Internalised Racism Revisited: Love Is Blind Season 4 Kwame & Chelsea
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- Опубліковано 5 сер 2024
- Therapist analyses the relationship between Kwame and Chelsea based on personality types and cognitive functions.
If you would like to find out your personality type and have counselling sessions on you and your relationships, book a session with the link below :)
calendly.com/drcherietypes
linktr.ee/drcherietypes
In this video, I also elaborate on the following personality types and how their cognitive functions correlate with relationship chemistry and behaviour:
Fi introverted Feeling, Fe extraverted Feeling,
Te extraverted Thinking,
Se extraverted Sensing,
ISFP, ENTJ
00:00 Intro
00:42 Kwame: Rejected & Repressed
01:50 Consolation Prize
03:58 Stockholm Syndrome
04:37 Why It's Internalised Racism
08:10 Kwame Is Not Shake
08:54 The Aspiration Pair
09:37 Te Extraverted Thinking
10:02 Te Inferior Compromises
11:07 Chelsea Guilt Trips
11:37 Chelsea: Goals Over Feelings
12:17 Aspirations Can Suppress Each Other
12:51 Book A Session
#16personalities #loveisblind #relationshipadvice
Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counsellor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion on the channel. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Viewers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action.
I highly recommend Dr Cherie for individual typing, she helped me understand myself so much better and accept myself. It's literally made my life easier and better.
Dr Cherie, another great video! If you're thinking if you should make them more often, please do! :)
A question: being Fe myself I struggle to understand how Fi works. I thought someone with dominant Fi function would always choose what they feel is right for them, no? Or would that be the case here if he weren't so conditioned to compromise and if she wasn't Te dominant?
@tashenkas - thank you for sharing, I am interested in a session! How did Dr. Cherie type you, do you do a questionaire beforehand, or does she ask you questions during the session?
Choosing is one thing, actioning it requires Se or speaking about it, Te. Kwame does speak to Chelsea about his feelings but they were dismissed immediately. Compromising is not type dependent. But how you compromise and knowing your functions will give insight if your decisions come from a clear mind or stressed one.
I analyze clients during the session. I ask them open ended questions. It’s known in social experiments that self testing is self biased towards what you want to be than what you really are.
@calmingbabysleep1256 Booking details are provided in this link calendly.com/drcherietypes
I immediately noticed his framing was "because he's black" not "because they're racists".
YES! I've been waiting for this comment.
I don't believe he, along with the majority of black men would think like this, because they don't see whites as the enemy(even with hundreds of years of undeniable in your face evidence) but their blackness as the enemy. It is TRULY SAD! The majority of these self-hating black men think like this.
🎯🎯🎯
Self loathing at it’s finest. He sees his Blackness as the problem and only the acceptance of a white woman can heal him.
…wypeepo. Always in their feelings about the world they’ve created.
Girl, don’t be nervous to discuss. You ate with this analysis.
Ate and left no crumbs. She succinctly summed up everything many us have been feeling but couldn't language.
Lmaoooo
😂😂😂 y’all are funny
Saw this comment first and knew I was in for a treat haha!
She probably understood more be she’s she’s Asian. A white person probably wouldn’t be able to understand the race dynamic
This is deep, too deep 🔥🔥🔥 thanks for making this. I'm especially grateful as a black woman because it helps put to words what we see, but are gaslighted to believe we are just "jealous".
I am a white woman and I wrote a very similar analysis on redid a few weeks ago
Facts 💯
Facts !!
PREACH!!!!!
‼‼‼‼
Dayummmmm as a Black woman I approve this message. I hope he gets to see your analysis.
☆☆☆☆☆
Was coming to say the same thing.
Chile. You’re spot on.
Kwame doesn't need to watch this, he was saying everything shes saying the whole show, its Y'ALL thats lacking common sense, like seriously what show were Y'ALL watching 🧐🤔😑
@@josephselfmade1 awww sweetie you don’t have to support a black guy dating a white woman just so you won’t be called angry or bitter. You can just be silent
@psychomammiescaught1109 awwwe the goofy clown tried making sense but it didnt work 🤣😂😭😭🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
OMFGGGGG AS A BLACK MAN LADY YOU WENT TF OFF AND TOLD NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!!!
No need to take God's name in vain.
@@nadiar.7788 You sound bitter cuz I never used that word silly, relax!
@@nadiar.7788 If the person is not religious then they are not taking the name in vain.
@@jaxcoss5790 umm lol that’s completely not true. Y’all say anything to make yourself feel better about your degeneracy. God exists whether you are “religious” or not. That’s what you delusional ones seem to forget. You don’t live in reality
@@deelowCali Awwh they triggered you with the truth. Nothing was bitter about what they said and your response is completely immature and makes no sense. You used it in a comment here that’s what they were referring to. If you don’t say it you wouldn’t say it at all even in a comment on social media.
Why are we feeling bad for Kwame and vilifying Chelsea? Her expectations are completely valid, the show is about marriage!!! She can’t leave Seattle, which is fair. And Kwame using his own trauma to trick Chelsea into believing he loves her and wants to marry her - while flirting openly with another woman - is harmful for them both.
Amen. He's a grown man.
No we are not feeling for Kwame and we are not vilifying Chelsea. We sympathise with Kwame in the sense that he has not healed from his trauma and does not appear to want to. Chelsea can obviously see that he is hesitant about marrying her but proceeds anyways because she desperately wants to settle down without noticing the obvious red flags. The purpose of the show is to find someone to marry, but you do not have to marry if you have not found said person. I do not think the marriage will last because they want each other for the wrong reasons.
