8 Huge Mistakes Guys Make On The First 3 Dates
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- Опубліковано 8 кві 2023
- Adam Lane Smith shares the 8 mistakes that most guys make on first dates. What should you really say that will impress her? How do you go beyond surface level talk? Why do red pill dating tactics tend to end in disaster?
#therapy #dating #redpill
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Hello you legends. Watch the full episode with Adam here - ua-cam.com/video/v3BnroTQuOg/v-deo.html
Cultivate a personality and stop being lazy. That will solve 80% of your dating problems. Be honest when dating. If you don't want a relationship, be honest with the person you are dating. That's not what you want. Stop leading people on. That still doesn't fix what's broken in your life though. Do hard things, meet people, do things in life to gain experience, have something interesting to talk about, have something to offer another human being on why they should be friends or date you. Figure our your values, morals, and principles. Be an authentic caring human being. People can sense these things about others.
Chris. I have no clue if you will respond to me. I have the solution for men / women not interacting. I caught up with your long interview on Diary's channel on my men and women barely relate these days nor have as much sex than before.
The trouble with my idea my " fix to the problem " and trust me its awesome it might drive out websites like plenty of fish. You may know POF they are on public stock trade now, they have went public and worth serious money.
So here lies my dilemma, I have the wildest and most obvious fix to men and women finding each other. The problem I have is imagine I just invented the wheel likely mans greatest invention. Take that moment but now your me your just a regular dude and a construction guy for a living. I have no money for patents on my idea but on a daily basis you continue to watch youtubers like yourself / Jordan Peterson Joe Rogan your channels every other day are talking about man and woman issues Matt Walsh same thing but your me and have this genius " fix " for mankind
I scream at my T.V screen with the solution. NO ONE on any videos can see the fix.
Any ideas Chris , what would you do if you were me and felt you could better the world. We are faced as you know with global depopulation. I can safely say I know how to get men and women interacting on proper scale again. Will you help me?
1. Too shy / only talking about surface topics
2. Trying too hard / acting like a pick up artist
3. Playing games. I.E. not texting her for 3 days
4. Coming off as too needy
5. Trying to rush to sex
6. Never going to give you up, never going to let you down, never going to run around and desert you
7. Sharing the wrong type of stories
8. Three dates and bring up the commitment topic
Never gonna give iuu uppp 😂
Don’t 3 and 4 kind of contradict themselves though? You can’t wait 3 days because you’re playing games but you can’t text right away because you’re to needy. Bro what? 😂Also one and two, contradict themselves. You can’t be to shy but you also can’t be to confident 😂Just be mediocre lmao fuck that. To many rules. Go with the flow and if it feels good it’ll go well if it don’t feel genuine than who cares, more fish in the sea.
@@467076 3 days is too much and is pretty obvious that you're playing games, you do realise there's a lot of wiggle room between 3 seconds and 3 days, you can wait a few hours before answering because you're busy and that's good enough
@@Maria-sq4jl We just got Rick rolled. Lol
@@467076 only 2 days! 😆
He confuses red pill with pick up artist. I am a master in red pill and my wife is totally in love with me after 24 years together. Red pill means, you understand the nature of women and give them what they need, not what they say.
Funny how blue pill shills mixed those up.
A great way to send a woman running is to use the term "high value man" on the first date.
When I started dating in my 40s after the breakdown of a long term relationship I found women in their 40s really don't give a shit about rules and life goals and security etc etc they have heard it all before. They just want to enjoy someone's company and see where it takes them. Also there is absolutely no pretence when it comes to sex. If they fancy you and want it, they will come and get it
THANK YOU for telling it like it REALLY is for grown-up women! WE appreciate it hearing a reality-based, affirming message in the midst of so many men's resentment & disrespect.
Definitely, older women just want to have fun.
Not going in for those serious conversations early is a big thing that causes early failure. 3 dates in she wants children and you don’t, you want to get married and she wants someone to pay for Gucci bags, you have incompatible morals etc.
Men, it’s not needy or embarrassing to tell her what you want from this and who you are as a person, right away.
😂😂 Hilarious!
“They’re tired of the fun.”
Exactly the signal men are looking for in order to expunge them as a potential candidate.
Yep, she's hitting a wall and now wants to settle after having all the fun but chads are not interested so she needs to find herself a beta lol
tired of STI's
@@MB-up3mh + dead on
Right. If she's "tired of the fun", you know she's sold herself out to pretty much anybody already.
"They're tired of the fun" - Most common phrase on dating sites from older women who are tired of all the fuck boys and may or may not have several children laying around. They are looking for someone who's serious ($$$) to support them and help make them an honest women.
