Ralph Harms Chooses a Death with Dignity
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- Опубліковано 13 сер 2021
- When an 85-year-old terminal cancer patient from Santa Rosa chose to end his life, he wanted his story told in the hope it would help others. He turned to the Press Democrat.
The Press Democrat spent three weeks reporting and photographing the compelling Ralph Harms death-with-dignity story. To support journalists and photographers like Kerry Benefield and John Burgess, please subscribe to the Press Democrat at subscribe.pressdemocrat.com. Read the exclusive story here: www.pressdemocrat.com/article...
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He lost 2 daughters and then buried his wife? This man was ready to face death on his terms. I can 100% respect that.
God bless him.❤
Really he lost his kids and wife first?
@@Rogue_Wave5150did you even watch the video ?
Completely honest? I wouldn’t have made it near as far as him after those losses. I’ve been married to my wonderful wife for 28 years and we have a 26 year old child. I’m 50, my wife is 53. If she were to pass away before me, I doubt I’ll last a month before following her. She’s everything to me, and my kid understands this. I don’t really want to be here without her.
I did. what's your point?@@Herpetile
As a nurse, I see what happens at the end. I see bedsores, pain, wasting away to nothing, puking from medication..etc. I also see people suffer at the end, and the families knowing that they are suffering and not letting us give them pain meds, forcing food down their throats, forcing them to take a multitude of vitamins (even when they can barely swallow). We should be allowed to make our own decisions on how we want to die, with dignity.
I spent 30 years as a Nurse and saw the suffering that those with terminal conditions went through. I want the option to decide to call it quits , if I develope a terminal condition.
We allow our pets a death with dignity, but people object, when a human being asks for that same compassion.
Dr’s add the pain and shorten the life. The nurse makes you comfortable which means lethal dose.
So sad it’s so true
Ever hear of a living will? ;-)
I saw that too as 12 y.o. kid, when my grandma was passing away in our family house. My family was not able to let her go, she was after multiple strokes, without much contact to the reality, screaming at nights from bedsores. After my grandma was not able to breath on her own some night, my mother even brought some respiratory device, and she was ventilated 2 additional days in pain. Thankfully, our family doctor came and explained, that it does not make any sense, and she is causing more harm than good for my grandma.
The saddest part of this was hearing he lost his two daughters and wife years before his death. Intense pain
I can't imagine the pain he went through.
@@james87367me either that’s a pain you can’t put in words
Eles morreram de que?
Can't even begin to imagine what this poor man has suffered in his life, rest good friend.
Hats off to the journalists that had the courage to go on this journey with Ralph.
Beautiful blessed story for a journalist ❤️🔥
Reading his obituary he spent 12 years in the army as a green beret. What an absolute beast this man was.
only military people can get away with things. You people are so blind. This thing he did is sin against GOD, who he answered for doing it. military JESUS GOD ALMIGHTY! Since when in GOD'S eyes is being in the military excuse one from sin?
@@bethlehemeisenhour5807 Whatever. Go away.
@@bethlehemeisenhour5807 so you also believe the earth is flat..
@@bethlehemeisenhour5807 in 1 book he's all forgiving and in other versions he will smite you and strike you down.hmmmm
@@bethlehemeisenhour5807 seek help.mGod Bless
We actually treat our pets deaths much more humanely than our people.
Yes, we seem to think quantity of life is more important than quality of life.
I don’t know what that has to do with any of this.
Yes," dying like a dog" can be an easy way to die.
@@aaronmehki8015 when dogs are suffering from a terminal illness it’s okay to euthanize them so they do not suffer - but we do not give people the same choice
That's because they're not keeping the medical gravy train going.
This guy got it right. If my dog gets terminally sick, I do not let it suffer in agony, I have it euthanized. Why would I treat myself with less compassion?
It's the religious aspect that makes this so controversial. It's considered suicide by many. However, nowhere in the Bible, not one single time, does it say anything about you being punished in any way for suicide. It doesn't say you will go to damnation, it doesn't say God will be mad, it doesn't even say that you shouldn't do it. Nothing. The Bible says NOTHING about any consequences for suicide.
Thou shalt not kill. Also No murderer hath eternal life. That includes self murder.@@desertweasel6965
Exactly ❤
WARNING: UA-cam is deliberately linking/recommending pro-s*icide videos with videos on managing disabilities. Here are some groups fighting for your right to life and to a natural death:
American Association of People with Disabilities (AAPD)
American Disabled for Attendant Programs Today (ADAPT)
Association of Programs for Rural Independent Living (APRIL)
Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (ASAN)
Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network (AWN)
Disability Rights Center
Disability Rights Education & Defense Fund (DREDF)
Disability Section, American Public Health Association
National Council on Disability (NCD)
National Council on Independent Living (NCIL)
National Organization of Nurses with Disabilities
National Spinal Cord Injury Association
Not Dead Yet (NDY)
TASH
The Arc of the United States
United Spinal Association
World Institute on Disability (WID)
TELL YT TO STOP TELLING PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES TO K*LL THEMSELVES.
@@desertweasel6965 Fuck the bible
My Dad had multiple myeloma which is a cancer of the bone marrow. When it started to affect his kidneys he told the doctor, “I’m all done Doc, no more meds, just make me comfortable” he was gone two days later. One of the bravest men I had the honor of calling Dad. RIP to this gentleman as well.
I'm So sorry for your massive loss! I lost my Beautiful Mother in 09 she was only 42 and I feel for you brother or sister! God bless you.
I lost my Dad to MM 3 years ago. After 2 years they gave him 1 to 3 months. I was already engaged at the time, but I decided to speed the wedding up and we planned it in 8 days so he could give me away! This was my gift to him. My mom had to push him in a wheel chair up the aisle. It was a wonderful wedding. So sorry about your Dad. Hugs.
@@laland5752 That's such a sad, but Beautiful story! I am so glad your Wonderful Father was able to be there and give you away to your Husband. God bless you! I hope you are doing ok. Thank you for sharing such a private moment with us all, take care.
