everything going on in my life right now
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- Опубліковано 14 чер 2023
- kind of a life update and why things have been so challenging lately. also the intro to a series of me starting to get my life together again and feel more in control. cleaning and cooking content coming your way soon.
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tiktok | @possessedbyhorror & @possessedbymotherhood
email | sarahhawkinson@gmail.com
twitter | #!/sarahmhawkinson
horror channel | bit.ly/1h7ZKUF
Losing a parent was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, and I couldn’t imagine doing it as a new mama. Much much love to you. Be gentle with yourself and let yourself feel it when you can ❤
BOOK RECOMMENDATION: How to keep house while drowning by K.C. Davis. It's about keeping a functional space when everything is terrible. And it works. Good luck, Sarah ❤️
You look like Miley Cyrus
That book is a real game changer!
Came to the comments to recommend this! I can't stress enough how good this book is for helping you take care of yourself and having self-compassion. Highly highly recommend!
Amazing book! Second this!
Oh Sarah, I’m so sorry.
I just had my first baby on May 6th, and also lost my father on May 22nd. I understand feeling like you don’t know how you’re processing, because the combination of these events is so surreal.
I’m grieving with you, and processing with you, as a long-time viewer, peer and fellow new mom. ❤️
- Elle
skimble coming to sit with you when you were struggling was such a sweet moment 😭🤍
she always knows 🥲
Sarah, I watched you since I´ve been 15 years old. I am 23 now. With your honesty, personal growth and cool, unapologetic authenticity you have been such a role model for me. I think I have never called anyone my role model. But you really feel like a youtube big sister. You dealing with your life despite all the struggle that is part of it, really makes me feel like I can deal with mine. I wish you all the best. Take good care! Much love from Germany
I’m sorry for your loss, Sarah ❤ I know it’s not the same but my cat I’ve had for 13 years passed two weeks ago when I was 32 weeks pregnant. so excited for you to be posting on this channel more. My baby is due in one month. Your pregnancy and motherhood content has been so helpful for me!
Sarah, I know where you are. I lost my dad at 14. I was not ok for a very long time. I'm still not ok in certain ways even to today. It is TOTALLY OK NOT TO BE OK. You're on the right track with your coping mechanisms, because journaling helped me. It's so therapeutic! And it gave me a record of all the memories I would have forgotten. And those were not just about the time my dad passed, but the past memories of when I was 13 and below with my dad, the ones that I didn't want to forget as my memory forgets. And, if anything, you can capture those memories for Fern! She won't know much about her grandfather when she's older unless you tell her. By writing down your thoughts, your memories, those things that you want to have a permanent reminder of, capture those memories; and they'll be stories you can save for her (and for you!). Be her memory.
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You've got a lot of things you want to do, and all of those are healthy, but at the same time, everything has to be a balance. You need to be the best YOU you can be mentally and emotionally, and it is very, VERY easy to push through and keep doing things without taking the time to mourn. You'll have some ups and downs with mourning; some days, you will be fine, and others, you'll be a mess. Beginning or ending grief periods won't happen overnight. It's impossible to say how long it will take because everyone's situation is different; everyone's relationships with their dads is going to be different. But, be careful not to push grieving aside in favor of trying to "get back to normal". Nothing will ever be normal again: you will always feel that loss. You'll want to share things with him, tell him things, have him there for major events in life. Loss is hard, but it can be livable. It can have its bright days. You can reach a point where you will find peace with it. The hurt doesn't stop, but it does lessen over the years, as long as you keep moving forward. That only happens when you give yourself time to process and accept what happened.
I will warn you now, your wedding day will be one of the best days, and one of the worst, in your life. I couldn't go to a wedding without crying for about 10 years after my dad passed. I knew there were things I wouldn't have because of my dad's death. In order to enjoy the moment, you will need to prepare yourself for that before the day comes.
