"Dress for your fantasy self" should be a separate video. You're the first person I've heard say it. And, let's face it, no matter how much we've heard "don't shop for your fantasy self" we all have a good number of items that are for our fantasy selves that are hanging in our closets! And instead of weeding them out we need to wear them and be bold! There's a reason that fantasy self exists, and we need to step out of our comfort zones and at least give her a chance!
I used to work in the fashion industry but am now retired. I find I have nowhere to wear my outfits any more so I dress up to go to Costco or the grocery store lol.
That is so true “you can’t shop yourself out of having nothing to wear”. That’s the problem that keeps us shopping. I have 2 closets full of clothes and still have a difficult time figuring out what to wear. I have vowed to myself time and time again to stop shopping and get more creative with what I own. Hopefully this will be the year that I actually do it. 🙏🏾
I love wearing whatever I feel like on the day. Cowboy boots, maxi skirts, mens blazers, silk ties and button up vests. I do rock chick, chic, pretty, boho, femme fatal, edgy city , vintage and corporate. It freaks people at work out a bit, but that’s their problem, not mine. I get lots of compliments from strangers of all ages. Life’s short, have fun!😊❤️
My great niece put on a turquoise tulle skirt, t-shirt, and purple glitter tennis shoes to go for tacos the other day. She loved her outfit! She’s 4, and she does NOT have a care in the world what anyone else thinks of what she’s wearing! We all need more of that!
Love it!! I always allowed my sons to dress themselves when they were little. One day my four-year old decided to wear his green plaid shorts with an orange and blue striped top - cool cotton on a hot day. We were biking and an older mom complimented me on letting my son choose his own clothes. Today, he is 6 foot 5 and wears hot pink shirts and shorts, or wild turquoise and black baggy shorts for disc golf tournaments. A reflection of his personality and people love it!! Why not have fun?
Don’t listen to them! Way too many people are way under dressed!! They are wearing leggings and cardboard Tshirts saying drink sweet tea… not that against drinking tea!
I used to have people comment about my clothes on the school run. (Always other moms!) My standard answer became, "I live in a house with three boys. I take my pretty where I can get it."
I have them and I like to wear them too. I always try to take it up a notch. I always love old Hollywood. Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly were some of my fashion idols. My teenage years were the 1980’s those were the glam years for dressing. My prom dress was a formal bridesmaid outfit; it was more like a ball gown. I loved the T.V. show Dynasty to see how designer Nolan Miller would dress up Joan Collins and Linda Evans every week. The 1980’s started the rewriting of fashion rules for women in their 40’s and we have been doing ever since.
My daughters wedding last October was old Hollywood themed, all in white with touches of sage green, and her wedding dress was old Hollywood as well. The compliments did not stop all night. There was a very modern wedding next door with all those clear plastic chairs, and over the top, loud deco, and I was like, thank god my daughter has refined taste!!!😂
I am finally dressing for myself and what pleases me. I used to hate my arms and knees. So I avoided tees and shorts. Now, I wear what I want and how I want. Very liberating! I still have the same arms and knees of course, but I'm proud of where they have been.
I really appreciate your suggestion to do the opposite of the standard advice, and actually lean into dressing for our fantasy selves. I have a bunch of suits that I never wear because while I love them, I don't see others wearing them at my office anymore. This is my cue to get on Pinterest and investigate ways to style them more casually so I can actually enjoy them.
You can split them up and wear the jackets with denim or some other fabric. the skirts may be more difficult but wear the skirts with an oversized shirt and an interesting belt. Wear short shirts with flats not stilettos. Wear at least one item that's the hero of the outfit. I'm wanting to buy a red decent sized handbag to lift my blue toned clothes. Or mustard.
I'm a few days out from 60 (God's willing). Hence, you might remember to take the advice of Def Leapard: It's better to burn out than to fade away!!!!!❤😂😊❤
I'm so glad I live in a big city. I've always dressed however I want, but when I lived in a small town everyone felt the need to comment on it & sometimes accuse me of trying to get attention, but that was not at all my mindset. Now I can wear whatever my "fantasy self" desires and be totally ignored. It's bliss.
Wonderful video. Dress for your fantasy self is perfect advise. I have my capsule pieces, however, I have purchased a few "fantasy" items. It is very uncomfortable pushing your own boundaries but so worthwhile. The younger me was noticed. As I aged (and gained weight) I gravitated to clothing which downplayed everything; looser fit, drab colors, no accessories. I dressed to disappear. I recently shed 50 lbs and literally had nothing to wear. Throughout my weight loss I watched videos like yours, and others. I began to think about looking my best and dressing my best. The capsule wardrobe videos helped tremendously, so thank you! As I began wearing my capsule outfits I began receiving compliments... dare I say it? I was getting noticed. It took time to adjust to this after so many years of playing the ghost. I gained more confidence and began obtaining "fantasy me" pieces; red slingbacks, barrel cut jeans, a silk skirt, cropped sweaters. I only tried one fantasy piece every weeks or so, it was liberating. While I received comments like; "why are you so dressed up?, where are YOU going?" from those too fearful of change, I received many more compliments like; polished, classy, sophitiscated. Working past the negative comments and embracing the positive comments is very difficult, however, my reward manifested in requests for advise. Advise on how to elevate their wardrobe. Now, when I notice a co-worker/friend wearing something outside their comfort zone, perhaps a special purchase, I am the first to tell them how fabulous they look. Fantasy pieces emerge from that inner voice trying to be seen and heard. Thank you giving it a name, defining it and providing examples of how to appreciate it.
Wow, I could have written your comment about myself! I also lost 50 lbs., kept it off and bought my fantasy wardrobe, everything the best quality and exactly what I wanted for my fantasy life. Yes, I am “dressier” than most people, but I don’t care, I know I look and feel terrific. I do get those negative remarks, they’re from people who feel bad about how they look, not about how we look! But, no one dresses beautifully to make others feel bad, we do it to make ourselves feel good! I don’t care what they wear, why do they care what I wear? But, in addition to the many compliments I also get, I’ve noticed friends dressing are more like me, too (the Quiet Luxury trend is influencing some, but many are anti-fashion or just don’t care about it or didn’t shop or look at it at all). I think we, for some strange reason, need to give our fellow women a sort of “permission”, or maybe encouragement is a better word, to dress as well as they want to again. I have to constantly ignore the sly pressure to dress down, to the local uniform black or gray poly/spandex gym wear - yuck, to blend in. Why should we? Enjoyed ypur comment, thanks, friend, I know you look amazing🙂
@@kimberlyperrotis8962 How wonderful! I'm thrilled about your weight loss, congratulations. Your belief in yourself is fabulous. The confidence feels terrific knowing you look your best. Isn't it great when your friends begin to dress like you? That's why they are your "friends". Thank you for the uplifting response, it is truly appreciated.
Very clever!! 😊 I have never blended in. I don't know how to wear 'normal'. My biggest weakness is a love of designer clothes, but I look for them in op shops etc, and mend or embroider over faults or stains. Dressing should be for self-expression and joy.
I did blend in too much! I moved to the rural midwest US for grad school after growing up near NYC. I kept getting stared at and backhanded compliments until I couldn't take it anymore. After about a year of that, I began exclusively wearing athleisure and dyed my hair blonde and did anything I could to not look out of place. It eroded my self esteem because I didn't feel like myself and didn't let any of my personality shine. It's been a work in progress, but I'm finally getting back into wearing what feels like me.
I sympathize! I grew up in a small town & the minute I dressed in anything I liked someone would comment negatively on it. I can't tell you the number of times I was accused of wanting attention when actually I just really couldn't understand why they cared at all. Now, I realize it was a combo of jealousy, bullying & the crabs-in-a- bucket syndrome. If anyone tries it now, I just laugh. They wouldn't care if their life was fabulous, so clearly it's not and the universe has probably already punished them far better than any cheeky retort from me could do.
I do have my fantasy wardrobe because I live my fantasy lifestyle, pretty much. I’m retired and have no practical restrictions like children, pets (currently, but really need a cat or two), don’t do gardening or cleaning, etc. So, I buy and wear silk dresses and separates and wear them daily, even at home, weather permitting (not in high summer, just the other months). Yes, I could spill a drop of coffee or something on one, but that’s what the dry-cleaners are there for. They can get out almost anything if taken in within a day or so, otherwise I just wash them in my machine delicate cycle. I think a trip is a great time to dress for our fantasy lives, too, but there really isn’t a bad time. I think everyone should wear what they feel most beautiful and comfortable in, whatever it is, as often as possible. Life goes by fast, feel beautiful every day.🙂
@@kimberlyperrotis8962 Kimberly, I love that. So many of the comments on this post have made me smile, laugh, tear up a bit and think wonderful happy thoughts. Thanks to ALL for sharing.❤️
LOL, I recently saw the same TED talk! She's definitely inspiring. I love that she is dressing up and showing up for herself. And I agree that quote about being afraid to be seen but also dying to be seen is quite on the money. I have often thought "why shouldn't I wear a boa to the supermarket?" But I never do it out of some sense of...what? Embarrassment? Shyness? Fear, I guess. Recently though, I am trying to take a page from her book and dress in a way that pleases me and makes me feel good, even if I'm just going to the store.