@@daviddaddy ❤️❤️❤️
@@daviddaddyI never answered your other question. I am doing okay. I lost a few other people since then and it’s been very hard. I keep going with family and good therapy. ❤
Ralph did not look 85 to me and his way of speaking was so calm and could put you at ease. He seemed like a real nice guy. He did it his way.
I missed that part where they mentioned his age. I thought he was in his late 60s. He looked good for 85. But looked like had the energy of someone much younger.
@@faa1412 its in the description
Wow he looked great for 85 lovely man.x
@@elliegoldie6140 indeed
He not only looked younger, he sounded and acted more youthful! If I didn't know he had cancer I wouldn't believe it! He seemed so energetic! You can tell he was a great guy, who pushed him self beyond the limits! Even if he did not feel well, he still kept pushing forward. What an Absolute Legend! My Respect to him and his Family. God bless them.
If it wasn't for his cancer, he looked like he could've lived well Into his 90s. He looked really good. RIP.
Easy, maybe a 100.
l
Ya, that's what I found odd he still seemed so full of life. why do that when your still enjoying life?
@@michaelsmith2733 didnt you hear him? he was suffering with tremendous pain. He was a warrior, he battled through it tough as nails - i don't think he wanted his friends to see him suffering. He was a really cool guy.
Rest easy, Ralph xo
Guess ,you never know how long he could have lived, Dr's aren't God .
He went out on his own terms. Lived a full life. Legend.
with dignity
till the end.@@gustiable
He took his own life, that's suicide. From the video he didn't look like a person about to die. Did he think death is it? No hereafter? No God? People there is a judgment.
I hope he's with his daughters and wife🎉 he was a great man because I'm getting old now and it's a scary thing knowing you will not exist anymore but I still have hope that there's more to life then we see❤ love to all
Even if you're young you can get cancer even if you think you're healthy just be kind while you're here and do what you feel you should do when you have to leave, happy and sometimes death isn't the worst thing
My dad chose Compassionate Euthanasia/Death by Dignity. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I was with him and it was very peaceful. He just didn’t have the strength or energy at the end. He was ready, he wasn’t afraid of death at all. He wanted to be with my mom and brother who had both passed away some years ago. I still think about every single day and miss him terribly ❤
Oh damn. I’m really sorry that you had to go through all that loss.
God bless you
I find it disturbing that we allow our sick or ailing pets the dignity of painless euthanasia. Yet we force our elders to endure sometimes unspeakable pain until the last possible moment. As I grow older (approaching 70) these thought occupy bigger and bigger parts of my mind.
Yes, which is why I am hoping and praying that the death with dignity act eventually spreads to being nationwide. As it is a wonderful option to have for terminal people who are suffering greatly.
Totally agree!!!
I'm 65 and have survived two cancers plus other life-threatening afflictions. I prayed to God today for the right choice when the time comes. RIP Ralph. See you soon.
@@michaellake5269 i am also a cancer patient. God bless you!
Greg Fawcett, I certainly understand your views and respect them. I have peacefully and lovingly let my dearly loved fur-babies cross over in my arms and for those of sound mind should be allowed to decided. My concerns are for those that for whatever reason, cannot choose for themselves. Not everyone has the selfless loving of others at heart. Maybe seeing one more sunrise, a child's smile, listening to one more day of nature's concert or another sunset is worth the pain of living.
The thought of less than loving scenarios taking a life is frightening and tragic. Such a complex situation. We can choose to take our lives in less controlled and in more unsightly ways. This would seem to be a better option. Great caution and thought is required.
My father was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic prostate cancer 3 months ago. We were initially told 3-5 years, one doc said 5-10 maybe. Well here we are, 3 months later and he’s about to enter hospice. I went over the end of life program with him, and he thought about it. I think the fact that his sister committed suicide 14 years ago and how it effected the family….even though this is COMPLETELY different, I think he struggles with it all. But just knowing that he had the option is such a comforting feeling. So, he has decided to ride this out to the end. Over 80% of his bone marrow is cancerous, it’s in his liver and lungs now, and like this gentleman the cancer is in just too many spots. Watching him go through this with such grace and dignity, I couldn’t imagine a braver man to be able to call my father. I love him so much, he’s been such a great dad. Always been here in times of need, busted his ass working while I was growing up to give me a wonderful childhood. The world will be a little less bright of a place without him in it. Thank you to whoever reads this, saying these things out loud even to strangers helps me a lot. Please, if you have parents in your life you love, please spend as much time with them as possible. If you are maybe fighting with them, and haven’t spoke to them in years, please reach out and squash that beef. Life is too short. I love you dad
Reading this on 31st December,'22....What words for...this? Only tears here.
Reading this January 3rd 2023, Australia.
I lost my dad to stage 4 lung cancer june 2021 and I'm still shook. I'm gutted that was my last bit of family I had left to call my own.
Stay by his side 🙏
man I really needed to hear this.thank you god bless
So sorry for your dad he sounds like a great man..I would like to thank you for your comments as I haven’t spoke to my mum or dad for 10 years and I miss them a lot but it’s so complicated I can’t even begin to explain why but watching this is especially hard for me as it reminds me how precious life is..I will say a prayer for your dad today..So sad ❤
No
I'm all for this. We should have the right to end our life if we are terminal. Every state should allow this. RIP Ralph. Thank you for your service to our country. May you rest peacefully . Your wife and daughters will greet you.
Lived on his own terms, died on his own terms, but peacefully and humanely. Rest in peace, Ralph.
My brother did this at 56. He had been battling cancer since he was 37. I was with him and it was hard but it was the right decision for him. He was such a strong man but the pain was just too much to endure. I love you and I miss you Chris
Damn...I'm 57. I can't even imagine. Shaking my head.
@@TheFrenchPug 😢50’s is still so young 🥹
@@LaLagunz187 Besides my 8 back surgeries and 3 fusions, I mentally don't feel like I'm in my 50s. You're right.
Can someone help me I’m trying to find out info how to do this I’m getting no where I will go to Oregon cause you don’t have to live there please can someone help me
I agree with death with dignity. The only part that kinda freaks me out and I know I would struggle with is the picking a day and saying goodbye. It's so final. How do you even do it?
