Ten years ago I would tell myself to hold him every chance you get and take videos. Make sure he works less and spends more time with the kids. Ignore what is petty and unimportant. Life is far too short. My husband died in that time.
Dear 21 y.o. me... 30 y.o. men dating women a decade younger are only doing so because women their own age won't accept their bullsh*t and you shouldn't put up with them and their nonsense either 😂 (luckily that phase didn't last!)
Don't carry that discomfort with you, and let it turn into resentment. Communicate your issues. It may be uncomfortable but they can't fix the problem if they're not made aware.
31 year old and it's astonishing how much your mindset changes from your 20s to 30s and how at peace you feel within yourself. I can't speak for everyone but a lot of my friends feel the same way.
I’m 25 now, I used to watch your videos to gain self confidence about my acne. I was probably 14-15 at that time. I felt like you were there for me as my elder sister during my breakout phase. You were , is and still will be my biggest inspiration. ❤
It's so nice to watch this as a 25 year old when I'm sure I was watching you back then, and already feeling like you at my current age is like a baby compared to who you've become! Makes me feel so much more excited about my future, I've still got so much to look forward to even before my 30's (and then SO much beyond!)
You have directly impacted my life for 10 years and I’m so glad I still watch you, we are the same age and have similar life experiences and I think at the end of the day we have all just grown up 😊❤xxxx
As a 35 y.o. who just went through some really heavy stuff, this is so nice to watch. Because one of the reasons I made it through this time is because I AM 35, not 25 anymore so I have mechanisms to cope, I know myself better and I have a lovely network of people in my life. I love being 35! You have come so far, it is lovely to reflect!
In ten years time, I wonder how much I will regret based off of low self esteem and cringe versus actually evolving and maturing as a person. I just ended a 6 year long relationship, ended my job and moved cities to start medical school. I feel like 75% of my identity and my routine is being reshaped and I wonder how much that will manifest mentally. Your outfit is giving off Morticia vibes by the way
3:19 As a 27 year old woman I completely relate. I have insulin resistance and my genetic makeup is Polynesian where the women are generally more broader and curvier than your “average” woman. So thankful I have an amazing female GP who has helped me understand how to manage my insulin resistance and weight through a body neutral lense in understanding how to listen to my body and prioritise my health over numbers or dress sizes.
This was amazing, thankyou so much ❤️ I’m 25 years old with a two and a half year old toddler and I compare myself to people 10 years older, I think because I am already in that phase with having my kid. Watching channels like yours helps me a lot with all the parenting stuff but sometimes it makes me feel insecure about my own instability and where I’m at in this moment. It was very nice to see what has happened in 10 years and how you continue to grow. This makes me excited for the future! And it makes me also realize that it’s not completely fair to compare myself with people who just have 10 year more life experience.
Succeeding in the sense that you deal with things as and when they arise such as anxiety was SUCH an “aha” moment watching this video. I worry a lot about if my anxiety will affect my baby and how I care for them when they’re born but actually I deal with it in a much healthier way and have gained new skills in coping with my anxiety when it arises. Absolutely LOVED this video Mel! Hiiiii personal development, I see youuuuu! 😍😍😍
Mel💚 You are such a huge inspiration and you had a great impact over my life. I've been watching your videos since 5 years already and gosh.. You are such a whole person! You manifest so much positivity and sweetness, and you always uplift others by being your authentic self and embracing both your qualities and flaws.. I'm very glad that your projects are going well and wish you lots of love for upcoming ones! x
Lovely video Mel, can relate to changing our outlooks and opinions with age. I don't have video evidence but some of the cr** I used to post on Facebook is testament to this. I have nothing specific to say to my past self other than "you just do you and don't overthink others' careless words/actions especially those not near and dear" it would have saved me a lot of heartache.
Being 26 now, and having followed you and watched this video 10 years ago - really just reminds me how young I am and how much I have ahead of me. And learning these things now is perfectly okay. I know I am young still, but when everyone around you has a solid career, married kids, etc, I feel like im on another dimension. But seeing little Melanie, and having thought that you had it all together when I was 15/16, and seeing you now, glowing, looking so beautiful, and you are still SO youthful, with such beautiful advice makes me feel so full and positive about whats to come - thank you Melanie
This video is so inspirationally thought-provoking. One thing that has really helped me to reflect is to maintain writing in a journal!! I've been writing since I was around 12 years old? It's great to be able to read old entries and reflect that way. I found that we tend to think back and view our lives and mindsets in the past very selectively and forget certain things that we thought about or were dealing with. I always get surprised when reading old diary entries, because in my mind back then I'd prioritise what my bigger problems are, when in reality, those bigger problems were so small in comparison to other things I was clearly dealing with but just squashed them. I always get surprised on how much I'd lie to myself in my entries too. It really helps to write whatever is on your mind and arguably even more helpful to be able to reflect on that entry a couple of months or years later.
I just turned 26 and am listening to fully functioning human audiobook again and this was just a perfect video to make me feel better and more optimistic about the future. You are really singlehandedly helping me get through my panic years Mel 💚💚💚
Lovely video Melanie! Really enjoyed it! My advice to myself 10 years ago would be to take responsibility for yourself and stop blaming others for the lack of success.
