Gaslighting Phrases Narcissists Love To Use
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- Опубліковано 20 тра 2024
- Gaslighting Phrases Narcissists Love To Use. Discover 21 common phrases and 10 techniques used by narcissists and toxic abusers in this eye-opening video. Stay tuned till the end to learn about the rare technique number 10 that will leave you speechless!
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I teach the four pillars of the Authentic Self Cycle: Truth, Responsibility, Healing, and Forgiveness.
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#gaslighting #worstdaycycle #narcissist
The sad thing is, they know exactly what they are doing. They come and destroy your life and they go on with life like everything is great.
I'm glad someone else understands these tactics.
Cuz they're insane they're mentally ill and as far as I'm concerned I promise you in my opinion we're talking about a Criminal Mind
These decision makers of our future have seriously failed us much like the people were talking about here on a personal level we got a whole damn government full of these cowards cuz they are cowards when they're up against a woman you can't believe them when they're up against a man how these cowards run off like cowards
And Me Too
Yes they 100% do.
This is him exactly, its almost as if he has alters, as he goes through many different personalities throughout the day.
"I would never do that" means they did it. "I don't remember that" means that YOU weren't supposed to remember it. "That never happened" is always a lie.
I'm glad others realize this too.
Wow just happened to me _ I wouldn't do that.
Yep I got one thing to say to that husband who said that he took me home after a honeymoon and told me you have health insurance you can get a psychiatrist now I was like I thought you didn't believe in Psychiatry everything that we I thought we're on the same page with absolutely not this man had an intention something that he revealed in something he learned from his Wicked dad how to drive a woman crazy oh my God this man worked me daily from the time he took me from that honeymoon you can get a psychiatrist now why in the hell would I need a psychiatrist why would he bring that up after he took me home honeymoon I'll tell you why this man was bent how to hook it up with women he could slowly Drive crazy he was insane beware of anyone who starts talking about your health Mental Health that man is so low as far as intelligence and he's going to tell me I need a a psychiatrist when while in church Psychiatry was anti-god how interesting he was a fakest most deceiving so-called Christian really he was a criminal go as far as to use God to control the weaker cuz he was a total Wicked predator on a specific type of woman he was a criminal minded man like it or not it's the truth
I asked this man if he has sex with my girlfriend or not he could not say yes or no that was a real mind Bender they're born to torment
"That never happened" worked so well for the narc that, when it never happened, I would say it. It's not always a lie.
My narc would always say those 3 little words that I love to hear "I don't remember "
Oh yeah...
Yup, mine does the same
Same!!!! I hate this phrase. I'm so glad I'm no longer in this toxic relationship.
@@ggggglistthankfully you got out. So many times in these narcissistic discussion channels there’s a large amount of “he lied, cheated, denied, screamed in my face, gaslit, financially abused, threatened, abused our dog…….. I stayed for 32 years……”
You are right about the negativity being constant and repetitive from them. Recognize it folks and get out! It will never change and that is sad but save yourself.
“You’re overthinking it” was what he would repeatedly say because he didn’t like my insight or assessment of his behaviour.
❤❤
This same situation is with me 😢
Me too -omg!
Almost choked to death buy a husband although it look like somebody hung me from a tree somewhere the lines around my neck I had to wear a turtleneck and I protected this evil ass liar, 230 lb mean angry man perverted everything I didn't happen why I walk around with like I said look like somebody put a rope around my neck three or four times let me tell you something living with the insane will destroy your personality I have no other way to describe this man but insane feed me s h i t h e fed me he knew who to p r e y on I'm not from here and it was in a church what is this man approached me started his manipulative lies in which God Almighty seriously hates I hope this man got right with God before he died working on destroying someone else's life that's God's stuff that's not no human being give a heavy stuff that Vengeance to God and make a way of escaping somebody like this because I promise you you're doomed
It was so unladylike so on feminine to be told that I was an angry woman when what it was the man would torment me until I would like oh maybe say the word f u c k one time and he said I should have known you didn't change my God what the hell kind of talk is that what the hell does that mean it took 30 years to realize what that meant they went to their grave that would be the worst I want you to realize the truth and how you been snowballed and tricked as far as I'm concerned tricked by somebody that was jealous and pretty much hated me to begin with I would have never guessed that they're so tricky everyone needs to know male female kids the tricks of their enemies everybody's got an enemy his name is Satan and he is full of tricks know the tricks of your adversary. People yeah it would be the tricks that evil people use
I think we choose narcissistic or abusive people because somehow we believe we can manage/control situations we couldn't in the past. Children know something is wrong and feel helpless. When we grow up we mistakenly believe we can face the same situations and control or manage them. So, we tend to look for those familiar situations to succeed and heal. Some sort of unfinished business.