As a hospice nurse and absolute believer in end of life choices that include a death with dignity I support this braves man's choice. Bless him.
Hospice needs to include people who are in bad pain and fatigue who don't tolerate pain meds yet life is such an unbearable struggle but aren't considered to have a terminal illness.
I watched my grandfather die of colon cancer, it was agonizing for him. It was a long, hard, slow terrible way to die. I support dying with dignity, way better then what he was forced to endure.
I bet you do. As a hospice nurse you don’t give lethal doses of medicine to the patients. You’re not allowed to. Instead a family member has to do it. I had to do it with my mother and now have to live with the fact that it was I who took her life. Never again will I do this.
It’s Gods choice
@@aaronmehki8015 We fix all sorts of problems and there is no reason why we shouldn't take action on suffering. There is no reason to force intolerable suffering on people.
I also worked in Hospice. What used to amaze me is is families who fought the use of morphine. Fearing that their dying loved ones would become addicted to it.
Everyone deserves to have this choice....No one should have to suffer and waste away in palliative care.
RIP Ralph
I know he has already passed, but I’m in a divorce, and am in failing health, of the perfect storm, and my suffering everyday. I’ve exhausted my medical options only to know I will suffer more everyday. I believe I am making the right decision Appreciate every second and don’t waste a day. RIP
If he never got cancer, he would probably have made it to 100. He was in incredible shape for his age. RIP
affliction2002.
You could say that about any malady.
@@redblade8160 Sad but true
Doctors are very often wrong about how much time we have left. There are always new treatments. Whether I agree with him or not he had the right legally to end his life. So that is his right.
From watching my father die of brain cancer, I can tell you Ralph made the right choice. Cancer sucks.
BUT it was NOT YAHUWEH'S choice 😕
@@jackiebourg6869 Really? I didn't know. I mean Yahuweh told you??
I lost my my to brain cancer and my Dad to kidney cancer. It's devastating to watch.
I had skin cancer myself it wasn't a melanoma which is the most dangerous type of skin cancer but it was surgically removed from my chest and sent off to a pathology lab for histology testing (tissue testing) the tests showed it wasn't a melanoma but it was indeed a skin cancer a carcinoma. I was incredibly lucky the skin cancer was surgically removed before it spread, I therefore consider myself to be incredibly lucky. Huge respect to this courageous and brave gentleman who shared his end of life story and wasn't as lucky as me I hope he is enjoying his place in heaven
It really does I watched it eat my brother alive and that was just heartbreaking to see as it was probably for you to as well
The amazing thing was that for an 85-year-old man with terminal cancer he looked much younger and in great shape. What a shame the cancer hit him so hard. RIP, Ralph, I hope you're in a much happier place now.
Also it's a tremendous shame that no Medical Provider chose to help him manage that horrible pain !
... they do in fact have the ability to do so, but all too often these days they choose not to,
... while leaving patients in agonizing pain.
What a beautiful man. RIP.
I also thank Brittany Maynard, a woman that battled terminal brain cancer several years ago and fought so hard for California to have Death with Dignity. She was a California resident that moved to Oregon to obtain Death with Dignity rights in her final months. She fought, her family fought, for people like Ralph. I'm absolutely amazed at Ralph's strength, what an amazing guy. I'm so glad he could go out on his terms. These laws should be in every state.
Yessss Sweet Brittany Maynard. Ill never forget her story. She was most definitely a strong voice in getting this to California
Problem is anytime we want such laws passedand want the choice.. The government eventually steps in and starts making the choices for us. Best not to even go there.
@@jillbert40 Wrong answer, keep pushing! Why should we have to spend months and months suffering, withering away? My plan: When I can no longer wipe my own ass....it's go time! It's legal in Canada thank goodness...
It should be something that ALL of us have the right to do, religious politicians think that they know what’s best for us all, they DO NOT! Keep your religion to your damn self!
I knew Ralph when he was in his prime. I was a Rancho Coate runner and he was an Assistant Track Coach at Santa Rosa High. Ralph had a presence, that just commanded respect. I knew he was in the Army, but never knew he was in Special Forces. The Ralph I knew was always upbeat, positive, kind and friendly. It does not surprise me one bit that he chose to be in charge of writing his own ending.
And a friend who shares respect. That is what its abt -and kindness. I stumbled upon this and admire the bravery, independence and willingness to share. Rest in Peace Ralph. Triple rainbow for you and yours
Thanks for the back story.
My mum had a cancer in her womb which was removed but it came back in her stomach.she lost so much weight and literally starved to death. Mum was around 5 stone when her organs eventually shut down and she died. No dignity in her final weeks as she started to wet herself and was unable to stand, walk or even talk. It was horrible for her. I hope one day death with dignity becomes the norm. and people who are dying can choose when. God Bless Ralph’s family and congratulations to them all for having such a strong brave man in their lives. He deserves our utmost respect x
I have cancer and the thought of dying with dignity if I get to that point has crossed my mind. Now I know what I want. We have voluntary assisted dying laws where I live(Melbourne, Australia 🇦🇺). I am very sorry your mum went through that. Sorry for your loss. ❤ Cancer is a murderer.
@@iSheree hi, I’ve only just seen your reply. I want to thank you for your kind words and wish you well. My mum would say that cancer is a disease from the devil. x
@@marlenerichardson4429 aww thank you, I hope you’re at peace and know that your mum is always watching over you and you will see her again. ❤️
@@iSheree God Bless you. I can tell you are a really lovely lady, just from the words you use x Merry Christmas sister x
@@iSheree I am a breast cancer survivor (so far) and 10 years on from surgery. Today is my 39th wedding anniversary x is it ok to ask about your health and how you are?
This guy is a badass. The way he handled everything … god bless his soul.
Ralph was an ex professional boxer with a record of 45-8. He wasnt just a fighter in death but also life
No one should ever suffer unimaginable pain when there is a much more comfortable way to die. This guy is incredibly brave to face his death in this way. Brave, Brave man. A dog is suffering and we put it to sleep, a human is suffering and we allow it to happen ! I wish I could have met you Ralph and had a glass of wine together. Rest in peace.