I loved what you had to say about toxic positivity. And what you had to say about your son and how you acknowledge your unpleasant emotions around him. My mother was deeply emotionally repressed and avoidant and would say she was fine when obviously she wasn't. And this lack of congruence between what I perceived and what she told me gave me some issues.
No one on the youtube platform, literally no one's talk about in depth about the actual reality like you did. Im so sleep deprived at the moment because of keeping up with my little one 7 months old baby girl, i thought i won't be able to catchup on the whole video right now but it kept me hooked throughout, Im glad i came across your channel many many years back through any one of your makeup related video. Much love to you 💕 kimi, from pakistan.
It's crazy to watch you react to the version of you I first started watching all those years ago. I remember watching food diaries as a young teen and seeing you as this older sister-type role model. Now I'm in my twenties and can see that younger you was figuring things out just as much as I am now! I wonder what thirty-something year old me would say to me right now...
💚 25 point 5 here! This is an interesting concept and i love these kind of videos. What made you choose to go from the perspective of talking to past you who won't hear these reflections vs talking to future you? I love the way youve done it though as its like you're being kind to the past self (still) inside you and catching up with current you with kind words and wisdom that you may not have before. It also works as a message to people currently in a similar area to past you! ❤
Something I've learned (the very very VERY hard way)...I deserve better than what my parents thought me to believe I deserved. They didn't know they gave me a warped sense of what healthy relationships look like. They aren't to blame for this, they were unaware. And I am not to blame for staying in a relationship for well over a decade that stole every ounce of my being from me. I know better now. I am better now. I have better now
my brother had a bmi that was "overweight," but he was probably one of the buffest athletes in my high school, so thankfully, i discoved bmi was inaccurate early on.
Hey, I’ve just turned 25 with a 2 year old and a 5 month old 🥱 it’s crazy because I feel like I’m in your stage of life now when I should be enjoying being young. I think I have postpartum depression but I have hope that my 30s will be amazing! 🥰
I have been watching your videos for many years and you’ve been such an inspiration to me💚 We are the same age and I relate to so much of your content. Thank you for still doing UA-cam! If I were to give my younger self some advice, it would be: 1) Stop making desicions based on fear, and 2) Close and meaningful relationships to other human beings are essential to your mental well-being, so invest in them.
To me from 10 years ago, There is so much that the people around you don't understand about you. That doesn't make you unlikeable or unworthy of friendships and love. Over the next 10 years, you'll slowly put the picture together piece by piece. Everything will make sense soon. Keep trying to be kind to yourself and hang on in there x
Funny you say about bf your babbies because of a UA-camr, this last sunday I finished my bf journey with my almost 25mo & I dont think I would've ever considered of going for that long if it weren't for you! I found you through your birth video just after I found out I was expecting & I definitely got a lot of positive ideas from you ❤
this made me cry. I turn 25 in 3 months and have not been coping well with that inevitability. it's so hard with the way youthfulness is pushed on us, to celebrate growing up. This was so wonderful to watch, and made me feel optimistic about my future
17:29 - I've been watching for years, but for personal reasons, don't feel comfortable commenting usually. But if you're reading this Melanie, I had to applaud you for these parenting words of wisdom. Children are hypervigilant and constantly scanning their parents for signals and cues. How you present yourself around your child will have monumental effects on who they become in adulthood. Teaching your children (especially your son) that mommy has good days and bad days, but he can trust her to be transparent about it, will teach him it's okay for him to have good days and bad days too, it's okay - and his responsibility - to vocalize that (and it's not a sign of weakness or "un-manly"), reduces his potential for passive-aggressive behavior, helps stamp out the persisting societal idea that women need to be "perfect" and aren't allowed to display (healthy) anger or sadness, lest they be marked "hysterical", etc. - the list goes on and on. I think more new parents need to embrace that extremely valuable mindset. That said, it would be amazing to see a video of you describing some principles and values you hope to pass on to your children, why, and how you've hoped to pass them on (e.g. words and affirmations, behaviors you model for them, etc.) thus far in your motherhood journey. And Melanie, if you're STILL reading this - hi! My name's Madeline. I've been following you for 9 years. I fell in love with you (okay, just a big crush!) for your content on bisexuality, which I don't feel people talk about enough and is STILL very stigmatized in straight and gay communities. I wanted to post on your recent "10 Years ... " video, but got a little too emotional. I do want to say now though - I'm not a mother, or a homeowner (quite yet), or married, or living in Ireland, and overall we don't have much in common, but I've kept watching all these years for YOU - for your unique personality, your take on life, your growth and journey, etc. - as many of us longtime followers do. Besides, it's not like most of us can't relate to at least SOMETHING you've shared with us (personally, I got/get a lot out of your videos on toxic relationships, sexuality, womanhood, eating disorders, alcohol misuse, fitness, and house reno). WHATEVER type of content you put out there, there's a chunk of us that will stick around no matter what, and are so delighted and appreciative you've decided to continue sharing past 10 years. Thanks for everything Mel 💚
