@@MonkeyButt5000 I don't see how doctor Grande is like doctor Phil, The latter has a talk show and directly interacts/ gives "advice" to people. And doctor Grande has a UA-cam channel where he speculates on what could be happening in a given situation.
@Monkey Butt 5000 someone's jealous.. and straight up trolling. I agree with what the two responses said before me that a Dr. Phil comparison is waaaay off. To add to that Dr. Grande is an ACTUAL LICENSED DOCTOR!!! Who is he SELLING OUT to? What are you a skater from the 90's? He isn't a band. What is your real problem with our good doctor here? Please explain what he is doing so wrong in your eyes. I'll have a real back and forth with you about it without stooping to kindergarten Insults.
The rise of social media has enabled people to invest way too much emotional energy into people they don’t know. Thank you for covering this Dr Grande,I really enjoy videos where you discuss or analyze current social events or trends. I feel like I’m being kept in the loop without having to watch the drama myself. 😂
@@bthomson They could put the same emotional energy into productive activities. Instead they escape into emotionalized fantasies: "people" we see on the computer screen are not people; they are images.
@@bennyblanco9377 Yes, the world, as it appears to each individual is a reflection of ones deeper emotional state and deeper still their Soul feeling. As one begins meditation the state of stillness is projected and one experiences syncronistic events and the feeling of limitless expanse. The world is experienced as dream where most are dreaming. The dream is an experience of a single mind and is revealed in those that experience awareness beyond ones falsified identity.
I once saw a woman post a tiktok about her brother picking her daughter up from daycare because she was crying. There were cameras in the daycare and the mom worked at the daycare. It was a cute video about how loved and doted on the baby is. A lot of people speculated that the brother was abusing his niece based in that 30 sec video. It made me so sad. That was clearly projection and so many people out there have been hurt
Nobody ever gives any benefit of the doubt anymore. They want to be the one who catches someone out to get their own minute of internet clout it makes it so that everyone can be seen as guilty for putting out 30 seconds of content and no context or knowledge of the individuals involved.
@@marylou4324 No I don't think he missed the point, this is a type of witch hunt. People are making assumptions about others based on their own experiences and fears (something Dr. Grande talked about in this video) and as a result harass and condemn someone without that person committing any sort of crime.
There's so much that I love about this video. It's bringing to light the way so many people on social media will watch something, see what they want to see, be absolutely certain what they see is correct, then make unfounded judgements (almost always negative) about not only the video but the entire lives and characters of the people involved.
@@PlsWaLuigiDomMe Correct, it is not a good thing at all. Communication should not be based on false assumptions which are based on preconceived notions and personal experiences.
As someone with anxiety, I don’t always respond well to surprises. Even if I’m happy! I get overwhelmed with all the attention and I feel pressured to respond “correctly”.
I'm the same way. I generally don't like surprises as they tend to make me nervous, as an introvert. If it was just the two of them, the reaction might have been very different.
I am so glad I grew up in an age without the Internet. Dr. Grande, you took a ridiculous situation & subject and gave us great insight into human behavior. Thank you.
@@bthomson That’s true. It’s only gonna get worse. A form of marshal law is coming. It’s funny you can say government plans on the net and get away from it. This thing is only beginning.
Grande is the only one who doesn't see it. she goes in 4 a kiss, he hugs her. all the other girls are laughing looking at her. the girl next to him slides his phone back 2 him in a sneaky way.
"This reveals that for millions of people there's hurt that resides just beneath the surface. There's a pain just waiting to be activated and just about any stimulus related to that pain will cause it to erupt." I wish you weren't so right about that, Dr. Grande.
People use relationships as internships or services and people as disposable items. Human brain doesn't tell the difference physical and emotional pain, same neuropaths are activated. So inflicting emotional pain on someone hurts the same as inflicting physical pain, it can feel like permanent medieval tortured to a sudden stabbing attack. Causing emotional pain on someone, especially with intent, or even in a neglecteful way, is straightforward evil and if if was possible to identify the harm caused, there should be legal consequences. As for the brain, ofc it registers all that happened that lead you to a life threatening situation.
Although people who post on TikTok things that should be private are asking for parasocial creeps to pay attention to them. It’s all creepy and strange.
Cracking a book once in a while and disciplined thinking doesn’t hurt either. You could end up with a carnival barker as president. If I had kids I would pay them to stay off TikTok, et al.
I agree that folks pick up popular buzzwords like "gaslight" and "narcissist" and throw them around like confetti, trying to sound intelligent and relevant. The latest word I'm hearing a lot of these days is "grift," which is used to describe a "petty or small-time swindle," when in fact the situation(s) they're talking about are large-scale swindles, thefts, or conspiracies to steal (something). Words matter, and with dictionary searches in the palms of our hands these days, folks should endeavor to be more careful. Another thoughtful video....thanks, Dr. G!
My brother doesn’t show a lot of emotion . If he would win the lottery he would keep his cool and say “Nice “ . Ha ! Can’t imagine watching a few seconds of someone’s life and tearing it apart !
I have no fight left in me. They made 'literally" mean "figuratively" and "whenever" mean "when", so who are we kidding? "Gaslighting" now means "deceiving". 😔
Damn this was such a great analysis. Hit the nail right on the head. The footage was awkward but very ambiguous. I was wondering why I didn’t see any of the red flags people were talking about. But projection of their own pain and past traumas make sense. Doesn’t excuse the assumptions but explains why they’re there. I feel sympathy for this couple...
I would, but if they’re doing things and recording it, then posting it on social media, they’re looking for attention. They should keep their relationship private if they want privacy. I’m not saying that people online diagnosing people they don’t know is right or good though because it certainly is not.
