What Happens When The Narcissist Knows You Know
Вставка
- Опубліковано 14 чер 2024
- In today's video, we're going to explore what happens when the narcissist knows you know. We'll talk about the 5 different types of reactions that the narcissist may have, and how to best respond if you're the one who knows.
📚 MY BOOK:
'Your Journey To Success': amzn.to/3nfVphr
🎓 LEARN MORE:
Join my free 6-Day Emotional Mastery Crash Course. If you want to learn why and how feelings (not thinking) leads to freedom and self-awareness geni.us/emotionalmasterycourse
🌍 My Website: www.kennyweiss.net
🕺🏼SCHEDULE A SESSION:
calendly.com/kennyweiss/singl...
🎓ONLINE MASTERCLASSES:
thegreatnessu.com/courses
💜 Enroll in Private Group Coaching:
www.tguprivategroup.com/
🕺CONNECT WITH ME:
Heal The Hurt Weekly Podcast 🎙geni.us/healthehurt
Instagram 📸 @kennyweiss.kw
Facebook 👥 / kennyweiss.net
Newsletter 💌 geni.us/kennyweissnewsletter
Hi, I'm Kenny Weiss 👋
My channel is all about speaking truth and taking responsibility for healing our emotional pain so we can reclaim our authentic selves.
I will be providing you the skills and tools to heal childhood trauma, childhood emotional neglect, codependency, narcissistic abuse, stress, shame, fear, anger, sadness, self-deception, self- sabotage, depression, divorce, relationship problems, parenting, parental alienation, estrangement, addiction, mental health, mindset, self-love, the worst day cycle and more.
#kennyweiss #worstdaycycle #narcissist
“Nobody can make me think, do, feel, or believe anything unless I let them. I’m responsible for that.” Pure gold🏆
Taking notes 📝
thats whyn i dont let people with no health no time no wealth insult me for being a single men with health time and wealth
i dont let them project their misery
Good for you. What has that earned the rest of us. Rub it won’t you
Never sleep, marry or have kids with a narcissist woman or man. Period.
Too late. He is three. Thankfully, he didn't want to marry me (his words )
This is the best advice I have had so far , that stop trying to figure them out and just work on your own healing
I'm going through the character assassination 😅😅😅😅😅😅 but because I watch these videos it doesn't hurt me anymore.
Awesome!
If you're trying to heal from narc abuse this is one of the most important videos you'll ever listen to. Thank you, Sir!!!! 🙏❤
I agree
having a happy healthy rich life is my favorite way to get my revenge
since they are unhealthy unhappy and poor.
Hey don’t blame yourself please. No shame, no guilt, trauma litteracy and psychology were not taught in high school. You still have this worthiness they wanted to steal from you. You are powerful, you have power and choice because you know better. Be proud that they failed to take your soul and the wholeness of you. 2,3,4 years from now you gonna look at you and be more proud of your strength and resilience. The universe loves you so much!
All I wanted was for my mom to love me. She had 5 babies die before I was a twinkle in my parents eyes. I could never please her inspite of being a great child. I was 51 y/o when I finally stood up to my mom!! Best day of my life. Now we rarely speak. Her loss, not mine!
All throughout my childhood my emotional needs were minimized. I learned through therapy to look out for my own needs first before that of others and to stop ignoring when my needs are being minimized or ignored. Once when I was having a discussion with my parent about something and said “ Hey remember when….”, they went off on me because all they could reference was the trauma that was going on with them at the time. They out of their own guilt they felt like I was indirectly pointing a finger at them. They started screaming “I don’t want to talk about it!” I had to remind them that I was there and had to live the trauma WITH them and it was a part of my history and I had a right to refer to it because it was something I lived through too. I explained to them that it was never my intent to blame them, but they needed to figure out what kind of relationship they wanted with me (deep or shallow) because I would abide by their decision. If I have to be guarded all the time in what I say around them, then we’d proceed with having a shallow relationship, but if they could stop feeling like every time I open my mouth I’m pointing the finger at them, then we could have a deep and significant relationship. Those were my boundaries. Thankfully, they chose the latter. I’m grateful the pleasant relationship we developed the last 10 years of their life. And it was all because I put my foot down and insisted on my boundaries not being violated.