Aaaaaaand I am SOBBING! No really. Sobbing. I wish I could reply here with a photo attached because oh my goodness how grateful I am that you shared these beautiful words of encouragement…had some sad news last night and this is the first thing I’ve read online this morning. My day is made. Kind words are so powerful 🥹 Beyond happy that you’ve enjoyed my content enough to have stuck around for SO LONG 😭 Followers like you are the reason I’m still here and will stay here! Thank you thank you for taking the time to share this feedback. Sending such huge virtual hugs 💚💚💚💚💚💚
@melaniemurphyofficial Aww Melanie - getting a reply from you is so special to me and really made my day! I'm so glad I plucked up the nerve to say something. I hope you guys are hanging in there with the sad news you shared you recently got. You're a badass, and I know you'll push through it with strength and poise. Remember, "in the end it’s only a passing thing, this shadow; even darkness must pass". (I couldn't find the right Braveheart quote, so we'll have to settle for some Samwise!) Love ya girl 💚
I’m 30 now, and at 20, I hadn’t begun my therapy journey or had any informative diagnoses given. I was just scared. These aren’t my words, but “some people fall in love when they’re really just in pain” (moral of the story by Ashe) might be the only words I could offer my younger self without totally shocking her system 😅
Regarding the comment about BMI (from a med student very interested in the the topic of connection between weight, nutrition and health): From the way I see it the main problem with BMI isn't that it's old, simple or has limitations but rather that doctor's treat it like something that it's not (like a very specific marker of overall health, rather than ONE, unspecific data point). Doctor's are perfectly capable of dealing with other unspecific, limited data points - for example many blood tests are very similar in that regard. Take "creatinine" for example - it's used as an indirect marker for kidney function like BMI is used as an indirect marker for body composition. When it comes to creatinine the health system overall seems able to deal with it well - you don't diagnose someone with chronic kidney failure based on ONE creatinine value because that could mean all sorts of things (for a start it doesn't differentiate between acute or chronic kidney issues, you can get falsely high values etc). But it's very useful if you want to follow change in kidney function and if the value is elevated enough you can be pretty certain that something is indeed wrong with the kidneys (like how a BMI value of 14 or 45 is much more specifically indicative of that a person might have serious health issues than BMI values 19 or 26). BMI isn't stupid or evil in and of itself, there aren't any better alternatives (all of the more specific ones are more time consuming and cost more money making them less accessible, and all the other mathematical ways in which you can connect weight and height to each other have the exact same limitations) - but it's very commonly used very badly and seeing that is driving me pretty crazy with frustration.
I would tell my past self that it’s ok to be angry and sad feel as if everything sucks because everything does suck. Sometimes life throws dog poop at you out of a speeding car window and you do not need to be grateful for the dog poop. Others might say, “but it’s so warm! Be grateful for that!” and its ok to say f that. It’s ok to want more, it’s ok to want reciprocity, it’s ok to want to be loved and valued and cherished. It’s ok to need support and friendship. It’s ok to feel bad, but pour that tumbleweed of emotion and energy and fierce desire into a willing receptacle like art, something that others can look on in their own time and say “Yes, this.” You can take radical responsibility for yourself by acknowledging that you were delt a bad hand but learning what's inside of your control. In a world of suck, you can be a little light of radiance. You can give others what you were never afforded.
Please share your skincare or skin treatments with us as i know u said u are not using fillers/botox ( i would like to avoid them to as i to am worried about them) your skin is amazing so plump and gorgeous and i would like mine to look like yours at 34 i am 30 and your skin looks younger than mine haha ❤!
I feel like the background music is bridgerton like ish the BMI thing... we still have that in college sadly What's ironic is that, in high school, I can't forget this memory, I was explaining in a Philosophy activity to the whole class how we copy what we see and all I saw was confusion in their eyes lol I think I had a toxic positive phase in high school once too. Like the quotes you see on facebook screams "Always be positive" and "when someone's feeling down, say, just be optimistic" I can't forget how I said that once to a friend and I flinched coz I haven't even said that to myself coz I know I can't. Sadly, I wasn't able to retrieve and say it's a joke. During the pandemic, I was REALLY struggling to keep up with my friends and what's harder is that I couldn't let go coz I needed them, but most times, circumstances get in the way, and after a year, I accepted it now I struggle to understand how long distance relationships work more. Red flags, me and my friends agree when we see them we say it and wave our goodbye flags while we walk away giggling like we did the most dominant thing a woman could do. Your boy has a calm area? What a nice title. I think I should change the "time-out or naughty chair/corner" to this calm area technique. I'm helping my mother understand these concepts so she could incorporate it to my little brother's childhood education at home. Ps. I feel like poorer countries are still using facebook, I don't have many friends who already switched to other apps. Our school even asks for our facebook accounts, yes, I use my personal account and some use their so-called school accounts - many of which get abandoned or hacked. Now, I have my writer's page but I haven't written anything yet. I also have a creativity outlet where I share publicly coz my personal account mostly followed by 12 people max and 5 min. like I don't get a lot of reactions. But not tech savvy youngsters are active on facebook coz it's the first app that came to my country. And funny enough, we only started using email because we learn it in computer subjects in high school, that's after we already made our first facebook accounts, mine's in 2016.
