Data Scientist Exposes Men & Women’s Real Dating Preferences

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  • Опубліковано 28 сер 2024
  • Seth-Stephens Davidowitz explains what men and women truly want from a relationship based on Big Data analysis. Do women really want taller men? Do rich men make women happier? How can men be more competitive? Are younger women more attractive?
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,4 тис.

  • @ChrisWillx
    @ChrisWillx  2 роки тому +118

    Full episode with Seth live this Monday. Press Subscribe you beautiful humans.

    • @JonathanLoganPDX
      @JonathanLoganPDX 2 роки тому +4

      Brilliant content/conversation clip. Looking forward to listening to the full episode, Chris!

    • @foysollee750
      @foysollee750 2 роки тому +3

      Hi Chris , what is the "book data" he is talking about ?? thanks .

    • @covfefe_drumpfh
      @covfefe_drumpfh 2 роки тому

      Hi! Great video.
      Loved the bit on 9:39
      Modifying my standards, while still keeping them high, landed me my husband of 10+ years.
      How? I changed the _audience_ I was _advertising_ myself within the _sexual market_ and found different customers. The old audience were artsy pale brunets. I then opted for broader the scope to include blonds into tech. It worked!

    • @Randomcharacters285
      @Randomcharacters285 2 роки тому

      Chris is taking all the women, handsome, intelligent bastard

    • @GaminHasard
      @GaminHasard 2 роки тому +3

      Fuck. Now I can’t unhear it.

  • @eugenio_costa82
    @eugenio_costa82 2 роки тому +396

    That's the essence of marketing: choose your target audience but narrow down to your customer avatar. If you try to please everybody, you'll please nobody.

    • @noellecannon1411
      @noellecannon1411 2 роки тому +9

      This is a perfect analogy

    • @sumtingwong8768
      @sumtingwong8768 2 роки тому +23

      @@noellecannon1411 Its NOT an analogy, it literally IS marketing

    • @lilcho9071
      @lilcho9071 2 роки тому +5

      Customer avatar? Please elaborate, don’t know what that term means

    • @whoever_81
      @whoever_81 2 роки тому +4

      "narrow down to your customer avatar". Please elaborate?

    • @sumtingwong8768
      @sumtingwong8768 2 роки тому +15

      @@whoever_81 If you sell dog toys that are made for playing in the water, then your customer avatar is people who OWN dogs, probably live in areas where its warmer weather and through feedback from ads will know if what age group, demographic. Example: Target market is 30-45 year old males who are dog owners, shop at Petco, and live in the South. So ads would be a southern male playing with a dog and the dog toy outside in warm weather, maybe even southern slang in the ads. Get it?

  • @lostsurferjames5
    @lostsurferjames5 2 роки тому +1825

    I'm sorry but the gentleman sounds just like Craig from South Park and I can't get it out of my head xD

    • @manbearpig9808
      @manbearpig9808 2 роки тому +108

      😂 😂 So true, practically ruined the video for me only 5 seconds in

    • @lostsurferjames5
      @lostsurferjames5 2 роки тому +64

      @@manbearpig9808 I'm being super cereal guys!

    • @kratos.8151
      @kratos.8151 2 роки тому +9

      Hahahahahahahahaha

    • @lcarthel
      @lcarthel 2 роки тому +9

      Yes!

    • @DavidThackerMusic
      @DavidThackerMusic 2 роки тому +35

      U ruined this vid for me 😂😂😂

  • @MoralGovernment
    @MoralGovernment 2 роки тому +1119

    Yep, I had it on my dating profile that I wanted to get married and have kids ASAP, and even how I wanted to raise my kids, how I wanted to be a stay at home, homeschooling mom. I got so criticizes by my friends, they said I would scare men away. And I said good, that's the point, I don't want to waste my time, I am only looking for 1 man! I met and married my husband within 4 months, my dating career was short compared to those women who are bland and average and waste years dating around.

    • @chrisbrownlov1
      @chrisbrownlov1 2 роки тому +71

      Smart. Unfortunately people are into wasting time nowadays when it comes to relationships, ..one of the most important things we can get ourselves into. We don't even realize how much affect it has, that if we did people would take it more seriously.

    • @MoralGovernment
      @MoralGovernment 2 роки тому +136

      @OUTCLASSER Support Team People who get divorced and remarried over and over ago screw up the stats. First time marriages, not being poor, not having your first kid until you're married, etc greatly lower the chances of divorce. And divorce is a choice, it's not like cancer or something.

    • @wyleecoyotee4252
      @wyleecoyotee4252 2 роки тому +55

      You barely know eachother. Wait a year or two years and his underlying issues will surface
      4 months is nothing.

    • @MoralGovernment
      @MoralGovernment 2 роки тому +130

      @@wyleecoyotee4252 4 months is plenty of time to find out what a person is really like. You don't really need years. That's just an excuse guys use to keep having sex with someone they have no intention of marrying.

    • @edk487
      @edk487 2 роки тому +49

      @@MoralGovernment 4 months isn’t enough lol even in the 1950s people would know each other for years before marriage.

  • @anewagora
    @anewagora 2 роки тому +734

    I think the idea of embracing extremes, makes perfect sense to me. I've found that since I'm blunt and transparent, and pretty focused on my values and passions, that naturally deters the wrong people and attracts the right people. It's so much better to find this out up front or ASAP, then you prevent yourself from getting into unstable, toxic or untrustworthy jobs and relationships. It's helped in my personal life and helped me avoid potentially repressed, dogmatic, censoring jobs. Usually a job that is pushing dogmatic politeness as a default uses that to ignore and cover up real problems, so when you try to address the problem, they call you "disrespectful" and suggest there's something wrong with your communication simply because the truth is negative. That's a dangerous environment, not worth it. So not only is this good dating advice, it's important for boundaries and self-protection.

    • @danfontaine8179
      @danfontaine8179 2 роки тому +11

      When you have to be confrontational to get a day off or ask to be treated like more of a human lol

    • @davids_d3246
      @davids_d3246 2 роки тому +5

      You men are Spot On . As Rollo says.. Frame is everything ( i totally agree with you, to understand at work is fundamental!)

    • @bigcauc7530
      @bigcauc7530 2 роки тому +17

      @@danfontaine8179 for the brief period of time i worked at Walmart, that is how it was. They would treat everyone not in management like shyt and would perpetually ignore time off requests yet give themselves all of the time off. It was the first time I had yelled at 2 managers to their faces at a job. I had not had the urge to scream at someone before then. Now, i am more comfortable being confrontational but I'm still strategic about it.

    • @danfontaine8179
      @danfontaine8179 2 роки тому

      @@bigcauc7530 I love living in this upside-down power dynamic world where managers are just shittier versions of employees and the richer people are the more terrible of people they tend to be

    • @sarahrobertson634
      @sarahrobertson634 2 роки тому +3

      @@davids_d3246 Do not quite Rollo, that weird little dwarf. Your frame is nothing. If you can't be flexible, you can't be in a relationship. Duh.

  • @uneedtherapy42
    @uneedtherapy42 2 роки тому +321

    This is literally the sanest, most down to earth stuff I’ve ever heard about dating. I’ve always said what attracts you won’t keep you there in the long run. If it was all looks and status why would good looking rich people ever split up?

    • @TheSuperappelflap
      @TheSuperappelflap 2 роки тому +17

      For the alimony

    • @0Turbox
      @0Turbox 2 роки тому +20

      Because they can get good-looking partners any day.

    • @jesse8737
      @jesse8737 2 роки тому +17

      To find another good looking person?

    • @jonathannavarro6679
      @jonathannavarro6679 2 роки тому +14

      Because they have a plethora of options.

    • @DawnEnergy
      @DawnEnergy 2 роки тому +6

      to keep playing

  • @Elizabeth-kn4jh
    @Elizabeth-kn4jh 2 роки тому +795

    20 year old woman here, I find it incredibly attractive when someone is passionate and really into something. Like fiction be it a TV show or video games. A dorky interest is awesome as I have them myself. Don’t kill off parts of yourself for a woman. The types of women who use dating sites with shallow standards probably aren’t the ones you should be in a relationship with in the first place.

    • @Sal3600
      @Sal3600 2 роки тому +9

      The generic 'i find so and so attractive' stance. Not that it's bad though!

    • @MrBenji1059
      @MrBenji1059 2 роки тому +7

      @@nightkingxx they're all over Twitch & hee on UA-cam lol

    • @chadchandler5447
      @chadchandler5447 2 роки тому +58

      Normally, women don't like video games because they know it's a timesink that doesn't increase wealth or social status and that she'll have to compete for attention with that. And I say that as a gamer, it's a nice hobby but I get why women don't like it.

    • @Elizabeth-kn4jh
      @Elizabeth-kn4jh 2 роки тому +11

      @@chadchandler5447 I've never heard of that, an interesting hobby is never a 'time sink.' Do you really think women only choose to do something to increase wealth or status? That's crazy, and rather sad.

    • @Elizabeth-kn4jh
      @Elizabeth-kn4jh 2 роки тому +5

      @@nightkingxx Haha, you would be surprised at how big the female demographic is, especially with JRPGs. I've recently gotten into Final Fantasy VII (late to the party, ik) and it's been a while since I've fallen this hard for a fictitious world and its characters.

  • @alexforce9
    @alexforce9 2 роки тому +192

    I like this guy. He seems very honest and yes, nerdy lol. Exactly the person I would trust for some data.