It's familiarity...
Yes! I also think the love bombing makes us believe we are entering a relationship with someone who appreciates and loves us. Three months later cracks begin to show. Six months later we are led to believe if we just stop ( fill in the blank) then things will be like they used to be. A year later, you wonder how you even wound up in this situation and if you are not careful they have also impacted your other relationships negatively and you don’t have many other people around you to lean on. Five years later, and you don’t even recognize yourself because all of your good qualities have been replaced with fear, doubt, and instability. You begin to doubt everything you did and every decision you ever made.
This unfortunately 😔 makes a lot of sense subconsciously. 👌🏻
My husband tells me I need professional help every single time we have an argument. After 34 years of marriage to a narcissist, I’m totally exhausted. And I feel like a prisoner. I have no means of my own to get out and I feel like it’s too late. I was my fathers caretaker and then my mothers and wasn’t able to work for years and have no job skills or confidence. I think sometimes that I can’t wait for it to all be over with.
Talk to some good friends you can trust. Professionals with ideas.
You can always do something. Caregiving, you are trained on the job.
No it’s not fun to start over. I did at 52 and had back problems.
I’m glad at almost 77 that I did. I’m not rich by no means but I do have peace.
Talk to ministers if you keep trying you’ll get out of there.
If you need to get a lawyer who works for free or small payments.❤️🕊️🙏
Even people who are neighbors, at the grocery store you shop at. Reach out, but don’t tell your husband what you are doing. If you can’t trust someone don’t bother with them.
Praying for you.
You’re not alone no matter how much you may feel you’re alone.
I am where you are. A prisoner in my own mind. Just know I heard you.
💯 this is a lot like my story & I have zero friends for emotional support of any kind.
I have felt like this too. Thank God, I remembered how I got through my 1st divorce. We need to start getting out of our houses. Get a hobby. Or go to some kind of free class or group setting. So that we can meet people. But, mostly we are getting out of the programming. Focus on something that makes us happy. And rediscover ourselves. I am not looking for a relationship with anyone else. I need to reconnect with me. Letting the natural process take my focus. It saved me once. I am arranging the path now. Hopefully, by the end of this summer. I will be 700 miles away. Living my best life. For the 1st time in a long time.
Don't give up. It is never ever too late to break free. You are just so worn out. But if you really want to be free you will do it. It takes time to plan so take your time. But life can be better than it is for you at the moment. You only need 1 good friend to help you through this. It is never ever too late.
Getting ahead of the situation is exactly what I do with my narcissistic daughter. By being no contact with her now, I see just how sick I’ve been. Always over-explaining everything beforehand and hoping she won’t either judge me, or have a better idea for me. It just didn’t feel like I was in charge of my own life. Thank-you so much, you’ve given me valuable information that will help me understand myself better and heal.😊
I was a carcass. One year out and I feel 99% healed. 💪💪💪💪
Well they can't literally kill you they'll they'll be sure to make your ass so miserable and one thing I found is they love to play that card there's something wrong with you I have health insurance go see a psychiatrist old man talks like that I promise you he is so evil to the bone that keep hanging with him and you'll find out just how evil this person really was from day one it's a mind blower but learn from my experience these people do not change they get worse and then when they don't want you no more because you're all screwed up from their treatment their torment they're controlling with fear interior that's all they know how to do it's like this government they control us with fear and Terror and there's nothing but bold face lying trash well they squander the taxpayers money on total 100% stupidity but I really call it just literally mentally ill and insane black knowledge and everything everything especially the way the country was supposed to be run and how the forefathers covered and thought about every evil thing that every evil person would try and they've done it they've done everything that the forefathers mention hundreds of years ago that they knew the mind of criminals and what they could do if it wasn't covered under the Constitution yes these writers of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights knew the mind knew the minds of manipulative
Yes the intelligence that wrote the Constitution the bill they covered and they knew 1006 years ago the Criminal Mind of a man manipulate twist and used to their advantage if it wasn't written right by not considering every foolish movement a****** idiot could make
Good for you 💯 🙌 I’m working on mine
When you grow up with a raging narcissist that yells all the time~you will always run things by them first almost subconsciously because your mind has been conditioned to think " If I don't tell them and just go forward and they find out the rage will be twice as worst. And I believe its because we desperately want that negative persons approval and acceptance. I once told my Narcissist mother I was thinking about making an appointment get my teeth cleaned at the dentist. Her response was all negative " Why are you going to do that ? Do you know how expensive that is? You don't need to do that" and on and on ~ I ended up going 4 years without doing it and it caused quite a bit of gum recession and bone loss. We all pay a high price with these damaged people.
