5 FIRST TIME MOM MISTAKES TO AVOID During Pregnancy + Labor
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- Опубліковано 22 сер 2024
- If you’re a FIRST TIME MOM, you need to watch this!
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When it comes to labor and delivery and becoming a first time mama, there are some things that you can do and not do to set yourself up for a happier, healthier, and easier labor and postpartum.
From timing contractions to when to go to the hospital in labor to picking an OBGYN or midwife and more, I share with you some pregnancy and labor and delivery tips that can greatly impact your birthing and postpartum experience.
Whether you’re wanting an unmedicated natural birth or you’re planning to labor with an epidural, childbirth education is going to equip you to have an empowering experience you love!
No more stressing about how to give birth or how to have a baby, Mama! I’ve got you!
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DISCLAIMER
All content and information in this video is for informational and educational purposes only, does not constitute medical, psychological or health advice of any kind and I do not warrant that the information presented herein is free of any errors or omissions. I am not providing medical, health care, nutrition therapy or coaching services to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any kind of physical ailment, mental or medical condition.
Although I strive to provide accurate general information, the information presented here is not a substitute for any kind of professional advice, and you should not rely solely on this information. Always consult a professional in the medical and health area for your particular needs and circumstances prior to making any medical or health related decisions. For your health related questions, please seek the advice of a licensed physician or any other qualified health care provider immediately.
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Built To Birth, Inc and Bridget Teyler will not be responsible or liable in any way for any injury, loss, damages, costs or expenses suffered by you in relation to this video or its content. You are responsible for your own safety.
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I am a Lamaze certified Childbirth Educator, a DONA certified Birth Doula, Prenatal & Postnatal Fitness Specialist, and Certified Breastfeeding Counselor in the San Francisco Bay Area! For more information and resources, come find me at builttobirth.com
#BuiltToBirth
I delivered my first child in August.😊 I had a membrane sweep in the morning at 40+3 weeks (and I was already 4 cm dilated and 80% effaced without feeling Baxton-Hicks). When my contractions started 1 hour after my membrane sweep, I continued my day as usual (preparing a soup for lunch, etc.). I didn't timed my contractions. During the afternoon, I did some yogaball, I used heat and some pressure points on my back, I listenned to your birth meditations while breathing, I took a bath. After the bath, I felt my contractions getting closer so I decided to time them: they were 2 to 4 minutes apart. We decided to pack our car slowly to go to the hospital. Half a hour after, I started having a little nausea so I said to my partner: ok now we go! We live 10-12 minutes from the hospital only. When I arrived, I was 9.5 cm dilated and I delivered naturally my baby within 30 minutes with only 11 minutes of pushing! I still can't believe it went so smoothly and that the pain wasn't that bad at home. (The intensity went up during the last 30 min on the hospital tho!) I'm amazed that my body was able to do this since I tough I had a low pain threshold and tough I might need an epidural! 😆 Such a great experience!!! ❤️
Well done mama and congratulations!! I hope I have an experience like yours :)
Your story is truly inspiring! Congratulations on your new bundle of joy
Woooooow congrats 💛🤩🤩🤩
Your delivery sound’s amazing and would like mine to go as yours lol I’m 40 + 1 day
So beautiful.
1. staying with the first obgyn they visit
2. spending more time on the nursery than postpartum planning
3. timing surges and going into birth mode right away
4. activating the phone tree (sending mass message out as soon as process begins)
5. going to hospital too early during labor
❤
Thanks for the sum up of work!
Thank you!
For all the women who don’t have the option to interview several providers due to finances, etc…that’s also okay.
Thanks
or it's not ok. the health care system in the US is a complete joke
I researched the providers and the reviews and used that to guess who I'd fit with more, some had good reviews but the personality being described didn't sound like a good fit for me and such
Or if you are in Canada better work with any OBGYN accepting new patients. Health Care System is horrible, I am on week 7, and have just been able to find a doctor and my first ever appointment is in 6 weeks 😣🥲
Or if you're in an area where you have no say on who your care provider is...
Thank you for not only normalizing, but advocating for not “activating the phone tree!” My partner and I have decided not to notify anyone that won’t be actively involved in/present at the birth when I go into labor so I can labor in peace and not feel pressure to update others. I’ve already been told by some that my decision is “abnormal,” “unexpected,” and “weird,” but I know myself and what I need to stay present and focused during labor.
That's normal. We are going to do the same. Inform family and friends after the baby arrives and we all had a bit of rest.
That’s a good idea. I didn’t do that with my first, and my phone kept going off while I was trying to labor and really irritated me. I ended up telling my husband to put both our phones on airplane mode because I could not handle it! Then he did all the calls after. Ha.
I guess that depends a lot on your country because here in France only the birthing partner updates anyone on start of labor: they have to tell their boss. Usually the parent's moms/parents are told as well but it's just because we feel so close to them in that moment :)
My husband and I plan to do exactly this as well.
I am currently 40+3 and been booked in for an induction and we aren't telling anyone at all that it's been booked.
We have told family they will find out once baby has been born. My mother was very unhappy with this decision and tried to convince me otherwise multiple times but I'm sticking to what I want and doing what's best for me, my husband and my baby.
