Why You Keep Stalking Your Horrible Ex's Social Media
Вставка
- Опубліковано 23 січ 2023
- 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: bit.ly/4dRI8Sj
Come See Me In Person! Workshops in US, UK: bit.ly/49rzM0Z
Do You Have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: bit.ly/3GhE65z
FREE COURSE: *The Daily Practice*: bit.ly/3X1BrE0
Website: bit.ly/3CxgkRY
***
It’s easy to see the mistake when other people do it. But when you’re the one who got dumped and mistreated, and it makes you cling harder to this person, it feels like somehow, confronting, stalking, tolerating more bad treatment will somehow open this person’s heart.It doesn’t work that way.This is how CPTSD can be so devastating. You develop this intense tolerance for unacceptable behavior. The need to get the love you never had dominates your perception. All you see is that there's hope. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who wants to see reality and change her life at last.
***
🟢 Letters: Want to submit a question for me to answer in a video?
Keep it short, not too explicit, relevant for this audience.
bit.ly/3VVxqjm
🟢 Become a Member!
Access ALL my courses, webinars, group coaching & online community
bit.ly/3Zfx9dN
🟢 Take My Online course: Healing Childhood PTSD
bit.ly/3k6gQQH
🟢 How I Recently Lost 27 Pounds: ble.life/V9fe9O
🟢 Change Trauma-Driven Dating Patterns
Online course: Dating & Relationships for People with CPTSD
bit.ly/3IBbrv7
🟢 Learn to Heal Dysregulation
Online course: Dysregulation Bootcamp
bit.ly/3ZpjGAh
🟢 Heal Isolation and Build Better Relationships
Online course: Connection Bootcamp
bit.ly/3iuUEPz
🟢 Coaching Programs & LIVE Calls with Anna
🔹 NEW Coaching Program for DATING: Apply Now: bit.ly/3Qjdozs
🔹 8-Week Coaching Intensive for Healing CPTSD Symptoms: bit.ly/3wjVVjg
🔹 Join LIVE Webinars with My Team and Me: bit.ly/3ifhJ8U
🟢 PARTNERS/RECOMMENDED PRODUCTS
(I receive commissions on referrals & recommend services I know and trust)
🔹 Is Carb Sensitivity Sabotaging Your Energy and Weight? Take the Quiz:
ble.life/V9fe9O
🔹 NEED ONLINE THERAPY? BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist:
betterhelp.com/CCF
🔹 Try MUSE Headband to Calm Your Mind: choosemuse.com/ccf
While blocking can seem extreme or harsh, I think that younger generations are trying to re-establish the natural boundaries that used to exist before the internet and social media era. People used to be able to disconnect from someone in real life and not have to think about encountering them or having the details of their life shared with that person unless they happened to run into them in the store or crossed paths with them at school or a social event. Being connected on social media completely removes that, so you are forever conscious of all the people you were ever connected to, whether you want to be or not. I think it’s healthier to be able to disconnect. I haven’t blocked anyone, but I deactivated my FB for similar reasons-even having people from grade school and high school perpetually in my consciousness just began to feel a bit stifling.
What an insightful comment! I’ve often thought about how lucky I am that social media and smartphones didn’t exist when I was young. At least the bullying I was subjected to ended when school let out for the day. I had a reprieve from it at night, but kids and teens today can be bullied 24/7.
I think this comment is absolutely brilliant!
This is sooo true! I ended up unfollowing a guy who was very similar to the one in this video. He didn’t lie about his 2 marriages though, but when I think back, he was really disrespectful in how he treated me with no respect when he would so obviously ogle other women when out on “dates” with me, to the point of actually trying to get their attention and smile at them. Always adding women on social media and liking all of their pictures yet never gave me a single compliment… although when we were out, other people would actually come up to us and compliment me.
Then without empathy when I finally tried to get some clarification on the relationship status and he said he didn’t want anything committed yet (I know I should’ve asked sooner). Though I had been there for him for companionship, affection, sex, fun, a free therapist about his marriage and about his anxiety disorder
Yet when I broke down one night when drunk (I didn’t message him, he messaged me and made a joke at my expense)… I didn’t take it well and said “I’m just struggling tonight” and his response was “what’s that got to do with me having a joke” - and it ended up in me lashing out about feeling used becasue I could see the lack of empathy
If roles were reversed and he were struggling, I would’ve gone “oh my gosh, are you ok?! What’s happening” - or even if I had a friend I would do that - he claimed to be my “friend” but there was no understanding.
