A lot of abusers dont start abusing until after a big life event, a big move, a new job, a marriage, or a new baby. my ex husband didn't start physically, mentally, and emotionally abusing me until after we had our first baby.
So this girl is now 20 The bullying only stopped four years ago and lasted for 8 years before that... The fact that the older sister felt comfortable enough to go straight to the sister that was bullied and tried to bully her into defending her name choice when the name choice is hurting Her is really awful and selfish. If I was that family I would start distancing myself away from that sister.
41:26 A lot of abusers see a baby as an anchor in a variety of ways. Some believe their wife can't escape them now that there's a baby. Some believe the baby drags them down and strips them of their own freedom. But the shift dynamic will bring out what was always under the surface.
Story one: It's older sister resentment. My sister had that for most of my life against me. Apparently I had everything easier, got to do everything earlier, etc. Now that we are both older, I think we have gotten past it.
Story 6... I have never screamed at my phone in outrage at an AITA story as much as this... That just made me livid for OP 🤬. I am so glad she has a friend with a good head on her shoulders, that is able to help her!!
Omg the daughter one was absolutely disgusting. She traumatized her daughter!!! This screams jealousy of my daughter.. I hope the girl goes no contact in the future…
What you said about ghosts of the past popping back up once life is good is SO spot on. I moved to a PLANE RIDE AWAY from my home town, in large part to get rid of this woman who tried to ruin my life. She divorced her husband, married my brother in law, and is now in my current town. You can’t make this shit up.
Story 1: "Olivia, what a beautiful name. How did your parents choose it?" "Oh, you know, I was named after my aunt's stalker, someone who terrorized her and my mom's family for 8 years." I have a feeling new mom chose the name on purpose as a dig at her younger sister, probably because she got special treatment as a kid. Special treatment I'm sure she would've rather not had. Story 7 needs an update from y'all. I went to Reddit and read her post/edit/comments; I think I can say the ex-wife is an even bigger a-hole than initially presented; without spoiling anything.
*Story 7/ Santa Dad -* OP has offered a lot of reasonable timeshare options for the future + way more grace than was required in the past, and she was laughed at, dismissed, turned down + away. If it was me I’d lay down Candy’s hammer right into the not-so-exes world. NO ONE is going to put up w/that scenario the way OP did. So choicest fiancé. Either do a holiday share like everyone else or me + my baby wont be ppl u need to worry about anymore. Even if he agrees + forced it on his alleged ex, OP will be fighting for her right to her own husband for a very long time. He doesn’t sound worth the time to me.
Story 5: I have never understood this - it’s the daughters hair, she has to take care of it, live with it, it should be up to her what length, cut, color, etc it is. Mom is welcome to grow her hair down to her ass and comb it for an hour a day if she’d like. 😂
Three time i got w buzz cut. When my two older brothers was diagnosed with cancer. The third is when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. But I did it on my own not forced on me. That was a very bad mom to her daughter
The one possible exception with Olivia-although I’m sure it would have been mentioned-is if that had been older sister’s favorite name for years. The name she gave her favorite doll, the name she chose for herself when playing house, etc. If that were the case, one bad apple might not turn her away from it, but since she didn’t say something like “I’ve loved this name since you were in diapers!”, that’s probably not the case.
What is it with the moms taking such a hard stand on their daughter's hair? 🤦🏾♀️ Both Dads are MVPs for giving the moms 💩 and advocating for their daughters. As for the mom that had a problem with the girl cutting her hair, she is 14... if they take it to court the judge will take into account what the daughter wants and, guess what, she will go with dad because he sees her as a person and not an accessory or trophy to show on to others.
The crazy part about story #1 is that if a storm is devastating they literally remove the name from the records due to the trauma the name caused. She did that intentionally
Imagine being bullied for almost half of your small life. From ages 8-16. Then 4 short years later being told to be mature since you’re 20, while your older sister names her BABY the name of your archenemy. What’s the mom going to do when the baby complains? Tell her to grow up? 🙄😂
OP needs to have some counseling to help her get over what happened with Olivia. Baby Olivia doesn’t need to find out about what her name means to everyone.
39:23 she has to leave this guy. He is beyond ascon 1. As a woman that breastfeed and felt that exhaustion deep within me, my heart breaks for her! She has to eat enough for both or it’s all going to go to the baby. Womens teeth get real bad because when they are pregnant and breastfeeding your body will pull calcium out of your bones including teeth if your not taking enough in. It’s automatically going to provide to to baby over you. Dude isn’t worth her time or effort.
