The problem with getting divorced - Jordan Peterson
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- Опубліковано 6 лип 2022
- The problem with getting divorced - Jordan Peterson
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- - About Jordan Peterson - -
Jordan B. Peterson (born 12 June 1962) is a Canadian professor of psychology, clinical psychologist, UA-cam personality, and author. He began to receive widespread attention in the late 2010s for his views on cultural and political issues, often described as conservative.
Born and raised in Alberta, Peterson obtained bachelor's degrees in political science and psychology from the University of Alberta and a PhD in clinical psychology from McGill University. After teaching and research at Harvard University, he returned to Canada in 1998 to permanently join the faculty of psychology at the University of Toronto. In 1999, he published his first book, Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief, which became the basis for many of his subsequent lectures. The book combined information from psychology, mythology, religion, literature, philosophy, and neuroscience to analyze systems of belief and meaning.
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The importance of a well functioning family is so underrated nowadays
The Bible says that no one is a good person. We have all broken God's law the 10 commandments, we have all committed, lies, adultery, idolatry, and blasphemy. We deserve hell, but because of what Jesus did on the cross we can be forgiven. So if you Repent of your sins, change your wicked ways, and put your faith in Christ you will be written in the book of life. 👌 🙏Repentance is reviewing one's actions and feeling contrition or regret for past wrongs, which is accompanied by commitment to and actual actions that show and prove a change for the better.. .. ..
@@TmacPlushVideos This can be problematic.What happened to all those that came,lived and died before christ came to die.??They are not "saved" probably.
Not really. This is why divorce is so important. So that people can get out of disfunctional relationships instead of putting up with abise
What is its rating?
@@hijodelaisla275 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Some people are so terrified to be alone, they will enter a relationship at any cost. Later they find out how high that cost is.
Yeah relationship is useless
Unfortunately sometimes it's the only possible option for ones mental or physical health. Having an abusive spouse is worse than divorce.
I agree being in a marriage with someone who is abusive whether it’s financial, mental or physical isn’t worth being with .. I’m going thru something right now with my husband if my kids weren’t in the picture I would have left.. gave him too many chances
@C B Nobody is saying that doesn't happen,but that ISN'T what is being discussed here.
@C B your anecdotal experience does not set the standard outcome of divorces
@C B that is not at all relevant
75% of women initiate the divorce. Do you believe that the majority of these women are being physically and mentally abused?
My parents divorce changed- ruined our lives in ways my parents and us 3 kids could NEVER have imagined!😢😢😢
Damn
I wish you do well in life
Think of it the other way. Maybe your parents staying together would have ruined your lives in a different yet worst way.
@@brldbrld7780 maybe but the impact of divorce on children is very big.
@@Tabktopless-z9b i understand. I am sure that is a big deal.
My story is that my parents didn't divorced. The only example of a relationship that i have is two people arguing all the time, not hugging, not kissing, not even sleeping in the same bedroom. Everytime i heard them argue i felt helpless and I wanted to cry. When i was young i thought i was responsible to make my mother happy since her husband doesn't. I lost some of the best years of my life being just a reason for someone else to be happy.
Now I'm 30 and pretty much better after a lot therapy. I can't visit my home town for more that 3-4 days because their communication makes me sad. Many time i have thought that it would be great if they got a divorce and i could be with each one separate.
This is the point of view of 30year old though. I'm sure that is very different for a child to handle a divorce. Kids dont think like grown ups.
@@brldbrld7780 yes I understand. I'm sorry you to go through a toxic home. Maybe you would of still felt like you needed to make your mum happy if they divorced anyway. In fairness I'm divorced with children. I have always been very close to my kids but they get the best of me now that I'm not in a toxic marriage. My daughter definitely feels responsible for making her mum happy. I always remind my daughter that she is not responsible for how other people feel while also making her understand I'm responsible for her as her father( she is 8).
My parents divorced when I was about 8, and it wasn’t great. Dealing with being at two houses (forgetting things, having duplicates, etc.), emotional stress from being asked to testify against the other parent, and a feeling of shame and wrongness and like you have to pretend to everyone else like everything’s normal when it isn’t. Some people act like it’s great - you supposedly get twice the attention, twice the holidays, twice the presents - but you don’t, and it isn’t. I wondered for years what it would be like if they had just stayed together.
But my mother started the process of divorce from my stepfather a lot more recently, and it is absolutely the right thing to do. He’s abusive, narcissistic, and hell bent on ruining the life of me and my mother. “Lowering your market value”, “being poor”, and dealing with the complexity of kids is absolutely worth escaping him.
People watched & believed "THE BRADY BUNCH" = made the idea of 2 families becoming one happy family look "easy" with a Maid. ☯️
My heart goes out to you ❤️ may the Almighty make it easy for you!