This is so good, thank you, Leonie. I have a black leather moto jacket, and have had it for many, many years. I have worn it twice so far, when I gave a lecture, and for my book signing. I feel great in it, very me. However, ahem, I feel I come across as "too much," and "too cool for who I really am." Aaaakkk. So thanks for your encouragement!
@@deborahcurtis1385 haha, so cute and supportive, thank you! It's more an inner thing for me. I'm tall and noticeable, yet an introvert. So I spent my life trying to hide and make myself small. Leather jacket is pretty much the opposite of that, haha. Thank you! 😽
@@SingYourselfWell I'm an introvert too, but that's about how you recharge your batteries. I can function socially quite well and I'm sure you can too. But the point is that black leather jacket is a classic, it's not wild at all these days it's not going to garner too much attention. I got over trying to hide and one of the things was just developing more confidence which is not an introvert/extrovert issue. People who lack confidence and are extroverts are hard to take because they're trying so hard. Not all introverts lack confidence either but the ones that do are standing in their own shadow. I took note of advice and decide to make the most of myself without going overboard. An example: a lady at a lipstick counter talked me out of a neutral pinky brownish lipstick and convinced me to go for red. I was 27. RED!!! But with my high contrast looks it really works. It became my look and I copped a load of criticism from feminists about it, one of which said: you're the only girl at law school who wears red lipstick!!!. Like it was a crime. But I reasoned it did not make my brains evaporate. It was a simple move and it was the making of me. I had someone saying: 'tone it down'. But I realised she felt threatened. And if I made myself smaller she would still not be happy. I wasn't a glamor queen, I dont think about clothes and makeup so much, but I do think about style. As long as everything else is in balance, so less eye makeup for instance nothing wrong with some red lipstick. That lady was so kind, she could see I was hiding. There is so much that will make that jacket work on you, enjoy yourself and don't hide, OK? I hope to bump into you one day at Readings!
I loved your ideas about embracing our fantasy selves. I have menswear pieces that lean towards British country, tweed and plaid. Just seeing them makes me happy. I buy them second hand but have felt guilty about these purchases in the past. This video was like a weight lifted off my dream fashion shoulders. Fall is coming soon to my woods. Guess what I will be wearing? Thank you Leonie. More please.
Wow, what an eye opener of a video. Thank you for waking me up ! I have wonderful clothing in my wardrobe but only dress up in front of my mirror. Going out, I seem to blend in so I or anybody can’t notice me at all. At the same time it makes me feel dull and sad. Please, please speak more about this , what I even would call problem. I’m not afraid in going out but I can’t get myself out of this thought of wanting to be invisible when going out. What a great posting. I shall watch this more than once. Thank you 🙏 thank you 🙏
I've stopped caring what people think and wear what I want with confidence .Believe me it's liberating AND I get the best compliments.Great work Lione❤❤
When an outfit feels slick and minimalistic is when I feel my best... Tugging on your clothes after you're dressed is a sign that the style doesn't feel right...
My style is more like simple, street style, somewhat Bohemian. But I do buy fantasy pieces sometimes. So I mix them with my simple clothes like a fancy silk shirt with a pair of jeans to make them fit my style better. Thank you for another fun and helpful video.
This is a great video. I love the idea of dressing for your fantasy self. Isn’t what a five year old does all the time? It’s time for me to put some magic back in my routine even at 58. 😉
Love your "flip the script" call on the fantasy self. I think many of us do buy for our fantasy selves, and then hear all the influencers say we're not supposed to dress for her, which can be intimidating. But some of the best advice out there involves integrating her, not ignoring her. (To use a popular example, the second or "aspirational" word in Alison Bornstein's three-word system.) Also love your eye on practicality and sustainability here. Thank you so much for a great video. ❤
YESSS Absolutely!! Thank you so much for this video❤ I did this with my fantasy self pieces. I would play, come up with outfits and NEVER NEVER actually wear them. This past year I’ve made myself wear them. I mean truly MADE myself, almost like the first time I dove off the high dive. That probably sounds overly dramatic or stupid but for me it’s been true. It’s not only about “fashion” it’s about growing my confidence and self expression. THANK YOU AGAIN❤❤
My main challenge with my wardrobe is that I am home bound most of the time & just want to be comfortable. Once I realized this, I got myself more stylish lounge/athleisure wear so I don't feel like I'm schlepping around in sweats or my PJs all the time. I also have some issues with my hands now, so now small buttons or back zips or sandals with tiny buckles. I have a lot of amazing clothes that I love, but nowhere /no occassion to wear them atm. I am looking hard at some of the dresses since I'm not really comfortable wearing shorter length dresses (knee length or midi) without tights or hosiery & this only works in the winter. Sometimes I will just wear them over pants or as a duster but that doesn't work with a form fitting wrap dress. I now know to only buy maxi length summer dresses & skirts, I won't wear anything that shows my bare legs. Same goes for heels, I just can't wear them anymore so no shoes with a heel higher than 1.5 "
I do think it's hard when you're home bound and finding that balance between comfort but also looking and feeling great. Sounds like you've got that sorted though.
For me it’s all about the accessories! A funky bag or shoe, or even a scarf or belt can change an outfit completely! That’s how I bring extra life to my clothes - I get bored of them very quickly and this brings a new flavor to my wardrobe 😘
First thought being shopping when planning a trip is SO REAL!!!!! I have 2 big trips coming in oct nov. I have been ordering things non stop for 2 weeks, mainly looking for footwear, dark rinse jeans, and tops. Actually I knew I should look for items I already own. In past few days I have been looking at my purchased items for the past 5 years in order to return most of the new purchases (that are duplicates).
The best video I have seen from you so far! I especially like your idea of „dressing for your fantasy self“! I‘ve never done a challenge before, but the 75 hard style one sounds like something I might try. Thanks for the great content, Leonie!
I'm taking your advice. As I'm watching this I'm putting outfits together from my closet. I've found I recently bought them yet never wear them. I'm seeing new and different outfits along with the older items I have and I am feeling really creative! I guess I just have to be reminded to use clothes I already have. Thank you.
Thank you for this "pep talk"! I've been on a shopping spree lately & honestly don't need anymore clothes. Trying to decide which "challenge" to try. Didn't know these existed. :)
I have yet to hear anyone say to pull out and wear those fantasy self items you have. We are always told to declutter them. What a great challenge to pull them out and wear them instead. This summer I am all about trying to incorporate the tropical vacation pieces I have. I love my collection of Hawaiian shirts, skirts and even a cropped jacket. I really love wearing them.
I really enjoyed this video, especially in the current climate we're in with the economy and overconsumption. I think most of us have enough of everything and we don't need more. I would love to see a shop your closet video❤
I bought a lovely (used) mink coat last Dec and was very nervous about wearing it. All of the comments I got were positive - I wore it to the pharmacy and thrift store for example and people told me how they loved it and it sparked some great conversations!! I’m usually a person who hates attn.
I’m very anti buying new fur, but with a pre-loved piece, you’re not responsible for encouraging its manufacture years ago. So, I say, enjoy wearing it! I don’t even eat flesh foods generally, but I do have to buy genuine leather footwear and accessories as I’m allergic to plastics. I get criticized for this, but not everyone can tolerate plastics. I hope this doesn’t happen to you because of your fur. I envy you a bit, real fur is so warm!🙂
@@kimberlyperrotis8962I think leather might be side product from slaughter? 🤔 when the animal is dead, its better to use it all instead throwing things away. But I dont like animals to be killed, I was vegetarian for like 5 years. Eat meat since easter but I think Im going vegetarian again. I feel so sorry for them.. but I do have many leather items too, i cherish them very much. Im very thankful, that I can have them and I use them, until they are very broken! 😊 and I think the same as you about fur.
@@kimberlyperrotis8962Cows are slaughtered for meat food sources, so their hide is used for leather goods, rather than discarded. I too have trouble with plastic causing rashes and discomfort sadly.
I've always loved my simple neutral outfits but this year I've gone back to wearing medium heels after decades of flats, they are more comfortable than some flats and they add a bit of height and confidence to my petite frame. I've also bought a red dress, it's a light red and surprisingly it's not too showy once it's dressed down with a denim jacket and neutral accessories, but still a bold choice for me, especially for London (growing up in Italy in the 70s in a sunny climate we wore a lot of bright colours, but not in the UK). I've also bought a pair of black suede platform shoes that I sometimes wear with silver metallic or sheer black socks/tights, my friends call them my part shoes, but I never go to parties! I dress them down by wearing them under bootcut jeans. I love tote bags and buy them from animal rescue centres, they usually have great messages and unusual animal-themed art printed on them, they add spark to my outfits and can also be a conversation starter. I also have a Bowie t-shirt from H&M and a number of discreet pieces/accessories with cat and bunny prints/patterns, it's not easy to find classy ones but when I do, I buy them (e.g. a little scarf, etc.) as I love animals and they're very meaningful to me.
I found a formula outfit for summer and now my pieces coordinate easily. Just a maxi with a teeshirt - same style and fabric usually. I have about 10 combos. its so effortless.