Cry. Be mad. Be devastated. Be human. And process your feelings. YOU ARE VALIDATED IN EVERYTHING YOU FEEL. No one gets to tell you how to feel, or how long to be in any emotional state, but please... Be careful. Don't get stuck in despair. Without accepting your "new normal", without growing from it, enduring it, and moving on from the pain of loss (eventually), you can get stuck reliving it, and emotionally stunting yourself. You won't move on from the loss itself, but you can move on from the majority of how much it hurts.
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Lastly, please, please keep talking. Talk to your fiance. Talk to a friend. Talk to somebody. When you mentioned what happened to you, I reached out on Instagram, because I hoped that you had someone to talk to. I meant it when I said when I said you could message me- I'd be a crying shoulder and listen to you if you wanted that. I'm no stranger to loss, and I can take a beating with it if I have to... Or, help someone else carry that burden. I've been there. Reach out if you want to.
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Above all, take care of yourself. Take care of Fern. Take care of your fiance (as he will take care of you). And know that you don't have to bear your burdens or sorrows alone.
-Sarah G
So sorry about your father passing and the struggles you had with breastfeeding! I’m happy to hear the baby is happy and healthy, wishing you the best tackling your list and here’s to getting life back on track! You got this! ❤
This hit really hard for me. I also had a very difficult pregnancy/postpartum because of outside life circumstances and only now, when when my son is 5 and a half years old, do I feel like I'm beginning to truly come out of it and feel like things are back on track. I have been thinking a lot about trying to get things on track in a similar way you and so many other commenters are. Thank you so much for sharing ! We are all in this together ❤
I was just watching Podcrushed and Julia Louis-Dreyfus was talking about her dad passing and how she felt like the similarities between someone passing is the same as someone giving birth. I’m paraphrasing this awfully but she said there’s a feeling of awe and mystery surrounding the two. I hope you give yourself grace through this time of grief and understand that you are doing your best ❤❤❤
I’m so sorry about losing your dad. I lost my mom 3 years ago a couple days after my birthday. Honestly, it has taken me years to process. Everyone is different when it comes to processing grief, so don’t be so hard on yourself. Just give it time. ❤
Girl I hear you. My baby (now 8weeks) has been a slow gainer the whole time and it’s been so stressful. We went through exclusively nursing, combo feeding, pumping, back to exclusively nursing for now. It’s all so exhausting. Just some solidarity from another new mom over here. We’re doing our best!
Oh mama, feeding is so hard. My daughter and i went through the ringer, lots of tears and having to resort to exclusive pumping. Its hard. My baby rejecting my breast still hurts so I FEEL this. Every once in a while i find myself still try but she just wont and inknow how hard it is to try to be ok with that feeling. It feels like a blow especially after having the birth not go to plan (mine didnt go to plan at all) and still miss being able to nurse my baby as she has completely refused the breast for two months now. All this to say is you arent alone and zero people should be jusging you.
Guess you can tell your daughter now that she was an independent spirit from the start.
Oh, Sarah. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Your brain, heart and body have been through a lot lately. I’ve been struggling with a lot as well, and having a chaotic environment has absolutely added to it. I’ve learned to chip away at it as you can, but allow yourself to go at whatever pace you need to without feeling guilty for not doing more. You can only do what you’re equipped for at any moment, and that’s forever changing. Wishing you all the healing and peace. 💜
I’m so sorry for your loss:( i lost my dad unexpectedly last year and it’s never easy. You’re an amazing mom and thank you for being vulnerable and honest!
We love you Sarah. Give yourself some grace going through so much change.
I am a new mom, as well. Oh my god, the moment you said “feeding my baby” I rolled my eyes, because we are having challenges in that department as well. I am also pumping and giving formula and it is very stressful, but I am determined to give him as much breast milk as possible. I went to a lactation consultant, tried all I could to keep him on the breast only, but sometimes it’s just not possible. At the end of the day, what’s important is that they are fed.
You are so naturally gorgeous Sarah! I am so happy that you are sharing some of your motherhood journey. I really want to be a mom some day, but I also have so many fears deep down about it. I’ve always really identified with you and hearing about motherhood from you makes me so much less afraid. 😊
I love these kinds of videos! I’m sorry for all the difficulties you’re going through and I’m glad to see you finding a way to cope and move past them
We love you Sarah, this community is here for you ❤
Sending you so much love and energy for all you're going through.
