The empathy trait is how I figured out I'm autistic. I used to think I was horrible at reading people because how I Felt them feeling didn't match the words they would say. It took me nearly 30 years to figure out that I should trust my gut because people frequently lie. It still boggles my mind. If I say I'm fine, I mean it. If someone asks me if I'm angry, and I am, I answer truthfully. It doesn't really make sense to me that socially I'm the one being weird.
@@ZeCahliPreppingGroupInBioIs it really that irrational? I think wanting people to be honest is very normal. Everyone around me when I was younger wanted me to be truthful, surely wasn’t it the same for everyone around me?
I can absolutely relate and am the same. Wow, this is unreal how much everything I’m reading here is me! I’m just finally realizing that I’m on the spectrum. I’ve masked my whole life & it’s been exhausting & the anxiety is overwhelming. I too am extreme empathic and am totally honest & transparent. When I was a teenager and early 20’s my older sister would tell me ppl would like me more if I wasn’t so blunt and honest. That completely confused me bc I didn’t want to be blunt or tactless, just honest. I always knew I was different but could never put my finger on it. Things make SO much sense now that I know what “it” is.
I find im honest to a fault except about my emotions. I find most people in my life dont know how to deal with my emotions. They dont know how to deal with them(my emotions) or me. So I just mask. Sometimes I mask well, sometimes i purposefully dont mask well. But people seem to think if i say im fine, even if im clearly not, they can safely just ignore my emotions. Sometimes Its just easier for me to say im fine and figure out how to deal with it myself rather than waste time trying to explain and have them still not get it anyway.
Yeah. These should be seen as more than silver lining! These are often really really good traits for a human being. Some of the best traits actually, like empathy, loyalty and sense of justice.
I'm disabled because of my autism + anxiety/depression. That is obviously not good, but my special interests means I can still have a good life. My low food budget, careful planning of all purchases and strict, detailed and safety-oriented budgeting has allowed me a much greater economical freedom that other people on disability in my country. Autistic traits can really turn a bad situation around in many cases.
If you sold those, a lot of young people would buy them. People are sick of being trod on and exploited by those who consider themselves our betters. Eat the rich and all that.
The “weakness” side of all of those traits sounds EXACTLY like a list of my faults according to everyone who I’ve had difficulty dealing with in my life, especially in workplaces.
@@miriammaldonado7848 well. My take on it is that they are qualities, not defects. As such they can be seen as both good and bad. Neither defines you as a person: nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. Pretty much the same as interpersonal issues in the workplace. They have two sides: in this case you onone and each of those peopleon the other. Its possible that you have qualities that occasionally are problematic for others. It is also possible that those other people were unable to see the positive aspects of both your qualities and you as a person. Still. Its not the same as saying you would somehowbe flawed. Right?
I'm autistic, but I don't think I'm particularly creative. Not only that, but I can be pretty judgmental. I'm not judgmental with regard to superficial things like dress, but I am judgmental regarding what I consider matters of ethics or morality. If I think that someone has done something that is especially wrong, I can judge that person very harshly.
I had an autistic friend like you describe. Actually, two autistic friends who were not creative. I'm also autistic and am much more like described in the video - very creative and not judgemental, at least at first glance. I guess we vary quite a bit.
I have heard from therapists that autistic people have a stronger tendency towards black and white thinking and will group humans into good people and bad people based on a very strong but idiocentric code of ethics. That doesn't necessarily contradict what Paul is saying. It's just the sense of justice component, which usually involves the defense of others.
@Delilah I strongly relate to your judgmental part as well. I notice people's bad ethics or morality quite quickly. And once i do i'll have none of it. It's like a sensor that is always on. Once someone is marked as a bad apple on my radar then things like small talk is out of the question. It can go as far as not responding to how are you while responding to work related stuff during change of shifts. The amount of energy it would take me to engage in small talk with someone who's ethics or morality i question is so very high.
My daughter's psychiatrist called #2 "perseverative behavior." When she was a child, I realized that "the flip side of the coin" of her fighting with me all the time was that she was going to grow up to be able to stick to her goals and get where she wanted to be in life. So I started telling her that. (And she did, btw.)
And that is working both ways. When someone is constantly forced to listen to others, then this person is becoming lost and fearfull adult, without any confidence. This is hard for everyone that experienced it, but especially for people with the spectrum in my opinion
I used to tell my kids when I was disciplining them that all things we don't like in kids are perfectly fine and sometimes even celebrated in adults. So basically I scolded them for not having good timing :)
I got my diagnosis two days ago, and I'm still reindexing/rebuilding my mental database, seeing how my condition influenced behavior patterns, understanding why things I blamed myself for happened and finally being able to come to terms with these memories, just so many things to review. The parts about authority figures, visually reading people and interpreting their emotions and demeanor as incongruous, and lack of judgment until one is breaking one of my own core tenets really speak to me. I've always talked to people as individual humans. They carry roles, they have unique responsibilities, but at the end of the day, they're human. Interfering with that by invoking one's title does not help any conversing with me. If anything, I will respect the person less for asserting a title over their actual person, and the hypocrisy drives me nuts. I think that neurotypicals aren't aware of the levels of cognitive dissonance that they operate with on a constant basis. It's something I don't understand, since I have to be okay with myself and my thinking before having the capacity to do anything else. When I see gross cognitive dissonance, I disregard the person as they don't know what they're actually thinking since their thoughts are in such seeming conflict. Rules can be a sticking point for me. I *need* to know why a rule exists and understand what happens without the rule before I can understand and work with it. If it's a BS or arbitrary rule, i consider it equal to my responses to cognitive dissonance - this rule doesn't make sense, it gets in the way of the goal, it hampers one's ability to work, and as a result is a bad rule to be ignored. This isn't a completely healthy or even correct conclusions/responses, but it's the ruleset my mind is wired to be, and it's one of the only things that help me make sense of the world.
Oh, I hear that, sister/brother, re the rules. I HATE rules that don't make sense and am so poor at accepting nonsensical rules that I will even break the law if needs be. I HAVE to understand rules. Equally well, with rules that are for the greater good, it drives me nuts if anyone breaks them. I nearly got into a punch up yesterday in a bus queue, of all the ridiculous places, because some teenage girls tried to jump the queue. So I feel that one alright.
@@chancerystone4086 oh i feel it so deep. I can't understand why people don't follow social or rules when those rules can make things easier to navigate with. I nearly need someone who is neurotypical in cases like this to help me
My favorite autistic trait is not taking things as personally as other people! It is so aggravating to me how personally nuerotypical folks take most things in life, when in facts, very few actions actually fall under that umbrella. The flip side is I miss the apparent signals others see when someone does mean something personally.
My friend describes this as “You can’t make jokes about tobsecret because he’ll just explain it back to you and why it’s true” 😅 It can also be a power because in some rare cases, people are trying to get to you, and in denying them that, you don’t give them any power over you. I will never forget when my uncle said jokingly that my tight shirt was looking gay and I said “yes, and?” (expecting more) in the most toneless way. That lack of a reaction didn’t compute with him and I haven’t heard a homophobic remark from him since.
Do you feel like this affects your mood? I'm an Aspie, and I'm fairly confident that my father is as well. One of the things that I've noticed is that neither of us get offended when people use an unfortunate choice of words, and our moods are very stable. We rarely get angry or upset, and when we get really excited about something it tends to take us a while to calm down. The opposite is also true. If we get angry or sad, it usually takes us longer to let go.
@@JWildberry that’s pretty much true for me as well. I’d say it’s more of an understanding that everyone is too worried about themselves to make things personal.
LOL at when Paul jokingly referred to neurotypicals as “the alien race” that we study and try to blend in with. I’d never thought of autism as an anthropological project but it really is and it’s really hard sometimes but we do our best. Hugs to y’all
I don't think the neuropsychologist who just assessed me saw my autism. Every video I watch, every comment I read, I know you are my people. I've known this for a couple of years now. I know the next step is getting involved with the local groups and work other autistic people more personally. But it's a bit scary.
You can do it, it is scary but going where your fear is is very powerful and can help you a lot. It helps me to think that in order to be brave, you need fear to overcome. Also, most people are scared before they reach out but don't regret it if they do anyway.
@@cookiequeen5430 Thank you for your kind words. I'm not actually afraid in a way that would prevent me from going forward. It's more the kind of scary that is a new social context but also a bit higher stakes in regards to being welcomed and understood for who I am.