One huge mistake listening to someone about something they stand to gain monetization. Everyone is different. No matter what if you do all these things perfectly it won’t work if you’re not compatible, similar goals or stages in life. Be yourself, don’t lie, and know that not everything is for everyone. 👍🏼👍🏼
Even if it works - make sure you are attracting the person who is right for you. This is not a sport
Have some self-worth. Cultivate a personality. For people to like you, you have to be interesting. I've met plenty of boring friendly people. The friendly people who have something to offer and talk about are fun to be around. None of these guys seem to want to better themselves in any way. I just read excuse after excuse and laziness reeks. There is some serious mental illness going around in these comments.
He's talking about high quality women, I don't want to chase a high quality woman so all these points of advice are useless for me.
@@ch-yq5yn Well done sir. Appreciate your courage to share some harsh truths and call people to something higher. I shall do my best to respond to your challenge.
Well said!!! So true.
Really needed this today itself.
Love the honest and positive vibe about this.
Guys, from what I've learned and what keeps me in peace these days when it comes to women is this, (Note: This works best and is easier to follow when you have a purpose and a mission in life and you are dealing with stable, secure women)
1. when you first meet a woman and u want to ask her out, make sure she IS INTERESTED, the more interested the better, because it makes it easier to talk to when going on a date compared to a girl that will give two word answers. Flow down the river, not up the river.
2. Always ask questions and try to keep her talking 80% of the time so that you can keep that mystery, CAUSE WOMEN ARE CURIOUS LIKE CATS, if you tell your whole story, you'll take out that special ingredient of mystery which really drives a girl into wanting to go out with you more to KNOW YOU MORE.
3. A girl already knows you are romantically interested if you ask her out, you don't have to mention it. What you can do is throw obvious hints that you are attracted to her. Be DIRECT BUT IN A PLAYFUL WAY. If she went out with you she most likely is attracted, so be bold and direct, BUT YOU HAVE TO OWN WHAT YOU SAY. DON'T GO BACK ON YOUR WORD OR BE APOLOGETIC if you say something like "Damn I love your lips", or "Damn you have an unbelievable body".
4. Never Text to know a person, use the phone to make calls and arrange dates. Just like in sales. U want to save conversation for the date and YOU WANT TO ACTUALLY KNOW THE GIRL IN PERSON. THAT TAKES BALLS. Always do what takes balls.
5.Never ask for another date on the same date.
6. At first the guy should pursue for the first 3-4 Dates. Meaning you should text first to arrange the date. Make Definite Dates. If you played your cards right she should be texting you about some random shit, assume she wants to see you and make a date right there because women are not direct and are not going to tell you that they want to see you, they just want to see if you are still interested in them and text you some random shit. UNLESSSS SHE IS REALLY INTO YOU AND SHE DOES DIRECTLY SAY SHE WANTS TO SEE YOU. In that case you're good cause she is REALLY interested. Now you change positions, she is pursuing you by texting first and you make a date. Boom, date cleared. She texts again to see you. You Make a date a different day a different place cause you always want to keep it juggling, creates mystery. Boom Date cleared. and you repeat that and you're good CAUSE WOMEN LOVE THE PURSUIT. You never want to tell her where you are going or what is going to happen on the date because that just spoils the date, like spoiling a movie. Every date 80% her talking and you making questions and every time she wants to talk about you, give her a little glimpse on what she asked but not the whole story and redirect it to her.
7. Around this time she should start to fall in love and she should indirectly throw the idea of a relationship. The more into you she is, the more obvious she will be. She might be like "I don't want to talking to other girls" or "I don't want you to be dating other girls but me", that is her way of saying she wants to something serious, but if you are not sure ASK HER. Then it is your decision if you want to commit, if not then tell her, " I'm not willing to commit, and I am just having fun right now" or just be straight up as to why you won't commit, but don't be an ASSHOLE and have her on a leash and trying to manipulate her. BE HONEST. And let her choose if she wants to stick around or if she decides to leave but never force. True love comes when the other person feels free.
8. If you commit, then the idea of a relationship is to keep it the same as when you were dating. Make dates. Be Spontaneous. Don't be too comfortable cause she might drop your ass. Just because the label is there does not mean her attraction can drop. Grow together. Be her Rock. Never argue with Women. Show Respect. Show Self respect and she will respect you.
This is very superficial and it is actually more complex but at the same time simple. This is just for me to recap all what I've Learned from my coach Corey Wayne and from lots of experience. Started when I was 14, now 20 years old. As I said it goes deeper and if you really need help with women but the red pill strat does not resonate with you, I recommend you the coach. I am grateful to share this with anyone that sees it because it has truly changed my life for the better. Women are not a worry for me anymore. This guy might actually help you find your purpose/mission in life. LOVE YALL
Your comments was super helpful to me.
Thank you for giving out your time and knowledge 🙏
my biggest problem is that I have no idea where to meet women, especially with the semester ending now and ill be home all the time. Any tips?
