Had a girl on a first date accuse me of being insensitive when I ordered a meat entree after learning she was vegetarian. Like I'm going to change my eating preference on date #1? And when I suggested that if she thought that strongly about it she should only date vegetarian guys I was accused of being arrogant. NEXT!
Yeah man thats whack for sure, you should have asked her if she wanted to try your dish LOL. Ive been a couple dates with vegetarians and they did not care if I ordered meat, and she ended up being really cool
**pulls out armchair psychologist notebook** 1. Forcing her beliefs and expecting you to change. 2. Not taking criticism and reacting poorly to a simple matter of fact solution. 3. To top it off, the third and major projection of her own arrogance.
@@thatHARVguy Yes, the irony and hypocrisy was not lost on me. No great loss as this girl had an inflated opinion of herself in other areas also and was a bit of a prissy-missy- no great surprise!
@@jessecarlson9529 No living being no matter how their crotch is shaped can be “the prize”. You’re a person. Your life exists to fulfill achievements; not be an achievement. Such a mentality is so subjective and insecure it’ll literally make you throw your actual potentials away. Guys been doing it for generations, girls been doing it for generations, and look where it got us. A world where for both sexes, both attempted and successful suicide attempts are the highest in both recorded and theoretical history; both men and women practically sleep-talk their rampant discontentment with dating culture; and antidepressants are taken every day by droves of the population. Nobody’s “the prize”. You sound like a burden however by claiming to be such, on a video from a dating advice UA-camr. You wouldn’t be here if that were the case, because you and your “prize” self would be in a long-term relationship worthy of being published due to its great rarity in the modern world. Humble yourself. It’s how you’ll be in a place to notice and be desirable to women who’ve either already done the same, or are ready to finally do the same.
I believe the comparison between cocky and confident is a lot like comparing arrogance to wisdom. Confidence, like wisdom, is almost always gained through experience. The more you do something, the more confident you are at doing it. Where as cockiness, like arrogance, mostly comes from a place of insecurity. Where a person needs to exaggerate any accomplishment to make them look good. Cocky people simply lack humility.
Agree completely. I also think confidence can come through understanding your vulnerabilities (your shortcomings, what you lack, where you'd like to get better). And it takes a good degree of humility to recognize one's vulnerabilities and work on them or accept them. Someone whose cocky may feel the need to overcompensate and project an image of themselves for others approval whereas most people can understand that we're all flawed, we all have our insecurities but we can still choose to be confident in ourselves. Like you said a lot of that comes from experience.
Late to this party, but will comment: "cocky" men are simply unattractive to such women. At work, I've found I have to be careful about expressing my confidence, even as I know what I"m doing, because my lack of physical attractiveness turns off the women who think I'm supposed to "be in my place" or "stay in my lane" even if I'm an expert on that matter or justified in what I'm saying while a "confident" man who attractive can be full-of-it but she's swooning over him and she'll buy whatever he's selling. They then gripe "ALL men are liars!" because they get turned on by hot guys who lie to them. As I've matured and become more confident about my skillsets and knowledge, I'll know pretty well how to express it and sometimes it's a total bluff. Arrogance can oftentimes be mistaken for confidence via the Halo effect, knowing how to read people, and so on. I wish I could have advised my 21 year old self on what I know now. People are mistaken for "cocky" when they either get caught, or don't have the looks to pull it off. A $300 suit helps a lot.
You should do a Mens version of this video. Believe me, guys can talk endlessly about the BS we have to endure in meeting and dating women. All the hard work and BS, only to face a 50% chance of being served with divorce papers if you marry
here's my take on cussing: If it's coming from a place of passion, and the person cussing is being creative and witty with their custom-tailored, original phrases, it can be very entertaining, and intense in a good way. If anger, resentment, frustration, etc. are the cause of it, then it feels like witnessing a 20 car pile up.
I have to agree with some of my fellow viewers. Cussing used in the right context enhances what you're saying. Too much it loses it's emphasis and becomes a crutch.
As someone who used to cuss, I don’t like it. Once I stopped and heard other people cuss around me, I realized how aggressive people sound. I have however found more creative and wholesome ways to express certain emotions.
What would be super interesting is to ask these same questions to some older women in your life and compare the responses to see if these things are consistent across the age ranges
That would be true and i always look at a woman ability to not only get a man but keep one for a long period of time. If i listen to female relationship advice; i rather listen to good women like Courtney who have had a relationship for a long time. I thought some of the ladies had good points here and there
@@Filthy_Larry hey it is not polite to assume bad things about people you don't know man. It's ok if you don't like what she says but please don't go there with the insults. Show her the same respect she would show you.
Speaking of vocabulary a turn off for guys, or at least for me, is a girl who says "like" with every other word and talks like a valley girl! Thanks Courtney for talking with some coherence and being an example for other girls to do so also! -Morgan
On the confidence vs. cockiness thing - Women absolutely can be attracted to Cockiness. Especially if there is already some attraction there a bit of "swagger" can hack her hypergamy as you are basically saying to her "I believe I'm so high value I don't have to respect you so walk if you want to as I have other options". It's the "bad boy" dynamic at work basically. And what happens? She gets the "tingles"! The basic point is what a woman likes (comfort) and what she is attracted to (sexual desire) are two different things. A woman's overall attraction is the sum of these two components, desire and comfort. You can think of them like a see-saw. Cockiness, negging, flirting with other women, going cold etc. all play on this balance- by withdrawing comfort you can boost desire. In a more extreme case its a male dom/fem sub dynamic. Taken to the absolute extreme it's an abusive relationship. You'd find the reverse with a "nice guy" dynamic or worse a sexless marriage (all comfort - no sexual desire). That's why "dread game" can be used to raise a woman's libido in an LTR. Many men consciously or subconsciously employ components of "dread" to maintain their partners libido. Done properly it's not manipulation but maintaining a healthy marriage! You can also think of it framed in RP concepts such as "Alpha F*cks, Beta Bucks". Sexual Desire vs. Comfort. So Cockiness? Women don't LIKE it, so they talk about it negatively (or not at all) - but they absolutely can RESPOND to it - and the response is often a boost in desire. One can even argue that because women know consciously or subconsciously that they can be manipulated by it - that's why they don't like it! It reveals a truth about women they don't like to admit or want men to know.😉
Let's take a moment to appreciate the effort of the workers earning their keep in the background. And also all the ladies for not getting distracted by the noise.
I recently broke up with my ex and what's fun is that you have touched most of the issues we had in just one video. I tried my best to be interested in what she was doing, to the extent of losing connection with friends, and in return she didn't want to do anything I like and preferred spending all her free time with her friends rather than doing something with me. The hardest part is that now that we broke up, she has still her friends while I am trying to rebuild all the friendship I had to leave while staying with her... But at least I have learnt what I don't want in my life.
You gave her too much of you and turned her off. Don’t make that mistake again. Maintain your friend groups whilst in relationships. Have other things to do also so you cannot give a girl too much of your time.
@Evidence Based Health It's more complicated than that. you need to understand hypergamy and not judge women too harshly for operating in a way that best protects them. It is what it is. A man who gives a woman too much of himself is basically saying he's got nothing better to do with his time. No better options. Anything given freely and in large amount has low value. His friends are low value too if so easily given up. Plus you give up something low value for something high value. So SHE'S high value in his mind and HE'S not. He's chasing her. Hypergamy dictates she wants a man at the same or higher value than herself. So she is TURNED OFF by a guy who sacrifices too much of himself. What's the solution? Career first, maintain friend groups, have hobbies that don't include her. Date her yes, a couple of times a week. Limit communication between dates. DO NOT GIVE HER TOO MUCH OF YOU. Gold is valuable because it is scarce. Now you are demonstrating high value! and if the relationship ends, congrats, you've still maintained all those other areas of your life to fall back on. And indeed those demonstrate high value for the NEXT GIRL!
Yeah, don't give everything up for someone. Maintain ur boundaries. U shouldn't have to destroy bridges, or hobbies to be with someone. If u end up with that type of woman, bounce.
There are several characteristics that differentiates cockiness vs Confidence 1) "Fake it until you make it" vs Accept and build: Cocky ppl feel they have to overcompensate because they feel being themselves isn't good enough. Confident ppl are aware of their insecurities and strive to work on them and know that being themselves is a gift to the world. Confident ppl don't need to "prove" anything to anyone, they just are. 2) Arrogance vs Humble: Cocky ppl think they are above others and it shows by how they treat others poorly. Confident ppl know everyone is dealt a different set of cards however there are ways to improve and help others every chance they get. 3) A fixed mindset vs a growth mindset: Since cocky ppl are arrogant (i.e. they think they know everything and they are perfect) they are closed off to new ideas/challenging old beliefs even if their own beliefs hinder their life. Even though Confident ppl have a good sense of self, they are open to discussion of new ideas and are willing to let go of beliefs that no longer serve them. I hope recognizing the difference helps you in choosing to be confident and becoming the best version of yourself.
