I’m soooo relieved to hear this. I didn’t realise it is called a shutdown. I learned over the last 8 years that the only way to cope at certain times is to have what I call, a catch up. I would withdraw to my bedroom and sleep, sleep, sleep. I’d get up at all hours of the day and night, eat, then back to bed. It could be for up to three days. Then I’d wake up at some point and feel refreshed and happy; like nothing had happened. My poor, confused husband also learned that it was the best thing for me to do and he goes with the flow. He’ll even advise me, at times, to go catch-up, and he’s always right. Bless him. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
@@miriammaldonado7848 - Thanks. It took a few years to figure it out, but I’m fortunate hubby tried his best to ‘get me’. He survived my breakdowns and meltdowns. I’m generally on an even keel for much of the time these days, and I owe that mostly to him and his patience. 🥰
@@otakus1216 - I LOVE that. Yes indeed, it is kinda like a mini hibernation. I’m going to use that terminology from now on, it fits perfectly. Thanks 🥰
I'm a music nerd, so my main triggers are emotional songs... Sometimes it's useful to be able to power cry it out and then be able to sleep properly, but it often stops me being able to function if I accidentally listen to one I shouldn't. Eg. Last week a German friend sung (on Smule) Noch Ein Leben by Pur - I didn't know it was about suicide or I wouldnt have listened, let alone translated it - and the rest of the day was a write-off. I don't often watch films; when I do it's comedy only nowadays. I also stopped watching the news - I'll only read up on the BIG headlines - as it was too much for me... Having extreme empathy can be amazing or a living hell.
Songs were made to enjoy, to listen, to dance. Those were the days... I dislike rapers lyrics full of violence... Etc.etc., and songs like the one you aforementioned. Enjoy life and its beautiful nature❤
@@miriammaldonado7848 it wasn't violent; more of a "why did you do it?!" song... It caught me off guard as I've known a few people who've done it. I think there's definitely still a time and a place for these sad songs, and I even enjoy some rap music (the kind with carefully crafted lyrics that make you think, as opposed to all the b*itches and bling rubbish). I listen to and attempt to sing all different genres.
Hello again, Hannah. I relate to what you say. I can’t watch many genres of films/programs as I become deeply absorbed, like I’m right there but invisible. Much too painful to bear and it can render me useless. 🥰
Someone below mentioned anxiety shutdowns. That happens to me! At very bad times. Very stressful times. One of the worst was outside the court room (divorce/child custody hearing) and my ex's attorney was asking me questions. I was so scared and nervous that i could not speak beyond "I guess so," or "I don't know." My brain just froze up. I know she thought there was something seriously wrong with me. (There was!) I had a lawyer with me from Family Services who was an angel. He guided me through hell and back out that day. What a nightmare!!! That was 20 yrs ago and it still hurts.
I'm so confused with my online bf. He has aspergers. Months we been chatting, then 2 weeks ago he had stress at home. And he literally won't message or even reply! Like he reads my messages, but can't even say a word. I don't understand it still! Id rather he just tells me too never message again! Than totally ignore me. I guess watching this, makes me think il just leave him in his own world.
To be honest. Seeing this video makes me understand my own autism shutdowns. But I usually don't even tell others. Since I don't want to be. So called. Attention seeker.
I usually have my worst shutdowns when I am alone and I have a hard time explaining to people why I am late or have not done the things I was supposed to. I now have a title for what I am going through, but people still will not understand even if I told them, so I just apologize and accept that I will look bad, because I think why bother to try. I would think my aunt might understand because she is trained to work with kids with autism, but she really does not want to try to understand. Which is really frustrating, especially if she is having a rough day and is behind and I am expected to be ok and understanding with it.
I get depressed from time to time because there have been so many changes at work, and had to train 3 different new people in the span on two weeks! And, just when I mastered a system of how to get my tasks done, suddenly I don't have anyone to help me with the cleaning duties. My anxiety has gone up, and there are people in my life who seem to want to cling to me, and it all makes me anxious. I just want it all to get resolved soon and have things become more predictable in my day-to-day life.