With my first kiddo I oversupplied like a mad woman. With my second I was not and I was so worried about him getting enough, it was all in my brain, he was fine, but his pregnancy was really hard and I was not doing well after his birth either. You’re doing great. Being a parent is so hard. It hurts something deep inside me when they don’t want food I make, which is obviously a lot different from breastfeeding, but I get it. My oldest is almost 7 (we share a birthday!) and my youngest will be 5 in July and I really only feel like I’m coming back to myself in the last maybe maybe 2 years. It’s wild. You’re doing great and you should be really proud of yourself. I’m sorry about your loss and I wish you and your family the best.
I'm sorry for your loss, Sarah. I lost my dad to suicide when I was ten and it's affected me in a lot of different ways at various points throughout my life. Prioritize yourself and take the time you need to feel your feelings and process what this new life looks like. As far as hobbies and positive stimulation, I highly recommend knitting! I started in the last year and quickly became my favourite thing to do while listening to a podcast or watching something. Can just focus on the stitches/pattern and not overwhelming and intrusive thoughts.
Sending so much love to you, Sarah. I went through a period where multiple huge life changes were happening and it’s so tough. I really feel for you. You’re doing all the right things and I look forward to being here on this journey with you ❤️
wishing you the best sarah, your videos have helped me (and are helping me) grow up and be less scared of becoming an adult
i’m so sorry for your loss! we have so much in common its crazy. journaling has always been my savior, it really empties out your mind so u can focus on the present. i hope everything comes together for u. u have a support system here online. thank you for being so open to sharing this part of yourself, its helpful and inspiring 🫶🏾
Hi Sarah, I’ve been watching you for so long (like since the cut off shorts tutorial days). I want to thank you for sharing this with us. I lost my dad a year ago and I can relate to the feeling of everything going wrong and not knowing how to cope. I don’t have any grand wisdom to share, but just know that I understand how you’re feeling, and I truly believe that everything is going to be okay ❤
This is a lot to process and deal with! Have grace with yourself as you respond to so many changes. Thanks for sharing what you've been going through. I am sending you all the thoughts and good vibes!
Sarah, I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine. I have tears for your family and I am wishing you all strength during this time.
I can relate a lot to this - I recently moved out for the first time with my partner, not long after losing my brother and it’s been so hard adjusting to all the changes and going through the emotions. Thank for you sharing your struggles and how you’re trying to manage everything, I definitely think I’ll take some of those ideas on board! We’ve got this!
I relate so strongly to this! I had my son in lockdown, moved in with my parents when he was 3 months old then moved again interstate when he was 6 months old to a city where we had some family but knew noone. I was so thankful to my family, my husband and my son at the time but it I wish I had looked after myself a bit more during all of that. I hope you reach your goals and even if you don't, the fact you've even made them is amazing ❤
i lost two family members in the span of seven months and i was sort of numb, i tried to rationalize everything and i kept telling myself that i could get through things, but in reality i was just not facing it as i had a lot of responsibility in my hands, slowly but surely my mind and soul started bringing emotions to surface and i allowed myself to cry and feel everything even if it was uncomfortable, accept things even if i didn't like the outcome or if they were "fair" and that took me about a year and a half.... now i feel like I'm dealing with loss in a lighter and gentler way, i personally cant really say that dealing with grief gives a sense of perfect closure after all, but there's a feeling of healing and relief, i feel like a different person but dsy by day I'm also accepting that, im so proud of you for trying your best and being kind to yourself, keeping yourself busy definitely helps but remind yourself to also decompress and rest!! you can do this!! can i recommend you a book called, Life Lessons by Elisabeth Kubler, it helped me so much around the time ❤
I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine. I’m so happy you’re back making videos and it would be amazing to film some decluttering videos! ❤
In times like the ones you’re facing, survival in itself is a TRIUMPH! One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. I’m sending all the wishes for peace and control your way, along with lots and lots of love, support, and admiration! For documentaries, I highly recommend Yes Theory’s videos with Wim Hof. Totally changed the way I perceive what I’m capable of enduring. I’n holding you and your family in my heart, Sarah. Thank you for sharing this part of your journey with us. ❤
You are doing great and I can’t commend you enough for being so transparent throughout this time. I know it’s easy to think that you should be “adapted” by now to being a mother but it’s such an intricate process because raising a child is different day to day and always changing. It feels a little out of control a lot of the time and, at least for me, part of becoming adjusted is embracing that. I completely understand being too hard on yourself because my son is almost 4 and I still am too hard on myself everyday because, while the challenges are different than they were when he was a newborn, we hit new challenges everyday and I’m constantly worried I’m not making the right choices or doing enough. I think it’s amazing how open you’re being and I’m here for it!