I'm currently in hospital after autistic burnout and mental overwhelm from 10 months of escalating stress. Your videos are helping me remember myself and find my peace again. Thank you
@@kt1696 going through the floods and losing everything I own, trying to find a new home and support in an overwhelmed market, with kids. The longer things dragged out the harder it got and the more things were lost
@@SheaDragonfae so sorry to hear your plight. I'm interested in your account because I have a loved one who broke down, it was very upsetting to see. 8 hope your situation turns around for you soon and you feel able to cope again. Thank you for your response...
Sorry to hear. The burnout is damn hard. Lots of love from this autistic stranger from a far. Hope you can recover in due time )as what’s best for you).
1. Attention to detail 2. Being persistent (hyperfocus) 3. Being creative 4. Being honest, authentic 5. Being non-judgmental 6. Being loyal 7. Being highly empathic 8. Extremely flexible 9. Strong sense of justice
This is a fantastic list! I resonate with ALL of them. Overly non-judgemental, overly empathetic, seeing things in a unique and creative way, very strong feelings about justice, extremely flexible, etc. I was a massage therapist with my own business for several years and these traits really served me well in my profession. I loved doing that. Had to stop when my fibromyalgia made it too difficult. 😢
I cried after watching this. I was just recently diagnosed at 30 years old.... And you described me perfectly... And so many of those things you said, my family had shunned me for. I am now able to embrace those traits. Thank you so much ❤❤❤
Non-judgemental & honest which, to me, presents as a genuine kindness. I’ve been watching your videos to help learn to better communicate with a man I adore who may be on the spectrum. I’ve learned so much helpful information from you. Thank you!
almost like being autistic means you have a more authentic experience. not to say NT's cant be genuine, but I do notice other autistic folks definitely lean more towards being understanding/trying to understand the world around them. which is awesome! I wish you best of luck on your journey ❤️
What you said about being flexible and making your own structure compared to the stereotype of being inflexible and needing rigid strucutre because of that actually makes a lot of sense with my experiences. Every time someone has tried to impose arbitrary structure on me because I'm autistic I've pushed back because *their* structure is wrong and suffocating, wheras when I make my own rules and structures for myself, those are fine. (worth noting that I'm also diagnosed with adhd which does change things a bit compared to just being autistic)
My favourite Autistic trait is 'strong emotions.' I know there's an downside to that one too but I still love the fact that whenever we feel good, we don't just feel good we feel just super joyful or excessively happy and that feels pretty amazing! 😃🥰❤💚💜💙 xo
I have co-morbid depression so I have no idea what you are talking about. We are all different. But I am glad that you found something about yourself that you like. That's great. Just don't overgeneralize.
persistance/stubbornness is a superpower. "Other planet syndrome" is also a personal superpower, in that it protects from gaslighting, but, it also has some comeback in the form of social disgust. I, personally am extremely glad to be autistic, and to be really out there, I think that a lot of current probs can be explained because we are moving from a more narcissistic society (globally) to a more autistic society. YAY!!!!
I (42F) just discovered I’m autistic within the last six months. I have always thought I was an alien. This list is so crazy to me. For the first time in my entire life I feel like I’m finally being seen.
#8 is interesting; the stereotype of being rigid and not liking change is more because people are expecting us to do what is expected/socially accepted and we do/prefer the opposite/something different and have no interest in doing what is expected, so we are "inflexible" from others perspective as we refuse to blindly follow the herd
What I love about your videos is that you don't just roll with the stereotypes. You name things that are so, so true but that not many really recognize because they're not the stereotypical attributes.
These points are spot-on for me. Regarding Number 7: I am highly empathic - it's not that I can't 'read' people, but that the lack of congruence between a person's outer demeanour and the inner feeling is deeply confusing, and what I 'receive' is what they're feeling. Beautifully summarised, Paul.
This was one of your best videos! So much packed into it. Insights for the Aspie as well as those who know one. Thank you for doing what you do, Paul. REALLY. :)
So I´ve been on this journey of finding out about autism and if I myself am in fact autistic for about a month now. One of the things I at first saw as a sign I wasn´t autistic was the empathy thing. However, you perfectly describe my experience in your section about being highly empathic in this video; I always notice the smallest shifts in tone or if a person is sounding more stressed than the day before and I always feel like I am the only one who notices it. It´s always really hard for me to figure out if it is appropiate to mention it if I feel that someone isn´t doing fine but pretending to.
That was absolutely fantastic! I’m so glad you focused on the strengths and positive attributes of being autistic, yet you didn’t ignore the down side either. It was refreshing! I’ve watched other people describing their autism and totally dwell on the negative and how horrible it is. It’s pretty self evident for those who are not neurotypical that there are downsides to autism, so focusing on how awesome it can be to have autism was a huge help. Thank you!
If people were specific & honest, we'd all get along fine. No more feeling like you're Columbo, when you finally get the gist of a conversation you had 3 months ago! No more ''Fetch my screwdriver from the shed!'', passing off as 'enough info'! We could all save each other so much time & energy.
My son Has just recently been diagnosed and I have just watched your 63 traits of autism and had some good belly laughs cos I saw so many traits that I didn't realise was autism, but this video has really given me hope and faith that other people (in a work sense) will see benefit in these traits and kids/adults that have autism......THANK YOU! 100% subscribed x
My 19 y/o son is on the spectrum and shows all of these traits. He’s in college now, a published writer, and entirely focused on his creative career. He’s my first child and to this day he and I are extremely close. We seem to understand each other better than anyone else in the family does. The bluntness and overly honest communication style you touched upon is in full effect with both of us. We seem to be the only two who can say anything, however painful, out loud. Like me he spoke in full sentences in two languages before he was 2, taught himself to read by 2.5, but showed remarkable difficulty handling crowds, noise, change, textures, and so on. I always saw the ASD in him but I never thought to turn the camera around on myself until now. I spent so many years masking and over compensating and then hiding in corners crying because I was so completely overwhelmed. I went to medical school (partly because everyone told me I couldn’t) and nearly did my head in trying to fit in with my fellow doctors. The only place I felt recognized was with my patients, who were poor, Spanish speaking, and terribly disadvantaged. I clashed with most of my professors except for the few who were like me. I went into family medicine in an underserved area of Los Angeles. I can claim all the traits you mentioned in your video. Those traits made me a highly diligent, well loved doctor, but they also created a spectacular emotional overload, burnout, and a miserable relationship with upper management and all of their inflexible rules. I was so miserable that I up and quit after 14 years with 2 weeks notice. I ended up making myself sick trying to make everyone happy while catching everyone’s emotions like the flu. My body ended up turning on itself and I was diagnosed with SLE (systemic lupus erythematosis) 9 years ago. I had to stop working and I haven’t gone back. I’m trying to find something to do for someone like me.
I was also going to mention that at one point I thought I might be psychic with my patients. I could walk into exam room and before a work was said I would know what was going on. Now I see that it was this hyper-empathic trait but at the time it felt like magic
I just found out about this channel, and I wanna thank you so much for making these videos about ASD. I was diagnosed when I was 11 years old and I wasn't able to speak about it since a lot of people made me think I was sick or mentally ill, and for so many years, I kept quiet until now. Now I'm studying psychology and Im pursuing for an educational focus on my career to help kids that struggle in school due to the educational system in my country and city. People like you, spreading information about ASD in such an amazing way should be listened to even more.
This is a great list. I have seen many of these traits in those I know who have autism. These people are some of the most thoughtful, loyal, creative, giving, funny, honest, and kind people I know.
This is a great video, and I learned a lot. I don't love the "different planet" model, although I understand it. I prefer the "different operating system" model!
I can relate to all of those traits, some to higher degrees than others. You have described brilliantly there why many autistics feel the way they do about flexibility. I had not come up with any real conclusions about it before, but it all makes sense now. This was a very good video and helps explain so much! Thanks.
It has been two years since this video. While watching it I was excited. Thinking I am knowledgeable about autistic traits, this information is eye opening and helpful. You discuss issues in a way that I can appreciate feeling better about myself. Thank you.
