Perfectionism Is Ruining Your Life (What to Do About It)
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- Опубліковано 10 тра 2024
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A few months ago, I interviewed Professor Thomas Curran about perfectionism. He explained what perfectionism is, why it's problematic, and how we can work to overcome it. So in this video, I'm sharing his best insights and ideas so hopefully you get some useful tips on how to beat perfectionism. Enjoy!
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Check out the full interview with Thomas here: • The Perfection Trap: W...
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WHO AM I?
If we haven’t yet before - Hey 👋 I’m Ali, a doctor-turned-entrepreneur and I’ve somehow become the world’s most followed productivity expert. Through my videos here on this channel, my podcast Deep Dive and writing, I share evidence-based strategies and tools to help you be more productive and build a life you love.
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⌚️Timestamps:
0:00 - Introduction
1:33 - The Productivity Paradox
3:39 - The Perfectionism Trap
6:21 - Imposter Syndrome
8:08 - Set Reasonable Standards
11:51 - Surrendering
13:37 - Set Failure As Success
14:46 - Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone
16:18 - Sketch Your Goals
✍Check out my journalling hub here: go.aliabdaal.com/21Y7ag
Interesting topic, because I find your channel and your work 100% perfect. Your editing, way of speaking, intelligence. I watch your videos, and when the animations come in, I think, "How did he do that? I have no idea or skill to do such a thing." So it's kind of disheartening to know that my best doesn't even come close to 20% of what you deliver. I feel limited, and often even think I'm stupid, even though I'm a teacher and author of Physics books here in Brazil. How can we improve to achieve something close to Ali Abdaal's standard?
Thank you Ali. Really good video... One thing that has helped me tremendously is to free myself from wanting to control the opinion of others. Also, I have come in contact with my inner critics and trained them to treat me better... totally life-changing. The work I did was inspired from Jay Earley and the Internal Family system... but not only. If you read this comment and you a perfectionnist, try IFS as well. ❤
There is so much I could say about the topic... I could write a series of books. 😂 Perctionism is a vampire draining the joy out life. Everyone deserves to break free from its grip.
لمست شي احنا بنحسه يوميا شكرا لك ساعدتنا كثيرر
Just amazing, thank you.
I have started uploading videos to my channel since watching your advice about starting
"I need the perfect camera, perfect mic, perfect lighting before i start my youtube channel". ended up starting my channel 3 years too late
Never too late you can start it now, you dont need to be perfect at start , you learn how to be more perfect after you upload your video and understand the mistake of your work
Hope you to achieve sucess🌸🙏
Yeah I can relate, cause it’s been the same for me. Though I started with shorts last month, but am still struggling with being consistent 🫣
Better late than never!
I still struggle with this for shooting videos, but slowly getting more comfortable with imperfection and just doing
Feel this. I just started something and I hope it works out. But now I'm somewhere in between "I love doing this" and "I hate myself for not starting earlier"
You're not alone brother
Blame school for being a perfectionist... they literally punish you for failure and don't let you correct yourself after making a mistake, but punish you instead.
Thi-hi-hi-hi-hissss!!
What she said ☝🏻
So glad I did not go to your school, my school for how little attendance I had, encouraged you not punished you, for not being a perfectionist. Mostly home schooled due to having a lot of surgery as a child.
@@celtpro Every school that fails you and leaves that failure as a mark of your end result is punishing you for failure and want you to be a perfectionist.
In the real world when you fail, you try again the moment you fail, with the knowledge you got from failing and with reading and learning on the spot afterwards.
This doesn't apply only to surgeons, pilots and similar professions that actually require perfectionism.
I came across this video, and realized that I am facing this problem all of my time. I try to be perfect in every aspect rather than embracing myself and just start doing what I want to do.
That's such an important topic. I used to be such a perfectionist and put so much pressure on myself that I simply wouldn't look for help, in fear of disappointing the people who said they were proud of me or inspired by my hard work, which lead me to burning out, feeling isolated and overworked. I took some steps to try to fix my perfectionism and imposter syndrome and I made progress but there's still quite a way to go.
..I have been battling random anxiety due to thinking I have to be high standards , in a short period.....this is the video I needed....“ progress over perfection "😢😢
So many of us struggle with that feeling of anxiety in striving for excellence, you're not alone.
You don't have to be anything than exactly what you are, then from there you will naturally start to progress because there is more self-acceptance!