I stood up to my pedo father, I realize I wanted my “dad” but was not in that capacity to fulfill that for me, I let him go
He’s now smearing me, but I know it’s not true so I do t care
🙏
I was 42 when I stood up to mine
25 felt so good. My chest never felt lighter.
I like it when you talk about us being in a child state and giving them all the power as if they are our parent. How crazy are we!
I did that. My husband was in some ways like a father figure to me. He had all the control.
Kind of like a step parent who is a narc.
This is the first time anyone has clearly expressed and explained my own experience. The most important thing he says is to recognize your childhood "trauma". If you don't, you'll repeat it in another relationship.
You gave some advice that most do not. “Focus on why you missed the signs of the Narc. To begin with. Forgive yourself but work hard to understand yourself.
This is such a good video! I didn't truly heal after dealing with a narcissist until I got real about the fact that I was getting something out of being codependent with the narcissist. It's hard to explain this to people who are early in their healing journey after narcissistic abuse.
Lol. When he told me how awful I was as a child, I called my parents, siblings and friends in the country where I grew up to ask if I behaved that way. Everyone was shocked because I was not like that at all. That's when I considered projection and realized his every accusation was self-revelation. It gave me compassion but he ran to a new source of supply.
Don't bother with the compassion for him gf He has none for you.
Finally somebody said it. It’s on me to do the work on myself, not understand why the narcissist is the way that they are. The real question is. Why was I attracted to them… Thank you.
My mom has definitely escalated all of these since I’ve finally made it to where I can be on my own and told her I’m done. Ain’t falling for it though.
Hurray !! Free at last !! 🎉🥳
@@leanne123 🙏🏾❤️
My mother expressed the opinion that I needed electro-shock therapy because I refused to have any contact with her. Big hug and good luck to you.
So evil to attack the wounded child.
No one and I mean no one deserves abuse of any kind for any reason whatsoever!!! I don't care what they have done or haven't done!!! If you can't try to be kind, loving, and respectful to everyone, then you should keep your mouth shut and not hurt others. Stop trying to control what others do, say, their appearance, and etc. Mind your own business, take care of your own life, help others when you can, respect everyone and yourself, and don't crap on others!!!
Wow. Getting tangled with a narcissist was what made me start really examining my childhood. I had loving parents, but they both had traumatic childhoods. They did a lot of their own inner work, but some of the trauma did pass to me. I’m trying not to pass it to my children. Thanks for the clear explanation
Same. Kind of a blessing in disguise honestly. I know what's been holding me back in prior relationships and more importantly what caused that trauma in my childhood.
Same. after I escaped my abusive x and I started noticing that they both SHUT DOWN "my side" instantly, and not just shut me down but also both acted the victim of my having considered that there was another perspective. I began to realise, this frustration is familiar. Because of my parents I ended up with people around me who also believed, there is one perspective; MINE, and your attempt to present another perspective is outrageous!!
I realised it was the same mixture of emotions. Frustration, shame and injustice!!
So they are fully aware of what they are doing
They have to control. Oh the projection is unbelievable.
Fully
Thanks for this one Kenny!
After dating the latest iteration of my mom, I knew I couldn't keep repeating the same pattern. I really was just living out that worst day cycle. Despite years of weight lifting, martial arts training, and even firefighting; there I was, a toddler freezing or fawning while being abused. Traveling back in time to some enraged lunatic hurling my toy firetruck down the stairs and breaking it while telling me I did to myself and I deserve it and I'm lucky that's all she did. Hurts like hell man!