Sounds like some Coach Corey Wayne wisdom
“ always do what takes balls “
i love this
@@moistpotatoe5277 Read 3%man from Corey Wayne, in the book he explains where to go to meet women. In short, you go to meet women at places you can talk comfortably. The more public the place, the more in her guard she will be and it will be more diffiicult. The bar and clubs is a good place to find lots of beautiful women however it is not recomendable as women are probably just hanging around with their girlriends having fun, probably are too drunk to remember you, and some are actually not girlfriend material. YOu can also get too druk and say something stupid. The best place are weddings, family stuff, friend reunions, places where you know people that she knows. Why? because it makes her feel comfortable. somewhere you like or you spend most of the time, like an art gallery, at least you know you are both interested in the same subject.
I think this is excellent advice. I am longing for deeper conversations on dates, hearing the story of someone, and being honest about goals. I don’t want you to flex, I want to know who you are. I’m hopeful there’s men out there like this!
We no longer care. Women told us to F off and we did. This is pure entertainment for me. Like watching something burn and not giving a crap.
I dont believe you lol if a guy did this stuff you would think hes boring
Yes! Men in the comments will be disagreeing no matter how many women tell them otherwise but it's true. My long term ex was good looking, charming, sweet when he wanted to be but had low empathy/emotional intelligence and poor ethics. These are the things I now prioritise over looks and charisma.
@@stopdragginaround yea I’m sure women want these things, but the problem is that you are imagining yourself having these wonderful conversations with a man you are ALREADY attracted to. I.e. your dream guy. You are not imagining yourself having these deep conversations with a guy who you find yourself on a date with who is boring or not that attractive.
@@RFdaniel or a nice woman!
If someone has been through enough failed relationships to be tired of the fun part, that's not a good sign.
This is interesting information, if you can even make use of it. Men who aren't going full pick-up artist don't exactly have women lining up to go on dates with them, and when we do find someone to date, we want to know she's actually attracted to us instead of just using us for free dinner. I didn't see either of these two points addressed here
Did you kiss?
Was it hot?
Using you for free dinner!
Pick-up artists would make a good source of social security if this was every PUA's strategy. A financially troubled woman would be smart to take advantage of it. She could do that with the same man every night or a different man if he walks away and she has to find another one. If they use you, you use them back. You scratch my back and I'll scratch your's.
the dinner issue is an easy fix. choose a non dinner date. which you should be doing anyway-hard to imagine a worse early date activity unless you want to prove your beta provider bonafides.
@@onsidelegal1002My thoughts exactly, I thought it was a joke at first
People still do dinners??.... coffee in the first date cheap and fast to know if she is just a gold digger or could be taken serious.
if she does not accept coffee dates, move on she is not the one.
Will definitly watch the full episode. Loved what this guy said! He seems to be well down to earth.
Thanks for this guys!
One of the saddest things to happen to "red-pill" is the mixing of the medicine in the "manosphere".
such great content! thank you for that chris and adam!
Really good video, learnt a lot, thanks guys 🙏
GOD DAMN... I so needed to see this video. And so glad I did.
Wow. I’ve listened to a lot of dating videos and this has been one of the most powerful.
Yeah, this guy is 100% no BS. Everything was spot on, i'm impressed.
Doing what you know is different than a mistake. Who's to say something is wrong if they don't know what's right or wrong🤷🏽♀️. Communicate what you want, don't have expectations... Accept the person for who they are showing up as versus the person you have in your head. If they share the morals and values are supportive etc. Know that it'll take years for you to either grow together or apart. If your foundation is solid and honest, water it and build love together. If your dating with the end goal of life partners, let's talk about what comes along with that, everything! Communication is key, honest and raw communication.
I disagree with you about expectations. It's really "in" these days for people to simply easily say "don't have expectations" to avoid getting hurt, but this is just impossible. With everything in life, we know what you put in is what you get out. So if you are putting in effort, you EXPECT to be reciprocated. To say "i have zero expectations" is ridiculous. Perhaps you can't have huge expectations during the first few interactions, but at some point, you will and to me that is perfectly normal. If I hire someone to do a job, I expect it done. I think the conversation needs to shift about how high ones expectations are versus what they are providing. Most men have very low expectations from a woman. It's more women who have huge expectations and requirements from a man. The expectations themselves need to be evaluated, but not a lack of expectations. Imagine a woman who is a victim of violent crime saying "my man watched me get assaulted and didn't try to defend me, but I had no expectations so were all good." Realistic expectations based on the value you yourself provide is a better approach in my opinion.
@@Chris1000x expectations are thoughts, dont even hear them. act on needs, a need for love perhaps?