I have spent the last hour going through your videos nodding my head saying “yep I do that” or “Jesus that’s me” …. But this one was so spot on, I can’t think anything but “I knew it. Now what do I do?” The last person I confided in said “I think your social anxiety and over talking and tics usually happen w “so and so because your uncomfortable with them. You don’t do it so much with me. I don’t think you can turn it off and on”. I dont know how to explain that she’s my comfort zone. I can be myself and say all the things in my brain and know she gets me. So I don’t need to think about what to say next or how uncomfortable I feel or am I making eye contact am I Sharing too much and stop touching your hair and face! All the things my brain is saying w other people. I’m almost 44 and I feel like i’m finally learning why I am the the way I am.
I found that the term "attention to detail" is often a bit misleading. The detail in question mostly sticks out because it doesn't fit into an understood system. It is more "attention to context".
Dear Paul, this video is the best of all!! I am 59 and have just (informally but by a knowledgeable psychologist) been diagnosed with Asperger's. Suddenly so many things make sense, which they didn't before! This is quite liberating but also quite devastating. Your video has helped me enormously to cope with the stigma and the mourning, and has allowed me to feel pride of myself. It also was crucial in bringing the news to my father (who is 88) that he may be autistic. It allowed him to listen to the message (something which is anyway always very difficult for him), and clearly made him thinking. He said he recognized himself in all of the 9 points. My mother (83) also recognized him in this mirror and said that it was precisely his honesty that had made her fall in love with him. It also made a lot of sense with respect to many of our family members with strange conditions and strange behaviour. My uncle was thought to have suffered from meningitis during childhood, now I think he simply was autistic.
I know it’s completely offtopic from the video, but I love that your camera is processing the frames of you moving a littles lowly because it gives my brain a little more time to recognize the movements of your arms or hands.
I haven't been diagnosed to have ASD but I think 8/9 of these traits perfectly describe me. The only missing part the that I'm not highly empathic - I would label myself only somewhat empathic.
Every single person I've told I'm autistic has adamantly argued with me that I'm not while admitting that they know nothing about it other than from movies
This is the best perspective I have come across yet. I see every one of these traits in my son. At the end, you note that it is incumbent upon each individual to develop these traits to their advantage as each yin has it's yang. I think that without understanding, it is easy for a person to see these distinctions as a negative as they have so often alienated them from the people around them. Doesn't have to be that way. And you've made that more clear now. thanks.
I am still waiting for aliens to come to me one day and say: "You are on candid camera!" It will be the best laugh of my life! Thanks Paul, this is helping a lot with the people around me watching your videos and understanding at best our situation and how to behave accordingly.
I've only recently become aware of the fact that I am autistic. I've talked with a friend in the past about having "no filters" not really knowing what it was referring to. That's because we simply attributed that to both of us being intersex. But now I'm seeing that much of that is due to autism. I got a lot out of all of these but the being honest is so important. I have been accused of lots of different things from my brand of honesty like I'm rude and other not so nice comments. My best friend says I'm direct and in-your-face kind of person but he's not judging me for that. As well, I see that number 9, A strong sense of justice has been a big part of my life. I've been interested and active in trade unions and co-operatives. It doesn't bother me to rock the boat. I need to continue to be aware of these autistic traits and how I can turn them all to my advantage.
I believe every single point is me. Completely me. I think these are great qualities that sometimes get me into trouble, especially the being honest- sometimes too honest. And life experience of (occassional) rejection means I can be empathetic and non judgemental, because I've been there. I am an artist. I'm good on my own, never bored. I'm more fulfilled than neuro typical. It can be exhausting though, I have to pace.
Honesty and Non-judgemental Two traits I'm certain NT employers go out of their way to trip you up or make it a point how that's not how you're supposed to do things. One job I had, in the interview they asked how would I treat folk in the company and external partners. Like you Paul and not seeing the distinction (and sometimes refusing to because it goes against what I believe), I answered I wouldn't, I treat everyone with respect and patience. The employer hired me and said she loved that answer. Fast forward to a couple weeks later, and I was speaking to one of the board members. Afterwards I was called into my boss's office, and reprimanded for being too friendly and saying mate and al too much. I swiftly told them you employed me BECAUSE I don't use social hierarchy as an arbiter to how I should talk to someone. They were not happy at all. But what was I supposed to do? Safe to say I got fired from that job.
This video is so healing. I’m being misunderstood in my church group so much because of my different state of mind/brain. It hurts so much because they are supposed to be close to me since we have the same faith and are fighting for the same thing. This video reminded me of the positive
Thank uou Paul, I really enjoyed the video. These 9 traits are very much appreciated. My favourite is honesty, because it is such a rare commodity!! Two people in my family have quite a few of these wonderful traits. I've never thought them autistic, but maybe they are! I'll keep watching . 😊
Great video. I'm 65, not diagnosed yet but your 9 points, I would say that I see these traits to being very positive. I have recognised every one but only realised in the last year that I am autistic.
I like how honest I am. I have lied and I have let people believe what they want to, but I don't know what it feels like to pretend to be something I'm not. People talk about regretting lies, or letting the person they are dating see the real them, and I can't wrap my head around that. Dating is hard for me, because I can't conceal something for later, if I'm compelled to say something in the course of conversation it always comes out. People read too much into it, because they are always looking for hidden flaws and assume there must be more bad things I'm hiding and not that I'm pathologically honest
Thanks a lot for your great videos, I love to listen to all of them! I have never been diagnosed but all nine traits and your explanations are like a mirror of how I am/feel, something that has not happened to me before to that extent…
Thank you for your videos, it helps me understanding a lot about myself. I was born in the 80s and had to learn how to function in society by myself as my aspberger was not diagnosed until recently. I am in the progress of reprogramming myself away from the in my opinion useless socially acceptable traits/ behaviours pounded into me as a child, these "skills" takes a lot of effort and energy from me. For the first time in my life I feel free to be myself and not feel like an alien. There is a lot I still have to learn about myself but in this small time I have found myself feeling more at ease and "natural" not feeling forced to "follow the heard of sheep", my brain has started producing innovative ideas that to others around me seem like fiction, I hope as times goes on I can find a forum where my ideas is understood instead of questioned by things like "what kind of education do you have?", I have found that most people tend to relate intelligence and innovation to education and social status which is wrong. As a child I was severly bullied and outcast by other students and teachers so I stopped going to school, despite this I had the idea of the design of f117 before it was "released". Educational system often teaches you how to think like someone else, but to make new things one must think in ways no one has before and there is no educational scripture for something like that. I struggle each day to accept my socioeconomical status but it is very often annoying, trying to accept others inability of in my mind rational thought leaves me frustrated. The quoute "Truth is stranger than fiction" is something I relate to very much, as something to me seems clear and rational it can seem like a pipedream or fiction to a NT. I no longer have a wish to "be normal" as I have learned that to me it is restrictive and constricting, I just want to be the person I was born to be... Me...
This subject is of particular interest to me, as I have several autistic relatives, and it's really refreshing to have a recognition of some positive aspects of the condition. Some of the older generation have never been officially diagnosed, and lately, I've been wondering if it didn't apply to me. I have only ever considered the 'negative' aspects of my character - the awkwardness in social situations, the talent for saying or doing exactly the wrong thing, and an irrational dislike of using the phone (am I the only person on the planet who doesn't own a cellphone?). However, one positive/negative aspect had never actually occurred to me: I have an outstanding memory for words, and things I have read...but a dreadful memory for telephone numbers, names and faces, and a poor visual memory and route recollection (I frequently get lost!). I would not, however, consider myself naturally empathetic, though I do sometimes have an accurate 'intuition' of a person's true character, even when it's not obvious to everyone. As for asking for help, I shan't do anything about it, as I note from one of the comments that 'they' consider you to be beyond help by the time you get to my age (72)!
I actually feel that you have done a great job in putting across the aspects both as strengths and weakness. I mean you are so expressive and communicative to put all traits in one go and make us feel like we are worth something and have peace of mind for us/me. I would like to connect with our community and feel that, yes I'm not alone.
In some cases, superior senses! People often talk about "sensitivity" as if it's a matter of being unusually reactive to stimuli, when it in fact commonly arises from heightened perception, which can be a good thing despite the drawbacks. My hearing extends beyond the typical human range, capable of perceiving sounds too high, low, or quiet for most to notice. Yeah, I'll shoot you a dirty look if you drop something heavy, but after all, I can hear if you're phone's done charging from across the room or if a car turned onto my street.
