Financial habits I'm forming in my 30s (after being BAD with money in my 20s!)
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- Опубліковано 12 лип 2024
- Financial habits I'm forming in my 30s after being BAD with money in my 20s! Check out my sponsor betterhelp.com/murphy for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp, you'll get matched with a therapist who will listen and help you with anything, including financial stress which is one of the leading causes of stress today. I use them currently to talk through everything from guilt to 'mom rage' to loss of identity in parenthood and I couldn't recommend them more - so easy to fit into a busy lifestyle and on top of weekly live sessions you can message them anytime!
IN THIS VIDEO:
00:00 - 04:18 intro
04:18 - 05:33 BetterHelp
05:37 - 08:16 I track my spending (and I budget)
08:16 - 09:21 Reduce/reuse/recycle - with clothes/expensive hobbies
09:21 - 10:40 be smart about sales / a hack to save money I got from Caroline Winkler's channel!
10:40 - 12:08 quality over convenience
12:08 - 12:53 meal planning/meal boxes to cut down on takeaways
12:53 - 15:06 I set aside 10% of my monthly salary
15:06 - 16:47 Emergency fund / buffer
16:47 - 19:22 Learning about INVESTING & setting up a pension
19:22 - 26:08 outro
Follow me on INSTAGRAM for updates between uploads: melaniiemurphy
It’s finally time to start talking about money. I’ve been so inspired by other creators on here who are being extremely transparent about influencer income, who are discussing important topics like managing finances while partnered up, financial literacy, how to make passive income as a SAHM, investing, bad money habits and all the rest! Talking about money can feel gross, it’s taboo, we generally don’t talk about it (even with friends and family) and yet it pretty much rules our lives in a lot of ways. I start this conversation with awareness of my privileges and though I don’t come from a wealthy family I was born in a (relatively!) wealthy country and I have internet access. There’s no lengthy list of disclaimers at the start of the video as the algorithm *hates that shit* but I bring this stuff up in various parts of the video. I hope at least one of you can learn from my mistakes…many of you are also close to your 30s or are IN your 30s with full time jobs and I’m sure a lot of you had this stuff down long before I did! But I know from the various statistics available that more people are terrible with money than are great with it and I’ve absolutely had to learn certain things the hard way! Let me know your thoughts below & leave suggestions of related content you’d like to see! 💚💚💚
Thanks for making this video Melanie ❤
Remember: just because you’re able to BUY something doesn’t mean you can AFFORD something
TTHHHIIIIIIISSSSSSSS
My tip does involve finances and somewhat friendships/relationships. But the tip is- PLEASE set boundaries with friend who pressure you to go out/ do stuff that costs money. They may mean well but I feel like this is something I’m struggling with as I’m in my 20s. You have to be aware of your finances of course and it all comes down to your choice, and your choice to say no. But I feel like if your friends are aware of your financial struggles they should be supportive
Omg, I adore this comment, thank you SO much for sharing this as I didn’t even think of this but omg YES 😭
@@melaniemurphyofficial AHHH I’m glad you like it Melanie!! I love your content so much ❤️✨
This!! My friends are great and even offer to cover me but thats not something i want them to do. But they want to go out every weekend and often more than once! I just cant afford it. Thats what started my spiral in my early 20s. Spending money i have on FOOD!!
Yes!!! I used to feel ashamed or cheap to talk about finances and boundaries, but now I'm feeling so much better being honest! Also, I stopped comparing myself to others, there's always going to be a friend with the better car or a bigger house, but you need to think about what you need not what you're feeling pressured to have.
"I wouldn't mind if it was nice" I love how brutally honest jessie was in that video, but I completely understood why you bought that coat in the first place. The "i can afford it because I worked hard to be able to afford it, so I deserve it" mentality, regardless of whether you actually NEED something, has had a hold on me too. Now I see budgeting as treating myself, making sure that future me can have nice things too. But the struggle is real, it's takes a lot of mental effort!
I’ll never forget THE coat 😭😂👏🏻
🙈🫠😭
I wish I was at that 10% level, but I'm a single gal of 29 living alone in a new apartment, relying on herself at all times. Currently, I save 4-5% of my monthly salary and I'm happy I get to do that as I lived on an extremely tight budget for years. But I'm currently waiting for a raise and hopefully, the 10% will come soon :)
That is still amazing, you have the right habit … you’re aware of what you can save & you’re doing what you can to put away a % of your income, and planning to save future income, yasss 👏🏻 We love to see it! 🤟🏻😍❤️
@@melaniemurphyofficial ❤️❤️
Still amazing! You’re putting the money away for future you!