Being married to a Covert Narc my story is just like yours. Identical. Except that the rage, instead of yelling, the NARC goes silent and pretends you are not visible. She could do that for hours or days or weeks or months or, yes, truth be told, years. When I had something she desperately wanted, after years, she came back and talked as if no time had gone by at all. NARCs are human on the outside but demon possessed on the inside.
Wow! It is like you are reporting the exact words and actions of the same evil, cruel and abusive narcissists and flying monkeys who have made my life a living hell for so many years. You describe your feelings and reactions using the exact same words that I have used. I could feel your throat and chest tighten, your hands begin to shake, the pain in your heart and your tears stinging your eyes. My first though was "Oh my gosh! He gets it! He is telling my story! Finally! Someone gets it!! Thank God!" My beloved sister and one of my brothers have been manipulated into becoming flying monkeys. They have both smirked at me contemptuously and sneered "It's all over! You need to just, GET OVER IT!!!" They said it about an hour apart from each other, using the same inflections, wording, body language, contemptuous sneers and condescending attitude. I think they have been taking lessons from their beloved demonic goddess. Their blank eyes made my skin crawl. This is one of your first videos I have seen. It totally blew me away and is one of the best I have ever seen. God bless you for using your PTSD from narcissistic abuse to help others who have been traumatized by these heart!ess creatures. I am eagerly looking forward to exploring more of your excellent presentations. Thank you so much. 😊
They certainly do ENJOY HURTING YOU and will NOT STOP. 😭😭😭😭😭NO MATTER WHAT 😭
Exactly 👍
It stops when you finally, cut off all contact go grey rocking and then have no more power or control and they move on to next victims
@@user-km4ul2ry4d Amen You're so right
My ex told me I was crazy all the time & my comeback was.. I guess so… I chose you didn’t I?? 😂😂😂
I’m going to use this, thanks
Love your reply!
😂😂😂
I’m so thankful that my God gave your information to me, when I was sitting and thinking of what and why my husband was treating me so badly and I stumbled on you and so other people talking about my situation and you all described my situation to a tee 😢all I could do was cry 😢 I know that I’m a good person but my narcissistic husband tried to make me fill like crap 💩 and the gaslighting, lies and stealing was a shock to me, looking back in my life I watched one of my brothers doing the same thing and of course my stepfather was the biggest narcissist and I learned to deal with all of his crap 💩 then my sister was a show boater always wanting the limelight me me me and because I wasn’t looking for the limelight I was often abused but now at 79 years old I have taken back my life and power. And again thank you 🙏🏼 all for the information now I can manage my life better ❤❤🙏🏼🙏🏼
Once I realized what I was up against, I started planning. I still made an effort to fix us but I also planned my escape. Patiently, it unfolded. And he was shocked.
"He always blames other people for everything"... Gaslighting and refusing to take responsibility for their own actions.
What’s kind of sad, or brilliant, I don’t know…I’ve learned the narc’s gaslighting techniques and use them against him. And currently using them against another operator at my job who is using the ‘Isolate victim from the group’ method.
What this troll doesn’t know is that I have built cred over the years with my boss’s boss and other key players. And I have also learned gaslighting techniques to use against the POS who is trying to get my boss to fire me.
This should be fun!