All the traits he mentioned is sooo me! Every single one! But even though I’m high functional, I’m also really dysfunctional at the same time. Got my diagnosis when I sought help for depression over a terrible loss in my life, and they noticed me having autistic behavior traits and asked me if I was interested in them testing me of I was on the spectrum. I immediately answered “Yes!” because I already knew I was different and getting to know myself through a manual of myself sounded absolutely fantastic… I love love love manuals!! I got diagnosed with both Asperger’s syndrome and ADD. And I really love knowing why I’m different and being able to work with myself and evolve as a person and also be able to explain why I act differently oftentimes. Yep… I tend to over share sometimes. Haha 😏
My attention to detail comes only as a result of seeing the big picture. If i can't see all the moving parts interacting, i can't understand the thing. But once i see how everything interacts, i can tell you how one minute change will affect the whole system, down to the smallest part.
I fell in love with an autistic man and he feels good around me, I know how to make him feel safe. Now I listen to you and I have all these exact traits!
Thank you for this video. I needed the emotional boost today and the Algorithm suggested it. I'm now using most o these on my next resume as it never occurred to me to use some of them before.
All of these are so true. The sense of justice and always trying to improve and not letting up are strong ones. They tend to irritate the other people around, especially the not letting up. Although at some point complete burnout can enter picture.
I have all of those, but one difference is that I often tend to say things in cryptic ways that need to figure out what they mean. I find it fun. Haven't heard anything about that here.
I think many of these traits synergistically worked to make me an awesome RN in a Trauma ICU unit and graduating with a 4.0 GPA in college/nursing school... I'm just finding out these things at 62. Im trying to work with this now, insteading of hiding my quirks.
Thanks for the video and never apologize for having high standards. If someone wants to have crappy standards, that is their business and their choice.
My favorite trait (which I didn't know was due to ASD!) is being nonjudgmental. I've been that way since early childhood--never seeing differences as something to fear, but rather something interesting.
My persistence is borderline relentless My bluntness I'll tend to try to hold back but it ends up eventually to me coming across as an A-hole when I've finally had enough I do have some issues with sudden drastic change Your videos ha e helped me better understand my HFS(High Functioning Savant)
Also your talk of poor treatment I've had so much pain and suffering in my upbringing But my work ethic has received nonstop praise Just the head down "oh... is there a big pile of stuff to do? Eh, it'll be done rather quickly, just leave me to the task at hand and take what's been done accordingly."
I love you! No one has made more sense to me about believing myself as on this Spectrum. Thanks! And I met Temple Grandin twice and adore her, but you are like me!
Thank you for your videos. I don’t feel so alone now. This explains a lot . People don’t like it when I name the elephant in the room though. Society would rather be fake than authentic. I love the non judgmental bit, I’ve always been like this. I think we are just authentic and real and society wants us to be fake. Thank you for your videos. I love them. Xx
Woah. Spot on for everyone of these, and reasoning* is the same. Example: Not following the hierarchy as we are all valuable. Super upsetting. Example: Sticking on one thing. That tends to be a topic, especially if something is not resolved and is a fairness issue.
My favorite part of autism is that when compared to what should logically take place, we are the wild cards of possibilities. It's like a secret super power. I love surprising (and sometimes shocking) people. Sometimes I think it's necessary when you get a chance to prove a stuffy elitist or crabby Scrooge person wrong. In that way I think we make life better and worth living!!💗
I'm so loooving this! Thanks man I'm a big fan! I have ADHD and Bipolar 2 and is really kinda weird too. Now I'm trying to understand my kid who has ASD and ADHD. This clears up lots of autistic traits and we are now more appreciative. Thank you! ❤️🙏
TW : upsetting mention of stigma I grew up with so much stigma around autism. My parents would only ever make it out to be a bad thing. But god I’m so grateful for this community online
As someone who has ADHD and whose wife is on the spectrum, I can tell you that it isn’t just neurotypical people who learn 60% and then go with it. My wife has pointed out that I will talk about something with conviction but I really haven’t put in the hours of study.
I love how you said something along the lines of, "I can't let it go if I know it could be better." That's exactly how I am, much to the irritation of those around me, lol.
I used to put people off by swearing a lot, when I was younger. I'm not sure if that's quite the same as honesty. There might be some overlap with being non-judgemental and authentic. I don't judge other people for swearing either, and listen to what they have to say. A lot of people think it's acceptable to shut someone down for swearing.
@@Rollwithit699 I'm older, myself, and educated enough to express myself without swearing most of the time. Of course, there's also a difference between swearing at someone and swearing in their presence. Swearing at someone is always rude and aggressive. It's often the case that people choose to take offence at bad language as a way of minimising the other person's right to be angry. I say that because my observation is that people make a huge fuss of not minding in the slightest when they hear bad language from someone that they rank above them socially. Correcting someone who's speaking what's honestly on their mind is another way of asserting some sort of pecking order. It's also a feature of British culture that most people swear more amongst people that they consider their equals, and especially among friends. From an autistic perspective, I'm quite blind to hierarchies. I don't have any problem with authority with people who have legitimate authority, but I'm hyperaware of games around pecking order.
1. Attention to detail 2. Being persistent 3. Being creative 4. Being honest 5. Being non-judgemental 6. Being loyal 7. Being highly empathetic 8. Extremely flexible 9. Strong sense of justice
My grandson was diagnosed as autistic about 14 years ago. My daughter once told me he got it from me which annoyed me at the time. Since then I think my son also has autism but, like me, he hasn't been diagnosed. When I first realised I fitted 90%of the criteria for autism I rang the autistic association for help. I was told that I've lived with it for more than 60 years and have obviously learned coping mechanisms and it was too late for help. Once I accepted I was probably atheistic many things in my life fell into place. Of all the things you mentioned in the video I can relate to al but one. My pet peeves are injustice, dishonesty and needless secrecy! Keep up the good work for poor 72 year old folks like me.
I "figured it out" last year and I'm 79! I'm really grateful to have this information even at this late date. As you say, knowing I have Asperger's has helped me to understand my life in hindsight and to enjoy more going forward.
The empathy trait is how I figured out I'm autistic. I used to think I was horrible at reading people because how I Felt them feeling didn't match the words they would say. It took me nearly 30 years to figure out that I should trust my gut because people frequently lie. It still boggles my mind. If I say I'm fine, I mean it. If someone asks me if I'm angry, and I am, I answer truthfully. It doesn't really make sense to me that socially I'm the one being weird.
I'm with you 100% on this
@@ZeCahliPreppingGroupInBioIs it really that irrational?
I think wanting people to be honest is very normal. Everyone around me when I was younger wanted me to be truthful, surely wasn’t it the same for everyone around me?
I can absolutely relate and am the same. Wow, this is unreal how much everything I’m reading here is me!
I’m just finally realizing that I’m on the spectrum. I’ve masked my whole life & it’s been exhausting & the anxiety is overwhelming.
I too am extreme empathic and am totally honest & transparent.
When I was a teenager and early 20’s my older sister would tell me ppl would like me more if I wasn’t so blunt and honest. That completely confused me bc I didn’t want to be blunt or tactless, just honest.
I always knew I was different but could never put my finger on it. Things make SO much sense now that I know what “it” is.
I find im honest to a fault except about my emotions. I find most people in my life dont know how to deal with my emotions. They dont know how to deal with them(my emotions) or me. So I just mask. Sometimes I mask well, sometimes i purposefully dont mask well. But people seem to think if i say im fine, even if im clearly not, they can safely just ignore my emotions. Sometimes Its just easier for me to say im fine and figure out how to deal with it myself rather than waste time trying to explain and have them still not get it anyway.
I like saying the quiet part out loud. But, it’s usually seems like impulse rather than a logical choice.
I love it when the silver linings of autism get discussed, it's such a confidence boost.
Thank you for affirming this for me. Could not be more accurate. Beyond cathartic.
Yeah. These should be seen as more than silver lining! These are often really really good traits for a human being. Some of the best traits actually, like empathy, loyalty and sense of justice.
I agree :) ♥️
I'm disabled because of my autism + anxiety/depression. That is obviously not good, but my special interests means I can still have a good life. My low food budget, careful planning of all purchases and strict, detailed and safety-oriented budgeting has allowed me a much greater economical freedom that other people on disability in my country. Autistic traits can really turn a bad situation around in many cases.
Me too! Superpowers!
"I often forget to respect hierarchical power structures" . . . I ought to have that printed on all my T-shirts xD
I'd buy that.
This one blew my mind because ... that explains something I had never understood about myself, and I really enjoyed this framing.