@@WitchOnABroomstick If someone can honestly channel out expectations from their mind, and it's not for a defense mechanism, then cool. I just think one will disappoint themselves as they will eventually develop expectations. It's subconscious.
@@Chris1000x Mhm, i agree its not easy indeed, empathic capacity is key here, only caring about needs and feelings first.
But reality is indeed different for alot of people, unfortunately. How wonderfull life can be. We all make choices and i try to be the change i want to see.
Selfless giving is one of the most enjoyable and fulfilling thing in life that humans can truly enjoy. 💚
Great talk! Love it 😊
This is great advice
The main thing guys and equally women should do when interracting with eachother is being honest. And I don’t mean plain verbal honesty but general expressive honesty. Sit for a while. Breath. Yes tell a story. Don’t overload everything with too much meaning, too many questions that swirl in your head. Don’t play games or hit targets. Do your best to be aware of yourself, your peer and have an actual conversation. Sometimes it’s better to say “hey I have no idea how to do this” than fake it till you make it mindset. There’s too much of that online. So a simple honest expression not charged with bullshit I believe always works. And yes fun is good. Always better than taking it way too serious.
What a REFRESHING thing to say!(from a woman)
Biggest mistake - listen to a random person on the internet.
like you?
Lol he isn't a random person tho
well, question is: does he have Real credibility???
how many women has he ever gotten in this entire life?
if he's someone who just married the first girl he dated (and that was like 20 years ago)
does he really know anything about the modern dating market? LOL
@@therearenoshortcuts9868 His tactics probably only works for mature women over 30.
Biggest mistake thinking too much of it, because it’s probably just a waste of time and money. Best of luck modern dating sucks.
very very good stuff
Dude! Thanks. Feel like this is stuff i used to intuitively know. But pursuing PUA stuff overrode this intuition. I have definitely felt that the PUA stuff has brought down the wrong track.
I'm pretty sure this guy has never been on a fourth date.
I doubt he even managed a second date.
Wow, Ive listened to a lot of dating coach advice and this really seems like solid advice. I like this guy.
Owen Cook is good too.
i think the hardest part about dating is getting a date. Once youre there stuff goes on its own. vibes do the rest. getting a date pretty much is how attractive you are and how likeable your personality is on first sight.
Agree 100%. Especially with dating apps.
No, the hardest part of dating is that once you’re on the date… the person is either trying to manipulate you or bore you… men for some reason can be genuine and honest and act like themselves until you are on a date with them…
@@ri-oj1ul but what do you expect if dates is a game of deceiving the other one, women use tons of make up and lie about many questions to try to show themselves "better" than they really are, and men do the same try to flex and brag about things they dont have or never did.... the first dates is that, showing your best part and try to minimize your weak points.
@@ri-oj1ul Maybe you just need to date better people?
@@joane24 bad coparisson, make up was used in teh beginning for prostitutes to attract their customers... the red color means fertility and hide the womens age, if not look all the amount of online videos with women that change completely with make up.... thats completely a lie a deceitful the same as plastic surgery, fake implants to appear thiner or bigger butt, etc.
cleaning and cutting your hair is normal, working out is normal , thats real you, make up is putting something over your , thats tottally different.... but well if you dont wanna see the difference ok do you , who cares.
believen thant cleaning and using make up is the same is just idiotic.
The last girl I was talking to actually told me the opposite of what he's saying. She said I focused on others too much and that I should talk about myself more and that she felt I always put the spotlight on others because of course I'd speak about my friends and family in a favorable manner.
You basically made the mistake of no. 1 and no.7. Sharing stories of other people's lives (even if they are closely related to you) doesn't tell your potential mating partner anything substantive about you.
@@YummyFoodOnlyPlz I was part of those stories. So instead of saying I was thinking about blah blah the other day I'd say my buddy josh and I were discussing about blah blah because that's the way it happened or about a trip to a nature reserve I'd taken with my friends. I grew up talking in a very me me me manner and have since then learnt not to do that.
@@shellshocktm I hear you. What I am saying is that, your delivery was not being understood by her even if you thought you did talk about yourself. She didn't get that message from what you said -- either she had issues comprehending or you had issues delivering. Either way, it is still up to you to decide if she is worth your effort to change your delivery to bring her to the same page.
@@UnimportantAcc tbh, your weightless soothing comment is really not helping the OP troubleshoot his problem.
