Well ... this is terrifying. I've not been scared to press 'upload' in what feels like ... years!? BLERGHHHH BEING VULNERABLE IS BLERGHHHH. But every time I open up I receive the most incredible messages and comments from people who LITERALLY change their actions for the better and it makes the terror worth it. So worth it. If you're going through this, I SEE YOU
I'm from Eastern Europe, and I feel like the drinking culture is very similar to that in Ireland. Your story resonates deeply with me (including strained relationships with my mom and being raised by my father from the age of 16), and listening to you has been incredibly healing. You're very brave for sharing your story - I know how ashamed I used to feel after those 'incidents.' I'd end up blackout drunk in strange places with strange people, and the unsettling heaviness in my stomach would haunt me for days afterward. Two incidents led me to reevaluate. One was when I was lured by a 'friend' to his house while I was in a relationship. Nothing 'bad' happened - in a moment of lucidity, I locked myself in one of the rooms when I realized where things were headed. I’m so naive when I’m drunk, and I honestly thought it was just supposed to be a friendly visit. The second was at a wedding, where I got blackout drunk. Fortunately, my bizarre behaviour came out after the reception, but I still felt so much shame the next day. To this day, I don’t know exactly what happened. I guess it wasn’t as bad as some of my younger 'incidents' when I was straight-up aggressive, but I felt awful because I made a fool of myself in front of the family. Therapy helped so much, as well as getting my priorities straight. I’ve been limiting my alcohol intake since the age of 28, at the age of 31 I was drinking once a week maximum. Later, I decided to drink a maximum of once a month. Now I’m pregnant and even the smell of beer makes me dry heave. I’m so much happier, and fitter, my skin looks better. But the best thing is the lack of that heaviness in my stomach and anxiety. I’m so proud of you and of your honesty, one of the videos you posted 4 years ago helped me on my journey. You’re an inspiration (yes, I’m also writing a novel!).
We share so many similarities. Late diagnosed ADHD, letting all of my repressed emotions out with alcohol, anxiously attached, etc. You’ve taught me so much, still struggling with a dark period in my life but I am hoping for enough stability to have a beautiful family and home like you one day. Thanks for giving me hope Melanie 🙏
I've never been one to drink because of my mother. Your story sounds similar to hers but she never really quit. Thank you for doing what my mother couldn't. Your kids will never know the pain that I experienced and I hope they never have to understand the gratitude your family, friends, and followers like me have towards you. They will see a mom that cares more about herself and her family, no matter how difficult it may be, and that is a gift not all of us were able to receive. Congradulations on 4 years sober! Thats a HUGE accomplishment and I hope you are very proud of yourself!
One day I woke up wanting to die, full of shame and regret after a night of drinking once again. That same day I found your 'six months sober' video and it made me feel like I wasn't the only one struggling with this. It's been over two years without a drink and I'm happier than I've ever been. Thank you so much for having the courage to be this vulnerable! You have no idea of how many lives you've changed. Cheers from Argentina.
Whenever someone breaks free from the trap of alcohol, the world gets a little bit brighter. 🌞 In the USA, alcohol culture (and drug culture in general) is holding us back. If we were to stop drinking ourselves into oblivion, just think of what we could accomplish.
Good for you that you gave up when you still can or it would be worst if you had continue, it's the devil way to steal, kill and destroy anyone who's vulnerable and praying that you will stay safe and strong
i think if we talked about trauma more, we could escape the cycles of addiction. also, societal changes. letting go of the ‘hustle culture’ mentality, 5 day work-weeks, & unjust pay, would alleviate lots of stress too.
For the British and Irish it’s literally seen as part of their culture. They start drinking young. It’s literally some sort of culture to go straight to the bar to have a drink after work. The folks over there are known around the world to be terrible / drunk tourists. It’s not the same. They literally are stereotyped and known for their drinking habits.
I live in Newfoundland, Canada and it has a very Irish history and the drinking "culture" that comes with it is no joke. Just rampant alcoholism. I've struggled with this for years and like you, I've chosen my future self and my little family over "fun". The fun wasn't always fun, but it was almost always a persona I put on to feel interesting and cool. I also would let my jealousy or horrid feelings bubble to the surface. It would turn me into a menace. I would say and do things that sober me could not imagine doing. It is scary to be in it. You could not pay me to go back to my 20's and re-live it. I'm glad you briefly mentioned shadow work because I've found it so helpful as well. You can run and run but eventually, you will catch up to yourself. This video spoke to me on such a deep level. I never comment on anything but I felt compelled to say thank you for this video. Thank you for being open and so vulnerable. I imagine it cannot be easy to pour your heart out online. Your presence on here is breath of fresh air and I appreciate your content, especially these last few years. Much love from Newfoundland, CA.
This was so moving. Thank you for the vulnerability. You sounded so nervous and it just even further emphasized how much that life-style hurt and embarrassed you. My own experiences with alcohol are beyond awful. It started with my dad, getting drunk and pacing atound and yelling all the things he couldn't say to people at work, for hours at night. I was 5 or 7 the first time he called me downstairs to smell his breath to see if i could smell the alcohol - which i had no idea what it was so why he thought id be able to answer the question?? Then hed ask me if he was slurring his words. Also had no fking idea what that meant. He'd be speaking very slowly and over emphasized to compensate so in hindsight yeah, it was very obvious. But back then i had no idea. I was scared by his yellow, scared by the questions, and scared by how long the whole process would last before he went to bed. Hours, usually. I tried to play therapist to him on those nights, to try and stop him from feeling so angry and sad, because he was my dad. I didnt want my dad to be obviously feeling so negative. Id be trying to keep my younger brother from coming down, or hearing what was going on. I got told i was so helpful after spending hours trying to fix this problem i didnt understand, only to have to start over again the nexr night. My first significant relationship was 13 years long. He was an alcoholic years before i met him, started at 13. In his area of Louisiana, thats normal. It never stopped. The abuse during that 13 years went from mild to extreme. And the pressure to drink with him so he wasnt drinking alone, was intense. I didnt give in until i thought, what if i drank and acted towards him how he acts towards me? Hes not listening when i tell him anymore. Maybe if he sees it from the other side, he will understand. Terrible idea. Absolutely did not work. I spent several years feeling constantly sick and even more unloved. Even the smell of walking in a liquor store now triggers my gag reflex. My current relationship, and father to my child, limits himself to 1-2 drinks in a night, a few times a year. He asks me first if I'm ok. Theres been times where i am and say yes, and times where i wasnt and said no. Hes always respected my answer and never been upset. He doesn't change how he acts after a drink. He doesn't drink while our child is awake. He never pressures me to drink. For the first time ever in my life, alcohol isnt the goal for the adult i live with. Its never used against me. It doesn't disturb my peace. Money in our tight budget isnt spent on alcohol instead of bills or food. Im never in a moving vehicle with an angry drunk driver. Ive cried so many times, from the sheer relief of it all. I dont think alcohol is the problem, any more than i think guns or cars are the problem. The problem is the people using objects as an excuse for bad behavior and believing that automatically justifies their selfish, abusive, angry sides, instead of trying to fix those parts of them. But i cant stress enough how much of life alcohol has damaged, or how much safer and happier i am without it in my life.
@Melanie Murphy you're so very welcome. It's still hard talking about all those years, but it's talking honestly about the hard things that makes us grow as people, and as a collective society. Not speaking out about the negative effects of bad behaviors is how problematic beliefs and decisions carry on generation to generation. Alcoholic parents almost always seem to think their drinking isn't affecting their family, or friends. It absolutely does. To this day, in his late 70s, my dad is convinced that his drinking isn't a bad thing, and it only affects him. The reality is it destroyed his relationships with his wife and both of us kids, almost 30 years ago. It's had terrible affects on his health, even now. My mom still works because he immediately refused to the minute he was old enough for social security. She's almost 70. She pays all the bills. She works 40+ hours a week, and then has to physically take care of him because he refuses to be bothered. It's a normal thing for her to find him laying on the floor somewhere, with blood everywhere, because he fell while drunk and busted his nose, and can't figure out how to get up, because he's still that drunk. I've gotten multiple pictures of him bloody with black eyes because he fell on his face. He yells at her that she's not helping him get up when she's doing everything she physically can and he refuses to help. Or yells because he doesn't want to get up yet and she's nagging him. He's demolished multiple cars. He's been fired from almost every job ever. He doesn't see his only grandchild for more than 10 minutes because we don't know when the next break from reality will be. It's awful. It's so so important that you realized it was a problem before having kids. You're blessing them a million times over. Kids don't recover from Alcoholic abusive parents. It changes you for life.