I dont think I should respect that... Its very harmful. It inhibits development of the human spiecies.
If you sold those, a lot of young people would buy them. People are sick of being trod on and exploited by those who consider themselves our betters. Eat the rich and all that.
Oh, I remember. I just don't want to. Treating everyone as morally equal is just better.
The “weakness” side of all of those traits sounds EXACTLY like a list of my faults according to everyone who I’ve had difficulty dealing with in my life, especially in workplaces.
They are not faults. They are YOU.
@@jazjac17
Please explain🙏
@@miriammaldonado7848 well. My take on it is that they are qualities, not defects. As such they can be seen as both good and bad. Neither defines you as a person: nothing wrong with you. You are not broken.
Pretty much the same as interpersonal issues in the workplace. They have two sides: in this case you onone and each of those peopleon the other. Its possible that you have qualities that occasionally are problematic for others. It is also possible that those other people were unable to see the positive aspects of both your qualities and you as a person.
Still. Its not the same as saying you would somehowbe flawed. Right?
I feel this.
Had to comment cause likes were at 111 can't change that sorry 👍. I agree with your comment I don't trust myself at all.
I'm autistic, but I don't think I'm particularly creative. Not only that, but I can be pretty judgmental. I'm not judgmental with regard to superficial things like dress, but I am judgmental regarding what I consider matters of ethics or morality. If I think that someone has done something that is especially wrong, I can judge that person very harshly.
I had an autistic friend like you describe. Actually, two autistic friends who were not creative. I'm also autistic and am much more like described in the video - very creative and not judgemental, at least at first glance. I guess we vary quite a bit.
I have heard from therapists that autistic people have a stronger tendency towards black and white thinking and will group humans into good people and bad people based on a very strong but idiocentric code of ethics. That doesn't necessarily contradict what Paul is saying. It's just the sense of justice component, which usually involves the defense of others.
I’m autistic and can also be quick to judge others.
@@simonj3413 Do you treat people differently because of how they’re dressed or how much money they make or if they are your boss or the janitor?
@Delilah I strongly relate to your judgmental part as well. I notice people's bad ethics or morality quite quickly. And once i do i'll have none of it. It's like a sensor that is always on. Once someone is marked as a bad apple on my radar then things like small talk is out of the question. It can go as far as not responding to how are you while responding to work related stuff during change of shifts. The amount of energy it would take me to engage in small talk with someone who's ethics or morality i question is so very high.
My daughter's psychiatrist called #2 "perseverative behavior."
When she was a child, I realized that "the flip side of the coin" of her fighting with me all the time was that she was going to grow up to be able to stick to her goals and get where she wanted to be in life. So I started telling her that. (And she did, btw.)
And that is working both ways. When someone is constantly forced to listen to others, then this person is becoming lost and fearfull adult, without any confidence. This is hard for everyone that experienced it, but especially for people with the spectrum in my opinion
I used to tell my kids when I was disciplining them that all things we don't like in kids are perfectly fine and sometimes even celebrated in adults. So basically I scolded them for not having good timing :)
It really irritates me when things like that go unfinished without being definitively proven to be impossible.
I got my diagnosis two days ago, and I'm still reindexing/rebuilding my mental database, seeing how my condition influenced behavior patterns, understanding why things I blamed myself for happened and finally being able to come to terms with these memories, just so many things to review.
The parts about authority figures, visually reading people and interpreting their emotions and demeanor as incongruous, and lack of judgment until one is breaking one of my own core tenets really speak to me.
I've always talked to people as individual humans. They carry roles, they have unique responsibilities, but at the end of the day, they're human. Interfering with that by invoking one's title does not help any conversing with me. If anything, I will respect the person less for asserting a title over their actual person, and the hypocrisy drives me nuts.
I think that neurotypicals aren't aware of the levels of cognitive dissonance that they operate with on a constant basis. It's something I don't understand, since I have to be okay with myself and my thinking before having the capacity to do anything else. When I see gross cognitive dissonance, I disregard the person as they don't know what they're actually thinking since their thoughts are in such seeming conflict.
Rules can be a sticking point for me. I *need* to know why a rule exists and understand what happens without the rule before I can understand and work with it. If it's a BS or arbitrary rule, i consider it equal to my responses to cognitive dissonance - this rule doesn't make sense, it gets in the way of the goal, it hampers one's ability to work, and as a result is a bad rule to be ignored. This isn't a completely healthy or even correct conclusions/responses, but it's the ruleset my mind is wired to be, and it's one of the only things that help me make sense of the world.
Oh, I hear that, sister/brother, re the rules. I HATE rules that don't make sense and am so poor at accepting nonsensical rules that I will even break the law if needs be. I HAVE to understand rules. Equally well, with rules that are for the greater good, it drives me nuts if anyone breaks them. I nearly got into a punch up yesterday in a bus queue, of all the ridiculous places, because some teenage girls tried to jump the queue. So I feel that one alright.
@@chancerystone4086 oh i feel it so deep. I can't understand why people don't follow social or rules when those rules can make things easier to navigate with. I nearly need someone who is neurotypical in cases like this to help me
What about being highly trusting, at least until we get burnt ( though I don’t seem to learn)? That seems common.
Yes bc we are so honest we expect other people to be the same
@@scrapbooksiren1608 Good point.
Yep
Very true. Though I'm not sure that's a positive. How many times does it take to learn that lesson?
@@josiah42 Mixed blessing?
My favorite autistic trait is not taking things as personally as other people! It is so aggravating to me how personally nuerotypical folks take most things in life, when in facts, very few actions actually fall under that umbrella. The flip side is I miss the apparent signals others see when someone does mean something personally.
My friend describes this as “You can’t make jokes about tobsecret because he’ll just explain it back to you and why it’s true” 😅
It can also be a power because in some rare cases, people are trying to get to you, and in denying them that, you don’t give them any power over you.
I will never forget when my uncle said jokingly that my tight shirt was looking gay and I said “yes, and?” (expecting more) in the most toneless way. That lack of a reaction didn’t compute with him and I haven’t heard a homophobic remark from him since.
Yup, that lack of judgementalness & not caring/conforming to normality. Everyone does seem to be extra hypersensitive these days tho.
Do you feel like this affects your mood? I'm an Aspie, and I'm fairly confident that my father is as well. One of the things that I've noticed is that neither of us get offended when people use an unfortunate choice of words, and our moods are very stable. We rarely get angry or upset, and when we get really excited about something it tends to take us a while to calm down. The opposite is also true. If we get angry or sad, it usually takes us longer to let go.
@@JWildberry that’s pretty much true for me as well. I’d say it’s more of an understanding that everyone is too worried about themselves to make things personal.
@@JWildberry I’m the same.
LOL at when Paul jokingly referred to neurotypicals as “the alien race” that we study and try to blend in with. I’d never thought of autism as an anthropological project but it really is and it’s really hard sometimes but we do our best. Hugs to y’all
I don't think the neuropsychologist who just assessed me saw my autism. Every video I watch, every comment I read, I know you are my people. I've known this for a couple of years now. I know the next step is getting involved with the local groups and work other autistic people more personally. But it's a bit scary.
You can do it, it is scary but going where your fear is is very powerful and can help you a lot. It helps me to think that in order to be brave, you need fear to overcome.
Also, most people are scared before they reach out but don't regret it if they do anyway.
@@cookiequeen5430 Thank you for your kind words. I'm not actually afraid in a way that would prevent me from going forward. It's more the kind of scary that is a new social context but also a bit higher stakes in regards to being welcomed and understood for who I am.
Yep, at 68 and just realising this explains my whole life. But then I think, finally - a club where I belong!
@@nongbloke Welcome to the club you always belonged in!
I'm currently in hospital after autistic burnout and mental overwhelm from 10 months of escalating stress. Your videos are helping me remember myself and find my peace again. Thank you
Can I ask how this manifested, this burnout after a period of stress.? Thank you for sharing, if feel able.
@@kt1696 going through the floods and losing everything I own, trying to find a new home and support in an overwhelmed market, with kids. The longer things dragged out the harder it got and the more things were lost
@@SheaDragonfae so sorry to hear your plight. I'm interested in your account because I have a loved one who broke down, it was very upsetting to see. 8 hope your situation turns around for you soon and you feel able to cope again. Thank you for your response...
Sorry to hear. The burnout is damn hard. Lots of love from this autistic stranger from a far. Hope you can recover in due time )as what’s best for you).