Can you do a video on The Mental Health Trap please. Where they hurt us so much we end up in therapy or with a psychiatrist for depression anxiety. Then the narcissist tells us we are psychiatric and they have proof as we are actually attending a therapist or psychiatrist! Worse is when they smear our character telling others we are psychiatric as we are seeing a therapist or psychiatrist. This happened me. They cause the mental illness and then use it to smear our characters. It's so sinister.
I think it happens with most victims. According to the toxic people in my life, I must be the problem because 'I'm the only one who's in therapy'. 🙄
You’re so right I’m with you. I understand you it’s going on with me now
Yeah. Me too! Horrible impossible situation to be in!. 😢
Yep, I heard them all repeatedly from my mom and 1st husband! Still healing!
Why do they steal gamble and drink so much alcohol?
I’m working on codependency, setting boundaries, and believing in myself. My priority is being mindful and living in the moment.
Heard this all as a kid
Omg you hit the nail on the head Kenny! My mom says the most poisonous things to me , always criticising and shaming me but will use a low soft voice and tilt her head and look at me as she speaks . Such horrible words and l can see she’s taking in and feeding off my pain.
The number 10 is what hits me
You have the Best examples of Narcissistic phrases and how they act. I put up with it for almost 30 years being called crazy, waste of skin and called B$&@ daily. I stayed because a seriously ill daughter and stayed at the hospital always. I couldn’t work but, still tried because I was told I did nothing. He said all these things front of my Children. He finally left me and my disabled daughter but, left with my son and because I had very little money took my son and so my son has nothing to do with me but, now from what I hear has very little to do with him. The sad thing is my daughter meets him and does what he says because I know she doesn’t want to make him mad 😞I just pray 🙏 about everything!
My ex used to say, “Take a joke or be one!”
"It was just a conversation" .. and then has a tantrum about how judgemental i was being. ...
“Why do you overthink?”, often says my narcissistic mother. “Learn to keep quiet, I can effectively run things around me so well because of my choice of words,” says my narcissist sister. “Learn to keep quiet like your husband,” my sister often adds.
Number 10 is excellent. It is probably most of us listening. Its definitely my story all the way. Thanks Kenny.
In a very real sense narcissists are your best friends. The only way words can hurt you is if you find them emotionally painful. Whether or not you find them emotionally painful is up to you, not up to anyone else. Thus, the narcissists help you root out and neutralize all the words and phrases that you have decided are emotionally painful to you, so that you can change your mind about them.
I have gone through this process. Now, when someone says something I find the least bit irritating, I mentally get down on my knees and say, "Thank you, thank you, thank you for reminding me that my happiness does not come from what anyone thinks of me." The people I have to watchout for now are the ones that tell me how great I am. They make me start thinking that my happiness can come from what someone else thinks about me.
My folks hit every single one of these. Wasband too. They are all gone. Never again.
Good for you.. I moved on too
I have too
my father used to call me a small shitter and an idiot. Each time I tried to express myfelt in saying I did not like it, he / or my mother/ would say they had been joking and that I had no sense of humor,
My will to live is a snuffed out flame. There's no way that I'll ever be the same.
My Ex Narc accused me of being a narcissist. I’m sure he didn’t know what that means (probably got it from the woman he was having sex with while we were still married). I said, “Are you diagnosing me with your high school education (he was 63 at the time)?” He never said that again.
I love your comeback🤣🤣😂😂
My ex narc husband said to me 'i love you but I am not in love with you'! I know he heard that from some other womann too who he was telling his sob story too. He was a boring academic so he would never come up with that cliché by himself! I just burst out laughing at him as it was so pathetic.
Yep, they get everything they say from someone else.
Yep, I went back to school, got GEd, then went to college, got several certifications Inc in cardiac diagnostics. He always says, he got a REAL, high school diploma. I told him Spencer, did too (Spencer is my friend son that has downs syndrome) special needs.
Yes that comeback was everything😅😅😂😂
Thank you for these videos! I have found out what the nightmare I’ve been living for 40 years really is … “. it isn’t me “!!! Thank you🙏
You are so welcome
Gaslighting it so much harder when it is your own child doing this. Thank you for going deeper than the usual generic advice. You are articulate, compassionate and intelligent - thanks again, Kenny!
I am aware that my childhood gave rise to me getting in this relationship. I’m not resentful because I realize I am responsible for my self care. During the sit to feel my feelings, and where in my body those feelings affect. As you know it’s a process.