So proud of you! The “drinking with all guys so then you end up drinking more than your body can handle” and the “things coming out explosively when you’re drunk because you’re suppressing your feelings about them when you’re sober” parts really spoke to me. I haven’t quit drinking, but I have a much better relationship with it now. And more than anything, I’ve made changes in my life so that I’m not repressing things in the first place. I’ve followed you for years now and it’s always so helpful to hear people share their stories and experiences. Thank you for being vulnerable on the internet, it can’t be easy but it helps so many of us feel less alone in the world and in our own journeys!
When I decided to quit drinking I went in search of people on UA-cam that quit for the reasons I did. I found one. You. I watched your videos about drinking often as I needed initial support. 18 months later I don't even think about it and it's the best decision I ever made. Thank you for being there. I'll share my own story when I am ready. It takes time to process and we don't often know ourselves as well as we think and I am still learning.
I am sure your husband and kids are super proud of you, I know I am!! Look at you now, I have been watching you for years and you've grown so much, you're building your dream life. I'm so happy for you Melanie 💚
I congratulate you for getting sober while you're young. I wish I could go back in time and unhurt all the people I hurt. 12 years sober now. I hate the memory of who I was then.
I've been a person I didn't recognize while drinking, and I had some similarly horrifying moments where I had to really come to grips with the idea that "If this continues much longer it's not going to be out of character for me anymore... and I don't like that character I'm playing here.," and since then I've dramatically decreased my drinking to almost nothing, maybe a drink in 6 months. I honestly feel so much better all around.
Good for you. I think many of us alcoholics wrestle with the idea of being able to have one “every once in awhile”, but find that it is too difficult to stick to just one. I applaud you for that!
Went out last night for a 'few pints' inevitably I got locked! Today I woke up and have realised I have an issue. I've just found your video and have decided today's the day to stop. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing your story, I've just started my journey and its only been 2 months, but I totally feel like a completely new person. I can't even begin to explain how happy I am I chose to sobriety. Once again thank you for sharing.
Thank you for posting this! I’ve been sober for two years now and I needed this reminder of why it was so bad. Sometimes I think it didn’t affect me that much… but yeah it does
I remember when you first said you were going to stop drinking 4 years ago and it just looked you up to see how it went for you. I’m so glad you have been able to maintain sobriety all these years later! That’s so awesome congratulations!
I just want to give 17 year old you a hug when you're talking about passing out at parties and being assaulted. Im sorry that this was your normal and i hope you know how strong you are for not only giving up alcohol, but also being able to speak about this so openly shows how well you've mentally processed your past. As someone your age (but always had a good relationship with alcohol) this absolutely should not have been your normal and I'm so sorry your relationship with alcohol led to so much trauma at such a young age. Your videos over the last few years have made me think more consciously about how I want to handle the issue of alcohol with my own son, and what I do/don't want him to see from a young age. As always, thank you for sharing ❤
Alcohol free for 1 year and 4 months, holding my first baby in my arms! Everything you talked about resonated heavily with me! Thank you so much for opening about your journey, I always felt quite lonely, especially since mine also started when I was very young..
This video is truly amazing, I had a lump in my throat watching you open up in such a vulnerable way. As a long time viewer, this is such an eye-opener to the “behind the scenes” we can be so unaware of. This video is so inspiring and I really am looking forward to you making videos about shadow work if you choose to.
🥹💚 Thank you. Posting this was difficult, I didn’t think it would be as I am used to being open but goodness…not like this. Not about my ‘shadow side’ (100% will do a video on shadow work!)
Biggest love. I cannot imagine how much it has taken to not only consider sharing the reality but filming and uploading and waiting. Thank you for sharing this, there are few people in my life I have sent your last video to in the past and it was life changing to some of one of their thought processes. Cannot thank you enough Melanie 💚🌷
Longtime watcher that doesn’t always comment here- but I wanted to congratulate you! Being sober for 4 years is absolutely amazing and you should be so proud and thank you so much for sharing this story with us!!!! My bio-dad was an alcoholic so I had a really hard time letting myself let go enough to actually get drunk so I guess a good thing came from a bad one. Now I’m a lightweight and I rarely have more than a drink or two and I really like it. Alcohol is fun but it doesn’t own me and I enjoy the social lubricant aspect and mostly only drink with friends or in groups but I can see how easy and slippery a slope it is…. Thanks again for sharing your story with us! 💚💚💚💚
So much of what you said had me nodding in agreement. Whenever I have a really bad night, I wake up and am like "That's it. No more." but then a few days later I buy another bottle of wine and it starts over. I recently had a bad night, and one the week before, and I have decided to quit for a year. I really wanted to say six months so I could have something at Christmas, but I know I won't have just one glass if I do that. I am only (but already) six days in. I think I can only do this one day at a time, but so far my desire to live my best life is pushing me forward. I haven't come to a scenario yet where others are drinking around me though. That is always when I give in because I love the taste of wine so much and seeing it near me makes me want it. But at the moment, I have an affirmation I made that is helping me. "I choose to be sober to support my mind and my body through this important time in my life."
Alcohol addiction actually destroyed my life for over 26 years. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
From the child of a mother who never could quit drinking for her children, her family or her husband and eventually took her own life because of the mental damage that alcoholism caused, you've done and are doing an incredibly hard and (mostly) selfless thing (yes it's for you too) but the trauma that we as kids suffered at her hands and watching her lose control uncountable times... having to care for her like a child when we were children ourselves, having her hurt us both emotionally and physically... If I had a time machine and could go back and convince her to do what you did...you can't even imagine the gratitude and joy I would feel... If I could live life again with a sober mother... What an incredible thing you are doing, you really should be proud of yourself. I know how hard it must be because my Mom, who really was an intelligent and tough person couldn't win against the pull. I know I don't have the right but I'm proud of you too.
Your openness is amazing. Not many people would reveal their darkest moments in a public forum. I’m doing 100 days of no booze as an experiment. Over half way through.. there are so many great alternatives out there and even though it’s only a relatively short period of time, I don’t miss it at all yet.
Hey, good job on quitting drinking for such a long time. I recently just committed to being sober for a while, and im about 3 weeks in. Its nice hearing others share their experience, so I really appreciate it.
@@IIIIIlIIl still doing good! I'm 45 days in. Some of my friends don't understand, but I've noticed they don't drink as much if I'm not drinking with them, so I think that's helpful. I'm saving money, and I enjoy my mornings a bit more. Planning to keep it going :)
Thank you for posting this. I was a terribly heavy binge drinker from 15-19. I still drink but only on special occasions and never more than 3 drinks in a night. It has forced me to address all the things I've been bottling up and am so glad that it doesn't define or consume me anymore. it bothers me a bit how normalized alcohol is and how people continue to make me feel weird or out of place for not drinking so much. but i suppose all that matters is that it's benefiting me and my life moving forward. other's opinions don't matter. this video makes me feel a lot more normal, less alone, and more confident in my decision. thanks again!
I had 5 stints in rehab for alcohol and other issues. 5.5 years clean. I know the person I am drinking is so removed from who I am sober. So much so, it felt like I left and some evil force took over. I did and said some truly horrible things and I’m still coming to terms with the effects my drinking had on others. I owe it to myself and to everyone to be sober, present and dependable. It’s a powerful drug. I relate to your journey.
Congratulations Melanie. Well doing. ❤ I’ve been sober for 22 years in August. The thing that used to get me early in my sobriety was going to a family event and some of my sisters and brother were getting wasted. Also I began to watch my nieces and nephews get drunk. It wasn’t fun anymore. It was heartbreaking. So I stopped going to family events. I wished they knew what I knew. But I am of the mind that one must make his/her own decisions. My beautiful goddaughter passed away last year of liver disease from drinking. I can’t begin to tell you how it broke my heart. It’s a poison. You’re correct. Thing is… once I stopped I never cared about alcohol again. Never think about. Don’t miss it. ♥️🌹 Be well lovely.
It is so good you decided to do this when you did. I am in my late 40s and honestly, most of my friends are “functioning” alcoholics. I drink occasionally, never really get drunk and can honestly take or leave it. I’m lucky I guess. What’s horrifying is so many women in their 40s have the same issue as you had and their kids see it. Witness it. Have to endure it.
Seeing people drunk and fighting when you’re a small child is the most terrifying thing 😔 Witnessed it myself as a child multiple times. Never wanted my own kids to experience that as it contributed greatly to my difficulty trusting people!
@@melaniemurphyofficial you know, even if they’re not fighting it is still really weird for children and confusing. I have always been a happy drunk with no issues but im still sure my children wouldn’t like it. They don’t understand how or why their parent changes. I’m with you, keep alcohol and children as separate as you can.
Alcohol and cigarettes addiction actually destroyed my life. I could remember several years ago after divorce with my wife which brought me into my disastrous journey on Alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
Amen God bless people. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health.