1. Attention to detail
2. Being persistent (hyperfocus)
3. Being creative
4. Being honest, authentic
5. Being non-judgmental
6. Being loyal
7. Being highly empathic
8. Extremely flexible
9. Strong sense of justice
This is a fantastic list! I resonate with ALL of them. Overly non-judgemental, overly empathetic, seeing things in a unique and creative way, very strong feelings about justice, extremely flexible, etc. I was a massage therapist with my own business for several years and these traits really served me well in my profession. I loved doing that. Had to stop when my fibromyalgia made it too difficult. 😢
I cried after watching this. I was just recently diagnosed at 30 years old.... And you described me perfectly... And so many of those things you said, my family had shunned me for. I am now able to embrace those traits. Thank you so much ❤❤❤
How did you get your diagnosis, if I may ask?
Non-judgemental & honest which, to me, presents as a genuine kindness. I’ve been watching your videos to help learn to better communicate with a man I adore who may be on the spectrum. I’ve learned so much helpful information from you. Thank you!
almost like being autistic means you have a more authentic experience. not to say NT's cant be genuine, but I do notice other autistic folks definitely lean more towards being understanding/trying to understand the world around them. which is awesome! I wish you best of luck on your journey ❤️
What you said about being flexible and making your own structure compared to the stereotype of being inflexible and needing rigid strucutre because of that actually makes a lot of sense with my experiences. Every time someone has tried to impose arbitrary structure on me because I'm autistic I've pushed back because *their* structure is wrong and suffocating, wheras when I make my own rules and structures for myself, those are fine. (worth noting that I'm also diagnosed with adhd which does change things a bit compared to just being autistic)
My favourite Autistic trait is 'strong emotions.' I know there's an downside to that one too but I still love the fact that whenever we feel good, we don't just feel good we feel just super joyful or excessively happy and that feels pretty amazing! 😃🥰❤💚💜💙 xo
I have co-morbid depression so I have no idea what you are talking about. We are all different. But I am glad that you found something about yourself that you like. That's great. Just don't overgeneralize.
OMG this is so incredibly true! Thank you so much for existing, and for creating this. I feel like a human being for the first time in my life.
Absolutely love how you think and how you broke this down, the black/white concept at the end was sublime.
persistance/stubbornness is a superpower. "Other planet syndrome" is also a personal superpower, in that it protects from gaslighting, but, it also has some comeback in the form of social disgust. I, personally am extremely glad to be autistic, and to be really out there, I think that a lot of current probs can be explained because we are moving from a more narcissistic society (globally) to a more autistic society. YAY!!!!
I (42F) just discovered I’m autistic within the last six months. I have always thought I was an alien. This list is so crazy to me. For the first time in my entire life I feel like I’m finally being seen.
#8 is interesting; the stereotype of being rigid and not liking change is more because people are expecting us to do what is expected/socially accepted and we do/prefer the opposite/something different and have no interest in doing what is expected, so we are "inflexible" from others perspective as we refuse to blindly follow the herd
What I love about your videos is that you don't just roll with the stereotypes. You name things that are so, so true but that not many really recognize because they're not the stereotypical attributes.
These points are spot-on for me. Regarding Number 7: I am highly empathic - it's not that I can't 'read' people, but that the lack of congruence between a person's outer demeanour and the inner feeling is deeply confusing, and what I 'receive' is what they're feeling.
Beautifully summarised, Paul.
This was one of your best videos! So much packed into it. Insights for the Aspie as well as those who know one. Thank you for doing what you do, Paul. REALLY. :)
So I´ve been on this journey of finding out about autism and if I myself am in fact autistic for about a month now. One of the things I at first saw as a sign I wasn´t autistic was the empathy thing. However, you perfectly describe my experience in your section about being highly empathic in this video; I always notice the smallest shifts in tone or if a person is sounding more stressed than the day before and I always feel like I am the only one who notices it. It´s always really hard for me to figure out if it is appropiate to mention it if I feel that someone isn´t doing fine but pretending to.
That was absolutely fantastic! I’m so glad you focused on the strengths and positive attributes of being autistic, yet you didn’t ignore the down side either. It was refreshing! I’ve watched other people describing their autism and totally dwell on the negative and how horrible it is. It’s pretty self evident for those who are not neurotypical that there are downsides to autism, so focusing on how awesome it can be to have autism was a huge help. Thank you!
If people were specific & honest, we'd all get along fine. No more feeling like you're Columbo, when you finally get the gist of a conversation you had 3 months ago!
No more ''Fetch my screwdriver from the shed!'', passing off as 'enough info'!
We could all save each other so much time & energy.
My son Has just recently been diagnosed and I have just watched your 63 traits of autism and had some good belly laughs cos I saw so many traits that I didn't realise was autism, but this video has really given me hope and faith that other people (in a work sense) will see benefit in these traits and kids/adults that have autism......THANK YOU! 100% subscribed x
My 19 y/o son is on the spectrum and shows all of these traits. He’s in college now, a published writer, and entirely focused on his creative career. He’s my first child and to this day he and I are extremely close. We seem to understand each other better than anyone else in the family does. The bluntness and overly honest communication style you touched upon is in full effect with both of us. We seem to be the only two who can say anything, however painful, out loud.
Like me he spoke in full sentences in two languages before he was 2, taught himself to read by 2.5, but showed remarkable difficulty handling crowds, noise, change, textures, and so on. I always saw the ASD in him but I never thought to turn the camera around on myself until now. I spent so many years masking and over compensating and then hiding in corners crying because I was so completely overwhelmed. I went to medical school (partly because everyone told me I couldn’t) and nearly did my head in trying to fit in with my fellow doctors. The only place I felt recognized was with my patients, who were poor, Spanish speaking, and terribly disadvantaged. I clashed with most of my professors except for the few who were like me. I went into family medicine in an underserved area of Los Angeles. I can claim all the traits you mentioned in your video. Those traits made me a highly diligent, well loved doctor, but they also created a spectacular emotional overload, burnout, and a miserable relationship with upper management and all of their inflexible rules. I was so miserable that I up and quit after 14 years with 2 weeks notice. I ended up making myself sick trying to make everyone happy while catching everyone’s emotions like the flu. My body ended up turning on itself and I was diagnosed with SLE (systemic lupus erythematosis) 9 years ago. I had to stop working and I haven’t gone back. I’m trying to find something to do for someone like me.
I was also going to mention that at one point I thought I might be psychic with my patients. I could walk into exam room and before a work was said I would know what was going on. Now I see that it was this hyper-empathic trait but at the time it felt like magic
I just found out about this channel, and I wanna thank you so much for making these videos about ASD.
I was diagnosed when I was 11 years old and I wasn't able to speak about it since a lot of people made me think I was sick or mentally ill, and for so many years, I kept quiet until now.
Now I'm studying psychology and Im pursuing for an educational focus on my career to help kids that struggle in school due to the educational system in my country and city.
People like you, spreading information about ASD in such an amazing way should be listened to even more.
This is a great list. I have seen many of these traits in those I know who have autism. These people are some of the most thoughtful, loyal, creative, giving, funny, honest, and kind people I know.
This is a great video, and I learned a lot.
I don't love the "different planet" model, although I understand it. I prefer the "different operating system" model!
Are we aliens or robots? That's the question.
I can relate to all of those traits, some to higher degrees than others. You have described brilliantly there why many autistics feel the way they do about flexibility. I had not come up with any real conclusions about it before, but it all makes sense now. This was a very good video and helps explain so much! Thanks.
It has been two years since this video. While watching it I was excited. Thinking I am knowledgeable about autistic traits, this information is eye opening and helpful. You discuss issues in a way that I can appreciate feeling better about myself. Thank you.
I have spent the last hour going through your videos nodding my head saying “yep I do that” or “Jesus that’s me” …. But this one was so spot on, I can’t think anything but “I knew it. Now what do I do?”
The last person I confided in said “I think your social anxiety and over talking and tics usually happen w “so and so because your uncomfortable with them. You don’t do it so much with me. I don’t think you can turn it off and on”. I dont know how to explain that she’s my comfort zone. I can be myself and say all the things in my brain and know she gets me. So I don’t need to think about what to say next or how uncomfortable I feel or am I making eye contact am I Sharing too much and stop touching your hair and face! All the things my brain is saying w other people. I’m almost 44 and I feel like i’m finally learning why I am the the way I am.
