Chris Williamson: We're In a Masculinity Crisis
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- Опубліковано 22 тра 2024
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In this episode, Chris Williamson joins Jake and Damian to delve deep into the realms of connection and embracing authenticity.
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Chris Williamson is an English podcaster, UA-camr and former television personality; appearing on the first series of Love Island in 2015. Since 2018 he has hosted the highly regarded Modern Wisdom podcast, surpassing a staggering 400 million downloads.
Chris boldly talks about fighting feelings of not being enough, showing how chasing success can sometimes mean giving up happiness. He chats openly about his childhood and upbringing, craving validation after growing up feeling lonely.
Despite his success, Chris acknowledges his ongoing pursuit for self-improvement through journaling, meditation, and therapy; emphasising the importance of these exercises for continuous growth.
From his podcasting success to his latest venture with ‘Neutonic’, a thoughtfully crafted productivity drink, Chris highlights the power of curiosity, consistency, and intentionalism. He shares the importance of defining our desires and taking action to fulfil them.
This episode digs into the twists and turns of human connections, striving for real success, and finding out who we are.
0:00 Introduction
1:09 What Is High Performance?
5:10 The Fear Of Enjoyment
8:38 🚨 Eight Sleep
9:48 What Are You Running From?
17:02 How To Change Your Life
21:56 The Truth About Love Island
26:50 The Birth Of Modern Wisdom
31:51 🚨 Manual
32:53 Instinct Over Information
35:07 The Benefits Of Suffering
43:06 The Masculinity Crisis
47:34 The Lack Of Female Role Models
48:39 Male Body Dysmorphia
51:50 The Story Of Neutonic
55:23 The Power Of Mastery
59:36 What Is Next?
1:05:16 Quick-Fire Questions
#HighPerformance #ChrisWilliamson #ModernWisdom #Masculinity - Спорт
such a smart, emotionally intelligent guy. ideal role model for men
😂😂😂😂 are you kidding bro
@@plmnjioqazzsw7962 why would I be kidding
This really echoes with me. As a dad of three, 2, 4, and 6 six years old, and a wife with cancer, I try to perform high every day.
We have no self pity or think our situation is unfair or anything relative like that. It just is. Like the story of the man and his beautiful horse that runs away.
We have to adapt, accept reality, face the tasks, and put in a structure that works for us.
I work full time, 37 hours a week in Denmark, and take the kids to dance and football. It is a priority. A privileged priority.
Love that, a privileged priority. Thanks for sharing!
Respect …for being such a great person, father and husband. The best example your children can have. I can only imagine the struggle but what a wonderful thing you are doing. 👏👏👏
You've been nailing it with the guests lately and Chris now... Cannot wait!
Once again great episode. Chris is very interesting and he's really performing at a high level. It's seems to me there's this huge pressure on him to do everything flawless and world class. I wish him all the success, to let go a bit more, and to enjoy more.
This is an amazingly insightful conversation. I love seeing and hearing men having these kinds of conversations🤓 I’m learning a great deal of wisdom here. 🌻
43:06
Masculinity, insecurities around competence and mastery. Men feel pressure to always be in control, be competent and have mastery.
They want a partner they can trust and build a life with, but concerned about not meeting objective metrics of success, fear being traded up from,
This makes men come across as needy, even though they know this is deeply unattractive. Men are not needed, is essentially the narrative being pushed by mainstream.
Amazing product, thanks
"We're not really listening to men's problems. They are being dismissed out of hand as whining from a patriarchy that men no longer feel a part of". This really stuck out to me. I so rarely talk about my problems, because at the back of mind, there's a voice that sarcastically says: "Aww diddums, you've got such big problems as a privileged white guy". So then I think "okay I'm not gonna speak out, because I don't want to be derided for feeling misplaced self pity and looked down on as a moaning guy who should realised how privileged and good he has it".
Do any other guys feel like that? I feel many say all the right things like: "men shouldn't be afraid to cry", or "a guy that talks about his problems is so brave", etc - but that's said in theory and then when it actually happens, the same people say "OK yeah, shut up maaate, no one cares about your man problems".
no one does care about your problems. as everyone has their own. see a therapist.
this is not me being mean. its called reality, accept it cos you cant change it.
you may find my comment distasteful. which it is, but its also true.
also, do people really say that to you in person? about the yt privilege stuff? i find it hard to believe unless you're confiding with people who have low intelligence. or maybe its the online world you get this message from?
ive never encountered someone say to me "diddums u got such big problems cos youre yt and privalleged". and ive done years of aa meetings, group therapy, support groups etc...
the only place i see that attitude is online or with school children.
if you want a validating response then try go to places that are validating to being with.
support groups, aa meetings etc... are free
@@averyintelligence Ask yourself why you left this lengthy comment if you don't care.