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you're doing better, please take your time to heal. sending love♥
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how hard that is 😞.
Im so sorry for your loss and I hope everything starts feeling better soon! My favorite podcast is Binchtopia, It’s very funny and informational on all sorts of fun topics!
So sorry for your loss. Sending you love. ❤️❤️❤️
I appreciate your candor and sharing your emotions. I respect and admire how you’re handling things. I do sympathize, we lost dad in September and I honestly don’t know how I’m gonna get through this weekend but I’m sending you and your family good vibes.
My kid never latched properly so I've almost exclusively pumped from day 1. I have a freezer full but now it turns out he has the cow milk protein allergy so he can't use the freezer milk 🙃
I'm so sorry that you have so much going on right now. Sending you lots of love ❤️
Oh Sarah, I’m so sorry for your loss. You’ve had such an impactful year in all the ways one can. You’re doing great! Sending you love, hugs, and strength from one Mom/human to another. 💜
Sending you good good vibes and positive energy Sarah. Making the steps is all that counts it won’t matter how long it takes because you’ll get there eventually and before you even realize it!
Thank you for sharing your struggle with us, sending you warm thoughts💛
My condolences hun ❤ And as you've been going through these challenges, I want you to know you've been a wonderful mother to Fern this entire time. She's lucky to have such a thoughtful, caring, and badass mom
Have so much grace for yourself! You’re dealing with a LOT as you said. I think moving, having a baby, and a family death are the top 3 most stressful things you can do, and doing them all at once is a lot. Sometimes not coping is coping. And recognizing that you are ready to move out of that stage is part of the process. You are doing the best you can and that is more than enough! Looking forward to this series and seeing your healing journey. You got this ❤
I’m sorry for your loss. I appreciate you sharing this vulnerable part of your life. I want to commend you for being an awesome mom and showing up for her everyday. I lost my dad in 2019 and my mom last year, and 6 months ago I moved for the first time, and it’s been a struggle. I thought I was coping with it then, but I’ve realized I haven’t and it’s just hitting me hard and have developed anxiety and panic attacks. It’s been a struggle… so just want to commend you again for being a mom everyday. ❤❤
From on anxious person to another who found you and bonded with you because I felt we were so similar, I'm so proud of you. You've done so much and you're handling life so well, even when you don't feel like you are. You're a badass person, mom and kid. You should be so proud of yourself. You're showing up for yourself and your baby. And that's all you need to do.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you and your family so much love.
sarah, i’m so sorry to hear about your dad. i hope you know how much you’re loved and seen for the incredible person and mother you are! give grace to yourself and keep going 🫶
So sorry sarah!Sending aa huge hug!
i hope ur successful w ur list! i recently lost my grandma after being her caregiver for the past 3 years ): it was so sudden but i am trying to continue to work and stay focused ❤ sending u love
Podcast Recommendation : A slob comes clean. About decluttering and organising by someone who isn't naturally decluttered and organised.
UA-cam channel : More Hannah. A UA-camr who has a baby. You might find it interesting.
I'm so sorry for your loss
Sarah, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your grief really resonates with me. I lost my parents well before their time and navigating motherhood without them has been extremely hard. Thinking of you.