So many good points! My partner didn’t come from a wealthy family and now that he is earning more than his parents did I’ve had to teach him some things about money habits & savings. However he has also instilled some bad money habits in me haha, like dining out more often and generally seeing problems as solvable with money when I’m feeling lazy. I come from a wealthy and frugal family and to me, most money advice seems super obvious because my dad drilled this stuff into me as a child. Only recently have I realised how financially illiterate most people are! I guess if everyone knew more about money it would be harder for the super wealthy to profit from the poor 👀
In South Africa, a large majority of people live with very little money. Because of this we have a lot of “extended payment schemes” at shops that are all scams. When you pay with a debit/credit card, you have to select “no” on the machine to Not use “budget” payment method which basically automatically takes out a loan for you with interest and high fees for not paying the debt in time. The wording is not intuitive or descriptive and it’s all in English, in a country with 11 national languages. So it’s unsurprising that a lot of very poor people have designer clothes and go into massive debt thinking that shops are trying to help them by offering these loans.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 literallyyyyyyyyyyyyy
I'm 23 and have just started at my first full-time salary job. It's so easy to think 'wow I have so much more money in my account than I ever have before' and spend it all on useless things. But I'm trying really hard to be more mindful about spending. I just set up a LISA which allows you to save for your first house and whatever you put in the government will add 25%! I also opted for the highest pension contribution option at my job, so although it is less to spend now I will thank my younger self in the future. Feeling really good about making moves to secure myself in life considering the state of the world!
Me and my partner are doing an ISA (that's what ours is called) too for saving for a house, i think it helps as well because it takes that monthly debit transaction OUT of my account and OUT of my site so I feel like I've earned less = I won't spend as much
Monzo is a game changer. Different pots to save for different things, and you can ‘lock’ them to avoid touching them. It’s helping me to save for a mortgage and driving lessons, whilst also saving in a separate pot for a holiday, so I’m still letting myself enjoy things while I save for a house
The Financial Diet UA-cam channel is amazing for anyone looking to build their financial literacy and knowledge about money! Loads of accessible advice and info in small videos, mostly from the perspective of millennial women. The woman who started it was in a similar situation starting off with money and had to learn a lot of things the hard way, so it’s quite relatable for a lot of people starting off I think 😊
Omg my friend Hannah told me about her videos she is ✨a queen✨ xxx
love that channel
yes but also European personal finances don't work quite like in the US
Surprised that 10 years of UA-cam and sponsors isn't even a million. A million is so tiny these days and yet can be such a reach to achieve unless you work up in the office job day to day; job hopping for promotion every 6-12 months. I feel artistic endeavors deserve more reward. And I consider what Melmur does to be artistic.
It’s mad because I feel extremely grateful to have earned so well from something that started off as a hobby, but you’re right - a million these days doesn’t go far at all! When I think about how much I spent on rent throughout those years, too 😓 It’s more important than ever to learn to be more thrifty and to have side hustles. For me, the writing is a side hustle … doesn’t pay well, but I love it regardless!
Also depends on the industry; I work in climbing centres and even the big names pay £45k a year to the business managers. Was chatting with a coworker and we realised if we did our exact same role but in a supermarket for example we'd be earning at least double if not triple 🙃
Samesies. Unfortunately the smallest channels always make less income and don't reach the success and fame of others such as DeFranco, Emma Chamberlain etc.
I don’t know how you do it, but your videos always come at the perfect time for me. Currently studying and struggling with a lot of money related anxiety as I am a prime example of week to week living. It is so nice to hear you talk about it, it gives me hope that I can do better too. Things are finally looking up, so I am trying to build better habits already, but this felt like much needed chat with a friend without the shame of admitting I still struggle with finances. Thank you for posting this! 💚💚💚
🥹 this comment has made my day. Thank you so much for sharing, Cristyne! ❤️ Reallyyy glad to hear you enjoyed! I remember keeping 2euro a week towards a Starbucks college on campus (big treat at the time) like it was yesterday! I hate that I reached a point where I never thought about what I was spending and now I make the most of my money and it feels so good! Xxx
coming from a very low income family into being a max loan university student with multiple internships / income streams from outreach work, I feel very lucky to have come across this type of content at the age of 21! I am very much an experience > savings type of person and always will be but having literally any financial literacy can be life-changing! I have started putting away a considerable chunk of money into savings and got my credit score up to excellent whilst still enjoying the cinema and nice meals out - this sort of content goes a long way and financial self-education has absolutely changed my life. I am so thankful to have started this journey at the beginning of my 20s!