@@Paul2377
1. was on the toilet.
2. didnt say i didnt care about your comment, i said nobody cares about your problems. which is true according to your own statement.
thank you for deflecting the point of discussion onto a straw-man argument. you prove that you are not willing to take on board real honest feedback, even if harsh.
do u have any rebuttals?
thanks Paul lovely chat
The whole "diddums" thing is a big problem men put on themselves, I think. Admittedly one that starts in the way society treats us.
Part of being a strong well adjusted adult, IMHO, is addressing all of your problems. You can't do that if you tell yourself the story that your problems aren't worth addressing.
I think this is the route of a lot of PEOPLE'S mental health breakdown, but at least women are encouraged to believe they can voice their grievances.
"No one cares about your problems" is another problem we put on ourselves because if the way society treats us. No one cares about the weak link, but we all very much care if the team of people we rely on have problems that make them less reliable... that's how you have a cohesive military unit, a hunting party that doesn't get itself killed, a family that support eachother.
We're so scared of being the weak link, we make ourselves the weak link by not feeling able to voice and address what's making us unreliable.
If you fear sharing your weaknesses, you project weakness, you ARE weak whether weakness is the chicken or the egg. If you say without any fear because you're confident in yourself and the people who have your back "I have this problem, and I want to address it so I can be a better member of the team (friend group, family, coupling, whatever). Sharing it is a step in that process. I and we will be stronger for it.", that's taking responsibility and showing strength.
Put those two things together and twist it, you may get the kind of person who makes their problems into everyone else's.
That's just as weak as someone who can't face up to or address a problem.
There's an art to it. You have to tread the line between taking all the weight off your shoulders by putting on someone else's, and breaking your own back by never sharing your burden... then there's people who'll pretend to take the weight only to stab you in the back, take what's valuable and drop extra weight right back on top of you.
You need a good team, and you need to be a good team member, they go hand in hand... you pretty much don't get one without the other.
I have watched Chris Williamson many times and I am always struck by how intelligent he is. However as the parent of a high functioning autistic person I am convinced he is also on the autistic spectrum and I am convinced this is why he is not understanding why his social interactions are not wht he would hope that they would be. I hope the work he is doing in therapy now leads him towards a diagnosis.
Chris looks gorgeous in his t shirt
Random, much?😅
I thought I'd copy this and put it as a separate comment.
In response to someone's comment about the disconnect between what men are told to feel/think and what we actually do:
The whole "diddums, tiny problems amongst all that privilege" thing is a big problem men put on themselves, I think. Admittedly one that starts in the way society treats us.
Part of being a strong well adjusted adult, IMHO, is addressing all of your problems. You can't do that if you tell yourself the story that your problems aren't worth addressing.
I think this is the route of a lot of PEOPLE'S mental health breakdown, but at least women are encouraged to believe they can voice their grievances.
"No one cares about your problems" is another problem we put on ourselves because if the way society treats us. No one cares about the weak link, but we all very much care if the team of people we rely on have problems that make them less reliable... that's how you have a cohesive military unit, a hunting party that doesn't get itself killed, a family that support eachother.
We're so scared of being the weak link, we make ourselves the weak link by not feeling able to voice and address what's making us unreliable.
If you fear sharing your weaknesses, you project weakness, you ARE weak whether weakness is the chicken or the egg. If you say without any fear because you're confident in yourself and the people who have your back "I have this problem, and I want to address it so I can be a better member of the team (friend group, family, coupling, whatever). Sharing it is a step in that process. I and we will be stronger for it.", that's taking responsibility and showing strength.
Put those two things together and twist it, you may get the kind of person who makes their problems into everyone else's.
That's just as weak as someone who can't face up to or address a problem.
There's an art to it. You have to tread the line between taking all the weight off your shoulders by putting on someone else's, and breaking your own back by never sharing your burden... then there's people who'll pretend to take the weight only to stab you in the back, take what's valuable and drop extra weight right back on top of you.
You need a good team, and you need to be a good team member, they go hand in hand... you pretty much don't get one without the other.
🔥 beat bro
Will someone tell these guys that wearing women's pants without socks is a clear sign of masculinity crisis ?
Outstanding interview! The world is much better for Chris’s existence
the life of a player, is unfulfilling, because, we need deep connection.
the player seeks validation and very surface level, shallow connection.
you want to connect with secure ppl who will look after you and have got your best interest, not ppl who just want validation for their insecurities, only to use you like a condom.
If he was in the army instead of podcasts he would be above most of us………….due primarily to being middle class.
Riley Gaines, tulsi Gabor, Nicole Shanahan, Danielle Smith
Love that you guys open up the conversation and also don't fully go along with him. As I noticed some reservations about some of his views. And you always do this, so no exception but still good to point out sometimes.