@@shellshocktm just remember that anecdotal evidence doesnt make a science! one woman's perception doesnt need to alter anything if you have a good foundational balance. or, if shes worthwhile, you can listen, ask questions, and try to bridge the gap
the human brain has a tendency to act like a pendulum, you speak of being overly "me, me, me" earlier in life so perhaps you overcorrected and are overly "they, they, they" now. the "why" also matters, you say you "learned not to do it" but if you dont deeply know the "why" of not to do it then simply doing the opposite wont work. you dont speak exclusively about yourself because its self-centered, narcissistic, and not indicative of someone whose mind and heart will effectively navigate society, family, relationships etc. But, if you start to overly focus on others purely to benefit yourself and cast yourself in a certain light via association, that is merely another level of narcissism
all truth is found in the middle, its why buddhist philosophers called the path to truth the middle way. one needs to be able to hold 2 paradoxical truths in their head at once without flip flopping via black and white thinking and lacking any firm conviction. all brains have cognitive distortions, its up to you to learn how to navigate them in a nuanced manner and no one elses experience will ever perfect it for you
Fact that Chris with as much experience as you have with women do not push back against this highly misguided charlatan is very telling about your ability to handle real intellectual honesty and rigor.
What about him do makes you think he's a charlatan? I'm not here to debate, just wanted to know.
@@lionarar5981The OP's username is Troll University, so I'd steer clear of any advice they have to give.
You don’t like what he’s saying so you call him a charlatan? No wonder so many of you guys have trouble finding relationships, you won’t even listen to those who spell it out in plain English for you in a LIST.
Hey look I found a white knight who thinks he is a male feminist!
@Lion Arar you want to know for real. First everything he says about how to share your ambitions with women who you take on a date is 100% bad advice. Unless your goal is to not get laid and turn her off faster than Joe Biden when the hair on your legs dont stand up in the pool.
0:55 - I'd prefer to hear this line of thinking communicated more deeply than "if you're passionate about it, how could it be boring?"
One persons passion, genuinely communicated can definitely be boring.
Seems to contradict (7) - They share the wrong kinds of stories (9:46)
The biggest mistake I seem to make is not earning enough money... I love my job and I have ambitions but I'm never going to earn a fortune on this path. It's frustrating that is so important to women.
All this doesn't take into account the fact that a great deal of men *don't* have a goal in life and will not achieve anything great.
I think this should be context for commitment
this is good and legit,
Well, all I can say is good luck! Most women in their 20s don’t care about getting serious. Of course there are some women in the grey area who do want a serious relationship but that’s far and few in between. Marriage and family is put on the back burner these days. I know this guy means well but this information would only work on mature women, women 35+.
Nuh 28+ until early 40s.
who want +35 women for something serious??.
who would want to marry others leftovers?
Spot on
Oh right, I forgot about all those 20-year-old guys who are looking to settle down.
if I just need to meet the right woman once then I guess I have the rest of my life to meet her.
Excellent video Chris! Very insightful and changed the way I view dating
Better idea: Don't lower yourself to dating....
interesting...
there is dating, (hanging out with your high school crush when you are both 15-16)
and then there is "Dating" (clowning on the internet using an App when you are 30+ LOL...)
Only boomers still date.
Smith is at his best here in this cut / clip.
This is the same type of simp that will bring the girl for 'a dinner' in the first date 🤣
"I am tired of having fun I am ready to settle down now" lmao. Dude on the right looks like he is about to give me a lecture about how it's okay that his wifes boyfriend gets the weekends while he takes care of the kids.
In my opinion. People put expectations on their partner they can even uphold themselves. Like low body count, slim/fit, clean living.
And i think the attitude people have that im not going to be exclusive until i know we have a releationship is wrong. If you have a date on friday(and its monday). Then
dont have sex with other people before then. Be exclusive from the moment you agree to go on a date.
To piggyback the first point, lots of guys need to have a real world goal that a woman can see herself fitting into. Being delusional and having a goal of being the next Elon Musk doesn’t send the message you think it does.
It’s not social media exciting, but having a life goal of slowly/steadily progressing career and income wise while maintaining a good family and retiring comfortably with a nice 401k sounds pretty great to most quality women.
I saw a list of things to do to date a woman, and one of them was don't be unemployed. Like of course that's a giant red flag and negative. Who the fuck is unemployed and thinks women should want to fall over them?
@@luxurybuzz3681 That's why you are at the bottom of the pool. It's easy for men like us to trounce you. Because you fools don't even try.
@@luxurybuzz3681 Well we know where you’ll be in 10 years.
So basically, the secure man will treat his dates like job interviews.
The first date is very much a casual job interview. You gotta put your best foot forward the entire time.
@@SisterliskNo you gotta have fun. It's a date after all. A woman doesn't want to be with someone who isn't fun to be around.
The dude conflates being red pill aware with being a pick-up artist. These are two completely different concepts. Being red pilled means understanding female hypergamous nature, chasing excellence, maintaining frame, etc. Ghosting a girl for three days is just some dumb pick-up artistry. Do not mix concepts.