Right. It's mind boggling, but that's what usually happens with self assured women. All of a sudden he has no agency.
Anyway, I can already tell that when they get divorced, Chelsea is going to be put thru the ringer.
@Eva Chuba giod job Eva. The problem with ppl like Candice is that they can't see past their hate of men to actually analyze the trama both of them demonstrate and utilize against each other.
@@tango4785 LOL! Calling a man out who is disregarding his wife and flirting with another woman is not "hate of men". It is an individual - Micah is just as bad in her role here. I guess I hate women now too. Stop it.
My point is, MAN OR WOMAN, trauma does not give you license to do harm to others without accountability.
As an African woman, SPEAK UP! When it is coming from us, they will down play it. I was speaking about this with an Asian friend of mine.
Exactly! TBT
That’s not true. Stop taking the black American victim trope! Stop it!
You know damn well my african mom went straight like „ah ah he ain’t happyoohhh“😂😂😂
@@originalMissV 😂😂😂😂😂
The Asian women narrating hates black males it's so obvious.
Kwame feels like someone who’s created this persona to be the “acceptable black” and he’s so far removed from who he is, he’s lost himself completely. I don’t get any sense of authenticity when he speaks. I even found his interactions with his siblings strange and cold, but he could have been nervous. It’s just his siblings were so warm and he was not, but if Chelsea’s family had been in that room with them, he would have had a bunch of fake laughs and smiles. he would have been more animated. how he spoke to his mom like he’s drafting an email was also bizzare. That man decided he’s going to appeal to whiteness and he’s now an empty shell. he reminds me of my brother who married a white women for the same validation but he’s miserable bc she calls ALL of the shots, she makes more than he does, and is apparently diagnosed bipolar. The other brother made three different white women his baby mamas, smh. Honestly they’re not great partners and they’re not honest with themselves and lack maturity so black women certainly aren’t missing out on anything with men like this 😂
🎯🎯🎯
Yes... .he gives me "empty shell " vibes. It's sad and I hope one day he finds out who he is and LIVES it.
“I don’t get any sense of authenticity when he speaks” 100% every time he speaks, I cringe. He sounds like a youth pastor/Ted talker. It’s always a performance, it always feels prepared. It’s funny you mentioned your brother because watching Kwame, I saw my brother in him and it’s something that I noticed he does. I call him “the mayor” because of it. Our parents took us to a white church (terrible idea) as kids and I left but he stayed and became everyone’s black best friend and as a result is that more so than a person. He’s starting to grow out of it but it’s still there.
So a black man has to become the stereotypical black man to be seen as black? Okay got you.
@Babydoll What is a stereotypical Blackman?
Kwame is the exact stereotype of BM who are with WW for validation and trying to avoid their Blackness because they feel that Black is less than. You did an excellent job!
They don't want to admit it though. It ruins their fragile sense of self
@Documentary's Documented She's not pointing that out, one of the concerns here is that he settled for someone he didn't really want, he doesn't look happy, he's constricted, he lacks self worth. It's not about black woman, we are not his preference, and that's okay.
You are right. ALL BM THAT ONLY DATE WW ARE SELF HATING MENTALLY ILL❗️HE WANTS TO BE WHITE❗️and WW like this knows exactly what she is doing to manipulate to get what she wants because she knows as a WW she will always have the power in this relationship
@Documentary's Documented spot on. I so agree with your push back on her left wing crap
@@MrRealJamm there is nothing left wing about it 💀💀💀 y’all bring politics into things to deflect from the truth.
You're not someone that simply chose a career, you were born to do this. I mean you're REALLY good.
Thank you for your kind words - I am beyond flattered 🥹
Kwame doesn't look happy - his words and actions show this.
Most Black men who think and act like Kwame aren't happy. And the sad thing about it is that they take their rage, anger, and self-loathing out on Black women and children.
As a BW, I was nervous about your analysis, but you nailed it! Even the fact that he adopts the phonetic pronunciation of his name most non-Africans use (hard E at the end) instead of correcting people is so sad. He just wants to assimilate that badly.
The collective self hate of black males is mind boggling.
@Lé Chic I didn't express or imply hate. He represents so many non-whites and it's very sad.
@@nakiatexas10 I'm agreeing with you...
"Even the fact that he adopts the phonetic pronunciation of his name most non-Africans use (hard E at the end) instead of correcting people is so sad. He just wants to assimilate that badly."
This comes from self hate.
@Lé Chic Oh ok, gotcha! It was phrased as I was hating, so I was confusion lol
@@ibabechanel You cannot blame them. Boys are more eager to belong at a younger age than girls. And even more eager to be accepted and considered valuable by the opposite sex at a younger age. Self hatred starts from kindergarten when they want to play with other children. It becomes even more apparent in MIDDLE school and high school, where cliques are formed. And if you do not have a solid healthy home environment, high school is a breeding ground for self hatred for a lot of black people, especially black males. This is why many drop out.
As a black woman, his need of acceptance into spaces that don't welcome him disgusted me.
Yeah I'm out of empathy for this type of BM, immigrant or not. They lack basic self esteem and it's pathetic really
@@brianal7143 ish is sickening
@@korionterivers9995 Aba & Preach? 🤣😂 I couldn’t help it, I heard it in his fake accent. I’ll take myself to bed now…
Worst of all in Seattle 🚮
If his black women were maybe less militant and showed a bit more nurturing and feminine traits, perhaps he wouldn't end up on a show like that looking to be accommodated by a race that supposedly doesn't welcome him.
