I misspoke: Kernberg described narcissism as a defense against borderline personality organization. This is why borderline is described as failed narcissism.
Holy fucking shit this is so spot on I don't even know what to say. It's literally what happens inside me. Of course all my worthless psychiatrists and psychologists have been unable to catch it. I hate living here. I don't know why I am the way I am but I find myself wishing I would have been less functioning and have fallen into deeper dysfunction earlier, and gotten a proper diagnosis. Or some other catharsis... I guess I don't really mean that, but it's been a long and painful void of a life. Just something tangible would have been nice.
'A long and painful void of self' amen to that! I am a borderline and I experience my existence the same way. I would be ok with it if I could at least express my experience creatively but emptiness is emptiness, there isnt really anything to express and that's what's so painful. I feel my life has been stolen.
🎱From day to day just letting it ride You get so far away from how it feels inside... You can't let go cause you're afraid to fall But the day may come when You can't feel at all....🎱
🎱Went walking all morning.... Went walking all night.... I can't see much difference.... between The dark and light I can't feel the wind, and I don't taste the rain but, Never in my mind have i thought twice to Cause so much Pain 🎱
All I know is I do know when my narcissism is going into a galaxy far far away, I’ve noticed where it ends is where my intense emotions begin into where I am in a state of self efficacy. I’m not injured nor am I mortified, I am just in reality attempting to accept myself how I am yet I don’t believe I will ever so that is why I am constantly irritable and not concealed or compensating.
I misspoke: Kernberg described narcissism as a defense against borderline personality organization. This is why borderline is described as failed narcissism.
Very interesting about borderline's false self. I think borderlines behave like classical Jekyll and Hyde way more often than narcissists or psychopaths. In one of your previous videos you mentioned that a borderline who experiences a huge trauma can lose all of her emotions for good. I know it's true because that happened to me. That day wasn't the worst day of my life, it was the best day of my life as I haven't experienced depression ever since. Of course I was very privileged to not kill the people involved or myself back then. So intense was the trauma. Keep up the good work Sir!
"The borderline person has to reinvent herself every morning." This brought to my mind some people I have known that change their hair style all the time or who move on from one hobby to the next and the next. Also those who become activists in this cause and then that and then something else.
Some things I learnt and relate to from the video. Unlike a narcissist I think I have a true self that sporadically exist, while narcissists don't have a true self, instead has False self. I think my narcissistic self is a learnt state I have learnt from others, a self state among many others. My true self does exist deep inside and it is why I do notice my false self or selves. The way I experience it, it is like an observer, a judge. It does not have a personality, that is, it has no inter-personal relations with other external people or the world. It only has authority over my self states and passes judgement over my performance. I think I now understand how borderline is grandiose internally. As if I believe I am suppose to be able to control everything (inability to separate or individuate from the external world) and the deep emptiness of the borderline maybe the absence of that control. Like the way amputated person feels the absence of the feelings of the missing limb. The way my true self feels grandiosity is absolute. It is not affected by any external (narcissistic) supply, instead I reject reality. I am not sure yet if this idea I seem to be learning even makes complete sense to me. It's like I don't need narcissistic supply to feel grandiose, I already feel it. Instead I developed narcissistic and psychopathic self states to have control over the world as my grandiose true self is suppose to. These self states also function as an escape because the judgement of the true grandiose self or the dissonance between reality and the grandiose self is so great and empty and hopeless, it may lead to fatality. But the escape will always be interrupted periodically by the true grandiose self.