OMG Sarah!!!!!! I started following you YEARS ago when you posted your video dying your hair lilac and nos you are a mom! so gala to sea how much you've grown. XO
I also lost my dad recently and Wonderful! podcast has really helped me by being a fun positive little listen here and there! Sending lots of good vibes! ❤
I’ve lost my dad as well, I’m sorry for what you’re having to go through. 💛
Sending you and your family so much love right now❤
I havent watched your channel in a while, but i saw this vid in my subscriptions n clicked. The biggest smile came to my face when you said you're a mom!! I would watch your old videos ablut mental health because they made me feel less alone, abd that someone else was overcoming the struggle too. And I'm so happy to see you continuing to live a full life despite every trials n tribulation so .. congratulations!!!! And thank you for sharing your life on this channel.
So sorry for your loss, 🙏🙏.Btw, you are such a good mom
i lost my dad a little over three and a half years ago. it’s still something that i’m processing and it still impacts my life, but as time passes you get used to carrying the weight of it. for me, it doesn’t really get easier or lighter to carry but the more i go about my day to day the more i get used to the weight of it. i lost my dad one month before my eighteenth birthday and i moved out and started college within a few months, not to mention the covid pandemic hit the united states three months after my dad’s passing. i can definitely understand the sheer amount of stressors hitting all at once. every day just has to be taken one day at a time, and there will be things that used to be easy that will become challenging or impossible and you’ll just have to learn to give yourself grace. it took me like two years to be ready to begin processing the loss in therapy, there’s no timeline of how you’re “supposed” to heal. wishing the best for you + your family. ❤
Sarah, I am so sorry for your loss. It’s totally okay you couldn’t film during the time, and even without those kind of circumstances, it’s also okay to not film. Your health and your family come first.
Watching this vlog was helpful to me as a creator. I’ve been out of video ideas and not doing well with any aspect of my health, so I just haven’t filmed. But this video showed me that I can just sit down and talk and that’s enough, if that’s what I want to do, so thank you. ❤️
Oh also *edit* if you’re still into psychology I recommend the book No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz. It’s a book about Internal Family Systems therapy and I bet that modality could be helpful to you while you’re figuring things out with your mental health. I find it really interesting, personally!
I have been loving the Radiolab podcast! Also, as a new mom myself, the public library has been a game changer. I take my son in the stroller and we just wander around the library for like 15 minutes and it really makes me feel accomplished and like I did something fun outside of the house lol
Hey Sarah,
long(ish)-term watcher here and I do agree you had so much on your plate there... truly one of the hardest things in life to lose a parent, and just when there was already so much going on. Sending you much strength and hopefully periods of happiness in these challenging times!! I've gone through a mentally rough patch this winter and your videos have continually been a source of calmness, entertainment (especially your thrift hauls and food videos) and just a thing I could come back to! Greetings from Vienna, Austria xx
I highly recommend the It’s Always Sunny podcast! Very funny and sure to be uplifting
I lost my dad unexpectedly a year ago, sending you and your loved ones lots of love and strength ❤️
sarah, im so sorry you're going through all of this right now. thank you for sharing these parts of your life with us, and just being so vulnerable. you've always been someone i gravitate towards when i need to watch comforting videos, and that's something that hasn't changed in the many years i've watched you on youtube. there's no right way to heal/cope with these types of situations, so just please be patient with yourself, and know that you don't owe anybody anything. as just a stranger on the internet, i wanna just say i'm so heckin proud of you and fern is a lucky little bean sprout to have you as a mama. i'm sending so so much love your way💘 thank you for existing, and thank you for inspiring me constantly.
I am so sorry, sending love ❤ and keeping you and your family in my thoughts. Losing a parent while being a new mom must be so emotional and difficult.
I’m agnostic but randomly I came across NDE (near death experience) videos where people experience living on, seeing light, feeling immense love and experiencing “heaven”. I found that when my mom had to go to the ER for high blood pressure (arthritis meds messing it up) and I was super anxious. These videos were actually really calming for me and eased my anxiety.
one of my biggest fears is my mom dying before I have a child and her never meeting them. I only have my mom, one parent, too. But I’m also feeling conflicted on if I want to become a parent because of the responsibility and life change. It feels like I need to do so much before I can be a parent (financially, mental health, and I need to learn to drive). It’s hard. I hate feeling conflicted and stagnant and this decision is one of them that feels so time sensitive.