I’m glad you covered this Dr. Grande! There is so much material to be covered on TikTok. Would love to see more TikTok analysis. There’s a channel called “Mental Healness” run by a self proclaimed Narcissist. Lee (the creator in that channel) says he has been diagnosed with NPD and used his platform to help others detect and deal with narcissism in others. He has even said that he feeds his narcissism by helping people and knowing how many people watch him and think he’s great. Would love to see your analysis of his channel.
I’m actually really happy I had no idea what this was. Hearing about it from you Dr. Grande, was actually very enjoyable. PS I personally do not like surprises, especially filmed ones 🤷🏼♀️. Thanks Dr G
This is your best video yet. You said so many things that I think about. I have 5 children & have homeschooled them all. My 2 youngest are teens. I didn’t choose to home school because of some religious reason. I want them to think critically & truly know how to learn. It’s interesting that I am teaching them both psychology as a science this year & we are watching some of your videos along with our curriculum. I truly find your videos educational, brilliant & at times humorous.
Interesting content. I'm not a tiktok enthusiast but your social knowledge intrigues me greatly. I can especially relate to your view on words that have specific meanings. I have witnessed first hand through multitudes of college graduates with extremely limited vocabulary and/or correct usage. Example... highly educated CFO in my circle of friends that travels a great deal speaking of her trip to "New Hamster" 😆 I proceeded to ask her if that is near "Rhodent Island" Her reply with a straight face was "yes, it is" It truly makes me wonder if strengthening students vocabulary and proper usage is now forgotten. Thank you again Dr. Grande, for your time and interesting subject matter.
Thank you for this analysis. I wish I could make everyone online watch it and absorb the knowledge from it. So many people online like to analyze other relationships based on pictures or videos, calling the guys narcissistic when they don’t even know them and have no idea what the relationship is like. They definitely misuse words like gaslighting, narcissistic, and psychopath, as you stated. Oh and people who have never been diagnosed with anything will say they have OCD or anxiety disorder when they just have normal reactions to things, not interfering with their lives.
As someone on ASD spectrum, I am always amazed how people are so confident about reading others, their intentions, and situations. What's even more amazing to me is that they are right a lot of the times.
Dr Grande, what's your thoughts on the recent death of NASCAR driver and son of Zaxby's founder John Wes Townley? Allegedly he tried to attack his ex-wife with a hatchet and was killed by his ex-wife's new boyfriend. I find it to be a very intriguing story.
@@rullmourn1142 Good luck trying to find a fleshed out report on this incident. Hardly no one is covering this story, which I find odd because Townley is fairly high profile, and the manner of his alleged attack is what I would consider 'news worthy'.
Thank you for addressing the incorrect usage of gaslighting. I find this all over social media right now. I didn’t want to address it because someone is bound to ask who am I to say what it means. Nobody I’m Nobody. You on the other hand spent plenty of time in school to get your degrees so your opinion is much more valid. “Gaslight” is one of my favorite old movies though. Check it out.
I agree with you that is this the best we can do for viral videos and that people are projecting their own experiences and a lot more than they should into a short video where basically nothing much happens.
I feel like the couch is a metaphor for Afghanistan, the room is the entire middle east, and she represents the US and other imperialist western nations invading, while everyone on the couch are the innocent civilians just trying to get on with their daily lives without this strange interference from this unwanted militaristic threat. This is a deep video, with so much subtext, and hidden spiritual meanings, that it will take years of research to decipher all of it's many layers.
A big downside of the general population becoming more aware of mental illness and psychology is that they misuse or throw around medical terms that they only half understand at best- "OCD, phobia, dissociation, DID, "narc abuse", psychopath", etc. It's infuriating. Everything is pathologized.
He had his mind into something when she walked in ... yet ... he was warm and greeting. Everyone is making to much about it. It is a surprise. You can not jump to any conclusions about surprised guy.
It’s very unnerving that we have become like this as a culture. Ready to instantly read into and assess someone else’s intent from witnessing this strangers reaction over a few seconds time interval. Would any of us survive this type of scrutiny? How often have you been at a birthday party and people start singing as the cake comes out and everyone whips out their phones and starts filming each other and invariably, there’s someone there that doesn’t want to be video’d and they get upset? Imagine people reading into that and the persons feelings about the birthday person?
Why I backed out of Facebook- the drama was just too intense 4 me- guess I’ll go back some day, but it’s been possibly years now - sooo maybe not!! Just miss friends baby & animal pix!! ❤️ Dr G - see you tomorrow!!
Thank you for clearing up terminologies. This was much more interesting than a guy sitting on a couch. And yeah, most of the time the hoof beats are horses and not zebras.
"If the video was a minute long people would be writing full length novels on it." - Dr. Todd Grande. Hahahaha. As someone whose autistic and who got scared by this. This made me laugh way to hard. Idk how I'd react honestly. Like if my friend traveled a good distance and suprised me I'd hope I'd be enthusastic and jump up and down. But thats just not me? You know? I'd be like. Really happy to see them. I'm not someone who likes showing my affection publically. Thanks for reading. I might say OMG WOW but idk. I'm just a really private person.
Imo this is just his meat and potatoes ( like Hello Fresh! a great product!) He can have some innocent fun and still provide an important lesson! Bravo!🌵👕
Dr. Grande is in a beautiful position, in a creative sense. His subjects for analysis are almost infinite. He has only touched the surface of the topics he can explore. He is really carving out a unique niche. The key is to live in the present moment and enjoy the creative process. If one is so enmeshed in creating and sharing, there is little need for goals or any monetary concerns. Synchronicity and abundance will rain down with little personal effort. 🙏🧘♀️🧘♂️🌅
Dr Grande!!! Thank you so much for clarifying what gaslighting actually means! I’m so so sick of social media misusing it just to be catchy! Words mean things like you said!