I was then punished with silent treatment and “it better not happen again” after that, so basically I allowed myself to be manipulated into being silent about my emotions and needs, and just being a good “fwb” to see if I could myself to him as to whether or not I was just worth committing to
Anyway. I ended up unfollowing; so I could move on and grieve. It wasn’t about malice, it was about moving on without seeing his face even accidentally.
I call it "crumbs from the table". Your little starving inner child got some crumbs of 'love' and attention. She will wait around - in an unconscious mode- for more, even though shes not REALLY satisfied with the relationship. She just hopes , like the child she once was.
Becoming a conscious Adult who provides for her own inner child is the only solution i see. Continually grasping for it externally just draws more of the same.
😢 so true. I completely understand and relate.
Great description 'crumbs from the table',
This is the ONE thing I REFUSE to do bc it absolutely crushed me when I looked on his Facebook page after we broke up and I saw he married someone else 😓 after staring at their pics in utter disbelief, I immediately blocked his page and his wife's page bc I knew right then and there that I would NOT be able to handle seeing anymore posts of them together.. it took **everything** in me not to lose my mind.. God is good 🙏🏽💗
I can relate going through this now it hurts so much but i hv to suck it up i guess but its heartbreaking to see 😢
"Hope is our dope." - So true! 😭
“You learned to be an ahole from mom?!!” - who didn’t😂😂😂😂
I’m always astonished by the level of deception perpetrated by some people and the ability of so many of us to “crap fit.” I’ve talked more than once on this channel about my ex-partner, who cheated on me for the last seven years of our 20-year relationship, a fact that wasn’t confirmed until he ended things, although I suspected. He ended up marrying this woman, but for the first year after we broke up, he said that I was still the perfect woman for him and that he wanted to be alone so that he could “work on himself and become a better person for me.” He didn't mean a word of it, and if I had possessed a single shred of self-esteem, I would have seen through the deception. This guy played Kayla because manipulators and con men tune into our vulnerability just like cheetahs pick out the sickly antelope on the Serengeti.
you should be a writer. the last line of your post is wonderfully written.
@@FriendofDorothy Thank you! That’s really nice of you to say, Steven. ☺️
Well said.
So sorry for your experience.
Been through this enough. We limerents avoid, avoid, AVOID: (1) deciding what we want; (2) directly stating what we want; (3) asking direct questions; (4) listening clearly to the answers; and (5) questioning the answers ("What do you MEAN by 'relationship? What does that look like to you?"), and (6) taking the answers seriously as to whether they come anywhere near what we want and need. We're master "crap-fitters," as you say. "I'm a serial killer." (He's had a rough time, he'll mellow out) "I've only got every other Thursday at 9PM for you." (He's put me on his calendar, he cares!) Etc.
block block block and forget .People I know it is hard . helping friends do it now . there is hope and movement forward !
Damn !!! It’s like you know ALL my problems, limerence, feeling like an outsider, issues with pretty much all my relationships, having CPTSD, procrastination as a result of child abuse, being driven by a desperate need to fill the void of motherly love with anything and now being hope addicted . If only UA-cam had existed 10 years earlier.
Yes, that "hopium" (hanging on to hope) is like a drug. We try to soothe the rejection and abandonment wounds from childhood by any means necessary. I have always been confused about relationships with men - are they just being nice, do they want a real relationship, do they just want casual sex, friends w/benefits, etc. Sometimes it is just better if we step back, get alone with God, and work on ourselves. We can see much more clearly by avoiding outside influences.
Another awesome vid, Ms. Anna! Thank you so much for your great wisdom.
Hopium 😂 hahaa😄, what a perfect term for jt! I love analogies, it makes it easier to understand the problem.