@@KammeO Ummm, they were widowed. So.... what was the point again?
@@lisaaspland Tomato, tomahtoe...
@@lisaaspland The difference between death & divorce = Death is faster & You don't have to pack.
I walked this, and still walking. This is true believe it!
@@AnHeC No, definitely not but that is why I left, but she got the kids, so now I pay, happier but broke. No win either way.
Ayo I love Peterson but my mom divorced my dad after 15 years of him beating the shit out of me and her. He should highlight the exception so the people seeing this living the exception dont feel detered from getting divorced.
He didn't say you shouldn't get a divorce. He's just outlining the consequences. If you know them, you can make an informed decision. In your case, it seems worth it. But there can't be an "exception " because he's not saying divorcing is always the worse alternative. He's saying it has dire negative consequences, which to some people might be better than the alternative. Unfortunately statistics show that even with shitty parents, kids tend to do better than with divorced parents. But it's not a law lol, it is what it is
Peterson: here are the general consequences of divorce
The internet: Jordan Peterson says women need to stay in abusive relationships!
@@pararanthecaveman Yeah I would have been better off having the shit beat out of me for another 10 years. Statisticssasmishtics.
Yeah, JP is not in the business of bringing attention to exceptions and the complexity of situations to light.
Bro I totally understand I went thru the same with my parents however hes generally speaking from the standards of a regular divorce hes not talking about exceptions like us
I divorced and it was the best thing in my life!!! And raised a wonderful young man with the help of my husband who loves him to bits. I guess these generalisations don’t work.
I needed to hear that. 💛
Don’t let your anecdote make you think that’s the norm. The stats are clear, kids from a single parent household have way worse life outcomes in almost every way.
If you feel unsafe in your marriage RUN. Who cares about your “market value” if you’re miserable where you are
If you do not have kids making them misersble instead
True
I really objected to the market value comment. What about our self worth?
@@sarahmahon443 there are abusive relationships- ok to divorce.
but there are also divorces for frivolous reasons, ego, divorces due to interference by friends & relatives who poison people's minds and divorces for personality defects etc which are situations that can be worked upon rather than destroying a relationship/family and these newly divorced people are thrown into the marriage market with a reduced market value due to age and baggage.
Separation ended up being the single greatest thing for my family. My ex didn't participate with kids at all. He was a terrible partner. Had the mindset of a 21 year old who didn't have kids. Got drunk all the time. And basically felt like he didn't have to do anything because I would do everything. He did a 180 after I left because he was never a bad father just a lazy one. If there's no one there to do it for him eventually he will take the responsibility. He's an amazing father now and the kids have both their parents vs us being together in the same house yet only having one of us. We also communicate a thousand times better when there's no intimate relationship getting in the way
My mom divorced my dad and left us with him all 6kids and we were poor. But I have Jesus and we are all fighters now.
The process of getting over everything was very rough and a lot of us suffered psychotic episodes and near suicides.
Was your father good to you all? I'm asking because the common notion is that single fathers are usually abusive.
Oh wow, that so awesome, bad is good, and good is bad, my Christian indoctrination is complete, now I can be a willing slave to my employer
@@barunjena6171 that common notion is damaging and often abused by women who make false claims
@@barunjena6171 that seems like a wild generalization made to belittle single fathers. Do you think all single mothers are degenerate whoremongers?
It was one of the biggest mistakes in my life
Why so? There are reasons that made you get the divorced. Has any of the reasons changed?
I thought that for two years, then I actually fell in love. 21 years and four kids later, I'm the richest man in the world ✌️😁👍
Hardly surprising if you idolize liberal arts graduates and benzo addicts like Bordan Choas Lobster Jeterson, the Jesuit Agent Provocateur who sells snake oil to gullible incels
Hope you are proud of ruining your family for your own selfish interests.
You're not alone in this. Consider the fact that if someone misrepresents themselves it is awfully difficult to impossible to know them. It is often when we discover the actual person (so the mask slips) that divorce becomes our only viable option
Well. His daughter got a divorce, after having a child. I wonder why she didn't she didn't put up with an unhappy marriage for the sake of her child. It's always easy to preach. But people make mistakes and they should not have to stick with it if they are miserable.
He cant force his daughter. She is still her own person and if she got divorced what has it gotta do with him?
... well she got married a second time and he officiated it , it's on her channel
@@universeofopulence Yes she did. And so can other women. People make mistakes. Staying married is not always the best option if you already have a child.
@@shruthirajan2428 You completely missed the point of this clip. He never said ANYONE should stay in an unhappy marriage for any reason. He was saying that you shouldn't rush into marriage until you absolutely know 100 percent that you are with the RIGHT person for you. Obviously this doesn't apply to his daughter or anyone else that has ALREADY been divorced. He is talking to the people who have NOT been married yet. He's trying to stress the fact of how ugly divorce is, so choose very wisely, carefully, and slowly.