Thank you for making this video about perfectionism. I have been in the perfectionism trap in the past trying to be the best. I'm recovering from my anxiety and depression and it's been going well that I can say I'm more comfortable in making mistakes and accepting them as learning opportunities.
Haven’t watched the full video yet, but this has been my whole life, even though I’ve recognised it in the past I still struggle to start because I don’t want to fail.
Thank you for the solutions I know will be in this video!
Feeling myself as someone who is in the perfectionism trap and I think I am definitely at the part where I am feeling guilty. You publishing this video has helped by verbalising the way I feel..... I am about to just start what I have been avoiding. Thank you Ali.
SO much power in finally leaning into what you resist. I like to say that the Perfectionist Paradox is "what you avoid, you create more of" so it's finally time to lean into what we avoid!
For sure, I have been watching you Ali not a long time ago, but as you tell us to not procrastinate, to do what we love, etc, nowadays when I plan my day or things to do, I plan to watch one of your videos everyday and when I don't watch it because I have downloaded some, I don't feel good because they are really really helpful. So, thanks a lot!
This same issues almost made me miss the beautiful opportunity of baby steps.
Picked up my channel this year and it's been a beautiful experience 😊.
I'm not getting the traction that I want yet, but I'm so glad that i started. I'm learning so much along the way, and just remember that if there's no beginning because you're seeking perfection, there will also be no ground where you will even have to make an improvement 😊. There's actually so much beauty in imperfect things, because you will have the option of improving it and getting better someday 😊.
Thank you for making this video. I really beat myself up on something in my work yesterday that did not go as I expected it to go. This put me more at ease.
Gracias Ali por traducir tus videos al español ya que tiene un gran impacto en mi vida y la mayoría de la comunidad hispanohablante ❤
Your editor is amazing this video is so satisfying
Thank you for the video. This is what i need for my coming exam ❤
Ali, thanks so much for creating these videos! I was a perfectionist my whole life which pulled me backwards both academically and professionally. I decide to make a change today and tell myself that something is better than nothing.
Thank you Ali and team. You’ve encapsulated lots of helpful tips in a practical and accessible way.
Being in this circumstance and exhausting myself, today I asked God for help and surprisingly this useful video popped up.
I absolutely love this. thank you so much Ali!!
Great video but I also wanted to mention that I read your book. It is the book I needed! So many other productivity books have big ideas, lofty goals, or are just outright condescending. This book was a breath of fresh air. It is so practical, realistic, and relatable! It has actually helped and improved my productivity. I will definitely read it again regularly. Well done Ali! 👏🏾
Great interview with Thomas! It’s really interesting to listen to other point of view
This is an incredible video Ali! I guess to summarize, getting rid of perfectionism is to allow ourselves to get motivated to "do the work" and not work so hard to the point of burn out. And ultimately, the key to success is to simply put in the effort - day by day, week by week. Amazing lesson.
Very helpful. after so many years, i just realized that i fall under perfectionist category. this Video was an eye opener
This video was literally all I needed. Cannot relate more with each and every word you spoke in the video. I am personally facing this situation and was scrambling to handle it. This video came as a ray of light! Thank you!
After watching this, I realized how much perfectionism exists in different aspects of my life and I really have to try to get rid of it.✌️
You continue to inspire me in my UA-cam journey! Thank you so much!
Thanks Ali, this was super helpful.
You’re a Legend.
This really resonated with me, everything in this video and all the tips given in the video were actually the key to my liberation from perfectionism. It had become a loop in my life and was actually was what held me back all the more. It took me so much to go from all or nothing, to something is better than nothing. It is okay sometimes to just be. Also it becomes really suffocating when you're just focused on making something perfect that it steals creativity and joy from it, and you become the hamster on a wheel. Also you are NOT your accomplishments you're just you, society may not like that true, but unless it causes anyone intentional harm, it is okay to be just that.
Another tip is to reward yourself a lil something after you're done with a task so that it makes it a Lil more enjoyable to begin.
Also, really grateful for this video, I wish it had released before but I'll return to it everytime I need🌊
I was just watching part time youtuber academy and then i thought i have to have the perfect lighting and upgrade my camera and then i found you have uploaded this video!! Thank you so much Ali for your advice and push you give us !
Thank you so much Ali, this video is gold
This is so important for me to hear! I am trying to work towards my dream job and it is so true that failing is such a great learning process! My soccer coach would tell me that success teaches us nothing, but failure teaches us and helps us grow!
I still need to step outside my comfort and go forward! Thanks Ali! ❤️ I really needed this today!
that's so beautiful to hear! there is so much freedom in allowing ourselves to fail.