Every time these come out I have to instantly wash them because I just enjoy good conversations with thought out answers. It's rare to see these in the UA-cam space nowadays so thank you.
This was a wonderful perspective the ladies gave us Courtney. You should do a video on things women can do improve on things too so it becomes more balanced energy on dates/interactions. I personally don't mind cussing as long as it isn't excessive in public spaces. My family can be very energetic and they cuss so if my partner did; it won't be a problem. I do think we should have some hobbies in common just because it makes it easier to talk to eachother. Overall, i enjoyed today's content. I wish you a lovely day ♥️
I'm in the UK and I'm just gonna say that we need more women like Courtney and these girls around for the men who are serious about self improvement and actually want long lasting healthy relationships. Courtney, if you can please reach more women out there to show them that this is the way to find healthy relationships!
@@Numbll well i certainly care about those things, but id say thats rare for guys my age...but also for girls my age too tbh. Most people just wanna drink, do drugs, sleep around and generally "be young" which isnt something im remotely into🤷♂️
@@Numbll Yeah sure, we are similar to the men in the US and to be honest, just like all the men in the West in general, I'd even say globally. A lot of the men in the UK, specifically in London which is where I'm based want to have someone to wind down with from the fast paced lifestyle that is in the city. I'm talking on behalf of myself now, since everyone is different but I strongly resonate with this. I'm in a job role where there is a lot of fast moving parts and as I'm now moving into management, it's getting even faster, I work out, have been studying myself and improving myself to be the best man I can be, chipping away the old patterns and replacing them with new, healthier ones. Now when it comes to seeking women, of course, you need to meet a lot of them to see what works for you, that isn't code for sleep around; I genuinely mean talking, going out, going on dates, sharing each other's company together, if things progress then great, if not, then you know it wasn't meant for you. I can give more insight but I'd rather you ask something more specific so I don't go off on a tangent haha
@@Altairego I don't know where to start asking but, I'm interested to know how British culture works. I'm going to study abroad in the UK this year or maybe next year. I want to know how people date and have friends there. Also, I want to hear any insight you can give me, I'm ready to read it.
Thank you for providing this information. I feel like many of us guys never understand why a new connection ends abruptly when it seemed to be going well. Much of the time we do not receive feedback on how we are perceived. Learning the do's and do not's of meeting a potential partner will allow us to avoid the instant turn-offs so that we have a better opportunity to show who we are under the surface.
I had a girl come to a first date high as fuck. Then when she took out her driver's license to show the bartender she dropped it and it took her a long time to pick it up. I was so embarrassed.
I had a few girls tell me im cocky when I believe im just confident . Its weird if im too subtle im unconfident , if im super open and confident im cocky 😂😂🤦
Oh yes the girls are back these girls are queens they are funny too I’m glad you brought them back bring them back for more videos I appreciate their advice 💯
Confidence is in the eyes. Thanks we enjoy it. Self esteem is rare theses days. As you stated Courtney social media gives anybody a chance to be who they aren't not.
Just some input on the friends not liking a person you are dating. I've experienced instances in my past that sometimes a friend only has their own relationship with you at heart and is afraid of loosing you as a friend or getting less of your time. (both men & women) They will interfere with a relationship because they get less of your time and are jealous that you are spending more time with someone else. So be aware, not in every instance will a friend have your best interests at heart. It may be their own fear of losing time with you. Seen it in both men and women.
As I have become older (and now retired) my cursing/swearing has greatly diminished from what it used to be, and if I am in a mixed crowd, then George Carlin's "Seven Words You Can't Say on Television or Radio" (that shows my age) stay locked far far away. Someone pointed out to me years ago that using constant bad/obscene/vulgar language shows a lack of class/maturity/education. I don't know if that still holds true in this day and age but I still follow it for myself. That's not to say I don't do it at all; I still throw out the occasional "S" or "D" word, maybe the "F" word depending whether I'm alone or with a couple of long time guy friends. I also have a theory that language usage is connected to age. The older we get, the better handle we have on using it. I had to chuckle at the ladies responses to the question, because I could tell they knew their answers could be hypocritical.
Even though I've never had a first date, I would say my biggest turn-offs from a woman would be: didn't clean herself up much, wears too much makeup, is late for the date, she's rude, on her phone at any point, cares if I'm vaccinated or not, expects me to pay instead of me just offering to pay.
I love when you gather this group of girls' opinions! Only suggestion is having a more diverse mix (age, country, etc) just to see if a consensus is had across a broad group. Either way - always great content Courtney Ryan!
@@bibbityboppityboo1206 Good point - not that I understand why older men want younger women. I can’t see myself going after a 20 something year old - just seems odd. 30+ yes - women not girls. Bit this coming from a 40 year old.
The biggest mistake on first dates is staying at one location for too long, you either need to go somewhere new or just end the date early. I've never had success with hunkering down in one place for a really long time, that seems to bore women.
Oh wow... Wowtastic lesson... This lesson was Just what the doctor ordered as to what women likes and not... Tnx for sharing this dear... Gams from Srilanka... Sending hugs your way... 🤗❤️❤️
Cussing is a big habit of mine. Being in the military and from a family of criminals does not help lol It never even occurred to me that cussing could be such a big deal. Glad someone brought this up.
Before any of you men decide to listen this... They have the friend guy They have the food guy They have the fun guy And they have the guy that comes over after
Ah this is perfect timing as I have a first date coming up this weekend! lol It'll be the first date I've gone on since my breakup, so I'm def a little nervous, but she seems like a really sweet girl, so fingers crossed haha. Thanks Courtney!!
@@jleano609 we’re both real into the outdoors so there’s this awesome park she had mentioned wanting to go to, so we’re gonna go shop first and get stuff for a picnic. I’m def looking forward to it just hope it’s nice weather this weekend lol Then I think we’re going to the drive in movies after
@@zacharyball3055 Picnic is a great first date - v casual and low investment. Drive in movies after? That's a lot. You shouldn't give her too much of you on a first date. Movies can be awkward, especially if you haven't crossed the physical touch barrier first as sitting next to someone you like without touching is kind of weird. How firm is the movie plan?
When a female has lots of friends especially guy friends, that's a signal she might slept with one of them and it's true!! You see them asking her who's he? what he does? They test to see if the guy gets in bad mood ECT ECT.
Question for the host of the video what should a guy do when he knows his girlfriend friends are trying to ruin a good relationship out of jealousy what should he do.
He should definitely bring up how his girlfriend friends are making him feel. The longer you don't say something about their behavior; this will be a problem. She can talk to them about this. They should respect that you are with her. Tell your girlfriend "Hey your friends are cool and all but when they do _______ it makes me uncomfortable" If your girlfriend really cares about you; she will address and her friends will fall in line
As far as the "what would you do if your friends dont like your partner" part, I think friends and family can easily give bad or the wrong advice. My older sister has told me many situations of her friends doing just that. Personally, I find it strange to assume everyone you like are going to automatically click and become instantaneous friends. Also, as a guy there seems to be this unhealthy thing when you meet the friends, like they're judging you and then when you leave they'll give or not give their approval to the person you're seeing. TV shows do this a lot. And it's annoying because unless you are doing something very inappropriate or rude, what the hell does a friend's opinion matter??
I strongly disagree with the lady in stripe saying that "confident men wouldn't be jealous or worried if their partner was messing around because they have confidence in themselves". Wrong. Upon finding out that he has been cheated on, would have the "confidence" to immediately break up and knows he can find someone else.
I actually think you misunderstood what she was saying. I think she was actually referring to insecurities rather than being okay with cheating. Based on how I understood it, she's not wrong. A confident man won't be constantly assuming he's being cheated on.
@Evidence Based Health I don't disagree that her logic is flawed in what a cocky man is. I also am not sure why she would have chose those examples. Either way, my comment was mostly to point out the original poster's misunderstanding of what she said.
Listen to friends' opinions ... they know you ... they know your values PLUS they're not as emotionally / hormonally connected as you. So if they see warning signs ... pay attention. Don't get defensive. Pay attention and love your friends' input. We all get over-run and blinded with emotions. Cocky can be a difficult one though. Confidence and cocky are often both based on proven capabilities but without a sense of trying to compete with anyone else. (i.e. confident and cocky can be confused). Arrogance is "usually" based on a negative aspect in that it puts other people down. The intent should be to BUILD people, not tear them down.