@Rachel Rachel I was very happy to be able to cuddle into my mother's arms after giving birth and for that I needed to tell her in advance that labor had started. Hormones hit me hard hahaha. Don't hesitate to change your mind if you feel that need too. That being said, good job on keeping your needs first! And strength to you for the days to come. My little one is 7weeks old today and it still feels like labor started yesterday. She's just so much bigger 🤗🥰
I was at first upset with my OB. He told me come into the hospital when "I couldn't take the intensity of the surges anymore"...I didn't feel that was very scientific based on all the info online. But I took his advice and labored in a hotel room near the hospital (we live an hour from town, it was the best! Unlimited hot water for showers/baths plus the hotel gave us a discount cause I was in labor 😀 ) Anyway, after 24 hours of labor, I knew I couldn't handle the intensity anymore. Went to the hospital and I was fully dialated! No intervention and less than an hour of pushing....I guess he knew what he was talking about LOL.
I would have loved if my provider had had a policy like that! That way support is tailored to the individual needs of the one giving birth rather than an arbitrarily defined standard of 'active labour'.
He’s actually correct! You shouldn’t go at the first whim. I took a birthing class, and we learned the same thing. Basically, if you can talk and chat with family and friends on the phone excitedly, it’s not yet time. Some women are the exception to that, but for the most part, that’s the rule.
I had my second baby 6 days ago and made it to the hospital
You are a superstar! I hope I have a birth like yours! 🥰
I have been watching your videos since I found out I was pregnant. I will be 35 weeks tomorrow and your videos have made me more confident and less fearful about giving birth. Thank you Bridget!!
Awe! Congratulations and good luck!! You’ll do great and your baby will be perfect and beautiful 💖
@@candaceestrada5744 Thank you!!!
Saaame. 35 weeks Dec 27th
You won gratulation
Hey girl! I’m 35 weeks, have u delivered yet? Hope u r well!
I'm 32 weeks and have been watching your videos before I even got pregnant! This is my first pregnancy and my husband and mom are telling me that we're leaving to the hospital (a whopping 6 minute drive) as soon as my labor starts and I just laugh at them! They will play nice and I will say when we go
How did it go? Did you have your baby already?
Postpartum planning!!! Yes! We don't live in a culture that acknowledges the value in children. I personally had much less support that I expected to have after my first was born. I had moderate/severe postpartum depression and a difficult, colicky baby. I would get her crying stuck in my head like you would get a song stuck in your head. I was also working full-time with her by my side (admin work). She hated the car seat and I dreaded every red light. We didn't bond until she was 18 months old (it was Pavarotti, we both love music and opera). Around 9 months postpartum, I began taking sam-e, which really helped me feel better.
And please don't misunderstand! I had parents and in-laws nearby, who loved this girl and a church family that were thrilled by her birth! But frankly, everyone has their own lives. My parents were still working full-time. My sister lived in another state. My in-laws don't have a "service" mentality, and are hoarders. My husband also works during the day. What was I supposed to ask from anyone? I had to go through that experience, I think, to toughen up and get some real expectations drilled into me. Nothing toughens you up like motherhood.
Even still, I had a repeat episode of postpartum depression after my second was born. Much less severe, and I was able to recognize it and address it quickly.
Nearly 34 weeks with my 3rd, an adopted embryo. I do still fear the postpartum period. I would love to have a baby and enjoy that special time. I've been working with a homeopath on the long-term issues I have. I'm addressing stress points in my life and implementing strategies to improve them. I've got a chest freezer with a goal of 45 meals (I'm at 34 right now), and quick and easy ideas for dinners when we're not heating one of those up.
TL/DR: Please get some dinners frozen and ready to heat up, or start hoarding gift cards to places that deliver food lol!
Also, if you get depressed, try sam-e to give you an edge as you recover. Many have found it comparable to SSRIs, without needing to go on prescription medication.
Your child is beautiful, and so are you.
I am confused when I hear “to interview different OBs and midwives” because my first visit with my midwife cost me $192.
Soon as my OBGYN told me that pregnancy is awful and labor is awful I started looking for a widmife as this is my first pregnancy and I really did NOT like what she had to say about pregnancy or labor as I came with a list of questions and I don’t think she enjoyed the questions I had asked, therefore I am choosing to which to a midwife. I am 30 weeks along and I wish I would’ve done it sooner but I’m glad I still have a chance to transfer
Yeah same. I had an OBGYN who had been doing it for 20+ years or so. I had all of these questions because I was thinking of doing it naturally and wanted to know more about positioning. She answered only as a medical professional and didn't leave any room for discussion. She would answer matter-of-factly and that was that. We ended up moving so when I told her we wouldn't be able to come to her anymore, she was ready to run out of the room and be done with us 😅.
How did your experience go?😊
My first is due this august and I switched from an OB to a midwife and it was the best decision this far! So kind and nurturing and I truly feel like I will get the birth experience I desire by having them by my side. ❤️
Also, totally looking into a PF therapist now that you mentioned it!! Thank you ❤️
As a first timer who had a very quick labour (under 20 hours) I think more educational content on this kind of experience is really needed. It’s true most first timers will need to be patient through labour, but some of us really don’t which is really tricky to navigate when everyone around you insists labour will take forever and makes it difficult to get the support you need in the later stages of labour. Would love to see a video on the topic!