You are not a dog. You are a man and you should act like it. How could you ever implicate another person in an assisted death? That is different from one man choosing to take the life of an animal. Bravery is trying your best to survive. If you cant handle your life and you take it then its in vein.
@@Fish-cj4ub it is people like you that make the world a sadder place.
@@Fish-cj4ub I didn’t choose to exist and I won’t choose my way out. Dying will be my last living experience. Might as well see what it’s all about. 🤷🏼♀️ That’s just me. I’m not bothered by anyone who feels different about their life and situation though. Live and let live or live and let die… 🤔
Apples and oranges PAUL...🙄
Morphine works best rather than commit suicide now his soul is in pergotory
This makes sense. We allow more dignity for our pets. My sister and I are breast cancer survivors and have lost my 15 year old niece and my mother recently all to cancer. This man experienced more grief than anyone should.
He was the fittest dying person I've ever seen, walking up hill, talking at the same time and not out of breath!
That’s the point. Die while you are still in full control of your faculties.
I was thinking the same thing he’s in better shape than me lol but he was a green beret
Yea so he got a lot of skills ❤❤❤😊
I had a baby that was born with a fatal disease called infantile spasms. At 3 months of age I was told there was nothing more they could do. As I looked around her hospital room and all the tubes her little body was hooked up to, I asked myself, " why should we prolong her life if there's no hope"? She was suffering. I went to the Drs. And asked them if we could expediate her death as I could not see her suffer another moment longer. He agreed......
Sometimes we have to make decisions that is in our own best interest and certainly in the best interest of thoese unable to make that decision for themselves. I commend you sir. Rest in peace🙏
witholding fluids for 3-4 days brings death on rapidly. I do not want myself or my loved ones to die horrible deaths but death really is quite simple to achieve just by not giving fluids....there are multitudes of drugs that can make the last 3-4 quiet and restful
❤️
I’m sorry for you loss. But my son had infantile spasms/west syndrome and he is 5 now and non verbal but he isn’t going to die… it depends on the reasons for the IS, I’m sorry your little girl was one of the unlucky ones 😢
So sorry for ur loss. Losing a child is one of the most painful things a human can experience. I might have some idea of how ur feeling, I lost my baby girl to SIDS back in 1993. May ur baby girl RIP
❤️💔♥️💔♥️
I really like this guy’s personality. And despite the cancer throughout his body, he still looks great and is in damn good shape for man in his mid 80’s! I would have thought he was quite a bit younger.
Looked 65
Yep, I can't blame him for not wanting to subject the remainder of his life to radiation and Chemo. He's doing it how I've always said I'd like to do it.
He was in his 80’s didn’t know thst great shape
He looked as old as his own son when they stood next to eachother.
I thought the same I would have said somewhere from mid sixties to early seventies at most!@@Stephanie-vx4zi
Out of all of the TV and videos I’ve ever watched of bravery, courage and dignity, this man, and former Green Beret topped them all. May you rest in peace Sir. 🙏
Full on frontal face to face with death............Respect for his wisdom and courage.
Hope this man is reunited with his 2 daughters and wife and gets his peace he deserves.
No one is talking about where you will spend ETERNITY🥲
People are hopeless without HOPE. You can have hope and it’s found by accepting Jesus as your Savior. Please if you haven’t accepted Him into your ❤️ and your present and future is SECURE!
The A B C's of salvation:
A-Admit that you are a sinner
Romans 3:10
Romans 3:23
B- Believe that Jesus is Lord , died for your sins and rose from the dead.
Romans 5:8
Romans 6:23
C- Call upon his name.
Romans 10:9
Romans 10:13
Jesus Christ is coming back as promised. Rapture of church first, 7 years of great Tribulation then he returns. Do you know Jesus Christ as your savior? Where will you spend eternity? Please choose wisely.
Unfortunately he's most likely in hell right now.
@@charleneneisler7596 Amen sister!
Wow..... Aren't YOU judgemental. Emphasis on mental.
How do YOU know what Jesus would say? A bunch of books written by intolerant, biased HUMANS? 🤨 Books collated and put through an ecumenical meat grinder?
I myself don't like the idea of offing myself, but for people who prefer to not go through needless suffering it can be a blessing. Humans truly are cruel and selfish creatures. I find it amazing that He loves everyone as much as He does. And I pray for the sanity of everyone else in the World.
Regardless of what you believe that is different from me, God Bless. 🙏
@@prodigalpriest Who said anything about Christianity?
I totally believe in death with dignity. I feel we have the right to choose not to suffer. I'm a retired nurse as well.
Next to the fear of uncontrollable discomfort while dying the feeling of not being in control is terrifying to hospice patients. Ralph was able to control his situation and keep his dignity. May he rest in the arms of Jesus with his loved ones who have gone ahead of him. He deserves his peace. 🕊️
I have so much respect for this man.❤ May he rest not just in peace but in Power.
Ralph is a man’s man a gentleman. He faced his last days like a badass champion. Sending lots of love and respect to his family. I didn’t know Ralph but that’s exactly the way I wanna go no fear and acceptance of death. A real badass to the end.
Agree
Just stumbled on this vid tonight…and I could listen to this brave man all day. I could feel him shining from the inside outward…those truly are the best kind of people.I wish there would be more like this gentleman. I don’t even know him personally and I’m missing him already!!!
I cant wait to die, to be with my family that are in heaven. If I was told I had terminal cancer, I would refuse treatment and do what this man has done. Much better than how my poor daughter died, she had cancer, but didnt know it, she was in Mexico, and none of the Dr's would help her. She died an agonizing death from Stomach cancer. She was in pain for 2 years, but no one knew why, then, in March, she started bleeding out from her stomach, it took her 4 days to die. It broke my heart. No pain meds, nothing.
@@dianasoto7011 I’m so sorry to hear that about your little girl. My daughter had cancer also at 3 years old I know the pain you are in always. I agree with you with wanting to die on your own watch cause that’s exactly what I want. I don’t want to suffer and be some Drs Guinea pig and have them and the hospitals make as much money off our sickness until while suffering to the very end. I want to go before any of the hardcore pain and suffering starts. Again I’m so sorry about your daughter if I could just hug you right now and hold you for a bit I would. Try and stay strong I know it’s hard. 😘
@@dianasoto7011 //// There are few Rx cautions in Mexico. She could have gotten meds herself.