  • @aja363
    @aja363 2 роки тому +174

    As a woman in her 40s, Seth's advice on seeking potential partners with solid psychological variables: growth mindset, satisfactory outlook to life, conscientiousness is GOLD!! And, I would like to add that start with Truely Knowing Yourself. That would be a big help when looking for similarity in others, helping you focus more on whether you share a similar Outlook towards life, Values etc. One of my favorite quotes by Carl Sagan: "We make our world significant by the courage of our questions and the depth of our answers!" All the very best to you all!

    • @brtbrtbrl7461
      @brtbrtbrl7461 Рік тому +1

      What does satisfactory outlook to life mean actually?

    • @aja363
      @aja363 Рік тому +2

      @@brtbrtbrl7461 Imho, it means Firstly, having Faith/Conviction in Oneself-includes abiding by one's conciousness, trusting one's intution, Carving time for reflection includes Gratitude, Taking good care of oneself: mentally, physically n spiritually, Wonder for mother Nature, Love for Music, Love for learning. I highly recommend Carl Sagan's Pale Blue Dot - it's a must watch video for all! Love & Light to all!!🍀👍

    • @Jack-hq4yq
      @Jack-hq4yq Рік тому

      @@aja363 but what about the sex

    • @aja363
      @aja363 Рік тому

      @@Jack-hq4yq It has served its purpose - I've loving kiddos. More than pleasure which is a fleeting sensation, I believe in joie de vivre - love of life ! Enjoy your weekend, kiddo!😊🍀🎵🥳💃🏞🏖🌄🌅🌃🌇

  • @angelaudon8864
    @angelaudon8864 2 роки тому +80

    So make it absolutely clear what you want and who YOU are and you'll get less matches, but the matches you do get are far better overall matches, and put yourself out there. Solid advice.

    • @Ryan-qu4vx
      @Ryan-qu4vx Рік тому +1

      Actually it is even stronger, you will get more matches and better matches but the people who dislike you will really dislike you. As long as you are comfortable with random strangers having an intense dislike of you it is the optimal matching strategy.

  • @SpaceSpaceCat
    @SpaceSpaceCat 2 роки тому +106

    Looking forward to the full episode on Monday Chris! As a data analyst and massive geek, I love the data based episodes, like the one with Nick Maggiulli on data driven tactics to build wealth. A lot of your podcast episodes I watch and take notes, then figure out ways I can build them into my life. Thank you for the diversity of guests you have, they help to challenge my own beliefs, even if I don't agree with them.

    • @ChrisWillx
      @ChrisWillx  2 роки тому +14

      That username has killed me 😂 Thanks man. This episode is so so good. Definitely pre order Seth's book

  • @edpowers3764
    @edpowers3764 2 роки тому +201

    It’s honestly quite brilliant to realize that you can use basic probability theory to optimize your chances of success with at least one girl. If you’re a 1 asking out a 10 and your probability of failure is 86%, then the probability of getting AT LEAST 1 success after 30 approaches is 99%. Put yourself out there!!

    • @acdude5266
      @acdude5266 2 роки тому

      Actually, 40 % of all men do not leave offspring. Between 10 and 20 % of the men get 80 to 90 % of the action.
      Because of this, men in the Sub-Five have little chance.
      The math does not seem right. Check out wheat waffles channel for a much bettr explanation. He actually shows the data unlike this video and would refer to this video as blue pilling.

    • @nemosnemo8869
      @nemosnemo8869 2 роки тому +22

      Yes but remember long term happiness is not determined by your partners hotness so it’s important to find someone you genuine like so when the romance dies down you have something worth keeping.

    • @koanzx1
      @koanzx1 2 роки тому

      yes so you just get with a random girl lmao what a shitty advice

    • @synkkamaan1331
      @synkkamaan1331 2 роки тому +41

      This guy: If you have a 14% chance of success asking one person out, then you will have a 99% chance of success if you ask 30 people out.
      Me: Nope. Still only 14%. It doesn't matter how many people you asked out before, your chances are 14% with every single individual. To think that you failed on the last five attempts, therefore, you are due a win, is a gambler's fallacy.

    • @ryanli5803
      @ryanli5803 2 роки тому +54

      @@synkkamaan1331 He said the chance of at least 1 success after 30 attempts, not the chance that the 30th attempt will be a success...

  • @ShyMplsMale
    @ShyMplsMale 2 роки тому +93

    Simplest truth boys and girls: Be the best version of yourself... whatever that may be. Don't let society influence you at all. Just be whatever you want to be - whatever feels true in your heart and soul - and go be that. You will find your person while on that journey.

    • @ShyMplsMale
      @ShyMplsMale Рік тому

      @Wilhelm Eley - Exactly. You define what it means for you. Not what society says.

    • @nalianalianalia
      @nalianalianalia 6 місяців тому +1

      Being such a person doesn't help in finding anyone "right". No, you have slight chances that anyone like that will appear in your life. I am truly fed up with all those people giving advices in the internet who bear no responsibility for their words. You people only prolong baseless dreams. That's why so many are single

    • @ShyMplsMale
      @ShyMplsMale 6 місяців тому

      @nalianalianalia - how do you know they are baseless dreams? Are YOU truly the best version of yourself? If not, how can you say they are baseless dreams? Lots of stories from people who became the best version of themselves and found their person. But... even if someone who is the best version of themselves doesn't find their person, it won't matter because they are already happy 🙏

  • @brigitagrine5204
    @brigitagrine5204 2 роки тому +78

    Best dating advice I've heard was "List the qualities you want in a partner and be THAT".

    • @malakatan3235
      @malakatan3235 2 роки тому +22

      No...Men & Women have difference preference, that bad advice

    • @josecarlosxyz
      @josecarlosxyz 2 роки тому +6

      I don’t want to implant silicone in my breast

    • @nicolasoliveira4903
      @nicolasoliveira4903 2 роки тому

      @@bperez8656 The girl exactly like me, wants a guy like the ones in the movies. The math doesn't match.

    • @blackpillfitness9136
      @blackpillfitness9136 2 роки тому

      @Nicolas Oliveira then be like a guy in a movie. Do nofap

    • @anyutka19
      @anyutka19 2 роки тому +2

      No no no don’t do that. If you want masculine qualities do not try to become masculine

  • @BTCSowhat
    @BTCSowhat 2 роки тому +15

    Happiness is a product of expectations, if you’re attractive your yesterday was filled with compliments. Your outlook for tomorrow will be easier to price in a good amount of uplifting encounters.

  • @gregbagel791
    @gregbagel791 2 роки тому +74

    I think the concept comes down to being able to establish a connection with someone. If you are already incredibly good looking, people want to establish a connection with you already off perceived traits. But if your not, if you really extreme that makes you interesting and makes a connection through that, and sharing similarities creates a connection somehow off the bat.

    • @klons1992
      @klons1992 2 роки тому +3

      Looks will also fade so its much better

    • @filipinoblackpill6194
      @filipinoblackpill6194 2 роки тому +1

      No looks will never fade that fast. Looks will always override all the negative die to the halo effect. looks will make people illogical, why there are many simps, why they are many women who are hypergamous about looks.

  • @MikaelMahsudjan
    @MikaelMahsudjan 2 роки тому +119

    The extremes definitely is a thing. I used to have a crazy emo style when I was 16-20, and I had more attention from girls than I had time. But also was fiercely hated by others, both girls and guys.
    It's pretty funny - after I decided to change myself and become "normal", I have been single for ages and almost no female interest/only rejections. I guess being 5'6 and at best average looking by itself is not enough to attract much attention.
    I guess I could spice my looks up a bit again

    • @cras17
      @cras17 2 роки тому +24

      Time to bring back the black makeup!

    • @MikaelMahsudjan
      @MikaelMahsudjan 2 роки тому +7

      @@cras17 I never got that far, skinny jeans in 2008 got enough controversy. Funnily enough, now it's mainstream. I was obviously ahead of the time😂

    • @cras17
      @cras17 2 роки тому +3

      @@MikaelMahsudjan bring it back. I want to think you just walked out of a time capsule

    • @cnewtonsmart2
      @cnewtonsmart2 2 роки тому +2

      Hahaha me too

    • @SnakeHandler-g7u
      @SnakeHandler-g7u 2 роки тому +10

      True, just as a joke I walked around with a mohawk at college for a week.90% of people would steer clear but randomly girls would approach me and start a conversation.

  • @mboerdijk
    @mboerdijk 2 роки тому +31

    As an old lady of mid 40s, happily married for 20 years, looking back on life - this is a very smart, down to earth advice how to look for a happy, long term relationship.

    • @lavish_1717
      @lavish_1717 2 роки тому +9

      40’s is not old …

    • @metatron8386
      @metatron8386 2 роки тому

      41 here married 16 years :)

    • @galaxyqueen8835
      @galaxyqueen8835 2 роки тому +1

      40’s is not old…especially if your skin is still tight.

    • @nalianalianalia
      @nalianalianalia 6 місяців тому

      Doesn't work. I tried the same and it didn't. More than half of people are single coz it's so difficult to find someone like that.

  • @bobxbaker
    @bobxbaker 2 роки тому +31

    the extremes work because the worst thing you can be as a person is bland apparently.
    a bland person will have little trouble finding friends or fitting in, but they will have a more difficult time finding someone being attracted to their blandness.
    and yes, dating is a numbers game, it's just rough because if it was merely numbers you wouldn't care but because emotions are involved it becomes an ordeal.