Black women are the worst for trashing their own black men and that's why it's so easy for other races to attract them and why there is a rise in passport Bros.
So the irony in your comment here is pretty interesting to say the least.
These two have successfully rewritten their "love story" during the reunion. Im not buying it from them, but they're both content with lying to themselves.
Nothing seems real about their relationship.
Never bought what they were selling. They will get a divorce. He is not happy. She s having a relationship with fantasy self
Finally someone said it! I've noticed how people are saying "wow they have really worked together, they are so in love" and in my eyes I just see these 2 acting. I don't what's worse, the fact they are are putting up a front for the world to convince people they are very much in love , or the fact that they are putting up a front so they don't see each other's reality and their true emotions for one another.
I posted this comment elsewhere but under your observant comment is a perfect place to repost it:
Kwame and Chelsea are in clean-up mode and trying to get the people to buy into the image of this perfect interracial love story they can monetize so he's doing damage control so they can clean up their brand but Chelsea is the mastermind of their whole trajectory. That's why you see her sitting back not saying a word. Their relationship is so for clout. They're both faking it but they're going to get that interracial influencer bag anyway because people are currently obsessed with all things interracial. Chelsea had a plan before she got in the pods. I mean she went shopping for the Calvin Klein underwear to bring to LIB with her mother that she was going to shoot those engagement photos in before she even arrived. She's extremely calculating and her mother probably trained her to be that way (Kris K teas). She had it all planned out.
Kwame is weak and desperate for white validation so he's easy to lead in any direction. Chelsea has a very domineering and manipulative personality that she hides well. He definitely would have preferred to be with Micah but he's not the type that gets what he wants because he's weak but Chelsea is the type that knows how to get what she wants. She came for a black husband who can give her mixed children so she could come up and monetize the whole situation including the children and nothing was going to stop her from achieving those goals including being the one Kwame settled for. Kwame came for fame and white validation through marriage to a white woman. This isn't about love on either side but people link for all kinds of reasons in the real world. Love a lot of time is not why people get together. I'm sure they'll have a good time selling their relationship though. Kwame now has a constant source of white validation and Chelsea gets to enjoy and monetize her fetish right in our faces while being celebrated for it. Following the Kim K blueprint
You're right. And Vanessa shamed and mocked the viewers for pointing out how unhappy and tense he looked throughout their whole relationship.
Another black woman here. You nailed it 🎯
As a Black man, you hit everything many Black people felt about him.
Brett was the best guy on this show, he seemed to have his head screwed on right. He had no weird insecurities, self hate or inferiority complexes. He and Tiffany were the best couple.
aka he ended up with a black woman
Brett and Kwame are not the same. Just because they are both black men doesn't mean they had the same experience. They come from completely different world's.
@@MJ31579 I never said they were the same!
@@jamesmarshall1567 not what I meant, it doesn’t matter what race Brett ended up with he still is a man who had no complexes or self hate! period.
Tbh Brett is the first black man I’ve seen on the show that seems well-adjusted and comfortable in his own skin. Even if he picked a non-BW, I feel like it isn’t out of a deficit, but due to his genuinely liking the person.
Before even starting the video, girl you’re 100% on this man. A loooooot of black men are out here acting like this
Seeing my fair share of black women acting like this too, id say its black people in general.
@@FrostbitexPno, it’s mostly the men. BW tend to be more proud of their race
@@kelsilulu you're right. That's why black women tend to only want to be with black men
@@StunningSilken you're very angry. You need to ask yourself why.
What are your data about that?
This was deeply insightful and so helpful to someone who couldn't understand why Kwame triggered me deeply. I knew that it was more than just his lack of authenticity. I am an Asian-American adoptee who also self-rejects a lot and I got a lot of clarity with this video... thank you.
Wow. I hope this is the beginning of your healing journey. A lot of kids from my culture get adopted by white families and completely end up losing their identity. The families do nothing to help them stay in touch with their culture and it hurts my heart to see this. I hope your experience was different.
@@solochica81 mine was not different but I actually started healing the identity aspect of adoption trauma during the quarantine when I taught myself how to cook Korean food. It was profound, which might be hard to understand unless you grow up adopted and not represented by the people around you. I also had a lot of traumas during my time in my homeland before being adopted and in adulthood… so that’s all been a part of my healing journey, as well. So, I always put race and identity on the back burner from healing (because of the other stuff I was paying attention to), and that’s why this video was so helpful in peeling back and exposing this layer. I don’t think people understand how much race, identity and belonging are a vital part of our overall well being- unless it’s something you struggle with. Thanks for your kind words and concern 💖
As a black woman, my opinion is that you're SPOT ON with this assessment.
I'm incredibly pleased that you were able to suss this out.
You've just earned yourself a new subscriber. I can't wait to watch your other assessments.
I'm a BW and TOTALLY agree with you 100% I'm did not feel any prejudice from analysis at all. Great job. New subscriber 😊
This made so much sense and clarified what I was feeling watching the show. At first I felt like Kwame was a jerk, but then he grew on me. He and Chelsea still seem like an odd couple that works, but then doesn’t and I wonder how long he’ll stay with her and be unhappy. He ended up with her because she wanted him and he wanted to be wanted by someone like her. It’s weird.
"At first I felt like Kwame was a jerk, but then he grew on me."