I also *adore* Caroline Winkler!
I am a very low earner because I am disabled/ autistic and I just can’t physically or mentally work too much or I will go downhill very quickly. I have only just broken the personal tax free allowance this year for the first time in 3 years. I used to be awful with money in my younger days and I learnt how to be good with money the hard way. I write down all my outgoings and give myself a certain budget every week. I’ve learnt not to consider material things important and i think about things for months before actually buying them, if at all.
It can be hard because if I go home sick from work I don’t get paid and that will really affect the month after. My partner and I meal plan meticulously and go to the supermarket at the time all the reduced stuff comes out so we rarely pay full price. I don’t have any subscriptions to things apart from Netflix and Spotify which my partner and I share. I try to save but it’s not always possible but we make it work. I WISH more than anything that I could earn more but I can’t sacrifice my mental state as I have done before in the past. I’m learning not to beat myself up about it.
I appreciate this video, and hear you say all the things my grandfather says to me. (In the best way) I’m definitely going to try to do that Spending Tracking tip. You go from being poor and only having models of living paycheck to paycheck molded to break the bad habits you form, at least in my experience. Plus when I was building good habits, I injured myself (that’s actually happened twice) and then you get all paranoid again it’s a vicious cycle. Hopefully this video is the chick in the arse I need to get back into gear on that cause I’m so quickly approaching 30
This was SO helpful thank you! And thanks for releasing it on the last day of May it feels easier to start fresh for some reason when the month is a clean slate
I'm really good with saving and budgeting, but bad at earning. Always worked min wage jobs and can't seem to break out of it. I'm scared to get my first proper adult job
Seeing all different kinds of videos like this I'm just forever grateful for the way my parents raised me and how they taught me about money. They both came from rather poor, hard working families and they didn't have to much growing up.
They manged to achieve quite something even though they didnt have any academic background and growing up we weren't rich but momey wasn't something I ever had to worry about. But even though that was the case, they were very careful with spending and taught me from an early age.
Thank you for being sooo honest in this video! A good tip for shopping online is to add things to your card, think for a while if you need them and often shops will email you with discount if you will buy things from your basket, so you have time to think if you need it, and also you can get a discount ;) Few years ago I also stopped browsing through online shops. You think you don't need something, but when you see it, you might start thinking about it, so safe yourself money and don't waste your time that way ❤😊
This video is so important!!
I don’t know if this is something that is a real thing elsewhere, but in Norway there’s a website called finn (translates to find) and there you can find almost anything free/cheap. My husband and I couldn’t afford new furniture when we moved into our first flat, so we used the website to find bookshelves, tv bench, dining table etc for next to nothing! We also asked relatives if they had furniture they wouldn’t mind parting with, and we got a sofa and king sized bed out of it, and those are goddamn expensive!
It’s now a year and a half later and we still have all this furniture and it’s still in great shape 👌🏼
Edit: I guess it’s similar to Facebook marketplace??
I love this! Yes! People on FB marketplace very regularly give freebies away, I know someone who recently found a FREE Tripp Trapp baby chair on there & they’re pretty expensive/the person could absolutely have charged for it … there are good people out there 🥰❤️ Sharing is caring, passing things on is so appreciated always. We’ve not had to buy a single item of clothing for our second baby as we were handed down so many beautiful things!