Thank you for this video. My girlfriend of 2.5 years was just recently diagnosed, and even though we've been happy and fine, she suddenly left last week saying she needed space and it was "all just too much and she's overwhelmed". Could this be a shutdown?
Thanks for this video. I discovered I'm on the spectrum within the last couple of months (at age 45!) and you have definitely helped me along the way. I don't harm myself during meltdowns but I think that still qualifies. Doesn't it? The anger just pours out and you feel kind of raw and fragile for while after. But shutdowns -- I definitely know what that's like -- and I haven't heard it talked about on UA-cam before.
Hey, great vid. Your vids help me with my son. He's 14 and on the spectrum. He loves being social but doesn't know how to do it. He's getting much better though but still struggles with not interrupting/intruding. Long rd, but we're getting there.
I go to concerts occasionally. When I go I normally ask if they have seating for disabled people because they are monitored more. I quite often say something when I buy tickets.
I did not understand what happens to me until I understood shut downs and melt downs. Now I understand , I do not think I'm a bad person .Irresponsible in nature and defective in character any more. I have Autism and know it is the next stage in human evolution.
Feelings are too much for me. Autistic finding now that I'm old. Trauma, PTSD. I've always burned bridges too. I've also took on a more masculine role instead of a female. I did men's jobs but dressed like a woman. I couldn't date a man unless he was structured. I'm a loner. I've tried to change Arrogant and narcissist upbringing and relatives the ones that are around are to hard to deal with. Thank you
Idk if this was a shutdown or not But at one assembly we had two boys one playing guitar and one playing the drums and a ton of screaming and claping and light right into my eyes. It got to a point where i just close my eyes and covered my ears and just kinda waited for it to stop I felt like i was mentally or physically idk tired after it i got my calm friend just needed sombody.
I've had a shutdown and I couldn't talk or function at all for a whole year it was almost as if I had moved to level 3 on the spectrum (but that can't happen naaaa nervous chuckle) anyway that was the darkest part of my life. Now I almost feel like it's happening again in the past week I've had 10 meltdowns daily and I can't really communicate properly (one of the reasons I feel like I'm withdrawing from the world around. Apart from that I don't have a clue. (Sorry for the long post if anyone reads this) 😭😭😥😭😭
Dude, this doesn't really happen to me. I'm okay in crowds and when I'm getting confused by lots of info I ask for clarification. With socializing I'm fine with it ( except if there is a hot woman around then I get self concious). I'm fine I'm big gatherings I can manage fine. So should I forfeit my autism card now...
I have a question. I was only diagnosed about a year ago so I’m still learning. Sometimes when I get overloaded, especially emotionally, I totally disassociate. I know I’m talking and I’m aware of what I’m saying but I don’t seem to have control over it. It’s like complete auto-pilot mode. Can that be a shutdown?
thats more along the lines of a meltdown from my experience, you are so emotionally overloaded that you can no longer control what you are doing, mine typically originate from anger and i recently got myself fired from 2 jobs due to meltdowns. watching dans videos have helped tremendously and coping at my new job has been much smoother and easier with all the new knowledge i have been learning
@@TheAspieWorld its from like a pod cast and about this Guy David goggins, its an incredible speech and makes you think but the video is edited and he is not on the spectrum unfortunately, but i thought cant we learn something new from an fellow human Being? At least could try despite autism can make things difficult : /
Please lose the music behind your voice, it distracts from being able to understand you🥴 I love your channel, it saved my life, but I’m really struggling to separate voice from background noise 🙄 I’m a 67 year old male with Aspergers and ADHD, only diagnosed this year thanks to recognising myself in your work on our struggles - I had an autistic burnout and then embarked on this journey of embracing my new life 🤗 my weakness is music and visual images that are like a gut punch, they slip under my guard … suddenly the lyric content just overwhelms and I am bawling my eyes out … the song Anywhere But Here by Pink and Rag n Bone Man hit me hard - not only was it so beautiful and raw, the lyric was so how I feel often and it was just all too much 🥲cue me bursting into tears and needing a good rest. You never know when these things might occur, especially when music is my drug and my safe place…