I took a birthing class for that. Bradley method. It’s fantastic. We learned about all the different aspects of pregnancy, labor and delivery, plus we learned about what to do in different birthing situations, including when you have failed to progress.
Both my mother and his mother had all their kids in less than 20 hours. In fact 3 of the 4 of those kids were born within 12. So I'm a little worried mine will go really fast.
My first baby was born within 3.5 hours of labour beginning so I'm very glad the birthing centre agreed to me going in when my contractions were still 10 mins apart. I was 20 mins from there and arrived only about 25 minutes before my son was born (& I was 37 years old)!
Just had my second baby a couple of weeks ago. My contractions stayed 8 mins apart into active labor and were 4 to 5 mins apart as I was 9cm - all unmedicated. It wasn’t until they broke my water at 9cm that my contractions then got 2 to 3 mins apart and I pushed after just 3 contractions in the “9cm” zone. So not every single labor is cookie cutter. I didn’t even think I was in active labor because my water was in tact and the pain was about a 7 for me. So just trust the professionals, trust your body, call the midwife or go to the hospital when you feel like you are deep into labor. Timing may not be everything, pain level may not be everything.
1. staying with the first obgyn they visit
2. spending more time on the nursery than postpartum planning
3. timing surges and going into birth mode right away
4. activating the phone tree (sending mass message out as soon as process begins)
5. going to hospital too early during labor
ua-cam.com/video/0Yzsh-vYIA4/v-deo.html
# 2 is really good! I spent time setting up our nursery to be a safe haven for me and/or my husband instead of a “baby room”. We had a comfortable chair, a phone charger, water, snacks, book, soft lighting, blankets and pillows.
This was CRUCIAL in the first three months, as we had a place to escape to with baby while the other slept. We used the “nursery” (I.e. getaway room) every single day!
This comment was so useful to me, I screenshotted it and saved it to my future parenting Pinterest board! 😆 Thank you for sharing stuff like this. I don't have any kids yet, but my husband and I want to start soon, so I'm studying up now. I'm so grateful you left this comment -- I never would've thought of making more of a comfort room for ME! Just, thank you.
ua-cam.com/video/0Yzsh-vYIA4/v-deo.html
Mistake #1....not everyone has the option of trying out a bunch of providers :/
yup, I came here to say that as well. I was lucky to get a prenatal appointment in my city at all. Now I will have to stick with that doctor even though I don´t like her because it´s nearly impossible to find another one with availability in the next few months.
I watched so many of your videos pn labour & how to cope with a natural birth before I had my baby 12 days ago.
I ended up going to the hospital for reduced movement. And the babies heart variation on the CTG wasn't coming out right, after 30 minutes they'd admitted me to the labour ward and encouraged me to opt for a c section. My husband was getting ready to join me in scrubs. But whilst in theatre and surrounded by a ton of people, the person who was measuring my babies heart rate noticed a drop and it turned into an emergency c section where they put me to sleep.
I still tried to use some of the advice you gave to calm myself and stay strong. I panicked when the oxygen mask was put on me & the catheter 😂 but was out of it in no time.
Baby is still in hospital but making progress. And I'm still recovering too..
Pregnancy is a roller coaster !!
Hi Bridget! I have just starting researching my way into becoming a certified doula because I know for a fact women in my community would benefit from such. Around here everyone has been sent to have C-sections with poor to no follow up during postpartum it's just "take these medication and rest at home". So I have started looking into courses to become a certified doula. I love your work, you and I'm very thankful for you.
I have made the same observation on the C-Section part!
We NEVER even had a nursery or crib and our son is 3.5 years old now. Pregnant with baby number 2 at 28 weeks. Excited to stay home much longer before going to birth center- excited and preparing for all natural birth this time around ❤
I don’t know about the whole “don’t be too early” thing. You might be contradicting what someone’s dr advised. I think some parents are overly anxious and early but others are overly relaxed and end up giving birth in the parking lot because their labour wasn’t so dramatically painful as they anticipated. Or it progressed faster or they live far from the birthing place.
I think prioritizing rest as long as you can is a good thing, but everyone’s labour takes a different amount of time. If you can’t talk through the contraction and the timing is 4 mins apart, I think you should go! Even if it didn’t dramatically accelerate yet. Being early is a million times better than being late in this situation. And a first timer doesn’t know how long it will take which is why they give them a buffer so they are on time. To me it is not a mistake 😅
Lots of good tips. I made the mistake of being excited and I got very little sleep the night before I went into labor. I was exhausted from lack of sleep and back labor. I also made the mistake of filling my husband in on what I was feeling so he pressured me to go to the hospital sooner than I was thinking I wanted to. Everything worked out but if I have another I will 100% do it a little differently!
I'm 38 weeks and have a family history of fast births. My mom has had 3 babies and all of us were 3 hours or less from the time of first contraction to holding us in her arms. I've been told it has to do with the shape of the inside of your pelvis. I am definitely prepared to leave right now. Bags are not only packed but sitting in the car. Right now I have more anxiety about not eating the meals / cookies that are sitting in the freezer than I do about having a long labor. LOL. It'll take as long as it takes but at least the hospital has big tubs to sit in.