Same!! When he started to talk openly about his feelings, fears, experiences, he felt very authentic to me. And he also expressed these things (his fears and hesitations) very respectfully to her. I started to really like him! ☺️
(It was painful to watch how Chelsea blatantly ignored his expressed feelings because, I think, she didn't want to lose him and was scared to do so if she validated his fears and arguments etc. Not a good move ... I hope this changes, or it will not end well. 🤞🏽)
Go with your first thought. He is a JERK(based on his actions during the experiment). He has no more sincere interest in Chelsea than this furniture I'm sitting on does. When she showed him how desperate she was, her family appears to have some 🤑, he thought I can fake my way through this, can't I? My question is, how long can he fake it? How long will it be before he can't stand the sight of her or the sound of her voice ?
THIS.
Personally I don't feel bad for black men like him. You can tell he's one of those black man who feel like he's too good for black women and stereotypes us. He's probably never dated a black woman in his life and this is a pathology that a lot of black men have. I don't feel bad for him in the slightest. If he wasn't so intently focused on dating white women only he wouldn't have a problem with not being able to pick his girlfriend up for prom because her family is racist. These type of men are so low level and filled with an internalized self hatred.
@@AriElite111 preeeeeachhhhh. nothing has ever been more factual, articulate, and discerning!!! like bruh
Recently, I discovered your videos and am fascinated, and this topic is one we rarely discuss. I noticed this with Kwame as soon as he brought up changing his name and could tell he clearly has a type - a trophy in his view. It's interesting to compare his coping mechanism with Zach - both feel like outsiders and look for validation in very different ways.
Excellent point and their coping mechanisms fits their personalities very well. Zach's last function is Fe so he needs someone aligned with his tribe's values. Kwame's last function is Te so needs someone impressive.
Bingo 💯💯💯
I also want to say that Kwame's issues were absolutely compounded because of the intra-racism that is rife in the Black community especially in those that experienced a history of chattel slavery and everything that followed. He very well could have experienced rejection and ostracization from Black people in the West due to colorism and featurism. Internalized racism causes some to seek white validation and others to project their self hate onto others and I'm pretty sure Kwame experienced those terrible projections at some point. I wish him peace and healing. He seems like such a sweet and genuinely good person
I highly doubt his experiences with black people is the cause of this. He mentioned he couldn’t pick up his white girlfriend to prom bc he was black, that experience is due to racism, nothing to do with black people. he also never spoke of anything that happened with other black people. We heard him want to refer to himself as Alex, to once again appeal to whiteness. Knowing that by doing that, he could be risking meeting a racist, and still wanted to do that. Kwame has black siblings. There are a lot of nigerian immigrants in the USA and featurism and colorism is more so prominent in the aa community and not the African immigrant community. the motivation when he speaks doesn’t seem like it stems from hurt from ppl who look like him, it’s wanting desperately to appeal to those who don’t. So I wouldn’t project this into black people when nothings been said to support that.
@@sashav.3189
Very well said! In other words, he's just another self-hating black man. The majority of them are like this in the diaspora. It is a pity they can't use this desperate energy and focus to build up their black communities and create resources for themselves, their women and children. Very very sad.
Black women experience the same so why are we still choosing Black me?
What are you saying? Colorism has always been around. Black men started colorism and it will continue to exist. TBT
@@sashav.3189 Exactly! There many Black mammies trying to justify this Black man's colorism. TBT
As a fellow Ghanian I understand our parents are tough.. So much ridicule growing up you question everything.
As a Ghanaian I understand this. 🇬🇭
Ww here...is that bullying?
@@jaylenefarrell7175 Kinda
That must suck
I'm sorry U go thru that.Think its worse when it's from your own blood
@@jaylenefarrell7175 We see it as normal, unless you get years of therapy. Only then, can you say yeah one day at a time.
Your breakdowns are flawless. I really appreciate how they stimulate my mind.
"I need a white family to adopt me" 😂
Black men are the least desired based on looks, intelligence, and marriage. They are only good at fornicating with multiple women, making multiple baby mamas, making multiple out-of-wedlock babies, abusing women and children, and abandoning them. The collective of Black men only live for food, sex, entertainment, drugs, and violence. The late actor, John Wayne, was correct when he said that Black men are like children who need the White man to take care of them. John Wayne spoke no lie. TBT
If the genders were switched in this relationship, and everything else would remain the same ( cultural background, jobs, family, ), a white man saying and doing everything Chelsea is saying and doing , but in this case to a black woman, this would be so concerning to me, I would tell the woman to run away asap (I still thing Kwame has to run away), but I guess for some people is not as bad as it looks. Chelsea is having a relationship with her own fantasy of marriage and what love looks like for her, and Kwame has no choice to jump in to this fantasy of hers because every time he tries to bring her back to reality with real questions and concerns, her fantasy is threatened, and she kinda gaslights him in a very "loving way", so he has no choice but continue in the delusion bus with her and her fantasies. But this is just my personal opinion.
My same thoughts 💭
Well put. Kwame will run when he wakes up suddenly and realises he cannot feel anymore. He will become so numb to feeling. In this moment, he will walk away from the relationship. Poor Kwame. I felt for him. He needed healing first before embarking on such a show.
This is interesting... I don't see it that way at all.
If he wasn't so self hating, he could pull the steering back himself. I'm sure if this wasn't a white woman who's giving him validation, acceptance etc. of the part of himself he despises the most he would be less forthcoming. He submits because that is what he wants above all.