I found that the term "attention to detail" is often a bit misleading. The detail in question mostly sticks out because it doesn't fit into an understood system. It is more "attention to context".
Dear Paul, this video is the best of all!!
I am 59 and have just (informally but by a knowledgeable psychologist) been diagnosed with Asperger's. Suddenly so many things make sense, which they didn't before! This is quite liberating but also quite devastating. Your video has helped me enormously to cope with the stigma and the mourning, and has allowed me to feel pride of myself. It also was crucial in bringing the news to my father (who is 88) that he may be autistic. It allowed him to listen to the message (something which is anyway always very difficult for him), and clearly made him thinking. He said he recognized himself in all of the 9 points. My mother (83) also recognized him in this mirror and said that it was precisely his honesty that had made her fall in love with him. It also made a lot of sense with respect to many of our family members with strange conditions and strange behaviour. My uncle was thought to have suffered from meningitis during childhood, now I think he simply was autistic.
I know it’s completely offtopic from the video, but I love that your camera is processing the frames of you moving a littles lowly because it gives my brain a little more time to recognize the movements of your arms or hands.
I haven't been diagnosed to have ASD but I think 8/9 of these traits perfectly describe me. The only missing part the that I'm not highly empathic - I would label myself only somewhat empathic.
Incredibly informative! especially looking at the strengths and weaknesses of the traits
Every single person I've told I'm autistic has adamantly argued with me that I'm not while admitting that they know nothing about it other than from movies
This is the best perspective I have come across yet. I see every one of these traits in my son. At the end, you note that it is incumbent upon each individual to develop these traits to their advantage as each yin has it's yang. I think that without understanding, it is easy for a person to see these distinctions as a negative as they have so often alienated them from the people around them. Doesn't have to be that way. And you've made that more clear now. thanks.
I am still waiting for aliens to come to me one day and say: "You are on candid camera!"
It will be the best laugh of my life!
Thanks Paul, this is helping a lot with the people around me watching your videos and understanding at best our situation and how to behave accordingly.
I've only recently become aware of the fact that I am autistic. I've talked with a friend in the past about having "no filters" not really knowing what it was referring to. That's because we simply attributed that to both of us being intersex. But now I'm seeing that much of that is due to autism. I got a lot out of all of these but the being honest is so important. I have been accused of lots of different things from my brand of honesty like I'm rude and other not so nice comments. My best friend says I'm direct and in-your-face kind of person but he's not judging me for that.
As well, I see that number 9, A strong sense of justice has been a big part of my life. I've been interested and active in trade unions and co-operatives. It doesn't bother me to rock the boat. I need to continue to be aware of these autistic traits and how I can turn them all to my advantage.
Omg!!! Thank you so much for posting this. It is everything I am and think. I am awestruck. It makes me feel so much better. Thank you.❤
I believe every single point is me. Completely me. I think these are great qualities that sometimes get me into trouble, especially the being honest- sometimes too honest.
And life experience of (occassional) rejection means I can be empathetic and non judgemental, because I've been there. I am an artist. I'm good on my own, never bored. I'm more fulfilled than neuro typical. It can be exhausting though, I have to pace.
Thank you so much... it feels so good to hear something so positiv .. it makes me feel so much better
Honesty and Non-judgemental
Two traits I'm certain NT employers go out of their way to trip you up or make it a point how that's not how you're supposed to do things. One job I had, in the interview they asked how would I treat folk in the company and external partners. Like you Paul and not seeing the distinction (and sometimes refusing to because it goes against what I believe), I answered I wouldn't, I treat everyone with respect and patience. The employer hired me and said she loved that answer.
Fast forward to a couple weeks later, and I was speaking to one of the board members. Afterwards I was called into my boss's office, and reprimanded for being too friendly and saying mate and al too much. I swiftly told them you employed me BECAUSE I don't use social hierarchy as an arbiter to how I should talk to someone. They were not happy at all. But what was I supposed to do? Safe to say I got fired from that job.
This video is so healing.
I’m being misunderstood in my church group so much because of my different state of mind/brain. It hurts so much because they are supposed to be close to me since we have the same faith and are fighting for the same thing.
This video reminded me of the positive
Thank uou Paul, I really enjoyed the video. These 9 traits are very much appreciated. My favourite is honesty, because it is such a rare commodity!! Two people in my family have quite a few of these wonderful traits. I've never thought them autistic, but maybe they are!
I'll keep watching . 😊
Great video. I'm 65, not diagnosed yet but your 9 points, I would say that I see these traits to being very positive. I have recognised every one but only realised in the last year that I am autistic.
I like how honest I am. I have lied and I have let people believe what they want to, but I don't know what it feels like to pretend to be something I'm not. People talk about regretting lies, or letting the person they are dating see the real them, and I can't wrap my head around that. Dating is hard for me, because I can't conceal something for later, if I'm compelled to say something in the course of conversation it always comes out. People read too much into it, because they are always looking for hidden flaws and assume there must be more bad things I'm hiding and not that I'm pathologically honest
"Empathic" is spelled Emphatic.
I just discovered your videos today and love them. Thanks for making these!
Thanks a lot for your great videos, I love to listen to all of them! I have never been diagnosed but all nine traits and your explanations are like a mirror of how I am/feel, something that has not happened to me before to that extent…
Thank you for your videos, it helps me understanding a lot about myself. I was born in the 80s and had to learn how to function in society by myself as my aspberger was not diagnosed until recently. I am in the progress of reprogramming myself away from the in my opinion useless socially acceptable traits/ behaviours pounded into me as a child, these "skills" takes a lot of effort and energy from me. For the first time in my life I feel free to be myself and not feel like an alien.
There is a lot I still have to learn about myself but in this small time I have found myself feeling more at ease and "natural" not feeling forced to "follow the heard of sheep", my brain has started producing innovative ideas that to others around me seem like fiction, I hope as times goes on I can find a forum where my ideas is understood instead of questioned by things like "what kind of education do you have?", I have found that most people tend to relate intelligence and innovation to education and social status which is wrong. As a child I was severly bullied and outcast by other students and teachers so I stopped going to school, despite this I had the idea of the design of f117 before it was "released".
Educational system often teaches you how to think like someone else, but to make new things one must think in ways no one has before and there is no educational scripture for something like that. I struggle each day to accept my socioeconomical status but it is very often annoying, trying to accept others inability of in my mind rational thought leaves me frustrated. The quoute "Truth is stranger than fiction" is something I relate to very much, as something to me seems clear and rational it can seem like a pipedream or fiction to a NT.
I no longer have a wish to "be normal" as I have learned that to me it is restrictive and constricting, I just want to be the person I was born to be... Me...
So many people in my life have pointed out these things as weaknesses, but I've seen them as strengths.
This subject is of particular interest to me, as I have several autistic relatives, and it's really refreshing to have a recognition of some positive aspects of the condition. Some of the older generation have never been officially diagnosed, and lately, I've been wondering if it didn't apply to me. I have only ever considered the 'negative' aspects of my character - the awkwardness in social situations, the talent for saying or doing exactly the wrong thing, and an irrational dislike of using the phone (am I the only person on the planet who doesn't own a cellphone?). However, one positive/negative aspect had never actually occurred to me: I have an outstanding memory for words, and things I have read...but a dreadful memory for telephone numbers, names and faces, and a poor visual memory and route recollection (I frequently get lost!). I would not, however, consider myself naturally empathetic, though I do sometimes have an accurate 'intuition' of a person's true character, even when it's not obvious to everyone. As for asking for help, I shan't do anything about it, as I note from one of the comments that 'they' consider you to be beyond help by the time you get to my age (72)!
Just can't imagine the difficulty, good luck to you all !!!
FABULOUS VID
YOU HAVE ME TO A TEE ...
BIG RESPECT .. ITS GOOD TO HEAR AN EXPERT WHO REALLY GETS IT
Strong sense of justice. Perceived as a weakness by negative people. Empathic creative and attention to detail.
I actually feel that you have done a great job in putting across the aspects both as strengths and weakness. I mean you are so expressive and communicative to put all traits in one go and make us feel like we are worth something and have peace of mind for us/me. I would like to connect with our community and feel that, yes I'm not alone.