Oh, as an RN, I wish this law was in every state. No reason to have a long, lingering, painful death. My mom died that way and was it was traumatic.
it's called MONEY, from the Day we are born there is a Dollar amount placed on each and every one of us. the longer we are alive the more Someone is making from us.
You can be sure the bible states won't have this.
@@marksmith7054: You're talking as though there's no GOD! Sorry Mark, but guys like you DOES NOT DECIDE when a man's time is over.
@@jackiebourg6869 I never said anything about GOD, I stated that there is a Dollar Value placed on Every baby born because the entire Moment that baby is alive there is someone somewhere making money off of that person. the Government demands that everyone stay alive as long as possible because there is money to be made by someone and taxes will be paid.
@@marksmith7054 no no, not after they retire or are unable to work. Then government loses money.
Ralph had a lot courage to choose Dying with Dignity. My father chose his final day on this earth. He was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer on a Monday and he chose the following Saturday. In Canada it is done thru an IV with 2 doctors and a nurse present. He said good bye to all his children and my mother was holding his hand when he passed.
So sorry god bless him x
We consider this the loving and responsible route for our pets. Why aren't we as kind to our humans? I'm a hospice nurse. We reduce the amount of suffering 100 fold, but we don't ever prevent it from ever happening in the first place. I admire and in many ways envy this man.
You're a very sick person
I feel for him. In 2016 Dr's gave my sister 3 months. She kept fighting cancer it spread to her bones all the way up to her brain. Those 3 months we all spent as much time with her as possible. She is so strong, now 2022 she is still going strong!
Woow. She's really strong.
Kiss her from me.
Having seen four loved ones die from cancer I'm glad you and your family have had more time to spend with your sister..I pray GOD bless you all with many more days ahead with her
That’s awesome man! I’m so happy for your sister. I posted the situation I’m in above, here’s what it said…. suicide 14 years ago and how it effected the family….even though this is COMPLETELY different, I think he struggles with it all. But just knowing that he had the option is such a comforting feeling. So, he has decided to ride this out to the end. Over 80% of his bone marrow is cancerous, it’s in his liver and lungs now, and like this gentleman the cancer is in just too many spots. Watching him go through this with such grace and dignity, I couldn’t imagine a braver man to be able to call my father. I love him so much, he’s been such a great dad. Always been here in times of need, busted his ass working while I was growing up to give me a wonderful childhood. The world will be a little less bright of a place without him in it. Thank you to whoever reads this, saying these things out loud even to strangers helps me a lot. Please, if you have parents in your life you love, please spend as much time with them as possible. If you are maybe fighting with them, and haven’t spoke to them in years, please reach out and squash that beef. Life is too short. I love you dad
She could have been eligible for assisted suicide, yet she thankfully never did such a thing.
Wow! God bless her and your family❤
My mom at 56 was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. Her tumor weighed twenty pounds it pressed on her lungs she struggled to breathe. She suffered so much she wanted to die and begged me to help her. I wish we had this option that Ralph has.
I am so sorry. My mom had stage 3 ovarian cancer, she fought almost five years, it was hard to see her in so much pain the last 6 months I wish she had this option. 💔😢
@@lward65 I am sorry for your loss also. I wish my mom had this option it bothers me to this day how she suffered.
I’m so sorry for your loss
@@bluesakura2092 Thank you for being so kind
@@p.s.5563 You deserve it.
Im a God fearing man. Im touched by his decision. My dad did a type of death w dignity. He was tired of heart meds etc. He quit taking them, ate biscuits and gravy every morning, pie and ice cream...lots of it. He did this a week untill his heart gave out for lack of meds...he was so happy. Oddly he arranged for me to show up 2 hrs after he passed. I didnt know he was that far along,
🙏🙏🙏 to your dear dad and ❤ to you.
God fearing? Your gullibility is astonishing 🤦♂️
God bless your Dad...he is enjoying his afterlife in heaven the way God intended him too, NATURALLY ...he was indeed a BRAVE MAN 🙏...
Thanks both to Ralph and the videographer for doing this. You’ve helped so many people see what dying with dignity looks like.
My mom spent 11 months slowly dying of cancer in pain the whole time. I was young or I would have demanded better pain medication. The idea that doctors don't want to get you addicted when you're dying of stage 4 cancer is ridiculous. Love you lots, mom. Til we meet again someday.
Do doctors withhold pain meds out of fear of our addiction or their fear of being called on the carpet for any appearance of fostering addiction?
@@keithnichols7926 both id say
It's not the doctors. They are afraid of being sued and you can't blame them. The US is the only country that is ruled by torte lawyers and their outrageous lawsuits.
Facts! I'm stage 3 metastatic I have to drop. But taking cannabis help move my tumor markers from 7 to 1 cancer started in thyroid golf ball sized. They told me to choose until they saw for themselves it was a fact. They said remain on both medicines. They called it medicine. 9yrs living with this dis-ease,
@@keithnichols7926 getting in trouble with their license state made the law
I watched this in absolute tears for a person I didn't even know. I am a caregiver and I see death all the time yet it frightens me.
I admire his lack of fear and his decision to live and die on his own terms. He will no longer have pain and now he is with his wife and daughters. I am so glad I watched this. I am so glad he was able to make his own choice.
Thank you for helping people when they truly need someone who cares about them as people rather than a patient. May you have someone to look to your needs and help you live your best life.
If you’re a Believer in the gospel of Jesus Christ there is no fear…because you’ll know where ur going.
I wish this was an option for people with debilitating chronic pain, spinal cord injury, unable to get out of bed, living alone, paralyzed with an awful quality of life. This is my experience, I’ve done as much soldiering through, I also deserve a dignified way to end my life without having to suffer so greatly. Rest In Peace Ralph.
I strongly support you!