Id LOVE to date LinaE she is incredibly insightful and CONFIDENT in herself plus she's beautiful as they all are. I just love the way she handles herself!
@8:00 my first date turn off is when date is always late as well... I hate it when girls are always late cause it feels like my time isn't important to them. For a first date if she is late I would usually give benefit of the doubt, especially if they are pretty, but if it keeps happening it'll turn into a red flag. @10:26 bit of a detour, but have to put it out there. I hate it when partner wants to introduce you to friends right away. Lots of the girls I have dated wanted to introduce me to their friends after 3-5 dates. Like we just gotten to know each other, and are still getting to know each other. It's too early! Wait until you are together together and 1-2 months after that. I'm dating you, not your friends. I want you to decide to be with me, not your friends.
@@CourtneyRyan like today for my route I brought four different coats and several towels, one is tucked into my driver seat so that I can stay dry, as my goal today is survive and not catch a cold
I disagree. I have no backup plan because I believe in going all in. If you have a backup plan you will not be truly committed. Yes of course if things don't do according to plan it's only then I will try something different.
Im 50, snd listening to the confidence and cocky examples literally opened the floor and my previous life relationship effort BREAKDOWN MISTAKES has hit me like a TONNE OF BRICKS. IVE been a prick . ARrrGGGGHHHHhhhhhh Thank You GIRLS KULDIP Male, Birmingham, UK
I just wonder...how many of these girls have the traits that they look for in a man? Seriously...I wouldn't ask for someone to do something that I'm not willing to do or are not doing.
That's kinda the point of a woman looking for a male partner is to find someone willing to do things she wouldn't or can't do (and of course intercourse).
@@billybobthekidiswack no I know that. I'm just saying that these girls, rightfully so, have these standards. But are they willing to meet the standards of men?? Put in the work and changes??
I feel that videos like these really help dudes figure out what they like or dislike in women. It showcases a good variety of female personalities. Thanks! 🙏
The problem is how authentic are these responses? For example, ask women what they watch on TV and you get a lot of responses like the news, documentaries, sports, etc. but then the Nielsen ratings come out and said demographic is apparently mostly watching Bachelorette, Real Housewives, and Keeping up with Kardashians and not the things they claim to watch most often. In other words when you ask people questions like these they tend to give the "right" answers and not the truth for whatever reason.
I think the only authentic and most honest answers came out of the question about cussing. I cuss up a storm in isolation or with the guys, but what's been said in the video is true, know your audience. All the other questions that were answered are questions that have been answered 90% the same way over and over and over again, yet we are still asking them today as though it's still a mystery as to what men and women want in relationships....
Other than having a UA-cam channel, what are you into? Do you have any hobbies? What movies do you like? Do posses a inner geek? When was the last time you used profanity or got pissed off at anyone? When was the last time you got drunk? Have you ever got into a physical fight? What was the uncharacteristic thing you ever done? I know you have a Livestream where people ask you questions but I missed that video. Sorry for bombarding you with stupid questions but I'm just curious. Have a good day...
You know how when you Google a single word, most commonly you get the dictionary definition as a result? When you Google, "Confidence", you are met with a plethora of articles advertising that they can help you become more confident. I discovered this a while ago while trying, unsuccessfully, to pinpoint just what it means to be confident. So, while it was a bummer not getting the answer I wanted, it also reassured me that the quest to understand confidence is a very common struggle
Confidence is a perception someone has of a person who is courageous. Courage is acknowledging doubt and fear of an unknown outcome, and taking action anyway.
With the hobbies: I've had multiple situations where the woman I was dating were jealous of the women in my social groups. (Crossfit, Acroyoga, latin dancing, ninja warrior) Most of my free time is spent at these events and activities, eventually any woman is going to be curious what their partner is doing. Multiple times the current woman, storms off or throws a fit, because the women in athletic/ active groups often tend to be attractive. The last woman to pull this was 28 years old. That's why I'm done dating women who do not enjoy fitness activities on their own, I was so embarrassed. With the friends and family not liking your partner, I have three break-ups that come to mind. Two of them, when I had to leave for military duty friends convinced the lady to go out for a weekend, subsequently noting that it was okay for them to cheat on me because "all military guys cheat when they are sent on duty." Which does happen, but I have never, partially because I've been in all male units for most of my career, far more common for the spouse who has suitors available to sleep with, to cheat. Coincidentally both of those "girl weekends" resulted in a drunk call or a message saying "I know you've been cheating my, guess what i just F* some random guy." I'm not perfect, I've slept with a few men's wives who were out of town on a "girl's weekend" admittedly a few of them I knew were married before we had sex. The third listened to her child's father who didn't see it as appropriate that his son thought another man could be stronger than his father.
Solid friends group right there. The blonde with the striped shirt has an awesome personality...They all seem really cool, but something special about her.
I'm thinking about the friend not liking partner part. Should listen to your friends but don't let your friends make the decisions for you. They might see something that you don't in your partner. But also you might see something that they don't and they could have their own prejudices as well and they might not like them but that's why he's not dating them lol he's dating you and you aren't them. So listen and take notes but make your own decision
I like the friends one. My ex wife was a partier. Her friends (male and female) were also easy and out for a good time. I wanted my new wife to improve her friend circle. She said I was controlling and dictating her social life. She did go out and cheated on me. I found out after we split.
Courtney, I'm sitting here watching this vid and I'm wondering "why do I like this vid more than I like all the others?" It's the soft classical music in the background. Fantastic idea!
Love your channel, I would like to add some food for thought to the question, what if your friends don't like your partner/mate? Unfortunately very often the reason that your friends might not like your partner/mate is because they are only getting one side of the relationship story, the side from you. I have found that unless you are in the relationship you are not qualified to give relationship advice because you just don't know the entire story. Sometimes, the best advice is no advice. Unfortunately it would seem that quite often women look to their female friends for advice which even though well intended may be incorrect or misguided.
THIS VIDEO IS SO HELPFUL. It cleared a lot of confusion I had about girls. I am almost embarrassed to realize that girls aren't really as complicated as I thought to be.
You are right - women are not that complicated. You just need to understand their primary mating strategy, Hypergamy. Once you do, WITHOUT JUDGEMENT, all becomes clear.
There have been studies done that show people who swear more actually have bigger vocabulary’s and also tend to be more honest! But I understand not doing it in specific situations!
Women can tell all they want about what they want or what they find attractive vs. turn offs, but the truth is that, as a man, you've already been prejudged. If you're just a regular guy, she's not attracted to you and you can do all the right things that she said she was attracted to but it won't matter. However, if you're Chad or Tyrone, you can do all the things she described as a turn off and she'll still sleep with you soon after you meet.
There's way too much that women expect out of men for dating that it just doesn't seem worth it. It's way too much to try to fix about me that I just don't see the point anymore.
I’m going to disagree with the super modern idea that you should be holding your friends and your wife/husband/romantic partner to the same standing in the priority realm. You SHOULD be placing your wife (or woman you’re hoping to wife) as a priority over non-romantic friendships, and it’s actually bad if you’re not doing that. Now to clarify, obviously your wife and friends hold the same value as human beings, but with respect to priority in YOUR responsibility, friendships come second.
Maybe I should send this video to my estranged wife. These women understand that you can have different interests and still show interest in your partner.
For those wondering, the difference between confidence and cockiness is if she finds you attractive or not. If she wants you, that means you are confident. If she doesn't that means you are cocky.
I don’t know man. Can make a joke a lot funnier used carefully, and I know plenty of mature girls who love being complimented every once in a while with a funny “gah daaamn” at the beginning or end 😂 but, used nonchalantly and freely like it’s nothing, I wholly agree with your grandfather.
Can you make a video about guys without social media? I’ve got really mixed feelings from women from strong and independent to borderline sex offender creepy. When I say no social media I mean, I only have call and text available in my social life
Your channel is very helpful, not only in the fact that it gives you dating advice if you are single but also it keeps dating life with a partner fresh and exciting. I listen to your videos everytime I have dead time to kill and I even did a full workout listening to your channel. Kind regards from Romania keep up the good work
@Evidence Based Health you’re confusing confidence with arrogance. When a confident guy asks a girl out, he expects both results and is happy with them. Personally I’m shy around girls so even if I do get rejected, I still feel proud of myself because I’m putting myself out there and challenging myself in what is a difficult situation. In other words, I’m going out of my comfort zone, and I’m proud of myself for doing that even if I don’t get the girl. An arrogant guy will feel offended if he gets rejected because he feels that he didn’t do anything wrong, and will show his true colors in this situation. Also confidence is something you gain, while arrogance is born out of insecurities. In short, confident people don’t care about being rejected because they know that they can improve on what went wrong and just talk to another girl. Arrogant people instead refuse to improve their problems and believe that it’s always the other person’s fault for being rejected.
