How to stay Classy and Elegant whilst SINGLE | Behaviours to Avoid as a Single Woman
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
- Ladies! Are you single and basking in all the freedom and glory it has to offer? Or do you view singleness as some kind of curse?
However you do view it, there are ways to ensure you remain elegant, classy and dignified in this stage of your life.
This week's video explores 10 Things you Must Avoid doing when SINGLE!
In many cultures, if you are single at a certain age it means you're destined for a lifetime of spinsterhood and this can be very harsh but there are ways to ensure that you remain high value and productive during this point in your life.
WOMAN OF ELEGANCE is a platform created by its founder, Vivienne Abena and encourages women to improve all facets of their lives from their lifestyle, etiquette to dress and grooming.
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#StayClassy
#singlewoman
#happysinglewoman
#singlewomanlife
#singlewomanpower
#singlewomantips
What I did when I was single:
☝🏼Worked on my hobbies and talents
☝🏼Became very discrete and never complained about my singleness in public and to others
☝🏼Worked on myself and my character (eg. I was once short tempered 😂, through God, I fixed it!)
☝🏼Focused on others and loving them, especially those who felt lonely, like me 😊 (widows, the elderly and shy teenagers)
☝🏼Focused on giving and generosity!
☝🏼Prayed to finish a higher degree that was lingering for too long 😆
☝🏼Prayed for a good man, everyday and prayed God molds me for him.
☝🏼 Prayed for gratitude and contentment in my Singleness. That was the hardest.
But man came and he LOVED the woman that I had become! Singleness IS A GIFT when you use it wisely 😃
Proud of you WELL DONE
A great one
I’ve been single for six months now after a long term relationship and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life! I’m dating myself, exploring myself, educating myself, loving myself; setting standards for myself. Thank you my elegant sister for reaffirming this today!
Amen To that I also too been single these 6months, it’s been so eye opening, I can’t even bare to be around toxic energy I know I want to be in love and married but I am really REALLY enjoying my solitude lol
Me too!!!
Enjoy Honey,single life is the best don't let these couples deceive you.No one can love you no more than you and God.
When you find someone that truly loves you and you love him too, you will know the difference.
Yessss! Ditto here!!
LOL I'm 62, never married and while I would not mind a partner, I have no need of one and do perfectly well without one. We need to break the cycle of having parents and society beat us up over it. There's nothing to beat yourself up over. Cultivate your own happiness and enjoy your life. Living well is the best revenge.
Oh my gosh! Living well is really the best revenge. I am giggling like a little girl here because i am living well with my three handsome sons after my ex-husband cheated on me. I am divorced and blessed. This is getting sweeter 🤩
Well said! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Yes absolutely agree with you and feel the same way as a woman in my mid 40's.
1. Stop giving off an air of desperation
2. Stop telling everybody you hate being single
3. Stop giving wife privilege to a man who is not your husband
4. Stop trying to make yourself the center of attention
5. Stop subscribing to every single dating website in existence
6. Stop lamenting about past heartbreak at every opportunity
7. Beware of the singles club
8. Beware of the jealous streak
9. Beware of not setting boundaries
10. Surround yourself with happily married people
@@mementomori1022 I don't think that was the motive, she was only trying to take notes and it was nice dropping it here so someone can screenshot.
Thank you.
Nicely summed. ❤️
@@mementomori1022 who is being rude here? I don’t think it’s nutty
Nice
My divorce is almost finalized and these were perfect points that I tell everyone myself. Singleness is so important. With it I've learned so much about myself, the importance of a family unit, trust, and marriage. I'm in no rush to get there but I'm so glad there are other ladies in this world who cherish singleness. It is an opportunity to learn and grow so you can meet the man of your dreams. Remember ladies, you can only offer what you are. So if you aren't at 100% then you don't have 100 to give. Heal and grow in your season of singleness.
These are great ideas, no one should sell themselves cheap!
We must love ourselves as single women, then we will attract the right guy for long loving valued relationship!
Above all, we should pray for what we exactly like in a man!
This is so inspiring thanks for sharing your story. I started my path to reinventing myself a year ago, I'm now living healthier, confident, stronger, making 6 figures, having leisure to enjoy family &friends. I feel happier and living my life for myself. This is to encourage someone "you can start anytime to have a reset it's worth it! I'm striving to continue growing cus it's a journey❤
Congratulations sis! Thanks for encouraging others with your story, I will love to get tips from you too.
@@monica64340 Change your mindset, read self-help books, expand knowledge, budget and don't spend on impulse, save, take your finances seriously, eat healthy, exercise your body, meditate; the list goes on... I hope it is useful to you.
@@marlena408 How did you grow to 6 Figure? I'm honestly trying to work on my personal finance this year.