    • @criss5405
      @criss5405 2 роки тому +1

      Extreme what? perhaps energy level, but not values. If those don't match, the couple will separate.

    • @bobxbaker
      @bobxbaker 2 роки тому +3

      ​@@criss5405 i'm talking about personality, where did you get values from?

    • @criss5405
      @criss5405 2 роки тому +1

      @@bobxbaker Part of personality is character.

  • @ohedd
    @ohedd 2 роки тому +11

    "You've got to put yourself out there"
    Me, 30 years old, never asked anyone out ever: "nah"

  • @jkovert
    @jkovert 2 роки тому +19

    The art of not caring about it brings all beautiful things your way.

    • @janemike3048
      @janemike3048 2 роки тому

      Hey

    • @jkovert
      @jkovert 2 роки тому

      @@janemike3048 ua-cam.com/video/tVCUAXOBF7w/v-deo.html

  • @ThisisFit
    @ThisisFit 2 роки тому +15

    Incredibly helpful information-good to remember that what online dating apps are maximizing for are qualities that don’t necessarily add up to satisfying futures.

  • @reesehood8518
    @reesehood8518 Рік тому +11

    Is it just me, or is there something about attraction that is simply mysterious? I'll crush on a girl who's not a super model, yet still pretty in her own right. Then for some reason I'll want her more than anyone else. I'm at the point where I want something way deeper than sex. To be wanted and loved by someone else.

    • @imoretullv243
      @imoretullv243 Рік тому +4

      If you see her friendly eyes, detect an authentic tone, has compassion, and she still looks cute girl next door, that's better some broad with high heels and a clown face full of makeup.

  • @cody_go_create
    @cody_go_create 2 роки тому +128

    I trust his intelligence by the way his words are spoken through his nose.

  • @africakalahari4477
    @africakalahari4477 2 роки тому +6

    Everything has it's place, attraction is one of them. What you're attracted to once is not what you'll be attracted to the same way because of influences that change your preferences. Take comparing two pictures of the same person based on their attractiveness for example. One of the pictures may be better than the other based on the outfit or angle or whatever. Keep in mind it's the same person, but 'something else' enhances their attractiveness physically. Even if the pictures are both attractive to you, they are still not the same because you acknowledge the difference, but they are attractive to you at the same time.
    Attraction is the fuel for curiosity. That is it's purpose and that's why we create fantasies if we cannot experience what we are attracted to first hand. Unfortunately our interest in what we are attracted to fades away after we have fulfilled our desires and does not ignite the values that we treasure in our lives, in relation to what attracted us to those interests in the first place. Our eye for attraction keeps changing based on whether we gain value after engaging in our interests; what attracted you then is not what attracts you now especially when only physical attractiveness is concerned.
    Why do we change outfits?, enhance our physical appearance with makeup? (With different colours, textures: powders, liquids, gel based products; brands... So on and so forth) wear different perfumes... There's so much to choose from and that's just for our bodies. Other attractive designs from cutlery, technology, buildings... I can go on and on but you get the point. The cycle will always continue. The cycle could be vicious or benefitial. It is all up to you. Be aware of what or who attracts you and when you invest your time in partaking your interests that have attracted you, don't forget what you value the most because your values are what you are truly searching for in what attracts you and (your values) remain a solid priority in your life. Stick with what attracts and fulfills your values in life.

  • @Laura-il5lo
    @Laura-il5lo 2 роки тому +54

    Met my husband online. After spending a couple months online dating and realizing I was consistently getting paired with assholes, I changed my priority list to have only "kind" and "good sense of humor". Met my future husband on that first post-change match.

    • @MrCuteBai
      @MrCuteBai 2 роки тому +2

      So basically u got bored getting railed by chads & settled for a sub 5 beta male in fear of staying a washed up single mum?

    • @canadude2010
      @canadude2010 2 роки тому +2

      Haha…good one…

    • @amerhamad4577
      @amerhamad4577 2 роки тому +7

      What did you have your preferences for when you were ending up with jerks?

    • @rainbow9832
      @rainbow9832 Рік тому +2

      @@amerhamad4577 THE question.

  • @kknumber20
    @kknumber20 2 роки тому +9

    He’s right about extremes. My head turns when I see something different, and it might be an eww or it might be a heyyy. But if they looked boring or regular I wouldn’t even look or think about them at all. Men who want women I think should be more out there in style bc it works.

  • @mykewilliamsdorsey2727
    @mykewilliamsdorsey2727 2 роки тому +12

    Simply put, in our culture for at least the last two generations dating has become a sport and marriage has become all but a lost art. This is the consequence of hyper individualism that has become acceptable behavior in our culture. Being in long term relationships is full of compromises and self sacrifice. That’s not sexy, that’s reality. It’s a marathon, not a walk in the park. That’s just the truth. People have to be honest with themselves and decided what they actually want.

  • @Forheavenssake1ify
    @Forheavenssake1ify 2 роки тому +14

    As one dating columnist (female) jokingly yet honestly noted "I want to date someone like me, but with more money"

    • @karina_0002
      @karina_0002 Рік тому

      This is funny lol but we do want this

  • @jnauttube
    @jnauttube 2 роки тому +65

    @8:41 he makes an excellent point. And at my age, it resonates. If you're my age (50s) and you find an attractive single woman at 50... the first thing I wonder (and often discover) is that there's a reason they're single...

    • @grendal113
      @grendal113 2 роки тому +4

      Hit and quit. We aren't trying to breed anymore. I know I don't want a high schooler at 70

    • @moimathieson1375
      @moimathieson1375 2 роки тому +9

      I'm giving up now then....near on 48, currently single, never married, no kids.
      I thought I was the sane one 🙃

    • @kamrudkd
      @kamrudkd 2 роки тому +24

      researchers consistently fail to address the magnitude of this issue.
      People ultimately need love and validation. When a man doesn't matter to a woman, when she doesn't gaze at him with a loving smile, tell him she wants him/needs him, that he matters to her.
      A lot of guys have never had that.
      This will cause disillusionment/isolation/soul sadness and mental health issues in men. No amount of material things, por* will be able to replace that.
      The problem in the west is 2 fold. Incels can't get a woman and the ones that do get one, end up in divorce/breaking up or being cheated on and losing more than the lady. So they swear off relationships and end up lonely all the same. (Mgtow)
      Both have the effect of creating lonely, angry, atomised ppl and broken society with plummeting birth rates. And can spell the end of that society.
      What are we seeing in the west now?
      Falling sperm counts, falling testosterone levels, births, marriage, and a rapidly ageing society, with catastrophic debt levels.
      White ppl used to have close family bonds but now they no longer keep ties with family and send old ppl to homes.
      Jobs for life are a thing of the past, from where they used to form friends.
      White ppl lost their matchmaking culture and used to marry form within their own tried and tested social circle.
      With all that now gone, internet dating and cold approaching/PUA random women that u know nothing about is the the way. Which can be toxic.

    • @RJ-is9ko
      @RJ-is9ko 2 роки тому +13

      85 percent of women around 45 and up do not take care of themselves. The simply let themselves go. Instant softie.

    • @renenetatm8222
      @renenetatm8222 2 роки тому +12

      but there is also a reason why you a single..? 🤨

  • @j.a.8970
    @j.a.8970 2 роки тому +51

    Learn how to be happy healthy and strong on your own. Theres no price too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. I've always found romance to be imposing and overly demanding. Seemingly no one today realizes that you need very little outside yourself to be content.

    • @iseektruth64
      @iseektruth64 2 роки тому +12

      Precisely! I remember reading something to the effect of, it is impossible to seduce a contented person. Contentment would seem to put a damper on romance...at least as we know it conventionally. I have found in my own life that while I am in a contented place in my life, I have no desire to be romantically attached to a person. The physical desire may still be there, and quite strong too, but I just have no desire to otherwise be around some of the people I have been the most physically attracted to when I am content in my life in other ways. Weird, I know, but true!

    • @bigcauc7530
      @bigcauc7530 2 роки тому +2

      I will say that i am absolutely happy on my own, but that is because i still have people in my life. Many types of relationships and things i do to help those around me. However, i cannot deny that a romantic partner who is loyal and wants to build together, without being joined at the hip, would bring me a feeling of completeness. It would be a different kind of happiness. It's this notion I have that i would rather share this life with someone who actively chose me every day because of course I'm already sharing it with family. That will never change.

    • @ybrueckner5589
      @ybrueckner5589 2 роки тому +1

      Well I have had a few extraordinary men in my life (widowed 2x) and I am content with solitude but it just seems sort of selfish I might look about some out of curiosity but not out of some obsessive state of mind

    • @j.a.8970
      @j.a.8970 2 роки тому +5

      All good points. However, the 4 of us all have different life experiences, trajectories, aptitudes, ineptitudes, propensites and genetic predispositions. While I'm a lone wolf introvert who thrives in solitude, it wouldn't suprise me if most people couldn't relate to my anecdote as I've stated it above. I love individuals but can't stand crowds...or humanity by extension lol. I've been single for about 11yrs (currently 38), was quite socially and romantically active throughout my 20's. But sometimes life changes us fundamentally via things that happen to us that shouldn't and/or things that don't happen to us that should. And while some lessons can be taught, others need to be lived. You're free to read into that as you see applicable...
      1000 different definitions of a life worth living, but certain immutable truths echo throughout all 1000.