I was brought up as a Roman Catholic (fundamental Christian, exorcisms, mass and prayers in Latin, rosary sessions, fasting etc.( and I think that explains part of mfy addiction to 'hopium' as you put it so well, and the fact that I was trained for 'sacrifice and suffeirng', as my mother put it ('You must learn Sacrifice and Suffering'). When people treat me badly (love interests, employers, landlords...) I look on it as a test, and tell myself that if I pass the test, they will reward me... and that if they carry on treating me badly, it means that I haven't suffered enough to 'deserve' them. I am working to deconstruct those incorrect notions (Pete Walker was a great help, with his 'fawn' concept) but I am in my late 40s now, and have cancer, so I don't know whether I'll ever have a healthy relationship... except if I get a cat or a dog, but I'm renting, so that's not possible...
Doesn't sound like a mature, caring person. Does sound like a rude, disrespectful, manipulative liar though.
Just heard a podcast about dopamin release due to the *anticipation* in this context.. it is really a neurotransmitter release pattern that keeps you addicted to it. Understanding that made me realise the seriousness of something so "banal" as looking on their social media 🥴
Great comment - thank you :)
YES. Dopamine is great for us as long as we are getting it in constructive ways that benefit us overall. Use search term "healthy ways to increase dopamine fast" - there's so much information out there! And the bottom line is:
Exercise, nutrition, and sleep almost always top the lists. Why? All three of those things in concert with each other work around the clock together to enable us to stabilize our natural internal support systems. Healthy dopamine-increase methods also often serve us well in the form of increased serotonin levels. 💜
Wow! This is so accurate. TY!
Which podcast please?
@@Notmyr3alname It's Louise Rumbal "The openhouse podcast" The episode was about the neurology of break ups.
Yep. He didn't consider the 8 months of dating as a real - and he might not consider any dating relationship as real. Meantime, you're looking for someone to share your heart and soul. Nope. It's just a bunch of disappointments past, present and future. God bless your journey forward.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate you roll playing what to say and how to tell someone that they hurt you. This is something I struggle with doing irl and instead find myself playing out these scenarios in my head -- likely because it wasn't safe for me to do so growing up. It makes me feel like I'm not wrong for wanting to express myself in that way and gives me some guidance
I muted them and I’m not gonna check it anymore. Seeing their new relationship just drove me nuts. No more of that! Focusing on my goals
same! I's so hard but necessary
Wish I would’ve heard this in 2008 when I spent a lot of time doing this! 😂 Married 11 years now to a great man. Looking back, I realized he left so I could find my dream man. 👍
I love u & ur honesty Anna! Tough love is so necessary for clarity. I crave it. My family was always pretending. "Everything's fine, don't talk about it." And I applied that to every part of my life. I never heard the word boundaries applied to life until I was in my 30's and it helped me tremendously! Tough love & reality is so freeing! Thank u❣️ love to u!
I'm not doing this, she's blocked. The ruminations are enough to endure.
I was going to write to you, but now I don't need to. Folks, if someone is ambiguous and vague, they're lying. To quote one of my authors, Aphrodite Jones, "If it doesn't make sense, IT ISN'T TRUE!" Get out when you find out about the first lie.
I used to live by feral cats who would crawl into my engine when my car was parked for warmth and sometimes when I'd start the car theyd be caught in the wheels and killed. That's what Limerence feels like. You want genuine warmth but you're up against an oven. Tragic.
Oh, heartbreaking, but true.
"Well who didn't?!" bahahahaha I almost lost my bite of oatmeal
I can't believe it, as I was just doing this 2 hours ago. I just now got on UA-cam on my phone and this was posted. It's been 2 years since our breakup and it still hurts very bad.
The fact that I’m dealing with the same issue, every detail match …. I pray that we heal, this is so hard.
Thank you for making these video’s. I wish I knew this years earlier. I am healing now, but I know I need to watch these kind of video's to keep myself on a higher state of mind. It feels like someone is there for me and I am not the only one fighting. I really appreciate your content and the way you deliver it: clean, rational, positive 🤗
Can you do a video on being ghosted from a long term partner and the impact on the person abandoned? The grief and trauma associated? Having a hard time moving on and even more so in this middle age place in life
I have been ghosted from a long term partner and would love a video very specific to that exact trauma you describe. I hope you write her a letter.
She’s given all the info you need. They did it, it’s sad, you gotta move on. Get friends, go out, and fake a smile until it’s real. Those moments when you crying your ass off, you gotta stop yourself
I hear you sister. Same here and I am 3 years in trying to heal. I am 54.