Postpartum is hard enough on it’s own, I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. Moving through grief as a mom is so difficult, I can relate. I wish you all the best Sarah ❤️🩹
i've always been really into the fantasy genre and i have been rereading the percy jackson series! i read them in middle/high school and it's been really cathartic to do that again. if you have any book series you loved as a kid i highly recommend doing that
I’m sorry for your loss
hi Sarah, im sorry for your loss. ive been watching your videos since i was maybe 16 and now im 29. hope everyting works out for u
I stopped alcohol for a month and loved the positive effects so much that I continued being alcohol free. I feel much less anxious and depressed. I no more hangover, which were impossible to deal with with 2 young kids. That’s my 2 cents ❤
I switched to alcohol free beers where ever I craved a drink it’s been working amazingly for me!
I lost my dad when I was 16 and the 9th anniversary was this year in April. 9 years and I still don’t think I’ve processed it. I’m finally in a place where I was able to take a day off work on the anniversary and I’m happy I did because I cried all day. And then me and my brother went to the movies to see Evil Dead. Going to the movies was something we always always did with my dad. And not having a parent, especially when your baby is so young is HARD. It really kills me that my daughter (18 months) will never know him. And he will never know me as a mom. I will say, in the future, when anniversaries come up don’t feel like you have to make these big grand gestures and like anything needs to be perfect. Do something as simple as go to the movies. Something that y’all did together, or brings warm memories. Do not stress yourself about it. It should be easy on you and bring you a level of solace. When I want to have cry fest and dwell on the sadness my go to movie is Fathers & Daughters with Russell Crowe and Amanda Seyfried. It’s a phenomenal movie but it’s also gut wrenching and will messss you up emotionally. But that’s okay. It’s okay not be okay with it all the time. Not sure why I feel like I can give advice on this when I don’t think I’ve ever fully processed his passing. But idk, as someone who lost my dad at such a trivial time like you, I feel so much empathy. Plus, I’ve watched your channel for years and I just love you and would never wish this on you (on anyone really but you know what I mean). I wish you nothing but the best and I hope your heart heals as evenly as possible 💜
💜💜💜
Becoming a mother has been a huge...life and identity shift to experience and come to terms with (which I expected, but still), bubba is 10 months old and I feel like I'm still mostly just 'surviving' and working things out. The chronic sleep deprivation and juggling work and my marriage while being a new mum has been/is tough. I couldn't imagine trying to do that while losing a parent myself 😥
I am sorry for the loss of your dad. Mine passed away a year ago. It is a huge loss and a long process to finalize everything for someone’s estate on top of being a new mom and in a new place. Be gentle, be patient, release your emotions when they come. As time passes you’ll feel like you’re ok and then a wave will hit, let it go through you. It will always hurt but you will learn to adapt your life around the grief. Sending hugs and strength to process this
Podcast: Happier with Gretche Ruben
For a book recommendation- Empathy and Eyebrows
Sarah I'm so so sorry about your Dad. Much strength to you 💔
sending you lots of love!!
I am so so sorry you lost your father.. this is heartbreaking. You are sooo strong for keep going, you are doing your best with your baby, relationship, your living place and of course your own health!! You are such a strong queen, don't ever forget that ❤
I watch your videos for so many years now, back then you had bleach blond her and you where still studying. You become a long way.!
You will be in my prayers ❤ you are doing the best you can do. Take it day by day, i lost my oldest daughter 2 years ago and i still have to take it day by day. Your doing great ❤
Sarah you are so strong!
My condolences to you on the loss of your father, I know it can't be easy. Let your child be your inspiration to keep going, we are all rooting for you!