@Evidence Based Health but you’re still missing the point. Being arrogant means “I’m better than you”. Being confident means “I’m proud of myself”. Your opinion and logic is flawed because you are using the term interchangeably. The reason you are thinking this is because many people confuse arrogance with confidence and use the term improperly. Confidence is gained by challenging yourself and setting goals. By doing this you feel proud for yourself for having a list of both short and long term goals. Also, you’re saying “naturally confident man” as if confidence is an innate behavior some are born with. Again, confidence is gained, no one is born with it. You’re also stating that how many women a guy has slept with is an indication of his confidence. While this is true In many cases, women don’t care how many other women a man has slept with. You’re also stating that the only way a man can show he’s confident is by having many past experiences with women. Again, this is false. Subconsciously, women are able to pick up on confident traits based on body language and how they react to what a woman is saying and doing in a conversation. In my experience it sounds to me you’ve had experience with arrogant, not confident men. The reason I am saying this is because you are stating that you believe confident men actually boast about their success in the past with women. It shows he’s trying to prove something. A man who is actually confident in himself doesn’t do this because he knows he can attract women with his confident personality. Him saying how many girls he slept with gives an arrogant impression. Overall I believe you have the definitions mixed up. Again, I will say that you’re confusing confidence with arrogance. I hope you can come to realize this soon. But in conclusion, confident men have nothing to prove, so they will not try to “back up” their confidence.
Chick #1: Cooking a woman dinner, or cooking together, and a little wine; dancing, reading a book, someone willing to learn new things. Chick #2: A guy who works out, ambition, fun, adventurous, having Goals and Balance in life. Show you care about things, being good at your job, care about your friends, care about things. Chick #3: Having your own thing going on ~ having your own life; do not rely on the woman to for your entertainment or her to fulfill you. Don't be too clingy and needy. Chick #4: Be careful of swearing; make sure you don't direct it toward her. Cursing shows a lower skill of vocabulary control. You come off lower class and less cultured if you swear all the time. Chick #3. Swearing comes across too aggressive! Chick #5: Swearing; Keep it clean when around relatives esp. Parents. Makes you look less intelligent. Chicks All: Respect or share hobbies. If you cannot share them, then respect the other's feelings towards their own hobby. Be supportive and share common interests. Chicks All: Talking way too much about themselves. Narcist vibe comes across. Talking too much about yourself, is super unattractive, why are you trying so hard? Comes across over selling. Chicks All: What if Friends do not like the person, you are with. Don't ignore this warning sign. If you value these relationships, then there is something there. Called Discernment! They can see sometimes what you cannot see, esp. if you are in love or overly infatuated with this person. If you have a very close friend that doesn't like your partner, that is a major Red Flag. Take the warning. Chicks All: Take the warnings, with a grain of salt, but they are seeing things you are not seeing if you are blinded by the thrill of a new love or lust or infatuation! Chicks All: What about a cocky guy? Cocky guys are insecure, that is why they are over emphasizing their cockiness. A confident guy will not have to do this. They will be humble and confident, without Peacocking! They are usually the most jealous or needed, if they are arrogant and cocky.
"Friends don't like your significant other." My former male friend Greg. He married a woman in 2004 (they divorced in 2019), who NONE of his friends liked. His FATHER didn't like his wife. Father!! With sons, usually fathers are more "hands off," and the MOTHERS are the ones she has to "win over." Yet, Greg's mother was more tolerant and accepting of her. Two of her biggest faults: She was too direct, and she reeked of jealousy. She didn't get along with any of Greg's friends. And, we all froze Greg out. We stopped going over to Greg's house, after he married her. My favorite cousin said to me (for freezing out Greg), "Well, that shows what kind of a friend you really are!"
First impressions are so important . Freinds look at the girlfriend from the outside of the relationship from how she treats you and talks to you ..you might so infatuated that you blinded .
I've heard nothing important in this video, just 90% vague and non certain information. So, not caring what women want worked for men so far so we should keep to that xD
@@semenjones3282 Not Caring has never worked. Male dating 101 if you are looking to tap and run. If you actually want a partner and to keep a successful relationship - not giving a shit about your partner... is not the way to do that. Y'all just bitter and think that "Women only date dickheads" when the reality is you either don't give off the right vibe, get to needy or act desperate... not to mention the Generalization that "Women want men that don't care about them". You arrange a date, you give off masculine energy but you also take into account her needs - Caring about her needs is not Beta or some other shit. So for example: when you have sex with a girl - you actually try to make sure she enjoys it as well by you know using Foreplay... not just giving her 2 minutes of disappointing Spray and Pray and then falling asleep. If you actually want a partner or want girls to come back repeatedly - then you have to give a shit, not be emotional or needy but care, listen whilst having boundaries. Some girls dont like it but who cares... do you actually go through life not giving a shit.
Had a girl on a first date accuse me of being insensitive when I ordered a meat entree after learning she was vegetarian. Like I'm going to change my eating preference on date #1? And when I suggested that if she thought that strongly about it she should only date vegetarian guys I was accused of being arrogant. NEXT!
Completely agree with you on this one!
Yeah man thats whack for sure, you should have asked her if she wanted to try your dish LOL. Ive been a couple dates with vegetarians and they did not care if I ordered meat, and she ended up being really cool
**pulls out armchair psychologist notebook**
1. Forcing her beliefs and expecting you to change.
2. Not taking criticism and reacting poorly to a simple matter of fact solution.
3. To top it off, the third and major projection of her own arrogance.
@@thatHARVguy Yes, the irony and hypocrisy was not lost on me. No great loss as this girl had an inflated opinion of herself in other areas also and was a bit of a prissy-missy- no great surprise!
Change your eating preference on date #1? Hell, I wouldn't change it at all.
I must say that I appreciate women like you and your friends, who haven't lost faith in men (while so many others have) and want to help us.
Of course! ❤️ I’m so happy to help
She don’t want to help you simp. She wants to mold you.
@Lord Sidious lmao. I see girls like Courtney and imagine them destroying a toilet. That’s all they good for.
@Lord Sidious Courtney would be better off doing onlyfans.
The qualities of manhood are to be admired and esteemed. May we men aspire towards that calling || WE GREAT MEN
One woman’s red flag is another’s attraction
Fr
She just decomposed the whole pua techniques there
Lmao
They’re added baggage luxury we don’t need them we’re the prize
@@jessecarlson9529 No living being no matter how their crotch is shaped can be “the prize”. You’re a person. Your life exists to fulfill achievements; not be an achievement. Such a mentality is so subjective and insecure it’ll literally make you throw your actual potentials away. Guys been doing it for generations, girls been doing it for generations, and look where it got us. A world where for both sexes, both attempted and successful suicide attempts are the highest in both recorded and theoretical history; both men and women practically sleep-talk their rampant discontentment with dating culture; and antidepressants are taken every day by droves of the population.
Nobody’s “the prize”. You sound like a burden however by claiming to be such, on a video from a dating advice UA-camr. You wouldn’t be here if that were the case, because you and your “prize” self would be in a long-term relationship worthy of being published due to its great rarity in the modern world.
Humble yourself. It’s how you’ll be in a place to notice and be desirable to women who’ve either already done the same, or are ready to finally do the same.
I believe the comparison between cocky and confident is a lot like comparing arrogance to wisdom. Confidence, like wisdom, is almost always gained through experience. The more you do something, the more confident you are at doing it. Where as cockiness, like arrogance, mostly comes from a place of insecurity. Where a person needs to exaggerate any accomplishment to make them look good. Cocky people simply lack humility.
Agree completely. I also think confidence can come through understanding your vulnerabilities (your shortcomings, what you lack, where you'd like to get better). And it takes a good degree of humility to recognize one's vulnerabilities and work on them or accept them. Someone whose cocky may feel the need to overcompensate and project an image of themselves for others approval whereas most people can understand that we're all flawed, we all have our insecurities but we can still choose to be confident in ourselves. Like you said a lot of that comes from experience.
Late to this party, but will comment: "cocky" men are simply unattractive to such women. At work, I've found I have to be careful about expressing my confidence, even as I know what I"m doing, because my lack of physical attractiveness turns off the women who think I'm supposed to "be in my place" or "stay in my lane" even if I'm an expert on that matter or justified in what I'm saying while a "confident" man who attractive can be full-of-it but she's swooning over him and she'll buy whatever he's selling. They then gripe "ALL men are liars!" because they get turned on by hot guys who lie to them.