There is that option. You would have to travel to Switzerland or the Netherlands. Don’t recall which but sign on to death with dignity there. They even offer assistance for people having healthy bodies but severe psychological depression. They require you to meet with several psychologists and involve family, and if you still wish your decision they will legally assist. Just can’t do it at home
Thank you, I would have to be a citizen of whichever country first though is that true?@@kylehanna522
god bless you! 🤍🤍
After watching this video I have decided that when I am near my end I want to go this way. I watch my Dad die of cancer and I don’t want to die that way, I’d like to end it when I can’t care for myself anymore, I don’t want to be nursed. Thank you for this video.
In 2007 my father was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer that had metastasized to his liver and bones. He fought for 4 years in terrible pain and depression. He passed in 2011 after a slow deterioration. I watched my hero become a skeleton. If I knew this was an option… I would have told him that it was okay. That my little sister and I would be okay. It hurt more to see him hurt for so long.
I watched and helped my 50 year old uncle die horribly from pancreatic cancer. Diagnosed and dead within 6 months. I'm glad we got to spend some great times together towards the end, but the final week was an absolute disaster. He stayed home after chemo failed, and my family and I took turns staying with him day and night. He basically lived alone. He was an absolute beast of a human. Ripped, still playing sports. Within the six months he looked like a skeleton. I think there's pros and cons to a quick death or a drawn out one. I'm 45, and have lost every close man in my life. Plus more. Life is precious, but if we want, we deserve the rite to decide
I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer in 1987 . Diagnosed & passed away in 3months .Sadly he didn't feel able to discuss it with his family .My dad was always a thin man but as in your uncle's case he was skeletal towards the end .in the UK .So sad .He was 60
I'm sorry for your loss.
@@christinehales4222 I'm sorry for your loss.
My daughter’s brother-in-law and our dear friend of only 48 years, died in 6 months of pancreatic cancer . At the end he was just a skeleton and was in horrendous pain . Absolutely heartbreaking 💔 I’m absolutely all for euthanasia …. to die with dignity and not with terror and pain 🙏
NO we don't have the right to choose our death. YAHUWEH has a time for each of us. However it's your choice to choose suicide but then that's the Day your real pain begins, and that, perpetually. Take heed my friend 😢😢😭
Excellent..thank you Ralph ..love this Californian end of life option act it makes perfect sence
BEST video I've seen! FINALLY a normal, intelligent and sensible human being takes charge of his own life and death. And isn't afraid of showing it. It's about time that we start letting people decide these things for themselves. I've been to the brink and back and trust me when I say it's not an easy decision. So, here's to Ralph! ⭐🇺🇲🍾🥂🌹🌈🌈
Correct
here’s to ralph: *emoji spam* not only that but you were finally waiting for a video where we normal person dies ? kind of an odd comment but rest in peace ralph
I’m a nurse and I’ve seen a lot of bad deaths. I 100% believe this is the best way to go. I wish I lived somewhere that allows this.
Retired RN too. I hear ya, me too....
I’m also an RN, 67, still working. I’ve seen far worse things than death. Watched terrible suffering and have a wee bit of ptsd from it. Kudos to Ralph for choosing to keep his dignity and have control.
If you have then they didn’t love well or else they would have suffered well also
Well....in the Netherlands euthanasia is an article in the penal code that will exclude a doctor from murder as long as he is following strict regulations. Even in the Netherlands there will always be discussion about this topic but that's good because it affects us all.
As a Canadian, it is legal here, and - as I have incurable Stage IV cancer - it’s something I will consider if symptoms get worse and treatment no longer works. So happy for this lovely, brave man in leaving as he chose, and so glad I live in a country that allows this choice.
My wife does CAT scan at large teaching hospital. She see patients everyday that are only really staying alive because of machines. All quality of life is gone and are in tremendous pain. The money paid out by insurance companies dictates wether they live or die really. God bless this gentlemen and I hope he’s enjoying heaven.
Suicide= No Heaven.
Sorry. Just don't do it
Do you get to heaven by killing yourself?
That’s a shame . Insurance companies make billions of $$ every year. Enough to keep everyone on life support & pay for anything & everything & still have tons of money to profit from……. It’s really sad that america up charges medical things by 1000% mark ups or more…… also very sad when most of my clients at my job refuse to go to hospital in an ambulance due to the price of it. When they really do want & need the help , but can’t afford $2,000 for a ride …..
Suicide is a one-way ticket to hell in most cases, but even God allows His People to put an end to their lives if the suffering is too great.
@@timefoolery don't be deceived.
I have a lot of respect for this man❤😢
This human being should be emulated for the courage he has. I have stared some pretty serious situations in the face and prevailed. This is one thing I’ll never mentally wrap my head around until I die. It’s terrifying and the dignity and respect he showed, was absolutely heroic. Rest peacefully.
I was holding my emotions until Ralph cried as he said goodbye to his old friend Carl, and then I just broke down,,..R.I.P Ralph.. what a guy!!
Yea that got me in the feels 😪😥
It’s super brave to call it quits when it’s time to call quits. Huge respect. I think I’d choose the same too ❤
friends of my father, both got cancer at the same time in their early 50s. With no option they went for a swim at the beach. These new laws are allowing beautiful souls to pass with dignity and peace. What an absolute legend, with the courage to share his story.
This was beautiful!!! Rest In Paradise Mr. Harms!!
“You don’t have to die like a dam dog.” I agree! I did the same thing for my dog. I have a friend who thought I was evil, but I wouldn’t do anything to my dog I wouldn’t want for myself. He passed away on Halloween 2021. His name was Ghost 👻, so it was fitting. I let him have every last day that he enjoyed, and when he was in pain and didn’t get up for his walk, it was time.
I’m so sorry that you lost ghost. You clearly loved him with all your heart and I bet he had a great life. You did the right thing. I lost my 2 dogs, Buddy 26 march 2020 and Missa on December 1st 2020. I had to make the same decision for them both. Buddy developed heart disease but wasn’t in pain and Missa got leukaemia. They both went peacefully but Missa had a beautiful death. The pure relief on her face made me know it was the right thing to do. I know your heart still hurts. I totally understand.
