only 3 minors :))
I had the *somewhat* opposite experience, when I had my first ever lesson, my instructor at the end of the lesson let me drive home, he was 100% convinced I had driven before (I hadn't, I just have a good understanding of how cars work and general driving code, just no experience) and he basically skipped through a bunch of things to teach me more advanced driving.
I knew in my head that I wasn't a good driver because of 0 experience. He soon started to realise that I was taking corners too wide, getting way too close to the kerb and parked cars, couldn't reverse, park, anything, and he got seriously pissed off at me because of it. I still to this day haven't passed my test (or had any more lessons) and that was 6 years ago, instead I did my motorcycle CBT then test and have been riding bikes ever since.
My motorcycle instructor was spot on and I had never even riden a bike before, after a couple of hours of teaching we went out on the road, he pointed out my mistakes and we worked on them, and I got my CBT. When I started riding, I was completely confident and competent rider because of him, then went on to pass my test first time, 0 lessons. It made me realise that I had total road sense, just no ability to operate a car safely.
It was a shame really because I think I would've learned pretty quick with proper instruction, he just totally killed my desire to drive a car. Maybe I'll book some lessons again soon.
I had an awful instructor for my first lesson, who was stern, grumpy, and acted annoyed with me while she didn't really teach me anything; she just scolded me for doing wrong as if i was a fully fledged driver taking lessons just for fun or something while it was my first day on a road--ever. I had never dealt with maneuvering the vehicle at stop signs, traffic lights, and road markings, or anything for that matter. My prior experience was 3-4 hours driving in loops around a vacant parking lot at the mall. She gave me so much anxiety just complaining about what i was doing, while i was already incredibly vulnerable and self-conscious as I'M LEARNING SOMETHING NEW AND TRYING MY BEST. Ultimately i'm guessing she seemed to think i did reasonably well after like 5-10 minutes and pushed me way out of my comfort zone and had me do easily dangerous and reckless things unsuited for my non-existent skill level in which a couple of mishaps occurred.
I made it home anxious, upset, emotionally shaken, but safely--and dreaded my next lesson a week from then. But as a stroke of luck, she was not available for the next lesson and I got a substitute who was much nicer and took things at a beginner's pace. I immediately changed all my future lessons to that substitute instructor and had a much better time taking the rest of my ten 90-minute lessons. In the end, while the substitute instructor was much nicer, I felt her teaching progress was stalling out midway, and we focused on just passing the road test, not preparing for the world of various situations and markings I could encounter on the road.
With only 20 hours behind the wheel, I ended up passing my road test on my first try in mid March of this year with one fault that was due to something the instructor told us right before the test that the DMV proctor didn't agree with. Me and the other student that took his test immediately after mine, got faulted for the same exact thing at the same place due to the teachings of our instructor. (the DMV proctor was awful by the way. miserable grumpy hag that just barked orders at us)
I'm definitely not confident despite having my license now, because the road test was so focused on doing such a small handful of things right, that I know i haven't encountered like 95% of road situations yet, and to be honest--it gives me a lot of anxiety. I try to drive at least once weekly now if I can bring myself to, so I don't forget and regress. I still have a long way to go.
@@shoyrushoyru Anxiety will be common for next few months. Try to drive once a week at least, half/one hour, no matter what. Anxiety and fear will go away with time and experience.
@@sylvianbard Yeah, I just gotta keep at it and keep trying my best. When I get the courage, sometimes I take the opportunity to drive to run some little household errands like going to the hardware store or pharmacy. Thanks!
You should. It might save your life.
I dreaded every lesson I had, sadly. My instructor was constantly haranguing me over every mistake, and by the last lesson before my test, he was completely ignoring me and barely said a word to me except to berate me. I passed the first time out of sheer luck and perhaps determination not to see him again. The sad effect of this is I have not gotten behind the wheel since as he really cast a huge doubt on my ability to drive.
Do your pass plus or similar with a different instructor. You passed your test and your last instructor must have had some confidence in you to let you use their car for your test. 😊
One thing with my driving instructor is that he isn’t consistent with his instructions- for example when I was first learning to switch lanes he always told me to never slow down, keep a consistent speed. Couple weeks later, I’m trying to make a lane change, but no space as cars are coming up fast, so he tells me that I should slow down and let the cars pass then tuck in behind them. Fine. Well couple lessons after, I’m making a lane change, same scenario , so I slowed down. He looks at me and tells me- you NEVER slow down when switching lanes. Had to let him know that I was just doing what he told me to.😂
His was probably a bad explanation. You don't slow down when the lanes are clear, but if there are other cars you can let off the throttle to let the other drivers go. Don't brake unless you absolutely need to
I''m having this problem with my instructor, her directions aren't always clear.