I know this has nothing have to do with story, but in my circles, a name currently being one of the most popular baby names - is a negative. That means the kid is going to go to school with 10 other kids with the same name - I've never heard that given as a reason to use a name, only as "it's a beautiful name, but it's been the most popular baby name for 3 years so I'm not going to use it" 🤷♀
Lillys hair Lilly choice the mom keeps it up and she won't have a daughter she's 14 plenty old enough for dad to go the court and her pick to stay with dad full time
1: OP definitely NTA, but sister knew what she was doing, otherwise everyone most likely would have already known the name PRIOR to being born. Normally 1 or two family members know ahead of time...she kept it to herself intentionally. 4: how could he do SO MUCH lying? Like. What? How on earth dooes one lie that much? I want another uodate, Amy, i need Amy to post one of these...lol The last story was needed cuz man. Those all sucked 😂
I would give my last breath to give my child just one more... how can parents take from their child because they don't have it themselves?! You miss your hair so how dare your child still have it?? Do more with her hair! Get a wig! How dare she manipulate her child like that...
The story about the fourteen-year-old that wanted her haircut I understand her my parents were divorced and my dad did not want my hair it was long thick and I hated it at 14 my mom let me cut my hair
*Story 6: New Mom/ Food Abuse -* OP’s family’s reaction + OP so easily caving to it, sounds cultural. Maybe India or China/Asian, where a female baby’s value is much less than as a male [OP said her husband _seemed_ happy about it being a baby girl]. It would “explain” his extreme behavior postpartum, attacking her over nonsense, both families’’ blessing to do so, like it’s some kind of failure or disappointment that he’s sanctioned to punish her for. *U know… some backwards aśš šhît.* She’ll hv to leave him or maybe fingers crossed, he’ll leave her first. ⏰
I think attaching trauma to a name is BS. I was grapes as a child by a Larry but I don’t hold all Larry’s to that same trauma. It’s weird to me that this family makes it a name. Maybe they should move as well I mean same town as the trauma
I cannot stand anyone with the name Carmen. I was bullied all of Jr. high by a girl with this name. My ex-husband cheated on me with a girl named Carmen. He would come home and tell me in detail what he did to her and how much better it was. He would beat me while saying he wished I was Carmen. He would torment me by telling me he was going to get full custody of our baby and make sure our baby knew that Carmen was their mother and not me. He would allow her to call me and torment me as well. After all of that, anyone named Carmen I have met has been a horrible person. So yes, after the 8th person named Carmen turned out to be a horrible person, trauma is attached to a this name for me, and it is not BS. I am sure there are some amazing people named Carmen but it has been proven to be given to disgusting people over and over in my life.
@@shadowkissed2370 but that’s a person not a name, I think it’s wrong to judge someone based off of someone else’s behavior. I am sure your name has had a lot of people traumatized but you didn’t do it. I hope this family gets help and you as well, I am sorry bad things happened to you but again it’s kinda along the same line as hating all women because of one or hating someone based on the color of their skin.
@@jamieleigh3481 That was 8+ people so far, actually. Also, you are reaching a little far by trying to compare it to misogyny, bigotry, and racism. There is no sweat off my back if someone hates my name or hates me because of it. That is their trauma; the issue will arise if they are ignorant or nasty because of it when the person with the name has done nothing to them. I may dislike someone due to their name, but if they have the name and show me they are not that type of person, we can go from there. The name is associated with the trauma. This can happen with anything-a sight, a smell, a place, or a name. For example, I can't stand the smell of vanilla and the Ralph Lauren cologne Polo because every time my mother's boyfriend graped and SA me, starting at a very young age until I was 13, he would have that colonge on and he would smoke a vanilla cigar after. Those two smells will literally make me vomit and shake, especially if they are around in combination. That is the issue with the AITA story, and that is why they had an issue with the baby being named that.
I think the real issue is intentionally picking a name associated with trauma.of course there are lots of people with the name, name were chosen by complete because its pretty. Her own sister chose a name with a painful history. Not at all the same thing.
It’s one thing to judge a person because they have a particular name. I say this as someone whose name happens to be Karen. I was once majorly screwed over by someone named Leah, but if I meet someone else with that name, I am not going to automatically assume they are a bad person. On the other hand, if you have a close relative who has a severe traumatic experience that was caused by someone with a certain name, and you decide “oh, hey, I decided that’s what I wanna name my kid!”, Don’t be surprised if you get a negative reaction!
A lot of abusers dont start abusing until after a big life event, a big move, a new job, a marriage, or a new baby. my ex husband didn't start physically, mentally, and emotionally abusing me until after we had our first baby.
So this girl is now 20 The bullying only stopped four years ago and lasted for 8 years before that... The fact that the older sister felt comfortable enough to go straight to the sister that was bullied and tried to bully her into defending her name choice when the name choice is hurting Her is really awful and selfish.