@@AB43998 I live in New Zealand and, although there is growing awareness of ADHD and autism spectrum in regards to children and teens, but after 20 you are on your own….in Auckland, NZs largest city, only 2 psychologists have the necessary credentials and experience to offer a valid adult autism diagnosis and their wait list is over a year… and there is no private/paid alternative to the public health system, which is crippled by bureaucracy and failing miserably! Hence the self-diagnosis route via UA-cam, then tracking down and pestering a psychologist who would make a space for me…..she only relented as she believed that, if helped, I could help others, which was in itself, very empowering 🙏🏻 However, I would recommend that older adults think hard about diagnosis, it’s very hard to see your whole life through a new lens, there’s huge remorse and regret and shame to be processed, and a good therapist is a must! That said, I 100% believe that an educated self diagnosis is valid and can be a huge turning point 🙏🏻
I have this so bad - I thought it was pmdd but the more I research autism the more I’m relating (more aspie)… but perhaps the hormone drop every month triggers it. Doesn’t happen every month tho. It’s ruining my life. I’m self employed and can’t work during these times- which is not good for my bank account and causes me to get behind :/ which causes me more stress, depression etc. I just can’t talk to anyone- I don’t want to see, talk or deal with anyone and go into full hermit mode - sometimes super focusing on a subject (till the wee hours of the morning). I don’t have many friends and no family so I have to somehow check myself at some point in it and snap out of it which is hard to do. Thanks for this video
I’m soooo relieved to hear this. I didn’t realise it is called a shutdown. I learned over the last 8 years that the only way to cope at certain times is to have what I call, a catch up. I would withdraw to my bedroom and sleep, sleep, sleep. I’d get up at all hours of the day and night, eat, then back to bed. It could be for up to three days. Then I’d wake up at some point and feel refreshed and happy; like nothing had happened. My poor, confused husband also learned that it was the best thing for me to do and he goes with the flow. He’ll even advise me, at times, to go catch-up, and he’s always right. Bless him. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Hibernation 🙏
Hibernation is necessary
You're blessed with your husband, only love conquers the unthinkable❤
@@miriammaldonado7848 - Thanks. It took a few years to figure it out, but I’m fortunate hubby tried his best to ‘get me’. He survived my breakdowns and meltdowns. I’m generally on an even keel for much of the time these days, and I owe that mostly to him and his patience. 🥰
@@otakus1216 - I LOVE that. Yes indeed, it is kinda like a mini hibernation. I’m going to use that terminology from now on, it fits perfectly. Thanks 🥰
They happen to me rarely but when they do it’s because I’m confused or unable to fix a certain situation
I'm a music nerd, so my main triggers are emotional songs... Sometimes it's useful to be able to power cry it out and then be able to sleep properly, but it often stops me being able to function if I accidentally listen to one I shouldn't. Eg. Last week a German friend sung (on Smule) Noch Ein Leben by Pur - I didn't know it was about suicide or I wouldnt have listened, let alone translated it - and the rest of the day was a write-off. I don't often watch films; when I do it's comedy only nowadays. I also stopped watching the news - I'll only read up on the BIG headlines - as it was too much for me... Having extreme empathy can be amazing or a living hell.
Songs were made to enjoy, to listen, to dance. Those were the days... I dislike rapers lyrics full of violence... Etc.etc., and songs like the one you aforementioned.
Enjoy life and its beautiful nature❤
@@miriammaldonado7848 it wasn't violent; more of a "why did you do it?!" song... It caught me off guard as I've known a few people who've done it. I think there's definitely still a time and a place for these sad songs, and I even enjoy some rap music (the kind with carefully crafted lyrics that make you think, as opposed to all the b*itches and bling rubbish). I listen to and attempt to sing all different genres.
Hello again, Hannah. I relate to what you say. I can’t watch many genres of films/programs as I become deeply absorbed, like I’m right there but invisible. Much too painful to bear and it can render me useless. 🥰
Me2!