LOVE this video! I too find myself in a "need to go shopping" mode every time I book a new travel date. I am happy to report that for my last trip I ended up putting together 90% of the outfits from my existing pieces and I am definitely shopping my closet more lately. Two of my favorite style icons [Giovanna Battaglia and Shala Monroque] are notorious for reusing their favorite pieces and I love that even women who have access to the latest and the greatest of fashion seem to gravitate towards their favorite items. Dressing for 'fantasy self' is an amazing advice because WHY NOT??? My go to icon to emulate in that department is June Ambrose - she is absolutely glorious!
I shopped myself out of anything to wear. I got rid of all my personality and mostly cheaper pieces when I started buying‘investment’ pieces. But i lost all my style personality which used to be mismatched but artistic. Now i have a bunch of higher end pieces which i never wear.
@@Thestyleinsider. I bought a few jewelry pieces……. I don’t have hair at the moment so I like wearing ear cuffs. Makes me look punk 😊 and im thinking a bold velvet print kimono can add to that vibe i want to achieve and not look bland.
I have a very big, very high-quality wardrobe that I love and don’t really need more clothes right now. So, I have been using my wardrobe budget to buy those really great accessories I always wanted. They make such a huge improvement to my outfits, I wish I had thought of doing this years ago. Unless they’re very trendy, most accessories are worth spending a bit more to get great quality and design, they get so much wear. Some of the best cost-per-wear items I have were initially expensive, like say, my favorite pearl necklace. But, if worn hundred of times as this necklace has been, they’re actually a bargain. Like my 40-year old Dior winter wool coat, which I wore every winter day for my whole career. I still love and wear it constantly- it looks new! It’s such a classic that it never looks dated, either. Yes, I choked a bit on the price, but it was well worth every penny and more. I wish I had saved more of my quality pieces, like blazers, when I retired. I just can’t find equivalent quality today at any price. Looking back at how I started this comment, I have to add that if I really love an item, I buy it whether I need it or not, really loving it and craving to wear it is enough. These “can’t go another day without” items always turn out to be my most-worn pieces. It’s those practical things that don’t get worn, like the black trousers that everyone said I had to have “black trousers are so essential!”. I have several different pairs, for different weather, occasions, etc. and I’ve never worn any of them!
You’re visiting your son in Southern California, right? Whatever you decide to bring to wear, make sure the fabrics and styles are as cool and airy as possible - no jeans or sweats! So far, we’ve had a blistering summer here (I’m actually in Northern California, but temps down south are even hotter). August is never a comfortable month anywhere in California, anyway. I finally built myself a special summer wardrobe - every single item, even jeans (white linen from Poetry), sweaters and blazers, is 100% linen, the only way I can get through June through September. I got tired of looking through my closet to find my two linen dresses, not to mention wearing the same old things. Unless I suddenly get rich enough to buy a summer cottage in Scotland or Norway, linen it is. Have a great time on your trip, it must be wonderful to be with your son again!🙂
Thank you and no he’s at high school in DC but he and I will be road tripping to Virginia to relocate him to a new school for his senior year. I miss him terribly so I can’t wait to spend time with him - he’s too far away for my liking 😭
@@Thestyleinsider. Definitely much too far! It’s so hard to be separated from a loved one, but I’m sure you’re doing what’s best for him, even though it hurts.❤
@@Thestyleinsider.i feel you. My youngest son (almost 24) actually MOVED to another country and now I’m going to be spending half my time there and working remotely. I have two other sons who live in other states and I miss them terribly too but my baby - Idk how to explain it.
I used to dress my fantasy self before! And I miss it! I stopped after having kids and I’m tentatively starting to get there..? I’ve been shopping w/ my fun self in mind and doing a couple of pieces at a time and I’m so excited. I think I really needed to just hear it though bc at times I think I’m just going to revert and keep it simple bc I’m so busy and just around the kids most of the time… ah anyway Thank you for that message 🥰 My closet is looking more like myself slowly and I’m going to just keep incorporating it everyday 😁
I grew up with a traditional family and outlook on life, but fashion is where my out of the box thinking comes to life. I enjoy being the peacock at the party even if I am still a little on the quiet side. Since everything old becomes new again in fashion, the good pieces I have invested in will always come back and while everyone is spending the money on those trends or styles i won’t have to. 😉
This was a great video! Especially liked the part about not lending in! I’ve always loved clothes, but sometimes think I will look like I’m “putting on the dog” by dressing up too much when I’m out with others. I don’t wear what I want sometimes because of this feeling. I’m going to try harder to NOT CARE!
You got this! I’ve never heard that saying before but I get it - I def think we need to try to ignore that voice as much as possible and dress to please ourselves. 🙌🏼
Please, do not care! I am always the one overdressed especially as a European in the USA. Everyone is looking but I’m always getting compliments too. Do not limit yourself because of the limitations of others.
It’s funny that you said it’s easier to fall into the trap of blending in as you get older. I’m finding the opposite, but I think that’s just me. As I age, I am caring less what others think and dressing more boldly in things I love. I watched Mollie’s TED talk a week or so ago and thought it brilliant. I too have noticed that strangers talk to me when I wear fun things. I volunteer at a nursing home and I deliberately dress up a bit, partly so they see I’ve made an effort as visiting them is a special occasion and partly because my leopard shoes or fun earrings or whatever give them something to talk about.
@@Kelly-pp1et To be fair, people are going for the classics and neutrals because of the cost of living pressures. You can always liven up beige with any number of colours but it's a good base. Also navy or blues are good bases. I think next season there will be a lot of taupe and grey.
@@deborahcurtis1385 classics have never been neutral. That is the case after the 90s . Classic doesn’t mean neutral. It’s a distorted view and there’s a reason the neutrals have been imposed globally. People are so blind smh
Thank for this video and for introducing me to the TedTalk, now I’m trying to determine which day this week I will wear my metallic gold skirt to the grocery store. ☺️
I can't! I'm tall! LOL! That used to be painful but I got over that. It can be difficult when others try to keep you down. A frenemy recently looked me up and down and said: "oh you do like to try to keep up with the young ones don't you?" I was wearing a white shirt with 3/4 puffed sleeves tied at the waist into a knot, a long sunray pleated skirt which was pink, and had a geometric pattern at the front with black, bottle green, white and pale blue going into the pink, and flat black mules with large chain on the front. black hobo Gucci bag (plain). I got the skirt new in a thrift shop. The blouse was also on sale, the shoes I've had many years and got the bag at auction years ago during lockdown. It actually looked good. She would never try such an outfit and that's not my problem. We owe it to ourselves to live our best lives and not try to hide ourselves to make others feel better. They never will and you just harm yourself. One thing I do is photograph all of my things in colour graduations, shoes, then bags, belts then summer and winter clothes. That way I get a sense of what's missing that will pull it all together, or what can be altered. I recently got a hugely expensive belt but it really does what I needed and that's worth it.
I practice Fine Friday at work! Every Friday I dress up in a suit, dress or two piece set to celebrate the incoming weekend! I get lots of appreciating looks and smiles from the people around me! I try and dress my best for parties and holidays too! All in respekt to the host/s!
Leonie, thank you for a brilliant video delivered at just the right time for me. I am a minimalist but not my fantasy minimalist which comprises understated clothes with WOW accessories, for example I love headwear - caps, bucket hats and head-wraps. Headwear is not only for bad hair days, it completes a look. I think that many of us tend to blend in rather than stand out because standing out takes confidence. But I am sure that learning to stand out imbues confidence. I shall definitely review my wardrobe and play dress up when I have spare time. And I shall definitely watch Mollie Kaye's TED talk. Thank you for your time, expert advice and encouragement.
Great video! Fashion can be so much more than only putting on an outfit every single day, but it can help us so much in beeing confident and feeling good and "seen"... kind of "wellness for our souls". We just have to be concious about what we wear and what feelings our cloths creates in us. Once checked this power of clothing we can get so much benefit and fun out of it!
I have a long standing Friday shopping and dinner date with my bestfriend. This year I have made a conscious effort to shop my closet and wear a new outfit every time we go. It really helps me to decide if the outfit will go back in the closet or in the giveaway pile. I realized early on just how many pieces I had bought for my fantasy self but never wore. It also has helped me hone in on my true style.
I've been building my "fantasy self" wardrobe w/ more classic, slow fashion pieces, but still find myself "dressing down" to not stand out in the relaxed/leisure environment of my town. No more! Thanks for your encouraging words ❤
Ugh. I do have a fantasy wardrobe because I love clothes/fashion. I then translated those looks into my realistic life, which is very active. So far so good:)
Such a great video. It really resonated with me! I have a fantasy wardrobe but lack the courage to wear it. I will definitely be part of the 75 hard challenge, and look forward to it changing my life! ❤❤❤
During my last vacation trip, I packed extremely light with essentials and what I already have and just went shopping over there, because shopping is bound to happen anyway!😂
During my career I had to travel on business a lot, and often was stuck somewhere over weekends, too. I always went shopping, it was my favorite thing to do on my free time. One can only eat so many restaurant meals and go see movies. I got so many great items this way and still use a lot of them.🙂
I’m a stylist and do “dare to have flair”. I take selfies to create my own LOOKBOOK so I can repeat successes and discover what doesn’t work. A simple tripod with a remote shutter is invaluable as I can take pictures from all angles (really important from the rear)!