Trauma of being ignored/ghosted is deep. Also trauma of betrayal. Especially for codeps.
Step by step...
I feel like she has done a video in this, if I’m not mistaken. Or maybe it was Matthew Hussey.
this is such a specific pain and I went through it in 2021. I’m better now, but good god did it destroy me and my self worth.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. The grief from it is insane and very real. Felt like a death for me. Hang in there ✊🏻
From everything you explained he's a Narcissist.
I just don't like sneaky. If they sneaked doing one thing they'll sneak doing something else. I stumbled into one of these situations myself and just a small defense in my behavior was he gave just enough to make me think it was a possibility I think they know what they're doing. I now too know what they're doing it would never happen to me again. It's going to have to be transparency or nothing for me
He has behaviors indicating high pathology….run and go no contact.
In my journey, I have developed a firm boundary, a healthy boundary, being that ONE lie is all that I need to exit. You just need one.
Sounds like my narcissist ex. Won't go in to details but he keeps trying to come back. I realized that I am in love with the three months guy. The first three months that he comes back , he is the perfect match. But I realize it's not real and I moved on .
I’m always fascinated by the three month rule. It seems a lot of narcissists can’t hold up the act longer than that and that’s when they start to display who they really are. I experienced that too.
I think we need to have a next level "Crap fit" word...SH$T fit. 😬 I've certainly done that before 😆
Yeah he’s cheating on both of you. I won’t confront him. Just fade away. He is lying and will always lie. Trust your gut, hard to do. There are better people out there. Trust it
Anxious-avoidant dynamic. The worst and most painful thing that an emotionally open and needing CPTSD sufferer can experience...
Yup!
@@AbiJC That was a heartfelt reply from someone who obviously experienced it, am guessing more than once... hugs, x
@@russellsreflection yeah unfortunately I have a few times. It's soooo painful! Hugs to you too x
Absolutely and often this is also an empath-narcissist dynamic.
@@lindseymarie321 There is often a crrelation I think, between avoidants and narcissistic tendencies. I think too much is made of ripping anxious attached and empaths apart, claiming they are covertly manipulative. Why would they not be, in a vain attempt to create a positive basis, when there is so much abuse in their relationships? In a strategy to make things work, their emotions become enmeshed and they attempt to influence their abuser.
What do you call when you have no hope. What Ive found in relationships is men and women that have issues with women and mostly their mothers. I had a great mother that was abused by her husband and I had patterns of relationship the same. I have no desire to hook up, date, remarry...nothing. Maybe that's what happens when you finally get totally fed up with all of it lol.
You are amazing, the clarity is painful, but a blessing. Thank you, thank you, thank you 💜
I don’t think she should talk to him. There is no closure needed. He’s already showed her he’s a liar. That’s all you need to know. Best of luck dear Kayla!
Absolutely agree. It's making herself vulnerable Again for lies and bad treatment, and then what "if hw sais the truth" - there will be some reason to let him back in her life?!
This! 100%.
This is the classic narcissist story which is played out time and time again. This man had no intention of ever being a partner to her. I’d love it if Anna could do more on this topic as there are a lot of people out there with CPTSD who have had “relationships” with narcissists and it’s like a drug withdrawal escaping from the emotional abuse.
Narcissist or just a typical lying jerk.
I agree and suspect my own ex is a legit, textbook narcissist...this story is eerily similar to mine and I feel very common. It made me sick to my stomach to realize my own story was such a pathetic one, but I needed to hear this and felt like Anna was talking directly to me.
You are absolutely amazing with the great help you provide. Thank you a thousand times for all you do!
Hi Anna- I love everything you say. So right on! We all need the tough love. Thank you.
As a court reporter it's easy enough to find out online or by calling the clerk with the case number to find out the case status
?
Great advice once again Anna. Listening to you really helps affirm good boundaries. I will say though that my ex was a pathological liar, and I know it can depend on the person, but if someone has a history of excessively lying to you about several different things, I would absolutely not expect the truth from them. The type of person that really normalizes lying, saying whatever they need to to manipulate you and get what they want, who doesn’t see any inherent value in the truth, who lives a double life as their norm, that isn’t going to change without them going through a therapy process and recognizing they have a problem. If they’ve shown over and over that they’re a liar and even a gaslighter, that’s what they are. Even if they tell the truth they will tell it because they believe it gets them something or else they’ll tell it in a way that favours them. So I would not suggest that this person try and get the truth from him. I think that continues an unhealthy hope or not facing reality. She needs to see that his behavior really, really wasn’t acceptable period, and she doesn’t need to know the full truth of why he did his behavior to know that.