I just learned that I am autistic and all of these traits are so true for me too. Thank you for sharing
In some cases, superior senses! People often talk about "sensitivity" as if it's a matter of being unusually reactive to stimuli, when it in fact commonly arises from heightened perception, which can be a good thing despite the drawbacks. My hearing extends beyond the typical human range, capable of perceiving sounds too high, low, or quiet for most to notice. Yeah, I'll shoot you a dirty look if you drop something heavy, but after all, I can hear if you're phone's done charging from across the room or if a car turned onto my street.
All the traits he mentioned is sooo me! Every single one!
But even though I’m high functional, I’m also really dysfunctional at the same time.
Got my diagnosis when I sought help for depression over a terrible loss in my life, and they noticed me having autistic behavior traits and asked me if I was interested in them testing me of I was on the spectrum. I immediately answered “Yes!” because I already knew I was different and getting to know myself through a manual of myself sounded absolutely fantastic… I love love love manuals!!
I got diagnosed with both Asperger’s syndrome and ADD. And I really love knowing why I’m different and being able to work with myself and evolve as a person and also be able to explain why I act differently oftentimes.
Yep… I tend to over share sometimes. Haha
😏
I love your videos.
I see almost every traits in me, I don’t see me being creative.
My attention to detail comes only as a result of seeing the big picture. If i can't see all the moving parts interacting, i can't understand the thing. But once i see how everything interacts, i can tell you how one minute change will affect the whole system, down to the smallest part.
Your videos have helped me and my auspie friend so much! Thank you. Great work.
I fell in love with an autistic man and he feels good around me, I know how to make him feel safe. Now I listen to you and I have all these exact traits!
Thank you for this video. I needed the emotional boost today and the Algorithm suggested it. I'm now using most o these on my next resume as it never occurred to me to use some of them before.
All of these are so true. The sense of justice and always trying to improve and not letting up are strong ones. They tend to irritate the other people around, especially the not letting up. Although at some point complete burnout can enter picture.
I have all of those, but one difference is that I often tend to say things in cryptic ways that need to figure out what they mean. I find it fun. Haven't heard anything about that here.
I think many of these traits synergistically worked to make me an awesome RN in a Trauma ICU unit and graduating with a 4.0 GPA in college/nursing school... I'm just finding out these things at 62. Im trying to work with this now, insteading of hiding my quirks.
The honesty one is so true but it’s caused extreme and severe problems so have learned to withdraw.
Thank you 🙏 I really needed to hear that today.
Wow. Your videos are literally changing my life. Thank you.
Attention to detail: Empathic is not spelled "Emphatic"
YES!!! That was driving me crazy! 🤣
@@ZoeMagnes I was going to comment but I knew somebody else would've already!
Thanks for the video and never apologize for having high standards. If someone wants to have crappy standards, that is their business and their choice.
I've never related to something this much!!! Thank you for saying what I couldn't explain.
My favorite trait (which I didn't know was due to ASD!) is being nonjudgmental. I've been that way since early childhood--never seeing differences as something to fear, but rather something interesting.
It’s worth listening to understand and help such people form childhood.
11:20 wow! hit the nail on the head!
My persistence is borderline relentless
My bluntness I'll tend to try to hold back but it ends up eventually to me coming across as an A-hole when I've finally had enough
I do have some issues with sudden drastic change
Your videos ha e helped me better understand my HFS(High Functioning Savant)
Also your talk of poor treatment
I've had so much pain and suffering in my upbringing
But my work ethic has received nonstop praise
Just the head down "oh... is there a big pile of stuff to do? Eh, it'll be done rather quickly, just leave me to the task at hand and take what's been done accordingly."
I love you! No one has made more sense to me about believing myself as on this Spectrum. Thanks!
And I met Temple Grandin twice and adore her, but you are like me!
I have to say, this is a brilliant insightful inspiring video. Very clever too. I'll share with my autistic buddies.
So insightful and well articulated......cheers mate.
Thank you for your videos. I don’t feel so alone now. This explains a lot . People don’t like it when I name the elephant in the room though. Society would rather be fake than authentic. I love the non judgmental bit, I’ve always been like this.
I think we are just authentic and real and society wants us to be fake. Thank you for your videos. I love them. Xx
Woah. Spot on for everyone of these, and reasoning* is the same. Example: Not following the hierarchy as we are all valuable. Super upsetting. Example: Sticking on one thing. That tends to be a topic, especially if something is not resolved and is a fairness issue.
My favorite part of autism is that when compared to what should logically take place, we are the wild cards of possibilities. It's like a secret super power. I love surprising (and sometimes shocking) people. Sometimes I think it's necessary when you get a chance to prove a stuffy elitist or crabby Scrooge person wrong. In that way I think we make life better and worth living!!💗
Laughing and crying because this is me 🤣 my whole life. And I've always wondered why I can't fit in anywhere
I'm so loooving this! Thanks man I'm a big fan! I have ADHD and Bipolar 2 and is really kinda weird too. Now I'm trying to understand my kid who has ASD and ADHD. This clears up lots of autistic traits and we are now more appreciative. Thank you! ❤️🙏
TW : upsetting mention of stigma
I grew up with so much stigma around autism. My parents would only ever make it out to be a bad thing. But god I’m so grateful for this community online
As someone who has ADHD and whose wife is on the spectrum, I can tell you that it isn’t just neurotypical people who learn 60% and then go with it. My wife has pointed out that I will talk about something with conviction but I really haven’t put in the hours of study.
I love how you said something along the lines of, "I can't let it go if I know it could be better." That's exactly how I am, much to the irritation of those around me, lol.
I love the way you explain things. You are the best I've heard. Thankyou.
“I actually NAME the elephant in the room that everyone else knew wasn’t supposed to be talked about”. Well said!! 👍👍🐘
I used to get in trouble for this all the time as a kid.
tracy did u used to goto raves?
I used to put people off by swearing a lot, when I was younger. I'm not sure if that's quite the same as honesty. There might be some overlap with being non-judgemental and authentic. I don't judge other people for swearing either, and listen to what they have to say. A lot of people think it's acceptable to shut someone down for swearing.
@@Rollwithit699 I'm older, myself, and educated enough to express myself without swearing most of the time. Of course, there's also a difference between swearing at someone and swearing in their presence. Swearing at someone is always rude and aggressive. It's often the case that people choose to take offence at bad language as a way of minimising the other person's right to be angry. I say that because my observation is that people make a huge fuss of not minding in the slightest when they hear bad language from someone that they rank above them socially. Correcting someone who's speaking what's honestly on their mind is another way of asserting some sort of pecking order. It's also a feature of British culture that most people swear more amongst people that they consider their equals, and especially among friends. From an autistic perspective, I'm quite blind to hierarchies. I don't have any problem with authority with people who have legitimate authority, but I'm hyperaware of games around pecking order.
Haha truth
1. Attention to detail
2. Being persistent
3. Being creative
4. Being honest
5. Being non-judgemental
6. Being loyal
7. Being highly empathetic
8. Extremely flexible
9. Strong sense of justice
Everything he is saying sounds like me
@@rogerpettersson8836 Ok
Sounds like God
@@Tamerahoney haha. You are right 🤣
🤔🤔🤔😱🤯🤯 oh what a revelation you are truly gifted in your messaging! 😊
My grandson was diagnosed as autistic about 14 years ago. My daughter once told me he got it from me which annoyed me at the time. Since then I think my son also has autism but, like me, he hasn't been diagnosed. When I first realised I fitted 90%of the criteria for autism I rang the autistic association for help. I was told that I've lived with it for more than 60 years and have obviously learned coping mechanisms and it was too late for help. Once I accepted I was probably atheistic many things in my life fell into place. Of all the things you mentioned in the video I can relate to al but one. My pet peeves are injustice, dishonesty and needless secrecy! Keep up the good work for poor 72 year old folks like me.
"It was too late for help" Wow, what aholes those guys were. Everybody, no matter what age, deserves help.
Wow, that's ageism. It's never too late for help and support.
I "figured it out" last year and I'm 79! I'm really grateful to have this information even at this late date. As you say, knowing I have Asperger's has helped me to understand my life in hindsight and to enjoy more going forward.
John, you said, “I was probably atheistic”. Maybe you’re that, too, but I think you meant autistic.
So interesting...thank you for sharing✌️
Thank you for this video, it made me feel a lot better about myself
Right? I'm so grateful that we now have a platform to discuss things like this... 20 years ago autism was not something that was discussed.
@@jeffinetlyjeffbi9770 yh
Me too. Like---yes--finally someone gets me.