Can you help me with the reliable source. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Netherland. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
YES very sure of Dr.raymycology. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today
100% agree I used to have Psychosis and paranoid thoughts like "people thinking about me talking about me etc. Very odd behavior after getting off Adderall from 7-16. Antidepressants at 18-29. 31 now. I took way to much, but took about 20g of Gold caps (Psilocybin containing mushroom) I analyzed my entire life. The emotions that came out helped me understand behavior etc more. Wont ever need to do it again because I'm happy and contempt forever, but I wish more people did this to alter their perception of reality. Would help with healing much trauma
Just over a year ago I went sober. Your account was pivotal to this and I'm so grateful for those videos of yours that helped to guide me. Since then my life has completely changed. I was a horrible person when I was drunk and soooo selfish. I'm very socially anxious so I used drink to help me socialise and ended up getting into crowds that regularly took drugs and only liked me because I was fun to go out with. These friendships always turned out to be awful in the end, as sober these people had no interest in me and our values fundamentally clashed. After letting all of this go, I now have friends who truly like me for me, and I have a much better relationship with my boyfriend and my parents. This sort of content is so powerful and important. Thank you so much for all your bravery and love xxx
Thank you for being so brave and talking about this! Can you share the links to stuff about transactional analysis and shadow work? I would be really interested in reading that, or hearing about it if you wanted to make a video out of it :)
Oh I popped some links in but ABSOLUTELY read into it as much as you can, watch videos about these things … listen to podcasts … and bring them up in therapy. The ‘parent adult child’ model has genuinely transformed my life and how I handle conflict. Not one bad argument in 4 years (where I got out of control) 💚💚💚
Thank you for this video, I never knew alcohol induced psychosis was a thing. Reading up and watching this video I'm now pretty sure my abusive ex had that and I'm going to talk to my therapist about it to do some processing. I stopped drinking Christmas last year, and it's HARD. I have had issues with excessive drinking and drinking as a coping mechanism for years. I finally got to a good place and then last year I started having severe IBS reactions to alcohol. I had half a standard drink Christmas Eve and was in extreme pain all Christmas day. So no more drinking for me, least not for a very long time Thanks for being open about this, it must take a ton of courage to be so vulnerable and I appreciate it ❤❤
From how you described yourself in the past, it sounds like you look back with deep regret, shame, and embarrassment. I thought you should know that when I was watching this I was thinking how mature and well spoken you are! Very glad to hear how proud you are of yourself now because it is clearly well deserved.
Just came from a Tom Holland interview about being sober for one and half years. Thanks for being this vulnerable and honest. I am proud of you. (almost two years sober here o/)
Great video Melanie. You’re lucky to get sober quite young. You'll be so happy in the future when you look back on your happy sober life. 5 years was the longest I've been sober but I'm trying again now. It’s so worth it and it’s NEVER worth going back drinking that’s for sure. I've always regretted going back and it just gets worse, never better.
This made me cry, i am so proud of you. How incredible that you chose your family, your partner, LIFE. I similarly had toxic drinking habits in the past, particularly with regards to jealous outbursts. I took some time out, went sober temporarily, and I have come back to a healthier approach with drinking, and I am better at communicating thoughts when sober so they don't bubble to the surface when I have had a drink. It is something I must keep monitoring though. And in fact, I am tempted to trial sobriety again just to experiment, to see how much I still lean on it for confidence and to feel like I am better chat/craic.... anyway I am rambling. But like you say, alcohol masks so many issues, i think we could all benefit from diving into that and facing that fact, regardless of whether we have a true problem or not. Thanks so so so much ❤❤
I loved this video! I'm coming up to 18 months sober :D so pleased and proud of myself Thanks for sharing something so vulnerable. I think it's so helpful to hear what other people's moments of clarity are when it comes to deciding to stop drinkning.
Your original video about sobriety made me question WHY i was drinking a lot - because of you I drink a lot less, and when I do drink it's intentional and not to numb any feelings - so while I still drink, I never regret it the next day because it's only a few times a year now instead of every week 🥰🥰
Been watching you for years before the hubby! I’m coming up to 2 years sober and I just want to say thank you. I am working a 12 step program and I haven’t really been doing meetings because im just sick of everyone’s shite. But, as you were telling your story it felt so familiar and I identified so much. I used to drink for the same reasons. I often feel I can’t hold a conversation and I beat myself up for not fulfilling ungodly expectation within myself. How great is it to know that so many people feel the same. I mean it’s kinda bad that we do but atleast we’re together in this. Congrats of 4 years wow! I hope to get to 25 years sober like my Nan. All the best. ODAAT Edit: might I also add when I got sober I also watched your getting sober video and it helped at the time thank you.
I remember when you first said you were going to stop drinking 4 years ago and it just looked you up to see how it went for you. I’m so glad you have been able to maintain sobriety all these years later!
I just want to let you know how proud I am of you Melanie, coming from a family myself that has severe issues with alcohol. My father being one of them.. I still live with my parents, so I'm holding onto a prayer that my father gets to that point where he wants to change for himself. Not even for me or my mom, but himself. If only people could realize sooner how smart, funny, hard working, and wonderful they are without drinking. How loved they are. Bless anyone dealing with any substance abuse right now, I'm sending so much love. 💚💚💚💚
I appreciate you being open about this. My husband will have been sober for 10 years come July 1st this year and I am so grateful every day for the fact he got sober when he did. We would never have met, gotten married and started a family if it wasn't for him giving up drinking. I'm throwing him a little surprise party on his sober birthday, cause I could not be more proud of him. And you should be damn proud of yourself too, Melanie.
I came across this video as I was typing “how to get sober “. I’m really struggling with this for the past 10 years & I can’t believe I let it go for so long but I’m so tired of putting my self in situations I don’t want to be in. I’m scared, anxious & feel lost but all I know is I don’t want to feel so embarrassed anymore of how I acted & what did I say & im just extremely tired of being tired of this rout. Thank you for sharing your story. It really helped me get through today to not drink.
It’s really troubling that most of us have to experience an extreme “incident” for us to realize that alcohol is not our friend but our enemy, but I’m glad that mine happened two days ago and I am sober at 28 years old and will go into my 30s a proud and respectable woman 🥰
This video took guts! I've had many similar experiences with alcohol and it took up a good 3 years of my life. I haven't gotten the courage to give it up completely (we have a very similar drinking culture ) but through the support of my amazing fiance and videos like this😂 I've been able to scale it down to two drinks a night and it's usually only on a Saturday. That change alone was and is still a massive adjustment. I might pull the same trick you did with setting a timeline😂 Gotta love that all or nothing motto. Best of luck and thank you for the digital support💚💚💚
I've been subscribed to your channel for the duration of your UA-cam career. I abused alcohol most nights all of my 20's (habitual drinking at least a few nightly and getting drunk on nights out). It took moving in with some housemates that were further along the alcohol-driven path of destruction to scare me into changing my behavior. That was (thankfully!) enough for me and somehow I immediately changed into limited, responsible consumption habits from ever after that (I'm now in my 50's). I still love alcohol but now always err on the side of caution & minimal consumption! Life is better this way without a doubt!
This is my 6th month sober and I don't think I'll ever go back to drinking. I've saved up so much money! It use to make me months to recover from my bar tabs. Now it only takes me a week or two to recover from my hobbies. It's a win win! I'm saving so much money and I can now spend it on things that I actually enjoy!
I have appreciated every sobriety video you’ve put out. I know you don’t know me, but I am so incredibly proud of you Melanie. You’re doing something that so many people struggle their whole lives to do, and you’re gracious enough to share it all. I unfortunately grew up with an alcoholic mother who I absolutely love but will never be sober and experience that freedom. You get to be a wonderful sober mom to your kids and they are so blessed for that ❤
Hearing about your journey to sobriety made me realize quite a few things. I feel like I think quite similarly to you, and there are quite a few compulsions of my own that I never felt like I could confide in others with for one reason or another. I had come to terms with it, but when it came to how to grow from it, I was stuck, and this helped me reorient myself.
Wow. So many things to say. First of, youre such an icon to me, your sparkly demeanor that I never could have imagined this side of you. I honestly thought that you were just a (heavy) social drinker. I could not have imagined that you had such bad days. I've just broken up with my partner because of who he became because of alcohol . But also, he said he quit, and he didn't. I asked (begged) him to stop before he ruined everything , he didn't. He lied about not drinking at work, they found out, he was fired, I was left as a sole provider. I got tired and stressed beyond my limits. Again, he said he quit, but he lied. I asked him to at least not drink and drive, he said of course not, he lied. He got in a horrific car accident, he destroyed his car and his legs. I'm so happy you got sober and have your beautiful family. You truly deserve all the wonderful things in the world. Unfortunately, my only experience with alcohol is this, that it cost me ( us) literally everything.