@@lunamoon448 ¿l learnt to be frugal, minimal on spending, saving and paying myself first through Investing, made Plans, growing passive income, Read a lot of books on finance, followed my plan consistently.:)
Congratulations to you that's so brave of you thanks for sharing🥰
I'm actually more elegant than I thought..54 yrs old ..never married..too many offers..I have similar views..love it ..was always a different type of person..thanks for clarify..class and elegance
Me too. I am the same way. 💯 I enjoy my freedom, my time and space very content with my own company. Just being free-spirit, single woman. Continue with my healing, recovery, meditation and spiritual journey. The positive side of spirituality. ❤😊 Peace, love, light and blessings to you. 🙏💫✨💜💜🌺🌹
I had friends who wanted to basically trap their boyfriend with a baby and didn’t care about marriage. I had to remove myself from those women quickly 🤦🏾♀️
I work with two women who did that. One has 2 children. The other has 3. Both are still running around. They "date" married men and brag about it. They asked me to hang out. I always make an excuse😂
Refreshing talk as usual, thank you. Numbers 1 and 3 is important for women over 40 because it attracts narcissistic men. They spot desperation from miles away and charm their way into our lives and once they find what they can get from you they begin to play on your insecurities and desperation, manipulate your thoughts and try to make you feel off balanced and dependent on them for rescuing. Then they take whatever you have and dump you and move on to the next 1 and 3 lady.
I've seen it so much nearly caught me recently but I knew the red flags and I wasn't as desperate as he thought plus I wasn't about to give him any spousal favors but he tried.
I got help because I talked about him to my close friends and I was able to hear myself think when I talked about my concerns; little things I overlooked accumulated and I was able to walk away from what I thought was a God send.
More girls need to hear this!. So true and many can’t quite articulate it like this.
I don't know why women including myself, we might spend so much effort taking care of ourselves only to be railroaded by men who have no respect or care about women on a whole. The onus is on us to value ourselves more and to always find ways of adding value to ourselves by being independent and self sufficient thereby taking our lives in hand and be accountable for who we give the chance of even holding a reasonable discourse with.
You look beautiful in that gold color Vivian! ♥️
And wonderful video!
Stay classy ladies!
“It takes a refined mindset and a heart of love....”. So well put!!! 💯💯
Thank you Vivian for your education. And by the way, you resembles Serena Williams!
I like how you pass your message in a classy and simple manner.Thank you Viv❤
Thannnkkkkk youuuu my dear....I pray desperately that a lot of women watch this!
This is called empowerment! Thank you, Vivian!!!
Thank you, you look so elegant.
I do not believe the lies, Vivienne.
Thank you for always being a big Sis 💗
being single is a privilege that millions of women in some countries do not have. I am sooo grateful to live in a free country where I can live as I please.
The only part of this video that I disagree with is doing self-improvement for the sake of a future relationship. Just do self improvement for ourselves, for our own happiness and fulfillment, and to be a better person for the world as well. But, maybe no man will come along. And, that's ok if we've learned how to be happy regardless.
You gave me the most important lesson at this moment 🙂.
Your mind is amazingly healthy and sound. God bless you, Vivian.
Excellent advice! However, as an older woman I advise younger women not to chase a marriage license and push out those voices about getting married for the sake of being married. Commitment, trust, love, and devotion does not come with marriage unless both partners agree. A woman may have societal approval being married. But at what cost if you’re married to a man who is not worthy of a truly elegant woman? A woman should always ask herself if a man worthy of being the father of your children.
I respect and agree 💯! I’ve made mistakes in the past, but making better choices, seeing potential and respecting myself, setting boundaries. I see and understand the importance of protecting that.
Not to allow a mans attention to determine your self-esteem, great advice.
Powerful!!!
She read me for filth with this comment because I just started really loving myself and I see all the mistakes I made and it made me sad but now that I have been working on myself I'm much more aware and happy and I have stopped believing the lies
@@theonehun6385 congratulations beautiful!!! Loving yourself is the best
You said nothing but facts! Even though I knew this info, I'm glad that it's being restated!!
Thanks!
Very good advice...once AGAIN! Thank you!
This is so touching Vivian
I have been single since my divorce in 2005 and am LOVING IT! Ladies; truly embrace and be thankful for your season of singleness, as it truly is a gift. I have been doing things like attending gallery openings and traveling since my divorce. Things I didn't have time for while married. There are other obvious perks to singleness such as blessed alone time! Time to just be and enjoy the moment. When you are married you are focused on work, your husband and possibly raising children. Honestly ladies, there really isn't much alone time/down time. Take advantage of all that you can as a single lady now and enjoy! ❤
Well said,Thanks for your informative, inspiring lessons 👏
Totally totally agree with number 6.
Thank you so very much. Appreciated
Hello Vivienne, i just love watching your video. Im obsessed watching it actually😅 your advice are amazing since i start watching your video i apply it to my life i consider you as my big sister who give me advice and your video give me confident.