Narcissists are easy to figure out in the present, they are damaged, hurtful people that are generally intolerable. I just needed the approval of someone who I genuinely believe toyed with the thought of killing me as a child. Seriously, it sends a cold shudder down my spine to remember how she reacted to the Andrea Yates story when I was a kid.
I don't know you, Brendan, but I know you didn't deserve any of what you went through. You're a remarkable person for not only surviving, but wanting to be and do better than the individual who hurt you. Peace, light and healing to you.
OMG Kenny I am just so grateful for the sharing of your knowledge. I needed this 20 years ago - thank you for giving it to me now. George Elliot said, “ It’s never too late to be the person you should have been”.
Glad it was helpful!
55 years old SON. ALL 5
NO CONTACT
I'm glad I came across this. I've been stuck in that spiral of watching videos on narcissism for over a year. I need to move forward after what she did, but I also feel like I need to understand her so i don't fall for her manipulative tactics she keeps trying to use. She left me with primary custody of our six kids. I'm trying to avoid her traps so I can take care of them.
It’s like they have to OBLITERATE you
THEY CALL THE COPS. 😎🎸
My Narcissistic eldest sister called the police on me in an argument she created by gaslighting me. The officer took her side and called me a 'racist' I reported him to his Lieutenant and my sister was furious that she could no longer manipulate a police officer.
Yes!! He called the cops on me after pinning me down and threatening to kill me and throwing me full force Into my closet- breaking my shoe rack!! So twisted 😢
They would contact Child Protective Services if you have children. They will control how you are perceived by others if they cannot control you. A complete idiot!
Evil step monster order Christmas gifts for her biological sons. Called police on me and accused me of identity fraud and tried to get me arrested. Told her and the police if she didn't order items she should call the company and inform them that the order is fraud and cancel order. Then she should go to the post office and inform them of the fraud and ask that they not deliver the package. She did none of that and continued to call the police many times and keep the items she ordered.
Omg this literally 😵💫
I knew my childhood was messed up when I was a teen. Though it was shocking, the first time my store manager said to me when I was 16 “ your parents are weird.” Then it was a relief because I knew it was true.
My mom actually attacked me when I was 23 or so. At first she tried to hit me in the face. I grabbed her arms, and I restrained her. She screamed for my dad acting victimized. I immediately let her go. As I walked away to get in my car, she attacked me from behind and knocked me to the ground. My dad said don’t ever step foot on this property again. I replied, for your sake go see a Psychiatrist. You are mentally ill. Yep, typical 2 year old brain thought pattern/ behavior. I had not had any therapy yet. I did know the truth. What I also learned later is about the cycle. 😢My boyfriend who I married is a Covert Narcissist. Guess what? I’m not a magical/ mystical human being that’s fantasy. I am an empath. Simply stated I am overly obsessed with being empathetic. So much so that I did not follow my intuition when I saw the first 5 red flags 🚩 about my boyfriend at the time. And run away.
Watching your videos, enables me to do a lot of journaling. Thanks for helping me process. I honestly don’t think anyone reads my comments. Don’t Care. 🤷🏻♀️
I'm going through all of these right now. I had just the kind of childhood you talk about and it made me an easy victim. After 20+ years of her abusive DARVO BS I caught her cheating. Over that 20+ years I was working through my childhood trauma issues. I gave her 6 months to transition to the other house to lower the impact on our kids and get into therapy so she wouldn't screw up our kids. After waiting over 100 days with her waffling back and forth saying she would grant the divorce and making threats I outed everything publicly in the vaguest way I could. She did the Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender thing responding with personal attacks that were lies and half truths to assasinate my character and make me look like a monster and pervert. I responded, and defended... she used it to twist things even further. She's started therapy and gone to two sessions; I think she's already charmed the guy. I just want to protect my kids from that darkness in her!
I’m sorry. Reading that hurt 😔
All of this happened to him so that we could be guided, this is prophet hood.