Today she was going over pulling over on the right hand side and said you should come to a stop first
Me: So always come to a stop?
Her: Yes
10 minutes later on a clear road
Her: Why are you coming to a stop? There's no traffic is there?
Had a tricky time learning to drive to begin with after lack of confidence with a previous instructor, but found a new one that I really got on with and it made the world of difference to everything about my driving - passed a couple days ago with 3 minors!
My first instructor was good until it got more difficult then every time i made a mistake he would just seem frustrated and say I’m dopey without explanation of how i could do better, this made me hate my lessons and i was basically watching the clock on the dashboard waiting for it to end
Many instructors could learn from this video. You are honest in admitting you made mistakes when you first began teaching.
Thank you. I definitely still make mistakes and can improve.
Back when I was learning, having my instructor grab the steering wheel was my least favourite thing... Perhaps it was made worse that he'd grab it if I misunderstood/misheard directions e.g. I was planning in my head to go straight on a roundabout but he wanted the second exit (where my lane could take either exit).
That's really bad, yeah. They should only take the wheel for the safety of the vehicle or other road users.
My driving instructor lost his patience quickly and got annoyed when I was hesitant about driving onto junctions and roundabouts. I had a traumatising lesson once when he completely lost it with me and said that I was behaving stupidly when I wasn't able to restart the car correctly when it stalled, when in fact he never let me do that on my own. He also screamed at a car that didn't move out of the way for me and even banged his window. The worst thing was when he told me "people generally need 10 more lessons at this stage, but with you I really don't know". It has almost been 2 years and I haven't gathered the courage to book another lesson, not even at a different driving school. I'm even considering switching to automatic.
The information overload one is exactly how my instructor is. I've had 2 lessons and I'm frazzled and overwhelmed and don't want to learn to drive any more. I wish I could find someone compassionate like you to teach me.
Richard should be teaching other instructors as well
I’ve been watching your videos for some time. In many of your videos, I can clearly see that you are an exceptionally understanding and patient instructor, not only through the way you instruct and talk to your pupils, but also through your values and beliefs, for example, your emphasis on how important confidence is for learners and thus using a more encouraging tone of voice instead of sounding pushy and blamey. You have shown us your teaching philosophy. You are not merely teaching a skill, but giving high-quality EDUCATION.
One more thing, please let me acknowledge your exceptional ability to put forward your ideas and give reasonings in a clear and logical way, as shown in many of your videos. It shows you have put time in thinking, structuring and organizing what to say, ensuring you are making yourself clear so that the audience can follow and understand. It is treating your job seriously and being professional at its finest. I have never posted such a lengthy comment but you deserve it. We can see the effort you have put. Thank you so much!
Thank you!
my first insuctor was hell, he was always being shouty and taking the wheel and after a few lessons i stopped. I got a new instructor and he doesnt talk much other than giving directions or just asking normal question, how are you?, how was your day, and i found that hes probably the best instructor for me
It was the same for me, only in the meantime, the instructor constantly put me down and called me stupid. What was the result? Even though I have a driver's license, I'm afraid to get in the car.
Go to an old airfield and drive around at top speed it will do wonders
I had instructor that rushed me almost from beggining and what ended up happening is, I started doing dangerous manoeuvers(like pulling out at junctions without properly checking and slowing down) just so that I'm not "too slow" for his liking. At which point he started stressing himself because he didn't feel safe. I have to add that it was fairly busy city in Europe.
You are legit my 2nd instructor and I am learning in an automatic. After my 4th lesson i was in bits and never wanted to get into a car again. My area is FILLED with 2 way roads with parked cars on both sides and enough space for one car, and this is where my instructor took me every lesson, even though it was clear my anxiety was through the roof.