For men that don't know, it's possible to be a guy who is bangable (takes care of his appearance, confident, mysterious) AND also marriable (goal oriented, emotionally stable, good communicator). Once you become that, then it's just a matter of getting better at screening / analyzing women so you can differentiate the party girls from the relationship oriented girls. It's actually pretty simple... party girls rush things and relationship girls take their time with you. However, like Adam said in the video, if you're used to only dealing with party girls, you might perceive the relationship oriented girls as uninterested because they're not blowing up your phone and trying to rip your pants off from the get go. The good ones are out there but you have to be a good one first.
When was the last time this guy even went on a date?
Building a slide deck to showcase my value to her😮 Missing Rollo here: concepts such as genuine desire, long term security, spinning plates etc
Yolo Tomato 🍅 🤡
No one is missing Rollo the 🤡
People have had enough of Rollo, Roosh, and the other PUA gurus and their mechanistic “game” advice. Most of us-both men and women-are ready for something more authentic now.
Its crazy that some people would take any advice from internet and take it like doctors advice. Its just a discussion. He is making his points. It can create the conversation and stimulate different ideas. Dont just listen and copy bluntly anything people say on internet. Take a little bit, test in safe environment and make your own informed decision
I’ll take the dating coach. Please and thank you. 🤣 J/K!
My wife was just laughing at everything I said.. 17 years later dam I’m still there. Lol
Anyone can make themselves ten times more attractive if they become good conversationalists. The most attractive people can totally blow a date if they can't hold a conversation.
Yup.
Problem is, some of the advice that was given, sounds like the perfect antidote for "Attracting Gold Diggers" :(
I never understand how men with no gold keeps worrying about gold diggers. Which gold?
8 Things to do on a date
1. Don’t be ugly
2. Be taller than her
3. Don’t be unemployed
4. Have good hygiene
5. Agree with 90% of her political views
6. Deny knowing what red pill is
7. Wait for her to bring up sex
8. Pay for the date
Repeat 2 more dates….
Lmbo
This is unironically not bad.
Atleast four of those are not needed. Get out there more.
first 4 is like 90% of it
even then it only works like less than 10% of the time LOL
Amateur
100% yes
Nice
"What do you want?" ~ third date, my now wife.
Give her that and she will tell you, youre too much and get scared ...
60 % of the time, these tactics work every time!
Dude this guy is so right, take the advice!
1. Not being rich
2. Not being at least 6' 6" tall
3. Not looking like one of the 10 most handsome men on earth
salty balls
@@ChickFenwick chef( southpark) is that you?
4. Being redpilled dude
Walk down any street and you'll see ugly guys with a girl on his arm. The problem is with you. You can improve though so don't give up
be a 10 or go home :V
what this man has said, works with women 40+ who are interested in deep connections and long talks, for most of the other ones, if you do what he said, you will never get a second date.
What if I consider a fun conversation to be my love for lubricants or model railroads
They dont have to have an interest in those things but if you are passionate about them they will vibe with it. Of coarse if that is all you talk about they have trouble vibing but certainly drop that in. Also good to be aware of your surroundings and live in the moment, take observations of things that are happening around you comment on them. I know this can be difficult to do organically but it helps to Be aware you are are a mortal human that will die some day. Strangely, thinking about your mortality helps your natural self come out.
Great
I know, as a more self-aware woman now, that I attract what I am. If you are fake, you attract fake; if you are happy with yourself, you attract someone happy with themselves. We always attract our mirrors. The question is - who are you now and would you be ok with attracting the same person?
Never been on a date my entire life 😅
How old are you? Best advice I can give to fix that, and improve your life in general. Quit watching porn. That’ll boost you up by 100x. Don’t lie and say you don’t because clearly you do, a lot, since you haven’t gone on dates your entire life.
Good luck, you’ll get there!
How old are you? Dude modern dating is fucked.
As a woman this is so on point ! Thank you for that video
This idea that you have to have a mission and want to change the world in order to be loved and appreciated is not healthy. I'm all for self improvement and aspirations but I think most of us are ordinary people just trying our best to get through life, and most of the women we will talk to are as well. Let's take the pressure off a little hey?
Yeah the guy being interviewed is clueless.
Biggest Mistake men make is they dont vet for sexuaI attraction
Uh .. on who's part? As a guy, *why* would you date someone you don't want to sleep with?? For the w0man - sure, she'll use dudes for resources. *He* has to determine his own point of lost time / resources / returns.
@@wildomegamusic *If* you solely think the *only* reason a w0man would want you is because of your resources .. you'd be better off "renting" and hitting Pahrump, NV whenever you get an itch.
@@wildomegamusic I vet women who vet for resources.
Is that hard to do?
The problem is you guys go simping through the friend zone and don't understand the difference between that and dating. You can easily tell by kissing someone if there's chemistry or not. There's no reason to rush it any further than that. You can't really stay bitter about a situation in which you were just friends and not dating. You did that to yourself.