If I was that family I would start distancing myself away from that sister.
41:26 A lot of abusers see a baby as an anchor in a variety of ways. Some believe their wife can't escape them now that there's a baby. Some believe the baby drags them down and strips them of their own freedom. But the shift dynamic will bring out what was always under the surface.
Story one: It's older sister resentment. My sister had that for most of my life against me. Apparently I had everything easier, got to do everything earlier, etc. Now that we are both older, I think we have gotten past it.
It's so crazy to think she was like, "why wasn't I stalked😢"
Story 6... I have never screamed at my phone in outrage at an AITA story as much as this... That just made me livid for OP 🤬. I am so glad she has a friend with a good head on her shoulders, that is able to help her!!
Omg the daughter one was absolutely disgusting. She traumatized her daughter!!! This screams jealousy of my daughter.. I hope the girl goes no contact in the future…
What you said about ghosts of the past popping back up once life is good is SO spot on. I moved to a PLANE RIDE AWAY from my home town, in large part to get rid of this woman who tried to ruin my life. She divorced her husband, married my brother in law, and is now in my current town. You can’t make this shit up.
Time to move to a different planet. Jeezus. 😒
Story 1: "Olivia, what a beautiful name. How did your parents choose it?" "Oh, you know, I was named after my aunt's stalker, someone who terrorized her and my mom's family for 8 years." I have a feeling new mom chose the name on purpose as a dig at her younger sister, probably because she got special treatment as a kid. Special treatment I'm sure she would've rather not had.
Story 7 needs an update from y'all. I went to Reddit and read her post/edit/comments; I think I can say the ex-wife is an even bigger a-hole than initially presented; without spoiling anything.
*Story 7/ Santa Dad -* OP has offered a lot of reasonable timeshare options for the future + way more grace than was required in the past, and she was laughed at, dismissed, turned down + away.
If it was me I’d lay down Candy’s hammer right into the not-so-exes world. NO ONE is going to put up w/that scenario the way OP did. So choicest fiancé. Either do a holiday share like everyone else or me + my baby wont be ppl u need to worry about anymore. Even if he agrees + forced it on his alleged ex, OP will be fighting for her right to her own husband for a very long time. He doesn’t sound worth the time to me.
Story 5: I have never understood this - it’s the daughters hair, she has to take care of it, live with it, it should be up to her what length, cut, color, etc it is. Mom is welcome to grow her hair down to her ass and comb it for an hour a day if she’d like. 😂
Three time i got w buzz cut. When my two older brothers was diagnosed with cancer. The third is when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. But I did it on my own not forced on me. That was a very bad mom to her daughter
I'd buy the heck out of dusty thunder astronaut Lego set!
Not only made her cut her hair but to make it a buzz cut. That's traumatic
I love the lego couple!!!
Story 7 : I definitely think they are having sex while OP is away at her family’s house
The one possible exception with Olivia-although I’m sure it would have been mentioned-is if that had been older sister’s favorite name for years. The name she gave her favorite doll, the name she chose for herself when playing house, etc. If that were the case, one bad apple might not turn her away from it, but since she didn’t say something like “I’ve loved this name since you were in diapers!”, that’s probably not the case.
What is it with the moms taking such a hard stand on their daughter's hair? 🤦🏾♀️ Both Dads are MVPs for giving the moms 💩 and advocating for their daughters.
As for the mom that had a problem with the girl cutting her hair, she is 14... if they take it to court the judge will take into account what the daughter wants and, guess what, she will go with dad because he sees her as a person and not an accessory or trophy to show on to others.
The crazy part about story #1 is that if a storm is devastating they literally remove the name from the records due to the trauma the name caused. She did that intentionally
Imagine being bullied for almost half of your small life. From ages 8-16. Then 4 short years later being told to be mature since you’re 20, while your older sister names her BABY the name of your archenemy. What’s the mom going to do when the baby complains? Tell her to grow up? 🙄😂
I love the lights.
Story 6. This is flat out abuse. Run far run fast.
OP needs to have some counseling to help her get over what happened with Olivia. Baby Olivia doesn’t need to find out about what her name means to everyone.
39:23 she has to leave this guy. He is beyond ascon 1. As a woman that breastfeed and felt that exhaustion deep within me, my heart breaks for her! She has to eat enough for both or it’s all going to go to the baby. Womens teeth get real bad because when they are pregnant and breastfeeding your body will pull calcium out of your bones including teeth if your not taking enough in. It’s automatically going to provide to to baby over you. Dude isn’t worth her time or effort.