Keep going!
Good to see you Ali!!!
thankyou aliii !!! love from india ❤
Just watched your video on beating perfectionism with Professor Curran's insights! It was super enlightening and totally resonated with me. Thanks for sharing those awesome tips! Can't wait to put them into action! 💪😊
The Fear Setting exercise is absolutely brilliant. I always do this with clients over goal setting.
Thank you Ali, as a perfectionist, this vid is helping me to overcome the constant need to be perfect.
This is the best video you have ever created. Thank you 🙏
Thank you for making audio in differents language, as a French I'm so happy !!!
Savez vous comment écouter en anglais si on le souhaite, depuis la France ?
I loved the part of the video dedicated to Buddhism, thank you. I have been interested by this eastern religion/philosophy for several years, and as an occidental citizen (Spanish to be precise 😄), I found the book "Don't Take your Life Seriously" by Ajahn Sumedho superb. Have a good weekend everyone!
Ali, Thank you so much for your study and insights. And thank you for presenting it in a way that I can apply it to my own self.
I live in Australia and am in my mid 60s. I’m working on my Feel Good Productivity in the workplace. … There’s a follow-on title for you.
For me this means managing a hyper-critical supervisor. The more she is picks on me, the perfectionist and slower I’ve become, and I’m now considering reporting her to my manager, as some of my colleagues have done.
Thanks a lot for making this video. I waited for it
To get started I much prefer focusing on the input (e.g. I will spend the next 1 hour researching the topic, bookmarking resources and putting interesting findings on this random doc/ppt) than the ideal output, and if it's outside my comfort zone, I will tell myself "let's do it, and if I'm not good at it (yet) then let's do it badly"
Love the editing, it's so satisfying
I liked the video even before watching it. Nobody talks about this topic but everyone needs to know this.
this video came out at the perfect time, thank you so much ali!
Same here! No coincidence! Very accurate & inspiring content from Ali!
Much needed video!! Thank you Ali:)❤
Absolutely amazing timing, I was getting crippling anxiety just now
Thank you so much for this video. I needed it
This vídeo is so necessary, can’t wait to watch the full episode, and understand from a specialist what defines a perfectionist
perfectionism can be one h*ll of a drug! and one that we don't even know we're on.
Thank you Ali .You taught me to think differently .Though span of life is limited but there is no shortage of reasons to live well 😊
This video is aimed at me. Too many nuggets in this video, I am definitely rewatching to take notes.
This was insightful. Thanks for sharing Ali👏🏾
Perfectionist here, need to start implementing these into my life. Thanks, Ali!
Much needed video rn for me...Thank you Ali
So insightful and so true. Thank you!
This is gold, for me at least. Much needed. ❤️🌸
Appreciate your work and dedication ❤.
This was such a good video and deeply resonates with me! Thank you for this video! I love the idea of "good enough"
This is a wonderful video. It is not very specific yet value adding and that makes it very relatable, be it for a student or a working individual or a at home individual. Thank you! Definitely a video worth watching multiple times to get the most benefits out of.
Thank you for this wonderful insights!
I feel very seen! Started my YT-Channel in February and I'm struggling to put out one video in 2 weeks (my goal one video in 1 week). My standards for my first videos are set way too high!
Thanks so much! Now I now how I can achieve my goal of making one video a week 😍
I had this problem 4-5 years ago, when i was trying to start my youtube channel, but when I realized that i will never start, this year it was my year to start my channel whatever it takes.
💪
GO FOR IT!
Okay I'm going to get back to study. Thanks for this motivation Ali!!! 🙏🙏🙏
Needed this today!
I was facing difficulty watching your videos 😢. Because all of your videos were in English. But this video I watched in Hindi😮. I think this is a new feature on UA-cam but this is helpful for me.
As always Thanks Ali.
Your examples in your video are so good 😍😍👌👌👌thank you so much for your awesome videos🙏🙏🙏🌸🌸
Heya !! Do have interest in mehndi art ??🦋☺️❤️
feels like you made this video for me. Thank you
Amazing video. I’m trying hard not to be a perfectionist, but I find it hard to convince myself, and I procrastinate a lot because of perfectionism. As an Asian, though my parents are always supportive and they never put too much pressure on me, I still feel I have to be perfect. Looking at my friends, it seems like everyone has achieved something in their lives while I’m still struggling to find the right career path for me. Honestly sometimes I feel quite left behind
Hi there! Got surprised with the Spanish translation😮 Thank you❤
Thanks for this video❤
Im glad I found this video when I did. Yesterday was one of the worst days I have had in nearly a decade, and a great deal of that pain was from my perfectionism. I spent almost my entire work day yesterday just sitting at my desk and ruminating rather than working. I always beat myself up when I make mistakes and I spiral into negative thoughts fairly easily. I feel like I constantly let myself and others down.
