Accepting "reality" is something I am extremely cautious about bc I don't want to upset God! I want to KNOW FOR SURE... I have not allowed myself to watch videos or listen to ppl bc I'm scared. I also feel like I allowed it, so that is what I get.
Wait, wouldn't God want you to live in reality? The verse that woke me up says to "speak the truth in love." It suddenly meant that I had to start telling my husband how I really felt about what he was doing and stop colluding with him in his fantasy that I was ok with his abusing me.
I am so afraid of being screamed at over a prolonged period that I freeze into a fetal state and wait to be killed. I can't hear or make sense of the words because the volume is excruciating. I am afraid that if I try to escape, I will be blocked, caught, and beaten. I have been in this situation many times throughout my life. I never know when it's coming; it is sudden , dramatic, and overwhelming. Since I am the only common denominator, I wonder if being Autistic is a catalyst. I would like to learn tools for stopping it. At this point, all I know is to not respond, make myself very small, and wait for it to be over. I am 68 years old, and it feels so humiliating to be treated this way as an elderly disabled woman.
Thanks! Arrived at event. Got from this a key question: “What am I not taking responsibility for?” 🎉❤🎉❤ uhm… gee whiz. Dho! Convicting and empowering question. Gives us a starting point.
Accepting "reality" is something I am extremely cautious about bc I don't want to upset God! I want to KNOW FOR SURE... I have not allowed myself to watch videos or listen to ppl bc I'm scared. I also feel like I allowed it, so that is what I get.
Wait, wouldn't God want you to live in reality? The verse that woke me up says to "speak the truth in love." It suddenly meant that I had to start telling my husband how I really felt about what he was doing and stop colluding with him in his fantasy that I was ok with his abusing me.
There is no remorse for his actions
I am so afraid of being screamed at over a prolonged period that I freeze into a fetal state and wait to be killed. I can't hear or make sense of the words because the volume is excruciating. I am afraid that if I try to escape, I will be blocked, caught, and beaten. I have been in this situation many times throughout my life. I never know when it's coming; it is sudden , dramatic, and overwhelming. Since I am the only common denominator, I wonder if being Autistic is a catalyst. I would like to learn tools for stopping it. At this point, all I know is to not respond, make myself very small, and wait for it to be over. I am 68 years old, and it feels so humiliating to be treated this way as an elderly disabled woman.
When you ask what have I tried, or done, what haven’t I tried or done! 😢
Good afternoon Diana. Thank you for recording this program because I had lunch duties during the Live broadcast today.
Thanks! Arrived at event. Got from this a key question:
“What am I not taking responsibility for?” 🎉❤🎉❤ uhm… gee whiz. Dho! Convicting and empowering question. Gives us a starting point.