He never said you should put up with misery. He only points out one of the cons of having to divorce with children. As adults and as parents we have responsibilities and, we all pay for our mistakes.
I have my kids and Am a lot happier and better off financially
Best thing I’ve done Jordan
Did you also get addicted to Valium and join the Nazi Party like Jeterson?
Are your kids happy? If so I'm guessing they are still young.
Like he said one or both of you is screwed. How is your kids happiness? Do the kids get to see their other parent or will they never know the other parent. Are you just better off or is it the entire family as a whole ? How much unfixable damage was done during the divorce?
Y'all jumping on this person like "aRe yOUr kIdS hAPpY??". It's like divorces happen in a vacuum. There's probably yelling and/or violence (verbal, possibly physical). There's probably neglect. The atmosphere in the household goes down the drain. Are kids happy in that scenario?
Also Jordan isn't saying "divorces harm children so never do it!" or "divorces are selfish, think of the children!". He's saying the probability of divorces being messy with kids involved is high. But he's also saying amical separations cancel all that.
We don't know this person's situation, but ultimately kids are happy in 1) stable two-parent families or 2) stable one-parent families. Kids are never happy in parental warzones.
@@dms-f16 your speculation is no better than the speculation you chastise.
Especially if one is a rage narcissist. Who has money and no morale conscious.
Who would want to have a kid with somebody like that in the first place?
@@gh-.-st3824 unfortunately truth is women are biological drawn to them 🤷
@@gh-.-st3824 Narcissists mask really well as normal people and only show their true colours after it becomes really hard for their partner to leave them. I can't believe people don't know this stuff. Abuse starts off slow, people don't just get into relationships with narcissists and toxic people on purpose. These people are well loved members of society usually too, being the ideal, upstanding citizen.
@@gh-.-st3824 someone who grow up with a rage narcissistic parent
@@gh-.-st3824 nobody! However, a narcissist is not one to advertise their dark personality to you until you're hooked in and its too late. There are signs, but if you aren't aware of what those red flags are, you'll miss them.
My parents divorced - both doing really well, remarried, i’ve done well.
If the financial implications after divorce in the US are poor, change the finance laws.
The gov/ state profit off of it so not gonna happen
The state/gov profits off of it so it won't happen
It's necessary sometimes.
Don't think he was trying to claim it wasn't. Even if you had a justifiable reason for a post-children divorice the things hes laying out here are still most likely going to apply.
Hes also speaking in generalities here. Sometimes you can have a "good" divirice, whatever that actually means, but more often than not, at the very least one, or most likely, both of you are going to end up with a life worse than if you never got married at all. And like the point of tbis clip is saying, that problem becomes amplified by a huge magnitude if you had children before the divorice.
I'm glad my mom divorced my dad. He was a raging alcoholic (his childhood trauma: family military life of moving constantly and depressed mother who killed her self and he found her at 15). He couldnt be the dad he wanted or the husband. He was ruining our lives.
I still suffer from it, I'm 38.
The divorce was a relief.
Except I still had to go visit him on weekends and forgive him in life.
I'm so f$#@^%$ codependent it's crazy.
But the codependency is a you problem not a my parents problem
@@bgrego88 just saying sometimes divorce is good
@@phatyfruits2176 sometimes it is but what would your daughter say?
He is right about that. But in my case the cheating started small and got worse and worse and then it was too much. I have four kids and the marriage left me completely broke when it ended.
Jeterson is often wrong, but always sure of himself.
Maybe someone should point out to him 98% of marriages fail in less than 10 years
Yeah, that's what he said
Yup. But Peterson is a moron so 'you should have picked better' because wa are all psychic apparently. All victims are to blame and all.
This is literally what our new generation needs to hear💯
The initial affects from divorce lasted 4 full years for me !! like terrible stress, emotion over load , getting used to handing the kids back then completely alone again, the monetary cost is crazy , the toll it takes on you is nothing you’ll think it will be ! Obviously things can always be difficult from now on but I’m just saying the really Terrible bit is over ! Everyone can have different experience sure but anyone thinking about it just try think a bit longer ! It’s pretty awful and will affect you for most probably the rest of your precious life !
I was raised in a broken family and it was hell,i was 3 when my parents got divorced and had 4 siblings,but its better they got divorced rather than stay together,it wasnt pretty
I escaped from a narcissist after 5 years of legal battle. I'm looking after kids and truly happy than remaining in a dead end relationship
A man that hasn't gone through it. Spittin spot on facts all about it. That's how you know he's never full of shit.