Try to enjoy the life stage you are in. To be honest you're still working on this one even now. But you're currently at university and desperate to "join the real world" and "just start living" but really you should try and enjoy university because you're lucky not to have the pressure to stay in jobs you don't enjoy or earn enough to cover all your expenses. Over the next few years you're going to be trying loads of things and you're not necessarily going to work it all out in that time but that's okay. Just try and look at yourself with as much compassion as you have for other people (again this is something we are still working on). 💚 Love this video 💚
Dear 20 year old Kendra, you’ll make it. I know life is fuzzy because of the meds you’re on and how much you loathe your body from the weight they put on you, but I don’t blame you because you don’t know any other way to feel about it. You’ll make it and things will get better. I don’t blame you for cutting yourself, because it’s the coping mechanism that’s working, but one day you won’t need it anymore because you’ll be taught better ways to deal. Please be grateful that you were never able to make yourself throw up. Please don’t be upset at yourself that you couldn’t. Ten years from now you’ll be so happy you couldn’t. That’s all I can think of for now, I love you.
Hair loss is very much normal as you get closer to 30s. I lost about a half of my hair until this point, now I'm 30. My hair changed to fine. If I lose any more after babies, I'll be bald. So far most discussions online said it all grows back and I really wish that's true. Can't imagine losing any more :(
Hair loss at 30 is absolutely NOT normal!! Go get checked. Hormones, vitamins, see hair specialist too. Check your sleep. Your body isn't functioning normally and it's a warning sign. (f ex. I was loosing a lot of hair at 19yo it was hyperprolactynemia. Once cured I have huge amount of hair now at 35). It's only "normal" to loose bit of your hair after menopause - so a hormonal change in your body. Go to a doctor, you can get your hair back.
after I had my full medical physical back in April this year, my GP doesn't say shit about my weight anymore, lol. I'm 116 kilos, that's overweight, no doubting it, maybe even obese to some "scales". But my numbers were really good, no high blood pressure, cholesterol good and bad were in good ranges, my blood sugars were in optimal range, nothing wrong with my urinalysis, we discussed my eating habits, and my GP was more than pleased with it. It's so funny, hahah, because I'm sure my GP was ready to throw down on my weight (this is in France by the way where the doctors here can be pretty fat-phobic, but my GP is really young and not jaded or indoctrinated yet, lol), until she looked at my numbers and was like, well....... ok, you look good, lol. She only gave me advice on my fitness level, which does need improvement, but otherwise, she was like, don't need another physical for a couple more years, only need to call me if you get really sick with something, lol. Also, my mom was visiting me this last couple of weeks here in the Paris region where I live, and she looked at how much I walked and how much I ate, and mind you, my mom has always had a bit of body dysmorphia, still does, even being super small now, and she was like how can you eat the way you do and walk as much as you do and not lose weight, lol, I don't know, lol, I really don't know
A message to 31 year old me: You are so close. You are only a matter of a few years away from getting everything you wanted. Stop living for the future and start enjoying the moment.
I think it's not the same to "people please" your child compared to people please strangers or random dates. Of course you make sacrifizes for your child. But you should be selective in who you make sacrifizes for.
I believe her thirties are a woman's prime Edit: A thousand calories of apples are not equal to a thousand calories of Skittles lol period... Edit (2): Allowing your past self to feel those negative feelings is such a powerful thing ... Positive and negative feelings can coexist yup! Edit (3): So much of this stuff you have to live yourself wow . Lived experience > what you read in books...
Honest review: I want to watch this video as part of your content and to support you, but for me it's too personal and feels a bit awkward to watch I'm here for about 4-5 years now, but maybe I'm a bit young of an audience to appreciate this meta-video :)
I saw this post that said 25 and under, ask your questions. 35 and older answer them. The questions brought me to tears...if only all of these young, beautiful ladies know their worth and how important they are. I was right there with ya Melanie. Watching at work or listening on my way home in my tiny apartment just trying to make it. 🤍
My advice to my younger self would be: Stop making excuses for eating animal products when you exactly know how much suffering goes into them. See a dietitian that can help you to change your diet and then align your ethics with your actions. Best feeding ever when you finally stop to fund something you find cruel and barbaric.
Think of yourself from ten years ago and write a comment to that person down here
I remember being a teenager ten years ago.
Ten years ago I would tell myself to hold him every chance you get and take videos. Make sure he works less and spends more time with the kids. Ignore what is petty and unimportant. Life is far too short. My husband died in that time.
Dear 21 y.o. me... 30 y.o. men dating women a decade younger are only doing so because women their own age won't accept their bullsh*t and you shouldn't put up with them and their nonsense either 😂 (luckily that phase didn't last!)
Don't carry that discomfort with you, and let it turn into resentment. Communicate your issues. It may be uncomfortable but they can't fix the problem if they're not made aware.
don’t lie to yourself ❤
Watching this at 25 makes me look so forward to my future insight and self, thanks melanie❤
Same 💚
31 year old and it's astonishing how much your mindset changes from your 20s to 30s and how at peace you feel within yourself. I can't speak for everyone but a lot of my friends feel the same way.
I’m 25 now, I used to watch your videos to gain self confidence about my acne. I was probably 14-15 at that time. I felt like you were there for me as my elder sister during my breakout phase. You were , is and still will be my biggest inspiration. ❤
It's so nice to watch this as a 25 year old when I'm sure I was watching you back then, and already feeling like you at my current age is like a baby compared to who you've become! Makes me feel so much more excited about my future, I've still got so much to look forward to even before my 30's (and then SO much beyond!)