I don’t have autism however I do have anxiety shutdowns which is probably closely linked
Someone below mentioned anxiety shutdowns. That happens to me! At very bad times. Very stressful times. One of the worst was outside the court room (divorce/child custody hearing) and my ex's attorney was asking me questions. I was so scared and nervous that i could not speak beyond "I guess so," or "I don't know." My brain just froze up. I know she thought there was something seriously wrong with me. (There was!) I had a lawyer with me from Family Services who was an angel. He guided me through hell and back out that day. What a nightmare!!! That was 20 yrs ago and it still hurts.
I'm so confused with my online bf. He has aspergers. Months we been chatting, then 2 weeks ago he had stress at home. And he literally won't message or even reply! Like he reads my messages, but can't even say a word. I don't understand it still! Id rather he just tells me too never message again! Than totally ignore me. I guess watching this, makes me think il just leave him in his own world.
To be honest. Seeing this video makes me understand my own autism shutdowns. But I usually don't even tell others. Since I don't want to be. So called. Attention seeker.
I usually have my worst shutdowns when I am alone and I have a hard time explaining to people why I am late or have not done the things I was supposed to. I now have a title for what I am going through, but people still will not understand even if I told them, so I just apologize and accept that I will look bad, because I think why bother to try. I would think my aunt might understand because she is trained to work with kids with autism, but she really does not want to try to understand. Which is really frustrating, especially if she is having a rough day and is behind and I am expected to be ok and understanding with it.
Yeah same
I get depressed from time to time because there have been so many changes at work, and had to train 3 different new people in the span on two weeks! And, just when I mastered a system of how to get my tasks done, suddenly I don't have anyone to help me with the cleaning duties. My anxiety has gone up, and there are people in my life who seem to want to cling to me, and it all makes me anxious. I just want it all to get resolved soon and have things become more predictable in my day-to-day life.
Thank you for this video. My girlfriend of 2.5 years was just recently diagnosed, and even though we've been happy and fine, she suddenly left last week saying she needed space and it was "all just too much and she's overwhelmed". Could this be a shutdown?
Thanks for this video. I discovered I'm on the spectrum within the last couple of months (at age 45!) and you have definitely helped me along the way. I don't harm myself during meltdowns but I think that still qualifies. Doesn't it? The anger just pours out and you feel kind of raw and fragile for while after. But shutdowns -- I definitely know what that's like -- and I haven't heard it talked about on UA-cam before.
Who the hell gave this man a thumbs down?! Idiots! This is good stuff! Ty Dan! You’re awesome!
Thank you!
Hey, great vid. Your vids help me with my son. He's 14 and on the spectrum. He loves being social but doesn't know how to do it. He's getting much better though but still struggles with not interrupting/intruding. Long rd, but we're getting there.
i tend to shut down more than melt down its much more accepted socially and easier to hide but its so exhausting and no one sees that theres a problem
It sounds like you are saying sh*tdowns ,which is absolutely also what they feel like
Thank you for all your content and for sharing experiences
I go to concerts occasionally. When I go I normally ask if they have seating for disabled people because they are monitored more. I quite often say something when I buy tickets.
my emotions have been so random lately i don't know how i am feeling
I did not understand what happens to me until I understood shut downs and melt downs. Now I understand , I do not think I'm a bad person .Irresponsible in nature and defective in character any more. I have Autism and know it is the next stage in human evolution.
That’s right!
Hey Dan I'm not in the spectrum, but I've family, and dear friends. Thank you🙏
Peace💛💚💜❤
Feelings are too much for me. Autistic finding now that I'm old. Trauma, PTSD. I've always burned bridges too. I've also took on a more masculine role instead of a female. I did men's jobs but dressed like a woman. I couldn't date a man unless he was structured. I'm a loner. I've tried to change Arrogant and narcissist upbringing and relatives the ones that are around are to hard to deal with. Thank you
Idk if this was a shutdown or not
But at one assembly we had two boys one playing guitar and one playing the drums and a ton of screaming and claping and light right into my eyes. It got to a point where i just close my eyes and covered my ears and just kinda waited for it to stop I felt like i was mentally or physically idk tired after it i got my calm friend just needed sombody.