Brilliant insight again, Doctor. You helped me to process my own feelings on this. Seeing this definitely triggered me as in my younger years, I definitely had a couple instances where I was contemplating doing something like this. Seeing this video took me back, but thank you for helping me understand my emotions on it.
This goes along with how sure people think they are about crime, and murderers, I see it daily in my crime groups. Like people will comment, [ I KNOW he killed her because he keeps looking at his watch and, bla, bla, bla...] It's actually quite tedious, and annoying, TBH.
I agree it’s insane. Like the current case everyone has been focused on, with protesters on horns outside the family’s home all day. Now I don’t agree with how the parents have handled the situation, but a lynch mob outside their (and more importantly their neighbors) home helps nothing.
True, but at least with murder cases, there's usually a lot more information to talk and speculate about. This 1 second video tells us absolutely nothing.
I feel so much better after watching this. I couldn't understand why I couldn't see what these millions of people were seeing. Even prominent people were accusing him of being a "gaslighter". The "couch guy" didn't act outside the ordinary in my opinion.
My interpretation of gaslighting also includes the denial of actual events. Not only are the victims denied their feelings but also their very reality. Common frases used are ”I never said that.” or ”That never happened.”.
My already challenging job as a teacher has been made harder by TikTok and particularly the TikTok Challenge. Dr. G, do you want to analyze that while you're at it? I'd love to hear your thoughts. September's challenge to vandalize the bathrooms has been completed at my school. Now onto smacking a staff member!
That is so crazy! Hopefully no one follows through with Octobers “challenge”! I would hate it for any kid to try and smack me… mostly for them bc I’d have to defend myself.
I am so out of touch, but when I was in school, when my daughter was ischool here in my ESD, anyone touching a teacher was so out of line, immediately suspended 1-2 weeks, and maybe out of both school district and ESD permanently. Children 8 and older knew it was illegal for a teacher to touch their bodies, they were respectful of everyones bodyspace. The best of luck.
The first online argument I ever became involved in was with a young lady who believed the words emigrate and migrate meant the same thing and were "interchangeable." It's actually quite shocking how many times a day I hear and see, mainly young people, and some mature adults misusing words and phrases. The most commonly abused of the former seem to be - "ironic" and the phrase - he/she has their work cut out for them. I'm 56, and I can't remember the last time I heard or saw both that word and that phrase used correctly.
Hello Bucket Head, my friend! Long time, no see. How are you? ❤ Dr. Grande definitely is THE Shirt Guy of YT! He could make a second channel on that, alone! 🤣 ❤💜💙💚🧡🤎💛🖤
@@JustDr.S Oh heyyy my sweet friend! Yeah, i was sick for a few days (not covid related!) and was sort of off the radar. Im so happy to hear from you tonight! Im getting my gear and studio ready to record a demo next week with one of the girls i play in Vegas with. It's just promo stuff for casinos and agents, but im happy to be working again after the virus knocked out all my gigs last year. It was really hard on working musicians.. but, everything opened back up a few months ago, so im back in the saddle again! How bout you, my friend? Is everything good?
Too many people in society nowadays believe that complex issues can be explained in sound bites and complex relationships can be revealed in a superficial, inane TikTok clip.
You made me look 👀 I do believe people are reading something that is not true as well. Amazing how people can't be happy for someone nowadays. You're right about the something behind the oppressed feelings, I was reading a book, Midnight Libraries, 4 chapters in I cried, laughed and somehow felt healed from the pain after hearing it! Unreal huh ? Nearly 70 and have alot of hurt inside still. Not anger, suppressed pain I did not want to feel till....now! Move on! Thank you doc !
Thank you, you are the first person i heard putting one of the fundamental problems with hyperactive use of social media into a coherent analysis: mass projection of fears.
I agree wholeheartedly with your analysis here…I hadn’t seen the video but it is ridiculous the amount of views and comments it has received. Where will we all be 20 years from now?
Another thing is I feel like the video also pointed out how impressionable some people are. My take on it were there was a rather small (TikTok does trend younger so there's conversation to be had there about how few might have relationship experience but watch more than they experience) but vocal group of people who could've indeed been hurt similarly before and were there to leave initial comments. Then there's another group that loves salacion so even if there wasn't evidence, the former group informed the latter group and they are more apt to say that's what it is. I'm sure as things gain momentum, people are interested in not being the only one who 'can't' see it so they dogpile on so they are part of the 'in' group as well or they just want to join in because it's funny. I always wonder what would happen if just different people saw the video first and were first to leave their comments
I’m not surprised by people’s analysis. I’ve been following the Gabby Petito case and the theories people have come up with and are convinced their invented story is true. I feel like it’s projection as well.
My friends of 20 years know not to surprise me. I would have shut down, or maybe even cry if it involved something as large as this video. No birthday in a restaurant, no cameras. My immediate reaction is so unnatural, and extreme. I know that’s not normal. He seems perfectly normal to me. If he was over the top excited it would just look and “be” fake. He didn’t even have time to process what was happening. This is the problem with people using emojis and TikToks and actually spending real time other humans.
This is how I felt about the entire thing as well. It's a joke that folks wanted to portray this in so many ways, projecting their own ideas and theories onto them. Idk how you could really discern that many negative things about two people and a relationship given such a short video. I saw it and immediately said "I don't understand what's wrong here. He's not overly excited, but who knows what context is around this and how everyone feels at the time. I don't have enough information to make ANY judgement about what these two have going on."