I’ve been watching you since 4 none blondes ❤ thank you for still posting . Sending lots love
you got this 👍🏻sounds like you are getting through it! i can’t imagine how hard that would be. when i was born, there was a wildfire that almost burned down our house 2 months later, and 3 months after that, my dad passed away unexpectedly. it left my mom alone in a house with no electric heat in the dead of winter with a 5 month old baby and her family 1,000 miles away. i can’t even begin to imagine how low that could make a person feel. but she persevered for my sake, and found strength she never knew she had. so, i feel that you have that in you too. i believe in you, you can do it, but i can’t imagine how hard it must be. ❤️
I'm so so sorry for your loss, Sarah. I've followed your channel for years and have always looked up to you. I lost my brother two years ago and watching your content was one of the only things that made me feel better and forget about the pain and grief I was suffering through. Be gentle with yourself, take all the time you need to grieve, your followers will still be here when life calms down for you. Also this is a bit unconventional, but something that really really helped me with my grief was doing a sensory deprivation tank. Especially as a new mom I think it would be a great way to relax and sit with your thoughts. Love you and your content, wish you the best during this difficult time.
You're my favorite youtuber, seeing you like this makes me so sad :(
But everything will be ok, it always does. Sending you a virtual hug, you got this❤
Sorry for your loss! It has been a year since I lost my grandmother. We even shared the same birthday. Her death affected me the most because I was a lot closer to her and her passing away left a toll on my mental health. I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life and I wasn't sure if I wanted go back to school and finish my music degree. It has been a hell of a year for us too. I'm doing better now as I've been practicing some similar goals you've mentioned and I have recently made the decision to go back to school and finish my degree. Journaling has helped and finding some positive stimulation (books, podcasts, movies) help a lot and are my favorite coping mechanisms
So sorry for your loss 👼🏻🙏🏻🌹
Hanging there Sarah.. Life will get easier take it a day at a time. Thanks for sharing :)
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your father passing away. :( You're going through so many changes all at once and I will keep you in my thoughts. I can definitely relate to your emotions on your breastfeed situation as well. My journey ended so quickly because I could not produce any milk to fully feed my baby so had to supplement 2 days PP. I tried so hard for at least 3 weeks and had to give it up all together. It was so hard and I felt awful about it, but a fed baby is always best! Stay strong Dear!
I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time - you really are doing incredibly to keep going in terms of showing up for your daughter every day and keeping you both fed and comfortable; that really is enough and you’re doing amazingly to set yourself goals and work through them. My daughter wouldn’t breast feed despite me trying until we were both hysterical for days and we eventually went on to formula - I was crushed but she did really well on it and was always keen for her food once it was bottled. When she was small and we started getting out together I found meeting friends in coffee shops was the easiest way to stay social - also having people over for coffee or dinner, or going for lunch or walks together with baby. We also moved into our house when my daughter was four months old after living with our in laws with most of our things in storage for six months - I found when I came to unpack a lot of them that I really hadn’t missed them and it made me want to declutter if only to have less things to organise, clean and tidy! Babies and small children take up so much room with all of their various accessories; anything that makes it easier is a huge plus in my book. Looking forward to seeing the next steps on your journey with you - I’m sure better times are coming very soon xxx Also a Podcast recommendation is Ghouls Night In - this is focussed on a lot of spooky/Halloween community friendly content but is very varied, well thought out, informative and fun; it’s fast become my favourite and gives me the cosy autumn happy feelings!
I was wondering where you have been, I haven't seen you post much. I'm incredibly sorry for your loss. Take as much time as you need off
I lost my dad and my childhood dog within 6 months of each other. This was over a year ago and I still haven’t processed either of them. It is so difficult to go through and I think that people don’t understand that the grieving process isn’t linear. It can take a couple months or it can take several years until life feels better again. I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope things get better for you💖
sending love and hugs ❤
My dad passed away 6mths ago... straight after I moved too and had alot going on. I was not close to my dad and in some ways it made things extremely difficult to manage and it was Christmas time so I felt I had to try not be miserable around people to not bring peoples moods down. I'm still processing things...
You're doing well , never forget to try and take some time out for your mental health.