Seriously? He's a practicing clinical psychologist he listens to his patients talk about this all the time. Lol 'full of shit' if you listened to different people every day for decades tell you that a certain drink made them sick I think you'd have a pretty good grasp on not recommending it to people with a good reason why.
The number 1 cause of divorce... marriage
He's so full of shit! If the divorce was like that then so was the marriage. Who would want to stay in that kind of marriage?
Staying together as a couple with kids when your marriage is dysfunctional is an absolutely horrendous idea and should be thrown down the drainage
Thank you!!!!!! Wtf is wrong with people saying they should work it out for the kids when it’s so toxic you can’t even be in the same house . Some people aren’t just meant to be together rather they have kids or not and the more it’s forced the worse it gets.
@broncos8664 I'm telling you right now... it's stupid to divorce bro... no matter what the dating stage is the the trial period... everything is on the table you see it all if you choose to marry the person that means what you got is special...divorcing shouldn't even come up
@@broncos8664you shouldn't be with a toxic person anyways how you goin marry someone and then say all of a sudden that shit turned toxic... there be subtle hints everywhere if you can't see it then your ignoring it or naive
He is not saying you should, but you should do EVERYTHING to make it functional
@@Antonio_Serdar exactly!
Yeah I’m a woman and never understood the laws for bleeding men dry when you leave. I only had one daughter but I was happy to have her father help with school excursions and shoes and glasses and stuff she needed. But I didn’t need him to pay my rent and bills. I would’ve had to pay those things even if I didn’t have my kid so why then should he be on the hook for it.
You is a saint of a woman, you don't understand the laws for bleeding us men dry but your sisters(females in general) have no problem exploiting it and that is the problem, a problem completely solvable by woman, preach your message
it’s not „bleeding them dry“, at least in my country. but it makes total sense to split all assets and win generated during the marriage 50/50. even as a stay at home mom, you enabled your man to earn that money because he didn’t have to take care of kids 24/7. the woman needs compensation too, also regarding to her pension.
@@BlondeQtie yeah I agree with most of that but alimony is bullshit.
My parents had a horrible divorce when I was in college. It was awful. It was a decade ago and still affects us to this day. Not as bad as in cases when children are young like my nieces and nephews but still. I do think that this is one of the reasons that my husband and I are afraid to have kids.
dont have them
I’m single and really would love to learn more about you ,hit me up when you get this
I can testify to all of that.
...he's so right, I payed child support for 19 and a half years, it was a struggle sometimes but it had a huge impact on my 2nd wife and 2 kids...we stayed friends and pooled our resources to by him big things, like a bike or a Walkman or Air Jordan's when he played basketball in junior high and high school, 160 bucks 30 years ago, but it was necessary, his step dad bought him a cheap knock off that hurt his feet, no arch support, then he was pissed because my ex putting 80 bucks towards a pair of shoes, me the other half of the price, my 2nd wife didn't like it either...😆 lol, but it is a hard job....
He's a virtue signalling benzo addict exploiting the uneducated for a fascist agenda.
Pretending being an entitled little princess and a pretentious sophisticate is something to aspire to is truly sociopathic
57YOM divorced from 60YOF with BPD and NPD five years ago. My 23YO son had been brainwashed his whole life. He escaped for a time, but she had convinced him to move back in with her. He's my greatest blessing, but he's stuck in her fantasy world.
She may have raised him as her replacement therapist and replacement adults so that psychologically, he feels that he has to be there for her.
In one case, living separately from the single parent helped the person come out of that parent's fantasy world and see the reality.
Success in divorce comes thru constant effort from both to put kids above personal feelings.
After the dust settles get to birthdays together and dinners shared because it will not only change the lives of your kids but it will possibly save yours too.
I'm happily separated not divorced. My husband and still have a good relationship for the kids and still do family vacations and all that together. We split 50/50 with the kids and we never ask the other for money unless it's Medical and that's 50/50. We don't want to divorce because you never know
“Demolish your life” in terms of money money money
Money doesn’t buy happiness, and staying with someone who hates you is WORSE THAN HAVING NO MONEY
I’m single and really would love to learn more about you ,hit me up when you get this
It's definitely a trade-off, but sometimes it's worth it. I'm grateful that my parents didn't divorce until I reached adulthood, but it's going to make caring for them harder when they get old.
Jokes on you Jordan! I was poor when I got married. Still poor though....
He's just speaking from his own experience wanting to leave his wife and finding out how much it would cost to kill her.
Lmao 🤣
I am extremely fortunate.
(I) seprated from my ex partner of almost 10 years, 5 years ago.
He and I had been together from 16 & 19. Up until our mid late 20s, sharing two boys. Though we were not married, everything we had was tied up together.