@@melaniemurphyofficial That’s amazing!! Honestly this sort of stuff makes me believe in humanity in these bleak times
Great video :) I love hearing other’s financial journeys! As someone who is also approaching their 30’s I want to be in the best position ever, but still make memories and enjoy life 🌸
haha laughed load at the "right person right place"-text haha
Thank you soo much for being so transparent. I REALLY needed this. God bless you ❤
I’m definitely working on my saving habits as well. One thing I am working on is not using my CC. I had to open one because we wanted to take out a mortgage and ofc I didn’t have credit because I had just moved here. && now that you mention about the pensions, It’s actually scary how many young people these days don’t care about pensions. I’m only 30 and not British or from the UK at all. However when I moved here they asked if I wanted to sign up for the pension. I said heck yes and we were talking about it at work with some younger people and they’re like no; why do we want pensions? We want our money now. Which I can understand if you’re living paycheck to paycheck but not if you’re able to save because you live with your parents. I’m also trying to diversify my income lol I wish they taught financial literacy at school. Who the heck needs calculus (I’m not an engineer)
This this thisss 😭👏🏻🤟🏻
Great video-- money is such a difficult topic, and you're so right: why don't we learn any of this in school? One point I'd like to make about marrying/partnering with someone who is more frugal... just be careful that they aren't *too* controlling or going overboard. I'm in my 50s and have friends who have been in relationships where their husband micromanages their spending or their use of basic household products in an unhealthy way. It's good to have a balance. Learning to make good choices that make it so you can still have pleasure in your life *and* save for the future is important. Good for you for making the changes that you've made! (And for making a good income on your own!)
These are all excellent! Thank you for sharing. Let’s talk more about money! I am now 30 and realizing I have some work to do when it comes to spending, saving, and living more simply. I have some debt that I need to pay off due to over shopping on fashion… you are absolutely right that fashion is a very expensive habit. Now expecting baby number three, I’m trying to pay that down as much as possible, save money for maternity leave because of American ethics (or lack of) about that, and continue paying my bills all at the same time, all of a sudden. Talk about forcing a change of habits!!! I definitely feel overwhelmed, but it’s not impossible. I am really kicking myself for not being a better saver and spender alike before now. But all I can do is learn and do differently. Thank you for being honest about yourself and the habits that you used. My UA-cam seed is slowly changing from fashion over to money management 😂😅
Bought my first house with my partner December just gone and although the pressure of "we're saving for a house, we can't afford this" is lifted, it's now turned into "we have to pay for the house we just bought, we can't afford this." 😂 I work off pretty much a zero-based budget at the moment, splitting my monthly income into pots between bills, mortgage, house reno/decor, savings for holidays and "fun money" that's mine to do as I please every month. Some months I still freak out thinking I have NO money left but then I remember that it's basically gone into the pots and savings and the fun money was because we had a busy month. Some months I barely spend £20 out of my fun money, other times I spend it all. The one thing I have been trying really hard at is not saying "I can't afford to do that" and instead saying "this isn't a financial priority for me at the moment" to make me less likely to get FOMO or look at alternative/cheaper activities to spend time with family and friends. Those that get it, get it. Those that don't, don't! I will say if you earn a regular income, it's also very handy to have a forecasted end figure of the month after you tot up your predicted outgoing. That way if you get an unexpected bill, you'll still be able to see where you'll be at towards the end of the month!
Love this, needed this! More videos on this theme!
Great video - very interesting to watch, and such useful tips! 😄 I'll save it, and probably write these down too, for my daughter for the future ❤
Thank you for this, sometimes it's good just to be reminded that we actually do have some control over our money. Great partnership too because money can cause so much stress I'm happy you've partnered up with a brand that can help with that is a unique way. Go you Mel!!
Betterhelp had a HUGE scandal recently. There's 2 class-action lawsuit filed against them for illegally sharing users personal data (allegedly including meeting notes) with 3rd party advertising plattforms. They're under investigation from the FTC. I wouldn't trust them but I understand if there aren't any other options for someone just be aware of the situation
Hey! I had heard, this is regarding BetterHelp's advertising practices that were in effect from 2017-2020 (not anymore), I only started using the service and working with them in 2021 after my first baby as during the pandemic it was the therapy option that suited me best & I couldn’t be happier with my experience, but I TOTALLY understand the concern and the issue! Their statement was satisfactory for me, full statement is here but in it: “To clarify, we do not share and have never shared with advertisers, publishers, social media platforms, or any other similar third parties, private information such as members' names or clinical data from therapy sessions. In addition, we do not receive and have never received any payment from any third party for any kind of information about any of our members.”