I've had a shutdown and I couldn't talk or function at all for a whole year it was almost as if I had moved to level 3 on the spectrum (but that can't happen naaaa nervous chuckle) anyway that was the darkest part of my life. Now I almost feel like it's happening again in the past week I've had 10 meltdowns daily and I can't really communicate properly (one of the reasons I feel like I'm withdrawing from the world around. Apart from that I don't have a clue. (Sorry for the long post if anyone reads this) 😭😭😥😭😭
Thank you so much for the comment! Plan
I have shutdowns and now I know why wow
Girlfriend just managed to shut me down again.
Sounds similar to fight or flight or freeze with PTSD
Dude, this doesn't really happen to me. I'm okay in crowds and when I'm getting confused by lots of info I ask for clarification. With socializing I'm fine with it ( except if there is a hot woman around then I get self concious). I'm fine I'm big gatherings I can manage fine. So should I forfeit my autism card now...
Sounded like you said sh*t downs in the beginning.
Hey
I have a question. I was only diagnosed about a year ago so I’m still learning.
Sometimes when I get overloaded, especially emotionally, I totally disassociate. I know I’m talking and I’m aware of what I’m saying but I don’t seem to have control over it. It’s like complete auto-pilot mode. Can that be a shutdown?
thats more along the lines of a meltdown from my experience, you are so emotionally overloaded that you can no longer control what you are doing, mine typically originate from anger and i recently got myself fired from 2 jobs due to meltdowns. watching dans videos have helped tremendously and coping at my new job has been much smoother and easier with all the new knowledge i have been learning
@@tikterd12345 ooooh. That’s true I never thought of it that way! Thank you.
The most eye opening 10 minutes of your life David goggins, search
What is that?
@@TheAspieWorld its from like a pod cast and about this Guy David goggins, its an incredible speech and makes you think but the video is edited and he is not on the spectrum unfortunately, but i thought cant we learn something new from an fellow human Being? At least could try despite autism can make things difficult : /
Hello there
🔥
⭐️⭐️
😎
Yeeeh
Please lose the music behind your voice, it distracts from being able to understand you🥴 I love your channel, it saved my life, but I’m really struggling to separate voice from background noise 🙄 I’m a 67 year old male with Aspergers and ADHD, only diagnosed this year thanks to recognising myself in your work on our struggles - I had an autistic burnout and then embarked on this journey of embracing my new life 🤗 my weakness is music and visual images that are like a gut punch, they slip under my guard … suddenly the lyric content just overwhelms and I am bawling my eyes out … the song Anywhere But Here by Pink and Rag n Bone Man hit me hard - not only was it so beautiful and raw, the lyric was so how I feel often and it was just all too much 🥲cue me bursting into tears and needing a good rest. You never know when these things might occur, especially when music is my drug and my safe place…
Did you get referred by your GP? R ya in the UK too? I’ve been told they don’t test adults anymore.
@@AB43998
I live in New Zealand and, although there is growing awareness of ADHD and autism spectrum in regards to children and teens, but after 20 you are on your own….in Auckland, NZs largest city, only 2 psychologists have the necessary credentials and experience to offer a valid adult autism diagnosis and their wait list is over a year… and there is no private/paid alternative to the public health system, which is crippled by bureaucracy and failing miserably!
Hence the self-diagnosis route via UA-cam, then tracking down and pestering a psychologist who would make a space for me…..she only relented as she believed that, if helped, I could help others, which was in itself, very empowering 🙏🏻 However, I would recommend that older adults think hard about diagnosis, it’s very hard to see your whole life through a new lens, there’s huge remorse and regret and shame to be processed, and a good therapist is a must! That said, I 100% believe that an educated self diagnosis is valid and can be a huge turning point 🙏🏻
I have this so bad - I thought it was pmdd but the more I research autism the more I’m relating (more aspie)… but perhaps the hormone drop every month triggers it. Doesn’t happen every month tho.
It’s ruining my life. I’m self employed and can’t work during these times- which is not good for my bank account and causes me to get behind :/ which causes me more stress, depression etc. I just can’t talk to anyone- I don’t want to see, talk or deal with anyone and go into full hermit mode - sometimes super focusing on a subject (till the wee hours of the morning). I don’t have many friends and no family so I have to somehow check myself at some point in it and snap out of it which is hard to do.
Thanks for this video