Thank you for your story! I can relate to many of its aspects. I had a pretty scary bottom and almost lost a lot. My ultimatum was go to a 12 step program or get out. I went and have been sober 6.5 years so far. I literally stay sober a day at a time and give the things I can’t change to God. It does feel great to never experience hangovers (unless they’re emotional😅), to be a productive member of society and to work out my problems in a therapists chair instead of a bar stool!
Thank you for this. I had a situation where I was so drunk I falling asleep and was given a tablet which my sleepy mind recognised as my nighttime medication 🫠🙃 It interacted with my mental health meds and I went into what you described as “psychosis” , I remember NOTHING from there on and I am forever mortified of how I acted that night. I was a guest at a party. I can’t look anyone from that party in the eye whenever we cross paths.
Wow this is amazing I never would have thought that… I’m from Ireland too and I’m struggling myself. Don’t want to feel so much anxiety and fear after a night of drinking this is my motivation again thank you ❤
Such a thoughtful video! I am currently trying to figure out my relationship to alcohol. I never really binge drink, but ever since I started working full time as a teacher two years ago, I do notice that I like to use alcohol to decompress after work. First when I went out to drink with colleagues and now when I am at home alone. I don't drink much, just a glass a night, but you have helped me become aware that I use it as a crutch to deal with the stress and that I should really evaluate the status quo. I have to say, in general I love watching your videos, even though your life goals really differ from mine, I find it inspiring how you are building the life of your dreams and it really motivates me to think more about my own goals in life. So thank you 💙
Melanie, thank you for being so vulnerable in this video, it must not have been easy and it will sure have a positive impact on a lot of people. I can't say that I ever had a drinking problem, because I was always afraid of not being fully conscious in places that maybe I don't know so well or with people that I have just met/don't really know, I had a few friends going through this unconsciousness after drinking and it always scared the life out of me. I am so proud of you for how far you have come! I would love to hear more about transactional analysis and shadow work, if you would like to have them as topics in future videos. And going back to the more shallow side of me, I would really love to hear your skincare routine, because you are absolutely glowing.
thanks for sharing! I have very similar tale to tell ie bingeing and blackouts - ive found balance in that I only now drink on certain occasions and then only a couple of glasses tops - feeling drunk just not of interest anymore.
Been waiting to watch this until I was fully invested. Sunday is the perfect day. I’ve had family members die from alcoholism. My step mum is a raging alcoholic who has severely affected many people in my family. This video really makes me question people’s reasons for drinking. Thank you so much for sharing. You’re so strong and it’s amazing to see someone care for themselves and their family so much in this way. I don’t think you realise how much your children will love you for it in the future. Advice to people who have family members suffering with alcoholism would be a great video if you think it’s relevant to you. Sending lots of love ❤
You are so special and loved. I really related with everything that you said. For me the last drink was about 9 years ago. My sister Franny died Young from Sirosis of the liver. I miss my sister. I am proud of you I know how hard it is sometimes just not to have that drink. I am so proud of you and I am with you in spirit anytime you are having a hard time. Just keep thinking of your kids and your wonderful husband and your wonderful life you are so blessed and I am so proud of you. God-bless You And your family always best regards Maria
Keep doing these sorts of videos. You have no idea how much these help and make others feel less silly or alone. So happy to see you glowing and shining. Sorry for your bad experiences, as a woman I can say I have had those experiences as well. Bug hugs
Thank you so much for posting this. I'm struggling with alc a lot. I'm turning into an alcoholic. I also experience that alc psychosis you were talking about. My bf was the one who pointed it out to me. He looked up my symptoms and found that. I relate to you story a lot and today Is day 1 no alcohol. It's going to be a long journey but your video has given me hope. ❤️
my experience that i think i really related with your last video was about self awareness and the same numbness. I can be pretty crazy and out of pocket when i try to talk about stuff, sometimes its the being relaxed and trying to talk about stuff i wanted to talk about, but what i thought was just about being more confident was really about being comfortable... and what i thought about myself is that i feel like a self-aware person but i avoid a lot of the problems in myself still. and i never really connected the dots that really it was an avoidant issue with myself, but im trying to stay sober just for myself and to be happy for myself and not abusive with the substance.
I came to subscribe to your channel because of your earlier quitting alcohol videos. Good to hear you're still feeling confident about your decision, and hopefully you know how much videos like this help people who find them. You don't really go searching for videos on issues like this on youtube unless things have gotten pretty bad, and then when you find others sharing their stories, it can be like a lifeline.
So amazing Melanie I was tearing up watching this. I remember when you gave up drink. You should be nothing but extremely extremely proud of yourself for making this hard decision for something you have always wanted and you totally deserve a loving stable home. So so happy for you stay strong ♥️♥️♥️
Congrats Mel! 4 years sober is massive - this is my first UA-cam comment in a long time but I felt inclined to share that I developed a really difficult relationship to alcohol when one of my parents passed away a few years ago. I began to not recognize myself when I had gotten drunk and I was running away from myself like you had mentioned in the video. So happy to say I don't drink anymore and I have learned to love it because of what it affords me (zero hangovers, no arguments with those I love when I'm obliterated, and in the literal sense of saving hundreds since I live in a major city that charges easily $20 for a cocktail). I have really difficult days, especially since I'm only in my mid twenties and I don't really have many sober friends, but then I remind myself of all the mortifying memories of my drunk self and it helps mitigate the desire to drink. It's not perfect at all, but I've learned to meet myself with empathy. I've gone back to your six months sober video a few times to keep myself in check! So thank you :) Also, would love love love a video on the subjects your therapist discussed with you! Therapy has changed my life as well!
Good for you! Been 3 years for me now. It took me until I was 60 before I stopped alcohol use. Life is so much better without it. I lost my son at age 22 due to a drug OD, and after that my drinking grew slowly, but it was truly killing me! Your story was very moving!
Congratulations on being alcohol free for 4 years! Ugh goldschlager. Remember that stuff from university! I’m on that journey now. Been 4 months now. Thanks for sharing.
I did not drink often when I was underage. But I'm proud to say that when I did, it was very responsibly (keeping track of how many drinks per hour; drinking w friends who reminded me to hydrate). And I owe a big part of that to you, dodie, and Lucy who by sharing your experiences w alcohol taught me I could have more fun with less drinks. I think I learned younger than most that it doesn't benefit me to drink "just because..." and I rarely drink w an intent to get more than tipsy. So thank you for uploading videos like this bc in my case they've had a preventative effect and have helped me form (what I think is) a healthy perspective on alcohol.
Well ... this is terrifying. I've not been scared to press 'upload' in what feels like ... years!? BLERGHHHH BEING VULNERABLE IS BLERGHHHH. But every time I open up I receive the most incredible messages and comments from people who LITERALLY change their actions for the better and it makes the terror worth it. So worth it. If you're going through this, I SEE YOU
💚
I see you too
ER...... The Irish Have A Physical Dependence On Ethanol ??? (Is It A Genetic Thing ???) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Well done Mel! You should be so proud of your openness and bravery. ❤️
Thank you so much for being so vulnerable. This is scary and I commend your journey. Good job girl ❤
I'm from Eastern Europe, and I feel like the drinking culture is very similar to that in Ireland. Your story resonates deeply with me (including strained relationships with my mom and being raised by my father from the age of 16), and listening to you has been incredibly healing. You're very brave for sharing your story - I know how ashamed I used to feel after those 'incidents.' I'd end up blackout drunk in strange places with strange people, and the unsettling heaviness in my stomach would haunt me for days afterward.
Two incidents led me to reevaluate. One was when I was lured by a 'friend' to his house while I was in a relationship. Nothing 'bad' happened - in a moment of lucidity, I locked myself in one of the rooms when I realized where things were headed. I’m so naive when I’m drunk, and I honestly thought it was just supposed to be a friendly visit. The second was at a wedding, where I got blackout drunk. Fortunately, my bizarre behaviour came out after the reception, but I still felt so much shame the next day. To this day, I don’t know exactly what happened. I guess it wasn’t as bad as some of my younger 'incidents' when I was straight-up aggressive, but I felt awful because I made a fool of myself in front of the family.
Therapy helped so much, as well as getting my priorities straight. I’ve been limiting my alcohol intake since the age of 28, at the age of 31 I was drinking once a week maximum. Later, I decided to drink a maximum of once a month. Now I’m pregnant and even the smell of beer makes me dry heave. I’m so much happier, and fitter, my skin looks better. But the best thing is the lack of that heaviness in my stomach and anxiety. I’m so proud of you and of your honesty, one of the videos you posted 4 years ago helped me on my journey. You’re an inspiration (yes, I’m also writing a novel!).