I haven’t seen it and don’t get on TikTok at all, but anything that’s recorded where the camera is visible, whatever it is is an act for their audience. People will literally say and do anything for views, which equals more money for them.
I like that the name is the most troubling thing for you, because you are 100% correct. It’s pretty lazy, plus I thought it said “cough guy” so I was pretty intrigued.
Some people just don't like surprises, it could be as simple as that. My friends put together a surprise birthday party for me once. It was a sweet gesture and all but I felt overwhelmed and anxious when I was suddenly confronted by a room full of people. I hate being the center of attention. If I hadn't hidden my feelings as well as I did, people might have thought I was an ungrateful asshole. I might have looked like couch guy.
Dr. Grande, when you were studying for your PhD, did you think that you’d be explaining ‘couch guy’ to just short of a million people?
For real! Thanks for your Phd thesis, and your thousands of hours of learning.... please look into this 45 second unambiguous tiktok 🙄
@@MonkeyButt5000 I don't see how doctor Grande is like doctor Phil, The latter has a talk show and directly interacts/ gives "advice" to people. And doctor Grande has a UA-cam channel where he speculates on what could be happening in a given situation.
@@MonkeyButt5000 nah, mate, very much different.
@Monkey Butt 5000 someone's jealous.. and straight up trolling. I agree with what the two responses said before me that a Dr. Phil comparison is waaaay off. To add to that Dr. Grande is an ACTUAL LICENSED DOCTOR!!! Who is he SELLING OUT to? What are you a skater from the 90's? He isn't a band. What is your real problem with our good doctor here? Please explain what he is doing so wrong in your eyes. I'll have a real back and forth with you about it without stooping to kindergarten Insults.
@@MonkeyButt5000 you're a troll. Move on.
The rise of social media has enabled people to invest way too much emotional energy into people they don’t know. Thank you for covering this Dr Grande,I really enjoy videos where you discuss or analyze current social events or trends. I feel like I’m being kept in the loop without having to watch the drama myself. 😂
But maybe people had a lot of emotional energy to spare? Covid has sidelined many of us! It would be better if logic was more in evidence though!
@@bthomson They could put the same emotional energy into productive activities. Instead they escape into emotionalized fantasies: "people" we see on the computer screen are not people; they are images.
🎯
Love me a parasocial relationship 😅
I mean, the same thing could be said about television.
“A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart.”
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
A perfect description of projection!
Nice quote
@@bennyblanco9377
Yes, the world, as it appears to each individual is a reflection of ones deeper emotional state and deeper still their Soul feeling.
As one begins meditation the state of stillness is projected and one experiences syncronistic events and the feeling of limitless expanse.
The world is experienced as dream where most are dreaming.
The dream is an experience of a single mind and is revealed in those that experience awareness beyond ones falsified identity.
@@Julia-uh4li how bout this for a comment.....”No one can get thru a day without a compliment; in reality the filter deserves the compliment”. 😅
Man, ain't that the truth?
I once saw a woman post a tiktok about her brother picking her daughter up from daycare because she was crying. There were cameras in the daycare and the mom worked at the daycare. It was a cute video about how loved and doted on the baby is. A lot of people speculated that the brother was abusing his niece based in that 30 sec video. It made me so sad. That was clearly projection and so many people out there have been hurt
Nobody ever gives any benefit of the doubt anymore. They want to be the one who catches someone out to get their own minute of internet clout it makes it so that everyone can be seen as guilty for putting out 30 seconds of content and no context or knowledge of the individuals involved.
@@erdelegy I think you missed the point of this video.
@@marylou4324 No I don't think he missed the point, this is a type of witch hunt. People are making assumptions about others based on their own experiences and fears (something Dr. Grande talked about in this video) and as a result harass and condemn someone without that person committing any sort of crime.
that’s sad. people see what they want to see. people want to be the hero, the mentor, etc.
Sad
"I guess it's a good thing he wasn't sitting on a stool". It's these little remarks touch my heart and make my day. 😂
I lost it when Dr. Grande said that, lmao.
Same. But wish he was called Stool Guy. THAT would make MY day. And I haven't even watched the damn thing!
Hahaha right 😅😅🤣
Same!❤
There's so much that I love about this video. It's bringing to light the way so many people on social media will watch something, see what they want to see, be absolutely certain what they see is correct, then make unfounded judgements (almost always negative) about not only the video but the entire lives and characters of the people involved.
But at least we're communicating! May be not the best logical readings but imo it is helpful for people to talk!
@@bthomson is it though if it’s just misinformation?
Well, at least we are beginning to know how much of that is around!🤔😎
Agreed, and I actually think it’s more damaging than it is helpful.
@@PlsWaLuigiDomMe Correct, it is not a good thing at all. Communication should not be based on false assumptions which are based on preconceived notions and personal experiences.
I’ve been curious what this is about, but not curious enough to go watch for myself, and for that, I thank you.
Me too.
Same here.
Maybe that is because most of your romantic experiences have been positive?
@@bthomson ?? I didn’t even know what it was about besides seeing “couch guy” everywhere.
100% me.
As someone with anxiety, I don’t always respond well to surprises. Even if I’m happy! I get overwhelmed with all the attention and I feel pressured to respond “correctly”.
And that's just one option why somebody wouldn't jump for joy in this kind of situation. Cool that you shared this perspective.
I'm the same way. I hate surprises, unless they're coming from my husband because he knows not to scare me with anything because of my anxiety & PTSD.
Yes, me too! Add being very socially awkward to anxiety and BOOM! You become a people repellent.
I'm the same way. I generally don't like surprises as they tend to make me nervous, as an introvert. If it was just the two of them, the reaction might have been very different.