www.betterhelp.com/betterhelp-response-to-the-recent-ftc-settlement/
@@melaniemurphyofficial I understand, it's not enough for me personally. There's been too many scandals over the years to the point where I don't trust or believe their statement. That's my personal opinion and I don't look down on anyone that use the service, therapy is expensive and hard to get through regular health care
@@caesar98 I know, UA-camr Philip DeFranco ended up distancing himself from them after having a spon partnership for years (even though he still paid for and used the service himself), because he didn’t want to get into lots of back and forths about the company after certain public discussions about them … ultimately, every individual should evaluate a product or service before spending & decide for themselves how they feel! 💚 There’s nothing that I mention or talk about online that hasn’t brought chats like this (from beauty products I’ve loved to food I’ve eaten to parenting decisions I’ve made) I just make sure that I’m comfortable with my choices before sharing them with an understanding that followers may have different ‘comfort levels’ (with my decisions, or what/who I choose to promote or support) x
Thank you Melanie for this relatable video! I have never wanted to budget because I was on and off work and living very cheaply anyway. Now that I'm beginning to be more independent and have a stable job I know I need to budget and have a savings account!
Thank you so much for being honest and relatable about money. It may be "icky" but how are we ever supposed to learn if people don't lay out the bare facts? When I got a better paying job, I'll never forget my wise dad's advice: "you earn more, you will probably spend more, be careful." it's so tricky, but living below your means (if you can) if a gamechanger.
My fiancé and I have lived with very little for years (between studies and starting a business) and because we're french, we've had a lotof help from our government. We've always had to budget tight ! That meant, if we went our for drink with other student, we would drink one beer. It was hard to not give in to peer pressure sometimes but it was worth it to not go to much into dept. Budgeting is really the best thing to do.
I love everything and especially the ending 😂❤❤❤❤❤ you are brilliant and thx for the video which was very helpful
been obsessed with financial videos lately, since i have my first full time job after getting my degree and want to buy a home asap. please make more if you feel like it! ❤
Yes Caroline and Melanie! My favorites ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Lovee your habit videos 🥰
The ending ❤😂
Hi! I appreciate the comment that you made that you do have to live a little because it sounds really stressful to just save without enjoying a little bit of what you have for years just to get a house
100%! I think I lived *a bit too much* when I was about 25/26, and I was very wasteful, but even when I started getting my shit together I didn’t want to go TOO over the top because at the end of the day you only live once and you need to enjoy the present moment too, we’re never guaranteed a tomorrow! It’s just also worth considering your future self when you can as he/she will exist and will be a product of every decision you make in the here & now. It’s a tough balance to strike! Xxx
I heard a great piece of money advice the other day from River Nice who was interviewed on Bad with Money with Gabe Dunn podcast. They addressed how daunting and often impossible it is for folks to squirrel away 3 months worth of wages for emergency funds. So, their alternative was to look into the cost of potential emergencies such as what would be the deductible on your car insurance if you got into an accident, if you have pets setting aside some money for vet bills, your deductible on health insurance etc. This allows for more tangible numbers and likely a lower savings amount than 3 months worth of wages but addresses the amount of money that would be required as buffer for certain things.
If you need a kick up the bum the watch the financial audit by Caleb, really felt like my spending was being picked apart and held accountable!
It would be absolulty lovely it you could do a video or an Instagram reel on which resources you are using or books you are using to learn about investing! love the way you explain stuff and I think we could learn a bunch from you
Love videos on money for women in their 20s!! Hell even 30s!
Great video!
The podcast 'The pineapple project ' is very funny and informative about money as well. Highly recommended!
Great video but we all want to know what happened to that Burberry coat?! Get it sold on Vinted girl! ❤😂
I have def had purchases like the coat, except it’s broken up in smaller impulse purchases to “treat myself”. Now I’d rather saved some of their money, or spent them on experiences like travel, concerts, etc.
'Treat yourself' being pushed as self care to drive Spending has a lot to answer for.