But yes, neediness is the biggest turn off (he kind of brushed that question off) 😬 Probably for men too.
"Hi. Who are you?" All you need to know, really.
My view is that Date #1 is Introductions, Date #2 is Deciding, Date #3 is Decided, and then you go from there.
the first point was so on point haha. its something i as a woman didnt realize until i heard it explained here and it exactly describes my boyfriend, who is the most attractive guy i have met so far
Lol
"who is the most attractive guy I have met so far"
SO FAR.
Don't forget guys... women never stop looking.
If you listen to women, they'll give away the whole game.
@@DPMusicStudio so far means until present time, i dont live in the future, stop making bullshit out of nothing. and if you think women end up marrying the most physically attractive guy they have ever met then you are mad crazy. we care for other things as well, a pretty face and body wont build me a family, its just something to look at. and on average men are looking more than women, stop kidding yourself.
This guy is living in 2005
This is spot on.. I would add that men need to learn to actively listen and be able to engage in meaningful dialogue, not just tell stories.
I’ll tell you - telling the woman the details about what went wrong in their last relationship in the first five minutes of our first phone call. It’s a complete attraction killer yet it happens all the time.
When I got out of my comfort zone and started getting to know a girl I liked, I messed it up because I didn't know what to do, so I just sat down with her shoulder to shoulder uninvited and she must have thought that was really awkward since she left a few minutes later without a word. Later when I started talking with her again a month or so later when she seemed to be interested again, I messed up again by unconsciously kinda lovebombing cuz I got anxious/insecure that she was going to leave again. Well, she left anyways.
I have definitively learnt alot from this experience and won't make the same mistakes again.
'trying to please mom and you'll only come across avoidant women who will eventually dump you'
Wow, summing up my relationship with my ex fiancé...Im starting to see that's what I was doing
Number 1 big mistake, going on the date in the first place.
Just deleted all my dating apps. Probably won't be going on a date for a while...
This is a little bit of a straw-man of what red pill is.
I disagree with the second last, as I find it’s important to listen for moral intentions rather than stating as some agree falsely to appear more appealing. Everything else #💯
Exactly. make some effort, but don't try too hard and seem needy. contact her but, don't contact her too much. Use the force Luke. I already have my family but I feel so bad for younger men trying to date today. Modern dating advice reminds me of the Sphinx from Mystery Men: He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions.When you care what is outside, what is inside cares for you. To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn. You must be like wolf pack, not six-pack.
Yea 3 and 4 kind of contradict themselves. You can’t wait 3 days because you’re playing games but you can’t text right away because you’re to needy. Bro what? 😂Also one and two, contradict themselves. You can’t be to shy but you also can’t be to confident 😂Just be mediocre lmao fuck that. To many rules. Go with the flow and if it feels good it’ll go well if it don’t feel genuine than who cares, more fish in the sea.
So, this would have been "ok" like 10+ years ago. It would work because a lot of this advice would be helpful to low status/low leverage men. Now? Wrong unless you are dating an older woman who has run out of options. Nowadays you are most likely going to meet a woman who at least gave you a shot against other men so in a way you at least have a decent foot in the door because she already had to kick out a bunch of other men as options. If you are dating a woman with options (ie: she uses social media/apps which is almost every person, let alone woman) you pretty much have to do what "Workout with Wayne" said (I disagree with 5-7) in the comments down there.
Basically as a man you probably no longer have the luxury of a smaller dating pool with less competition vs other men like our predecessors had. You have to be taller and wealthier than other men in a MUCH larger dating pool (your city, sometimes the entire country and rarely even the world); if you are on a date you probably already passed most of these thresholds. Maintain your advantage. Do not ever mention difficulties in economics unless the ending of the story is how you overcame them (that actually can turn women on/make them like you more). Additionally if they ask about money, if you travel, your hobbies etc they are trying to figure out (even if sometimes they aren't aware themselves) your wealth, your ambition and your potential. That's fine, you don't have to cross them off as a "gold digger," (almost)all women like money just like all men like youthful women who are beautiful. What you have to look for is if they have a good narrative in their lives. In other words what do they plan to do with themselves, the relationship and the money? Do they want to use it to build a family, take care of children, invest towards the future or do they just want to suck you dry (and not in a fun way)?
The majority of your initial appeal will be determined by your height, your wealth and your looks; mostly in that order unless you are exceptional (95%+ percentile) in the last category. You'll initially get filtered by height then compared in wealth with other men and your looks are your cherry on top. If you don't make it, do not despair a lot of this was out of your hands the moment your parents had sex. Once you know each other for longer that's when your personality starts to play a role.