I had that one. The guy who tells you he's divorced twice with 2 children from the first marriage, when he's divorced 3 times, with a 3rd child from the 3rd marriage (the most recent one!). Then you find out that he's dating multiple other women besides you.
There's so much to learn by these letters and answers, it's so interesting and relatable. It's incredible what we are willing to put up with to not feel lost in the world..
Regarding lying about his age on the dating site .. I believe a certain dating site profile questionnaire allows you to pick the age range you'd prefer to date. However the algorithm doesnt care & only shows you profiles who you are a "match" for.
You will not match you with anyone if there's greater than a 15 year age difference, regardless of what either person selected as their preference. So he probably made a new profile with a fake age, in order to "match" with younger women.
EEW!!!
Kayla's 'guy' is only looking for benefits without the relationship. He is just seeking back-up supply. RUN AWAY!!
You really made this video for me today.
The CC Fairy most definitely understands limerence. Great video!
To see that he's suffering. That's it. I just want to know he faced some consequences and social media is the quickest way to find out. It's all just bitterness really, but confined to the safety and privacy of my phone.
me too! I check him out online, hoping to see confirmation that his working life is going bonkers, and he is suffering in the area of his life he is very keen about. it feels like a sweet revenge. I know I shouldn't even be doing that, but it makes me feel better if I see him suffer 🙁
Thank you 🙏 and you have great sense of humor I enjoy your comments on these videos
I was stalked by my horrible exes, though not on social media since I generally don’t do it (with certain exceptions). Know the signs:
1. Love Bombing. When they send you an excessive amount of correspondence from phone calls to emails, messages, mail, etc., often changing in mood of angry/demanding to friendly/sweet.
2. Excessive gifting. They tend to give the target numerous and often expensive gifts, or large and frequent quantities of money.
3. Emotional Blackmail. Often used to manipulate the target, they threaten self harm or self termination. Other times they threaten the target with violence or death.
4. Tale-spinning. They often try to retail the target with either stories to invoke sympathy such as claiming to have cancer, or try to impress their target by claiming to be very well-to-do and often making empty promises to the target (ie if the target is in showbiz, they will tell the target they know producers or directors that can get them casting roles).
Also, they will resort to harming/killing small animals and sending them to the target as a threat, destroy property of the target, dox them online, and find other forms of terrorizing their target. Be safe and recognize the signs.
From the letter only, I got a feeling this man has never been divorced, maybe never even really intended to...
At 18:50 - Anna, thank you for clearly stating an example of what this author could say. This was the most helpful portion of the video for me.
I was married for 38 years. I left 3 years ago and I don’t know if I’ll ever heal.
I was married for 44 years. I left 8 years ago. The journey has been one of thousands of layers... of awakening.. of tremendous anguish but letting in everything that made me , everything that I repressed... my education especially from Sam Vaknin, on line, about just how twisted my x was. You will HEAL. You will (maybe) thank the universe that you are free and have unbelievable clarity. When you become indifferent towards him, you will know yourself, like you have never imagined. Trust yourself.
"Well who didn't? " 😆 Exactly!
All true, but my special person never said open words like "sorry, I can't"....This would have helped me a lot.
My SP gave mixed signals, was in and out of my life and always looked so deep into my eyes, that I felt love but in reality was sucking out my soul.
Finally I got enough distance to start healing....it's getting better day by day.
I needed this video. Thank you both.
I came across you by accident and you are in the process of changing my life. Thank you.
Welcome to the Fairy community!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I will never know about even a fraction of the lies my ex told me. I needed to accept that I would never get the truth or good treatment. But that god has better for me far far away.
Serious question: I am curious as to why you’re having kayla have a final discussion? She knows he’s shady, she knows about the double life. Why does she have to have a whole ass talk? As you said, he’a immature, she doesn’t owe him anything… she knows what it is. what makes this distinct from other instances when you recommend that the person should just end contact and not announce it?