(Long story short)
5 years later I have twins with my now partner, we share a happy healthy home, and co exist, co parent with my ex without any animosities.
It took time, understanding and an acknowledgement of history.
A heart broken is a heart hurt, hell bent on hatred, and revenge.
Patients understanding and the will to put one In another's shoes, being able to understand the loss, no matter the cause, not matter the reason, ( I understand with some its last choice or nothing, in these cases i eat my words). In mine it was love loss and years of built up resentments.
It's hard, but I took the time to compartmentalise, and It has benefited our family greatly.
Meh my parents got divorced (for very legitimate reasons) when i was around 10 and they’re both much better for it, and I have arguably been able to mature through it and face a lot of problems within myself that may have been avoided if not for the specific trajectory of my life. I understand I’m an outlier but it can be done
I'm glad my Patents Had a divorce. Everytime they der each Other they Go for the throat. Wouldn't Want to live with that.
Family is wealth. Divorce is poverty.
Single is ultimate wealth.
Well said!
Not today. Single is king
Do you know how much kids cost?
@@lisaaspland Material wealth isn't the same thing.
As someone who has been married for 38 years I can attest to the positives of a peaceful separation. My husband and I have been separated on more than one occasion. Being apart has made us both realize what we were missing from each other and gave us the space to work on our selves. And, yes, we are together at this time.
Rather interesting approach 😉
I’m single and really would love to learn more about you ,hit me up when you get this
I don’t care how deeply I’m in love with someone I’m getting a prenup. Those roses wilt real fast lol
The person you marry is never the same one you divorce. A prenup should be the only marital agreement. Getting married for the right reasons is pivotal. Either party is free to change their minds later but should be reasonable
@@JoseDiaz-rd9fh Yea women aren't reasonable when they feel you owe them something or are angry at you, or want to hurt you out of spite
@@bgrego88 or the all too common "I'll get married and or have a child, that'll keep him from leaving me while I act out my insecurities in the most childish way ever."
Pre-nups are garbage not worth the paper they’re written on. A judge can decide to throw it out for ANY reason they feel. Any good attorney will tell you this
You DON'T NEED TO BE MARRIED!! Your already a narcissist its sounds like. Who the hell falls in love like that.
Ok! This is mine and that's yours!! You have a roommate - NOT A MARRIAGE!!
I divorced my ex and we are friends, kid stays 1 week with me 1 week with her, we split all costs related with the kid. We are rational human beings but we just didn’t feel we were still on the same page…
Lmao read the DSM under cluster b section
Good for you sounds amicable
I’m single and really would love to learn more about you ,hit me up when you get this
Shit. If that was how divorce worked, most women wouldn’t be as shitty as they are. I was treated like shit for 15 fucking years, all of them under threat of divorce. When she finally did it, she committed adultery and because we live in a feminist shithole of a society, she got the kids and 55% of my income for five years. I saw my kids six times in 17 months before I got a court date. First thing out of the fat fucker of a judge was, “we all know how hard it is to be a ‘single mother’…..”
Didn’t do a fucking thing for her ignoring the court order and “forgetting it was my weekend.” Ignored the texts that said, “I’m
Mad at you and don’t want you to see the kids.”
When my son joined the military, I meant it when I said, “this society is not worth your life, son. This order of things is worthless and worthy of destruction.”
*Why these shows that portray a wedding as winning a contest should be outlawed.
When I was growing up, we use to hear about celebrities getting divorced and finding new partners and moving on very quickly. It normalised it for me, however as I grew older I found that the divorced people I knew were unhappier and often lonely. This is anecdotal so it might be different elsewhere but unless there’s infidelity I’m holding onto my family no matter what.
People who stayed married are mostly miserable too. My grandma told me that she was jelaus of divorced women. That marriage is a gulag and it should be time limited. 15 years and you are free. I have never spoken to an elderly person that had a perfect marriage. Usually it's bitter, because by now they regret putting up with garbage. They see they have wasted life for nothing.
If marriage is good, stay. If bad, leave. That is really that simple.
I’m single and really would love to learn more about you ,hit me up when you get this
I was so naïve. My children and I still suffer mentally. I am bankrupt at the age of 62 and cannot even get a job.
Biggest mistake is getting married. No matter what you give up ALL of your power and freedom as a man. Legal system is not on a mans side.
That's why his daughter divorced.....
Please ,divorces are so necessary for so maaaany abusive, unstable, problematic families. Give us a break!!!!
Hello, I'm pretty confident nobody will ever pass by your profile without saying hello because your posts are so intriguing and your photos are so delightful. Sincerely apologize for bothering you by the way, I'd love to get to know you but we're not friends yet. Can you, indeed, send me a friend request? I attempted to send you a friend request, but it was not sent.