    • @HickoryDickory86
      @HickoryDickory86 2 роки тому +3

      This obsessive, perceived need always to be in a romantic entanglement that most people seemly have is genuinely quite disturbing. People today simply do not know how to be comfortably and contentedly alone. Not lonely, mind you, just alone. There is a difference.
      I think this is one of the things that gets to the heart of the plethora of psychological issues we're facing societally.

  • @harpyeagle5814
    @harpyeagle5814 2 роки тому +11

    Realistically adjusting your standards is what most of us need to hear. But it's the LAST thing any of us wants to hear lmao!!

    • @AR-kl7nv
      @AR-kl7nv 2 роки тому

      Now, this, is a valid point!

    • @t7H2si0vß2
      @t7H2si0vß2 2 роки тому +1

      Who is this "Us", every guy I know has extremely low standards, all we want is a smart, loyal woman who doesn't weigh more than us.
      Women are the ones who need to lower their standards, and the data shows it.
      Men are expected to live up to EXTREME beauty standards, while women are constantly told its okay to be fat and lazy.

    • @t7H2si0vß2
      @t7H2si0vß2 2 роки тому +1

      @@AR-kl7nv Of course a women would agree that men should "lower their standards", all while women's standards are at an all-time high.
      Ever wonder why "plus-sized" women are always seen in the media nowadays, while tall, muscular men are plastered everywhere?
      Its because mens standards have dropped, and womens standards have risen.
      Yet you people still blame men for the problems YOU created.

  • @shmeef279
    @shmeef279 2 роки тому +19

    he really is a nerd, calculating statistical probabilities of pulling a woman lol love it

  • @britttullos8119
    @britttullos8119 2 роки тому +9

    Am I the only guy here that thinks this guy is next level hilarious because of some of the statements he made and words he used.? I respect brutal honesty

  • @tgheretford
    @tgheretford 2 роки тому +41

    The problem is, changing the dynamics of modern day dating, in particular online dating which is becoming the only game in town for most people, is not a financially sound strategy. Why would a free dating app change its strategy to ensure people pair off into successful, long-term relationships? They have a vested interest to keep unattractive men shadowbanned or paying highly for subscriptions whilst encouraging attractive men and women to join to add value to their service but not to the point where they won't need the app ever again. This is why matchmaking services charge thousands for each client - if they do their job correctly, they only ever need to do that job once!

    • @blackpillfitness9136
      @blackpillfitness9136 2 роки тому +14

      The majority of guys on dating apps should get off of there. Women mostly use it for validation, occasionally to set up an appointment with Chad. That’s it.

    • @MikaelMahsudjan
      @MikaelMahsudjan 2 роки тому

      @@blackpillfitness9136 You're right, but you need to find just one that is good one, just like on the street most will reject you, but feel validated that you approached them - but eventually you'll meet one that is the real deal.

    • @ste2158
      @ste2158 Рік тому +1

      excellent analysis

  • @rnt45t1
    @rnt45t1 2 роки тому +39

    I'm a man, and my main preference in a woman? Just don't be overweight. That's it.

    • @AR-kl7nv
      @AR-kl7nv 2 роки тому +2

      I'm a woman, prove yourself to be worth fighting for, then maybe we'll think about it

    • @rnt45t1
      @rnt45t1 2 роки тому +22

      @@AR-kl7nv fighting for what? You're health? Being able to live a long life? Not being fat?

    • @AR-kl7nv
      @AR-kl7nv 2 роки тому +2

      @@rnt45t1 well, you should be a good man to raise kids with, if you can't even prove yourself to be a worthy husband, why try to look good for you, or infact anyone?

    • @Real_DonaId_Trump
      @Real_DonaId_Trump 2 роки тому +9

      @@rnt45t1 you gotta be top 20% of men in looks. Don’t listen to her abt being a good husband, hit the gym my guy

    • @covfefe_drumpfh
      @covfefe_drumpfh 2 роки тому +3

      @@Real_DonaId_Trump
      What’s _20% in looks?_
      His expectation on a lady (not be overweight) is very reasonable.
      To me, I also pay a lot of attention to a man’s physique, very visible six packs and very cut muscles aren’t my thing. I am a face person. Sure, good physical shape matters a lot. Just not super scrawny but not super obese either.
      I find so many kinds of men’s physiques attractive as long as their shoulders are visibly broader than their waist; and like I said, overall shape matters more as long as a man isn’t super scrawny or super obese. And the face must be attractive.
      No, I’m not too picky about heigh: I rather be with a slightly shorter man, but who meets the physical part to a T, than a taller but lesser looking man.

  • @future62
    @future62 2 роки тому +19

    This generation is way too fixated on online dating. I think people love the idea of gamifying and finding "hacks" for dating success. But that misses a lot of the in person skills necessary for translating that success offline.

    • @MikaelMahsudjan
      @MikaelMahsudjan 2 роки тому +1

      What skills? Just go and fucking approach and TALK. Then ask if they want to meet for drinks sometimes or smth. If yes - good, go and do something fun together and TALK to each other. If no, repeat first step.

  • @bobz1736
    @bobz1736 2 роки тому +33

    Something that rarely gets mentioned but from my experience has an effect on a person's psychological makeup is where they are in the sibling structure. Ie first born, only child, youngest, large sibling group etc.

    • @Emma-dt5tg
      @Emma-dt5tg 2 роки тому +8

      Weird, just yesterday I was talking to a friend about this because we’re both youngest siblings and we realised that all of our longest-lasting and closest friendships are with fellow youngest siblings. Her boyfriend’s also the youngest, as is the guy I’m dating, and the two people at our work we always struggle to gel with are both firstborns. My older brother is married to a firstborn, too, as is her older sister. Could just be coincidence in a lot of cases but there’s definitely something in it.

    • @bobz1736
      @bobz1736 2 роки тому +2

      @@Emma-dt5tg - very interesting indeed. I'm a first born and so is my partner of 10 years. Obviously its not the only factor. In conversations with my partner about experiences as the first born (both with a number of siblings) - we were the guinea pig, the one who had to help most with other siblings, the first one to work and help support the family etc etc. Only then did I realise how much more it gave is in common...

    • @Emma-dt5tg
      @Emma-dt5tg 2 роки тому +4

      @@bobz1736 We think the main differences are that we had more laissez-faire parenting and that we grew up at constant risk of being beaten up, and were used to always being the least capable in any given scenario (slowest, the weakest etc.) and were never taken seriously. I think we’re a bit less worried about rule breaking and achievement, less respectful of authority, and generally ‘roll with the punches’ more, but we lack a certain confidence and drive that a lot of firstborns seem to have. We’re probably more likely to be accused of being manipulative but, again, you need to choose your words carefully if you want to avoid beatings and get hold of finite resources. Certainly, my brother and sister never ‘helped’ with anything, (to this day, they don’t help with caring for elderly or ill relatives), and that may not be typical, but I’m definitely the one who’s more family-oriented and my last-born friends tend to be the ones to stay local. Could be because I was still ‘daddy’s little girl’ when my siblings were already moving out. There was never any need for my siblings to support the family financially and both our parents always worked full time, so that might be a bit different to most - all families are different.

    • @bobz1736
      @bobz1736 2 роки тому +7

      @@Emma-dt5tg- some interesting incites.
      I'm the oldest of five. Two boys then three girls. I was taught to cook, clean and fix things to help the family. I felt more was expected of me and rose to the occasion. It gave me drive and motivation. My brother (next youngest sibling by 1.5 yrs) was almost the complete opposite. Maybe he felt it was a competitive scenario and decided not to take part. Despite being highly intelligent he didn't see the need to prove himself, gave up at school and couldn't hold down a decent job. He basically drank himself to death at 48 several years ago. The youngest of the siblings was my sister around 16 years younger than me. Right up until my mum's passing (at a good old age) she was her 'little girl'. My next youngest sister took this quite badly a for some time she was mum's 'little girl'.
      Sorry I've strayed off somewhat... you got me thinking.

    • @katiie7
      @katiie7 2 роки тому +1

      Also if they have sisters or only have brothers. Guys who have sisters from my experience soooo much more open to express emotions & know how to deal with our emotions better. The 3 guys I’ve been in relationships with that only had brothers.. very opposite. Even if they’re the youngest.. if they had a sister so much better

  • @Fujtajblus
    @Fujtajblus 2 роки тому +5

    I am not sure which study it was but one of the results was that the healthier and happier relationships are those where the woman is more conventionally attractive than the man.

  • @Dbulkss
    @Dbulkss 2 роки тому +47

    Most people are not mature enough to know what they NEED. Wanting is an immature way to looking at marriage. Love is fleeting and unstable. For marriage to work it needs to go deeper than just emotions. If not, you will end of divorced and MISERABLE.

    • @elinope4745
      @elinope4745 2 роки тому +9

      Replace the word "mature" with "self reflective" and I'll agree with you. It doesn't come with time, age or maturity. Self reflection is something that you learn how to do, it can be done by young and old alike and is absent in young and old alike.

    • @Dbulkss
      @Dbulkss 2 роки тому

      @@elinope4745 self reflective is more of a euphemism. Mature emphasizes that you are being immature by doing the opposite.

    • @Dbulkss
      @Dbulkss 2 роки тому +6

      @@elinope4745 during the time of the Roman empire era, Mature ADULT was achieved by 18. Today's standards are WEAK. Age doesn't mean anything in this context. These principles must be passed down by parents that have successful long-term marriages.