My approach when I got my pay would be to Pay key bills (rent, electric etc), then leave ~$200 (or less) in my regular account, and then move All the rest to my Savings. Even if that meant that during the month i often had to move money back Out again to use, it would still maximise the amount that I was saving, and the interest earned. I also when i had enough funds set up a Term deposit which I cannot access for a year. Good reminder to me to add money to my superannuation (pension), am overseas so also not contributing to it currently (and previously was studying so also not adding :/). Luckily in Aus it is kind of done automatically for you (but you do have to keep an eye on it/ensure dont have double funds etc)
You speaking Irish was beautiful ❤
to anyone who feels like they're doing all these and still getting nowhere, try not to beat yourself up. life's hard af right now, and if you're starting from nothing, on a low/average income, the takeaway you got last week isn't the reason you can't buy a house yet❤
The Are father in Irish was said really well and Melanie set up that pension we never want to become a burden on our children
Thank you, Mel! I have been following you since your early vids and am so happy to see you growing into a more BEAUTIFUL and MATURE/SOBER woman, which Thomas and I must be proud of! How can we get your book outside Europe? xx
Ohhh Laylaa 🥹 You are so sweet! ❤ Speaking of sober … almost 4 years sober now! 🤯 Cannot believe it! My books were/are available worldwide with free shipping from book depository but I believe that’s closing down 😭 Not sure when! Easons bookshop in Ireland on their website says “Standard Delivery lead times (An Post):
Ireland and Northern Ireland: 2-3 working days
UK (except NI): 3-7 working days
Europe: 4-7 working days
USA & Canada: 6-10 working days
Rest of world: 8-12 working days” so I presume they ship everywhere! Xxx
@@melaniemurphyofficial Love it!
@@melaniemurphyofficial it closed down already, I'm gutted too 😢😢😢
Please do more videos like this
I didn't think I needed to hear Melanie as gaeilge but it turns out I absolutely did
hahahahaha did I say it right!?!?!?!
@@melaniemurphyofficial from my (patchy) memory you did! 💚
This is all wonderful. 💚 And I completely agree that school should be focussing on more lessons that reflect the real world and life, since that’s what it’s supposed to be preparing us for. Sadly, none of this advice works if someone is on government assistance like welfare. And if a person is stuck on it for any significant length of time, or at just the wrong point in life, it can completely fuck ye financially. In Canada, as an example, if you are receiving provincial welfare, you are not allowed to have any other source of finances except work (and they deduct at least half of what you earn). So you are not permitted to have more than a set dollar amount in savings (and they will try to force you to live solely off that so you’re not a “burden on the system”), you’re not allowed to have RRSPs, nothing. If you’re someone middle aged, this is an absolute nightmare for your future. Which is why governments also need to be doing more to help people, why we need to have basic income, and those in power need to be held to account for denying people a way of life.
Thank you! Unfortunately alot of us dont grow up in a household that have the resources to educate you on these things and neither do schools so we end up googling when we are faced with problems instead of being able to put in preventative measures!! Do you have much info on how student loans affect your finances after you leave University especially if you haven't gone straight into that career you studied? And any advice. I'm 25 still working part-time (for a few personal reasons) as a Uni graduate. Ta muchly x❤
This! I would have killed for a whole class in financial literacy/capitalism throughout my teen years instead of subjects like 'religion' which, for me, was literally a woman putting on movies like 'passion of the Christ' then asking us to 'discuss' lol. So infuriating. Even when I did my degree in education & training ten years ago, we were taught that the education system was in desperate need of reform. I'm not sure much has changed whatsoever in secondary schools since then! So, my husband's student loans have hugely impacted his financial situation ... however, ultimately he'll end up in a great position and he's in a job where he'll continue to get pay rise after pay rise the longer he's with the company. It's his dream job so he didn't mind being broke for a bunch of years if it meant that he'd be securing himself for DECADES, it's absolutely a case of acting in the now for your future self. He was braver than me, now ... I don't think I'd ever have taken on so much debt in my 20s! He's still paying it off but he pays a huge amount of his monthly wage toward it so he's already paid off well over half of it. It would actually probably be fully paid off already if the pandemic never happened as he wasn't earning much at all during that I do believe that his choice to take on student debt contributes greatly to how 'thrifty' he is lol! So many of my good money habits come from him as I said in the video :) Thomas was only training for this new career as a pilot at your age (25!) he doesn't regret a second of it! It pays off in the long term and not just financially ... his mental health is so much better doing something he loves to do! xxx
Not related to the video but related to co sleeping. Recently found out I am preggers with my second. And co slept with my first.
You've mentioned co sleeping and how you navigate safe sleep following the safe sleep seven but have admitted your toddler and husband also sleeps in the bed which directly goes against the safe sleeping 7 guidelines. Four bodies in one bed. Eek.