I cam home, went to your channel and am now loving my lessons. My test is booked and I do wonder if my instructor wonders how I am learning how to change lanes, roundabouts properly, when he hasn't done much of it with me
My instructor makes me nervous by not letting me take my test. They made me cancel it six times and every time it builds it up and becomes scarier and scarier, and I get that their scores are affected if I fail but as someone with severe anxiety it’s making it a million times worse. I don’t know how to explain it to them anymore. I would genuinely rather fail than keep learning and never being allowed to take it. I’ve been learning for over two years
Buy your own car and book your own test and take it in your car if you feel you are ready 😊
My instructor is abusing me for every mistake because I cross my arms turning the wheel even I do the turn properly Im always shouted at.We have been practicing left turn for more than 20 hours. I asked him to practice other manovers but he is insiting I haven't learnt turning left properly unless I pay him more he's not willing to practice parking.
I've only taken 10 hours of driving lessons when I have never driven before. After the overwhelming first 2 hours of the lesson, I spent a lot of time watching your videos and man, during the 2nd sesh it became really comfortable and I am no longer nervous. Like what you said, a skill can only be acquired. But only if the person is really willing to spend the right amount of time and effort to get it. Now I have over 5k km of driving in just 3 months. Thank you very much for your driving lesson videos. I not only learned how to drive, but also how to do it safely. More power to you!
I really want to learn to drive but I’m worried about a different instructor now weather they will be the same I have mental health and it just doesent help
My second instructor was like this. I stopped lessons for nearly a year before I started again this year with a lovely instructor and I finally booked my test.
My dad is also like this, tbh. I used to get so stressed when he used to pressure me to go when I didn’t feel ready to go but now I just tell him to be quiet. The driver drives and the passenger gets to pick the music.
Funny. I think the second version of events was a lot more stressful. Constantly having my instructor question whether or not I should go or not gave me a lot of decision anxiety and made me feel like an idiot. If he had just told me to "go now" I would feel like he knows what he's doing and that it's on him if I don't make it.
Edit: I should add that making decisions like that and judging whether or not something was going to work was very rough for me and took me a while to figure out
Ohh gosh tht was my instructor 😢😢😢😢. You should have gone, why dd you go. I thank God i passed on first attempt because I was definately going to look for another instructor if i had failed.I dreaded lessons😢
I got lucky with a very good instructor, he was very patient, made sure I knew when I'd done well, as well as when i made a mistake and we had great chat aswell when I was comfortable. I've recommended him to others aswell.
My first instructor was an asshole, made me feel uncomfortable and nervous all the time which lead to me making more mistakes and affect concentration, if I was out driving with my dad would make 0 mistakes, so I passed my theory and wanted to book my practical test instructor said no… so I dropped him then and there started with a new instructor who felt far more comfortable with and after the 3rd lessons with him he said yeah you are more then ready for your test so I booked one and passed, I’ve not seen my original instructor driving around on lessons for a long time now
My first instructor was this: faster, faster, slower, indicate, turn, more,less... Just an hour of being told what I was doing was wrong, but not why. Also would put his hand on mine on the gearstick 🤮
My instructor always shouted in the car, took me to the afternoon traffic without any experience with a car, hit my hand when I was upshifting late, even honked on hot women (from the passenger seat) when we waited for them to cross the street. Shot my moral for driving for a few years.
my instructor used to close her eyes and scream every time we would go over a rail crossing.
That’s just happened with me today my instructor was making me so anxious also he was using his phone the whole lesson
my instructor isnt exactly bad but he does take the wheel sometimes. which does stress me out
My instructor is a little bit like this. I feel he doesn't seem to pay much attention when on my lessons aswell, always on the phone, yawning throughout my lessons, and every single time he sees a pothole he quickly takes the wheel when i am driving to steer away which really puts me off, so not sure if i should change instructors or not.
Seems like you should, he shouldn't be doing any of that
You could always tell them what's bothering you first to give them a chance.
My first ever driving lesson (2 hours) I assumed id be learning the basics in the passenger seat. Cockpit controls, finding bite point, using the gears and stop starting on a quiet road. Nope my instructor had me driving immediately on main roads around roundabouts then started yelling at me. *MY FIRST EVER DRIVING LESSON* haven't got a clue what I am doing. Completely terrified at this point. Awful experience. My instructor was an older man who clearly has own his methods of teaching which involves yelling and shouting which involves running before you can walk. Real shame.