    • @elinope4745
      @elinope4745 2 роки тому

      @@Dbulkss There are those whom are over sheltered and over-protected to the point that they fail to develop important skills by important development points. That is a common problem in the world today. Many parents do not allow their children to "grow up". Such people are akin to perpetual children.

    • @kingearth3672
      @kingearth3672 2 роки тому +5

      Love dosen't have to be fleeting and unstable if both of the partners want to keep the love going. And plus people can want things such as love more than wanting their needs(food, water, shelter). And its possible to not feel like doing something such as staying in a marriage just because of "needs." But also, you don't need to feel miserable if you don't want, you can be fine within yourself no matter the circumstance. Your meaning may be of staying together even if romantic feelings fade. In that case, platonic love and care can still be there, and people may value love from their partner and not just want to be in a relationship to meet needs.

  • @Rofel_Wodring
    @Rofel_Wodring 2 роки тому +54

    I like how they both just glance over the data showing that a 1/10 woman trying to date a 10/10 dude has over twice the chance of succeeding. That data alone debunks that myth we're usually told that guys have impossible standards for women. It's women who have those impossible standards for men (not all but as the data shows, more women have them than men).

    • @jeroenverschaeve3090
      @jeroenverschaeve3090 2 роки тому

      In what ridiculous circles do you find yourself where it's the common theory that guys have impossible standards for women? Women have *always* been the selective force of nature, especially for vertebrates. The only way we got around this was arranged marriage (and encouraged monogamy). Women are generally picky, men generally just take what they can get (as the swiping data on Tinder suggests).

    • @danjones6702
      @danjones6702 2 роки тому +10

      yep i always knew women were a lot more shallow than men are.

    • @jeroenverschaeve3090
      @jeroenverschaeve3090 2 роки тому +1

      @@danjones6702 What do you mean with shallow?

    • @danjones6702
      @danjones6702 2 роки тому

      @@jeroenverschaeve3090 thats what google search is for if you dont know the definition of a word. as for women they mostly care about looks and wealth a lot more so than men. women are also shallow when it comes to other women as well plus themselves. men dont attack other men for what they look like, women do attack other women for what they look like and wear. how many guys wear make up compared to women? looks and appearances matter a lot more to women than men.

    • @ApesAmongUs
      @ApesAmongUs 2 роки тому +12

      I am highly suspect of that statement anyway. He said a 1 man asking out a 10 woman has a 14% chance of success, but a 5 man asking out a 5 woman doesn't have a fucking 14% chance. There would be no complaints about the dating market if average people had a 14% success rate at anything.

  • @parabob2359
    @parabob2359 2 роки тому +24

    All the grief I've had from women for saying I like boobs and bum and here they are demanding 6ft men.
    Try saying you want 36dd boobs and you'll be called a sexist or worse! However a preference for a 6ft man is what exactly? Lol

  • @sebastianhollmann9611
    @sebastianhollmann9611 4 місяці тому +1

    I think the reason for the non-correlation of classical physical attractivity parameters and relationship happiness may be due to the fact that the potential happiness bonus of attractivity has already been included in all of the sample elements as they have formed a relationship based on being *attracted* to one another. In order to quantify the effect of classical attractivity on relationship happiness, you'd have to form a control group with couples that don't feel attracted to one another (as much) to then find possible correlations in this regard as a basis for continued research....

  • @templeasylum7352
    @templeasylum7352 2 роки тому +5

    Early in my pursuit of Hollywood gigs I was forced to take on other jobs and found telemarketing to be an easy in-n-out job to find and then dump. In that sort of high pressure sales environment you get used to rejection, and then it all becomes a numbers game: the more you dial, the more you sell. Same with dating. Dating is just another sale. I ended up marrying a top Hollywood model. But I didn't vet her properly. So I had to break it off after 6.5 years. The other term you learn in sales: NEXT!

  • @stevensenator4804
    @stevensenator4804 2 роки тому +3

    Looks & status attract you -- personality keeps you. It is really pretty simple.

  • @satyricon451
    @satyricon451 2 роки тому +17

    Yeah, at a party or social event, whenever my personality got really outrageous, when I was in rare form, I'd get mad attention from a couple fairly attractive women, as in, they're putting their numbers in my phone. It was, uh interesting.

  • @zh1992
    @zh1992 Рік тому +2

    It’s insane how simple this is, but societal structure has blinded the vast majority of people to the fact that, the best way to find a partner that is compatible is to be yourself. It’s so obvious when you stop and think about it.

  • @morgezorge6387
    @morgezorge6387 2 роки тому +35

    Can confirm, trying to portray a bald headed metal freak got me many dates, it also was tiring and made me feel fake and unloved. Exagerated my already muted personality until i spirraled into full depression.

    • @morgezorge6387
      @morgezorge6387 2 роки тому +17

      @Mike J emocute girls :) Goth baddies :) Very rarely a cute nice girl that somehow likes a dark edge. But you certainly do attract women if you lean into an extreme as a normal guy. But it is exhausting, especially when you are an introvert like me :)

    • @budweiserchickenwings8672
      @budweiserchickenwings8672 2 роки тому

      @@morgezorge6387 "somehow". you probably had decent height and good facial structure, things like that. your average pudgy metal head with greasy hair does not win anything.

    • @janemike3048
      @janemike3048 2 роки тому

      Hey

    • @ramonmendoza2510
      @ramonmendoza2510 2 роки тому

      Makes sense. I'm into several things, some nerdy stuff, some "cool" stuff like playing electric guitar.
      My thought is just what you said, it would be really hard to stay on one extreme or the other and keep the "act" all the time.

    • @criss5405
      @criss5405 2 роки тому

      @@morgezorge6387 Go into extreme introversion - some women like mysterious guys.

  • @BGTuyau
    @BGTuyau 2 роки тому +1

    Some good points and essential questions worth considering here.

  • @hopebell2659
    @hopebell2659 2 роки тому +7

    I’m 5’2”, so as long as the guy is taller than me, then I don’t care. 6 feet is too tall for me. My husband is 5’8” and my first husband was 5’7”. I don’t understand wanting to date only 6’ tall men regardless of your own height.

    • @ironman8257
      @ironman8257 2 роки тому

      Wow, thank you for letting us know.

  • @Danaclerici
    @Danaclerici 2 роки тому +2

    Loved watching this !!!💗💗💗

  • @38dragoon38
    @38dragoon38 2 роки тому +32

    Human beings advertising themselves on the open "dating market." It's good to know that romance isn't dead! ❤️

    • @t7H2si0vß2
      @t7H2si0vß2 2 роки тому +6

      I hope thats sarcasm, romance is TOTALLY dead.

    • @38dragoon38
      @38dragoon38 2 роки тому +6

      @@t7H2si0vß2 I'm English so, yes, that was definitely sarcasm my friend!

    • @BlowitAllUp
      @BlowitAllUp 2 роки тому +15

      Romance is dead and feminism killed it lol

    • @Nocebonobo
      @Nocebonobo 2 роки тому +2

      @@officialthomasjames See this is bad advertising. You’re making yourself look like an incel :D

  • @sutats
    @sutats 2 роки тому +2

    Peacocking is still relevant today for attracting.

  • @Beeso
    @Beeso 4 місяці тому +1

    Shocker!
    The more you “Optimize” for it, the more it eludes you, that’s just poetic.
    Trying to see if you can date “out of your league” is like to trying to Fk a concept or “connect” with some type of friggin unlockable steam achievement.
    First thought is “the hell is wrong with these people?!” but hey if that is what they truly believe they want or do want I hope they do find it. Not out of spite but only then they find out if it’s worth it, if it’s “real” or not.

  • @MC-ze8wj
    @MC-ze8wj 2 роки тому +56

    Interesting, I hadn't really thought about this before but my husband is extreme in some of his personality traits and he lead with that and now that I think about it that attracted me to him. He is also unapologetically nerdy like this guy but also outdoorsy, traditional and rigid too. Kind of like Matt Walsh of the DW. Probably the only one that most people would think is okay to lead with is the outdoorsy aspect but he wasn't shy about any of it and I liked everything about him. We have a very happy marriage, together going on 13 years now. So anecdotally my experience follows what he said. We are also alike in a lot of our preferences and hobbies, values and life goals and we have the same face shape and hair color so we follow that too but I'm mixed race and he's white, I'm extremely short and he's tall so there are some differences.

    • @budweiserchickenwings8672
      @budweiserchickenwings8672 2 роки тому +1

      haha. ofcourse he is tall, and ofcourse you totally oversee the importance such a factor. you think your ancestors selected for which male was the biggest doofus?

    • @SkillzKillzBR
      @SkillzKillzBR 2 роки тому +3

      Congratulations. Happy for you two :)

    • @lavish_1717
      @lavish_1717 2 роки тому

      Was he attracted to your extremes ?

    • @MC-ze8wj
      @MC-ze8wj 2 роки тому +5

      @@lavish_1717 I am not sure, I don't think I have as strong personality traits as he does but I would guess that he was or he would not have married me. I've also changed a bit more than he has over the years so it's hard to remember for sure... think probably the most extreme thing was that I was strongly libertarian then and he liked that (it was close enough to his more traditional conservatism) and also I was very enamoured with him and many women might try to play coy or hide their true feelings so as not to seem to invested or needy at the start but I didn't do that.