You have directly impacted my life for 10 years and I’m so glad I still watch you, we are the same age and have similar life experiences and I think at the end of the day we have all just grown up 😊❤xxxx
"stop ingoring red flags when they are flapping you in the face " truth ! i laughed so hard because it's so simple
As a 35 y.o. who just went through some really heavy stuff, this is so nice to watch. Because one of the reasons I made it through this time is because I AM 35, not 25 anymore so I have mechanisms to cope, I know myself better and I have a lovely network of people in my life. I love being 35! You have come so far, it is lovely to reflect!
In ten years time, I wonder how much I will regret based off of low self esteem and cringe versus actually evolving and maturing as a person. I just ended a 6 year long relationship, ended my job and moved cities to start medical school. I feel like 75% of my identity and my routine is being reshaped and I wonder how much that will manifest mentally. Your outfit is giving off Morticia vibes by the way
3:19 As a 27 year old woman I completely relate. I have insulin resistance and my genetic makeup is Polynesian where the women are generally more broader and curvier than your “average” woman. So thankful I have an amazing female GP who has helped me understand how to manage my insulin resistance and weight through a body neutral lense in understanding how to listen to my body and prioritise my health over numbers or dress sizes.
you are one of those girls on youtube that inspire me to build my best life :,)
This was amazing, thankyou so much ❤️ I’m 25 years old with a two and a half year old toddler and I compare myself to people 10 years older, I think because I am already in that phase with having my kid. Watching channels like yours helps me a lot with all the parenting stuff but sometimes it makes me feel insecure about my own instability and where I’m at in this moment. It was very nice to see what has happened in 10 years and how you continue to grow. This makes me excited for the future! And it makes me also realize that it’s not completely fair to compare myself with people who just have 10 year more life experience.
Succeeding in the sense that you deal with things as and when they arise such as anxiety was SUCH an “aha” moment watching this video. I worry a lot about if my anxiety will affect my baby and how I care for them when they’re born but actually I deal with it in a much healthier way and have gained new skills in coping with my anxiety when it arises. Absolutely LOVED this video Mel! Hiiiii personal development, I see youuuuu! 😍😍😍
Mel💚 You are such a huge inspiration and you had a great impact over my life. I've been watching your videos since 5 years already and gosh.. You are such a whole person! You manifest so much positivity and sweetness, and you always uplift others by being your authentic self and embracing both your qualities and flaws.. I'm very glad that your projects are going well and wish you lots of love for upcoming ones! x
Lovely video Mel, can relate to changing our outlooks and opinions with age. I don't have video evidence but some of the cr** I used to post on Facebook is testament to this. I have nothing specific to say to my past self other than "you just do you and don't overthink others' careless words/actions especially those not near and dear" it would have saved me a lot of heartache.
Being 26 now, and having followed you and watched this video 10 years ago - really just reminds me how young I am and how much I have ahead of me. And learning these things now is perfectly okay. I know I am young still, but when everyone around you has a solid career, married kids, etc, I feel like im on another dimension. But seeing little Melanie, and having thought that you had it all together when I was 15/16, and seeing you now, glowing, looking so beautiful, and you are still SO youthful, with such beautiful advice makes me feel so full and positive about whats to come - thank you Melanie
Awe, I love that your little one has his own calm down spot. That is so awesome. ❤
Your skin looks soo soo good❤
This video is so inspirationally thought-provoking. One thing that has really helped me to reflect is to maintain writing in a journal!! I've been writing since I was around 12 years old? It's great to be able to read old entries and reflect that way. I found that we tend to think back and view our lives and mindsets in the past very selectively and forget certain things that we thought about or were dealing with. I always get surprised when reading old diary entries, because in my mind back then I'd prioritise what my bigger problems are, when in reality, those bigger problems were so small in comparison to other things I was clearly dealing with but just squashed them. I always get surprised on how much I'd lie to myself in my entries too. It really helps to write whatever is on your mind and arguably even more helpful to be able to reflect on that entry a couple of months or years later.
I just turned 26 and am listening to fully functioning human audiobook again and this was just a perfect video to make me feel better and more optimistic about the future. You are really singlehandedly helping me get through my panic years Mel 💚💚💚
Lovely video Melanie! Really enjoyed it! My advice to myself 10 years ago would be to take responsibility for yourself and stop blaming others for the lack of success.
I loved what you had to say about toxic positivity. And what you had to say about your son and how you acknowledge your unpleasant emotions around him. My mother was deeply emotionally repressed and avoidant and would say she was fine when obviously she wasn't. And this lack of congruence between what I perceived and what she told me gave me some issues.
Ok first of all u r glowing and love ur makeup and ur whole look and secondly loved the idea of this video very original 😍😍
No one on the youtube platform, literally no one's talk about in depth about the actual reality like you did. Im so sleep deprived at the moment because of keeping up with my little one 7 months old baby girl, i thought i won't be able to catchup on the whole video right now but it kept me hooked throughout, Im glad i came across your channel many many years back through any one of your makeup related video. Much love to you 💕 kimi, from pakistan.
I like this video for the honesty and the realisation that no one just finally has things figured out.
Yes Shakira! All jokes aside, I could write a novel with all the things I could say to my decade younger self. I am mostly just so impressed by her 💚
It's crazy to watch you react to the version of you I first started watching all those years ago. I remember watching food diaries as a young teen and seeing you as this older sister-type role model. Now I'm in my twenties and can see that younger you was figuring things out just as much as I am now! I wonder what thirty-something year old me would say to me right now...