Kenny is out here dropping truth bombs 💯
Wow, he always knew, I was continually figuring him out, he kept changing tactics, always trying to get me to fight, almost killed me, from cruelty to harmless victim, I had no idea what I was dealing with, felt bad for him.
He did everything you say, slowly chipped away at me until I was traumatized
I lived with my sister, and I realized she was a covert narcissist , when I didn’t do what she wanted , and I set a boundary, she got insane, , physical abuse with me , and evicted me from her house, I was paying her rent , but she still evicted me . I was living on Social Security alone. And she did not care . I ended up, living in a shelter for over two months, before I could get a place to live. She kept taking me to court on Domestic Violence charges, that were bogus, and were always thrown out of court. I’m still suffering from the mental abuse from her. I moved to another county and she found me and I don’t feel safe. And no one can help me. !!!! She’s very vengeful and spiteful and I never know what she’ll do next. ???!😢😢😢. I can’t get a way from her. !!!! The Law. Can’t do anything for me. !!!! I don’t feel. SAFE 😢😢😢😢. FROM. HER. 😢😢😢😢😢😢
Thats why I dont have facebook or I tell anyone where I am. And by the way. Even if they track you down probably they cant do nothing to you. Go to the police denounce them. And to a dr and talk about your trauma with them. Leave bread crumbs of their behaviour everywhere and everyone.
I got fired for making it known that I knew my "director" was a Narcissist and had been gaslighting myself, other employees and patients. She started writing me up for real petty things and then bold faced lied with her reasons for terminating me....👹
This is the most helpful video I’ve watched thus far.. I’m definitely in the “hyperfocusing on them” part HEAVILY.. and I tell myself ALLL the time “but how do I heal from this?!” So glad you said get on with your life.. I think sometimes we just need to hear someone else say it❤❤❤❤❤
Glad it was helpful!
I knew I turned a corner in my healing journey when a relative with narcissistic traits (whom I have housed, supported financially, and managed care for after they sustained a TBI) told me, after I confronted them about a poor decision they made, told me that I have been "undermining them for their whole life". Rather than feeling upset or defending, I just felt grateful that I understood them better and could manage my interactions with them accordingly going forward.
Yes! The reaction and the trauma it causes.
When I stopped taking the bait. The made up blackmail started.
Than the victim.
The name calling .
The pure gold is understanding exactly what this video is talking about and no longer getting sucked in.
Over several months now, I have been watching numerous videos of how to deal and cope with people who has a Narcissistic trait. By far, this is the best video I have seen of how Kenny Weiss actually describes the dynamics and what causes a person to become a Narcissist. This is so bloody true, and I am actually amazed how of how the origin started. Thank you very much. Wonderful advice.
I recognize the trauma and now know I'm the scapegoat but in the process have lost everything. I'm homeless as a result and have nowhere to turn realizing the very people I have been depending on my entire life are actually the perpetrators of the abuse...
Incredible advice. I appreciate your gentle approach at delivering such bluntness. Thank you.
You are so welcome!
""Its *their life its none of our business" Very true. Adults are capable of making their own decisions. WE can smile, be evasive, ignore.. A sense of humour can carry you through! Thank you.
Because of your experience you truly tell it like it is - and be in reality! I can definitely attest to the work to be free! Sometimes the psyche isn't ready to really deal with their past and truly are blind to it because so busy feeling victimized by the other. Sadly, they may not see this until the relationship is completely broken and sometimes after several relationships are broken.
Kenny you saved my life
I don't know how to say thank you. The way you explained him “narcissist “was like you knew what I personally went through step by step Thank you!
What a refreshing video....biggest messege for me from this vid is to stop focusing on them and get on with your life :-)
What do they live off of: our emotional reaction. Wow!