    • @ariyaddna
      @ariyaddna 2 роки тому

      Aww! Gives me hope. :')

  • @rainbow9832
    @rainbow9832 Рік тому

    A very interesting video, good job Chris! And Seth's very fun and charismatic 😀. Will definitely check out the whole episode 🤘

  • @yoyoyo5621
    @yoyoyo5621 Рік тому +3

    omg i think this is true. the guy i liked the most meeting from dating app he stood out to me because he was very specific. he was just a sweetheart who went to see his parents every weekend and his life was really boring he just read books and went to hikes and didnt do social media or fancy travel or anything remotely exciting he was so low key and boring lol but that's what i really liked that about him cuz thats what i wanted. he wasn't much in looks but i was happy in his peaceful presence and cuz he was so predictable it made me feel safe
    wowww you really gotta be yourself eh ppl who are like everyone else like travel or skydiving pics trying to impress someone presenting something that looks just "socially acceptable and desired" i just ignore them and they dont catch my attention. im always looking for someone very specific and i only notice people who fit that criterea

  • @twogooddogs
    @twogooddogs 2 роки тому +1

    “Taking the objective is easy: Holding it will be hard”

  • @marieparker3822
    @marieparker3822 2 роки тому +7

    It could be that someone who feels they are not filmstar material in the looks department might make more effort to attend to other factors, like being conscientious or interesting or understanding or developing what talent they have.

  • @SkillzorZ021
    @SkillzorZ021 2 роки тому +3

    I always thought there were three parameters, looks, personality, and sanity. You can choose two.

  • @healthymindhappierlife5089
    @healthymindhappierlife5089 2 роки тому +6

    This is super challenging for me as someone who is both a nerd and usually the most fit guy in the gym. Lean into who you are? Be more extreme version to appeal to that subset? How do you do that if you are a stereotype contradiction?

  • @MrNoName7474
    @MrNoName7474 Рік тому +2

    This was surprisingly optimistic

    • @stevecooper7883
      @stevecooper7883 3 місяці тому

      Borderline delusional too. Ditch the apps and work on yourself first to be in your best physical shape, then join various social groups. It's a numbers game more now than ever before

  • @danielclarke8437
    @danielclarke8437 2 роки тому +10

    super interesting,
    Lived in Asia 6 years, had literally 1000s of matches(it was almost a crazy amount of matches,
    Came to London, few years ago, hardly any matches at all.
    Definitely different Bias, for Race Culture and what's normal.
    I'm now engaged, so not online dating last 2 years, met my Fiancé on there.

    • @SkillzKillzBR
      @SkillzKillzBR 2 роки тому

      Are London girls more promiscuous than Asian girls? lol

    • @MrKrushgutz
      @MrKrushgutz 2 роки тому

      What race is your fiancée?

    • @pinaypie4
      @pinaypie4 2 роки тому

      @@MrKrushgutz Asian ofcourse where he met in Asia

    • @MrKrushgutz
      @MrKrushgutz 2 роки тому

      @@pinaypie4 That makes sense. Asian women worship white men

  • @jeremylivock1233
    @jeremylivock1233 2 роки тому +93

    Fun Story on height: A good friend of mine who I´ve slept with a few years ago once said to me: "all the great guys were your height (I´m 5`5). Why is that?" and without a second of thingking I said: "we have no choice". And the answer kind of shook even me, because it is obvious: a 6ft tall guy who has alle the women at his disposal won´t give a crap about someone else, or even his own character development. Why should he? As soon as a woman realises that there is nothing than his 6 feet he just gets the next one. On the other side a dwarf like me has to work on everything else: do sports, get educated, learn to speak, have a great sense of humour etc. So women do themselves a great disservice by being only attracted to only 6 feet tall guys

    • @Fujtajblus
      @Fujtajblus 2 роки тому +1

      I would encourage you to stop living on the internet because the reality is absolutely different. I am 6'1 and that on its own has nothing to do with it. I am also fit, lean and have a beard. If you wanna mix race into it, I am white. Lastly I have money as I have really well paying job. So according to internet standards I must be like 9/10 and the only thing missing is having 8 inch dick... and I am also swimming in women. Nope. Big nope. If I do not turn on my charisma, I am invisible to women. Because I am that kind, nerdy dude. And my lifestyle is not necessarily big flashy adventure ride. Stop thinking superficial stuff makes it easy mode, it does not. Maybe in 'murica, I don't know. Lot's of complainers are from US, where I guess the superficialness is at its peak.

    • @TheLadyDelirium
      @TheLadyDelirium 2 роки тому +24

      I used to know a guy who was about your height and was a total ladies man to put it politely. Women loved him, he always had a group of women surrounding him when we went out. He didn't have a lot of money but he had a great personality and was good at complimenting and flirting with women. If he was on a dating site I doubt most of the women would have given him a chance. Him working on his personality worked great for him in real life.

    • @aeris4393
      @aeris4393 2 роки тому +2

      @@TheLadyDelirium have you heard about the concept of wearing a mask. That's that

    • @TheLadyDelirium
      @TheLadyDelirium 2 роки тому +6

      @@aeris4393 I'm confused by your comment.

    • @amysteriousviewer3772
      @amysteriousviewer3772 2 роки тому +14

      @@TheLadyDelirium I assume what he means is that his behaviour could have been him trying to compensate for what he perceived to be shortcomings (e.g. his height) which leads back to his original point of less physically attractive people having to put in more work and develop their personalities to appear more desirable.

  • @ronaldbeck1762
    @ronaldbeck1762 2 роки тому +18

    Men look for a pulse ... women look at dollar signs.

    • @mahtathegreat
      @mahtathegreat 2 роки тому +2

      men look for beauty which indicates healthy children. women look for traits that lead to making good money which indicates safety.

    • @ronaldbeck1762
      @ronaldbeck1762 2 роки тому +1

      @@mahtathegreat ... I guess expensive cars are safer and money can buy better cosmetic surgeons. Shopping is safer than working a job. Surrogates are a safer way to have a child.
      So, I guess you're right.

    • @user-yq7ud5vt2j
      @user-yq7ud5vt2j 2 роки тому +2

      For her future children. Who wants to raise poor kids who grow up with complexes and end up opening fire at society.. a woman whose partner does not do enough will havr mentally unstable sons and promiscuous daughters

    • @adambutler3266
      @adambutler3266 2 роки тому +1

      Pulse Vs Purse

    • @AR-kl7nv
      @AR-kl7nv 2 роки тому +1

      Men look for looks...so women look for that check

  • @philippedesaulniers
    @philippedesaulniers Рік тому +1

    The book he mentions, "Dataclysm" by Christian Rudder, is absolutely fascinating. Tons of data about how people actually date and what they actually like. Highly recommend!

  • @3lit3gn0m3
    @3lit3gn0m3 2 роки тому +5

    Speaking of increasing/decreasing chances, I'd say one of the oddest deal-breakers would be whether or not you drive or 'can' drive. I've never put this thought into practice, but to me the implications of not being reliable due to not driving is one of the biggest deal-breakers.
    This video is months old so it's unlikely that anyone will see this comment and reply, but figured I'd ask anyway.

    • @supitschillbro
      @supitschillbro 2 роки тому +1

      if you live in a major metro it’s less of an issue. and it’s less of an issue if you’re a woman. but rural men def need to be able to drive

    • @wyleecoyotee4252
      @wyleecoyotee4252 Рік тому +1

      Doesn't everyone drive?

    • @supitschillbro
      @supitschillbro Рік тому

      @@wyleecoyotee4252 no. globally it’s not the norm. it is the norm for americans outside of the Acela Corridor and Chicago tho lol. even everyone in LA drives

    • @wyleecoyotee4252
      @wyleecoyotee4252 Рік тому +1

      @@supitschillbro
      I wasn't aware of that as everyone I've ever known drives.

  • @oeckstei
    @oeckstei 2 роки тому +4

    Pretty much play to your strengths. The question is whether to cast a wide net or to be targeted in your ideal partner who can appreciate said strengths.

  • @Randomcharacters285
    @Randomcharacters285 2 роки тому +33

    Instead of leaning in to your extremes, why not just get ripped, smell nice, dress well, be well groomed, and have a secure job with good career prospects, this will attract way more women and then you can filter for the good ones amongst a pool of attractive women. Catering to your extremes in the hopes of finding that one attractive women who digs you is more of a long shot in my opinion.

    • @AnimeMovement
      @AnimeMovement 2 роки тому +9

      And doesn’t seem likely to yield the type of woman you were initially looking for.

    • @Gnomesmusher
      @Gnomesmusher 2 роки тому +15

      I think from their viewpoint they don't want to change into something they feel like they aren't. Like how that nerdy data scientist doesn't want or see himself being a ripped, well dressed stud and would rather just lean more into his true nerdy self.
      I don't really agree with that mindset but I also get that we can't all be ripped well dressed studs. I personally, am somewhat nerdy but I also decided to workout, dress better and just take care of myself. I can be nerdy AND fit and good looking. But I guess some people think you have to lean into a stereotype.

    • @Randomcharacters285
      @Randomcharacters285 2 роки тому +7

      @@Gnomesmusher Thats a fair analysis, your right not everyone can be a ripped badass, but regardless of your mental proclivities you must at least be fairly in shape and take pride in your appearance, as you mentioned being nerdy and good looking are not mutually exclusive and if you think you can't be be both or at least work on them then you won't do as well in the dating scene. Women are attracted to well groomed, well-dressed, intelligent, in-shape men, it's a fact of life, so as a man you have to work on those qualities. Unless your happy being a slop which means you'll most likely attract women who are slobbish and don't take care of their appearance and let's be honest no man want's that.