I’m so glad I listened to this to remind me what I have been processing, using techniques, and doing the work.
'You're twisting it around' and 'that's just how I deal with it'
Thanks for the video Kenny!
I'm almost done telling stories about dear ol' mom, but there's still a little venom left. However, I've made my peace with what was and wasn't. There's no nuturing mother out there for me, but, I can be nurturing and patient towards myself.
My late narcissistic mother demanded control even after she passed away at age 89, through her will on who would get how much of the inheritance. Her last phone message to me was strange, she wanted me to know how much she loved all three of her children. The problem was, my two half-siblings are of no relation to my dad. Now probate is a nightmare for all of us.
But you're exactly correct. No matter what happens, all of us can be nurturing and patient towards ourselves. We have control over that.
Peace.
Yeah I heard “you’re not perfect” when I was calling the Narc out on his behavior towards my Stepson and I. I got one for you. “It was not that serious” after the Narc discarded me and abandoned his son
"Oh yeah? Well you're as bad as me!"
Heard every one of those.
Such good advice.. it makes me reflect and realize i couldnt win.. unless i left... then i was free!
i didnt choose my narc. shes my older sister
Oh my, that also describes my sister. Thank you for that reminder. It’s sad when I discover this personality about family and loved ones. I’m getting through the grief. The whole radical acceptance is a process. Rinse and repeat day to day.
Here’s one to top off “ Your Crazy “ from past statements. The advanced version “ you’re getting worse. “ He knows I’m in therapy and groups. So now that I’m learning boundaries. His perception is that I have to be in control. Or I just want to be difficult. Oh my, I pray, meditate or anything to be in the moment.
Love the colour of your suit kenny
Thanks got them your messages.truth hurts. It will bouncback to them.😅
I got suspicious of a man in a past relationship when he said that his ex inlaws felt his inlaws knew his ex wife didn't know how to love him and told him that and that his ex girlfriend's parents said their daughter didn't know how to love, making him out to be the guy who was wronged
There are a few exceptions, like someone who normally takes psychiatric meds and is out of touch with reality off them. This is actually distorted or delusional.
Having seen people off bipolar meds or antipsychotics, gave me an entirely new perspective.
Should I have said they were insane? Probably not. Were they actually insane? Yes.
The effect is so spot on. My wanttobe now associate has asked me more than once to get married to him, he wants to move in a fast pace.
I have slowly disengage from him bc he certainly made a lot of promises to be that peace, financially, emotionally and says he wants to provide but it has not happened.
When I tested him to see if he would keep his words… he fumbled.
Yet he refuse to accept ownership & accountability for his words. He then turned it around as me being materialistic. SMH! 😅
I said more than once do not promise anything if you do not have true intentions behind your offerings.
It is a way to control, have my interest, attention and gain benefits for his selfish gain.
“ you are remembering wrong “
“ that did not happen in my house “
“ its best we dont have contact anymore “
You need to gain the skills to cope with my behaviours you want me to stop “
Its just.. iam just... look out for that, too.
When my gf. X gf went to jail for flipping out like a complete Maniac breaking doors in my house, pulling a butcher knife out of the drawer threatening me with it. And then when the cops got her. She attacked them and tried to disarm one of em. She's lovely. She says. " i don't remember any of that. " she is a Habitual liar. But it's ok. My cell cam. My ring cam and the police body cams may perhaps help refresh her memory
I’ve heard all 19 phrases. After everything I have done for you didn’t happen. He doesn’t do anything unless he has something to gain. He’s paraphrased that sentence.
My husband now mirrors words and how I react to his narcissism. My husband has said every one of these.
That's a lot of information. I recognize a lot of it, in just ways that were subtly different. Eleven years out for me. And this shit starts making me panic listening to it. Good information.
The double bind doesn't have to destroy you. ~ I've studied the Readings of Edgar Cayce for a long time and I can tell you, all you have to do is either sit back and let the narcissist dig there own karmic grave, or just know within yourself that THERE IS A SPIRITUAL FORCE TO LIFE, and the narcissist is going to have to meet there karma ~ NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO !!!!!!!!!!!