But even watching this video made me do some kind of upward social comparison.. It's hard not to feel like a failure
Currently procrastinating on updating my CV for my upcoming job interview that has been set for nearly 2 weeks now. 3 more days to go and I feel this massive dread of not being good enough and to withdraw my job application just to get out of this feeling. I was on the fence so I decided to watch this video. So at least I started to get my laptop out and start to write things down.... and I am still on the fence. One hand I am grateful for the opportunity to even be offered an interview for a government job (quite a big deal where I come from), but on the other hand, it was too much pressure and I don't think I want it anymore....
At your section about procrastination I admired your macbook so much I started googling 'apple mac wrap covers' instead of listening. Procrastination do be hittin real. TIME TO FOCUSSSS.
i was just watching your very early videos which had your friends singing - could you do a video catching up with them? It’ll be nice to see them again🤗❤️ How do you feel remembering those singing sessions?
Thanks for making such eye opening videos.
I love your book! I am a reading tutor for children ages 3 and up and I talk about parent mindset around learning all the time and how children thrive when they learn through play. I will be doing a series on your book on my IG and facebook community, on how they can implement the principles in your book to their child's education.
amazing video, very relatable, Ali! Also, compliments on your blue pullover lol
I found this really enlightening and relatable!
Absolutely amazing video❤
It was really helpful thank you im still dealing with perfectionism but i hope i get somewhere by getting along with it!
I kind of needed this video. During the past years I lost so many opportunities just because I thought I was not ready enough for that. It is really sad when I look past.
May I give you a feedback?
For me you speak a little fast and makes it hart to concentrate and follow on what are talking.
I do follow your content and enjoy it.
Thankyou so much for such an informative video
Needed this.
❤ God I love ali's approach to action. It's not the distination that matters, it's the journey to the distination.
Loved loved the 'surrendering' segment! And that's what I'm doing right now (also by taking the Part-Time UA-camr course).
Tho I have to say I'm a bit sad you're a Ravenclaw, I was sure I've met you in our Gryffindor's common room, hahaha!
Thank you for everything Ravenclaw fellow ^^
This is the video I need!
Saw the notification and clicked so fast
Mn..me too this the video I needed
I Just created video about this
Really helpful! I want to share with my colleagues too!
Ali switching it up with the new look😀💯
Thank you for great job! Really interesting and educational video. If be honest, this video opened my eyes on term “perfectionism”, because all my life I thought it’s something positive and correct. But reality is another and our distorted perception makes a lot of problems for us… problems, that we don’t notice. I guess the main problem starts from school with stupid marks system, from childhood with old education methods. But later this problems transfer in other parts of our life and it makes it realy more difficult
Needed this
this is a right video at right time
Perfectionism definitely hinders my growth. I struggle with putting something out when I KNOW I COULD do better 😣
I love to see a video about Ramadan from your channel as a Doctor and productivity expert 😍
Thanks for amazing video! I love it! What editing program you are using here?
Asalamualikum warehmatullah ,ramzan mubark brodrs nd sisters
Thanks for sharing informative videos , I would be thankful if you share articles links which were mentioned in video.
I don't know how many people even have an idea of this issue.
I aced my first set of exams. I didn't attempt the next semester because i wasn't prepared enough (the high standards). I have attended everyday of the 3 years, never wrote the exams because i didn't study enough to ace again. Wasted that 3 years. Mental health issues said "Hi".
So yeah listen to him, don't make the mistakes i have made.
Just do it❤
Instead of waiting to get a good camera, recording system etc, like I've been waiting for all these years, I've recently completed my 75days. 75 videos challenge. I posted each video every day. Some of them were good and some of them weren't. Doing this challenge put me in a place to push my self and record, edit post my videos each and every day no matter what and now it takes only couple of minutes to do that. It became a part of my routine. I used to plan everything and put them a side, wanted everything to be perfect which eventually lacked consistency. Though, my videos aren't perfect for me they are to others and I posted consistently for all these days.
Perfect time. I need this video
Ali just spoke to me directly 😢