💚 25 point 5 here! This is an interesting concept and i love these kind of videos. What made you choose to go from the perspective of talking to past you who won't hear these reflections vs talking to future you? I love the way youve done it though as its like you're being kind to the past self (still) inside you and catching up with current you with kind words and wisdom that you may not have before. It also works as a message to people currently in a similar area to past you! ❤
Something I've learned (the very very VERY hard way)...I deserve better than what my parents thought me to believe I deserved. They didn't know they gave me a warped sense of what healthy relationships look like. They aren't to blame for this, they were unaware. And I am not to blame for staying in a relationship for well over a decade that stole every ounce of my being from me. I know better now. I am better now. I have better now
I love this video idea!! brilliant
my brother had a bmi that was "overweight," but he was probably one of the buffest athletes in my high school, so thankfully, i discoved bmi was inaccurate early on.
Hey, I’ve just turned 25 with a 2 year old and a 5 month old 🥱 it’s crazy because I feel like I’m in your stage of life now when I should be enjoying being young. I think I have postpartum depression but I have hope that my 30s will be amazing! 🥰
I have been watching your videos for many years and you’ve been such an inspiration to me💚 We are the same age and I relate to so much of your content. Thank you for still doing UA-cam!
If I were to give my younger self some advice, it would be: 1) Stop making desicions based on fear, and 2) Close and meaningful relationships to other human beings are essential to your mental well-being, so invest in them.
To me from 10 years ago,
There is so much that the people around you don't understand about you. That doesn't make you unlikeable or unworthy of friendships and love. Over the next 10 years, you'll slowly put the picture together piece by piece. Everything will make sense soon. Keep trying to be kind to yourself and hang on in there x
A lovely video, thanks Melanie. I'm 50 in a few weeks and have certainly had a lot of reflection, learning and cringe. 😊
You are so cool honestly ❤ I love your videos.
Funny you say about bf your babbies because of a UA-camr, this last sunday I finished my bf journey with my almost 25mo & I dont think I would've ever considered of going for that long if it weren't for you! I found you through your birth video just after I found out I was expecting & I definitely got a lot of positive ideas from you ❤
more of this please !!
this made me cry. I turn 25 in 3 months and have not been coping well with that inevitability. it's so hard with the way youthfulness is pushed on us, to celebrate growing up. This was so wonderful to watch, and made me feel optimistic about my future
God yes, I'm turning 23 this December and somehow it feels old even when I know it's not😅
As someone who is currently 25 and slightly scared of hurtling towards my 30s, this brought me a lot of comfort ❤
You’re such a good and intelligent mother 🥹🥹 your children are very lucky
Was really enjoying this video, until the better help ad. Please research why better help is a very problematic company 😢
Why?
The outro im deaaaaad 💀 love you always!
your relationship with your son sounds so cute and lovely!
I wrote a comment on Jess’s last video about how much I love your hair now!
Amazing video idea!! ❤ gives me hope as a 25 year old, I can't wait to meet the woman I will become ❤
i got so scared when the secret came up but your thoughts on the toxic positivity that this mindset brings made me proud
17:29 - I've been watching for years, but for personal reasons, don't feel comfortable commenting usually. But if you're reading this Melanie, I had to applaud you for these parenting words of wisdom. Children are hypervigilant and constantly scanning their parents for signals and cues. How you present yourself around your child will have monumental effects on who they become in adulthood.
Teaching your children (especially your son) that mommy has good days and bad days, but he can trust her to be transparent about it, will teach him it's okay for him to have good days and bad days too, it's okay - and his responsibility - to vocalize that (and it's not a sign of weakness or "un-manly"), reduces his potential for passive-aggressive behavior, helps stamp out the persisting societal idea that women need to be "perfect" and aren't allowed to display (healthy) anger or sadness, lest they be marked "hysterical", etc. - the list goes on and on. I think more new parents need to embrace that extremely valuable mindset.
That said, it would be amazing to see a video of you describing some principles and values you hope to pass on to your children, why, and how you've hoped to pass them on (e.g. words and affirmations, behaviors you model for them, etc.) thus far in your motherhood journey.
And Melanie, if you're STILL reading this - hi! My name's Madeline. I've been following you for 9 years. I fell in love with you (okay, just a big crush!) for your content on bisexuality, which I don't feel people talk about enough and is STILL very stigmatized in straight and gay communities. I wanted to post on your recent "10 Years ... " video, but got a little too emotional. I do want to say now though - I'm not a mother, or a homeowner (quite yet), or married, or living in Ireland, and overall we don't have much in common, but I've kept watching all these years for YOU - for your unique personality, your take on life, your growth and journey, etc. - as many of us longtime followers do. Besides, it's not like most of us can't relate to at least SOMETHING you've shared with us (personally, I got/get a lot out of your videos on toxic relationships, sexuality, womanhood, eating disorders, alcohol misuse, fitness, and house reno). WHATEVER type of content you put out there, there's a chunk of us that will stick around no matter what, and are so delighted and appreciative you've decided to continue sharing past 10 years.