I guess I'm going to have to start getting my toddler into his own bed. I've seen you mention he won't take to his own toddler bed. It's very important to try every night as it's very unsafe sleeping with four people in the bed, it's actually not safe at all. I wish you would take more heed here as you share the safe sleep seven all the time but aren't actually following through yourself. For the sake of your babies at least.
The safe sleep 7 is all contained within this song:
"no smoke, sober mom.
baby at your breast.
healthy baby on his back.
keep him lightly dressed.
not too soft a bed.
watch the cords and gaps.
keep the covers off his head.
for your nights and naps"
Officially, the safe sleep 7 is:
1: No smoking in the home or outside
2: Sober adults: no alcohol, no drowsy medications
3: Breastfeeding day and night
4: Healthy baby who is full term
5: Baby on back and face up
6: No sweat: baby in light clothing, no swaddling
7: Safe surface: no soft mattress, no extra pillows, no toys, no tight or heavy covers. Clear of strings and cords. Gaps firmly filled: use rolled towels or baby blankets.
So I'm not sure what point you are trying to make, really. Have you actually researched this? My kids have two adults between them, but yeah throughout Asia, Africa, much of the world - entire families share beds/rooms. We've got a super king bed, it's absolutely enormous lol! BUT we are in the process of moving him into his room, he's having the odd nap in there and the odd night he falls asleep in there but it's very child-led, so if he chooses to stay with us, he does! But now that Thomas is back to being home every night we'll be able to fully complete the process as he'll be able to go in to him during the night as I can't go in and lay with him if he wakes from a dream or something as I've to nurse my baby!
Not sure if this is true in the UK/Europe, but in the US I just learned about Certificates of Deposit (CDs) through my credit union. They're like a special temporary savings account that has a higher interest rate (money that you get, not that you have to pay) than usual savings accounts, with the caveat that you can't withdraw it until the end of the term (could be 6 months, 7 mo, 12 mo, etc). I'm too afraid to start investing, but this seemed like a good way to passively get some income (an extra $60 for me this year) from money that otherwise would have been sitting in my normal savings account doing nothing
Just a general question here as I have been talking about this to a few different people recently.
This question is specifically for people who when they were little got sent cheques at Christmas and birthdays from Grandparents or extended family that live far away.
Do you know where that money is?
Do you know if your parents just took that money for themselves?
Do you think it is acceptable for parents to take their child's money (when the child is young, I'm talking like a year old) and use that money themselves to aid in keeping the child healthy and safe or is the money the child's money?
Ooffff this is an INTERESTING QUESTION/CONVERSATION and I would love to see a few people reply with their thoughts! So … from experience on both sides of this, as a child I absolutely remember all of my ‘communion money’ going missing, I never saw it, and eventually I was told that it was used to pay for a new bicycle for me and some other stuff like bigger clothes, and I remember being so hurt and disappointed as I thought I’d get to decide how to spend it and ‘play adult’ essentially, I loved having a big pile of cash and for it to be spent without my knowledge was crushing! However, now that I have kids I can easily imagine doing the same with their money - buying them things they want or need, because our income is being used to keep them fed and sheltered/we are saving for their future education etc and it’s actually wild how much it can cost to upsize your child’s wardrobe or to get them the latest game console or whatever (I know how kids demand those things as I was one of them) 🙈 If parents can afford to pretend the money doesn’t exist of course ideally it would be put into an account for the child to use in future. Our plan was to put the child benefit (in Ireland, the government gives a children’s allowance of 140 euro a month to parents, so we get 280) into an account for our kids as we figured we earn enough and we won’t need it. However the cost of our food bills has absolutely gone up a fair bit since we had our son so we use it towards the food, the nappies etc - the stuff it’s intended for! Xxx
@@melaniemurphyofficial I find that so interesting! I am a child of parents that always put the money that I have been given as a gift into MY bank account and I'm SOOOOO thankful that they did! Personally I veiw it as that money was intended for me, it was my name on the cheque, not my parents. I do understand why people would use their own child's money on various things for their child however I personally feel some people do take the piss with that a little bit i.e. the kitchen needs a bit of a revamp and the kids will be users of said kitchen so this cheque from Auntie XYZ can go towards a new kitchen, as ultimately, kids couldn't give a shit if all the cupboard doors of your kitchen were hanging off however at some point they may want driving lessons, a car, to go to Uni/move out, to furnish the place they now live, to decorate the place they now live etc.