I totally see Kwame going out for a pack of cigarettes or a carton of milk in the future.
that was on point, I think most of the black community caught that as soon as we saw him lmao
Legit. We clocked him 1st scene.
Incredible! So this is why black men marry white women! Hmmm! Thank you!😎
there are so many black men like him, not hard to spot.
@@samuisun6684 👄👅👅👅👅👅👅👅🍌🍌🍌🍌🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅
@@samuisun6684 Right!!!!!! He comes with a sign that says : I hate myself
What an amazing analysis. As a Black woman; we intimately know of these types, but to everyone else- their mental health seems to fall off their radar. You did very well.💕
Exactly!
Kwame’s mum telling him that he should have used he’s head, when that’s (probably) the only thing that drived the dude to Chelsea 🤯
I hope Kwame watches this.
Why ?
He seems like he has some self hate. So he’s willing to settle with Chelsea because he wants anything proximal to whiteness. So if one white womanhood rejects him, he’ll cling to the white woman who accepts him. It’s self validation for him. He’s not typical of the African family. We are close and have a great sense of community and family. My hubby is white and I didn’t date many white men before him. I was shocked when he proposed, I’m still very much immersed in my African background and identity.
Why were you shocked when he (a white man) proposed? Would it have been as surprising if he were black?🤔. Let's go easy on Kwame
He’s typical of an African who moves to the US especially at a young age. They don’t have their identity yet and then they come to the US and it dawns on them that they’re black, and black is really not a good thing.
Why were you shocked when he proposed??
Maybe she meant , she was shocked when kwame proposed?
@@strawberrymatcha2307 i love how you immediately assumed I was shocked when my husband proposed because he was white 🤦🏾♀️
What are the reasons why people are shocked and surprised when people propose? What does that have to do it’s race?
Stop the ignorance.
Great analysis Dr. As a black woman, I've also thought that part of the drive for ALL men of color to date white women is to be on par with their white male counterparts. Men are naturally competitive which is great and miscegenation is the most expeditious and most visible way to demonstrate that they are "just as good" as white males.
Very good point
It's simpler than that. The competition is a front, these guys don't want to be the target of the dominant males by being less than
Omg. That was revealing.
* Falling in love with your capture.
* Hostage
* White supremesy
* Adobted by a white family.
Your excellent.
Kwame was particularly triggering to watch for me as a Black man. As you so eloquently pointed out, his resignation to and wild embrace of white supremacy culture was on vivid display. I feel for him, truly. I wanted to scream, “your problem isn’t that you couldn’t pick your prom date up b/c of your race, it’s that you run toward whiteness out of rejection of your blackness.” Truly sad for anyone in such self-conflict.
Spot on!!!
I am a black man and I have none of the issues you and allot of black women think of black men. I grew up in a family with my mom and my dad and I love them dealy my mom has sence passed. My mothers passion to help all people of differen races was beatiful. She was a believer of Jesus Christ a missionary and a nurse. The woman I married is the woman who I associated with the most, who reminded me of my mother. She so happends to be of European decendent. We have been happiy married for 22 years and have 3 teenagers.
When Paul says, “Do not be unequally yoked,” he means first, that we should not associate with believers who don't actually live for Jesus, and second, that engaging in any sort of intimate relationship or partnership with someone who does not let Jesus be the center of their lives will ultimately lead to our demise (2 Cor 6:14). We must cut ties with whatever or whomever leads us to darkness. Wether that person is African or European.
@@wlg8744 it feels such comfort hearing how black men easily and willing want to date outside their race, if black men only knew how it is being a good black woman seeking love, and wanting to have it from men of your race, its hard because many black women want their children to be black, to look like them. But black men always are the first to see outside their race and eagerly. Something about this doesn't seem right, but people are free to do what they want.
I appreciate this so much! After reading so much Kwame hate on social media, I would ask myself why people didn’t listen to him. He always told us who he was! An intelligent immigrant with deep struggles to make his mother happy by being traditional against his deep need to live his own life freely. One key thing he said early on was he didn’t date or have a girlfriend until he was in college! This statement told me so much about him. Kwame was absolutely torn to pieces inside. Everything you said was true! Micah’s toying with his emotions & final rejection +cruel teasing affected him deeply. It’s all stemmed from past rejection and humiliation which made him look foolish on camera. I recognized the deeper issues that were driving this man! I believe that he and Chelsea are happily married today though. I’m really happy to see it!
Great POV. He was honest about his struggles and it was still cringe to watch. He has a lot to work through around his self worth and at the end of the day Chelsea is a much better choice than Micah. Micah would have destroyed him and break his soul daily if they ended up together. I hope that man heals cause his issues are deep. Kwame wears a mask to move through this white-centered world he moves in. I hope being around Brett and Marshall will help him to learn how to ground and love himself as a black man.
I agree with everything you said except that he's currently happily married. He is still in his same old pattern of compromising. He is doing all of this not for himself but to avoid conflict with others.
@@mystuff8579 I can definitely respect your point on this.
I can't see why there is hate directed at Kwame. I haven't seen it, but I take your word you have seen it. What is there to hate?
One can live freely, by loving yourself first. This guy value white skin more than how he values himself
This is such an important breakdown, and you brought it very clearly. The fact that subconscious beliefs and how you actually feel can continue to clash like this during adulthood is mindboggling. You feel so powerless but at the same time you're the only one that can choose differently.