Thanks for everything Mel 💚
Aaaaaaand I am SOBBING! No really. Sobbing. I wish I could reply here with a photo attached because oh my goodness how grateful I am that you shared these beautiful words of encouragement…had some sad news last night and this is the first thing I’ve read online this morning. My day is made. Kind words are so powerful 🥹 Beyond happy that you’ve enjoyed my content enough to have stuck around for SO LONG 😭 Followers like you are the reason I’m still here and will stay here! Thank you thank you for taking the time to share this feedback. Sending such huge virtual hugs 💚💚💚💚💚💚
@melaniemurphyofficial Aww Melanie - getting a reply from you is so special to me and really made my day! I'm so glad I plucked up the nerve to say something. I hope you guys are hanging in there with the sad news you shared you recently got. You're a badass, and I know you'll push through it with strength and poise. Remember, "in the end it’s only a passing thing, this shadow; even darkness must pass".
(I couldn't find the right Braveheart quote, so we'll have to settle for some Samwise!)
Love ya girl 💚
I just found this. Gonna be 26 soon and I’m so freakin scared . I remember watching you and hannah back in the day!
I’m 30 now, and at 20, I hadn’t begun my therapy journey or had any informative diagnoses given. I was just scared. These aren’t my words, but “some people fall in love when they’re really just in pain” (moral of the story by Ashe) might be the only words I could offer my younger self without totally shocking her system 😅
Melanie ,kinda irrelevant but, I always think that your hair is beautiful in its natural form! 💚
Thank you for this vid!
I'm only 4 mins in and loving this content 🥲🥰👍
Regarding the comment about BMI (from a med student very interested in the the topic of connection between weight, nutrition and health): From the way I see it the main problem with BMI isn't that it's old, simple or has limitations but rather that doctor's treat it like something that it's not (like a very specific marker of overall health, rather than ONE, unspecific data point). Doctor's are perfectly capable of dealing with other unspecific, limited data points - for example many blood tests are very similar in that regard. Take "creatinine" for example - it's used as an indirect marker for kidney function like BMI is used as an indirect marker for body composition. When it comes to creatinine the health system overall seems able to deal with it well - you don't diagnose someone with chronic kidney failure based on ONE creatinine value because that could mean all sorts of things (for a start it doesn't differentiate between acute or chronic kidney issues, you can get falsely high values etc). But it's very useful if you want to follow change in kidney function and if the value is elevated enough you can be pretty certain that something is indeed wrong with the kidneys (like how a BMI value of 14 or 45 is much more specifically indicative of that a person might have serious health issues than BMI values 19 or 26). BMI isn't stupid or evil in and of itself, there aren't any better alternatives (all of the more specific ones are more time consuming and cost more money making them less accessible, and all the other mathematical ways in which you can connect weight and height to each other have the exact same limitations) - but it's very commonly used very badly and seeing that is driving me pretty crazy with frustration.
I would tell my past self that it’s ok to be angry and sad feel as if everything sucks because everything does suck. Sometimes life throws dog poop at you out of a speeding car window and you do not need to be grateful for the dog poop. Others might say, “but it’s so warm! Be grateful for that!” and its ok to say f that. It’s ok to want more, it’s ok to want reciprocity, it’s ok to want to be loved and valued and cherished. It’s ok to need support and friendship.
It’s ok to feel bad, but pour that tumbleweed of emotion and energy and fierce desire into a willing receptacle like art, something that others can look on in their own time and say “Yes, this.”
You can take radical responsibility for yourself by acknowledging that you were delt a bad hand but learning what's inside of your control. In a world of suck, you can be a little light of radiance. You can give others what you were never afforded.
Please share your skincare or skin treatments with us as i know u said u are not using fillers/botox ( i would like to avoid them to as i to am worried about them) your skin is amazing so plump and gorgeous and i would like mine to look like yours at 34 i am 30 and your skin looks younger than mine haha ❤!
Haha love those endings 😊
I feel like the background music is bridgerton like ish
the BMI thing... we still have that in college sadly
What's ironic is that, in high school, I can't forget this memory, I was explaining in a Philosophy activity to the whole class how we copy what we see and all I saw was confusion in their eyes lol
I think I had a toxic positive phase in high school once too. Like the quotes you see on facebook screams "Always be positive" and "when someone's feeling down, say, just be optimistic"
I can't forget how I said that once to a friend and I flinched coz I haven't even said that to myself coz I know I can't. Sadly, I wasn't able to retrieve and say it's a joke.
During the pandemic, I was REALLY struggling to keep up with my friends and what's harder is that I couldn't let go coz I needed them, but most times, circumstances get in the way, and after a year, I accepted it now I struggle to understand how long distance relationships work more.
Red flags, me and my friends agree when we see them we say it and wave our goodbye flags while we walk away giggling like we did the most dominant thing a woman could do.
Your boy has a calm area? What a nice title. I think I should change the "time-out or naughty chair/corner" to this calm area technique. I'm helping my mother understand these concepts so she could incorporate it to my little brother's childhood education at home.
Ps. I feel like poorer countries are still using facebook, I don't have many friends who already switched to other apps. Our school even asks for our facebook accounts, yes, I use my personal account and some use their so-called school accounts - many of which get abandoned or hacked. Now, I have my writer's page but I haven't written anything yet. I also have a creativity outlet where I share publicly coz my personal account mostly followed by 12 people max and 5 min. like I don't get a lot of reactions. But not tech savvy youngsters are active on facebook coz it's the first app that came to my country. And funny enough, we only started using email because we learn it in computer subjects in high school, that's after we already made our first facebook accounts, mine's in 2016.
happyiness and unhappyness can hold hands 💕
this was an excellent use of my time! I love your content!!