Wow Leonie such an excellent 👌🏽 chefs kiss topic!! As an upcycler ♻️ this topic is CRUCIAL… thank you so much for starting this conversation… ❤️😻😘😘😘🦘🦘🦘🐨🇦🇺
Love the pictures you add to illustrate a point. Just when I think I know what you mean, your pictures take it to the next level. Often find myself stopping to study the pic a bit longer because something really appeals to me. Thanks for the inspiration!
This couldn't have come at a better time! I too have a trip to the USA (from New Zealand) and had started the thought process of what do I need to buy for it. In reality I have a closet full of clothes and shouldn't need to buy any more. This time I'm going to "shop my closet" and create some outfits that are a mix of my business style clothes and what I would wear in more casual settings. I love this type of video much more than "what are the current trends" content that most stylist do, it would be also nice to hear more about how to create an out fit, such as how to style certain items or how to create balance and cohesion in an out fit etc (in case you are thinking of other topics to cover). Thanks for the link to Mollie's Ted talk, that was very inspiring.
Every now and again I go through my wardrobe and fix any bits that don’t work or need a small change. They always result in more glam than before and although fashionable I feel unsure about wearing them in my small country town. I don’t like to overdo it but nor do I like looking like everybody who likes to be over ordinary. I am an artist and designer so you can imagine how frustrated I feel. Be bold RH, be bold!!!
Over do it! Why not? I do, and I’m just a geologist who can hardly draw a thing. Styling myself is my creative outlet, I love it. Who says it’s too much, for only you can decide that. If you feel your beautiful best in it, wear it🙂
This Is how I finally created my own style! Mixing fantasy items with everyday clothes. This has been earning me compliments on my outfits for many years... Now I hate blending in 😂
Another great video. I’ve recently looked at those fantasy self items in my closet and challenged myself to wear them. One item is a denim jacket I’ve had for years and never worn. I thought it would be a cool item but then felt I was too old for it. I generally wear sun dresses at this time of the year so I’ve been throwing the jacket on over the dresses and it actually looks pretty good. 🙂 now that may not seem very bold to most people, but it was a way for me to get over myself.
For me blending in vs standing out is total due to the weight gain . I've always had issues with my weight. I would get a lot of attention and dress to impress when I had my ideal body. I was able to keep my weight for quite a few years. Then half way through covid I just kept going up to the point I'm the heaviest I've ever been . I do know it's a mental battle and I have to commit to losing weight but I'm just not there
First I will say I have a LOT of clothes. My issue has always been, now that I've found the best way I like to style this item , why would I re-style to another look? Why would I choose to wear it "okay" when I can wear it "great"? I understand re-styling for a minimalist wardrobe, but for me, if I keep re-styling the same piece, I'll never get to wear all the clothes I have! (I know, first-world problem)
My challenge is to take pieces I’m not wearing and making them work in my wardrobe. No buying working off a rail and everyday make a new outfit. It’s much harder than just going out and buy something new. My lifestyle is different so I’m trying to find my new fantasy style and spending time in my closet 🦋
Great convo very reflective love the vid defo need to look into the ideas and suggestions that you discussed for sure defo need to do some of these things 💯💯💯😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿🫶🏿🫶🏿🫶🏿
This was a brilliant video, I’ve just recently started to really concider what I buy and what I already have. I’ve sold lots of un worn clothes online and I’m carful what I buy now , I don’t impulse buy now
I loved that Ted talk too!! Have fun in the USA! In a way, I admire women that wear "invisiwear" as she called it. It seems humble to me. But, in reality, I'm afraid it's a lack of confidence. For me, wearing the right clothing BOOSTS my confidence!! 😂 I recently said, "if I don't get a compliment on an outfit, I sell it!" That's not good especially since I must have liked it myself. Anyway, it's such a balance we have to achieve.
Thanks for sharing!! and yes I agree it is about balance and I suppose like you said at the end of the day if we love it that should be enough. Sometimes easier said than done though x
I do a version of this for work during the Christmas holiday. From the day after Thanksgiving to New Year’s Eve, I wear dressy and colorful outfits. These are the types outfits you would wear to a Christmas party. However the challenge I have given myself is to come with a fall outfit. I have long ,sleeveless, Steampunk style, coat dress. I will challenge myself to turn it into a duster jacket with jeans, boats and a white button down shirt. 😊 I will touch base with in the fall and let you know how it works out.
Totally believe in dressing as one's fantasy self. One day I might go out in full goth, another in 20s flapper attire, another just in a nicer than average contemporary outfit. Sometimes I get stares, and sometimes people surreptiously take my photo, but at the end of the day, my clothing choices have zero effect on their lives so why should they care & why should I care if they decide to?
Hi Leonie thank you for this vidéo… I just step out of my comfort zone by bleaching my hair blonde (this was a running joke with my boyfriend) but I think I would never have gone this way… but to my surprise, I love my new look and I got so many compliments! This, is just to say, it got me to style my clothes differently and your tips are just great… I’m 62 and feeling fabulous!
Yes! I have clothes from several continents. I hesitate to wear the custom outfit my Congolese student made for me. The fabric is so Bold! Can we stop the “appropriations” label. I’m inspired by the textiles and design. As a seamstress I appreciate the artistry behind them.
I did a no buy for a year. Through all the seasons. A client inspired me. She brought me things sitting idle to revamp, mend or alter. Most women have a months worth of outfits sitting in their closet. It’s the 80/20 paradox. Refresh, renew, revamp! Thanks for reigniting the fashion sensibility for me! ❤️❣️✨
"Dress for your fantasy self" should be a separate video. You're the first person I've heard say it. And, let's face it, no matter how much we've heard "don't shop for your fantasy self" we all have a good number of items that are for our fantasy selves that are hanging in our closets! And instead of weeding them out we need to wear them and be bold! There's a reason that fantasy self exists, and we need to step out of our comfort zones and at least give her a chance!
Yes totally!!! And maybe 🤔 a seperate video in this is a fab idea 👏🏼👏🏼 I def have lots more to say about it 🤦🏻♀️😂
Yes a separate video!
Well said, I agree!
Yes 🙌🙌
Yes! Embrace your fantasy self! Life will be much more fun and interesting!❤
I used to work in the fashion industry but am now retired. I find I have nowhere to wear my outfits any more so I dress up to go to Costco or the grocery store lol.
Yay!
That is so true “you can’t shop yourself out of having nothing to wear”. That’s the problem that keeps us shopping. I have 2 closets full of clothes and still have a difficult time figuring out what to wear. I have vowed to myself time and time again to stop shopping and get more creative with what I own. Hopefully this will be the year that I actually do it. 🙏🏾
Yes 🙌🏼
I love wearing whatever I feel like on the day. Cowboy boots, maxi skirts, mens blazers, silk ties and button up vests. I do rock chick, chic, pretty, boho, femme fatal, edgy city , vintage and corporate. It freaks people at work out a bit, but that’s their problem, not mine. I get lots of compliments from strangers of all ages. Life’s short, have fun!😊❤️
Perfect!!!
My great niece put on a turquoise tulle skirt, t-shirt, and purple glitter tennis shoes to go for tacos the other day. She loved her outfit! She’s 4, and she does NOT have a care in the world what anyone else thinks of what she’s wearing! We all need more of that!
So cute!🤩
Thats really inspiring! 💕🥰
We sure do 🫶🏼
Love it!! I always allowed my sons to dress themselves when they were little. One day my four-year old decided to wear his green plaid shorts with an orange and blue striped top - cool cotton on a hot day. We were biking and an older mom complimented me on letting my son choose his own clothes. Today, he is 6 foot 5 and wears hot pink shirts and shorts, or wild turquoise and black baggy shorts for disc golf tournaments. A reflection of his personality and people love it!! Why not have fun?
@@kb1625 AGREED!
My friends always say that I'm overdressed. I always say, I bought these clothes, so I'm going to wear them. 😂😂😂
Maybe your friends are "underdressed" and don't put any effort into their style. I say you go girl.
Don’t listen to them! Way too many people are way under dressed!! They are wearing leggings and cardboard Tshirts saying drink sweet tea… not that against drinking tea!
I used to have people comment about my clothes on the school run. (Always other moms!) My standard answer became, "I live in a house with three boys. I take my pretty where I can get it."
I have them and I like to wear them too. I always try to take it up a notch. I always love old Hollywood. Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly were some of my fashion idols. My teenage years were the 1980’s those were the glam years for dressing. My prom dress was a formal bridesmaid outfit; it was more like a ball gown. I loved the T.V. show Dynasty to see how designer Nolan Miller would dress up Joan Collins and Linda Evans every week. The 1980’s started the rewriting of fashion rules for women in their 40’s and we have been doing ever since.