You’ve outlined my entire life in 40 minutes… one question, would a toxic person be watching this & comparing themselves to what you’re describing or is the fact that I’ve experienced these things & am asking questions indicate that I am NOT the narcissist??
As a general rule, truly toxic individuals have no interest in self-reflection.
I heard if you have to ask if you are a narcissist then you are not a narcissist.
Absolutely everything you are saying. In marriage counseling i would cry and get frustrated cause his distortion of facts was questioning my reality. In a private session the Counselor saw it all and even explained the S.O.B Game he sees in every event discussed. Later him being diagnosed Narcissist well..we are divorced. But now Adult Children and Grandkids the story never stopped.....watching the rest of this video its great. I will get your book and yes i thought of doing a website or something like and I want to write a book. I am still resentful but its because ive lost everything now even my inheritance do to the lies, deceptions etc. Im living in my car now 63 yrs old with my dog. My Due Process rights violated, identity theft. Its been a never ending story. There is nothing left.
When individuals were telling me my limits w/ out letting me figure things for myself. Now that I’m not as young as I used to be 🙂I’m Well aware of my limits today. Thnx much👍🏼
When he said , he was going to shot me, and said it was a joke. But it was 4 days after he told me to leave. We were married and I was living in his house. I was scared
After my narcissistic mother said EVERY single one of the accusatory statements, and then further berated me, she would then add, “But I love you just the way you are,” as I was crying.
NOTE: I do tell stories. Pretty good ones actually. Storytelling and having a voice is a healing experience.
Thank you Kenny❤
My husband has said all of these at one time or another if I confront him about anything . Those are his normal replies .Yes to every thing you have said. I feel like he is not human and from outer space.
We have soooooo many more distraction methods and techniques...........
What are those?
How about "I never said that" or "But that was 7 years ago" or whenever.
"Isn't it a great day out?" HILARIOUS , Kenny!!! My brother used to do that to me, and I NEVER realized what the he'll that was until you used it as an example. But it confounded me at the time.
As far as your class, what about 70? 😅
Thank you
Kenny
I posted your video on my Facebook
If you still hold smear campaigns of anyone in your past you need to let the venon go
Learn more about codependency and how this put you in a difficult disempowered destructive relationship like the worst day cycle
Acknowledge
the problem of the cycle in order to understand how to learn about the recovery process
You deserve this
Enjoy the journey today & everyday
@@Gigiyoungerme I was only thanking Kenny for explaining something that I experienced. I hope you're not assuming otherwise because the comment was to Kenny, not you.
Good video Kenny are psychologist?
I had a nine month roller coaster relationship with my narcissist girlfriend. I knew all the terms that describe a narcissist were happening but I just didn’t know what it was I wasn’t familiar with this disorder
The two that I got often from my narcissist girlfriend was “you’re just too perfect”
and “ I think you need professional help “
💜 your suit
Kenny,you're an artist!
18:35 i didn't know any of this and I can definitely associate myself in your explanation. Knowing this info, for me at least, is eye opening. Thank you
Thank you!!
You are such an expert in communication. The tone of your voice, the speed (not too fast, not too slow) and everything is therapeutic. Very professional. Thank you so much for your wisdom, knowledge and experiences that you share!
You're very welcome!
They constantly deceive others through traps made up of verbal and non-verbal approaches.
Love your channel narcisissts are experts at gas lighting do you know what ive noticed all the time with narcisissts you could be engaging in a serious conversation or even casual then they distract you with something really stupid like my friend would say I wonder if I took my tablet this morning sorry what were you saying then you start off again then another disruption wonder if I left my window open its absoulutely crazy but know there patterns like back of my hand is amusing watching it but also very annoying glad that most of these narcisissts out of my life now .x
Amen sister, I am so happy for U. I am trying so hard to get where U are! Point blank!! To ms. @michellemccormack 5415
By all means, do not let them provoke you by lashing out. This is a supply fuel for them.
I still have a problem with this.Bc I’m tired of it and it has grown real old.
Especially when you physically stay away from them and they can’t take the hint it’s a permanent situation.
Ppl can only take so much bf they have to release it.I need to learn to release mine in constructive ways instead of providing that much needed supply or giving reaction.
Thank you Kenny for explaining all of this really well. I like how you get to the point concisely while being understanding, and you're tactful and graceful. True, relationships take lots of work especially these narc ones. And videos like yours, which are supportive, reasonable and calm can be soothing and encouraging, while we navigate these rough waters.