Suppressing Kwame's feelings explains why we, as the audience, feel so uncomfortable watching his nervous laughter in response to her logic. I'm a female ENTP, so I understand how uncomfortable some people are with extroverted thinking, not to mention that intuitive cherry on top.
The best analysis of this couple I've ever seen. When you replaced Seattle with Chelsea? Whooo 🔥🔥
"Replace Seattle with Chelsea." Ooowee. That was deep.
Literally was like 😐
He fell in love with his captor: colonialism and white supremacy♥️🙌🏾…I love this because as an African living in Africa, I see this constantly with my people. Mental decolonisation is a long arduous process, but very necessary for us to have pride in and love for ourselves.
I definitely feel that Kwame was very uncomfortable with the fact that Chelsea was well read and embraced his family and culture so well. Which is why he wanted Micah. However I think he also sees the fact that Chelsea never looked at other possibilities and sort of ‘latched on’ so quickly. I think for her, she felt pressure to ‘go ahead and get married’, even though her family wasn’t rushing her. It’s as if, this was the ‘one last thing’ she needed to make her life ‘perfect’. And that’s what made Kwame hesitant, along with shifting his life.
Micah is more traditionally attractive than Chelsea by white beauty standards. I know Kwame didn't know that to start, but he found out. Her personality was also more subtle and less dominant than Chelsea's. Chelsea was desperate and aggressive.
tbh, I felt as if she noticed he was the easiest to prey on, because he craved validation and desperately wanted it from white people. She latched on because her predatory instincts..... which we all have to some extent was sharp. I dont think the other men would have married her tbh. She love bombs and not many people except insecure people are comfortable with that.
Watching the show it seemed like Chelsea put her foot down and refused to let Kwame have or process his feelings around Micah. Even with her family it seemed like it was edited to appear that her family didn't let him speak either. In the reunion the couple insisted that they were happy together and the show didn't show how close they were. To me it seemed like Chelsea was controlling and pushing her agenda. Wonder how long he will be willing to be what Chelsea wants him to be. True it is intoxicating to have someone obsessed with you for awhile but not at the expense of being your true self.
The fact the Quamie won't move whatsoever outside of his preference means it's not just a preference he has but internalize hatred. This definitely confuses his family, why would he chose women from a group that has rejected him so much when we have an abundance of women from our culture who won't
That part!!
You handle the situation with the upmost care and with a great analysis on both couples.
I still think Kwame came up with all these stories instead of just being honest and state his preference so he wouldn’t be cancelled 😢
Ok you're the 2nd therapist that analyzed this with the same answers. I didn't have the psychological terms but I noted most of the stuff said. As a black woman myself ....he meets the definition for internalized racism I didn't know what it was but thats it! I knew it from the moment he wanted to introduce himself as "Alex".
Just to clairfy, his full name is Alex Kwame Owusu Ansah Appiah. "Kwame" is a day name that Ghanaian parents choose to show he's born on a Saturday. But that segment still says something about how he recognizes that whichever name he chooses to go by will turn into an identity game whether he likes it or not. Either name still makes him have to struggle with how he's racially and ethnically to be perceived and be expected to perform.
whats the other therapist analysis?
That was so good! Especially understanding Chelsea. It makes so much sense. I wanted the rest of the function breakdowns.
This was excellent, Dr. You nailed it ! As a black woman , I cosign everything you analyzed!
I'm a black woman, and I totally agree! You broke this down so well...❤
Wow! This actually brought a tear to my eye at one point. Your analysis was compassionate and insightful. It really makes me take a step back and analyze myself.
Truth is universally understood and accepted, and you spoke nothing but it 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Oh gosh my bros did the same thing 😂 now one is divorced and the other wife no longer wants kids. 🤦♀️
Kwame is the same old Black man. Black men have relationship with these women for White validation and to have mixed-race children. TBT
Also not so shockingly, his brother is also married to a white woman. I found that very predictable and interesting.
And his sister? Maybe she is too.
@@evadburns Black man, which is also predictable.
It’s such a sad family dynamic tbh especially for an African family. I would see it as a failure on their parents’ part.
@@crissoa Why? Because they did not marry black women or African women? I do not think so. If they are happy that is all that matters, I think.
@@evadburns they could be happy with women who share their culture. Why is that rarely an option for black men?
I never thought he seemed into her and she seems soo into him.
I just want to commend you on your bravery on addressing this topic and your sensitivity, carefulness and brilliance. You absolutely NAILED Kwame in every aspect!!! You also absolutely hit the nail on the head when it comes to Chelsea. I posted the following comment under another video, it doesn't speak to all the dynamics of their situation which you so brilliantly addressed and this isn't the complete comment but this is a little of what I see in Chelsea. It is admittedly blunt and is a very simplistic explanation of Kwame's behavior:
Chelsea had a plan before she got in the pods. I mean she went shopping for the Calvin Klein underwear to bring to LIB with her mother that she was going to shoot those engagement photos in before she even arrived. She's extremely calculating and her mother probably trained her to be that way (Kris K teas). She had it all planned out.