FTM only 6 weeks along, but I absolutely agree with the first! I called 6+ midwives to see who I wanted to go with for a homebirth. It really allowed me to feel in charge of my pregnancy, and eventually labor, from the very start.
When I used to visit an OBGYN, I always felt stuck because of my insurance, yet I never really liked the Drs I had. Everything felt rushed, I felt uncared for so often. The last OBGYN even went so far as to make fun of my medical issue, which is why I went to see her! It was absolutely my tipping point to wanting a midwife.
Regardless, shop around momma's! It's so relieving!
You can shop OBs too. I did that. I did not like the first one I went to. 2nd choice was better!
How did your homebirth go as a first time mom?
@@straylight9916 it was amazing!! I had contractions starting at 7pm at 39.3 weeks. I was in early labor until 39.5, when baby arrived at 3 am! The pain was so manageable, like period cramps until active labor started. When active labor started, time flew by so it only felt like maybe 2 hours, but I think it was closer to 10. I used "hypno birthing" techniques, including affirmations, breathing, face/shoulder/hand relaxing, lots of food and electrolyte water during labor, and the shower and eventually birthed in a birth pool.
It was so magical! My baby is 3.5 months now, and I genuinely can't wait to have another! Giving birth in my home with loved one around so casually was almost fun for me 😅
My tip for first time moms (especially young moms): see if you qualify for WIC! They have nutritional support, and lactation consultants available for free. Everyone in my WIC office was so kind and helpful.
#4 is right on! Nobody has the right to be informed about how your labor is going unless they're involved somehow. I've followed this advice at both of my births and they were both perfect! No performance pressure or needing to update people. People will act like they have a right to know, they'll even make you feel a little guilty for saying you want it to be private. So from my experience I would advise, don't tell people your plans. Just don't call them until after baby is born. They will be much more useful after and you can't really give people an accurate timeline anyway while you're in labor. You might call and have baby right away or you may get everyone all excited and on edge and not have baby for 24+ hours.
First pregnancy here and these have been my EXACT thoughts. I feel validated :') thank you!
I completely agree with not activating the phone tree. This was my plan and of course, against my wishes, my mom took care of activating the phone tree. Her justification was, “I only told family.” I was like, “exactly, who else did you think I didn’t want you to tell??”
Ugh…moms…😒😒😒😒 my mom probably would do the same thing too.
They really can't help themselves can they... 😂
I am not telling anyone when I go into labor because I’ve seen how crazy people get. Out of town relatives driving to you right away and getting a hotel to be there as soon as you’ll allow them. Family waiting at your home when you come home. Nooo thanks. Labor and delivery is beyond exhausting for anyone. I will need to be sleeping and feeding as much as possible for a few days.
With my first, my water broke pretty dramatically at home. It was so cute watching my husband fly out of bed, start packing, and warm up the car. I was literally still standing there watching him, while on the phone with my mom. It's actually a favorite memory of mine. That said, that's not the same as what you're describing! Even though I think it's sweet that people want to help (I didn't have much help at all postpartum), I totally get the need for space.
@@sitcomchristian6886 in my due date group, we call it the baby rabies 😆. People really do go nuts over a newborn. Can’t wait to see what my husband will be like when I go into labor in 3 months. Makes me so emotional to think about that special time 💕💕
I wish I have people around me like that when I give birth. Having no families from both sides make me emotional. I literally have no one. Just found out I am pregnant for the first time at 37.
@@ssdsluxcloset4509congratulations 🎉
So funny, I simply didn't do most of these mistakes because I was so convinced that my labor was a "false alarm", because my son came 2 weeks early (which is not prematurely anymore, but everyone told me that first-time mamas are most likely behind due date). So we even finished the nursery under contractions. So in hindsight labor felt like 9 hours, from which I spend only 5 hours in the hospital. If I would count back to my first contractions it would probably be 20 hours all together 😛
I’ve had 3 kids, every way you can (w/epidural; natural w/no pain meds [not by choice- she was ‘coming too quickly” they said], & a C-Section). Children are blessings from GOD & it’s all worth it! 🙏💕💯
First pregnancy 6 months now & getting nervous, I need some Mom friends
Like this comment if you’re down ! 😊
Have you had your baby yet mama!!!??? ❤❤❤ 🎉
@@shweetart No not yet I am due this week, can happen any day now!
How’d it go? I’m having anxiety about delivery big time
I have been watching your videos since I have found out I was pregnant. I am currently 40+1 weeks and waiting patiently. Definitely one, if not, the best channels for pregnancy source of information out there! Hope you have a lovely Christmas and new years ❤️
I went to 3 different ob's, but only because we moved so I had one at the beginning, one in the middle (since I stayed with family), and now the one I have. I don't really have much of a choice due to my insurance. That also meant I was never able to go to birthing classes or anything like that because the classes weren't available or covered. It also took me at least a month and a half both times to find a new primary care provider so that I could get an ob because insurance kept working against me and no one had available spots until my due date.