My daughters wedding last October was old Hollywood themed, all in white with touches of sage green, and her wedding dress was old Hollywood as well. The compliments did not stop all night. There was a very modern wedding next door with all those clear plastic chairs, and over the top, loud deco, and I was like, thank god my daughter has refined taste!!!😂
I am finally dressing for myself and what pleases me. I used to hate my arms and knees. So I avoided tees and shorts. Now, I wear what I want and how I want. Very liberating! I still have the same arms and knees of course, but I'm proud of where they have been.
@@mikki3961 I promise, no one ever paid attention to your knees except u. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I really appreciate your suggestion to do the opposite of the standard advice, and actually lean into dressing for our fantasy selves. I have a bunch of suits that I never wear because while I love them, I don't see others wearing them at my office anymore. This is my cue to get on Pinterest and investigate ways to style them more casually so I can actually enjoy them.
You can split them up and wear the jackets with denim or some other fabric. the skirts may be more difficult but wear the skirts with an oversized shirt and an interesting belt. Wear short shirts with flats not stilettos. Wear at least one item that's the hero of the outfit. I'm wanting to buy a red decent sized handbag to lift my blue toned clothes. Or mustard.
I have been a “play it safe” kinda girl all of my life. I’m 57. Tired of playing it safe. I wear what I like…not what I want someone else to like.
Perfect!!! Go forth and be fabulous Yvette 🙌🏼
I'm a few days out from 60 (God's willing). Hence, you might remember to take the advice of Def Leapard: It's better to burn out than to fade away!!!!!❤😂😊❤
I'm so glad I live in a big city. I've always dressed however I want, but when I lived in a small town everyone felt the need to comment on it & sometimes accuse me of trying to get attention, but that was not at all my mindset. Now I can wear whatever my "fantasy self" desires and be totally ignored. It's bliss.
Wonderful video. Dress for your fantasy self is perfect advise. I have my capsule pieces, however, I have purchased a few "fantasy" items. It is very uncomfortable pushing your own boundaries but so worthwhile. The younger me was noticed. As I aged (and gained weight) I gravitated to clothing which downplayed everything; looser fit, drab colors, no accessories. I dressed to disappear. I recently shed 50 lbs and literally had nothing to wear. Throughout my weight loss I watched videos like yours, and others. I began to think about looking my best and dressing my best. The capsule wardrobe videos helped tremendously, so thank you! As I began wearing my capsule outfits I began receiving compliments... dare I say it? I was getting noticed. It took time to adjust to this after so many years of playing the ghost. I gained more confidence and began obtaining "fantasy me" pieces; red slingbacks, barrel cut jeans, a silk skirt, cropped sweaters. I only tried one fantasy piece every weeks or so, it was liberating. While I received comments like; "why are you so dressed up?, where are YOU going?" from those too fearful of change, I received many more compliments like; polished, classy, sophitiscated. Working past the negative comments and embracing the positive comments is very difficult, however, my reward manifested in requests for advise. Advise on how to elevate their wardrobe. Now, when I notice a co-worker/friend wearing something outside their comfort zone, perhaps a special purchase, I am the first to tell them how fabulous they look. Fantasy pieces emerge from that inner voice trying to be seen and heard. Thank you giving it a name, defining it and providing examples of how to appreciate it.
Wow, I could have written your comment about myself! I also lost 50 lbs., kept it off and bought my fantasy wardrobe, everything the best quality and exactly what I wanted for my fantasy life. Yes, I am “dressier” than most people, but I don’t care, I know I look and feel terrific. I do get those negative remarks, they’re from people who feel bad about how they look, not about how we look! But, no one dresses beautifully to make others feel bad, we do it to make ourselves feel good! I don’t care what they wear, why do they care what I wear? But, in addition to the many compliments I also get, I’ve noticed friends dressing are more like me, too (the Quiet Luxury trend is influencing some, but many are anti-fashion or just don’t care about it or didn’t shop or look at it at all). I think we, for some strange reason, need to give our fellow women a sort of “permission”, or maybe encouragement is a better word, to dress as well as they want to again. I have to constantly ignore the sly pressure to dress down, to the local uniform black or gray poly/spandex gym wear - yuck, to blend in. Why should we? Enjoyed ypur comment, thanks, friend, I know you look amazing🙂
@@kimberlyperrotis8962 How wonderful! I'm thrilled about your weight loss, congratulations. Your belief in yourself is fabulous. The confidence feels terrific knowing you look your best. Isn't it great when your friends begin to dress like you? That's why they are your "friends". Thank you for the uplifting response, it is truly appreciated.
Very clever!! 😊 I have never blended in. I don't know how to wear 'normal'. My biggest weakness is a love of designer clothes, but I look for them in op shops etc, and mend or embroider over faults or stains. Dressing should be for self-expression and joy.
I agree!
I did blend in too much! I moved to the rural midwest US for grad school after growing up near NYC. I kept getting stared at and backhanded compliments until I couldn't take it anymore. After about a year of that, I began exclusively wearing athleisure and dyed my hair blonde and did anything I could to not look out of place. It eroded my self esteem because I didn't feel like myself and didn't let any of my personality shine. It's been a work in progress, but I'm finally getting back into wearing what feels like me.
Yay!!! Good for you 🫶🏼
I sympathize! I grew up in a small town & the minute I dressed in anything I liked someone would comment negatively on it. I can't tell you the number of times I was accused of wanting attention when actually I just really couldn't understand why they cared at all. Now, I realize it was a combo of jealousy, bullying & the crabs-in-a- bucket syndrome. If anyone tries it now, I just laugh. They wouldn't care if their life was fabulous, so clearly it's not and the universe has probably already punished them far better than any cheeky retort from me could do.
Yes please! Create a video for dressing for my fantasy self! I love the idea of Turnout Tuesday, lol!
Nice!
I do have my fantasy wardrobe because I live my fantasy lifestyle, pretty much. I’m retired and have no practical restrictions like children, pets (currently, but really need a cat or two), don’t do gardening or cleaning, etc. So, I buy and wear silk dresses and separates and wear them daily, even at home, weather permitting (not in high summer, just the other months). Yes, I could spill a drop of coffee or something on one, but that’s what the dry-cleaners are there for. They can get out almost anything if taken in within a day or so, otherwise I just wash them in my machine delicate cycle. I think a trip is a great time to dress for our fantasy lives, too, but there really isn’t a bad time. I think everyone should wear what they feel most beautiful and comfortable in, whatever it is, as often as possible. Life goes by fast, feel beautiful every day.🙂
So true 🙏🏼
@@kimberlyperrotis8962 Kimberly, I love that. So many of the comments on this post have made me smile, laugh, tear up a bit and think wonderful happy thoughts. Thanks to ALL for sharing.❤️
LOL, I recently saw the same TED talk! She's definitely inspiring. I love that she is dressing up and showing up for herself. And I agree that quote about being afraid to be seen but also dying to be seen is quite on the money. I have often thought "why shouldn't I wear a boa to the supermarket?" But I never do it out of some sense of...what? Embarrassment? Shyness? Fear, I guess. Recently though, I am trying to take a page from her book and dress in a way that pleases me and makes me feel good, even if I'm just going to the store.
Yes I think what stops us is fear of judgement from others - crazy right?
This is so good, thank you, Leonie. I have a black leather moto jacket, and have had it for many, many years. I have worn it twice so far, when I gave a lecture, and for my book signing. I feel great in it, very me. However, ahem, I feel I come across as "too much," and "too cool for who I really am." Aaaakkk. So thanks for your encouragement!
It sounds like you're way "cooler" than you give yourself credit for. You jacket sounds fabulous and I bet you look amazing when you wear it. x
@@Thestyleinsider. thank you, Leonie, very sweet. Seems I have to do some energy work to be okay FEELING as cool as I look, haha.
Goodness me, you get that jacket out and work it girl! There will always be someone in line to put you down, don't you do it for them!
Get out there!
@@deborahcurtis1385 haha, so cute and supportive, thank you! It's more an inner thing for me. I'm tall and noticeable, yet an introvert. So I spent my life trying to hide and make myself small. Leather jacket is pretty much the opposite of that, haha. Thank you! 😽
@@SingYourselfWell I'm an introvert too, but that's about how you recharge your batteries. I can function socially quite well and I'm sure you can too. But the point is that black leather jacket is a classic, it's not wild at all these days it's not going to garner too much attention.
I got over trying to hide and one of the things was just developing more confidence which is not an introvert/extrovert issue. People who lack confidence and are extroverts are hard to take because they're trying so hard. Not all introverts lack confidence either but the ones that do are standing in their own shadow.
I took note of advice and decide to make the most of myself without going overboard. An example: a lady at a lipstick counter talked me out of a neutral pinky brownish lipstick and convinced me to go for red. I was 27. RED!!! But with my high contrast looks it really works. It became my look and I copped a load of criticism from feminists about it, one of which said: you're the only girl at law school who wears red lipstick!!!. Like it was a crime. But I reasoned it did not make my brains evaporate. It was a simple move and it was the making of me.
I had someone saying: 'tone it down'. But I realised she felt threatened. And if I made myself smaller she would still not be happy.
I wasn't a glamor queen, I dont think about clothes and makeup so much, but I do think about style. As long as everything else is in balance, so less eye makeup for instance nothing wrong with some red lipstick. That lady was so kind, she could see I was hiding.