I know this has nothing have to do with story, but in my circles, a name currently being one of the most popular baby names - is a negative. That means the kid is going to go to school with 10 other kids with the same name - I've never heard that given as a reason to use a name, only as "it's a beautiful name, but it's been the most popular baby name for 3 years so I'm not going to use it" 🤷♀
The last story 🥰🥰🥰
Really abusive! Does dad have to do it too? What happens when Anna’s hair regrows? It will regrow quicker than her mums. Cut again? Ridiculous!
Lillys hair Lilly choice the mom keeps it up and she won't have a daughter she's 14 plenty old enough for dad to go the court and her pick to stay with dad full time
1: OP definitely NTA, but sister knew what she was doing, otherwise everyone most likely would have already known the name PRIOR to being born. Normally 1 or two family members know ahead of time...she kept it to herself intentionally.
4: how could he do SO MUCH lying? Like. What? How on earth dooes one lie that much? I want another uodate, Amy, i need Amy to post one of these...lol
The last story was needed cuz man. Those all sucked 😂
I would give my last breath to give my child just one more... how can parents take from their child because they don't have it themselves?! You miss your hair so how dare your child still have it?? Do more with her hair! Get a wig! How dare she manipulate her child like that...
3rd story..SMH…
The story about the fourteen-year-old that wanted her haircut I understand her my parents were divorced and my dad did not want my hair it was long thick and I hated it at 14 my mom let me cut my hair
No offense maybe she just liked the name the family ta
🖤🤎💜
Wtf…
Your assumption that OP will carry the baby to term in Story 7 is interesting, and ever so slightly disappointing.
*Story 6: New Mom/ Food Abuse -* OP’s family’s reaction + OP so easily caving to it, sounds cultural. Maybe India or China/Asian, where a female baby’s value is much less than as a male [OP said her husband _seemed_ happy about it being a baby girl].
It would “explain” his extreme behavior postpartum, attacking her over nonsense, both families’’ blessing to do so, like it’s some kind of failure or disappointment that he’s sanctioned to punish her for. *U know… some backwards aśš šhît.* She’ll hv to leave him or maybe fingers crossed, he’ll leave her first. ⏰
I think attaching trauma to a name is BS. I was grapes as a child by a Larry but I don’t hold all Larry’s to that same trauma. It’s weird to me that this family makes it a name. Maybe they should move as well I mean same town as the trauma
I cannot stand anyone with the name Carmen. I was bullied all of Jr. high by a girl with this name. My ex-husband cheated on me with a girl named Carmen. He would come home and tell me in detail what he did to her and how much better it was. He would beat me while saying he wished I was Carmen. He would torment me by telling me he was going to get full custody of our baby and make sure our baby knew that Carmen was their mother and not me. He would allow her to call me and torment me as well.
After all of that, anyone named Carmen I have met has been a horrible person. So yes, after the 8th person named Carmen turned out to be a horrible person, trauma is attached to a this name for me, and it is not BS. I am sure there are some amazing people named Carmen but it has been proven to be given to disgusting people over and over in my life.
@@shadowkissed2370 but that’s a person not a name, I think it’s wrong to judge someone based off of someone else’s behavior. I am sure your name has had a lot of people traumatized but you didn’t do it. I hope this family gets help and you as well, I am sorry bad things happened to you but again it’s kinda along the same line as hating all women because of one or hating someone based on the color of their skin.
@@jamieleigh3481 That was 8+ people so far, actually. Also, you are reaching a little far by trying to compare it to misogyny, bigotry, and racism.
There is no sweat off my back if someone hates my name or hates me because of it. That is their trauma; the issue will arise if they are ignorant or nasty because of it when the person with the name has done nothing to them.
I may dislike someone due to their name, but if they have the name and show me they are not that type of person, we can go from there.
The name is associated with the trauma. This can happen with anything-a sight, a smell, a place, or a name. For example, I can't stand the smell of vanilla and the Ralph Lauren cologne Polo because every time my mother's boyfriend graped and SA me, starting at a very young age until I was 13, he would have that colonge on and he would smoke a vanilla cigar after. Those two smells will literally make me vomit and shake, especially if they are around in combination.
That is the issue with the AITA story, and that is why they had an issue with the baby being named that.
I think the real issue is intentionally picking a name associated with trauma.of course there are lots of people with the name, name were chosen by complete because its pretty. Her own sister chose a name with a painful history. Not at all the same thing.
It’s one thing to judge a person because they have a particular name. I say this as someone whose name happens to be Karen. I was once majorly screwed over by someone named Leah, but if I meet someone else with that name, I am not going to automatically assume they are a bad person. On the other hand, if you have a close relative who has a severe traumatic experience that was caused by someone with a certain name, and you decide “oh, hey, I decided that’s what I wanna name my kid!”, Don’t be surprised if you get a negative reaction!