As I've matured and become more confident about my skillsets and knowledge, I'll know pretty well how to express it and sometimes it's a total bluff. Arrogance can oftentimes be mistaken for confidence via the Halo effect, knowing how to read people, and so on. I wish I could have advised my 21 year old self on what I know now. People are mistaken for "cocky" when they either get caught, or don't have the looks to pull it off. A $300 suit helps a lot.
You should do a Mens version of this video. Believe me, guys can talk endlessly about the BS we have to endure in meeting and dating women. All the hard work and BS, only to face a 50% chance of being served with divorce papers if you marry
There's a lower chance of getting dates with women when you're not attractive, unemployed, have bad social skills, and have a disability.
Do it on your own channel, lo ser
Just my guesses on their types:
Lina-Hipster,Artist Guy,Liberal guy
Maria-Wall Street guy,Southern gent
Hallie-Funny guy
Shaylee-Regular,Average guy
Hahaha pretty accurate honestly
Totally agree.Especially with Maria.
as an artist among other things, can confirm Lina is my type 🤷♂️
Shaylee probably likes the darker type though
4 minutes into the video and I feel like dating Shaylee would be like dating a robot. That's the vibe I get, but I could be wrong.
here's my take on cussing:
If it's coming from a place of passion, and the person cussing is being creative and witty with their custom-tailored, original phrases, it can be very entertaining, and intense in a good way.
If anger, resentment, frustration, etc. are the cause of it, then it feels like witnessing a 20 car pile up.
Perfect take! I totally agree.
I swear cussing is such a turn off
Well said.
I rarely cuss, only when I am really angry.
@@Coolkid12585 totally agree. It shows either the person is often angry or that the person has poor vocabulary skills.
*This video is a goldmine for guys looking to understand what truly makes or breaks a first date!*
I'll never be tired of them, they're like the Charlie's Angels of the channel....
The Courtney's Angels
I have to agree with some of my fellow viewers. Cussing used in the right context enhances what you're saying. Too much it loses it's emphasis and becomes a crutch.
As someone who used to cuss, I don’t like it. Once I stopped and heard other people cuss around me, I realized how aggressive people sound. I have however found more creative and wholesome ways to express certain emotions.
What would be super interesting is to ask these same questions to some older women in your life and compare the responses to see if these things are consistent across the age ranges
It can not be compared, of course adult woman wants different things,
@@andreamagyar5541 I agree, that's why the comparison would be interesting.
@@celticc9580 I see.
Yeah these women all seem like their young in their 20s...I'm not sure why all the people are.so.young on this channel.
What ladies say and what they do, are two different things. I want to hear their dating history. Let's see what they do and not what they say.
That would be true and i always look at a woman ability to not only get a man but keep one for a long period of time. If i listen to female relationship advice; i rather listen to good women like Courtney who have had a relationship for a long time. I thought some of the ladies had good points here and there
@@GEORGIOARCADE Courtney gets plows by ups drivers on the side.
@@Filthy_Larry hey it is not polite to assume bad things about people you don't know man. It's ok if you don't like what she says but please don't go there with the insults. Show her the same respect she would show you.
Actions over words my friend, the true test of character || WE GREAT MEN
Speaking of vocabulary a turn off for guys, or at least for me, is a girl who says "like" with every other word and talks like a valley girl! Thanks Courtney for talking with some coherence and being an example for other girls to do so also! -Morgan
ua-cam.com/video/IyQwRkoDtUo/v-deo.html
I absolutely agree. Using Like all the time is a major turn off.
On the confidence vs. cockiness thing - Women absolutely can be attracted to Cockiness. Especially if there is already some attraction there a bit of "swagger" can hack her hypergamy as you are basically saying to her "I believe I'm so high value I don't have to respect you so walk if you want to as I have other options". It's the "bad boy" dynamic at work basically. And what happens? She gets the "tingles"!
The basic point is what a woman likes (comfort) and what she is attracted to (sexual desire) are two different things. A woman's overall attraction is the sum of these two components, desire and comfort. You can think of them like a see-saw. Cockiness, negging, flirting with other women, going cold etc. all play on this balance- by withdrawing comfort you can boost desire. In a more extreme case its a male dom/fem sub dynamic. Taken to the absolute extreme it's an abusive relationship. You'd find the reverse with a "nice guy" dynamic or worse a sexless marriage (all comfort - no sexual desire). That's why "dread game" can be used to raise a woman's libido in an LTR. Many men consciously or subconsciously employ components of "dread" to maintain their partners libido. Done properly it's not manipulation but maintaining a healthy marriage! You can also think of it framed in RP concepts such as "Alpha F*cks, Beta Bucks". Sexual Desire vs. Comfort.
So Cockiness? Women don't LIKE it, so they talk about it negatively (or not at all) - but they absolutely can RESPOND to it - and the response is often a boost in desire. One can even argue that because women know consciously or subconsciously that they can be manipulated by it - that's why they don't like it! It reveals a truth about women they don't like to admit or want men to know.😉
Let's take a moment to appreciate the effort of the workers earning their keep in the background. And also all the ladies for not getting distracted by the noise.
Why would they be distracted it has nothing to do with them?
I recently broke up with my ex and what's fun is that you have touched most of the issues we had in just one video. I tried my best to be interested in what she was doing, to the extent of losing connection with friends, and in return she didn't want to do anything I like and preferred spending all her free time with her friends rather than doing something with me. The hardest part is that now that we broke up, she has still her friends while I am trying to rebuild all the friendship I had to leave while staying with her...
But at least I have learnt what I don't want in my life.
You gave her too much of you and turned her off. Don’t make that mistake again. Maintain your friend groups whilst in relationships. Have other things to do also so you cannot give a girl too much of your time.
@Evidence Based Health It's more complicated than that. you need to understand hypergamy and not judge women too harshly for operating in a way that best protects them. It is what it is.
A man who gives a woman too much of himself is basically saying he's got nothing better to do with his time. No better options. Anything given freely and in large amount has low value. His friends are low value too if so easily given up. Plus you give up something low value for something high value. So SHE'S high value in his mind and HE'S not. He's chasing her. Hypergamy dictates she wants a man at the same or higher value than herself. So she is TURNED OFF by a guy who sacrifices too much of himself.
What's the solution? Career first, maintain friend groups, have hobbies that don't include her. Date her yes, a couple of times a week. Limit communication between dates. DO NOT GIVE HER TOO MUCH OF YOU. Gold is valuable because it is scarce. Now you are demonstrating high value! and if the relationship ends, congrats, you've still maintained all those other areas of your life to fall back on. And indeed those demonstrate high value for the NEXT GIRL!
Yeah, don't give everything up for someone. Maintain ur boundaries. U shouldn't have to destroy bridges, or hobbies to be with someone. If u end up with that type of woman, bounce.
There are several characteristics that differentiates cockiness vs Confidence
1) "Fake it until you make it" vs Accept and build: Cocky ppl feel they have to overcompensate because they feel being themselves isn't good enough. Confident ppl are aware of their insecurities and strive to work on them and know that being themselves is a gift to the world. Confident ppl don't need to "prove" anything to anyone, they just are.
2) Arrogance vs Humble: Cocky ppl think they are above others and it shows by how they treat others poorly. Confident ppl know everyone is dealt a different set of cards however there are ways to improve and help others every chance they get.
3) A fixed mindset vs a growth mindset: Since cocky ppl are arrogant (i.e. they think they know everything and they are perfect) they are closed off to new ideas/challenging old beliefs even if their own beliefs hinder their life. Even though Confident ppl have a good sense of self, they are open to discussion of new ideas and are willing to let go of beliefs that no longer serve them.
I hope recognizing the difference helps you in choosing to be confident and becoming the best version of yourself.
I love how all her frens r healthy , rational and smart like her .. the girls I see on fresh and fit can barely put a sentence together
Refreshing to see, you are the company you keep even though different at the same time
Wholesome midwestern girls. lol
Every time these come out I have to instantly wash them because I just enjoy good conversations with thought out answers. It's rare to see these in the UA-cam space nowadays so thank you.
How do you wash a video? Is it dirty?😂
You sound like a blue pulled simp.
This was a wonderful perspective the ladies gave us Courtney. You should do a video on things women can do improve on things too so it becomes more balanced energy on dates/interactions. I personally don't mind cussing as long as it isn't excessive in public spaces. My family can be very energetic and they cuss so if my partner did; it won't be a problem. I do think we should have some hobbies in common just because it makes it easier to talk to eachother. Overall, i enjoyed today's content. I wish you a lovely day ♥️
Courtney is Mother Nature. She understands, values and appreciates all different types of men unlike many women nowadays.