Hi Bridgette! Love your videos, used to watch them all the time while pregnant 🥰 my baby is now 8 months 🤍 I have a note about the “wait and don’t get too excited about the beginning of contractions” wellllllllll….. my contractions started at 12:30 am on Saturday. Following this advice I started to get everything ready, washed and dried my hair etc….. didn’t leave to the hospital until 5 am 😅 I didn’t want to get to the hospital tooooe early and wanted to labor at home as much as I could. When I arrived they checked me and I was at 5 cm. Well… mama was at 10 am by 8 am and baby was born at 8:48 am 😅!! I didn’t even have time to get an epidural. As a first time mom I was toooo comfortable thinking I would be in labor for hours. I guess baby girl had other plans.
I have absolutely zero regrets about our nursery 🤣🤣 I put significantly more time into it than anything else. It’s now my favorite room in the house and we use it all the time even though the baby is sleeping in our room. Plus there’s absolutely no way I’d have the time to work on it now with work and the baby.
Thank you for sharing this perspective. I am 29 weeks and finding a lot of joy in creating a special space for our baby boy to be, even if he won't be sleeping in it right away. 💙
I feel the same way. We've spent so much time pouring our hearts into the nursery and now it's probably the nicest room in the house. It's helped us feel so connected to her.
@@bsampson09 we are around the same gestation I guess as I'm 32 weeks. I love that we set up the nursery early and I love to work on the little details now that I have less energy to do the big stuff. Our baby will sleep in the nursery from day one. Our bedroom is barely big enough to put a bed in it with two night stands and we also have three cats that are living in our bedroom and balcony so baby in bedroom is not an option.
Good luck to you and I wish you an easy labor and much much health to your little one
Sadly, we have a choice of one midwife for my area. Not many visit rural areas of Indiana.
Yeah, exactly this.
A lot of rural families don't have access to a midwife or doula because they are so out in the sticks. Heck, some can even be an hour or more out from the closest hospital!
Other parents should know they aren't alone when it comes to minimal options.
✌️😇
@@saramations I appreciate that! I had a choice of one midwife that lives about 30 minutes away, but her office is an hour away. The hospitals, if needed, are about 35 minutes away (because city traffic and construction is awesome).
Here's hoping the current wish for more midwives is heard and spreads. It also makes me want to invest in a doula, but I don't know if we can afford it. Makes me grateful for the internet and wealth of knowledge people like Bridget give for free to prepare me.
I am 7 months Post partum and I wish I had prepared for the fourth trimester more. The freezer meals would have been so helpful.
Thanks these are real helpful tips👍
I don’t know how rare my experience is, but I just had my second baby and during both labors, I could talk through surges until transition and by that point I wouldn’t have had time to get to the hospital. Timing them has been the only way I can know I need to get going. My most recent birth (2 days ago) was very quick and I only got to the hospital about an hour and a half before he was born!
Have the women in your family had similar experiences? My mom labored about 24 hours, wasn’t fast progression (and I’m only child so no other experiences by her) I will be FTM
No, my sister has had 3 kids that all were more like 10 or so hours labor and my mom was always closer to 24 hours. I’ve wondered if the anxiety plays a role. My mom is a very private person and very shy. My sister is pretty similar. Neither of them went through positive labor education either so I don’t think they were as mentally calm.
Thank you for sharing these practical tips especially sharing the frequency & duration of labor surges is very helpful when to gauge going to the hospital.
ua-cam.com/video/0Yzsh-vYIA4/v-deo.html
I switched to a midwife from an OB with my first, I was thankful that I did but I wasn't planning to. And yeah the phone tree, my mom was like so what time are you delivering after I just got to the hospital. Um, what?!
My labor contractions started while I was at work at 3pm. I was too busy with my job to be able to keep count with timer, but I did notice they kept coming frequently. My job ends at 6pm and I went home and kept feeling the intensity of them. I ate dinner then decided to go to the hospital which was an hour away. We got there after 8pm, they kept me because I was 5.5 cm dilated. By midnight, my water broke, at 3am my baby was born. My first child, I was induced with so I never knew what were real contraction vs Braxtons so I was hesitant to go at first because of the distance. I was 38 weeks and 4 days when this 2nd was born.
How come you were still working in those weeks? I am currently at 32 weeks and in Finland paid maternity leave begins 1 month before due date.
@Sanna For some companies in America, you have to be working a certain amount of time before you're eligible for maternity leave. I found out I was pregnant and got a job offer on the same day. With that job, to qualify for a paid 12 week maternity leave, I would have needed to work there for a total of 1250 hours. Sadly, by the time I would have gone on leave according to the due date, I would have been at 950 hours. I was working full time, too. For many companies, you have to work a year before you're eligible for maternity leave.
@@ashleyblack4993 Oh, I can’t believe this - that sounds so hard!! In my country paid maternity leave is 9 months no matter how long you have been working 😳 after that you can still stay home until your child is three years old (then you get paid but way less by the government, not your employer). But if you were to have another child before the first one turns 3 years, your employer will have to pay you the same amount as from the first child again for the 9 months. This keeps going for as many children as you will have! This is why many plan to have all their children close to each other. For fathers, they get 160 days paid paternity leave but they usually donate some of the days for mothers. I will have 263 paid days exluding holidays, sundays etc so I will be home more than 9 months. My husband will take 3 weeks when the child is born and use 3 more months later - you can use then whenever until child turns 2 years old…
I wish somebody had told me about freezer meals and stocking the pantry for nursing because I was surviving off Halloween candy after I ate the whole house during my first few weeks of nursing and still healing from c section so my grocery trip was minimal. Technology is awesome, you guys can get stuff delivered now😊
From my first contraction to the time my son was born was 2 hours. My water had broken around to hours before first contraction but I was unsure that it was my water. I almost gave birth in the hospital parking lot 😅 it was my first labor as well
Vulnerability of First-Time Mothers: First-time mothers often experience a mix of excitement, anticipation, and anxiety during their pregnancy and labor. They may lack the prior experience and knowledge to accurately assess the progression of labor or identify potential complications. Delaying the hospital visit until labor pains become unbearable can leave these vulnerable mothers feeling uncertain and overwhelmed, as they may struggle to differentiate between normal discomfort and signs of a more serious issue. Accessing early medical support can provide reassurance, education, and necessary interventions if needed, helping to alleviate anxiety and promote a positive birth experience.