Generalizations, applying same to each individual is stereotyping and not logical. It really isn't stupid in every situation, and isn't always expensive.
Maybe getting married and having kids in the first place was the mistake
Yes, but something has to be done now
I separated and divorced in a peaceful way at an older age. My children were adults at the time. What kept the bond of peace with my adult children was the way I continued to respect and speak kindly of their mother. The way we divided our assets calmly and intelligently lent itself to the amicable process. Yes there was initial emotional pain but as my children saw the respectful way we separated and divorced won the day. I still think highly of my ex-wife because she’s the mother of my children. In all my married years I never yelled at nor spoke unkindly to her. She’s moved on remarried and content as I too have remarried. My family remains in tact and are the most important ppl in my life.
I have a couple of friends they have to stay in with a suffering marriage ended up dies young from cancer…Staying in a dishonest relationship is not alright.
Why start one in the first place then ?
Don't enter relationships that are dishonest..... simple really
What's worse is a toxic separation where the kids stand center as collateral damage. "Your mother is this, your daddy is that". And friendships become distorted as your allegiance to a side is in question. Divorces can be devastatingly inconsiderate
Lol...his daughter got divorced. Her market value didn't seem to have declined when she remarried.
There is a video of her talking about it. Watch it.
Very true, it's why I stayed until my oldest was 18, youngest 15. I couldn't take any more BS.
So very true, on top of that if your a friend then you can get caught up in all their drama too. However I have seen many of these folks find another spouse or boyfriend almost immediately.
Spoken like someone who doesn’t realize that co-parenting is an option and emotionally intelligent adults exist. I’m not advocating for or against divorce, but in my family’s situation, my son, my ex and I are all healthier than we would be together.
I’m single and really would love to learn more about you ,hit me up when you get this
What im hearing is "dont have children" and im down with it.
Nooo , ma’am have kids best thing that would ever happen to you just do your homework on that person, educate yourself on the DSM 5 toxic or narcissistic personality disorder, don’t be a victim to these people. Communication is key, understanding is the door . Set boundaries!!!
Meeh my parents broke up when i was 7. I switched place every week or so and we are all doing great. Way better than living in a household with shitty ambiance
In the sweet 1970's my parents got divorced. My mother let no good father off the hook, mostly, for financial responsibility. They didn't end up poor either if them. However, Guess who did?
Absolutly you can. My parents divorced When i was 5 years old. Both parents Have money, they Have jobs , and they were friends til i was 20 years old
He said the probability is very very high, not 100%
@@Luna_44. maybe the probabillity is very low. Where are the research results?
The exception is rare and actually proves the rule.
@@stanis8431 well i belive its your usa country. In my country norway lots of parents Are divorced, But usually both parents work. I Have lots of friends Who Are the Only child, me to, and also lots of friends with divorced parents. No one is out of society. And traumas - wtf Every one has them. The offer mentality has to stop. And usa start taking care of your country. Not al periode want to look like trump or Jordan family with fancy women and fancy weddings. Thats Actually more rare over in my country. In usa it just seems stiff and very konservative
"It's insanely expensive"
Me divorce with one child.
500 bucks. Best 500 I ever spent.
"Your market value will decline if you are a woman and take the kids"
Fool I'm not for sale.
Mine cost me almost $10 k. Emotionally it's hell knowing that I intentionally broke up my family and took my son's father out of the house. I didn't get married for that. It took me years to save it up. But it was money well spent when he told me he intentionally kept me broke so I couldn't leave him. He was one miserable human being.
Market value: like you said we aren't for sale but it seems I get the same attention I did before I got married almost 20 years ago.
"I'm not for sale" lol he doesn't mean it like that ffs you didn't have to pull everything out of context there
@@cee-emm it does sound like "women are for selling "
@@vickyk1861 lol yes if you completely ignore the context. When he uses the term "value" for men in the same context, I wonder how you'd try to intetpret it. So for you and others who apparently never learned comprehension , the term used is the "dating *market*". Do you see rhe word "market"? Does that mean that people are literally for sale or do you think that the term "value" in the context of "market" *may* just be the how dating is metaphorically described?
@@cee-emm What makes you think women who went through a divorce are looking to be "on the market"? Particularly if it was an abusive marriage. They are looking for peace and freedom. Of course, he DOES say "you will be poorer". Some things are more important than money, like emotional and mental health...ad safety for children.
So so true. Keep at it. Exhaust all means. Remember the love you have for each other and the care and responsibility of parenting. I messed up, I could've tried more.
Making amends where I can.
Good luck if you're in it.
Had to file for bankruptcy after my ex-wife divorced me. Had nothing, sleeping on an air mattress at my moms and had to rebuild my life from the ground up again. He's not wrong.