I'm in the UK and I'm just gonna say that we need more women like Courtney and these girls around for the men who are serious about self improvement and actually want long lasting healthy relationships. Courtney, if you can please reach more women out there to show them that this is the way to find healthy relationships!
Can I have some insight about men in the UK that care about self-improvement and wanting a long-lasting relationship?
@@Numbll well i certainly care about those things, but id say thats rare for guys my age...but also for girls my age too tbh. Most people just wanna drink, do drugs, sleep around and generally "be young" which isnt something im remotely into🤷♂️
@@maxlandsborough4138 Oh...🥲I guess we have to search for people who value the same as us.
@@Numbll Yeah sure, we are similar to the men in the US and to be honest, just like all the men in the West in general, I'd even say globally. A lot of the men in the UK, specifically in London which is where I'm based want to have someone to wind down with from the fast paced lifestyle that is in the city. I'm talking on behalf of myself now, since everyone is different but I strongly resonate with this. I'm in a job role where there is a lot of fast moving parts and as I'm now moving into management, it's getting even faster, I work out, have been studying myself and improving myself to be the best man I can be, chipping away the old patterns and replacing them with new, healthier ones.
Now when it comes to seeking women, of course, you need to meet a lot of them to see what works for you, that isn't code for sleep around; I genuinely mean talking, going out, going on dates, sharing each other's company together, if things progress then great, if not, then you know it wasn't meant for you. I can give more insight but I'd rather you ask something more specific so I don't go off on a tangent haha
@@Altairego I don't know where to start asking but, I'm interested to know how British culture works. I'm going to study abroad in the UK this year or maybe next year. I want to know how people date and have friends there. Also, I want to hear any insight you can give me, I'm ready to read it.
Thank you for providing this information. I feel like many of us guys never understand why a new connection ends abruptly when it seemed to be going well. Much of the time we do not receive feedback on how we are perceived. Learning the do's and do not's of meeting a potential partner will allow us to avoid the instant turn-offs so that we have a better opportunity to show who we are under the surface.
I had a girl come to a first date high as fuck. Then when she took out her driver's license to show the bartender she dropped it and it took her a long time to pick it up. I was so embarrassed.
Lol
I had a few girls tell me im cocky when I believe im just confident . Its weird if im too subtle im unconfident , if im super open and confident im cocky 😂😂🤦
I can only be myself, if girls don't like that then they can go home and make an omelette.
Oh yes the girls are back these girls are queens they are funny too I’m glad you brought them back bring them back for more videos I appreciate their advice 💯
Haha I’m glad you enjoy it! ❤️
Let's try get her too 500k gentlemen,She's been helping us allot ...🙏
Confidence is in the eyes. Thanks we enjoy it. Self esteem is rare theses days. As you stated Courtney social media gives anybody a chance to be who they aren't not.
Just some input on the friends not liking a person you are dating. I've experienced instances in my past that sometimes a friend only has their own relationship with you at heart and is afraid of loosing you as a friend or getting less of your time. (both men & women) They will interfere with a relationship because they get less of your time and are jealous that you are spending more time with someone else. So be aware, not in every instance will a friend have your best interests at heart. It may be their own fear of losing time with you. Seen it in both men and women.
Very interesting.
As I have become older (and now retired) my cursing/swearing has greatly diminished from what it used to be, and if I am in a mixed crowd, then George Carlin's "Seven Words You Can't Say on Television or Radio" (that shows my age) stay locked far far away. Someone pointed out to me years ago that using constant bad/obscene/vulgar language shows a lack of class/maturity/education. I don't know if that still holds true in this day and age but I still follow it for myself. That's not to say I don't do it at all; I still throw out the occasional "S" or "D" word, maybe the "F" word depending whether I'm alone or with a couple of long time guy friends. I also have a theory that language usage is connected to age. The older we get, the better handle we have on using it.
I had to chuckle at the ladies responses to the question, because I could tell they knew their answers could be hypocritical.
These girls are in LA LA LAND!!!!😆
Aren't they always 😂
Jerry: I can't believe we're going dancing.
Jerry's girlfriend: You don't go that often?
Jerry: No, because it's so stupid.
Even though I've never had a first date, I would say my biggest turn-offs from a woman would be: didn't clean herself up much, wears too much makeup, is late for the date, she's rude, on her phone at any point, cares if I'm vaccinated or not, expects me to pay instead of me just offering to pay.
I love when you gather this group of girls' opinions! Only suggestion is having a more diverse mix (age, country, etc) just to see if a consensus is had across a broad group. Either way - always great content Courtney Ryan!
@@bibbityboppityboo1206 Good point - not that I understand why older men want younger women. I can’t see myself going after a 20 something year old - just seems odd. 30+ yes - women not girls. Bit this coming from a 40 year old.
The biggest mistake on first dates is staying at one location for too long, you either need to go somewhere new or just end the date early. I've never had success with hunkering down in one place for a really long time, that seems to bore women.
That’s a good point!
Oh wow... Wowtastic lesson...
This lesson was Just what the doctor ordered as to what women likes and not...
Tnx for sharing this dear...
Gams from Srilanka...
Sending hugs your way... 🤗❤️❤️
@@CourtneyRyan what do YOU bring to the table Courtney? Don’t avoid the questions lol
Cussing is a big habit of mine. Being in the military and from a family of criminals does not help lol It never even occurred to me that cussing could be such a big deal. Glad someone brought this up.
Same lol
Before any of you men decide to listen this...
They have the friend guy
They have the food guy
They have the fun guy
And they have the guy that comes over after
Ah this is perfect timing as I have a first date coming up this weekend! lol It'll be the first date I've gone on since my breakup, so I'm def a little nervous, but she seems like a really sweet girl, so fingers crossed haha.
Thanks Courtney!!
Good luck Brother - remember, YOU ARE THE PRIZE!
@@jleano609 Thanks a ton!!
@@zacharyball3055 Where are you taking her?
@@jleano609 we’re both real into the outdoors so there’s this awesome park she had mentioned wanting to go to, so we’re gonna go shop first and get stuff for a picnic. I’m def looking forward to it just hope it’s nice weather this weekend lol
Then I think we’re going to the drive in movies after
@@zacharyball3055 Picnic is a great first date - v casual and low investment. Drive in movies after? That's a lot. You shouldn't give her too much of you on a first date. Movies can be awkward, especially if you haven't crossed the physical touch barrier first as sitting next to someone you like without touching is kind of weird. How firm is the movie plan?
When a female has lots of friends especially guy friends, that's a signal she might slept with one of them and it's true!! You see them asking her who's he? what he does? They test to see if the guy gets in bad mood ECT ECT.
Question for the host of the video what should a guy do when he knows his girlfriend friends are trying to ruin a good relationship out of jealousy what should he do.
Nothing - just prove them wrong. Interfering with her friends is not a good idea and will just make you look controlling.
He should definitely bring up how his girlfriend friends are making him feel. The longer you don't say something about their behavior; this will be a problem. She can talk to them about this. They should respect that you are with her. Tell your girlfriend "Hey your friends are cool and all but when they do _______ it makes me uncomfortable" If your girlfriend really cares about you; she will address and her friends will fall in line
@@jamescalder5115
But that would make her friends hateful.
@@GEORGIOARCADE
Thanks for the advice.
@@nolanbaptiste358 you're welcome man 👍
As far as the "what would you do if your friends dont like your partner" part, I think friends and family can easily give bad or the wrong advice. My older sister has told me many situations of her friends doing just that. Personally, I find it strange to assume everyone you like are going to automatically click and become instantaneous friends. Also, as a guy there seems to be this unhealthy thing when you meet the friends, like they're judging you and then when you leave they'll give or not give their approval to the person you're seeing. TV shows do this a lot. And it's annoying because unless you are doing something very inappropriate or rude, what the hell does a friend's opinion matter??
I strongly disagree with the lady in stripe saying that "confident men wouldn't be jealous or worried if their partner was messing around because they have confidence in themselves". Wrong. Upon finding out that he has been cheated on, would have the "confidence" to immediately break up and knows he can find someone else.
I actually think you misunderstood what she was saying. I think she was actually referring to insecurities rather than being okay with cheating. Based on how I understood it, she's not wrong. A confident man won't be constantly assuming he's being cheated on.
@Evidence Based Health I don't disagree that her logic is flawed in what a cocky man is. I also am not sure why she would have chose those examples. Either way, my comment was mostly to point out the original poster's misunderstanding of what she said.
Men who look for women to tell them what to do are not men that women actually want.