我是的二明森是的命过二号号号！
We share so many similarities. Late diagnosed ADHD, letting all of my repressed emotions out with alcohol, anxiously attached, etc. You’ve taught me so much, still struggling with a dark period in my life but I am hoping for enough stability to have a beautiful family and home like you one day. Thanks for giving me hope Melanie 🙏
哦二呢吧不过巍峨本人？
I've never been one to drink because of my mother. Your story sounds similar to hers but she never really quit. Thank you for doing what my mother couldn't. Your kids will never know the pain that I experienced and I hope they never have to understand the gratitude your family, friends, and followers like me have towards you. They will see a mom that cares more about herself and her family, no matter how difficult it may be, and that is a gift not all of us were able to receive. Congradulations on 4 years sober! Thats a HUGE accomplishment and I hope you are very proud of yourself!
我i是个i的卡吧位于二号号！
2 years of no alcohol today. Without a doubt the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. 🙂👍🏻
congrats, dude
@@antbanks415 Thanks.Nearly 3 years now. 🙂👍🏻
Great job! just curious, what are the benefits for you? :)
One day I woke up wanting to die, full of shame and regret after a night of drinking once again. That same day I found your 'six months sober' video and it made me feel like I wasn't the only one struggling with this. It's been over two years without a drink and I'm happier than I've ever been. Thank you so much for having the courage to be this vulnerable! You have no idea of how many lives you've changed. Cheers from Argentina.
我的个笨啊比亚迪诶喂肉恶补呢？
Whenever someone breaks free from the trap of alcohol, the world gets a little bit brighter. 🌞
In the USA, alcohol culture (and drug culture in general) is holding us back. If we were to stop drinking ourselves into oblivion, just think of what we could accomplish.
I agree. I have seen it make people stupid! 😂
Good for you that you gave up when you still can or it would be worst if you had continue, it's the devil way to steal, kill and destroy anyone who's vulnerable and praying that you will stay safe and strong
i think if we talked about trauma more, we could escape the cycles of addiction. also, societal changes. letting go of the ‘hustle culture’ mentality, 5 day work-weeks, & unjust pay, would alleviate lots of stress too.
For the British and Irish it’s literally seen as part of their culture. They start drinking young. It’s literally some sort of culture to go straight to the bar to have a drink after work. The folks over there are known around the world to be terrible / drunk tourists. It’s not the same. They literally are stereotyped and known for their drinking habits.
Nope.
It´s designed against you. So not really.
Congratulations Melanie 💚💚 i remember the time you quit and i can't believe it's been 4 years that's a huge accomplishment.
阔二么嗯是的雨对实习喜庆书！
I live in Newfoundland, Canada and it has a very Irish history and the drinking "culture" that comes with it is no joke. Just rampant alcoholism. I've struggled with this for years and like you, I've chosen my future self and my little family over "fun". The fun wasn't always fun, but it was almost always a persona I put on to feel interesting and cool. I also would let my jealousy or horrid feelings bubble to the surface. It would turn me into a menace. I would say and do things that sober me could not imagine doing. It is scary to be in it. You could not pay me to go back to my 20's and re-live it. I'm glad you briefly mentioned shadow work because I've found it so helpful as well. You can run and run but eventually, you will catch up to yourself. This video spoke to me on such a deep level. I never comment on anything but I felt compelled to say thank you for this video. Thank you for being open and so vulnerable. I imagine it cannot be easy to pour your heart out online. Your presence on here is breath of fresh air and I appreciate your content, especially these last few years. Much love from Newfoundland, CA.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
🎉🎉🎉 congratulations on your 4 years alcohol free.. 6 months for me, pray that I make it to 4 years 💚💚💚 god bless everyone on this journey.
This was so moving. Thank you for the vulnerability. You sounded so nervous and it just even further emphasized how much that life-style hurt and embarrassed you.
My own experiences with alcohol are beyond awful. It started with my dad, getting drunk and pacing atound and yelling all the things he couldn't say to people at work, for hours at night. I was 5 or 7 the first time he called me downstairs to smell his breath to see if i could smell the alcohol - which i had no idea what it was so why he thought id be able to answer the question?? Then hed ask me if he was slurring his words. Also had no fking idea what that meant. He'd be speaking very slowly and over emphasized to compensate so in hindsight yeah, it was very obvious. But back then i had no idea. I was scared by his yellow, scared by the questions, and scared by how long the whole process would last before he went to bed. Hours, usually. I tried to play therapist to him on those nights, to try and stop him from feeling so angry and sad, because he was my dad. I didnt want my dad to be obviously feeling so negative. Id be trying to keep my younger brother from coming down, or hearing what was going on. I got told i was so helpful after spending hours trying to fix this problem i didnt understand, only to have to start over again the nexr night.
My first significant relationship was 13 years long. He was an alcoholic years before i met him, started at 13. In his area of Louisiana, thats normal. It never stopped. The abuse during that 13 years went from mild to extreme. And the pressure to drink with him so he wasnt drinking alone, was intense. I didnt give in until i thought, what if i drank and acted towards him how he acts towards me? Hes not listening when i tell him anymore. Maybe if he sees it from the other side, he will understand.
Terrible idea. Absolutely did not work. I spent several years feeling constantly sick and even more unloved. Even the smell of walking in a liquor store now triggers my gag reflex.
My current relationship, and father to my child, limits himself to 1-2 drinks in a night, a few times a year. He asks me first if I'm ok. Theres been times where i am and say yes, and times where i wasnt and said no. Hes always respected my answer and never been upset. He doesn't change how he acts after a drink. He doesn't drink while our child is awake. He never pressures me to drink. For the first time ever in my life, alcohol isnt the goal for the adult i live with. Its never used against me. It doesn't disturb my peace. Money in our tight budget isnt spent on alcohol instead of bills or food. Im never in a moving vehicle with an angry drunk driver. Ive cried so many times, from the sheer relief of it all.
I dont think alcohol is the problem, any more than i think guns or cars are the problem. The problem is the people using objects as an excuse for bad behavior and believing that automatically justifies their selfish, abusive, angry sides, instead of trying to fix those parts of them. But i cant stress enough how much of life alcohol has damaged, or how much safer and happier i am without it in my life.
Thank you so, so much for sharing this. ❤️
@Melanie Murphy you're so very welcome. It's still hard talking about all those years, but it's talking honestly about the hard things that makes us grow as people, and as a collective society. Not speaking out about the negative effects of bad behaviors is how problematic beliefs and decisions carry on generation to generation.
Alcoholic parents almost always seem to think their drinking isn't affecting their family, or friends. It absolutely does. To this day, in his late 70s, my dad is convinced that his drinking isn't a bad thing, and it only affects him.
The reality is it destroyed his relationships with his wife and both of us kids, almost 30 years ago. It's had terrible affects on his health, even now. My mom still works because he immediately refused to the minute he was old enough for social security. She's almost 70. She pays all the bills. She works 40+ hours a week, and then has to physically take care of him because he refuses to be bothered. It's a normal thing for her to find him laying on the floor somewhere, with blood everywhere, because he fell while drunk and busted his nose, and can't figure out how to get up, because he's still that drunk. I've gotten multiple pictures of him bloody with black eyes because he fell on his face. He yells at her that she's not helping him get up when she's doing everything she physically can and he refuses to help. Or yells because he doesn't want to get up yet and she's nagging him. He's demolished multiple cars. He's been fired from almost every job ever. He doesn't see his only grandchild for more than 10 minutes because we don't know when the next break from reality will be. It's awful.
It's so so important that you realized it was a problem before having kids. You're blessing them a million times over. Kids don't recover from Alcoholic abusive parents. It changes you for life.
So proud of you! The “drinking with all guys so then you end up drinking more than your body can handle” and the “things coming out explosively when you’re drunk because you’re suppressing your feelings about them when you’re sober” parts really spoke to me. I haven’t quit drinking, but I have a much better relationship with it now. And more than anything, I’ve made changes in my life so that I’m not repressing things in the first place. I’ve followed you for years now and it’s always so helpful to hear people share their stories and experiences. Thank you for being vulnerable on the internet, it can’t be easy but it helps so many of us feel less alone in the world and in our own journeys!
是是我的您二二你呼喊的对是人参慢？
When I decided to quit drinking I went in search of people on UA-cam that quit for the reasons I did. I found one. You. I watched your videos about drinking often as I needed initial support. 18 months later I don't even think about it and it's the best decision I ever made. Thank you for being there. I'll share my own story when I am ready. It takes time to process and we don't often know ourselves as well as we think and I am still learning.
我是人鬼嫩嫩的满是水？
I am sure your husband and kids are super proud of you, I know I am!! Look at you now, I have been watching you for years and you've grown so much, you're building your dream life. I'm so happy for you Melanie 💚
😭😭😭😭💚💚💚💚
Gorgeous
Please do share more about transactional analysis and shadow work. Very relatable issues. Lots of love to you Melanie ❤
I congratulate you for getting sober while you're young. I wish I could go back in time and unhurt all the people I hurt. 12 years sober now. I hate the memory of who I was then.