But with this guy, sometimes he says something where not a lot of people agree with and takes some niche facts about a study that proves his argument. Which makes him miss the big picture left and right.
But especially the part: It is hard to work with me, because I ask so much from the people working with me.
If you ask a lot from people but you reward them and ask it in away that is friendly, a lot of people still want to work until they drop for you, because you manage them in a nice way. But I feel like he is hiding behind the argument: I am chasing world class outcome, so I tread people like shit.
Next to that, I think we need more attention for male loneliness and mental health for man overall.
World class ha ha😅
I would disagree with the clickbait title. Women say they no longer need men because it's true. The State will now step in if a woman find themselves in a desperate situation, no money, no home, no way out. Previously, in that situation, women would look for a man who was attracted to them and would provide for them...there were strings but a they did what they needed to do. Now, in the same situation, that woman can get assistance from the state.
The women who say, "we don't need men". Are referring to this situation. On the whole this is a good thing for both sides, women aren't having to be exploited for sex to get out of a bad situation and men aren't being manipulated into providing for a woman who exploits their need for affection.
Given the declining marriage rates, it appears this was much more common than either gender would like to admit.
I don't think that makes it any less a crisis of masculinity. If I'm in a car crash, my arm isn't less broken because my leg's also broken.
Men aren't taught how to be socially valuable people. I don't mean by grindset psychology or whatever... I mean we're scared to have a problem because it's a weakness instead of being the kind of people who can have someone they rely on to have their back, and to say to them without a shadow of fear "I have a problem. I'll be stronger for addressing it, which means WE'll be stronger.", not sharing a problem because we're shamed into it, but because we're being a responsible member of a team that needs (and will work for) every link to be as strong as possible. You want your friends and family to be able to come to you with a problem and vise versa, because an unaddressed problem weakens you all.
That fear is a self fulfilling prophecy. If you're scared of being weak, you're weak and it's plain to see for everyone around you. If you're not capable of that kind of strength, it'll be nearly impossible to surround yourself with people you can rely on in a crisis. We need to build a team, and to properly value that team, cultivating collective and personal strength in the process.
We're designed (evolved) to hunt in parties that literally rely on one another for survival, to live in communities that defend each other, including by ostracizing members that make the whole weaker. We're hardwired to recognise weakness and strength in this way.
That's the crisis of masculinity IMHO.
In the opening 45 seconds, he quotes Peterson about running to and from something and quotes Navel about finding something that 'feels like play to you but work to others'. It would be good if he actually shared something original for a change instead of just reciting quotes from other people who actually think for themselves.
He interviews people for a living and you expect him to be coming up with his own ideas. I think you mistook him for a deep thinker, he’s a great interviewer but I don’t listen to him for his thoughts. He’s great at getting great minds to come to him and asking pertinent questions, that’s his value. These guys wanted to interview an interviewer, that’s their mistake
@@niallchristie2491 If you're going to share advice, at least credit the source. I don't have an issue with people sharing advice and I've personally given Chris credit for his podcast. But saying stuff and trying to pass it off as your own just to 'look clever' is a little pathetic.
@@LancasterAcademyofBrandDesign yeah i think regurgitating others ideas and passing it off as your own isn’t cool, he’s a decent enough podcaster and I don’t think his intentions are dark but I don’t think turning from podcaster to interviewee is the move as he’s got a lot of other people’s ideas in his head and will fall prey to what you’ve said. If the people listen and assume it’s him it inflates his ego too.
I have no idea who this fella is.... is that terrible?
He just regurgitates everything and gas no original thoughts
clever guy but ... he's just podcaster, not exactly like we are talking about the elites that exemplify high performance. Strongly agree with his views on men and the crisis we face in masculinity.
He's not 'just' a podcaster, he's had a really interesting life and done a buttload of amazing things.
He's no special forces operator or billionaire or anything, in that way I agree.
Although the information is mostly ok, and he's fairly smart, something feels completely fake and insincere about him.
He has autism. I think that’s why people feel or think that he’s fake. I’ve watched him many times and have come to believe that he’s the complete opposite of fake, he has a small ego compared with the top podcasters and he’s really genuine but he’s certainly different and of course we all have our own opinions of him.
I have watched him A LOT. I think he is really genuine, warm and wise 😊
@@Joan-COYI ah ok... if that's the case, then that makes sense.
Who is he?
Most beautiful podcast in the world, very subjective
He is just repackaging what others have said. Like a human embodiment of an AI response
Chris has always been an attention seeker. Went on love island to try and get clout to start a podcast then stole every other podcasters guests 😂. The guys a leech.
Who is Chris Williamson?