Lina is wife material. No question.
She has such an authentic personality
She will be wife material when she is 40 and wants to get serious.
Listen to friends' opinions ... they know you ... they know your values PLUS they're not as emotionally / hormonally connected as you. So if they see warning signs ... pay attention. Don't get defensive. Pay attention and love your friends' input. We all get over-run and blinded with emotions.
Cocky can be a difficult one though. Confidence and cocky are often both based on proven capabilities but without a sense of trying to compete with anyone else. (i.e. confident and cocky can be confused). Arrogance is "usually" based on a negative aspect in that it puts other people down. The intent should be to BUILD people, not tear them down.
Id LOVE to date LinaE she is incredibly insightful and CONFIDENT in herself plus she's beautiful as they all are. I just love the way she handles herself!
@8:00 my first date turn off is when date is always late as well...
I hate it when girls are always late cause it feels like my time isn't important to them.
For a first date if she is late I would usually give benefit of the doubt, especially if they are pretty, but if it keeps happening it'll turn into a red flag.
@10:26 bit of a detour, but have to put it out there. I hate it when partner wants to introduce you to friends right away. Lots of the girls I have dated wanted to introduce me to their friends after 3-5 dates. Like we just gotten to know each other, and are still getting to know each other. It's too early! Wait until you are together together and 1-2 months after that. I'm dating you, not your friends. I want you to decide to be with me, not your friends.
They always say judge a person with the friends they are associated with. An Courtney you milieu is just spot on great 🔥🔥🔥
This is the type of video i like most, when we have different type of women talking genuine
Goals without a plan, as well as some backup plans, are just dreams
Yes!!!
@@CourtneyRyan like today for my route I brought four different coats and several towels, one is tucked into my driver seat so that I can stay dry, as my goal today is survive and not catch a cold
Correct.
I disagree. I have no backup plan because I believe in going all in. If you have a backup plan you will not be truly committed. Yes of course if things don't do according to plan it's only then I will try something different.
Im 50, snd listening to the confidence and cocky examples literally opened the floor and my previous life relationship effort BREAKDOWN MISTAKES has hit me like a TONNE OF BRICKS.
IVE been a prick .
ARrrGGGGHHHHhhhhhh
Thank You GIRLS
KULDIP Male, Birmingham, UK
I just wonder...how many of these girls have the traits that they look for in a man?
Seriously...I wouldn't ask for someone to do something that I'm not willing to do or are not doing.
Men and women don’t like each other fir the same reasons but I do see the point you’re making.
That's kinda the point of a woman looking for a male partner is to find someone willing to do things she wouldn't or can't do (and of course intercourse).
@@billybobthekidiswack no I know that. I'm just saying that these girls, rightfully so, have these standards. But are they willing to meet the standards of men??
Put in the work and changes??
@Something Insidious hey I cry ones a week.
You should try it...its very therapeutic
I feel that videos like these really help dudes figure out what they like or dislike in women. It showcases a good variety of female personalities. Thanks! 🙏
The problem is how authentic are these responses? For example, ask women what they watch on TV and you get a lot of responses like the news, documentaries, sports, etc. but then the Nielsen ratings come out and said demographic is apparently mostly watching Bachelorette, Real Housewives, and Keeping up with Kardashians and not the things they claim to watch most often. In other words when you ask people questions like these they tend to give the "right" answers and not the truth for whatever reason.
@@jdanon203 Good point! I look the women who genuinely have the preferences they say they have...which I know can be a challenge haha
CAP!
Great insightful video with nice info. Quality content. Keep doing it Courtney!
Bless from Mexico city 👋🏼
Guys relax on the cussing and be confident! Only insecure people act cocky. 👍
I think the only authentic and most honest answers came out of the question about cussing. I cuss up a storm in isolation or with the guys, but what's been said in the video is true, know your audience. All the other questions that were answered are questions that have been answered 90% the same way over and over and over again, yet we are still asking them today as though it's still a mystery as to what men and women want in relationships....
Other than having a UA-cam channel, what are you into? Do you have any hobbies? What movies do you like? Do posses a inner geek? When was the last time you used profanity or got pissed off at anyone? When was the last time you got drunk? Have you ever got into a physical fight? What was the uncharacteristic thing you ever done? I know you have a Livestream where people ask you questions but I missed that video. Sorry for bombarding you with stupid questions but I'm just curious. Have a good day...
Cocky equals insecure, humble equals confidence. Wow, she's a high-quality woman in my eyes!
They're few and far in between sadly
You know how when you Google a single word, most commonly you get the dictionary definition as a result?
When you Google, "Confidence", you are met with a plethora of articles advertising that they can help you become more confident. I discovered this a while ago while trying, unsuccessfully, to pinpoint just what it means to be confident. So, while it was a bummer not getting the answer I wanted, it also reassured me that the quest to understand confidence is a very common struggle
Confidence is a perception someone has of a person who is courageous. Courage is acknowledging doubt and fear of an unknown outcome, and taking action anyway.
With the hobbies: I've had multiple situations where the woman I was dating were jealous of the women in my social groups. (Crossfit, Acroyoga, latin dancing, ninja warrior) Most of my free time is spent at these events and activities, eventually any woman is going to be curious what their partner is doing. Multiple times the current woman, storms off or throws a fit, because the women in athletic/ active groups often tend to be attractive. The last woman to pull this was 28 years old. That's why I'm done dating women who do not enjoy fitness activities on their own, I was so embarrassed.
With the friends and family not liking your partner, I have three break-ups that come to mind. Two of them, when I had to leave for military duty friends convinced the lady to go out for a weekend, subsequently noting that it was okay for them to cheat on me because "all military guys cheat when they are sent on duty." Which does happen, but I have never, partially because I've been in all male units for most of my career, far more common for the spouse who has suitors available to sleep with, to cheat. Coincidentally both of those "girl weekends" resulted in a drunk call or a message saying "I know you've been cheating my, guess what i just F* some random guy." I'm not perfect, I've slept with a few men's wives who were out of town on a "girl's weekend" admittedly a few of them I knew were married before we had sex. The third listened to her child's father who didn't see it as appropriate that his son thought another man could be stronger than his father.
I loved what Shaylee said about cocky vs. confident. So true.
Solid friends group right there. The blonde with the striped shirt has an awesome personality...They all seem really cool, but something special about her.
I'm thinking about the friend not liking partner part. Should listen to your friends but don't let your friends make the decisions for you. They might see something that you don't in your partner. But also you might see something that they don't and they could have their own prejudices as well and they might not like them but that's why he's not dating them lol he's dating you and you aren't them. So listen and take notes but make your own decision
I like the friends one. My ex wife was a partier. Her friends (male and female) were also easy and out for a good time. I wanted my new wife to improve her friend circle. She said I was controlling and dictating her social life. She did go out and cheated on me. I found out after we split.
Really helpful as we tend to forget these simple points at times. Love the blonde in the pink and white top
Courtney, I'm sitting here watching this vid and I'm wondering "why do I like this vid more than I like all the others?" It's the soft classical music in the background. Fantastic idea!
Love your channel, I would like to add some food for thought to the question, what if your friends don't like your partner/mate? Unfortunately very often the reason that your friends might not like your partner/mate is because they are only getting one side of the relationship story, the side from you. I have found that unless you are in the relationship you are not qualified to give relationship advice because you just don't know the entire story. Sometimes, the best advice is no advice. Unfortunately it would seem that quite often women look to their female friends for advice which even though well intended may be incorrect or misguided.
THIS VIDEO IS SO HELPFUL. It cleared a lot of confusion I had about girls. I am almost embarrassed to realize that girls aren't really as complicated as I thought to be.
You are right - women are not that complicated. You just need to understand their primary mating strategy, Hypergamy. Once you do, WITHOUT JUDGEMENT, all becomes clear.
These are my favorite type of vids from you bc of the different perspectives they give
So Han Solo was right: Hey kid, don't get too cocky!
@@serrgass5569 what in the world is that supposed to mean related to the Han Solo quote?!?
There have been studies done that show people who swear more actually have bigger vocabulary’s and also tend to be more honest! But I understand not doing it in specific situations!
Women can tell all they want about what they want or what they find attractive vs. turn offs, but the truth is that, as a man, you've already been prejudged. If you're just a regular guy, she's not attracted to you and you can do all the right things that she said she was attracted to but it won't matter. However, if you're Chad or Tyrone, you can do all the things she described as a turn off and she'll still sleep with you soon after you meet.
There's way too much that women expect out of men for dating that it just doesn't seem worth it. It's way too much to try to fix about me that I just don't see the point anymore.