Try to enjoy the life stage you are in. To be honest you're still working on this one even now. But you're currently at university and desperate to "join the real world" and "just start living" but really you should try and enjoy university because you're lucky not to have the pressure to stay in jobs you don't enjoy or earn enough to cover all your expenses. Over the next few years you're going to be trying loads of things and you're not necessarily going to work it all out in that time but that's okay. Just try and look at yourself with as much compassion as you have for other people (again this is something we are still working on). 💚 Love this video 💚
Hey. I love your video.
Perfect timing this was my last day of being 25
Dear 20 year old Kendra, you’ll make it. I know life is fuzzy because of the meds you’re on and how much you loathe your body from the weight they put on you, but I don’t blame you because you don’t know any other way to feel about it. You’ll make it and things will get better. I don’t blame you for cutting yourself, because it’s the coping mechanism that’s working, but one day you won’t need it anymore because you’ll be taught better ways to deal. Please be grateful that you were never able to make yourself throw up. Please don’t be upset at yourself that you couldn’t. Ten years from now you’ll be so happy you couldn’t. That’s all I can think of for now, I love you.
Leaving a comment for the algorithm
Hair loss is very much normal as you get closer to 30s. I lost about a half of my hair until this point, now I'm 30. My hair changed to fine. If I lose any more after babies, I'll be bald. So far most discussions online said it all grows back and I really wish that's true. Can't imagine losing any more :(
Hair loss at 30 is absolutely NOT normal!! Go get checked. Hormones, vitamins, see hair specialist too. Check your sleep.
Your body isn't functioning normally and it's a warning sign.
(f ex. I was loosing a lot of hair at 19yo it was hyperprolactynemia. Once cured I have huge amount of hair now at 35).
It's only "normal" to loose bit of your hair after menopause - so a hormonal change in your body.
Go to a doctor, you can get your hair back.
what do u mean nobody uses Facebook anymore? of course they do
You are gorgeous 😍
💚💚💚
after I had my full medical physical back in April this year, my GP doesn't say shit about my weight anymore, lol. I'm 116 kilos, that's overweight, no doubting it, maybe even obese to some "scales". But my numbers were really good, no high blood pressure, cholesterol good and bad were in good ranges, my blood sugars were in optimal range, nothing wrong with my urinalysis, we discussed my eating habits, and my GP was more than pleased with it. It's so funny, hahah, because I'm sure my GP was ready to throw down on my weight (this is in France by the way where the doctors here can be pretty fat-phobic, but my GP is really young and not jaded or indoctrinated yet, lol), until she looked at my numbers and was like, well....... ok, you look good, lol. She only gave me advice on my fitness level, which does need improvement, but otherwise, she was like, don't need another physical for a couple more years, only need to call me if you get really sick with something, lol. Also, my mom was visiting me this last couple of weeks here in the Paris region where I live, and she looked at how much I walked and how much I ate, and mind you, my mom has always had a bit of body dysmorphia, still does, even being super small now, and she was like how can you eat the way you do and walk as much as you do and not lose weight, lol, I don't know, lol, I really don't know
A message to 31 year old me: You are so close. You are only a matter of a few years away from getting everything you wanted. Stop living for the future and start enjoying the moment.
I think it's not the same to "people please" your child compared to people please strangers or random dates. Of course you make sacrifizes for your child. But you should be selective in who you make sacrifizes for.
Oh fn hell, the secret. It was such a hack.
Is RetroEjit still your boyfriend?
Breastfeeding my baby, at 25, at 3 am while I watch hehe and I would like to be sleeping too, but it’s nice to have this to watch
BMI is very accurate for 95% of the population. It takes into account race and gender. If you're an athlete, you will be an outlier. That's it.
I actually much prefer the less thick hair, looks so much prettier to me. :)
I believe her thirties are a woman's prime
Edit: A thousand calories of apples are not equal to a thousand calories of Skittles lol period...
Edit (2): Allowing your past self to feel those negative feelings is such a powerful thing ... Positive and negative feelings can coexist yup!
Edit (3): So much of this stuff you have to live yourself wow . Lived experience > what you read in books...
The Secret is problematic in so many ways.
You dreams manifest on the other side of cringe -- YES.
Honest review: I want to watch this video as part of your content and to support you, but for me it's too personal and feels a bit awkward to watch
I'm here for about 4-5 years now, but maybe I'm a bit young of an audience to appreciate this meta-video :)
I saw this post that said 25 and under, ask your questions. 35 and older answer them. The questions brought me to tears...if only all of these young, beautiful ladies know their worth and how important they are. I was right there with ya Melanie. Watching at work or listening on my way home in my tiny apartment just trying to make it. 🤍
you know you are getting old when you start to wear red nail polish
My advice to my younger self would be: Stop making excuses for eating animal products when you exactly know how much suffering goes into them. See a dietitian that can help you to change your diet and then align your ethics with your actions. Best feeding ever when you finally stop to fund something you find cruel and barbaric.