I have 2 young children and every month they get for birthday etc goes straight into there savings account. I would never touch or spend that money because I want them to have a chance when their older to buy these nicer thing a house or be able to drive instead of struggling 😊 that's my view xx
@@kirstyhibbert3119 Absolutely. I believe that their money is their money too
As kids, we didn't get any money. Family would give us toys or present. But from when my sister and I became teens, we started getting some money. My parents started to teach us how to manage it as they stopped buying us stuff (expect for Christmas or birthdays). They taught us that if we wanted this video game, we could save the money or do more work in the house. It was a really good way to teach us about money I think. But my parents never really needed extra money so that's also a big part. I personally believe that if a relative gives money for a child, having that money separate is good if you can afford all the basic need for your kid :o
Look into the book “the little book of common sense investing” by John C Bogle.
Please talk more about investing when you learn more
I am really trying to be better with money. I have never been into designer clothes, I don't enjoy going to expensive places... BUT... I am guilty of seraching for that sweet sweet retail therapy high. I hear of a miracle skin product? I'll buy 5. I feel down about my appearance, I'll buy 3 dresses. I am really trying to have more control but it's hard when I'm feeling low and just want a quick pick me up. Any advice?
I totaly understand ! I thin the way I changed my habits was, first going to shops and trying all the things but then not by any. It would take me like an hour so in the end I would be to tired to buy anything. Then I would buy smaller things, like maybe a fun pair of socks or a nice mug but nothing over 10euro ! And then I started buying books instead, graphic novels especially. They serve a better purpose in my life than anything else :)
SAVE IN CASH!! My husband and I are both terrible impulse spenders, so by taking our bill money out of our account and putting it in a safe as cash, we don’t see what we have when we open our accounts, and it’s so much harder to spend on things you know you shouldn’t. We’ve been able to save up for bills well in advance of them being due, and it has saved us the world of stress!
sent my irish boyfriend a snippet of you saying the prayer and he said "i can also do this if it would make you happy" what are they doing to ye in these schools
When you’re setting up your pension, please make sure it’s not being invested in harmful and unethical companies such as fossil fuel companies! Irish Life Green Fund could be a good one for you❤
Incredible tip, Emer! xxx
Otherwise just go, don't care😂
🙆🌄
Law of Attraction is Satanic. I know lots of people who love it but unless your faith in in Jesus, you're following a false religion.
You have done really well Melanie. I really respect you. I too grew up poor and it's so lovely when you can finally buy what you like. I recall struggling to buy essentials but at least we now know and respect the value of money and appreciate everything. Wishing you and your fam the very best xxx
Why are you still supporting better help when they're kind of a scam?
Look so much older now like 40
growing, birthing and breastfeeding two kids back to back will do that to you lol
I won't use betterhelp because of the shady beginning. :/
You have no idea how grateful I am for these kinds of videos preparing me for what’s to come in a few months 🫣🤣 I honestly have so much more respect for my body (than I originally had already) as well as women who do birth and carry children. It’s a bloody rollercoaster 🥲
I'm also trying to learn more about finances, and my next step is to set up a high yield savings account. The account that I have now accumulates .11% interest per year, and it's all liquid, which is all well and good, but I haven't actually withdrawn any of my saving's money in a year. Even when I was a little kid, I was very diligent about saving my allowance money, and I tried to talk to my mom many times over setting aside a little money every month in saving's, but she was very condescending and acted like that was completely impossible.
Over the last year, I've graduated from my master's program (tuition was the only reason why I ever withdrew money from saving's in the last two years) and I switched careers. I quit my last job one month, and was offered my current job the next month, but between them offering me the job and HR completing my background check and actually going through with hiring me, I had to wait a solid month and a half. I never anticipated how long the hiring process was in my field, but even with being out of work for THREE MONTHS, I found that I still didn't dip into my saving's account at all. I figured then that I should just lock the money away so that it can earn more interest.
Working as a teacher with not a great pay check and little free time to figure out a good passive income makes it feel impossible to ever be able to save up or even earn enough money so I can buy a flat. I get so overwhelmed by those thoughts I have almost half accepted that it’s impossible. This video gives me a glimmer of hope but I truly wish we lived in different times 🥲
So sorry about that! Teachers are paid well in my country, wish they were everywhere.