I agree with you.....the way I heard it was that Anna was saying that if she absolutely felt like she needed to wrap that up officially to have that talk. I understood it that Anna didn’t recommend it tho, what do you think?
@@number1fan19 i took anna as suggesting that she have a final talk “in person if possible” were her words. But your interpretation makes sense as well. 🤷🏽♀️
Either way, anna in the past has made it clear to other letter writers in a similar position to NOT announce their departure… so i am really just curious of her thought process…
@@deez4evs ok I guess I might mean a different part of the email? I just remember her saying that if she really felt that she needed to have some type of close....I agree with you tho that she needs to stay away silently, it’s clear he doesn’t want her. I hope she picks up what’s left of her dignity and moves on, but I have been there and hate hearing her pain in this email...
@@number1fan19 same! It is so easy in theory but in real life it sucks..…she knew she needed to end it but sometimes we need just need someone to snap us out of the spell
Just block and move on .
You cant get truth out of a liar. Dont waste time or energy on the drama of it.
“You learned to by nasty from your mom, well - who didn’t…” 😂😂LOLZZZZZZ
The man sounds like he's seeing both the wife and the younger woman. He's saying what she wants to hear while unable to end things w wife because they are still together.
Hmmm I needed this ty
Thanks this was so helpful!
I'm so happy to hear that! -Calista@TeamFairy
Not content related, but I love your new hair style!
no contact and social media is ruining my life after the breakup tbh
Some people are not “marked” because we’ve been divorced more than once. We have made mistakes thinking people really loved us and they were honest. People use people. And many of us are slow to get realistic about that.
Well, there are indeed people who use people, but the way you said it is so general that makes the statement false. It also makes impossible to find someone decent, if "using" is your default expectation. Being aware of the dangers of life and succumb to transactional relationships are not the same thing. Everyone can have something better, even without a romantic partner.
@@Dan_Chiron the statement is not false. There are many narcissistic evil people that are only in relationships for what they can get out of them. Give benefit of the doubt? Sure. Been there done that. Stay in relationships where people lie deceive and throw ya under the bus. Sure. Go ahead. It’s all your choice.
It's astounding how often we women fall for the manipulations of dudes wanting booty and nothing more.
I could've written this a few years ago and I still haven't quite healed even though he's been blocked for ages. These people are so cruel - they will keep sending their "happy Friday" messages not even for sex but just for validation and to stop you moving on. Ugh
If a guy dumps n blocks you from everywhere
It puts you in toxic cycle of stalking them non stop using ur fake ig
Its like an addiction
Like any addiction u get withdrawals when u stop getting the supply
Its same with love n romance
You need to switch off ur phone everytime u get tempted to stalk them or get urge
N go in nature
No cellphone
There will be no temptation to stalk them
Was his name Brett by any chance ? Hah😂
Seems like when he said that he would stop talking to her if he sent the divorce papers, it was the same thing as when he said he stopped talking to her, because she called him selfish. Both are just built in excuses to walk away from her when he feels like it, which basically means he planned on walking away from her completely anyway at some point. It's like a precursor to eventual abandonment. Not that he is thinking that far ahead, but his current behavior and absurd excuses to stop talking to her is consistent with that outcome if she gets too involved with him.
Doesn't sound like an ex-wife to me... also I have heard this kind of non-connection described in the letter called a "situationship" many times
He is windowshopping.
Dear Anna - unrelated question. Your necklace and earrings: are they jade or turquoise? Thanks!
Man oh man Anna, ain’t no crap in this fairy!!! Effin love you 🤗
14': 'I'll be honest with you and tell you: I think he just wants sex'. Thank you Anna! I wish I had a friend like you in real life!
You should do a TED talk, aimed at mental health care, to acknowledge and recognize emotional flashbacks specifically. They’re not even accurately described in the ICL-11. As if cptsd is ‘just’ ‘ptsd+’. It’s not. Maybe together with Pete Walker and Bessel vd Kolk. Don’t think you not being a psychologist matters. If anything, it helps (me).