You are not alone in having this kind of response. Welcome to the club--which also includes people without anxiety!
I am so glad I grew up in an age without the Internet. Dr. Grande, you took a ridiculous situation & subject and gave us great insight into human behavior. Thank you.
Completely unrelated, but my husband's last name is Petrosky. I did a double take lol.
I must be doing something right…because I’ve never heard of couch guy. It’s amazing what goes viral. Haha. Seriously.
I am too old for Tik Tok.I thought it was something for kids,until some months ago, but obviously i was wrong
Due to Covid it must be mentioned that we all have a LOT of free time to fill!
@@bthomson That’s true. It’s only gonna get worse. A form of marshal law is coming. It’s funny you can say government plans on the net and get away from it. This thing is only beginning.
Same here🤣🤣🤣
@greenbay haha.
After a week of seeing amateur analysis on Tiktok, I needed the real deal from my favorite Dr on the internet!
Thank you Dr. Grande!
Bunny🐇- Good one!🎖🏆🏅
Grande is the only one who doesn't see it. she goes in 4 a kiss, he hugs her. all the other girls are laughing looking at her. the girl next to him slides his phone back 2 him in a sneaky way.
Social media has provided a mouthpiece for many millions of people who have no business having a mouthpiece.
"This reveals that for millions of people there's hurt that resides just beneath the surface. There's a pain just waiting to be activated and just about any stimulus related to that pain will cause it to erupt."
I wish you weren't so right about that, Dr. Grande.
People use relationships as internships or services and people as disposable items.
Human brain doesn't tell the difference physical and emotional pain, same neuropaths are activated. So inflicting emotional pain on someone hurts the same as inflicting physical pain, it can feel like permanent medieval tortured to a sudden stabbing attack. Causing emotional pain on someone, especially with intent, or even in a neglecteful way, is straightforward evil and if if was possible to identify the harm caused, there should be legal consequences.
As for the brain, ofc it registers all that happened that lead you to a life threatening situation.
This is why I’m not on social media . Scrutiny and I am too lighthearted for it .
Yeah, I like put ups, instead of put downs, life's more fun. :-)
It's also an indicator of our world's tendency to fixate on trivialities.
Professor Dodson! I love your vids on existentialism, great to see you here :)
You'd think in a world where a pandemic is ongoing, there would be better things to worry about than teen romance.
"parasocial creeps that should get some fresh air" is pretty accurate description of the commenters in this situation tbh
They're the ones posting online on tiktok about their relationship. It's tiktok.
But I haven't read them, so maybe you're right.
I mean, that's an awful lot coming from anyone with a furry pfp.
Although people who post on TikTok things that should be private are asking for parasocial creeps to pay attention to them. It’s all creepy and strange.
Cracking a book once in a while and disciplined thinking doesn’t hurt either. You could end up with a carnival barker as president. If I had kids I would pay them to stay off TikTok, et al.
"That's pretty much the whole video ". Dr Grande you are the best.
I agree that folks pick up popular buzzwords like "gaslight" and "narcissist" and throw them around like confetti, trying to sound intelligent and relevant. The latest word I'm hearing a lot of these days is "grift," which is used to describe a "petty or small-time swindle," when in fact the situation(s) they're talking about are large-scale swindles, thefts, or conspiracies to steal (something). Words matter, and with dictionary searches in the palms of our hands these days, folks should endeavor to be more careful. Another thoughtful video....thanks, Dr. G!
My brother doesn’t show a lot of emotion . If he would win the lottery he would keep his cool and say “Nice “ . Ha !
Can’t imagine watching a few seconds of someone’s life and tearing it apart !
my autistic ass would do something similar I feel bad for the guy I'm autistic and I cant imagine being the on the internet
Yeah. Some people just aren't prone to big outward displays of emotion. It's just the way they are.
I have no fight left in me. They made 'literally" mean "figuratively" and "whenever" mean "when", so who are we kidding? "Gaslighting" now means "deceiving". 😔
I am so sick of people misusing gaslighting. Most people don't even know the correct definition. Drives me insane.
Let's not forget how they "seen" it, him, her, something! Drive me crazy, don't they know they sound illiterate!
@@oneworldawakening "ironic" is the one that hurts me the most.
Defiantly means definitely too. 😢
You rock! I love how you keep your platform light-hearted.
Exactly!💎
Imagine being forever remembered as “Couch Guy”
Imagine a boy whose dad called him a bee! ( Only kidding🐝)
he can probably capitalize on this by pitching an ad to a furniture company! lol
Damn this was such a great analysis. Hit the nail right on the head. The footage was awkward but very ambiguous. I was wondering why I didn’t see any of the red flags people were talking about. But projection of their own pain and past traumas make sense. Doesn’t excuse the assumptions but explains why they’re there. I feel sympathy for this couple...
Empathy award!🎖🏆🏅
I would, but if they’re doing things and recording it, then posting it on social media, they’re looking for attention. They should keep their relationship private if they want privacy. I’m not saying that people online diagnosing people they don’t know is right or good though because it certainly is not.
"Literally" is another word that people use frequently, and use it incorrectly most of the time, especially young ones.
I’m glad you covered this Dr. Grande! There is so much material to be covered on TikTok. Would love to see more TikTok analysis. There’s a channel called “Mental Healness” run by a self proclaimed Narcissist. Lee (the creator in that channel) says he has been diagnosed with NPD and used his platform to help others detect and deal with narcissism in others. He has even said that he feeds his narcissism by helping people and knowing how many people watch him and think he’s great. Would love to see your analysis of his channel.
I could listen to Dr Grande say "Tik Tok" for an hour
I’m actually really happy I had no idea what this was. Hearing about it from you Dr. Grande, was actually very enjoyable.