This is so true! My mother, I have now reflected, devalued me as a child and also as a grown adult. Would criticise and emotionally attack me and always compared me negatively to my dad, who she felt had let her down all her life, said he was like her 5th child. I was my dads blue eyed girl. It is only going through my current relationship, and I have recently identified my partner of 4 years as a narcassist, that I have been able to see this. I have called time on the relationship. My partner has not put up any fight to keep me or acknowledged anything that I have said to him.
I left a really decent, normal, grounded man, the father of my 2 wonderful children, 13 years ago. He didn’t outwardly show me the love that i now know I have been seeking. Hence 2 wrong choices of men since I left him. Singledom for me from now. Happy with that
My childhood has me a bit confused. I had a loving mother but she was a widowed deaf mute. In being so, life was black and white never empathetic. It also came with little general conversation other than what really needed to be said. Raising 3 small children on her own and trying to make ends meet meant she worked hard. She did also have trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms. What I find hard about all this is I know she wasn't those negative influences in my life because she wanted to be or didn't love me/us. I'm not sure where to begin to heal from this childhood. I know she did all she could to help us all survive our lot in life. 🤷
Wow bless her heart . It must have been hard on her doing all that alone. Also it must have been hard on you being raised that way.
@@EveofPyrite ❤️
She probably learned this to Coupe with the Difficulties She had to Live in the World in Her own way. I couldn’t begin to understand how difficult it would be. My Heart goes out to You all though and could understand where your Compassion is coming from for Her. You have a Giving Heart to be this way and it is Tough to not receive that what you obviously need to feel whole from this Relationship. Don’t expect it though, to not detach and become Cold is the Difficulty I see. I wish I could do more for you, but I Pray for You and your Family ❤
When they say trauma, it can be anything from alcoholism, to depression to emotional apathy. I am a disability rep and worked with the school for the deaf. From what I understand that the deaf community can havve emotional illness or dysregulation because of the deafness itself, because they don't get to interact with anyone else like able people can. It is very isolating. I have had multiple deaf friends who self reported this to me It makes me sad. How lonely it must be.
I like this focus as I feel I have been stuck in the anger trap for too long and sick of it.
Your words are saving my life. Yes, it's my turn! Thank you Kenny.
i think this is the most important clip about narcisists i saw and what should i do in the future. i have a special case because we are close neighbours but i know will heal one day soon
And an undiagnosed autism girl with a narcissistic mother and an aloof father which was his answer to keep peace with her
Forgive and live ❤❤❤let God deal w these humans
Spot on, as always. Thank you! ❤
You are so welcome
This is my neighbor. I'm 55 and have never seen anything like this behavior. I guess I always RUN when I sense the illness. After going down the rabbit hole of a narcissist it explains all the behavior I see next door. I'm living my best life and he's made false accusations to LE, my employer. Damage to property. Unbelievable. I was on to this early so I didn't feed his needed supply. Best part of this vid is the 3 reactions that you the victim take. Best advice ever.
Jeez I wish this video existed 8 mths ago. This is such a brilliant video and he explains it so well and literally made me cry. I am moving on now. Thx brother.
There is a point where the grief itself becomes a pathological problem. Which is why you see people who are still on the topic 15 years later. Trauma and active grieving should be temporary.
This video is profoundly 😮honest, and extremely informative. Thank you sir.
Glad it was helpful!
It's the best and most useful video I watched about this theme, I'm one of those who spent the last two months getting all possible information about It. I didn't know anything about NPD and PD, so it took some time to figure it out what I've been through. All things he said happened in the really same way and still going on from the moment I spoiled her and all her lies in that moment it's been like a switch of personalitity and i didn't know anymore the person I was in front of. It's been devastating realising that the person I've been together in years wouldn't exist and everything was a recital. I've always had feelings of something strange in her, but i wouldn't ever think something like this... but passing time, I even realise that I have a problem too..