I have been in a very similar relationship with someone like this for 5 months and it took me three years to get over. I would say that this writer is not talking to somebody very manipulative and user most likely, but also a psychologically unstable person. I am betting on a covert narcissist in this case. The right thing would have been not to get involved with this guy in the first place, being divorced twice is a huge warning flag as well as all other lies. I am not sure if any kind of closure with this guy is a good thing, I would just ignore him and not give him an ounce of energy. The reason why you might be so hooked up in him could also be that you desperately want a happy and healthy relationship and to have someone on your side. He was probably very good at the live bombing stage and probably idealized you and promised you all sorts of things including bright future and marriage. I think you might be also hanging on some kind of hope that he will change, seek therapy and get his own shit together. He is full of shit and I think the only thing that will help you is absolutely no contact with him because any additional contact will just confuse you even more and make you question your own reality. Get on antidepressants if you have to, go to 12-step meetings and even more away if there is a chance you might even see him, definitely block his phone numbers and even e-mail
First I realized I suffer limmerance (sp). But now I see it in many movies I love, Bob Dylan's Blood on the Tracks.. I didn't know I was feeding "it" just by unconscious choice too.
Whew .. listening to this vid cuz..I'm hungry for real, healthy, tools that Work.
My ex had a UA-cam channel where he produced content. (I think everyone on YT has a channel, but we don't all produce content... but I'm not sure if that's how it works.) He got kicked off YT, and was using another platform. I checked it occasionally, curious about his outlook and opinions. He hasn't posted anything in awhile, and I'm wondering if something tragic happened to him... perhaps karma caught up with him.
Tv 📺 doesn’t help with sitcoms were they always work it out.
Do you have any videos on healing from hope-dope? Hope can intoxicating but as i try to navigate myself from THAT TYPE of hope, my world is small and hopeLESS. Everytime I get hopeful I cant tell if its a fantasy or if im trying to live bigger. Forward progress has led me to a new level where i feel confused and stuck.
Oh my god how’d she know
Question 🙋♀️: when I guy doesn’t take no for an answer is it part of this?
Tell him leave me the hell alone or I'm calling the cops!!.. Maybe quit the job too and go on unemployment for a while while you heal in a 12 step group while you look for a new job .
Just say no to hopium
I keep trying 2 rewrite the Past
The word trauma is overused these days. People need to stop overuse it.
Sounds like you listen to GWAR! They are excellent music for Shadow work.
The title of the video 🙃
Hop-ium
💙
Obviously, him being an older man thinks she is a dumb shit all the way around. You nailed it fairy…..no respect. He shows up when it suits him…just for the “young stuff”.
And he acts like a 12 year old!!
Are you in my head? 😲 😮 🤭
I have run into many scurrilous and disordered people over my lifetime and the ones to really watch out for, as they are potentially dangerous, very ill, or even criminal, often have little or no up to date internet presence. It is very hard to keep your story straight on the internet. Yes do look before, but not after. Just be glad they have passed.
I don't have any social media, does that mean I'm dangerous? 🤔
TBH I've realized that most of it is a complete waste of time and I will only set up a social media to accomplish a specific goal. For example, I will set up a LinkedIn when I need to get a job but I will only read and respond to job postings and nothing else.
@@Iudicatio I have run into a lot of decent people who try and use social media very little, but I have found in my own life that having a business and social life almost require it. The people I am talking about have pretty much zero and with some of them, unfortunately, I got to know them well enough to find out why.
@Hugh Reitan Hmmm yeah...for me I mostly meet people at a regular time at the same place, so I don't really need social media. Obviously sometimes I make plans that differ from that but then I text that person.
I think social media is unhealthy and a waste of time. I am also concerned about my privacy and security. I try to keep the smallest online presence possible.
Or they can't be arsed to deal with it. Or they don't need that "look at me" stimulation. Or or or there is a million reasons. Personally I find most people on Facebook SO annoying or holier than thou that i can't stand it. I don't need "likes' to know I am relevant.
I think she is under-reacting 😅 please delete him from your life. Please! The fact that you are asking the very questions like “should I stop talking to him” and “is he holding me back” is your answer.
When you have the right person, you wouldn’t be asking these questions 🤍
Wish I would’ve heard this in 2008 when I spent a lot of time doing this! 😂 Married 11 years now to a great man. Looking back, I realized he left so I could find my dream man. 👍