For real bro. Courtney just needs to dive off a bridge head first
No big loss.
@@Filthy_Larry that's completely uncalled for. Really rude of you to say something like that.
@@ericv5435 I’m a nice guy.
The girl at 12:43 was my type of lady for sure. I Enjoy hearing all their insights also
Hi Courtney! Saving this video for later! Keep up the good work girl!
These are great. Insightful with interesting guests. Bravo.
Great episode and good to see Hallee again. Being passionate is important for men and women!
I’m going to disagree with the super modern idea that you should be holding your friends and your wife/husband/romantic partner to the same standing in the priority realm. You SHOULD be placing your wife (or woman you’re hoping to wife) as a priority over non-romantic friendships, and it’s actually bad if you’re not doing that. Now to clarify, obviously your wife and friends hold the same value as human beings, but with respect to priority in YOUR responsibility, friendships come second.
Maybe I should send this video to my estranged wife. These women understand that you can have different interests and still show interest in your partner.
Confidence + Nice = Humble Masculinity 😇💪
Courtney, You have answered many questions I have had about dating when I watch your videos.
For those wondering, the difference between confidence and cockiness is if she finds you attractive or not. If she wants you, that means you are confident. If she doesn't that means you are cocky.
The blonde in the pink and the brunette are my favorites.
Very insightful. When on a first is it better to go in for a kiss and hope for the best or just hug if your not sure a kiss will be welcome?
My grandfather always used to say "swearing (cursing) is what idiots do when they have nothing intelligent to say" I do swear though 🤣
I don’t know man. Can make a joke a lot funnier used carefully, and I know plenty of mature girls who love being complimented every once in a while with a funny “gah daaamn” at the beginning or end 😂 but, used nonchalantly and freely like it’s nothing, I wholly agree with your grandfather.
I would say that it does help if some of your hobbies are similar
The blond girl with white to is so articulate in her answers ..and has it right ..
Lina is such a sweet heart.
The biggest turn off for a guy on the first date is when she opens her mouth to say so how much money you make.
I would next that chick and walkout srs
Can you make a video about guys without social media? I’ve got really mixed feelings from women from strong and independent to borderline sex offender creepy. When I say no social media I mean, I only have call and text available in my social life
I can do something about this!
Your channel is very helpful, not only in the fact that it gives you dating advice if you are single but also it keeps dating life with a partner fresh and exciting. I listen to your videos everytime I have dead time to kill and I even did a full workout listening to your channel. Kind regards from Romania keep up the good work
What about being super early for first dates because of bus schedules; is that a turn off?
The difference between arrogance and confidence is simple: a confident man can back up what he says.
@Evidence Based Health you’re confusing confidence with arrogance. When a confident guy asks a girl out, he expects both results and is happy with them. Personally I’m shy around girls so even if I do get rejected, I still feel proud of myself because I’m putting myself out there and challenging myself in what is a difficult situation. In other words, I’m going out of my comfort zone, and I’m proud of myself for doing that even if I don’t get the girl. An arrogant guy will feel offended if he gets rejected because he feels that he didn’t do anything wrong, and will show his true colors in this situation. Also confidence is something you gain, while arrogance is born out of insecurities. In short, confident people don’t care about being rejected because they know that they can improve on what went wrong and just talk to another girl. Arrogant people instead refuse to improve their problems and believe that it’s always the other person’s fault for being rejected.
@Evidence Based Health but you’re still missing the point. Being arrogant means “I’m better than you”. Being confident means “I’m proud of myself”. Your opinion and logic is flawed because you are using the term interchangeably. The reason you are thinking this is because many people confuse arrogance with confidence and use the term improperly. Confidence is gained by challenging yourself and setting goals. By doing this you feel proud for yourself for having a list of both short and long term goals. Also, you’re saying “naturally confident man” as if confidence is an innate behavior some are born with. Again, confidence is gained, no one is born with it. You’re also stating that how many women a guy has slept with is an indication of his confidence. While this is true In many cases, women don’t care how many other women a man has slept with. You’re also stating that the only way a man can show he’s confident is by having many past experiences with women. Again, this is false. Subconsciously, women are able to pick up on confident traits based on body language and how they react to what a woman is saying and doing in a conversation. In my experience it sounds to me you’ve had experience with arrogant, not confident men. The reason I am saying this is because you are stating that you believe confident men actually boast about their success in the past with women. It shows he’s trying to prove something. A man who is actually confident in himself doesn’t do this because he knows he can attract women with his confident personality. Him saying how many girls he slept with gives an arrogant impression. Overall I believe you have the definitions mixed up. Again, I will say that you’re confusing confidence with arrogance. I hope you can come to realize this soon. But in conclusion, confident men have nothing to prove, so they will not try to “back up” their confidence.
Chick #1: Cooking a woman dinner, or cooking together, and a little wine; dancing, reading a book, someone willing to learn new things.
Chick #2: A guy who works out, ambition, fun, adventurous, having Goals and Balance in life. Show you care about things, being good at your job, care about your friends, care about things.
Chick #3: Having your own thing going on ~ having your own life; do not rely on the woman to for your entertainment or her to fulfill you. Don't be too clingy and needy.
Chick #4: Be careful of swearing; make sure you don't direct it toward her. Cursing shows a lower skill of vocabulary control. You come off lower class and less cultured if you swear all the time.
Chick #3. Swearing comes across too aggressive!
Chick #5: Swearing; Keep it clean when around relatives esp. Parents. Makes you look less intelligent.
Chicks All: Respect or share hobbies. If you cannot share them, then respect the other's feelings towards their own hobby. Be supportive and share common interests.
Chicks All: Talking way too much about themselves. Narcist vibe comes across. Talking too much about yourself, is super unattractive, why are you trying so hard? Comes across over selling.
Chicks All: What if Friends do not like the person, you are with. Don't ignore this warning sign. If you value these relationships, then there is something there. Called Discernment! They can see sometimes what you cannot see, esp. if you are in love or overly infatuated with this person. If you have a very close friend that doesn't like your partner, that is a major Red Flag. Take the warning.
Chicks All: Take the warnings, with a grain of salt, but they are seeing things you are not seeing if you are blinded by the thrill of a new love or lust or infatuation!
Chicks All: What about a cocky guy? Cocky guys are insecure, that is why they are over emphasizing their cockiness. A confident guy will not have to do this. They will be humble and confident, without Peacocking! They are usually the most jealous or needed, if they are arrogant and cocky.
"Friends don't like your significant other." My former male friend Greg. He married a woman in 2004 (they divorced in 2019), who NONE of his friends liked. His FATHER didn't like his wife. Father!! With sons, usually fathers are more "hands off," and the MOTHERS are the ones she has to "win over." Yet, Greg's mother was more tolerant and accepting of her. Two of her biggest faults: She was too direct, and she reeked of jealousy. She didn't get along with any of Greg's friends. And, we all froze Greg out. We stopped going over to Greg's house, after he married her. My favorite cousin said to me (for freezing out Greg), "Well, that shows what kind of a friend you really are!"
First impressions are so important . Freinds look at the girlfriend from the outside of the relationship from how she treats you and talks to you ..you might so infatuated that you blinded .
Thank you Courtney your an amazing person and your videos are very informative. You have giving me a so much great advice.
Sending you love Courtney (and Teddy) all the way from the UK!
Thank you, my friend! You too! ❤️
I've heard nothing important in this video, just 90% vague and non certain information. So, not caring what women want worked for men so far so we should keep to that xD
Yeah not caring what women want has not worked for men xD.
As it usually is with women
Women like Courtney prey on fools on this board. She is chasing out on desperate people. I’d donate to her dinner table if she opened an OnlyFans
@@jamescalder5115 not caring doesn't work? That's male dating 101 right there tf?
@@semenjones3282 Not Caring has never worked. Male dating 101 if you are looking to tap and run.
If you actually want a partner and to keep a successful relationship - not giving a shit about your partner... is not the way to do that.
Y'all just bitter and think that "Women only date dickheads" when the reality is you either don't give off the right vibe, get to needy or act desperate... not to mention the Generalization that "Women want men that don't care about them".
You arrange a date, you give off masculine energy but you also take into account her needs - Caring about her needs is not Beta or some other shit. So for example: when you have sex with a girl - you actually try to make sure she enjoys it as well by you know using Foreplay... not just giving her 2 minutes of disappointing Spray and Pray and then falling asleep.
If you actually want a partner or want girls to come back repeatedly - then you have to give a shit, not be emotional or needy but care, listen whilst having boundaries. Some girls dont like it but who cares... do you actually go through life not giving a shit.
The first girl I just fell I love with. She’s incredible 😁