It's very true. I pulled away have detached. Her mum told me she was worried about her. So I contacted her to try and help. She told me she didn't want me back "I didn't ask" I said good don't want to come back. I said I was trying to help her because evil spirits are attacking her. She got so angry and told me go do as a pleased and she couldn't care less if I was sleeping with dozens of women. I was left thinking how odd. I called to help with evil spirits and she twisted it to me getting back with her "gaslighting" but I know this trick now so I kept saying why are you so angry? I didn't get angry at all nor did it pull me in. It actually repelled me
As soon as my ex-spouse gave me a devious smirk after me calling out a victim-like flop they did to look like physical abuse took place was when I started divorce work. I was not going to let her set me up. Checked out right then and there. These ppl are evil!
Thank you Kenny for sharing your wisdom. Love your attire…..purple and gold 👍🏻
Kenny, I told my husband if you attempt to intimidate me by getting in my face being verbally abusive I am calling the police.
Some don’t realize that verbal abuse is domestic violence.
Thank you Kenny 🙏🏻
I’ve full responsibility and understand where my childhood trauma stems from. I believe my mother was a narc, I married 2 & gave birth to one who’s now a young adult. The hardest is being a parent to one.
Do you think having narcs around you all your life can contribute to you adapting some narc traits yourself. Sometimes I think I could be a narcissist too or display narc tendencies. I just to feel relief and learn what a normal life is like 😢
They will smirk and smile as they are stabbing you in the back. They will give the well I am shocked. Then they will proceed to take as much as they can from you and play the victim when they recieved good things from you. Do they have a heart or soul ? Are they even real people ?
Thank you for this great video! Disengaging, healing and getting on with my own life has set me free!
We allways talk about parents, what about violent manipulating siblings, teachers and violent manipulating class-school mades. it is not only the parent who forms/shapes your childhood.
This is so en pointe Kenny. I constantly tried to understand why I kept suffering trying to figure out the narcissist and now it makes total sense.
Oh my goodness I’m crying. You are an Angel man 🙏🏻🥰
These people have traded their soul for Narcissism and are now dead inside..And what they hate about you is that you have a healthy soul and they are very jealous of that and they very much WANT IT! This is why they get angry when you fight them on their Narcissism because THEY WANT A SOUL! Every Time they get supply from you they take a piece of your soul and it feels soooooo good to them They want to take your soul and give you theirs..A soul exchange,. their dead soul for your healthy soul. Every time they get supply from you, there is an exchange, they feel good and you feel bad. This is why after a while you start feeling dead inside yourself.. This is why victims says they are evil. because they feel this..
This is on point. My maternal family were NARCs and very dysfunctional and no wonder I attract narcissistic people. It makes more sense now. As the middle child, I was always looking for approval and attention. 😢
Same
Same
Thank you so very much Kenny. I am grateful for the knowledge that is shared with so much Truth, Love, and most of all, focusing on loving ourselves enough to choose to heal. (Spiritually, Emotionally, Mentally and yes, even Physically.) It is all interconnected. Much Respect Always! 🙏🏼💚✨💜
Oh my, your arguments with a parent sound darn close to mine.
Well, it also feels like "home".
Our parents model our sense of normality.
Forty-fifty years ago, most of us had virtually no understanding of "trauma"....unless we studied psychiatry.
Even then, awareness of childhood trauma was not understood or acknowledged.
Oh, btw, they said 5 minutes b4 they called cops " I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. YOU ONLY ONE FOR ME. PLEASE BELIEVE ME!". Like, wtf
"The sky is Purple Kenny, just look at the painting behind you. The one with the purple clouds and purple sky. My God! This is what you always do. You start arguing about anything. You know, this is how you probably forced your ex to leave you. I hope this time, you realize it and apologize to me. And be glad I am not reminding you of what you did to me last week. Next time you do this to me I will leave you and take the dog."