I've been a person I didn't recognize while drinking, and I had some similarly horrifying moments where I had to really come to grips with the idea that "If this continues much longer it's not going to be out of character for me anymore... and I don't like that character I'm playing here.," and since then I've dramatically decreased my drinking to almost nothing, maybe a drink in 6 months. I honestly feel so much better all around.
Good for you. I think many of us alcoholics wrestle with the idea of being able to have one “every once in awhile”, but find that it is too difficult to stick to just one. I applaud you for that!
Thank you for sharing your story . You have such courage and congratulations!
Went out last night for a 'few pints' inevitably I got locked! Today I woke up and have realised I have an issue. I've just found your video and have decided today's the day to stop. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for being so vulnerable with us
Thank you for sharing your story, I've just started my journey and its only been 2 months, but I totally feel like a completely new person. I can't even begin to explain how happy I am I chose to sobriety.
Once again thank you for sharing.
Thank you for posting this! I’ve been sober for two years now and I needed this reminder of why it was so bad. Sometimes I think it didn’t affect me that much… but yeah it does
I remember when you first said you were going to stop drinking 4 years ago and it just looked you up to see how it went for you. I’m so glad you have been able to maintain sobriety all these years later! That’s so awesome congratulations!
5 years now! Can’t believe it! 🥹🥹
I remember that video you posted 3 years ago.
I'm still struggling with alcohol at 33.
24 days sober but weekends are a real trigger for me.
I just want to give 17 year old you a hug when you're talking about passing out at parties and being assaulted. Im sorry that this was your normal and i hope you know how strong you are for not only giving up alcohol, but also being able to speak about this so openly shows how well you've mentally processed your past. As someone your age (but always had a good relationship with alcohol) this absolutely should not have been your normal and I'm so sorry your relationship with alcohol led to so much trauma at such a young age. Your videos over the last few years have made me think more consciously about how I want to handle the issue of alcohol with my own son, and what I do/don't want him to see from a young age. As always, thank you for sharing ❤
Alcohol free for 1 year and 4 months, holding my first baby in my arms! Everything you talked about resonated heavily with me! Thank you so much for opening about your journey, I always felt quite lonely, especially since mine also started when I was very young..
This video is truly amazing, I had a lump in my throat watching you open up in such a vulnerable way. As a long time viewer, this is such an eye-opener to the “behind the scenes” we can be so unaware of. This video is so inspiring and I really am looking forward to you making videos about shadow work if you choose to.
🥹💚 Thank you. Posting this was difficult, I didn’t think it would be as I am used to being open but goodness…not like this. Not about my ‘shadow side’ (100% will do a video on shadow work!)
I've been so curious about your story! Thanks for being brave enough to post this ❤️
Biggest love. I cannot imagine how much it has taken to not only consider sharing the reality but filming and uploading and waiting. Thank you for sharing this, there are few people in my life I have sent your last video to in the past and it was life changing to some of one of their thought processes. Cannot thank you enough Melanie 💚🌷
Oh Lorna 🥹😭❤️
Longtime watcher that doesn’t always comment here- but I wanted to congratulate you! Being sober for 4 years is absolutely amazing and you should be so proud and thank you so much for sharing this story with us!!!! My bio-dad was an alcoholic so I had a really hard time letting myself let go enough to actually get drunk so I guess a good thing came from a bad one. Now I’m a lightweight and I rarely have more than a drink or two and I really like it. Alcohol is fun but it doesn’t own me and I enjoy the social lubricant aspect and mostly only drink with friends or in groups but I can see how easy and slippery a slope it is…. Thanks again for sharing your story with us! 💚💚💚💚
So much of what you said had me nodding in agreement. Whenever I have a really bad night, I wake up and am like "That's it. No more." but then a few days later I buy another bottle of wine and it starts over. I recently had a bad night, and one the week before, and I have decided to quit for a year. I really wanted to say six months so I could have something at Christmas, but I know I won't have just one glass if I do that. I am only (but already) six days in. I think I can only do this one day at a time, but so far my desire to live my best life is pushing me forward. I haven't come to a scenario yet where others are drinking around me though. That is always when I give in because I love the taste of wine so much and seeing it near me makes me want it. But at the moment, I have an affirmation I made that is helping me. "I choose to be sober to support my mind and my body through this important time in my life."
Alcohol addiction actually destroyed my life for over 26 years. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episode, enough to start working on my mental health.
Does he ship? Can he deliver to me here in Luxembourg 🇱🇺
He ships discreetly to your location. If you're worried about that. He has been my supplier for over a year now. No problems
Hey just got mine shipped here in Spain 🇪🇸
@miller926in New Jersey you can just buy them at the store.. I have a store 15 mins away that sells mushrooms it's amazing.
From the child of a mother who never could quit drinking for her children, her family or her husband and eventually took her own life because of the mental damage that alcoholism caused, you've done and are doing an incredibly hard and (mostly) selfless thing (yes it's for you too) but the trauma that we as kids suffered at her hands and watching her lose control uncountable times... having to care for her like a child when we were children ourselves, having her hurt us both emotionally and physically... If I had a time machine and could go back and convince her to do what you did...you can't even imagine the gratitude and joy I would feel... If I could live life again with a sober mother... What an incredible thing you are doing, you really should be proud of yourself. I know how hard it must be because my Mom, who really was an intelligent and tough person couldn't win against the pull. I know I don't have the right but I'm proud of you too.
These are so intimate details and so difficult to talk about them. Thank you for this! Please do the video of the techniques!
Your openness is amazing. Not many people would reveal their darkest moments in a public forum. I’m doing 100 days of no booze as an experiment. Over half way through.. there are so many great alternatives out there and even though it’s only a relatively short period of time, I don’t miss it at all yet.
good on you mel!
❤️❤️❤️ how mad that when we first met we were both just getting absolutely smashed, look at us now! 🥹
Hey, good job on quitting drinking for such a long time. I recently just committed to being sober for a while, and im about 3 weeks in. Its nice hearing others share their experience, so I really appreciate it.
How’s it going
@@IIIIIlIIl still doing good! I'm 45 days in. Some of my friends don't understand, but I've noticed they don't drink as much if I'm not drinking with them, so I think that's helpful. I'm saving money, and I enjoy my mornings a bit more. Planning to keep it going :)
Thank you for posting this. I was a terribly heavy binge drinker from 15-19. I still drink but only on special occasions and never more than 3 drinks in a night. It has forced me to address all the things I've been bottling up and am so glad that it doesn't define or consume me anymore. it bothers me a bit how normalized alcohol is and how people continue to make me feel weird or out of place for not drinking so much. but i suppose all that matters is that it's benefiting me and my life moving forward. other's opinions don't matter. this video makes me feel a lot more normal, less alone, and more confident in my decision. thanks again!
You are amazing congratulations on making it to 4 years you are doing well and are probably better off without it
I love how you describe the interplay of alcohol and emotions/past trauma - so important!
I had 5 stints in rehab for alcohol and other issues. 5.5 years clean. I know the person I am drinking is so removed from who I am sober. So much so, it felt like I left and some evil force took over. I did and said some truly horrible things and I’m still coming to terms with the effects my drinking had on others. I owe it to myself and to everyone to be sober, present and dependable. It’s a powerful drug. I relate to your journey.
Congratulations Melanie. Well doing. ❤ I’ve been sober for 22 years in August.
The thing that used to get me early in my sobriety was going to a family event and some of my sisters and brother were getting wasted. Also I began to watch my nieces and nephews get drunk. It wasn’t fun anymore. It was heartbreaking. So I stopped going to family events. I wished they knew what I knew. But I am of the mind that one must make his/her own decisions.
My beautiful goddaughter passed away last year of liver disease from drinking. I can’t begin to tell you how it broke my heart.
It’s a poison. You’re correct.
Thing is… once I stopped I never cared about alcohol again. Never think about. Don’t miss it. ♥️🌹 Be well lovely.
Ah Melanie, this was a much needed video to see today and im so happy it was you. hope you are well, lovey
It is so good you decided to do this when you did. I am in my late 40s and honestly, most of my friends are “functioning” alcoholics. I drink occasionally, never really get drunk and can honestly take or leave it. I’m lucky I guess.
What’s horrifying is so many women in their 40s have the same issue as you had and their kids see it. Witness it. Have to endure it.
Seeing people drunk and fighting when you’re a small child is the most terrifying thing 😔 Witnessed it myself as a child multiple times. Never wanted my own kids to experience that as it contributed greatly to my difficulty trusting people!
@@melaniemurphyofficial you know, even if they’re not fighting it is still really weird for children and confusing. I have always been a happy drunk with no issues but im still sure my children wouldn’t like it. They don’t understand how or why their parent changes.