There is so much that will make that jacket work on you, enjoy yourself and don't hide, OK? I hope to bump into you one day at Readings!
I've never said this - I LOVE THIS CHANNEL! ❤
Aww thank you so much x
I loved your ideas about embracing our fantasy selves. I have menswear pieces that lean towards British country, tweed and plaid. Just seeing them makes me happy. I buy them second hand but have felt guilty about these purchases in the past. This video was like a weight lifted off my dream fashion shoulders. Fall is coming soon to my woods. Guess what I will be wearing? Thank you Leonie. More please.
Wonderful!
Wow, what an eye opener of a video. Thank you for waking me up ! I have wonderful clothing in my wardrobe but only dress up in front of my mirror. Going out, I seem to blend in so I or anybody can’t notice me at all. At the same time it makes me feel dull and sad. Please, please speak more about this , what I even would call problem. I’m not afraid in going out but I can’t get myself out of this thought of wanting to be invisible when going out.
What a great posting. I shall watch this more than once.
Thank you 🙏 thank you 🙏
I’ll def make more videos addressing this topic 👍🏼
I've stopped caring what people think and wear what I want with confidence .Believe me it's liberating AND I get the best compliments.Great work Lione❤❤
Well said!
When an outfit feels slick and minimalistic is when I feel my best... Tugging on your clothes after you're dressed is a sign that the style doesn't feel right...
I agree 👍🏼
Fussing with clothing drives me crazy! It has to be easy to wear and comfortable! I AGREE!
My style is more like simple, street style, somewhat Bohemian. But I do buy fantasy pieces sometimes. So I mix them with my simple clothes like a fancy silk shirt with a pair of jeans to make them fit my style better.
Thank you for another fun and helpful video.
I love how you remind us to use what we have, so important, thanks Leoni 🖤
Of course!!
Thrifting is great for our “fantasy self”. So many ways to experiment!
So true! Thanks for the reminder 👏🏼
I wish I had more thrift stores in my area here in NYC :(
This is a great video. I love the idea of dressing for your fantasy self. Isn’t what a five year old does all the time? It’s time for me to put some magic back in my routine even at 58. 😉
So true! And YES I love the idea of putting some magic back in 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Love your "flip the script" call on the fantasy self. I think many of us do buy for our fantasy selves, and then hear all the influencers say we're not supposed to dress for her, which can be intimidating. But some of the best advice out there involves integrating her, not ignoring her. (To use a popular example, the second or "aspirational" word in Alison Bornstein's three-word system.) Also love your eye on practicality and sustainability here. Thank you so much for a great video. ❤
Thanks so much Lindsay 🙌🏼
YESSS Absolutely!! Thank you so much for this video❤ I did this with my fantasy self pieces. I would play, come up with outfits and NEVER NEVER actually wear them. This past year I’ve made myself wear them. I mean truly MADE myself, almost like the first time I dove off the high dive. That probably sounds overly dramatic or stupid but for me it’s been true. It’s not only about “fashion” it’s about growing my confidence and self expression. THANK YOU AGAIN❤❤
SO TRUE!!!! You do need confidence to wear some of your fantasy self outfits but I bet you find the more you do it the easier it gets!
My main challenge with my wardrobe is that I am home bound most of the time & just want to be comfortable. Once I realized this, I got myself more stylish lounge/athleisure wear so I don't feel like I'm schlepping around in sweats or my PJs all the time. I also have some issues with my hands now, so now small buttons or back zips or sandals with tiny buckles. I have a lot of amazing clothes that I love, but nowhere /no occassion to wear them atm. I am looking hard at some of the dresses since I'm not really comfortable wearing shorter length dresses (knee length or midi) without tights or hosiery & this only works in the winter. Sometimes I will just wear them over pants or as a duster but that doesn't work with a form fitting wrap dress. I now know to only buy maxi length summer dresses & skirts, I won't wear anything that shows my bare legs. Same goes for heels, I just can't wear them anymore so no shoes with a heel higher than 1.5 "
I do think it's hard when you're home bound and finding that balance between comfort but also looking and feeling great. Sounds like you've got that sorted though.
For me it’s all about the accessories! A funky bag or shoe, or even a scarf or belt can change an outfit completely! That’s how I bring extra life to my clothes - I get bored of them very quickly and this brings a new flavor to my wardrobe 😘
Totally agree!
First thought being shopping when planning a trip is SO REAL!!!!! I have 2 big trips coming in oct nov. I have been ordering things non stop for 2 weeks, mainly looking for footwear, dark rinse jeans, and tops. Actually I knew I should look for items I already own. In past few days I have been looking at my purchased items for the past 5 years in order to return most of the new purchases (that are duplicates).
Crazy how we automatically do that right? 😭
The best video I have seen from you so far! I especially like your idea of „dressing for your fantasy self“! I‘ve never done a challenge before, but the 75 hard style one sounds like something I might try. Thanks for the great content, Leonie!
Thank you so much!! 😊
Unfortunately, my fantasy self is thinner, taller and younger!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Ah that's funny :)
Whose isn't 😅😊
I'm taking your advice. As I'm watching this I'm putting outfits together from my closet. I've found I recently bought them yet never wear them. I'm seeing new and different outfits along with the older items I have and I am feeling really creative! I guess I just have to be reminded to use clothes I already have. Thank you.
Love that! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Thank you for this "pep talk"! I've been on a shopping spree lately & honestly don't need anymore clothes. Trying to decide which "challenge" to try. Didn't know these existed. :)
Maybe start small with a slow buy month?
I have yet to hear anyone say to pull out and wear those fantasy self items you have. We are always told to declutter them. What a great challenge to pull them out and wear them instead. This summer I am all about trying to incorporate the tropical vacation pieces I have. I love my collection of Hawaiian shirts, skirts and even a cropped jacket. I really love wearing them.
Yay!!! Enjoy wearing them 🏝️
I really enjoyed this video, especially in the current climate we're in with the economy and overconsumption. I think most of us have enough of everything and we don't need more. I would love to see a shop your closet video❤
So true and yes that’s a great idea- I will def do a shop my closet style video 🙏🏼
I bought a lovely (used) mink coat last Dec and was very nervous about wearing it. All of the comments I got were positive - I wore it to the pharmacy and thrift store for example and people told me how they loved it and it sparked some great conversations!! I’m usually a person who hates attn.
That’s fabulous - yay 🙌🏼
I’m very anti buying new fur, but with a pre-loved piece, you’re not responsible for encouraging its manufacture years ago. So, I say, enjoy wearing it! I don’t even eat flesh foods generally, but I do have to buy genuine leather footwear and accessories as I’m allergic to plastics. I get criticized for this, but not everyone can tolerate plastics. I hope this doesn’t happen to you because of your fur. I envy you a bit, real fur is so warm!🙂
@@kimberlyperrotis8962I think leather might be side product from slaughter? 🤔 when the animal is dead, its better to use it all instead throwing things away. But I dont like animals to be killed, I was vegetarian for like 5 years. Eat meat since easter but I think Im going vegetarian again. I feel so sorry for them.. but I do have many leather items too, i cherish them very much. Im very thankful, that I can have them and I use them, until they are very broken! 😊 and I think the same as you about fur.
@@kimberlyperrotis8962Cows are slaughtered for meat food sources, so their hide is used for leather goods, rather than discarded. I too have trouble with plastic causing rashes and discomfort sadly.
I've always loved my simple neutral outfits but this year I've gone back to wearing medium heels after decades of flats, they are more comfortable than some flats and they add a bit of height and confidence to my petite frame. I've also bought a red dress, it's a light red and surprisingly it's not too showy once it's dressed down with a denim jacket and neutral accessories, but still a bold choice for me, especially for London (growing up in Italy in the 70s in a sunny climate we wore a lot of bright colours, but not in the UK).
I've also bought a pair of black suede platform shoes that I sometimes wear with silver metallic or sheer black socks/tights, my friends call them my part shoes, but I never go to parties! I dress them down by wearing them under bootcut jeans.
I love tote bags and buy them from animal rescue centres, they usually have great messages and unusual animal-themed art printed on them, they add spark to my outfits and can also be a conversation starter. I also have a Bowie t-shirt from H&M and a number of discreet pieces/accessories with cat and bunny prints/patterns, it's not easy to find classy ones but when I do, I buy them (e.g. a little scarf, etc.) as I love animals and they're very meaningful to me.
Fabulous!!!
I found a formula outfit for summer and now my pieces coordinate easily. Just a maxi with a teeshirt - same style and fabric usually. I have about 10 combos. its so effortless.
That sounds perfect!!!!
LOVE this video! I too find myself in a "need to go shopping" mode every time I book a new travel date. I am happy to report that for my last trip I ended up putting together 90% of the outfits from my existing pieces and I am definitely shopping my closet more lately. Two of my favorite style icons [Giovanna Battaglia and Shala Monroque] are notorious for reusing their favorite pieces and I love that even women who have access to the latest and the greatest of fashion seem to gravitate towards their favorite items. Dressing for 'fantasy self' is an amazing advice because WHY NOT??? My go to icon to emulate in that department is June Ambrose - she is absolutely glorious!
Yay!!!