Yes you are totally right😁. The reaction was emotional and false information. My response was: I have read your response 3 times and finished with a smile. When this is your feeling than I will be nice and not giving you this negative feelings anymore. Good luck with your new love you already having😉. After that I blocked here and all related connections from email and internet apps. Than to clean the mind more deleted all communication and pictures of here because all was fake. It gave me a lot of rest and after firing the study on internet everything became more clear. Thanks for your input. Yes the cause is my childhood and from their I looked forward 👍🏻👍🏻
I love the way they project their role and what they're thinking onto you as if they can actually see into your head. I'm in a battle with one and he thinks dragging me through the mud with my past is going to destroy me, but I am proud of what I've recovered from and the past doesn't predict the future when you break the cycle.
The connection with the childhood is real... my mom was too busy working to raise me as a single parent and the marc played the same game. I somehow became completely good without being with anyone after finally having a mostly healthy relationship (with someone that had anxious attachment so I kind of ended up securely attached by trying to help that person with their issues). I don't know how it all worked out but somehow I ended up OK on the other end and now the only way my ex gonna hurt me is by trying to go to court and taking our child he abandoned from over a year ago.
I just want to sincerely thank you for this video. I've watched some excellent videos on narcissistic recovery on UA-cam, but this one really hits the spot with me. I've been like a narc-magnet my whole life through broken marriages and other difficulties due to my toxic relationship with my father growing up. The inner child's voice only seems to get louder with age.
You are very welcome
list mistake error , repeated mistake error, to learn wich error mistake get more repeated and are more to be prioritised, list potential solution
list victories and good move, repeat them.
minmax potential
lower misery
learn, apply, repeat
This is brilliant, and why we get triggered
If you have a child with them and can see their patterns and how it’s harming your child and that they are using it as something to get to you, how can I get off their back and ignore it? I want so badly to disengage but then they do something that jeopardizes my child’s well being and I can’t sit idly by. What am I supposed to do?
Me too.
I never thought Id ever encounter someone like this until I my own freind did half these things to myself and others when her dirty secrets and lying came out.
This is a brilliant video. Thanks for the reminder it's easy to get lost in the haze. I wish I could totally unpack the considerable trauma I suffered as a child. In some ways I have managed to but I think a professional would help to fully understand it and accept it
I now realise I have CPTSD and I don’t have the same responses as regular people. I’m learning lots about myself after 60 years of trying to manage “life”. More than 20 years no contact with a malignant narcissist mother who recently died. Hopefully some of my children will open their minds now the constant drip, drip of her poison has been switched off. You and I will be OK! Love from Australia 🇦🇺
@@margyrowland thanks for the really nice reply! We've both been through the wringer by these toxic people but we are stronger and good people at the end of the day. Love back to you from England
@@margyrowlandwell done. The “work” you did, be proud of yourself.
Big Little Lies Nicole Kidman
Great video … I agree with the next step in healing is: seeing your own trauma that caused you to be lured in by a narcissist. I’ve discovered that seeing this about myself was difficult at first … but so necessary to fully heal myself so I can be in a good relationship in the future.
My father was a narcissist . I did not understand it as a child.
This is such a great video, I really want to thank you, I've watched hundreds of these videos and never have I heard that I was attracted to him due to what all happened to me as a child, I wouldn't of ever thought that was why, but the more I think about it, my mind is blown thats exactly whats going on, my Dad was loving but not around and my mom never touched me and im always wanting to be hugged and love for me validated and when my Dad left I believed I wasn't reason enuf to stay for, I was 5 so I didnt understand my mom didnt have a choice, he did however have a choice when he cheated on my mom and stayed with that woman and had a child and there was no time for me, on top of that is much more different types of trauma that I'll spare you the details. So I can not thank you enough for posting this, so well said and so well laid out. Ive been trying to separate from him for a while but he refuses to leave, we've been together 20 yrs but this last yr was different I could tell he met someone else, and completely destroyed our lives. Right now, all he can do is devalue and project his misery. I woke up to a text this morning, basically just stating im a horrible person and the reason everything is messed up, and that Im a liar, which I actually take pride in the fact I never really have a reason to need to lie. Im trying to save up to get my daughter the hell out of this, but its gonna take time, and it's just pure hell. Hes a covert so its sickening to see all the people in hus life be so convinced how great he is, if I told them what I know, they wouldn't believe me, hes a master manipulator. Wish me luck. I need it!! I cant thank you enough for this informative video? I feel stronger just knowing why/how this happened.