Every time I hear him I think I’m so grateful for my church that has taught this exact stuff from the pulpit my whole life
Na sorry, calling divorced people somehow "damaged goods"? So better sacrificing happiness just because divorce is expensive? No! Change is never easy, but you only live once!
I don't think he was speaking of it in that way, having a family is sacrificing your happiness, your happiness no longer takes priority and neither does his/hers. I believe it should default to the child but ppl are selfish in geneal
I think he's saying that divorce is not this easy fix when you have kids. You may get divorced but that person is still going to be in your life and you will have less money. Think of all the divorced people that you know who were kind of let down when they realized that the divorce didn't end all the misery and now they are being taken to court for stupid things all the time, or have to fight over someone not following the divorce decree.
Market value? I left an abusive marriage and raised a wonderful son as a single mom. The joy and pride in raising my son far outweighs any concept of market value. Poop on your head.
Wow that was your life haha really sad
Yeah, it can also leave an effect on someone like me, as someone who has been a child of divorced parents all his life.
And I’m still Single, because I’ve always had the concern that the same thing of divorce will happen to me too as it did to my parents.
I feel your pain
I wish I never got a divorce, my life is so much worse then it would have been if I had stayed.
Go back if you feel this way. Try at least
I’m single and really would love to learn more about you ,hit me up when you get this
I can add that some children starve in every way possible because parents can't stand to be wrong and drag their children through the court until the very bitter end, which has stayed gainfully busy with divorce issues in America for the last 30 years.
I believe one key to a successful marriage is for the couple to be equally yoked in Christ. Each must have a relationship with God, which comes first, then they can share love growth, and service together in a God centered marriage. I'm not saying it will be easy, because there will still be struggle. But having strong faith and biblical understanding, and a church that supports it's members, can help people work through difficult times. I attend bible study with many older married and widowed women who are in decades old marriages. They are wise, loving, and inspirational. I am blessed by their mentoring.
WELL SAID!!🙏
Yes yes and yes!
Its amazing how inspirational and joyful older couples are and they rub their love of god and practical marital love off on everyone. You just feel at peace.
We really are raised to think we should do it all alone. And im a loner myself. But doing marriage prep, meeting the old couples, and sharing gods word through it all was just transformative.
No matter what every relationship can use this. God is the binding force he is the heart and soul. And he protects marriage.
The combo of good faith in god and those older couples advice and stories makes your marriage rock solid!
@@josephvictory9536 I believe you. Since I've been attending my church, I've finally come to understand how marriage is supposed to work. And I'm finally ready to get married should the Lord will it. He's my matchmaker! And He's put a fellow in my sights that just shows how well God knows His children. My church has become the family I don't have. I absolutely love how it's changed my life.
Ok, I had 1child and he turned into a louse. It cost $40,000 to get rid of him and it was soooooo worth it. He took off and refused child support. I was terrorized by the new wife to take full custody. It worked for me.
His daughter is divorced and he officiated her second wedding, so he obviously believes it's okay some times 🤷
Oh wow
My mother was abusive so we cut all ties with her. It's been about 10 years since my dad, brother and I have spoken to her
I wonder why he's playing a lot with his wedding ring while talking about divorce.
He always does that though. It's a habit.
speaking of it, the weight he had lost is insane. that ring slid through his fingers like no problem. i’ve seen some of his older videos and he looked pretty chubby so that’s that.
He always plays with his wedding ring when talking
It's his quirk. His fans know this
Once he did infront of some woman and she thought he was hitting on her. He was so mad about it
I divorced when my kids were in HS. Yes, it affected them and they acknowledge they have things to work out. For me staying was no longer an option. He was narcissistic and after a brief separation, due to moving to another state to find work, I knew I couldn’t go back. For the kids sake, knowing what I do now, I wish I had been strong enough to leave sooner. But I also believe God allowed it to happen the way it did because I’m in a healthy loving relationship now and he has openly accepted my children (actually young men now.) He encourages them to have good relationships with both their parents while happily being the step-parent so much so he work s more/harder to be able to put one son through college (because my ex-has every excuse why they can’t help their son.) I hope my boys learn from these 2 men without me having to say anything negative. I had one big advantage, I was out of state and could get away from the abuse.
Watched this play out with my sister. No matter how bad things get, I will never get divorced after watching what she’s gone through.
He speaks with brain not emotions. 100% accurate.
Lmfao, he's got you well cucked hasn't he. All Pordan does is gaslight and crybully, he's a raging narcissist who hasn't met a human rights issue he can't virtue signal over
But we aren’t just brains. We are souls and spirit too.
Yes and the woman suffers the most while the man takes care of another man’s discarded family… allowing the initial woman to suffer more..
I appreciate JP and, it's interesting to me in this video clip addressing divorce, he's manipulating his wedding ring. Off, hold, back on, hold.