PS I personally do not like surprises, especially filmed ones 🤷🏼♀️.
Thanks Dr G
If Dr. Grande went viral he'd be the "Only Speculating Guy".
"Only Speculating Guy in Spectacles" to go with his full title, if you like. 😜
This is your best video yet. You said so many things that I think about. I have 5 children & have homeschooled them all. My 2 youngest are teens. I didn’t choose to home school because of some religious reason. I want them to think critically & truly know how to learn. It’s interesting that I am teaching them both psychology as a science this year & we are watching some of your videos along with our curriculum. I truly find your videos educational, brilliant & at times humorous.
Liking the shirt! Your shirt is way more enthusiastic than the couch video.
Way more enthusiastic! Good call, Anna! Possibly the shirt is gaslighting us. . .
The ambiguity is, in itself, very suspicious 😀
Interesting content. I'm not a tiktok enthusiast but your social knowledge intrigues me greatly. I can especially relate to your view on words that have specific meanings. I have witnessed first hand through multitudes of college graduates with extremely limited vocabulary and/or correct usage. Example... highly educated CFO in my circle of friends that travels a great deal speaking of her trip to "New Hamster" 😆 I proceeded to ask her if that is near "Rhodent Island"
Her reply with a straight face was "yes, it is"
It truly makes me wonder if strengthening students vocabulary and proper usage is now forgotten.
Thank you again Dr. Grande, for your time and interesting subject matter.
I apperciate your work on making this video Dr. G never thought you could stomach these nauseating tic tok users.
Aw! C'mon! The younger generation always seems depraved to older folks! Live and let live (and even sometimes enjoy!)👴👵
Thank you for analyzing this. People just want to be ‘something’ on social media. Lots of bullying
Thank you for this analysis. I wish I could make everyone online watch it and absorb the knowledge from it. So many people online like to analyze other relationships based on pictures or videos, calling the guys narcissistic when they don’t even know them and have no idea what the relationship is like. They definitely misuse words like gaslighting, narcissistic, and psychopath, as you stated. Oh and people who have never been diagnosed with anything will say they have OCD or anxiety disorder when they just have normal reactions to things, not interfering with their lives.
Thank you for explaining Gaslighting I really didn’t know that and was afraid to ask 😂
OMG DR. GRANDE! I’m laughing so hard that you’re covering this. Haven’t watched it yet but you’ve already made my day
As someone on ASD spectrum, I am always amazed how people are so confident about reading others, their intentions, and situations. What's even more amazing to me is that they are right a lot of the times.
Dr Grande, what's your thoughts on the recent death of NASCAR driver and son of Zaxby's founder John Wes Townley?
Allegedly he tried to attack his ex-wife with a hatchet and was killed by his ex-wife's new boyfriend.
I find it to be a very intriguing story.
Oh, I have to search for that, thanks.
LET'S GO BRANDON!!!!!
@@tbuddy7141 Who or what is 'Brandon'?
@@sosurreptitious OK thanks, I thought it had something to do with the Townley attack.
@@rullmourn1142 Good luck trying to find a fleshed out report on this incident. Hardly no one is covering this story, which I find odd because Townley is fairly high profile, and the manner of his alleged attack is what I would consider 'news worthy'.
Meanwhile, as we speak, there are hundreds of people on twitter right now convinced Brian Laundrie is hiding in soil in his parent's vegetable garden.
Thank you for addressing the incorrect usage of gaslighting. I find this all over social media right now. I didn’t want to address it because someone is bound to ask who am I to say what it means. Nobody I’m Nobody. You on the other hand spent plenty of time in school to get your degrees so your opinion is much more valid. “Gaslight” is one of my favorite old movies though. Check it out.
I agree with you that is this the best we can do for viral videos and that people are projecting their own experiences and a lot more than they should into a short video where basically nothing much happens.
“It’s a good thing he wasn’t sitting on a stool” 😂. Wonderful commentary as always, Dr. Grande!
😂 This was my favourite part.
I feel like the couch is a metaphor for Afghanistan, the room is the entire middle east, and she represents the US and other imperialist western nations invading, while everyone on the couch are the innocent civilians just trying to get on with their daily lives without this strange interference from this unwanted militaristic threat. This is a deep video, with so much subtext, and hidden spiritual meanings, that it will take years of research to decipher all of it's many layers.
Yes period.
Yeess dude lol.
Again, Dr Grande Making the unsensible make sense!
A big downside of the general population becoming more aware of mental illness and psychology is that they misuse or throw around medical terms that they only half understand at best- "OCD, phobia, dissociation, DID, "narc abuse", psychopath", etc. It's infuriating. Everything is pathologized.
He had his mind into something when she walked in ... yet ... he was warm and greeting. Everyone is making to much about it. It is a surprise. You can not jump to any conclusions about surprised guy.
I don't like surprises because you never know what could happen. No thank you.
It’s very unnerving that we have become like this as a culture. Ready to instantly read into and assess someone else’s intent from witnessing this strangers reaction over a few seconds time interval. Would any of us survive this type of scrutiny? How often have you been at a birthday party and people start singing as the cake comes out and everyone whips out their phones and starts filming each other and invariably, there’s someone there that doesn’t want to be video’d and they get upset? Imagine people reading into that and the persons feelings about the birthday person?
Personally I always like it when people can laugh at themselves rather than get all upset!
The world is evil and it’s never gonna change
Why I backed out of Facebook- the drama was just too intense 4 me- guess I’ll go back some day, but it’s been possibly years now - sooo maybe not!! Just miss friends baby & animal pix!! ❤️ Dr G - see you tomorrow!!