Kwame is weak (worn down by white supremacy, racism and an overbearing family) and desperate for white validation so he's easy to lead in any direction. Chelsea has a very domineering and manipulative personality that she hides well. He definitely would have preferred to be with Micah but he's not the type that gets what he wants because he's weak but Chelsea is the type that knows how to get what she wants. She came for a black husband who can give her mixed children so she could come up and monetize the whole situation including the children and nothing was going to stop her from achieving those goals including being the one Kwame settled for. Kwame came for fame and white validation through marriage to a white woman. This isn't about love on either side but people link for all kinds of reasons in the real world. Love a lot of time is not why people get together. I'm sure they'll have a good time selling their relationship though. Kwame now has a constant source of white validation and Chelsea gets to enjoy and monetize her fetish right in our faces while being celebrated for it. Following the Kim K blueprint
THIS IS WHAT "HITTING THE NAIL ON THE HEAD LOOKS LIKE!" YOU SUMMED UP THIS 'FAKE' UNION PERFECTLY. IF SHE HASNT GOTTEN PREGNANT YET, IM SURE SHE'S WORKING ON IT!
PREDICTION: SHE WILL BE SINGLE AGAIN, BUT WITH CHILD.
My goodness, how astute!
I feel like waving a church fan.
This 🎯
@My Stuff: Brilliant analysis!
@@jaamgirl 😂😂😂 Amen!!!
Chelsea deserves better.
Kwame too. But they both need healing. Chelsea from her desperate need to find someone. And Kwame, from himself.
Yeah I think as a 30 y/o hyper sucessful women her options are limited. As a fellow West African she is lucky Kwame is not as traditional as his Mom
So does Kwame
Replace “Seattle “ with “Chelsea.
Exactly what I was thinking! He knew what he was saying. I’m upset he had the nerve to say that out loud AND knowing she would see it. Smh
Nailed it 🎯 It’s so crazy how all POC actually deal with Colorism and self hate in our communities. Some of These BM are so mentally enslaved and don’t even realize it
BW too y’all love to project
Yes they are! Its really sad. Im over it.
@@kidkid985...Stop crying dude. This isn't about a BW. Why can't BM accept any criticism without blaming and projecting on to others? 😒
@@thecrimsoncure8201 y’all black femcels can’t accept the fact y’all aren’t attractive 🤷🏿♂️
@@thecrimsoncure8201 they are always projecting! Women never claimed to be perfect, that was another idea MEN created about us and then get mad when they realize we are just like them and do the same things. We can’t be what they want us to be. But we know we aren’t perfect or innocent and never claimed to be. We are all human and do the same things. BM just be having the audacity
This is why authenticity, transparency and honesty is so important.
You hit the nail on the head & thank you for being brave enough to just call it for what it is in today's climate of over sensitivity to the truth.
“The truth will set you free. But first it’ll piss you off.” - Ted Lasso’s therapist
As a black woman, I also agree you hit the nail on the head. I see that Kwame being a black immigrant, I think he wants to live the “right way” aka the “white way”. He crafted himself:his career, his speech, his personality to tailor and be as much as a prize to white women and her family as possible. He wants to be a prime candidate to achieve ideal “American” life and obtain a white wife who is a symbol of success in this country. I don’t know the man so just going off what I saw, and what I see/experience. Excellent analysis!
I agree! But I’ve seen other non black immigrants from colonized countries do this as well.
@@Misstexas08 absolutely. I’m a black child of immigrants and a lot of immigrants come to this country with a blueprint “how do we make it here?” “What are the rules?” And they decide what the rules are and some do whatever they can to achieve that. It’s definitely not exclusive to black immigrants, but we’re not all immune to that assimilation pressure.
Lovely analysis! I'd also love to add that it's so obvious that Kwame in a sense rejects his culture as it seems his love interests are not Black. His explaining that he couldn't pick up his prom date bc he's Black instantly gave him away.
He said it like he was disappointed that he was black, rather than being outraged because it even mattered. If I was his mom I wouldn't have directed him to find another date. It's like he accepted it, pathetic
That woman is going to finesse him so much and leave him even more broken than he was
Being an African who knows several "Kwames", this man is going to drag her through hell, use her to reach the girl he really hopes for, then leave her broken and empty. I feel bad for Chelsea.
You've seen African men do this to a white woman?
So true
Absolutely brilliant! It was such a great point when you brought up Stockholm Syndrome and his being more accustomed to putting his own needs behind others’. Fascinating!
Your pronouncing of the name Kwame is quite superb. (My brothers name too)
It’s nice to see that you took time to learn the phonetics right ❤️
Absolutely great analysis!! You're right on this, thanks for your input. He is self-loathing and totally a Stockholm volunteer. It's quite pathetic.
You are brutally correct, glad someone has the understanding and strength to tell the truth
this was a really insightful video. i love how respectful you tried to be throughout the video knowing how sensitive the topic was. it felt educational rather than mean spirited.
This was pure brilliance. If I had you 25-30 years ago I would have navigated my life and marriage better. I shared this with my sons and daughter who are in that age. In fact my eldest could very well be in the same situation now as Kwame was. Hope he learns from this! We immigrants have to be strict because we experience so much rejection and discrimination in society that we have to find avenues to excel just to affirm our human dignity and self worth!
I really liked how you explained Kwame’s compromising tendencies. I had a lot less sympathy during the show.
Thank you for shingling light and sweet enough to make this videos for those who are trying to learn, grow and evolve. I appreciate you for your words of wisdom.
You put words to what I've been feeling, but no one else sees! SO goooddd!
Girl you got it 💯💯💯 anyone who is BIPOC see this clearly.
... It is so obvious to BIPOC. Still find it hard to understand that WP can't.
BIPOC doesn't include all nonwhite people btw
@@lilyk527 Who does it exclude, by your definition? Curious.