Same story here.
Can relate.
He was a psychopath.....still is....35 years later.
My stepfather has been abusing my Mother for yrs! Now she has cognitive impairment he is worse and stopping us seeing her! He is a narcissistic and verbally and emotionally has abused us for yrs! I'm 58 now but need to protect my Mother 😢Thank u for this video!
This is some dense material to get through.
The covert female narcissist in my life is my primary care physician.
Recently she manipulated my private parts without permission. But she did so right in front of a female nurse as if to say, “Look. I can do whatever I want with this patient.”
😮 WOW that's not right!
@@zoraidacastro2703 Thanks. I’m trying to get an apology from her r/n. I have basically suggested to her she’s risking her medical license if she doesn’t apologize.
Still waiting … ⏳
😢ask God to take her away and to send you someone normal
Wow. sorry that happened to you !
I wish I heard that 38 year ago😏 You are so RIGHT… that hit me in the GUT🙏🏼🥰
This is so accurate! Ty!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 This absolutely validates my healing journey… I’m not crazy😂TY!
WOW...this is great, thankyou!! God bless!!!
“You keep going back because you’re focusing on the narc instead of the childhood trauma” deep, this just triggered me to be better do better
Good for you that takes guts. If you’re looking for Solutions, my website is filled with tons of things to help you.
It took me a while to find out that my Best friend turned against me telling lies about me I cut him out of my life I pray for him
I didn't transfer my unhealed pain onto my children. My x does believe that i turned the kids against him. I didnt. But i raised them to i guess notice if people around them are beimg supportive, if people around them see them and hear them. So then they meet their dad and they can correctly identify what they feel. Guilty. Obligated. Manipulated.
I tried to talk to him but he is determined to blame me for everything. Same as my parents. Its so sad though. I was family orientated. I wanted my kids to have a big family. I think you are right ✅️ you have to just let people be their awful selves. I am 90% able to accept that my mother is never going to see me as real. I can't make her care about the impact of her actions on me. But she cannot make me play the part of sensitive emotional daughter anymore. It's not much of a win.
I don't know but I let go let God thank you
This is so on point. I kept wondering why I kept suffering trying to figure out the Narcissist. And makes total sense. I finally understand why. To think years tormented silently also wondering why they were so cruel as Narcisstic. Thank you!
😮😊😮😊😮😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
This was so in time for me.?thank you ❤ the best video to talk about our OWN healing And how much we are to blame ourselves and I have transferred that to my daughter
Yep my 2nd husband was a combination of both my parents in childhood. My husband was a neglectful narcissist (similar to a covert narcissist but abandons)… my father is a covert narcissist and my mother was neglectful because of her alcoholism… it was like my husband was a storm of all the problems with both my parents
Thank you for unpacking this in such a meaningful way.
It really helps !!
My ex uses narcissism all the time. My grown kids follow his every word. Now my grand kids are his mini me's. Rather be the way i raised them with love and respect. That is all gone. Trying to heal. With my daughter but forced to sleep on a floor. She said that i can't have a bed
He doesnt uses narcissism he or she is a narcississt.
Yes. Become the expert of childhood trauma and dynamics. Not the narcissist.
Staying focused on them is a part of the trap.
This is so spot on
It seems to me that the label "equalization" needs to be clarified as *false* or *pseudo-* equalization. A more accurate label might be "whataboutism"
On another note, a very important concept brought up here is the one of MATURITY. The piece about the three "gets" is excellent ❤