I shopped myself out of anything to wear. I got rid of all my personality and mostly cheaper pieces when I started buying‘investment’ pieces. But i lost all my style personality which used to be mismatched but artistic. Now i have a bunch of higher end pieces which i never wear.
That is such a common thing to happen. Can you add in some fun pieces to stamp your classics with a touch of your personal style?
@@Thestyleinsider. I bought a few jewelry pieces……. I don’t have hair at the moment so I like wearing ear cuffs. Makes me look punk 😊 and im thinking a bold velvet print kimono can add to that vibe i want to achieve and not look bland.
I have a very big, very high-quality wardrobe that I love and don’t really need more clothes right now. So, I have been using my wardrobe budget to buy those really great accessories I always wanted. They make such a huge improvement to my outfits, I wish I had thought of doing this years ago. Unless they’re very trendy, most accessories are worth spending a bit more to get great quality and design, they get so much wear. Some of the best cost-per-wear items I have were initially expensive, like say, my favorite pearl necklace. But, if worn hundred of times as this necklace has been, they’re actually a bargain. Like my 40-year old Dior winter wool coat, which I wore every winter day for my whole career. I still love and wear it constantly- it looks new! It’s such a classic that it never looks dated, either. Yes, I choked a bit on the price, but it was well worth every penny and more. I wish I had saved more of my quality pieces, like blazers, when I retired. I just can’t find equivalent quality today at any price. Looking back at how I started this comment, I have to add that if I really love an item, I buy it whether I need it or not, really loving it and craving to wear it is enough. These “can’t go another day without” items always turn out to be my most-worn pieces. It’s those practical things that don’t get worn, like the black trousers that everyone said I had to have “black trousers are so essential!”. I have several different pairs, for different weather, occasions, etc. and I’ve never worn any of them!
I love this Kimberly! Makes so much sense to invest in some great accessories. Where do you tend to buy your favourites?
You’re visiting your son in Southern California, right? Whatever you decide to bring to wear, make sure the fabrics and styles are as cool and airy as possible - no jeans or sweats! So far, we’ve had a blistering summer here (I’m actually in Northern California, but temps down south are even hotter). August is never a comfortable month anywhere in California, anyway. I finally built myself a special summer wardrobe - every single item, even jeans (white linen from Poetry), sweaters and blazers, is 100% linen, the only way I can get through June through September. I got tired of looking through my closet to find my two linen dresses, not to mention wearing the same old things. Unless I suddenly get rich enough to buy a summer cottage in Scotland or Norway, linen it is. Have a great time on your trip, it must be wonderful to be with your son again!🙂
Thank you and no he’s at high school in DC but he and I will be road tripping to Virginia to relocate him to a new school for his senior year. I miss him terribly so I can’t wait to spend time with him - he’s too far away for my liking 😭
@@Thestyleinsider. Definitely much too far! It’s so hard to be separated from a loved one, but I’m sure you’re doing what’s best for him, even though it hurts.❤
@@Thestyleinsider.i feel you. My youngest son (almost 24) actually MOVED to another country and now I’m going to be spending half my time there and working remotely. I have two other sons who live in other states and I miss them terribly too but my baby - Idk how to explain it.
Depends. I'm in SoCal and inland = hot and the desert = fire .. lol. I'm coastal SoCal and it can be down right chilly, overcast, damp and or humid.
LINEN - i 100% agree. best thing ever for hot weather- NOrth IDaho CDA here.
I used to dress my fantasy self before! And I miss it! I stopped after having kids and I’m tentatively starting to get there..? I’ve been shopping w/ my fun self in mind and doing a couple of pieces at a time and I’m so excited. I think I really needed to just hear it though bc at times I think I’m just going to revert and keep it simple bc I’m so busy and just around the kids most of the time… ah anyway Thank you for that message 🥰 My closet is looking more like myself slowly and I’m going to just keep incorporating it everyday 😁
Awesome!!!! Go girl 👏🏼
I grew up with a traditional family and outlook on life, but fashion is where my out of the box thinking comes to life. I enjoy being the peacock at the party even if I am still a little on the quiet side. Since everything old becomes new again in fashion, the good pieces I have invested in will always come back and while everyone is spending the money on those trends or styles i won’t have to. 😉
Perfect!
This was a great video! Especially liked the part about not lending in! I’ve always loved clothes, but sometimes think I will look like I’m “putting on the dog” by dressing up too much when I’m out with others. I don’t wear what I want sometimes because of this feeling. I’m going to try harder to NOT CARE!
You got this! I’ve never heard that saying before but I get it - I def think we need to try to ignore that voice as much as possible and dress to please ourselves. 🙌🏼
Please, do not care! I am always the one overdressed especially as a European in the USA. Everyone is looking but I’m always getting compliments too. Do not limit yourself because of the limitations of others.
It’s funny that you said it’s easier to fall into the trap of blending in as you get older. I’m finding the opposite, but I think that’s just me. As I age, I am caring less what others think and dressing more boldly in things I love. I watched Mollie’s TED talk a week or so ago and thought it brilliant. I too have noticed that strangers talk to me when I wear fun things. I volunteer at a nursing home and I deliberately dress up a bit, partly so they see I’ve made an effort as visiting them is a special occasion and partly because my leopard shoes or fun earrings or whatever give them something to talk about.
I love hearing this Carla x
And this is Why I love your channel 💕 because you show me HOW x
Aww I bet you know exactly what makes you look and feel great! x
I am the lady in red when everybody else is wearing tan😜👍🇿🇦
Brilliant!!!! ❤️
Excellent! I’m tired of all the sad beige style influencers that don’t realize what they promote has actually been actually imposed on them by trends
Me also!😊
@@Kelly-pp1et To be fair, people are going for the classics and neutrals because of the cost of living pressures. You can always liven up beige with any number of colours but it's a good base. Also navy or blues are good bases. I think next season there will be a lot of taupe and grey.
@@deborahcurtis1385 classics have never been neutral. That is the case after the 90s . Classic doesn’t mean neutral. It’s a distorted view and there’s a reason the neutrals have been imposed globally. People are so blind smh
I so appreciate your channel. You give me great new ways to look at my wardrobe. Thank you 🇨🇦
Fabulous x
Thank for this video and for introducing me to the TedTalk, now I’m trying to determine which day this week I will wear my metallic gold skirt to the grocery store. ☺️
Wonderful!
Never try to blend in. ❤ Ever.
Yay!
I can't! I'm tall! LOL! That used to be painful but I got over that. It can be difficult when others try to keep you down. A frenemy recently looked me up and down and said: "oh you do like to try to keep up with the young ones don't you?"
I was wearing a white shirt with 3/4 puffed sleeves tied at the waist into a knot, a long sunray pleated skirt which was pink, and had a geometric pattern at the front with black, bottle green, white and pale blue going into the pink, and flat black mules with large chain on the front. black hobo Gucci bag (plain). I got the skirt new in a thrift shop. The blouse was also on sale, the shoes I've had many years and got the bag at auction years ago during lockdown.
It actually looked good. She would never try such an outfit and that's not my problem. We owe it to ourselves to live our best lives and not try to hide ourselves to make others feel better. They never will and you just harm yourself.
One thing I do is photograph all of my things in colour graduations, shoes, then bags, belts then summer and winter clothes. That way I get a sense of what's missing that will pull it all together, or what can be altered. I recently got a hugely expensive belt but it really does what I needed and that's worth it.
I practice Fine Friday at work! Every Friday I dress up in a suit, dress or two piece set to celebrate the incoming weekend! I get lots of appreciating looks and smiles from the people around me! I try and dress my best for parties and holidays too! All in respekt to the host/s!
I love this!
i LOVED Molly's ted talk. i am glad you did too.
It really resonated with me and she delivered it with such grace and style 🙏🏼
I think this is definately one of my favourite videos and I think this is very useful and also fun advice ☺️
That's great to hear thanks Daphne x
Leonie, thank you for a brilliant video delivered at just the right time for me. I am a minimalist but not my fantasy minimalist which comprises understated clothes with WOW accessories, for example I love headwear - caps, bucket hats and head-wraps. Headwear is not only for bad hair days, it completes a look. I think that many of us tend to blend in rather than stand out because standing out takes confidence. But I am sure that learning to stand out imbues confidence. I shall definitely review my wardrobe and play dress up when I have spare time. And I shall definitely watch Mollie Kaye's TED talk. Thank you for your time, expert advice and encouragement.
Great video!
Fashion can be so much more than only putting on an outfit every single day, but it can help us so much in beeing confident and feeling good and "seen"... kind of "wellness for our souls". We just have to be concious about what we wear and what feelings our cloths creates in us. Once checked this power of clothing we can get so much benefit and fun out of it!
Absolutely!!
I have a long standing Friday shopping and dinner date with my bestfriend. This year I have made a conscious effort to shop my closet and wear a new outfit every time we go. It really helps me to decide if the outfit will go back in the closet or in the giveaway pile. I realized early on just how many pieces I had bought for my fantasy self but never wore. It also has helped me hone in on my true style.