@@siiiiiuu7 it stands for "black indigenous people of color" so not asian or non indigenous hispanic, etc. You can just use POC for that
@@lilyk527 That's not accurate though. You either mistakenly (or purposely) left out the 'and' that is included in every official definition of the term BIPOC. It stands for black, indigenous, *and* people of color. It's a term that differentiates itself from poc by adding black and indigenous as separate entities.
As a Ghanaian man watching this, I felt this on another level. The Kwame situation is like my worst nightmare. I cannot imagine he's 1000% happy in his situation.
I really appreciate your analysis, you always lead these conversations with grace. Thank you very much
What a gift ❤ Thank you Dr. Cherie!
You are spot on in your assessment of Kwame, this relationship won't last, I hope there are no children from this farce
Most likely there will be children because Kwame is the same old Black man. Black men have relationship with these women for White validation and to have mixed-race children. TBT
Wow. I knew instinctively this relationship was off but your explanation just connected the dots
This analysis is ICONIC. It's all I needed. Kwame is taking on the role of a wife, usually it's women who compromise themselves in this way.
...our community knows exactly what we are watching. He's looking to escape his blackness well embracing the parts that are palatable to his ideal (white) audience.
@@Shay416 True, but the fact that he was so obviously uncomfortable while doing it. It was all done so begrudgingly. 😬
I wouldn’t even call it compromising for him. Sure, he would like to stay where he is at, but he at least gets a white woman out of the deal. He wouldn’t have done this for a black woman.
Which is sad because a wife/women shouldn't be required to sacrifice themselves.
@@TomikaKelly I think Kwame makes big money. But in general, both should make sacrifices.
I love how you break down the analysis with specifics i.e: Te, Fi etc. with the explanations. It really sets your channel apart. Keep up the good work!
Thank you ❤ very much Dr Cherie I found it helpful. I saw a lot of myself in your analysis of Kwame. Therapy now a requisite.
❤❤❤
@@OffbeatsMusic ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ even more love to you
What an excellent video. You have given a very good explanation of what we are all seeing. I feel sorry for Kwame, really.
It's bad when a stranger is more accurate in knowing you better than you know yourself.😅😢😮
Whew this is going to make some people upset but you’re very right
Your videos make me reflect so much on the relationships around me and also do a lot of introspection. Thought provoking!
Giiiiiiiiirl Cherie. This is common with many of these couples with this exact racial dynamics.
This is my first video of yours and I am floored lol! What a perfect way to explore this important topic- from your powerful wording to shows of empathy and how you managed to make an info-packed video so concise. As a Black woman, I felt many of these sentiments about Kwame so intensely that I eventually checked out of the season... glad to know I wasn't projecting. This was the LIB content I didn't know I needed.
You’re doing good babe❤❤ speak on the internalized racism.. it’s a huge thing that SHOULD be addressed. As a dark skinned actress, I sometimes fall in the “internalized racism” category although I do date people in my race, sometimes I’m comparing my features compared to other black women and seeing that kinda thing play out on tv helps me check myself
Incredibly spot on, nice that you’re sharing your skillset and insights on UA-cam
More voices like this are needed. Well done
I believe this is the issue with black American males also Descendants from American chattel slavery and Jim Crowe. They tend to be with non-black women to show that they made it, especially if they have a little success.
This isn’t exclusive to black men, also this man is African not American. A lot of people seek whiteness to feel successful
Wow incredible analysis 👏👏👏 you nailed it. I mean everyone could see that Kwame isn't into her. Chelsea is the dominant one. It makes sense why he accepted the marriage he wasn't thrilled about.
Your analysis of this couple is incredible! I realized so many things watching your videos. It all makes sense!!
This was an amazing review. Immediately after seeing him and hearing him speak on the first ep I could almost figure him out and see how his upbringing really shaped his choices on who he dated.
It's not his upbringing. A Ghanaian upbringing is a BEAUTIFUL thing. He just hates himself.
My jaw dropped at your analysis. This is soooo needed.
I love your analogy here - this relationship is a metaphor for the colonizer and the colonized.
Just adding to the general conversation - as a literal African American, he experiences both Racism and Xenophobia. Coming from a traditional home and a completely different culture, his internal life is closer to an immigrant PoC than a BIPoC. (IMO the same is true of Obama and Kamala Harris). So his need to be accepted goes beyond white women. Even in the men's lounge we mostly see him talking with either Paul or Zach or his "pod friend" (Michael Fassbender doppelganger) that came to his tux fitting. (Ironically, doesn't that pod friend always seem disinterested in kwame, his eyes always darting around the room to see how he can exit the conversation?)
Yes! African immigrants and ADOS have some shared experiences but also very distinct differences....we can see one major one as you highlighted by the friend group--- how Marshall and Brett were interacting in a very comfortable way with each other but Kwame on the outskirts of that not even embracing or being able to relate to the things Brett and Marshall brought up about their representation as black males...Kwame looked absent/confused like he didn't get it. He has long been so used to distancing himself from his blackness and/or trying to downplay it and over compensate for it, that you could see on his face that he literally couldn't process why they would even bring something like that up on the show....
Yea... thought I was the only one that noticed the white guy's indifference.
I noticed all his friends were white and he was so uncomfortable when Marshall said “we as black men” M&B bonded while Kwame was in the outside. Kwame’s white friends were very disinterested.
This is a really great analysis. I learned so much from your review. It totally makes sense.
Came across Dr Cherie by accident. I don’t watch love is blind, but now I am captivated by her analyses - subscribed!!!!