“Accuracy in communication has a purpose & a benefit.” 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Psychology Note:
Their relationship was alert and oriented x3 and was "within normal limits."
Thank you for clearing up terminologies. This was much more interesting than a guy sitting on a couch. And yeah, most of the time the hoof beats are horses and not zebras.
But zebras are cool!🤗
Dr Grande, I Googled “therapist, UA-cam and cactus” You Popped Up! I knew you would get a laugh out of that.😆
And you got a heart!
My husband is incapable of showing excitement. I guess that means he doesn’t love me 🤷♀️
Good one. 🤜🤛
"If the video was a minute long people would be writing full length novels on it." - Dr. Todd Grande. Hahahaha. As someone whose autistic and who got scared by this. This made me laugh way to hard. Idk how I'd react honestly. Like if my friend traveled a good distance and suprised me I'd hope I'd be enthusastic and jump up and down. But thats just not me? You know? I'd be like. Really happy to see them. I'm not someone who likes showing my affection publically. Thanks for reading. I might say OMG WOW but idk. I'm just a really private person.
I cannot believe Dr G covered this.
yeah i can't believe this.
Imo this is just his meat and potatoes ( like Hello Fresh! a great product!) He can have some innocent fun and still provide an important lesson! Bravo!🌵👕
The internet is truly connected. My jaw dropped when i saw the title of this vid
Dr. Grande is in a beautiful position, in a creative sense.
His subjects for analysis are almost infinite.
He has only touched the surface of the topics he can explore.
He is really carving out a unique niche.
The key is to live in the present moment and enjoy the creative process.
If one is so enmeshed in creating and sharing, there is little need for goals or any monetary concerns.
Synchronicity and abundance will rain down with little personal effort.
🙏🧘♀️🧘♂️🌅
This is actually a perfect topic for someone who is in the business of assessing and diagnosing human behavior.
Dr Grande!!! Thank you so much for clarifying what gaslighting actually means! I’m so so sick of social media misusing it just to be catchy! Words mean things like you said!
The creativity of teenagers aren't developed. Imagine being a serial killer and called "The Couch Killer"
"depth" and "fear" summed it up nicely. Well done and thank you, Dr. Grande
Brilliant insight again, Doctor. You helped me to process my own feelings on this. Seeing this definitely triggered me as in my younger years, I definitely had a couple instances where I was contemplating doing something like this. Seeing this video took me back, but thank you for helping me understand my emotions on it.
This goes along with how sure people think they are about crime, and murderers, I see it daily in my crime groups. Like people will comment, [ I KNOW he killed her because he keeps looking at his watch and, bla, bla, bla...] It's actually quite tedious, and annoying, TBH.
I agree it’s insane. Like the current case everyone has been focused on, with protesters on horns outside the family’s home all day. Now I don’t agree with how the parents have handled the situation, but a lynch mob outside their (and more importantly their neighbors) home helps nothing.
@@frankcesaretti4817 ..Did you hear that Tom Sharkey killed himself today in Florida, I just saw it.
True, but at least with murder cases, there's usually a lot more information to talk and speculate about. This 1 second video tells us absolutely nothing.
Brilliant deep analysis, good lesson in all social dynamics, all individual perception .
Great lessons can be learned in strange places when you have a good teacher!
@@bthomson - exactly. this was an unexpected gem of a lesson.
we are all biased in our perception of others, based from our own experiences.
True! But each viewpoint can be another stepping stone to interesting ( if not always useful!) perceptions!
@@bthomson yes , it all makes life interesting.
Excellent as always. You made me lol at the possible title of 'stool guy 'best regards
I feel so much better after watching this. I couldn't understand why I couldn't see what these millions of people were seeing. Even prominent people were accusing him of being a "gaslighter".
The "couch guy" didn't act outside the ordinary in my opinion.
I’m so glad you’ve covered this. I couldn’t believe the reaction that people had to it - I was beginning to think I was blind to nefarious signals
Great vocabulary! 🏆👩🎓
I feel like this is a PERFECT example of how conspiratorial thinking works. People see what they want to see, they can project ANYTHING onto ANYTHING.
Lol! Well said! Honestly, I didn't find " couch guy" that entertaining, but your dry humor takes it to a whole new level.
My interpretation of gaslighting also includes the denial of actual events. Not only are the victims denied their feelings but also their very reality. Common frases used are ”I never said that.” or ”That never happened.”.
My already challenging job as a teacher has been made harder by TikTok and particularly the TikTok Challenge. Dr. G, do you want to analyze that while you're at it? I'd love to hear your thoughts. September's challenge to vandalize the bathrooms has been completed at my school. Now onto smacking a staff member!
That is so crazy! Hopefully no one follows through with Octobers “challenge”! I would hate it for any kid to try and smack me… mostly for them bc I’d have to defend myself.
I am so out of touch, but when I was in school, when my daughter was ischool here in my ESD, anyone touching a teacher was so out of line, immediately suspended 1-2 weeks, and maybe out of both school district and ESD permanently. Children 8 and older knew it was illegal for a teacher to touch their bodies, they were respectful of everyones bodyspace. The best of luck.
It always bothers me when people forget that words mean things ~ Dr. Grande lol I want that on a shirt.
Your dry humor injected into your sedate analyses always gets me. "I guess it's a good thing he wasn't sitting on a stool." Cracking up
Well shoot... I was trying to avoid this trending topic but since Dr. Grande is analyzing it... 🤦🏼♀️
As a guy sitting on a couch, I did find your analyses of this case to be far more interesting than a guy sitting on a couch. :)
The way our good Doc first says TicToc!!!! OMG... you can't get more adult then that! God I love this man!!