Passed my Test First time! 🎉🎉 thank-you for generously sharing knowledge it really helped me! ❤️
My advise:
watch test routes & mock tests
manoeuvres videos
Tips & advise shorts
practise a lot! With instructior and family
most of all, be confident on your skills for the test! 👌🏽✨
You are brilliant, I'm a learner with severe anxiety (and autism which affects how I understand instructions) and I had an instructer literally ask me what autism is. He was dead serious. Having instructions that you don't understand thrown at you faster than you can follow them doesn't teach someone how to drive. It teaches them that driving is stressful and that they don't want to do it.
Learning a car is a step-by-step process. My first instructor was ace. On my first lesson he taught me what the clutch is and how it works with the engine, what happens to it when we press the clutch down partially, and he got to know me so he could explain things in a way i could understand, comparing it to things i was already familiar with. He let me go during covid and I had to switch to an automatic car because getting manual lessons was becoming very difficult. (Plus I've always been a believer in electric anyway) but he did it right. No shouting, it felt more like a discussion than a lesson. And that helped me massively. I didn't feel like I was an idiot and he was berating me. It felt closer to a friend teaching me something new.
All instructors need to see this video in my opinion. Including all parents who teach their kids how to drive.
also autistic I feel you so much!! My instructor said he'd never taught anyone who didn't learn in a linear path (being good at something one week and staying good at it once you've learnt it, where as non linear like me is being good at something one week and struggling the following week) and that's not even specific to autism!!
My learner's permit instructor was *awful*. When I was getting my learner's permit a year or 2 ago, my instructor berated me, tried to manipulate me into thinking I was terrible, saying I was worse than any other student he'd worked with constantly, all while I was trying not to cry. Mind you, this was a middle-aged man to a 15 year old girl (who, at the time, had undiagnosed ADHD and had very low self-esteem). I had never driven on an actual road before, with actual people, it was a busy town, and I was completely stressed, overstimulated and overwhelmed, and he was making it all the worse. It took all my willpower to not just stop the car and get out. Worst 3 hours of my life, and never went back to complete the rest of those hours. When those three hours were finally over, he told me I was one of his worse students, and all I could do was thank him for his time (habit, I was really just thinking of how much I wanted to leave him parked in the middle of the road way too many times to count) and quickly went back to where my dad was waiting. I *hate* crying in front of others, but at that point, I was just so overstimulated and stressed that I broke down when my dad asked if I wanted to drive.
Now as a 17 year old with my license, I still really wish I told that a-hole to f off- :')
My instructor forgot it was my 2nd lesson and got me to drive through a busy town at rush hour .. he thought I was someone completely different! He apologize when he worked out why I was struggling
This reminds me of my first lessons lol. My instructor was pretty harsh on me and I had a full on break down after one of my lessons. I have always needed some pressure on me to get stuff done however so once I got used to it I calmed down a lot and passed with him first time. When I got more confidence we'd often just chat while I was learning larger round abouts. Passed with him first time and have had my license over a year now
My first instructor was like this. more interested in his alloys not getting kerbed, so always suddenly grabbing the wheel whenever I got close 🤦🏻♂️😂
This is what mine is like, every single pothole he sees he grabs the wheel idk
Well it’s his car and it would cost him money to get it repaired so why not?
This was my first instructor and this put me off driving for 8 years! I feel so lucky that my second instructor was amazing and double lucky as he's become my absolute best mate and now he's just a part of my everyday life ❤
Bit worried about relying on the shield on roundabouts in case the driver comes round without signalling. Definitely a gamble.
You have to at busy roundabouts or you'll be there all day. Most of the time, you can tell by their speed and position if they are leaving the roundabout.
@@spicynachos2762 Then you get the idiots indicating right as they leave left. "Thanks buddy!"
My dad has made every single mistake in this video when teaching me to drive. The difference between this guy and him is that my dad 200% believes he is in the right and refuses to be told otherwise.
I first 3 intructors made me anxious. I went into my driving with the mentality of im not here to make friends so it doesnt matter if i like them or not. I was wrong. The worst teacher would comment on me not knowing what a junction was on my first lesson or any other lack of knowledge for that matter. Hed shout at me whenever i stalled. He would pull up to the side of the road and talk calmly and try and find out why i was so stressed. Yeah because of you!!! struggled to tell the difference between left and right due to the stress. Dont be afraid to switch or ditch instructors. Itll take a few different teachers. I eventually gave driving one last try and i had a female instructor and she not only taught me how to drive but also have confidence in myself and keep calm. Also it can help if you are recommended a driving instructor through friend or family. That way you're not diving into the deepend.