Including this point acknowledges the emotional aspect of being a first-time mother and highlights the importance of early medical support in addressing their unique needs and concerns.
That first tip is unfortunately not really feasible. I think it’s smart to switch providers if you don’t jive but I know I had to wait SIX WEEKS to even get in with my OB and I called the day I got a positive test so I couldn’t get in until 10 weeks. Many practices are like this especially in big cities. Doctors just do not have a lot of time and some places make them always accept new patients. I love her and I would have switched if she was bad but telling people to interview 3-6 providers?? That’s not happening
As a woman who isn’t pregnant but is preparing for it, I just have entirely no clue what you are ever talking about and I feel you should know that ❤
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Great point about the obgyn, I went with my third choice & it’s been the best choice really
The problem with obgyn in Germany is that there is a significant shortage of them. Even in a bigger city where I live I had to call 10 diffirent obgyns.
Any tips for here in Germany?
@@IngridliebtdenOzeanif I hadn't found any obgyn in my area, my general doctor said, she would write a "Dringlichkeitsattest" (urgency certificate). Then somebody has to take you. But I don't know, if you can choose the obgyn then.
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thank you so much im having my first baby and im just nervous lol, this really gave me alot of things to look at and alot of things to think about. this information was great!❤️
We’re letting my family know because they live across the country and I want people to visit us most of my family sadly won’t be able to because of expenses but as soon as I go to the hospital my parents are getting the next plane here and staying for a week or two to help out telling people how things are going makes me feel better about things and calms me down I understand why some people would struggle with it but I honestly think I’d struggle without it I feel so isolated where we live and everyone’s so far and family is super important to us
I had to watch this, because I was really curious how I did last time... Actually, for a lot of these I didn't even really have a choice. I didn't get to choose my midwife, but I saw different ones throughout my pregnancy... And then someone I had never met attended my birth. I never got to set up a nursery because we had to move. I tried timing contractions, but I couldn't figure out when they ended until they were pretty much constant. I definitely didn't go to the hospital too early, lol! (I didn't know at the time, but my water had been broken for three days.) And honestly, except for checking on my husband who drove separately from my mom who took me in, I never even thought about my phone until after I took a long post-partum nap. And my mom had already updated everyone on our family Discord server.
I made one of those mistakes the midwife I hired was a hack I made it through thirty hours of her helping me by misting lavender oil every and not giving me any advice Even though I said I was allergic to lavender oil a million times before I had to go to the hospital where I was able to be alone on a table with a nurse who had no lavender oil or other stupid crystals and I was able to get the baby out un aided in about three hours. He was fine and completely healthy but yeah if your midwife or doctor or etc isn't helping just get rid of them remember they're hired help so if they aren't helping and are causing you unnecessary harm fire them
It's too late for me to change OBs now...but as a first time soon to be momma...and being 39 weeks pregnant now. I really do wish I could switch OBs. I've had so many signs and bad feelings about the clinic I go too but felt like I didn't know any better at the time. Now that it's too late, I definitely wish I would have gone through more options beforehand.
So how much should I wait before going if I have 3h way to the hospital?
I agree with #1! I’m a FTM myself, 38 weeks pregnant, and I did NOT like the first OB I went to. The second one I went to suited my particular needs. Since I’ve never given birth before, I wanted someone who would walk me through the process and really educate me on stuff. First doc was not it! I’ve had other FTM complain about their providers and I let them know: it’s perfectly okay to switch doctors! I did it and don’t regret it.
Same the staff was really rude to me and stressed me out
My water broke at 8 am and had my baby at 1:46 pm that same day.
Yes! I stared timing once my water broke and I feel like I went to the birth center too early
For us they said if water breaks no matter how far or how regular are you contractions you need to go in. I think it's for preventing infections
I normally love and agree with your advice, but definitely not a "one size fits all". I am a first time mom.
I felt weird the day I gave birth to my son. I was already 3cm a few days prior at my 36 week appt. DR told me to get checked, expecting to send me home.. Turns out I was 7cm, 90% effaced and was contracting every 2 minutes on the dot, but I couldn't feel ANYTHING.. If I would've waited, I would've given birth at my apartment, because I only felt contractions when I was ready to push.
I get this isn't the case for most moms, especially new moms, but it was my reality and I gave birth to my 7lb boy just an hour later.
Follow your gut instinct, rather than what a phone/app tells you!!