Glad it was helpful!
I have a question. Is it possible for one to long for trauma bonding if that's the only love they were given as a child? I'm needing to heal through that . Something about the person that hurts you is the 1 to fix it by "cocooning" you. They feel like your safety for a moment until the next act of abuse . And without that in my life it's hard to even survive without feeling purpose. No identity.
The worst thing is when children are involved. Helpless, unconditionally loving, innocent. prey. I'll never know who my sons could have been if they had been raised in a loving and healthy family. The regret of my life is not getting out sooner, but I was abused as a child also so I was groomed for abuse. My ex was diagnosed with ASPD. When your kids are still struggling the trauma isn't in the past.
Thank you for your wisdom
14:25 explains what trying to get ahead of the problem means
14:04 actually tries to get ahead of the problem 😅
Yep, I don't care if 10 people see or hear him, he says they ALL lying. He just says stuff, and not a bit of truth to it..AND EVERY WORD OUT HIS MOUTH IS A LIE. Yes, he told me my own sisters didn't like me, and my family knows I'm crazy. I STOPPED GOING TO CHURCH OR LEAVING HOUSE UNLESS I HAD TO. I GOT SO DEPRESSED AND HID AWAY FROM EVERYONE
I’m enjoying being at home. They won’t stop coming over my house unannounced and calling me. What’s the issue? I don’t ever want to see any of them again. I’m not going to any of their funerals either. I don’t care if it’s fifty years from now. No one is allowed to attend mine either except my five children. I will literally flip out!
Love your videos and I have healed because it wasn't me he was the sick one and I'm free 😊
I am just so angry
I think this, at least for me, is the last thing to go. Feel it and let it out. Don't EVER let them know you are angry. Stay no contact. Going into monk mode works best for healing IMO. I was married to and abused by my ex for 29 years. I am one year no contact and divorced. My children were abused by her as well and know what she is. I have been able to heal and realize there is no helping her. I also realize that I was blocking her karma by enabling her.
I want to call him out. He hacked my phone he took my job away a year ago. He a well known person. I'm going to be homeless and he's a millionaire
Well said ❤
Yes! Yes!Yes ! Does this apply to twins that have totally different memories ?
Yes and they grimace when you don’t take the bait.
Or when you don't comply with every demand
Dude I love the double blind! Wow thx!!!!!!!!
Wayfair you got just what I need🎉
My wife could be yelling in the moment and I say “can you please stop yelling?” She’ll say I’m not yelling or you act like I wasn’t just quiet or I didn’t yell yesterday. It’s absurd.
And all these from a mom who pitted me against a househelp during my first pregnancy. Refuting everything I said to put me in excessive mental trauma. She does it to downplay her alcohol son’s misdeeds. And uses my sister to coplay dirty games because both are so similar.
Forgot one:
“ you’re delusional “
That was my ex’s favorite 😂
Projection!
They could not be any more delusional 🤭
Love your jacket!💜
Another gaslighting phrase: "We just keep going around and around on this issue." This phrase was what a narcissistic woman said years ago in a past job I had. Translated, it means, "You are not doing your job as I think you should (even though you are the expert and have done this for many years)."
More like, “I refuse to see a different perspective.”
Every single one of them plus “Grow up” “get over yourself” “you’re such a victim”
Definitely need to get some tips is back and definitely
Your movie analogy is right on! The carcus meter is easy ro visualize. Where am i on rhe carcus scale? You have such a gift to organize and explain the painful confusion of relationships. You made the revelation, we have relationships with others Because of the relationship with ourselves.
Hello Kenny, first you are respectfully intelligent, and you look healthy and wonderful.
Oh Kenny I could make more then one video😮
Repetition Compulsion' - when we are compelled to pick a bad relationship due past abuse. We pick what we are familiar with and that is abuse. We don't know we are doing this till we learn about Repetition Compulsion. Then we stop! And we pick a good partner.
Maybe give the caveat if the person is a parent, then you didn’t choose them. My heart clenched and had to stop listening when you said that
Same if it’s an older sibling or other family member. As a child you don’t have a choice, but to try & tolerate them until you grow up and move away.
💜 Bravo