I see both ends of this. For me, I got my dog Bruce as a rescue from the Amish as an older dog. He was 13 when I got him. A breeding dog who was only $50(a steal, I paid $50 for someone who was priceless) I didn’t know what shape he was in health wise or if he’d be hard to house train etc. but what I did know was I had to get him. He’d never been in a car, slept in a house or played with a toy before I got him. Watching this old Beagle play with his biological daughters(my sister told me about him and got puppies from them) and my cat who thinks she’s a dog was the best reward I could have wanted for bringing him in. When Bruce died, I had him for 3.5 years and I felt very lucky that I had him in my life. I didn’t look at it as a reason to be sad because I was lucky that he was there when I needed him. Some people never have that. We’re all put on the earth for a reason and you never know when someone or something could be taken away from you, that’s one of the things and older dog taught me. While we’re here or while he was here you can make an impact on someone’s life and he made an impact on my life.
His last few days I tried to ride it out and realized that while he was having a hard time breathing and walking I was hoping it would pass, which wasn’t fair to him. I was being selfish and I knew it was time. I got a script for Lasix the day before from the vet to him him get that fluid out and help him breathe better so I could spend a day with him and I wanted him to be able to enjoy it. It was his day. We went and played with his daughters for the last time, saw my parents, went for a big walk, I got him two filets and some yams, we went to my neighbors who had his “girlfriend” for them to say goodbye. She was a pit lab mix and older as well, she died about 3 weeks before Bruce did.
The day of he was pretty weak and had an accident inside and had that look of “I’m sorry.” and I’ll never forget how hard it was for him to slowly walk to me and he probably though I would scold him, but I didn’t. I told him “I’m not mad buddy.” We went to the vet and they took him back to get everything ready while I wait in the car to go back with him(this was in peak 2020 covid in April) my daughter and also took our cat to say goodbye and We go back with him and we were just indescribably sad and we knew that it was the right choice. To go out with dignity and knowing that his favorite people were with him until the very end doubtlessly made him pass away feeling like the most loved dog in the world.
😆😆
@lenoreofstyria3582 thanks for sharing that!
Our dogs have died with dignity
If we can do it for our pets then we should be able to do it for our loved ones.
I would hope ones life would be having their heart right with God first .
@@conniepine8642 I would hope that one could die in peace without others pressuring them with their intolerance about their religion. Some of the most evil is done in the name of goodness.
@@bobs182 Perfectly stated 👌
I let my dog go naturally. My GOSH!! If that's how people die, it is HUMANE!! I'll never let another animal die naturally.
@@flxmkr sorry u had to go through that, it’s hard taking them to the vet to be put down too, you go through the whole range of emotions.
I admire this man. God Bless
He has my complete respect. Brave and taking charge! If ever I become terminally ill, I would like to have that option.
I'm losing my father right now... And these stories are so very helpful. Ralph sounded like a very lovely man. I hope his family and friends still sit and talk about him with so much love. He is so brave
Hey There,
Can you give me an update about your Dad?
This man is a Champion. A life lived well. His hunger to be with his loved ones is admirable. A man’s man. My hat is off to you in your Heavenly home. Well done Sir.
You know you don’t go to Heaven when you commit suicide, or not?
Suicide, doesn't land one in 'HEAVEN'.
@@catzndolz61 well heavens fake so yea. Go believe you're fairy tale somewhere else
@@thomaselam2039 you are so wrong about heaven. There is no rest in peace with this option. You will find out the hot way. 🔥
@@kittydoggy2803 Heaven and Hell are made up places!!! Just like the notion of wizards and dragons are also made up!!!
Stop trying to foist your religious rubbish on others!
RIP Ralph! You were a strong man and made the strong and difficult decisions!
He’s finally reunited with his beloved wife and beautiful daughters 🙏🏼🕊️🙏🏼🕊️🙏🏼🕊️🙏🏼🕊️🙏🏼
“It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.” Much respect for this man. I saw my father slowly wither from Liver Cancer. My mom passed quickly from Pancreatic Cancer. Both fought courageously.
He didn't fight he took the easy way out he was a coward
@@roundboyli7217 Accepting death head on and facing it is cowardly? Ok dude, whatever. I’m sure his corpse is real broken up some dipshit on UA-cam described him with a platitude.
@@roundboyli7217 The karma bus will run you over hard one day. Heartless SOB.
@@roundboyli7217 Tit for brains....how it dying in agony with shit in your bed and needing max pain meds to even function a life? What until it is your turn.
@@roundboyli7217He did fight back. He fought until there was nothing left for him but comfort care. He walked away courageously from resistance with dignity toward the end that was inevitably coming. He made peace with both his life and his death. He has my respect.
He loves his friends and doesn't want to leave them 💔 but has no choice. He is brave and beautiful and touched many
with his love.
Thank you. I wasn't aware of this new law. I'm grateful to know of this.❤
Very dignified. You re pain free now. God bless
i feel this man married the love of his life and watched her die, raised 2 children and lived threw all of that. Ralph lived threw his own physical pain and watching him sit there telling us all about it, you just wanted to hug him. So strong. an upstanding, outstanding human being. i am happy he could have the party with his friends. RIP sweet man
And he watched 2 daughters die of breast cancer.
*Through , not threw.
I can't imagine myself making this decision. I've had 9 brain surgeries. Lived through 7 rupurtured aneurysms a massive stroke and cancer. And MRSA of the brain. Had to remove right side of my skull and after a year they made a fake skull. I have had to fight for my life and I really don't know if I could be as brave as this man.I pray I never have to. Prayers for his family and friends and all who are ill.Rip sir. And thank him and all the other's for their service.
Kay. I salute you. You are the true definition of strength 💪 resilience, hope and courage. Stay well and take care 👍😌👍
You are a fighter on a level that very few can say
thank you for knowing about Jesus.putting you in his hands.RIGHT CHOICE.my dad sister brother past on to cancer.they new the LORDJESUS CHRIST.FOUGHT to the end. all new they were going on to heaven forever.they all taught me more .in showing me never give up.fight to the end.trusting in JESUS.
God bless you Kay.🌹
@ben bucy BS......that's an old lie they like to say to shame people who suicide. It takes much more balls to off one self
Good for him. Here's to living and dying on your own terms. No one should be forced to suffer in pain.