I love these videos... Thank u so much for sharing.
Become your best fabulous self while single. Enjoy life!
Point number 3 ,wow 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
Another round of applause for the ever gorgeously elegant Vivien!!!👏👏👏👏👏Wow!!!just Wow!!!
Oh Vivienne, how I love you!☺️
We love your videos! I have two girls that faithfully watch your video
U are amazing,much food for thought.
Thank you Vivian
Amazing as always
thank you so much I have learn God bless you ❤ beautiful lady
Yes ,always be positive and shine like a star .Be elegant and live a dignified life .
Thank you dear
Thats true
Thank you soo much Ms Vivienne . A new subscriber and am loving each of your videos.
Noted.Thank you ❤️
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH VIVIAN YOU ARE A STAR
So glad I found your page. I love it!!!
Beautiful video!! I am single and I embrace it (for now.. lol) but haven’t given up on finding true love ..
I am 81 years young. My man is a very good man ,but we have not much time left and we have kids aand homes and finances that take consideration. We do have an intimate relations but I will not stop that. He has given me more love than I have ever had . He don’t lie and tell me he loves me . But I do intend to get the love I need or want before I die
So , True!!!! She is really teaching 👍🏼.
Very difficult if on a modest wage over 55 and no family. Seem few men of value out there. Also hard if someone wants a child
U made some great points thanks
Thanks
I have been married twice, my second husband is the father of my three children who are now all adults. My fiancé proposed a decade ago, and therefore not certain I’d agree that it’s wrong to wait. I think some men who have been badly hurt and disappointed by a previous marriage, have great wealth - which they are continuing to build and very high social position want to make certain that you really understand who they are and what will be expected of you. If they are faithful and sincere, and you’ve already had your children, I’d give them time. Men in the .0001% are rare, their lives are complex. When that caliber of man introduces you to his mother and family, he should be taken seriously. When you meet his childhood or life long friends who are US Senators, Governors or running for the US Presidency, and are introduced as his fiancé, he is serious. For example, the wisdom or Prince William’s very long courtship before marriage to Kate versus the mess resulting from Prince Harry’s marriage to Meghan. Or his father’s hasty marriage to Diana. I’d ask “how is he treating you”? With respect? Is he appreciative of your affection, is he faithful? I believe that most women would not walk away from a “no prenup” marriage to billions but would be patient. At least I would advise them to be patient. If the basic compatibility is there he isn’t going anywhere. Every situation is different. You must know who you are with. If he is the one who fulfills your dreams and has the key to your heart, is an ethical, sincere and God fearing man, give him time. He will love you more for it. Your videos are excellent and consistent with what I’ve observed and learned over time. Keep up the good work! You are making the world a better place.
I'm beautiful, desirable having high values 😍🥰
I've set boundaries and standards for myself. I'm happily single, enjoying my singlehood as I keep preparing and developing myself.
Thanks for sharing, Beautiful Mentor🥰
You're the best vivian, please can you help me with an app that teachers english fluently.
❤
I respect you.
I watched till the end and enjoyed every bit of it!👏
Awesome......🙏❤
Aww thankyouu swee
Speaking of the singles hate men group, I’m seeing this trend going around on decentering men. That’s kinda extreme
That’s why I prefer Godly relationships it focuses on one man and one woman only forever.
Very good, l will consider this in my interactions.
Where were you all my life.youre like a wise older sister
You remind me of Kate in Bridgerton season 2.
You had me by the intro.
Very interesting; informative and relevant information, i love to listen to your insights 👍❤️💪
❤❤
💗
i tried to download handbook but couldnt and tried to send a message on website and it came back error. can yu send mea link please. thx
My apologies dear. Please bear with us whilst we work to get this issue fixed. In the meantime please send a request to info@womanofelegance.com
@@WomanOfElegance done thx
I don’t know one happily married lady that wants a single beautiful women around her and her husband and other married couples. I don’t think that’s a great idea because the single women is seeking a man and everyone knows it, and may possibly find her seeking someone’s husband. Not a good idea.🧐😊
Yes 👍! Take it from a woman.who has been married 25 years, haste makes waste. If you marry the wrong person it can cause a lifetime of pain and misery. Single woman have opportunities of dating and selecting. Take your time with relationships and marriage, there is no rush. Be very careful it is a lifetime commitment. Never enter a marriage unadvisedly and without wise counsel. Ladies the long engagement is a bad sign. Never stay in a toxic relationship just for a wedding ring 💍 Perfect love cast out fear. You will know in your heart when it is truly right. Men will show you two sides. Learning which one to believe takes wisdom. Time eventually reveals the person behind the mask. Take your time and let time reveal. Best wishes ladies.
God bless you!
Thank you 🙏.