I’m with you, keep alcohol and children as separate as you can.
I should clarify, I am not a perfect parent or even close to it. I sound very preachy and I really don’t mean to x
Alcohol and cigarettes addiction actually destroyed my life. I could remember several years ago after divorce with my wife which brought me into my disastrous journey on Alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
Amen God bless people. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health.
Can you help me with the reliable source. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Netherland. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
YES very sure of Dr.raymycology. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today
100% agree I used to have Psychosis and paranoid thoughts like "people thinking about me talking about me etc. Very odd behavior after getting off Adderall from 7-16. Antidepressants at 18-29. 31 now. I took way to much, but took about 20g of Gold caps (Psilocybin containing mushroom) I analyzed my entire life. The emotions that came out helped me understand behavior etc more. Wont ever need to do it again because I'm happy and contempt forever, but I wish more people did this to alter their perception of reality. Would help with healing much trauma
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
Absolutely would love a video on the shadow work
Just over a year ago I went sober. Your account was pivotal to this and I'm so grateful for those videos of yours that helped to guide me. Since then my life has completely changed. I was a horrible person when I was drunk and soooo selfish. I'm very socially anxious so I used drink to help me socialise and ended up getting into crowds that regularly took drugs and only liked me because I was fun to go out with. These friendships always turned out to be awful in the end, as sober these people had no interest in me and our values fundamentally clashed. After letting all of this go, I now have friends who truly like me for me, and I have a much better relationship with my boyfriend and my parents. This sort of content is so powerful and important. Thank you so much for all your bravery and love xxx
Thank you for being so brave and talking about this! Can you share the links to stuff about transactional analysis and shadow work? I would be really interested in reading that, or hearing about it if you wanted to make a video out of it :)
Oh I popped some links in but ABSOLUTELY read into it as much as you can, watch videos about these things … listen to podcasts … and bring them up in therapy. The ‘parent adult child’ model has genuinely transformed my life and how I handle conflict. Not one bad argument in 4 years (where I got out of control) 💚💚💚
Thank you for this video, I never knew alcohol induced psychosis was a thing. Reading up and watching this video I'm now pretty sure my abusive ex had that and I'm going to talk to my therapist about it to do some processing.
I stopped drinking Christmas last year, and it's HARD. I have had issues with excessive drinking and drinking as a coping mechanism for years. I finally got to a good place and then last year I started having severe IBS reactions to alcohol. I had half a standard drink Christmas Eve and was in extreme pain all Christmas day. So no more drinking for me, least not for a very long time
Thanks for being open about this, it must take a ton of courage to be so vulnerable and I appreciate it ❤❤
From how you described yourself in the past, it sounds like you look back with deep regret, shame, and embarrassment. I thought you should know that when I was watching this I was thinking how mature and well spoken you are! Very glad to hear how proud you are of yourself now because it is clearly well deserved.
We really need a video about the tharapy, transactional analysis and shadow work 💚😱💚
Just came from a Tom Holland interview about being sober for one and half years. Thanks for being this vulnerable and honest. I am proud of you. (almost two years sober here o/)
Yes please do a video on the tools your therapist gave you. I'm back to journaling and I'd love ideas on how to process life.
Great video Melanie. You’re lucky to get sober quite young. You'll be so happy in the future when you look back on your happy sober life. 5 years was the longest I've been sober but I'm trying again now. It’s so worth it and it’s NEVER worth going back drinking that’s for sure. I've always regretted going back and it just gets worse, never better.
This made me cry, i am so proud of you. How incredible that you chose your family, your partner, LIFE. I similarly had toxic drinking habits in the past, particularly with regards to jealous outbursts. I took some time out, went sober temporarily, and I have come back to a healthier approach with drinking, and I am better at communicating thoughts when sober so they don't bubble to the surface when I have had a drink. It is something I must keep monitoring though. And in fact, I am tempted to trial sobriety again just to experiment, to see how much I still lean on it for confidence and to feel like I am better chat/craic.... anyway I am rambling. But like you say, alcohol masks so many issues, i think we could all benefit from diving into that and facing that fact, regardless of whether we have a true problem or not. Thanks so so so much ❤❤
I am so happy for you and proud of you
I loved this video! I'm coming up to 18 months sober :D so pleased and proud of myself
Thanks for sharing something so vulnerable. I think it's so helpful to hear what other people's moments of clarity are when it comes to deciding to stop drinkning.
Congratulations on your sobriety one day at a time are very wise words. Have a great day
thank you so much for this video, would love videos delving into the therapy techniques that helped you ❤
Your original video about sobriety made me question WHY i was drinking a lot - because of you I drink a lot less, and when I do drink it's intentional and not to numb any feelings - so while I still drink, I never regret it the next day because it's only a few times a year now instead of every week 🥰🥰
Been watching you for years before the hubby! I’m coming up to 2 years sober and I just want to say thank you. I am working a 12 step program and I haven’t really been doing meetings because im just sick of everyone’s shite. But, as you were telling your story it felt so familiar and I identified so much.
I used to drink for the same reasons. I often feel I can’t hold a conversation and I beat myself up for not fulfilling ungodly expectation within myself.
How great is it to know that so many people feel the same. I mean it’s kinda bad that we do but atleast we’re together in this.
Congrats of 4 years wow!
I hope to get to 25 years sober like my Nan.
All the best.
ODAAT
Edit: might I also add when I got sober I also watched your getting sober video and it helped at the time thank you.
I remember when you first said you were going to stop drinking 4 years ago and it just looked you up to see how it went for you. I’m so glad you have been able to maintain sobriety all these years later!
I just want to let you know how proud I am of you Melanie, coming from a family myself that has severe issues with alcohol. My father being one of them.. I still live with my parents, so I'm holding onto a prayer that my father gets to that point where he wants to change for himself. Not even for me or my mom, but himself. If only people could realize sooner how smart, funny, hard working, and wonderful they are without drinking. How loved they are. Bless anyone dealing with any substance abuse right now, I'm sending so much love. 💚💚💚💚
Thank you for your story. It helps to hear other young women getting and staying sober. 5 days sober and ODAAT.
I appreciate you being open about this. My husband will have been sober for 10 years come July 1st this year and I am so grateful every day for the fact he got sober when he did. We would never have met, gotten married and started a family if it wasn't for him giving up drinking. I'm throwing him a little surprise party on his sober birthday, cause I could not be more proud of him. And you should be damn proud of yourself too, Melanie.
Sober many years now. I still am inspired by videos like this, thank you; however, Melanie by far is the most adorable.
I came across this video as I was typing “how to get sober “. I’m really struggling with this for the past 10 years & I can’t believe I let it go for so long but I’m so tired of putting my self in situations I don’t want to be in. I’m scared, anxious & feel lost but all I know is I don’t want to feel so embarrassed anymore of how I acted & what did I say & im just extremely tired of being tired of this rout. Thank you for sharing your story. It really helped me get through today to not drink.
💚💚💚 I teared up reading this. You are not alone. So many of us have felt this exact way you describe, I am living proof there’s a way out of it xxxxx
It’s really troubling that most of us have to experience an extreme “incident” for us to realize that alcohol is not our friend but our enemy, but I’m glad that mine happened two days ago and I am sober at 28 years old and will go into my 30s a proud and respectable woman 🥰
This video took guts! I've had many similar experiences with alcohol and it took up a good 3 years of my life. I haven't gotten the courage to give it up completely (we have a very similar drinking culture ) but through the support of my amazing fiance and videos like this😂 I've been able to scale it down to two drinks a night and it's usually only on a Saturday. That change alone was and is still a massive adjustment. I might pull the same trick you did with setting a timeline😂 Gotta love that all or nothing motto. Best of luck and thank you for the digital support💚💚💚
I've been subscribed to your channel for the duration of your UA-cam career. I abused alcohol most nights all of my 20's (habitual drinking at least a few nightly and getting drunk on nights out). It took moving in with some housemates that were further along the alcohol-driven path of destruction to scare me into changing my behavior. That was (thankfully!) enough for me and somehow I immediately changed into limited, responsible consumption habits from ever after that (I'm now in my 50's). I still love alcohol but now always err on the side of caution & minimal consumption! Life is better this way without a doubt!
This is my 6th month sober and I don't think I'll ever go back to drinking. I've saved up so much money! It use to make me months to recover from my bar tabs. Now it only takes me a week or two to recover from my hobbies. It's a win win! I'm saving so much money and I can now spend it on things that I actually enjoy!
I have appreciated every sobriety video you’ve put out. I know you don’t know me, but I am so incredibly proud of you Melanie. You’re doing something that so many people struggle their whole lives to do, and you’re gracious enough to share it all. I unfortunately grew up with an alcoholic mother who I absolutely love but will never be sober and experience that freedom. You get to be a wonderful sober mom to your kids and they are so blessed for that ❤
Hearing about your journey to sobriety made me realize quite a few things. I feel like I think quite similarly to you, and there are quite a few compulsions of my own that I never felt like I could confide in others with for one reason or another. I had come to terms with it, but when it came to how to grow from it, I was stuck, and this helped me reorient myself.