If you are low in height you are going to have to work harder when it comes to wealth, a lot harder and find women in real life since you'll be filtered out of apps regardless. If you do not meet the height threshold (it's 6'2'' for 72% of women and like 6' for 56% of them) then you want to favor finding women in real life in places like church, hobbies, golf courses, etc.. Same thing if you are of average income (30-50k), you want to go to smaller pools where you can compete against other men of similar status. Generally speaking this isn't a great position to be in because we live in a world where a lot of men are easily replaceable if they are just average. A better man is (in theory, but often not in reality) a right swipe away. Best of luck!
Those are all excuses. Instead of cultivating a personality and accomplishing goals in life, you complain. How do you type of people not see that those character traits make you stink? Stop being lazy.
found the pickup artist
Friendly reminder that weighing your options is the smart thing to do, especially when choosing a life partner. Would you pick the 450 lbs woman who’s 21, a virgin, and religious or the 120 lb woman who’s 28, a body count of 4, leans conservative but is not particularly religious? There are clear pros and cons, and refusing to take them into account is the definition of stupid.
A LONG stream of excuses for why "Nothing works". It sounds like you want a "high quality woman"--HOW IS THAT DEFINED?--ie a STATUS SYMBOL for you EGO--NOT a human being you could actually relate to!!!!
"your height, your wealth and your looks" These features don't matter to women as much as you think it does. Looks are about 20% of what makes a woman attracted to you and want to date you. Height is relative to her, you mostly just need to be slightly taller than her. The average looking guy who always seems to get female interest, well he's a smoothie, a natural with women because he understands what women want. I'm 5' 8" skinny and very successful with women all my life.
EW no i dont want a woman whos "had her fun"
I'm just a single man in NYC, looking for a woman that communicates, reciprocates effort, and wants a serious relationship (hopefully long term). It is very disappointing that I have not met one woman that meets all three of my criteria. And I haven't even gotten into to the "nice to haves", such as willing to do physical activities together (bicycling, hiking, ping pong, etc.) So having sex by the first 3 dates is not even a priority for me. I have to actually like the woman before I want to have sex with her.
Better than generic advice, but not by much. Most of these mainstream coaches get it wrong. Men shouldn’t be trying to “get the woman”. They should be screening them out. They need to be masculine (oops woke police), confident, fun, and willing to walk away. And if a man asks for commitment after three dates, she’s gonna run from most guys who aren’t tall, good looking, and highly successful.
this is the insecure women he was talking about. yes those will dip after hearing about committment after 3 dates if those requirements you mentioned aren't met
You guys are having dates?!
Nope we don't
some but they don't go anywhere useful...
good women are taken fast and young
all that's left after 25 is damaged women, uninterested women, fat women, and scammers
does Adam Lane Smith get a lot of women???
if not, why should he give advice? LOL
I'm meeting a girl, we had 2 dates already. Right on time.
Anu updates
Bruh this is like getting “Where’s Waldo” advice from a blind man
As a woman, I think these are great tips!
Refreshingly good advice, for this type of channel. Enough of the games-everybody is sick of them; and they don’t even work anymore!
See marriage might seem that it’s harsher on women, but divorce is evidently a lot harder on men
Rock Solid Premarital Agreement.
What the guest never mentions is that most of these women are in their late 30s- early 40s and who have realized that their best years are behind them.
Now their dream man is unattainable and they’re willing to settle.
I got a better idea walk away from them and save everything you got.
Disagree with the entire notion that all these women are insecure. Alot of it is they are attracted to what man and dont care what he says. People heavily underestimate attraction. Its not always insecurities
" and dont care what he says"- this is the smoking pistol of someone without self-respect.
If a woman is compromising on her standards, her boundaries, her safety, her comfort etc. (or has none entirely) that is a sign of insecurity and self-harming compliance. Are you able to perceive insecurities in women as easily as you perceive their attraction? Or does your sexual attraction to them bias you towards ignoring their insecure behavior in favor of their attraction?
Is it plausible you are trying to rationalize to yourself and youtube why you've made predatory connections in the past? I've done it, most guys have done it, and hell most women have enjoyed it to some degree, especially those who were insecure and desperate. That doesn't mean it's a good strategy for personal development or long-term relationships. You can't fuck your way out of a cluster-b personality trait.
@@InsanitysApex fuck and cluster, I love those B’s
No, he's right. Insecure women have poor boundaries and fall prey to love bombing. Nerdy "nice guys" can be just as good at this as anyone, as I unfortunately had to learn the hard way, with a certain individual.
This comment demonstrates that you lack self-awareness and need to get to work on yourself and your goals & values.
@@InsanitysApex nah. People dont take inconsideration of human emotions. Im not going to call a woman insecure for doing what she wants. If you are saying a woman cannot confidently have sax with a man you just lack understanding of humans
Cant even get a date