Thank you 🙏🏾
Thank you for the wisdom
Thank you miss
Thank you Vivian
❤
You are just pure awesomeness! I have been happily married for 10 years and counting, this is my second marriage. You nailed it about valuing self and enjoying your single life. You have to be a happy “me” to be a happy “we.”
Ladies, being single is just polishing time as you become the highest caliber woman imaginable and take your time picking the best suitor!
Exactly
*A lot of the times a woman sees the signs when she's being used, but she chooses to ignore them.*
This is so true.. I think very often if we look back we'll realise that we saw those signs and so called red flags as early as the first few dates, but we just chose to ignore them.
Women are so intuitive. We've got this immense gift. We have to learn to trust our intuition and not ignore it.
Yes I feel this same way!!!
Everyone is intuitive, it depends if you want to use it or not,
Agree
oh my god yes
Gift of fear by Gavin De BECKER
Yes!!! Stop giving wife privileges to a man who is Not your husband.
Chastity is a treasure. Thank you for the very high standards of dignity you teach women 🙏🏽
Absolutely on all points! It's a special time in a woman's life & I hope more women see that. It's a time to grow, evolve, have fun & develop your personal principles, values, & boundaries to live by, especially within dating. Stay true to your desires & be authentically happy. Single or in a relationship, you are still you, full & complete with or without him. We women live in a special time that is meant to honor us & it's time to understand how much power & weight we have with men. Technically we call the shots, but some are so weak & desperate they choose an unhealthy relationship & they can't see this. We have the power here, please please don't give your feminine power away!
Enjoy singleness. Yes, it is a blessing.
You're like a big sister that I always run to for advice 😊
I am 42 and I am so fine with singleness. So much fun and so much freedom, I love the "me" time whenever. And you are right, being single is a blessing.
The only one who needs changing is your child wearing pampers! An adult will change when he wants and might not be you!
Right 💯
Love this topic and I love your British accent. You are right women should not give themself to men if he is not their husband. I respect myself, I will never give myself to a man unless he is married to me. 🙂💃
I am 60 and I have been single all my life. Relationship always short term for me it's my destiny I know now. I am going to marry myself and try to better my life by myself.
This is the advice I’ve been looking for as a single 42 year old woman! I’ve been doing it all wrong and I knew it. So glad Vivian was able to address this.
Your positivity is contagious. 💖
Same to me at 40 I've been so worried
Same hun shes made me see something diffrent
Same here too.
Hey elegant lady, can you make a video on why men casually make babies with a woman but not marry them?. I have seen some celebrities do this too,both white and black , I honestly hate it. Then again, why do the women even entertain it?. Can you make a video explaining?because I am sure if the men asks their hand in marriage they would say yes. Thank you.
You nailed this video
All true
Thanks for helping all women
As a single mother who comes from a country that values married women more than single womena
Oh how I love your videos ....They are so educative . Can you please do a work place etiquette??? Let God bless you sis , your videos are really helping me to be the classy woman I desire to be.
Thank u so much for always sharing.
Thank you for this. Awesome message.
This is coming to me at the right time. I was recently promoted and deployed to a semi urban village to work. I was truly devastated and the only reason to bring me back to the city is marital ground. I felt so awful with my life, imagining starting a new life in a strange environment. It was the only moment I regret being single. But honestly It’s making sense to me right now. My mum encouraged me so much to work there instead of seeking for redeployment.
Coming here, I’ve been reassured of the positive part of it. Thanks so much for sharing.
Hey viviane I love your hair. Can you share your hair secrets, what hair you wear and how to style it so elegantly like you do❤️
Being single and working on yourself is better than being married and miserable. Take your single season to focus and self, and when you do date vet, vet, vet, vet, vet and don’t settle.
You just shared liquid gold, ma’am🥰 I always feel refreshed watching your videos, it’s like a natural cleanser for a woman’s soul.
I agree with all you say. Your wisdom is a blessing to me and my daughters. I wish I had you when growing up. But I’m still young and it’s never too late to learn. I have been single for years and I love it.
At long last Vivian..someone who doesn't think dating sites are the only way to meet a man.Thank you for talking about this. I'm a professional 61 year old very trendy and independent woman I'd love to meet the right guy but after 9 years I'm not prepared to have anyone in my life..he will need to bring to the table what I do...I refuse to put myself on a dating site I want the old ways of dating getting to know a person...before listening to your video I truly thought is it just me not wanting to date from a site but it's true its a lazy way of finding the one...Thank you
I agree! Many younger UA-camrs that have a large audience of women advocate for being on dating apps, saying that 'everyone's on them' 'just get with the program' but I don't believe it's the only way to meet a good person!
You are a 61 year old grandma why do you want to date at this age?
Personally I am single and I enjoy it. I want to know myself better before being in a relationship.
Thank you for these advice ! Your videos are always of good quality.