    • @josecarlosxyz
      @josecarlosxyz 2 роки тому +1

      It takes too much effort if it was easy everybody would do it

    • @nicolasoliveira4903
      @nicolasoliveira4903 2 роки тому

      @@Randomcharacters285 Certainly. Excellent idea of ​​yours. Every man will try his best to get approval from obese women and women who have never tried for anything in their lives. Damn, what a beautiful way to live.

  • @ligafftheindifferent3495
    @ligafftheindifferent3495 2 роки тому +23

    Hmmm I was polarizing and all the women went one direction....away. I did eventually fix this issue, but my point is that my out of the box qualities never attracted any women. For example, a man who is short or handicapped is simply less appealing to all women. He might find a partner, but it is because he had something else going on. Simply being on some extreme is NOT the key because some traits are simply driving women away. There just are not women who are into short guys or handicapped guys.

    • @augustek5382
      @augustek5382 2 роки тому +3

      that is called natural selection. However, there are a lot of very short women that would be okay with short men if a guy is nice and works hard and has values that would match theirs.

    • @Joshfw892
      @Joshfw892 2 роки тому +7

      @@augustek5382 no its sexual selection.

    • @simonsays6481
      @simonsays6481 2 роки тому

      I’m curious what the polarised version of you was. The nerd guy, the goth guy, the mysterious shy guy? Which was it? Just interested

    • @benrex7775
      @benrex7775 2 роки тому +1

      @@simonsays6481 Those are positive traits you listed, at least for some people. There is also the stinky guy, the hateful guy, the nagging guy, the guy with no opinion.

    • @avaceleste
      @avaceleste 2 роки тому +1

      I truly believe that there is someone for everyone. The world is quite diverse 🙏

  • @unnecessaryapostrophe4047
    @unnecessaryapostrophe4047 2 роки тому +19

    So having a personality and confidence is attractive? Who knew? 😄

    • @budweiserchickenwings8672
      @budweiserchickenwings8672 2 роки тому +8

      it's not. our ancestors didn't select for which brony could tell the funniest joke.

    • @unnecessaryapostrophe4047
      @unnecessaryapostrophe4047 2 роки тому +1

      @@budweiserchickenwings8672 You have a strange understanding of what "having a personality and confidence" means.

  • @ligafftheindifferent3495
    @ligafftheindifferent3495 2 роки тому +4

    9:45
    I have been saying this for years. A lot of women simply don't understand. Chad is a cad and he is not paring off anytime soon and unless you are hot AND a wonderful human being, he certainly isn't pairing off you YOU, especially if you are over 30.

    • @thehylander266
      @thehylander266 2 роки тому +2

      Problem is most women think they’re hot wonderful human being…

    • @covfefe_drumpfh
      @covfefe_drumpfh 2 роки тому

      I’d say that what he said in 9:39 is very true, and the reason I landed my husband of 10+ years.
      I did not lower my standards. I’d say I did quite the opposite (but non physical standards), actually.
      But rather, I changed what audience I _advertised_ myself.
      My _type_ up to that point was rather restrictive to artsy types and they needed to be pale and brunet. So I decided to broaden the scope of hobbies and opted for blonds instead. And boom! Almost immediately met my current hubs. It’s incredible what a tiny change in audience and physique could do.

  • @Mrs.Silversmith
    @Mrs.Silversmith 2 роки тому +2

    The initials thing is sooo funny, I know many couples where both of their first names start with the same letter.

  • @admirallightningbolt
    @admirallightningbolt 2 роки тому +4

    On dating not hot people: if I don’t find them attractive, I will simply just not care about them as much. I won’t want to have sex with them as much, I won’t put up with as much difficulties in the relationship, I won’t go as much out of my way for them. I just won’t be a great partner if I’m not sexually attracted to them. So I feel it’s almost wrong for me to date someone I’m not attracted to

    • @ste2158
      @ste2158 Рік тому

      and therein lies the main problem. Chris talks about adjusting standards to potentially see a new "untapped pool of prospects," but i think that's just euphemizing ugly people. We all want to date beautiful people. It's just now with dating apps, we can play behind the screen and filter for our exact type, whether they'll go for us or not. Dating apps just extract and amplify our innate behaviors and desires

    • @leedlbagginshield8492
      @leedlbagginshield8492 4 місяці тому

      so true

  • @ChristineNavarroTV
    @ChristineNavarroTV 2 роки тому +2

    Is there supposed to be a point made here? I can’t seem to get a clear-cut answer from him, without him going on another tangent. What’s the point of this clip? He doesn’t sound like a person to ask such questions.

  • @rrwholloway
    @rrwholloway 2 роки тому +15

    The only way to win with dating apps is not to play.

    • @beewest5704
      @beewest5704 2 роки тому

      Its like gambling the house always win.

  • @zoya8201
    @zoya8201 Рік тому

    please more of these

  • @cody_go_create
    @cody_go_create 2 роки тому +14

    Long story short…. Extroversion, competency and authenticity go a LONG way.
    “Nerding it up” lol

    • @mario125ww
      @mario125ww 2 роки тому +1

      Extroversion roughly translates to confidence unfortunately. When people say be confident, they usually mean become loud and say what is on your mind. An introvert won't ever do this because their mind process thoughts internally naturally.

    • @budweiserchickenwings8672
      @budweiserchickenwings8672 2 роки тому

      you'll find that in actual really real life, it doesn't get you anywhere.

    • @cody_go_create
      @cody_go_create 2 роки тому

      @@budweiserchickenwings8672 speak for yourself

    • @budweiserchickenwings8672
      @budweiserchickenwings8672 2 роки тому

      @@cody_go_create i do. and for many other men living in reality.

    • @cody_go_create
      @cody_go_create 2 роки тому

      @@budweiserchickenwings8672 fair enough!

  • @prschuster
    @prschuster 2 роки тому +7

    Being extreme makes you stand out for the few women that would be attracted to your unusual type. Makes sense. I'm going for the dark elderly acoustic guitar playing goth persona. Wish me luck.

    • @davids_d3246
      @davids_d3246 2 роки тому

      😅🤞All the best man! im too "nice guy"
      i have to think another option 🧐...

  • @solevis2221
    @solevis2221 2 роки тому +6

    We have a source for "Activities that give the most happiness" Data Chart? Would be super interested in seeing it.

  • @Pssst.ByTheWay
    @Pssst.ByTheWay Рік тому +1

    Not another one saying just be yourself I’ve been hearing this from pretty red pill sources and it grinds my gears but it seems to be true being yourself is long-term sustainable while wearing a child mask is not at some point you will slip up plus you won’t resent yourself for having to hide who you are or resent the other person for never being able to actually connect with them without fear of being left for who you are
    There are lots of reasons to lean into who you are actually unapologetically. And the confidence to lean into your person unapologetically is a real turn on for women
    Go figure this some mad things right here

  • @nosotrosloslobosestamosreg4115
    @nosotrosloslobosestamosreg4115 2 роки тому +39

    Fisrt lesson... never take advice from women.
    second lesson... read first lesson again.

    • @Madonnalitta1
      @Madonnalitta1 2 роки тому +2

      First lesson, check dictionary. Second lesson, check it again.

    • @nosotrosloslobosestamosreg4115
      @nosotrosloslobosestamosreg4115 2 роки тому +3

      @@Madonnalitta1 My bad... since english is not my native language, I have to check my books again. Thank you.

    • @StalinLovsMsmZioglowfagz
      @StalinLovsMsmZioglowfagz 2 роки тому +1

      @@Madonnalitta1 not even a native SPEAKER, KAREN. This is why men hate feminists.

    • @trock7542
      @trock7542 2 роки тому +3

      @@Madonnalitta1 who cares its youtube comments section not a formal letter. Wait a letter wtf is it 1950! Loosen up.

    • @Elizabeth-kn4jh
      @Elizabeth-kn4jh 2 роки тому +4

      If you want to date women then you should listen to them…

  • @Hawtload
    @Hawtload Рік тому +2

    girls never gave a crap about me in high school
    then I dyed my hair blue for a week
    ended up with my first girlfriend

  • @moneylineparlay105
    @moneylineparlay105 2 роки тому +25

    Him: “ she was into me because of my nerdiness”
    Her: first question : “what do you do for a living”
    It’s amazing how guys cope

    • @GodisgudAQW
      @GodisgudAQW 2 роки тому +3

      When did he say she asked him about his occupation?

    • @moneylineparlay105
      @moneylineparlay105 2 роки тому +9

      @@GodisgudAQW doesn’t have to say, women ask every beta male that. She didn’t choose him because he is nerdy, she chose him because he has a high paying career. Lol you think she would’ve chosen him if he worked at a comic book store

    • @wyleecoyotee4252
      @wyleecoyotee4252 2 роки тому +12

      It's normal for people to meet to ask about their jobs. It's part of conversation.

    • @stephenlaswell4341
      @stephenlaswell4341 2 роки тому

      His whole point is that it’s unwise for us to do so if we’re optimizing for happiness- male and female. Are some people superficial? Yes. But plenty of women and men are capable of overcoming superficiality- and men are often more guilty than women of failing to do so. So keep your misogynist talking points to yourself

    • @covfefe_drumpfh
      @covfefe_drumpfh 2 роки тому

      @@GodisgudAQW
      Or, she just like them because of their smarts?
      The 2nd thing I look in a man is his intellect (first is his physique). So, I’d ask him about movies, books, shows, music, art, etc he may enjoy.