I'd be interested in his interpretation of his behavior.
I got divorced had an agreement with him to give my son a certain amount of money and he was able to take my son for the weekend and I agreed. Two months later he just didn’t come back or gave my son money. Til this day I haven’t heard from him and I prefer it that way. I don’t want to force him to see his son if he doesn’t want to. 🤷🏻♀️ I’m lucky enough to have people that help me and my husband too me in with my son. From what I’ve heard he’s been taking care of 12 kids that aren’t his and another baby he had. He needs the money more than I do. 😂
I’m single and really would love to learn more about you ,hit me up when you get this
Arranged Marriages, where real grown-ups know, love, and want to protect their children AND know their true personalities, is starting to look wiser and wiser every day.
Nahhh
@@tenacious1
I'll bet you still think marriage is all about LUUUUUUUVVVV!
Don't you?
Or, save yourself the trouble of the whole societal expectation thing; don't marry, don't have children.
Worked for me. 😁
@Cameron Pangborn Oh yes, peace and solitude and freedom and money in the bank is just so overrated.
Jealous much? 😏
(54 and no regrets) 😎
I tried to explain this to my ex when she left me alone with three young children. Ever since then she has worked hard to destroy our lives utilizing various methods in order to self-enable her cliche' delusion of victimization.
Glad you broke up.
Children grow🤷🏾♀️
Peace of mind over everything
It did wreck my life temporarily. However, I overcame because of God. I recommend not getting married unless you understand that love is a verb, not a noun. I also recommend looking up the word sacrifice. If you aren’t willing to give up your life for the sake of your spouse and children please don’t get married.
God doesn't exist its a fictional construct people use as an excuse for when they do know something but want want sound authoritive, and when they want to judge someone. Kind of like like Jeterson the Jesuit
Oh, and we don't get that choice now fascists have made that call for everyone
Maybe sacrifice for the kids, but not the spouse.
@@markwashington8415 ha-ha!
@@uncannyvalley2350 that's stupid.
It's interesting how he judges the value of a person or their life based on their financial status.
I got divorced, and honestly, the fact we didn’t have kids made it so much easier.
He is right in the most common nature of humanity..However some of us saw the writing on the wall and fought to create a lucrative future for ourselves and our former partners...The goal is to have an engaged parent on the otherside and some of us have fought very hard to cement that position for our opposite parent..
Many of our troubles are caused by selfishness. If someone could make a vax for selfishness, that would be great.
We have it. It's called Gods Love. It makes you a better person that is generous instead of selfish but people want to be good on their own and separate from others and that's just silly.
@@NateChillinShow Yep, having gratitude helps, too.
Need a body reading expert. He’s pulling his wedding ring up (almost off) and down repeatedly as he talks about the problems associated with divorce.
He does that all the time
I beat the odds. Thank god!
So glad I got married at 22 and divorced at 24. Short, sharp, nasty experience that all things considered I came off practically unscathed. Never again. I feel bad for the blokes who get divorced in the 30s and above. Building wealth for over a decade for it to be ripped out from under you and kids taken away.
Divorce is good in certain situation specially if staying in marriage will make you poor and in debt, like gambling, alcoholic….
I'll take poor & finally happy over keeping the terrible relationship...
Truth it happened to me ,and I will tell you it is FRICKING horrible. For my kid her mom and me. :(
I'd rather be broke and happy than miserable with money any day.
While explaining he pulls his ring 🤔
😂He almost got suspended for doing that while in session with a patient who construed the "ring pulling" as Jordan being "ready to cheat" on his wife with her (the patient).
Cause that’s what he does all the time. It’s his quirk
@@nasir_esco where did you learn that?
@@proudatheist2042 He said so in one podcast a few years back
Definitely better off now. Finally getting out of debt. Have a great relationship. I would definitely recommend picking a good initial spouse but to say divorce is a stupid idea after kids is simply not true.
Spoken like a man whose never been in the hell of a toxic relationship. I won’t wish that on anyone but his opinion isn’t very valuable without that experience
Jordan Peterson is a clinical psychologist and has dealt with people like this during his entire career. It is so unbelievably strange how you people think opinions and experience work in this day and age. No wonder none of you ever learn anything. Since we're assuming things, you've likely lent a helping hand in the toxicity, as well.
If you're ever having thoughts about walking away, just remember these words. If you are simply discontent or annoyed or bothered, it's not worth walking away. You can suck it up and put up with a lot of stuff, and if you try you can put up with it your whole life. If she's not screwing around on you and she loves your children and treats you with at least some measure of respect, it's not worth walking away and hurting your children that way. You might feel triumphant in the moment, and you might feel the freedom in the moment, but you will have broken something that can't be fixed