Great idea 💡
Oh my gosh yes!! I mooned to a rural area and have completely dampened myself down. I think I'll try the Tuesday idea and see how I go!🤞🤣
Great idea! Good luck and have fun x
I've been building my "fantasy self" wardrobe w/ more classic, slow fashion pieces, but still find myself "dressing down" to not stand out in the relaxed/leisure environment of my town. No more! Thanks for your encouraging words ❤
Fabulous!!!!!!
Really liked this video! Good ideas, thanks!
So glad!
Thank you for this video, I’m going to try the 75 Day challenge, I’m an educator, so starting the first day of school, I will try to do this! ❤
Excellent and good luck Leslie 🙌🏼
Ugh. I do have a fantasy wardrobe because I love clothes/fashion. I then translated those looks into my realistic life, which is very active. So far so good:)
Love that!
Such a great video. It really resonated with me! I have a fantasy wardrobe but lack the courage to wear it. I will definitely be part of the 75 hard challenge, and look forward to it changing my life! ❤❤❤
So glad!
Fashion should be fun expression of how u want the world to see u on any given day/mood/vibe
🙏🏼
Best clip yet, thought inducing and so very relevant ❤
Thank you x
This video inspired me to be more creative w my wardrobe and rethink some of my closet items
YAY!
My fantasy pieces are crazy pattern winter scarfs. Other than that I like quiet and simple.
Thanks. You've inspired me a lot.❤
I'm so glad!
During my last vacation trip, I packed extremely light with essentials and what I already have and just went shopping over there, because shopping is bound to happen anyway!😂
Yes it is - esp on vacation 🙊😂
During my career I had to travel on business a lot, and often was stuck somewhere over weekends, too. I always went shopping, it was my favorite thing to do on my free time. One can only eat so many restaurant meals and go see movies. I got so many great items this way and still use a lot of them.🙂
Your videos are always so great....but this has my heart ❤️.
I'm so glad! 🙏🏼
I’m a stylist and do “dare to have flair”. I take selfies to create my own LOOKBOOK so I can repeat successes and discover what doesn’t work. A simple tripod with a remote shutter is invaluable as I can take pictures from all angles (really important from the rear)!
The secret is to have your closet looking like a small boutique. Pretty. Clean. ALL CLOTHES looking new and appelative.
Great idea!
Wow Leonie such an excellent 👌🏽 chefs kiss topic!! As an upcycler ♻️ this topic is CRUCIAL… thank you so much for starting this conversation… ❤️😻😘😘😘🦘🦘🦘🐨🇦🇺
Thanks for the chefs kiss approval! Glad you enjoyed the video!
❤thank you I love this
🫶🏼
Leonie, this is one of your best! Thank you.
Thanks Anne
Loved the three point rule! Never thought of that !!
Yay!
Love the pictures you add to illustrate a point. Just when I think I know what you mean, your pictures take it to the next level. Often find myself stopping to study the pic a bit longer because something really appeals to me. Thanks for the inspiration!
You're very welcome Katrin x
This couldn't have come at a better time! I too have a trip to the USA (from New Zealand) and had started the thought process of what do I need to buy for it. In reality I have a closet full of clothes and shouldn't need to buy any more. This time I'm going to "shop my closet" and create some outfits that are a mix of my business style clothes and what I would wear in more casual settings. I love this type of video much more than "what are the current trends" content that most stylist do, it would be also nice to hear more about how to create an out fit, such as how to style certain items or how to create balance and cohesion in an out fit etc (in case you are thinking of other topics to cover). Thanks for the link to Mollie's Ted talk, that was very inspiring.
Have a great trip!
Well done!! Great ideas and advice for shaking things up a bit!
Yes!!!! Here's to shaking things up a bit!
Every now and again I go through my wardrobe and fix any bits that don’t work or need a small change. They always result in more glam than before and although fashionable I feel unsure about wearing them in my small country town. I don’t like to overdo it but nor do I like looking like everybody who likes to be over ordinary. I am an artist and designer so you can imagine how frustrated I feel. Be bold RH, be bold!!!
Over do it! Why not? I do, and I’m just a geologist who can hardly draw a thing. Styling myself is my creative outlet, I love it. Who says it’s too much, for only you can decide that. If you feel your beautiful best in it, wear it🙂
This Is how I finally created my own style! Mixing fantasy items with everyday clothes. This has been earning me compliments on my outfits for many years... Now I hate blending in 😂
Love it!
Another great video. I’ve recently looked at those fantasy self items in my closet and challenged myself to wear them. One item is a denim jacket I’ve had for years and never worn. I thought it would be a cool item but then felt I was too old for it. I generally wear sun dresses at this time of the year so I’ve been throwing the jacket on over the dresses and it actually looks pretty good. 🙂 now that may not seem very bold to most people, but it was a way for me to get over myself.
That’s great to hear and I bet that denim jacket looks amazing over your sun dresses 🙏🏼
I love colour and dress with colour combinations that are different makes me smile ❤
For me blending in vs standing out is total due to the weight gain . I've always had issues with my weight. I would get a lot of attention and dress to impress when I had my ideal body. I was able to keep my weight for quite a few years. Then half way through covid I just kept going up to the point I'm the heaviest I've ever been . I do know it's a mental battle and I have to commit to losing weight but I'm just not there
You'll know when the time is right to tackle it but I def think it's very important to be kind to yourself no matter what x
I watched the Mollie Kay talk last week and loved it also - this was a great video with ideas Leonie
Glad you enjoyed it!
First I will say I have a LOT of clothes. My issue has always been, now that I've found the best way I like to style this item , why would I re-style to another look? Why would I choose to wear it "okay" when I can wear it "great"? I understand re-styling for a minimalist wardrobe, but for me, if I keep re-styling the same piece, I'll never get to wear all the clothes I have! (I know, first-world problem)
Fair enough x
My challenge is to take pieces I’m not wearing and making them work in my wardrobe. No buying working off a rail and everyday make a new outfit. It’s much harder than just going out and buy something new. My lifestyle is different so I’m trying to find my new fantasy style and spending time in my closet 🦋
Love that!
Great convo very reflective love the vid defo need to look into the ideas and suggestions that you discussed for sure defo need to do some of these things 💯💯💯😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿🫶🏿🫶🏿🫶🏿
Thanks Maxine 🙏🏼
Thank you for this video ❤ i dont know who I am anymore because I buy too much 😞
Oh noooo. Maybe it’s time to start playing with all the clothes you have and making them work for you 👌🏽
I needed to hear this. I’ve definitely fallen into the dressing to blend/hide rather than standout. Thank you!!!
This was a brilliant video, I’ve just recently started to really concider what I buy and what I already have. I’ve sold lots of un worn clothes online and I’m carful what I buy now , I don’t impulse buy now
Thx for sharing Stella 👍🏼
I loved that Ted talk too!! Have fun in the USA! In a way, I admire women that wear "invisiwear" as she called it. It seems humble to me. But, in reality, I'm afraid it's a lack of confidence. For me, wearing the right clothing BOOSTS my confidence!! 😂 I recently said, "if I don't get a compliment on an outfit, I sell it!" That's not good especially since I must have liked it myself. Anyway, it's such a balance we have to achieve.
Thanks for sharing!! and yes I agree it is about balance and I suppose like you said at the end of the day if we love it that should be enough. Sometimes easier said than done though x
I do a version of this for work during the Christmas holiday. From the day after Thanksgiving to New Year’s Eve, I wear dressy and colorful outfits. These are the types outfits you would wear to a Christmas party.
However the challenge I have given myself is to come with a fall outfit. I have long ,sleeveless, Steampunk style, coat dress. I will challenge myself to turn it into a duster jacket with jeans, boats and a white button down shirt. 😊 I will touch base with in the fall and let you know how it works out.
Sounds like a great idea!
Totally believe in dressing as one's fantasy self. One day I might go out in full goth, another in 20s flapper attire, another just in a nicer than average contemporary outfit. Sometimes I get stares, and sometimes people surreptiously take my photo, but at the end of the day, my clothing choices have zero effect on their lives so why should they care & why should I care if they decide to?
Thanks for this video
Most welcome 🙏🏼
Hi Leonie thank you for this vidéo… I just step out of my comfort zone by bleaching my hair blonde (this was a running joke with my boyfriend) but I think I would never have gone this way… but to my surprise, I love my new look and I got so many compliments! This, is just to say, it got me to style my clothes differently and your tips are just great… I’m 62 and feeling fabulous!
Wonderful! I've always been tempted to do the same - maybe now is the time?!
I really want to learn how to layer. I find it so interesting.
Maybe that’s a whole video in itself 🤔
Yes!!!! Mollie! I was so inspired! Let’s bring the lady back! Let’s live our fantastic fantasy lives until it becomes us!
Yes! I have clothes from several continents. I hesitate to wear the custom outfit my Congolese student made for me. The fabric is so Bold! Can we stop the “appropriations” label. I’m inspired by the textiles and design. As a seamstress I appreciate the artistry behind them.
I did a no buy for a year. Through all the seasons. A client inspired me. She brought me things sitting idle to revamp, mend or alter. Most women have a months worth of outfits sitting in their closet. It’s the 80/20 paradox. Refresh, renew, revamp! Thanks for reigniting the fashion sensibility for me! ❤️❣️✨