This is actually pretty awesome! Probably not the norm, but it’s refreshing to hear a story that isn’t ‘it was complete and utter agony for 20 hours.’ I’m almost 38 weeks and a first time mom, so these stories are really comforting to me.
Wow what a cool experience! Thanks for sharing
So funny, I simply didn't do most of these mistakes because I was so convinced that my labor was a "false alarm", because my son came 2 weeks early (which is not prematurely anymore, but everyone told me that first-time mamas are most likely behind due date). So we even finished the nursery under contractions. So in hindsight labor felt like 9 hours, from which I spend only 5 hours in the hospital. If I would count back to my first contractions it would probably be 20 hours all together
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I agree only on the first one.
When we do it first time we worry too much about breastfeeding, labor pain and some people are making big profit out of it. But those things come naturally. I would advice people to care about nursery and whatever makes them happy and enjoy every moment of it. Preparations are beautifull part of pregnancy.
-that is preference. Some people like more attention others none.
-I would advice person to get prepared. Many mom arrived too late. Isn't it better to go earlier? having less stress! And you can have "preparations" on location. I guess that depends on the hospital.
But I can understand that people who make money out of it would want as to worry & to pay a lot of money for every little thing & hospitals will try to "deal" with you as fast as they can.
Alot of your links in the Amazon favorites for postpartum are out of stock and not sure if they will be restocked 😔 just wanted to share since I'd totally purchase through your links because I love your baby videos! Maybe there are alternatives you can update?
Sadly in 3rd world countries you cant choose your doctor, you go to the hospital and someone in the shift will take care ofnyou. That concept of choosing is for first world countries
Except the US. Your insurance will tell you who you can see, IF anyone. There's only 1 office that I could go to in my metro area, so the wait list was weeks long. I had my first appointment at 24wks, with no option of choosing another doctor. Thankfully he turned out to be an absolute angel 😊
To Be Fair, I live in an area where "women's health" is a very taboo/controversial topic.
I am from 3rd world country. We have a lot of private hospitals and medical clinics so we have freedom to choose on how many doctors can accomodate us. But in public / goverment hospitals you have no choice.
We go to the hospital to check baby heart beat and nuchal cord then once safe go back at home and relax. Is this okay or no need to check the baby inside once in early labour?
Well nowadays its more unlikely for the doctor you choose to even deliver your baby. Its whoever is on shift especially if its a whole group practice.
Dude like I had to switch ob’s in because I didn’t know he had sexual assault cases against him, multiple malpractice lawsuits, he didn’t prescribe me a medicine I needed for my autoimmune disease I hadn’t gotten fully set up with my endocrinologist yet and then ripped up the prescription in my face like I was a drug addict. Definitely do research
I’m 36 weeks with my first and am planning an unmedicated birth at the hospital (rural area, no birth center nearby, midwives were all booked).
We live 3 minutes from the hospital and I want to spend as little time there as possible. When would you recommend we make our way to the hospital?
My midwife failed me. My first birth experience was a planned home birth turned hospital birth due to a cervical lip that wouldn’t budge until the car ride to the hospital. I agonized at a 9.5cm for 6+ hours. Contractions were every 60 seconds lasting 60-90seconds for the duration of 6+ hours and after screaming bloody murder for the last 2 hours I said I need to go to the hospital. 10 minutes in the hospital and baby was born, however it was very traumatic. I tore up, tore my labias and clit off and needed to be put under right after birth due to the tear / repairs needed. As soon as we got to the hospital I had 4 nurses holding me down, one at each limb, and the Dr at the end telling me to push as fast and hard as possible. I know the Dr did this because I came in screaming like a banshee and she knew the quickest way out of my misery was for baby to be born. But it happened much too fast. Baby was only in the birth canal for 3 contractions and normally they are in the birth canal for 30min-2 hours.
After the birth my midwife apologized and said she should have made the call herself to take me to the hospital and should have done it 4 hours before I felt like I was going to die. I’m pregnant again and burnt. I hear these great stories and cry. I read all the books, drank the teas, paid for the homebirth/midwife and I was left with a terrible experience. An experience that left me feeling like my body failed me and I can’t do it again, but really my midwife failed me. Makes me very sad….😢
Would you do home birth again?
I am 39 weeks and started having contractions since 4:30 am today but they are not really growing in intensity or progressing faster. I think its prodromal labour. Such a disappointment!
Great video, thanks♡
Have you made a video about the differences of being pregnant with and giving birth to a boy vs a girl? I read boys are more difficult in terms of pregnancy, labor and even complications after birth for the baby. I am having a boy. I wanted to have a calmer home birth because hospitals freak me out, but I am not so sure any more.
I'm a midwife and I've never heard of a difference between boys and girls 😊. Dont let that worry you!
How was your home birth?
@@straylight9916 mine? I could not have one. Labor started with ineffective contractions.. for 7 hours.. then, the hospital.
I definitely made mistakes #1 and this time am going with a home birth Midwife who I did interview her.
Do you know anything about contraception? I want it just for the lack of periods, but I worry it will effect my fertility when I decide to have children.
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Can you make a new video or a new link to everything a new mama should buy? Some of these links are expired
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So true! #2 really hit home
I tried clicking on the links for your favs but none of them seem to work. I get an 'error something went wrong'. Any help please? Would love to see what you have in those.