That’s more pain than one man deserves in life. Such a beautiful film- thank you.
Don’t ever say you have it worse than someone else. This man is a legend in my eyes and id say hats off to you brother wherever you are. Long live Ralph. A true man
He's in hell because he spat in the face of the creator God and then committed suicide like a coward
@@frogmanencountersradio5462 glad that God has more love and grace than a mere human
@@beam3819 Thats' right. And he will never let you down.
He has a great attitude. I belong to Dignity in Dying UK. Hoping and praying we have laws in place soon to choose our death.
Thank you! An he done it all his way!
Thank you for sharing!! Thank you Ralph for the bravery to do this .
Ralph's message and wisdom are very helpful to the living who live with terminal illness. 😢 It won't be easy but death with dignity is exactly how I want to exit.
Yeah I'm chronically sick and don't plan on going anytime soon cause of my kids. But when I truly can't take it anymore and when it's time I'll do it like this too. Need to travel to another country though. 40+🇫🇮 Finnishmama
@@annarasmus8737 Here is wisdom: Why don't you read the Bible instead of trying to be "GOD"? Suicide bring you into Hell. Accept JESUS and ask HIM to give you the Grace you need.
I have stage 4 melanoma as well. Spread all over quickly. Lots of treatment lots of surgery. It can be brutal and I wish I had the positivity this guy shows. It's so hard and what little time I was told I had left has dragged on for 9 years. I wish I could be grateful for the extra time but I've been taking chemo medication twice a day everyday for the past 8 years or so. The cancer pops up in new places from time to time and I have to have another surgery which are usually major surgeries with long, hard recoveries. It sounds so selfish to say when some people would give anything for that much extra time but it hasn't been a very enjoyable time. Don't want to die right now and I really enjoyed life before but I sometimes wish it had just taken me at the beginning. None of my friends have ever come to see me or call. In their defense I never tried to get in touch with anyone either but I wasn't really expecting that to happen. My wife left too. I know some people don't know what to say or how to act around someone that's sick so I don't blame them but it would be nice to have some support. There were never any fund raisers or benefits. No cards, get togethers and no thoughts and prayers. Not a single text. Lonely, depressed, sick and going through the painful motions.
Pretty intense when you seriously consider this as an option.
Will be praying for you mate. I think reading the bible might bring you the LORD's comfort. The King James Version is what I'd recommend (the standard 1611 version). You're definitely not alone. God bless you my friend♥️
@@MorgueVOID thank you and merry Christmas
@@davegordon6943 God bless you friend. You'll be remembered in my prayers
God bless my friend
@@krzysztofgocha4299 thank you
I love this man’s outlook, no one deserves to die like that. May he rest in paradise.
RIP Mr Ralph.
Prayers to those left behind.
When I was younger, one of my best friends was diagnosed with cancer at age 23.
His final weeks before his death were so horrific that I cannot go into detail here.
In hindsight, I think it would have been a good decision for him to choose the option which Ralph chose.
But assisted suicide wasn’t a topic yet in those years.
People who have never seen others dying of cancer or other horrible diseases should not judge others prematurely.
I agree wholeheartedly! My pain tolerance and your pain tolerance is very different AND IT’S PERSONAL! Ralph’s choice was a great choice for him; I’m researching this right now for myself!
They shouldn’t judge people regardless, but you’re right; people can’t know what it’s like to hear that diagnosis and go through the process of treatments, physical pain, emotional and mental pain, and everything else. Yet, it seems those with no clue are always the loudest, most opinionated ones.
I have cancer and I am going to make sure I have the option to die with dignity if I do become terminal. So sorry about your best friend. nobody deserves to go through that. Nobody deserves to see a loved one or friend go through that either. People have no idea.
This man had the vibe, energy, and mental acuity/body language of a man in his 40's... What a truly great man.
No he was a coward who killed himself
Oh, you're going to so bravely waste away to nothing and endure senseless pain. You should get a medal.
@@roundboyli7217 I guess you'd rather watch a loved one die in unbearable pain and agony. My stepbrother James was groaning in pain even AFTER he'd been fully sedated on his deathbed.
Strangely Uplifting and Positive. A good life and a great endgame Ralph
So proud of this man! I would absolutely do the same thing, no question about it! My brothers been battling with colon cancer for two years now. His Dr told him he will not make it to Christmas 2023. He’s on the most powerful morphine they can give him, to help him get through his days when the pain in his abdomen gets unbearable. He’s a year older then me 63, but he’s a lot tougher then iam! A lifetime Marine, who wants to fight it out too his last breath. I know in his heart he’s ready to go. To end all this pain, but he’s having a hard time saying goodbye to his wife and kids. I get that. 😢 You will be missed Mark, but always in our hearts. ❤️
My mom and my brother in law both died miserably from cancer and should have been given this dignity. Thank you Ralphs friends and family for sharing this. More people should have this option.
I watched cancer eat my mom’s body to the bones and the suffering she went through was horrific. I’m glad people can choose how they want to go before it gets so bad.
Only in certain states do we have much say
Such respect for Ralph. His sharing of his truth was a true service to the human legacy.
I lost my grandpa to pancreatic cancer. 7 months from the diagnosis. The last words he said were I love you too when I told him I loved him. He was my only father figure. I still can’t believe he is gone. I love and miss you papa
Sincere condolences. It will get better….give it time.
It’s our life. It’s our choice to die the way we want to die. Rest easy. Be at peace.
Rest in peace Ralph, may we all have the courage you display in the face of our own challenges.
He was a coward he chose the easy way out rather than fight till the end God is most displeased with him
@@roundboyli7217 LOL, prove it
@@strikerone6991 don't have to
@@roundboyli7217 you are correct
@@roundboyli7217 You are a contemptible human being. I feel sorry for anyone who had to deal with you out in the real world.
A very dignified passing at his own hands. Well done to the producer and editor for making it such a beautiful video to watch with none of the sad stuff. I hope this type of passing is made available across all of Europe. thank you very much guys.... lots of love from Ireland XXXXXXXXXX
Just wow what a powerful video.I wish i would have known Ralph.My prayers are with his family and friends❤