Wow. So many things to say.
First of, youre such an icon to me, your sparkly demeanor that I never could have imagined this side of you. I honestly thought that you were just a (heavy) social drinker. I could not have imagined that you had such bad days.
I've just broken up with my partner because of who he became because of alcohol . But also, he said he quit, and he didn't. I asked (begged) him to stop before he ruined everything , he didn't. He lied about not drinking at work, they found out, he was fired, I was left as a sole provider. I got tired and stressed beyond my limits. Again, he said he quit, but he lied. I asked him to at least not drink and drive, he said of course not, he lied. He got in a horrific car accident, he destroyed his car and his legs.
I'm so happy you got sober and have your beautiful family. You truly deserve all the wonderful things in the world. Unfortunately, my only experience with alcohol is this, that it cost me ( us) literally everything.
Thank you so much for sharing, this is such an important topic and I know it must have been very difficult to open up
Thank you for your story! I can relate to many of its aspects. I had a pretty scary bottom and almost lost a lot. My ultimatum was go to a 12 step program or get out. I went and have been sober 6.5 years so far. I literally stay sober a day at a time and give the things I can’t change to God. It does feel great to never experience hangovers (unless they’re emotional😅), to be a productive member of society and to work out my problems in a therapists chair instead of a bar stool!
meh, thank you
Glad you are shining light on the cancer risks
Thank you for this. I had a situation where I was so drunk I falling asleep and was given a tablet which my sleepy mind recognised as my nighttime medication 🫠🙃 It interacted with my mental health meds and I went into what you described as “psychosis” , I remember NOTHING from there on and I am forever mortified of how I acted that night. I was a guest at a party. I can’t look anyone from that party in the eye whenever we cross paths.
I have also experienced psychosis which haunts me to this day. I am mortified thinking about how I was in that moment. X
Wow this is amazing I never would have thought that… I’m from Ireland too and I’m struggling myself. Don’t want to feel so much anxiety and fear after a night of drinking this is my motivation again thank you ❤
Such a thoughtful video! I am currently trying to figure out my relationship to alcohol. I never really binge drink, but ever since I started working full time as a teacher two years ago, I do notice that I like to use alcohol to decompress after work. First when I went out to drink with colleagues and now when I am at home alone. I don't drink much, just a glass a night, but you have helped me become aware that I use it as a crutch to deal with the stress and that I should really evaluate the status quo.
I have to say, in general I love watching your videos, even though your life goals really differ from mine, I find it inspiring how you are building the life of your dreams and it really motivates me to think more about my own goals in life. So thank you 💙
Melanie, thank you for being so vulnerable in this video, it must not have been easy and it will sure have a positive impact on a lot of people. I can't say that I ever had a drinking problem, because I was always afraid of not being fully conscious in places that maybe I don't know so well or with people that I have just met/don't really know, I had a few friends going through this unconsciousness after drinking and it always scared the life out of me. I am so proud of you for how far you have come! I would love to hear more about transactional analysis and shadow work, if you would like to have them as topics in future videos. And going back to the more shallow side of me, I would really love to hear your skincare routine, because you are absolutely glowing.
Congrats on 4 years!! I’ll be 6 years sober in September. I don’t think it gets any less hard but there is a lot of joy 💚💚
thanks for sharing! I have very similar tale to tell ie bingeing and blackouts - ive found balance in that I only now drink on certain occasions and then only a couple of glasses tops - feeling drunk just not of interest anymore.
Been waiting to watch this until I was fully invested. Sunday is the perfect day. I’ve had family members die from alcoholism. My step mum is a raging alcoholic who has severely affected many people in my family. This video really makes me question people’s reasons for drinking. Thank you so much for sharing. You’re so strong and it’s amazing to see someone care for themselves and their family so much in this way. I don’t think you realise how much your children will love you for it in the future. Advice to people who have family members suffering with alcoholism would be a great video if you think it’s relevant to you. Sending lots of love ❤
You are so special and loved. I really related with everything that you said. For me the last drink was about 9 years ago. My sister Franny died Young from Sirosis of the liver. I miss my sister. I am proud of you I know how hard it is sometimes just not to have that drink. I am so proud of you and I am with you in spirit anytime you are having a hard time. Just keep thinking of your kids and your wonderful husband and your wonderful life you are so blessed and I am so proud of you. God-bless You And your family always best regards Maria
So much love to you Maria! And I am so sorry you lost your sister Franny 💔❤️❤️❤️
Keep doing these sorts of videos. You have no idea how much these help and make others feel less silly or alone. So happy to see you glowing and shining. Sorry for your bad experiences, as a woman I can say I have had those experiences as well. Bug hugs
Thank you so much for posting this. I'm struggling with alc a lot. I'm turning into an alcoholic. I also experience that alc psychosis you were talking about. My bf was the one who pointed it out to me. He looked up my symptoms and found that. I relate to you story a lot and today Is day 1 no alcohol. It's going to be a long journey but your video has given me hope. ❤️
You can do this! ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
watched your 6 months video when i first quit and related so much. now 11 months sober ❤❤
Oh my goodness I’m so proud of you!!🥹
my experience that i think i really related with your last video was about self awareness and the same numbness. I can be pretty crazy and out of pocket when i try to talk about stuff, sometimes its the being relaxed and trying to talk about stuff i wanted to talk about, but what i thought was just about being more confident was really about being comfortable... and what i thought about myself is that i feel like a self-aware person but i avoid a lot of the problems in myself still. and i never really connected the dots that really it was an avoidant issue with myself, but im trying to stay sober just for myself and to be happy for myself and not abusive with the substance.
MELANIIIIEEE i cannot believe that video is four years old. So proud of you!
Thank you for including trigger warnings at the begining, it's sooooo important to do!
I have screwed up before with this so trying to learn from my mistakes! X
@@melaniemurphyofficial All any of us can do!
I came to subscribe to your channel because of your earlier quitting alcohol videos. Good to hear you're still feeling confident about your decision, and hopefully you know how much videos like this help people who find them. You don't really go searching for videos on issues like this on youtube unless things have gotten pretty bad, and then when you find others sharing their stories, it can be like a lifeline.
Unfortunate that then UA-cam serves a Miller Lite ad after the video :/ Dumb algorithm.
Congrats Mel on 4 years! Always rooting for you! 💚
I think your "Imm quitting" video was the first video I ever watched of yours... I resonated so much with you at the time. Still do. So proud of you!
So amazing Melanie I was tearing up watching this. I remember when you gave up drink. You should be nothing but extremely extremely proud of yourself for making this hard decision for something you have always wanted and you totally deserve a loving stable home. So so happy for you stay strong ♥️♥️♥️
Congrats Mel! 4 years sober is massive - this is my first UA-cam comment in a long time but I felt inclined to share that I developed a really difficult relationship to alcohol when one of my parents passed away a few years ago. I began to not recognize myself when I had gotten drunk and I was running away from myself like you had mentioned in the video. So happy to say I don't drink anymore and I have learned to love it because of what it affords me (zero hangovers, no arguments with those I love when I'm obliterated, and in the literal sense of saving hundreds since I live in a major city that charges easily $20 for a cocktail). I have really difficult days, especially since I'm only in my mid twenties and I don't really have many sober friends, but then I remind myself of all the mortifying memories of my drunk self and it helps mitigate the desire to drink. It's not perfect at all, but I've learned to meet myself with empathy. I've gone back to your six months sober video a few times to keep myself in check! So thank you :)
Also, would love love love a video on the subjects your therapist discussed with you! Therapy has changed my life as well!
Good for you! Been 3 years for me now. It took me until I was 60 before I stopped alcohol use. Life is so much better without it. I lost my son at age 22 due to a drug OD, and after that my drinking grew slowly, but it was truly killing me! Your story was very moving!
Congratulations on being alcohol free for 4 years! Ugh goldschlager. Remember that stuff from university! I’m on that journey now. Been 4 months now. Thanks for sharing.
I did not drink often when I was underage. But I'm proud to say that when I did, it was very responsibly (keeping track of how many drinks per hour; drinking w friends who reminded me to hydrate). And I owe a big part of that to you, dodie, and Lucy who by sharing your experiences w alcohol taught me I could have more fun with less drinks. I think I learned younger than most that it doesn't benefit me to drink "just because..." and I rarely drink w an intent to get more than tipsy. So thank you for uploading videos like this bc in my case they've had a preventative effect and have helped me form (what I think is) a healthy perspective on alcohol.
Congrats I love to hear how people have changed their lives 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