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I have a query. If I want to get epidural, when is the best time to leave for hospital? Because I reckon it won't be possible if I wait for contractions to be 3-5 mins apart.
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Giving birth tmrw, thanks for this video🥲💗
Thanks for the share.
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Ty for the video🥰👍
Hey Bridget do you having any video on baby going on feeding strike Breast and bottle.
I literally made mistake number 1 now I’m 37 weeks with a OB I hate and don’t want to deliver my baby. Wish I’d watched this earlier
Same. I´m at 34 weeks and my OB is a really cold and rude person, I really hope the staff at the hospital are going to be friendlier.
I mean....you could try to see if anyone will take a late transfer. I wasn't quite as far along as you, but I transferred care to a home birth midwife when I was 7 months pregnant with my second. She had a previous client cancel for my month and it worked out. They can just transfer your records...
@@wolfsmaid6815 had baby at 38 weeks ! The hospital was amazing ( I just birthed at a different hospital than my OB delivers at) I was in labor so they admitted me and I had a positive natural birth experience. They did a lot of tests and I had to have an IV since they didn’t have my records but the hospital and the OB on shift was way better than my usual OB
@@naturalhandmaid3575 yay! congrats on your little one, I wish you a speedy recovery. :)
My little man just decided that 35 weeks was the perfect time to spin around so now I might not get to give birth naturally. But I chose the same path as you did: I went to a different hospital for my next checkup and I felt a lot more comfortable there. :D
can't say I'm a or will be a mum but learning about this is interesting hahaha
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thank you sharing with us, this to be mom tricks :)
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I'm only 31 wks getting contractions and 1.5cm dialated 🥺 what's the best way to avoid pre term labor?
How are you now? ❤
yeah this only made me more overwhelmed D:
You're speaking as if everyone can afford all these courses and midwives..I'm terrified I have no money to raise a baby.
Unfortunately, we HAD to go with the first midwife we met, because they were the ONLY ones in our area that do home water births. I am slightly frustrated with them already, but my chiropractor used them and he shared my frustrations but said the birthing process was great.... soo..... saying it's a mistake, kinda puts me in a funk that I need to go use one of your meditations to pull me out of.. haha... j/k ...but in all seriousness, saying we're doing "mistakes" is not mentally helpful for some mamas.
I just wanted to know if you need a video editor or channel manger, then I can help you.
I'm 17 and I'm pregant
eeeeeh, my friend just had her baby, from being dilated 6 to 10 cm it took her about six minutes, overall the birth at the hospital 35 minutes. Her husband didn't make it on time unfortunately, she also didn't have the time for the enema that she wanted and she took the biggest dump during birthing her first child. That's the only thing I will disagree on. When I have contractions that are close I'm going to the hospital right away and fiance is staying with me till the end lol
Congratulations
You remind me sooo much of Pearl on YT
I’m watching this and I’m a guy but I need to watch this for future
The class is not free! Why would you mislead people?
found out at 18 weeks after losing my job and alone. i would like to be able to find a provider but its hard with no income. i recently had a two day job at a chicken factory ( mainly for the increased pay) and failed miserably. this is my first and am becoming disabled but not enough to get help with ptsd/ major depression, now mental health. i feel so lost. was able to get in once for ultrasound to find my baby is smaller and possible placenta previa? but couldn't afford to get the trans vag to see ( dipping a little bit in cervix) i wish my mom was alive. im 33 yr old and afraid. the two day factory work made my pstd ( chronic pain since birth, fatigue etc) sky high shook violently that night. ( yesterday) i want to get services but they require Texas DL or ID. any mommas comments is welcomed 😢.
Go to a local pregnancy center and WIC office. They are wonderful people and they can get you signed up for Medicaid, get you an ID, get you in to see a doctor. 💕
@@shelbywright3712 i never thought of that . thank you so so much!
Hi fellow momma to be. My heart is with you. I was diagnosed with PTSD just a few months before becoming pregnant. It’s a difficult journey, especially understanding all the symptoms and conditions that come with it. I’m also the farest I’ve been away from home. It’s all really nerve wracking to say the least. I’m on WIC and Medicaid and it truly has been life changing. My baby and I are getting the best possible healthcare offered, and it truly brings me peace of mind. It can seem daunting filling out the applications, but if you go to your local city or county office, they can really help. Be sure to say you’re expecting! That should vastly quicken your wait time. Remember that there are people all over who’s jobs are the help women like you and I. Wishing you so much strength and peace during this time, and remember, once you’re holding that sweet baby who you will be the center of their world (and already are), it will all wash away. ❤
How are you doing momma? I’m 37 weeks with placenta previa and baby is small for gestational age. For both of these conditions, I’ve been approaching it with wait and see approach, as things change from one appointment to the next. My placenta unexpectedly moved and my baby’s measurements change all the time. Don’t accept either as a diagnosis until later in pregnancy because honestly, your doctors are guessing. Educated guessing of course, but still, ultrasounds are not always definitive. Praying and wishing you a healthy, supported pregnancy.
Can you make a home birth video ❤
These aren't necessarily 1st time mom mistakes
This is very useful! I am delivering in 4 weeks. Thank you Bridget x3 x3 x3
Where have you been Bridget? I love your videos!