Extrapolating from one's own experience almost invariably gets the wrong answer. At least that's my experience.
The first online argument I ever became involved in was with a young lady who believed the words emigrate and migrate meant the same thing and were "interchangeable." It's actually quite shocking how many times a day I hear and see, mainly young people, and some mature adults misusing words and phrases. The most commonly abused of the former seem to be - "ironic" and the phrase - he/she has their work cut out for them. I'm 56, and I can't remember the last time I heard or saw both that word and that phrase used correctly.
Yet another great upload by "Shirt Guy" today!
🤣🤣🤣
Hello Bucket Head, my friend! Long time, no see. How are you? ❤
Dr. Grande definitely is THE Shirt Guy of YT! He could make a second channel on that, alone! 🤣
❤💜💙💚🧡🤎💛🖤
@@JustDr.S Oh heyyy my sweet friend! Yeah, i was sick for a few days (not covid related!) and was sort of off the radar. Im so happy to hear from you tonight! Im getting my gear and studio ready to record a demo next week with one of the girls i play in Vegas with. It's just promo stuff for casinos and agents, but im happy to be working again after the virus knocked out all my gigs last year. It was really hard on working musicians.. but, everything opened back up a few months ago, so im back in the saddle again!
How bout you, my friend? Is everything good?
Too many people in society nowadays believe that complex issues can be explained in sound bites and complex relationships can be revealed in a superficial, inane TikTok clip.
You made me look 👀 I do believe people are reading something that is not true as well. Amazing how people can't be happy for someone nowadays. You're right about the something behind the oppressed feelings, I was reading a book, Midnight Libraries, 4 chapters in I cried, laughed and somehow felt healed from the pain after hearing it! Unreal huh ? Nearly 70 and have alot of hurt inside still. Not anger, suppressed pain I did not want to feel till....now! Move on! Thank you doc !
This is showing signs of "Petitoism", where posters make snap judgements about a situation that they HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT HAPPENED!
Not everyone expresses excitement by jumping up and screaming.
Exactly. I thought he acts like me. I don't jump up and down from excitement and I'm slow to react.
Thank you, you are the first person i heard putting one of the fundamental problems with hyperactive use of social media into a coherent analysis: mass projection of fears.
I agree wholeheartedly with your analysis here…I hadn’t seen the video but it is ridiculous the amount of views and comments it has received. Where will we all be 20 years from now?
Ugh. I'm so tired of people misusing the term "gaslighting". You somehow managed to make this short video into something informative and educational.
Brilliant analysis!Thank you Dr. Grande! 🙂
Another thing is I feel like the video also pointed out how impressionable some people are. My take on it were there was a rather small (TikTok does trend younger so there's conversation to be had there about how few might have relationship experience but watch more than they experience) but vocal group of people who could've indeed been hurt similarly before and were there to leave initial comments. Then there's another group that loves salacion so even if there wasn't evidence, the former group informed the latter group and they are more apt to say that's what it is. I'm sure as things gain momentum, people are interested in not being the only one who 'can't' see it so they dogpile on so they are part of the 'in' group as well or they just want to join in because it's funny. I always wonder what would happen if just different people saw the video first and were first to leave their comments
Everyone’s an expert, in their own mind.
You got that right
And isn't that better than hating yourself!
@@bthomson being delusional? I dunno. Lemme go ask myself.
Gaslighting and ironic are two of the most abused words of the English language
I hadn't heard about this but do I really need to know? I have math homework. But thanks for making me laugh this morning, Dr. Grande! ❤️
All work and no play...😸
The term “gaslighting” is gaslighting all of us.
I’m not surprised by people’s analysis. I’ve been following the Gabby Petito case and the theories people have come up with and are convinced their invented story is true. I feel like it’s projection as well.
That is what happened when no information is given out! I understand that they must protect their case but...
My friends of 20 years know not to surprise me. I would have shut down, or maybe even cry if it involved something as large as this video. No birthday in a restaurant, no cameras. My immediate reaction is so unnatural, and extreme. I know that’s not normal. He seems perfectly normal to me. If he was over the top excited it would just look and “be” fake. He didn’t even have time to process what was happening. This is the problem with people using emojis and TikToks and actually spending real time other humans.
This is how I felt about the entire thing as well. It's a joke that folks wanted to portray this in so many ways, projecting their own ideas and theories onto them. Idk how you could really discern that many negative things about two people and a relationship given such a short video. I saw it and immediately said "I don't understand what's wrong here. He's not overly excited, but who knows what context is around this and how everyone feels at the time. I don't have enough information to make ANY judgement about what these two have going on."
I haven’t seen it and don’t get on TikTok at all, but anything that’s recorded where the camera is visible, whatever it is is an act for their audience. People will literally say and do anything for views, which equals more money for them.
@@cuppycakey5013 I concur, doctor
I like that the name is the most troubling thing for you, because you are 100% correct. It’s pretty lazy, plus I thought it said “cough guy” so I was pretty intrigued.
Dr. Grande you're cracking me up! "Guess it's a good thing he wasnt sitting on a stool" 😂
Thank you! Misuse of the term "gaslighting" drives me 🍌 🍌 🍌.
Most mundane, yet funniest analysis I've heard from u doc
Funny and thought provoking!
Some people just don't like surprises, it could be as simple as that. My friends put together a surprise birthday party for me once. It was a sweet gesture and all but I felt overwhelmed and anxious when I was suddenly confronted by a room full of people. I hate being the center of attention. If I hadn't hidden my feelings as well as I did, people might have thought I was an ungrateful asshole. I might have looked like couch guy.
“everybody is gaslighting everyone else” 😅
Hello Dr.Grande, What is the main difference between projecting and projective identification?