  • @whitebroccoli694
    @whitebroccoli694 2 роки тому +2

    Perfect reason to finally get my face tattooed

  • @__-bz7wh
    @__-bz7wh 2 роки тому +27

    I'm sorry but a 1/10 man does NOT have a 14% chance of romance with a 10/10 woman. Also seven 14% chances is not 98%, despite the fact 7*14=98.

    • @neiljohnson7914
      @neiljohnson7914 2 роки тому +4

      He said 30 chances, not seven. Why are you inventing a reality in order to conform your biases? He is actually pretty bang on. The exact probability of success after 30 tries is 98.9% to one decimal place. So smarten up and stop your nonsense.

    • @wyleecoyotee4252
      @wyleecoyotee4252 2 роки тому +2

      The 1/10 man certainly believes he's entitled to the 10/10 woman 🤣

    • @budweiserchickenwings8672
      @budweiserchickenwings8672 2 роки тому

      yeah. its not a numbers game. us former blue pilled men have collectively done enough research to know what it's like. and then he even drops that 14%. lol, what a joke.

    • @budweiserchickenwings8672
      @budweiserchickenwings8672 2 роки тому +3

      @@neiljohnson7914 he's bang on? i agree he probably is one some type of crazy substance.

    • @neiljohnson7914
      @neiljohnson7914 2 роки тому +1

      @@budweiserchickenwings8672 I did the math. He's got a 98.9% chance after thirty tries. If you disagree with that I will show you the math.

  • @EinSofQuester
    @EinSofQuester 2 роки тому +2

    It's true, women are completely turned off by men who are academically smart and have intellectual interests.

    • @kingdoge69
      @kingdoge69 Рік тому

      It’s funny too because a lot of them say they like those traits, yet go date the good looking and tall idiot who doesn’t have a job or car…

  • @NickatYouTubeSucksJK
    @NickatYouTubeSucksJK 2 роки тому +5

    This is great but there’s no chance the stats on the 1 asking out a 10 are true unless the 1 is actually a 7 and that 7 is a guy asking out a woman…or a rich 1

  • @WheatWaffles
    @WheatWaffles 2 роки тому +10

    The similarities thing talked about at the end isn’t always true. As a man with red hair I can assure you red haired women disdain men with red hair. I’ve never seen a red hair-red hair couple in my life

    • @ChrisWillx
      @ChrisWillx  2 роки тому +2

      Gotta be careful of that dominant gene man.

    • @Grift76600
      @Grift76600 2 роки тому +2

      Also, the appreciaition of red hair is quite different in the mind of people:
      Red haired woman: (mostly) Hot
      Red haired man: not the same.
      (I'm not taking a dig at you Waffles, i speak about popular psyche)

    • @fiyinobayanmusic
      @fiyinobayanmusic 2 роки тому

      I have! They are so cute and their kids are all red heads!

    • @sawderf741
      @sawderf741 2 роки тому

      Grow a beard.

    • @SelfImprovement-
      @SelfImprovement- 2 роки тому

      Also Asian Women prefer JBW over an Asian dude if given the chance

  • @giantent763
    @giantent763 2 роки тому +4

    8:50 what he is describing is the 'hot crazy matrix'

  • @hast0408
    @hast0408 Рік тому +3

    The whole %85 of women on bumble requiring 6 feet minimum is outright hilarious.

  • @memastarful
    @memastarful 2 роки тому +4

    I'm very shy about dating. I get so awkward sometimes meeting new men especially if I find them attractive.

    • @toddjohnson271
      @toddjohnson271 2 роки тому +9

      Try being a guy.....an endless stream of most likely rejection.

    • @memastarful
      @memastarful 2 роки тому

      @@toddjohnson271 oh I never thought of it that way. I'm so sorry you've gone through that

    • @toddjohnson271
      @toddjohnson271 2 роки тому +9

      @@memastarful that's not just my experience....that's all guys. But you cope with by becoming better. It doesn't define you.

    • @memastarful
      @memastarful 2 роки тому

      @@toddjohnson271 amen

    • @coops1992
      @coops1992 2 роки тому +1

      Well, you ain't some good looking, confident Stacy. Those have no problems starting flirts with men themselves :))

  • @monadamus42
    @monadamus42 Рік тому

    Great video.

  • @danielnaberhaus5337
    @danielnaberhaus5337 2 роки тому +12

    If you are a guy proritize having a 6 pack. Doesn't matter if you are bald and ugly, if you've got even a little lean muscle and a 6 pack you just increased your number by 2 points. It's worth the effort to have the confidence and peace of mind.

    • @danjones6702
      @danjones6702 2 роки тому +1

      lmao im 40 and lean and muscular and bald and probably a 5 because my face isnt that attractive, ive never been on a date as women always treated me like i was nothing. i disagree with what you said. as the face is more important than most anything else other than money

    • @blackpillfitness9136
      @blackpillfitness9136 2 роки тому

      Good advice, man. You’re right. Separate yourself from the herd and be different, but in a positive way.

    • @chrisf247
      @chrisf247 2 роки тому

      Depends. If your genetics aren't great and you spend all your time in the gym to look somewhat muscular, your time would be better spent elsewhere. In that case you should work out enough to stay decently fit but not worry about a six pack...

    • @bro918
      @bro918 11 місяців тому

      Not 2 points lmao. Maybe 1 point, depending on what genetic factors are holding you back

  • @SB_McCollum
    @SB_McCollum 2 роки тому +16

    @10:30 The most successful pairings I’ve ever seen are people who marry either someone who shares some of their facial features (you would look at them and think they were siblings, or in the case of Dec-May pairings father-daughters) or someone like their opposite parent (men marry women just like mom and women marry their dads.) Never underestimate the attraction to yourself or the familiarity of family.

    • @toddjohnson271
      @toddjohnson271 2 роки тому

      I'm not attracted to my mother's gig at all...in the least,. cra cra. But yes, overall the psychology leans that way in most cases.

  • @JSF_7
    @JSF_7 2 роки тому +22

    I can only speak from my own experience but being attracted or not to similarities is dependant on what the similarities are. For example with tangible features like eye colour, hair etc. I have noticed that people tend to be a lot more interested in something totally opposite. My personal example would be that for no good reason I have always had a strong preference for blonde women and I think it's because it just stood out as out of the norm (I have jet black hair and bold eyebrows for example). On the flip side the vast majority of my matches online are from blonde women too. The only tangible feature that goes against this would probably be height.
    As for intangible features like personality, interests it may be that the initial attraction to something familiar is deemed more safe as you do not know the other person at all and it is something to latch onto to sell yourself on the idea that you both would be compatible.
    But hey just my opinion.

    • @criss5405
      @criss5405 2 роки тому +3

      Middle Easterners have a preference for fair skin and lighter hair, it may be their perception of what is beautiful because it's rare, but in the Western world, I saw many people liking and wanting partners from the same background. Perhaps they like their genetic heritage. Nowadays 'multicultists' try to mix everything and promote social engineering, but it will backfire because it's too artificial and people start to see the other side of mixing opposites.

    • @themarathoncontinues4211
      @themarathoncontinues4211 2 роки тому

      @@DG-kr8pt there is still social conditioning on what features are considered attractive or not. I’m not saying it’s racism, but it is what it is.
      A lot of the features associated with blackness will traditionally favour black men, the same way a lot of the features associated with asians favour asian women.

  • @yew6981
    @yew6981 2 роки тому +39

    This is funny. This dude thinks his girl is into him for his nerdiness when in reality it's for his money.

    • @kingearth3672
      @kingearth3672 2 роки тому +6

      How do you know? And "nerdiness" or his passion for things seen as "nerdy" may just be one of the reasons his partner chose to be his partner, but again, how do you know?

    • @AdelleRamcharan
      @AdelleRamcharan 2 роки тому

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @realmadrid-cx8yd
      @realmadrid-cx8yd 2 роки тому +3

      u mad hahahaha

    • @fitnessen2860
      @fitnessen2860 2 роки тому +3

      Here we go 🙄…

    • @AdelleRamcharan
      @AdelleRamcharan 2 роки тому

      @@fitnessen2860 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @BrianDeCosta
    @BrianDeCosta 2 роки тому +6

    Chris' aesthetics make this guy look like he's filming with a gameboy pocket

  • @amerhamad4577
    @amerhamad4577 2 роки тому +2

    I used to have a friend who was tall and very good looking. His problem was that his personality sucked. He would always get girls in the beginning and then get ignored later on. Looks are not the same as attractiveness.

    • @kingdoge69
      @kingdoge69 Рік тому

      “He would always get girls”
      “Looks are not the same as attractiveness”
      I think you meant that looks don’t guarantee a successful relationship, which is true sometimes, but not always

  • @trock7542
    @trock7542 2 роки тому +21

    I’m sure Chris does very well on these apps and he’s probably still single because of that.

    • @joblakelisbon
      @joblakelisbon 2 роки тому

      Course - the guys obviously slaying puss. He was a Newcastle club promoter for a decade and he's a ripped, muscular guy. Even without Tinder he would be a monster.

    • @trock7542
      @trock7542 2 роки тому

      @@joblakelisbon yup

    • @kenclarke5966
      @kenclarke5966 2 роки тому

      Ahahaha

    • @foysollee750
      @foysollee750 2 роки тому

      Is not Chris's fault just because this girls don't want to f*** you!!!

    • @criss5405
      @criss5405 2 роки тому

      Not for long, he is famous, charming and increases his chance to find an attractive woman with other qualities as well. Good strategy.