😮 jakbym czytała o sobie i facecie,z którym się spotykałam . Ja border, on narcys. Będę próbowała zwiększać rezyliencje układu nerwowego i emocjonalnego aby wychodzić z mechanizmu obronnego (ucieczka itp). A dlatego, że moje prawdziwe wspaniałe Ja ma w sobie zasoby dyscypliny i wiarę. - wiem, że się uda :)
Good day Sir, I'm interested on this topic and subscribed to your channel. I'm grateful that you made so many videos explaining about BPD. I'm sorry to bother you, my english is not really good at listening but it's better on reading. If you don't mind, could you put text or enable the text feature on your videos? Thank you for reading my comment 🙏
Dear Professor Vaknin, I want to thank you for turning on/enabling the text feature, now I can learn easier. May your life be easier because you help made other people's life easier 🙏
Can a Borderline be drawn to an autistic person in a similar way that they are drawn to a narcissist? I know autists are often mistaken for narcissists because of their many similarities. I’m wondering if an autist may also soothe/stimulate/ activate the Lachkar V spot.
I think it is more for AuDHD types wherein there is a higher comorbidity of narcissistic traits in those with ADHD that is cromulent for borderlines- the AuDHD provides the script of self for the borderline. Elon Musk is a good example of AuDHD. Most high functioning autists are that way due to the way that ADHD cancels out some of their rigidity.
I misspoke: Kernberg described narcissism as a defense against borderline personality organization. This is why borderline is described as failed narcissism.
Interesting ...
Holy fucking shit this is so spot on I don't even know what to say. It's literally what happens inside me. Of course all my worthless psychiatrists and psychologists have been unable to catch it. I hate living here. I don't know why I am the way I am but I find myself wishing I would have been less functioning and have fallen into deeper dysfunction earlier, and gotten a proper diagnosis. Or some other catharsis... I guess I don't really mean that, but it's been a long and painful void of a life. Just something tangible would have been nice.
'A long and painful void of self' amen to that! I am a borderline and I experience my existence the same way. I would be ok with it if I could at least express my experience creatively but emptiness is emptiness, there isnt really anything to express and that's what's so painful. I feel my life has been stolen.
🎱From day to day just letting it ride
You get so far away from how it feels inside...
You can't let go cause you're afraid to fall
But the day may come when
You can't feel at all....🎱
Comes a time....
when a blind man takes your hand and says ....
Don't you see....🎱
Phantom Ships on....
Phantom Seas....Set sail on,
Phantom Tides....🏴
🎱Went walking all morning....
Went walking all night....
I can't see much difference....
between
The dark and light
I can't feel the wind, and I don't taste the rain but,
Never
in my mind have i thought twice
to
Cause so much Pain
🎱
All I know is I do know when my narcissism is going into a galaxy far far away, I’ve noticed where it ends is where my intense emotions begin into where I am in a state of self efficacy. I’m not injured nor am I mortified, I am just in reality attempting to accept myself how I am yet I don’t believe I will ever so that is why I am constantly irritable and not concealed or compensating.
I misspoke: Kernberg described narcissism as a defense against borderline personality organization. This is why borderline is described as failed narcissism.
Thank you for the video Sir. You are a life saver. God bless you. 👏👏👏
Very interesting about borderline's false self. I think borderlines behave like classical Jekyll and Hyde way more often than narcissists or psychopaths. In one of your previous videos you mentioned that a borderline who experiences a huge trauma can lose all of her emotions for good. I know it's true because that happened to me. That day wasn't the worst day of my life, it was the best day of my life as I haven't experienced depression ever since. Of course I was very privileged to not kill the people involved or myself back then. So intense was the trauma. Keep up the good work Sir!
This is an extreme narcissist world. God protect me. My true friends and family support my goals. I support them.
Prof. Vaknin, thank you so much.
Another enlightening lecture, helping me to comprehend the rogues gallery of personalities I’ve encountered. Thank you Professor Vaknin.
"The borderline person has to reinvent herself every morning." This brought to my mind some people I have known that change their hair style all the time or who move on from one hobby to the next and the next. Also those who become activists in this cause and then that and then something else.
My man, Vaknin! Good day to you✌️
The "self" is a skill we don't fully appreciate until something goes wrong🤷
Perfect. In depth and Interesting. Thanks
Some things I learnt and relate to from the video. Unlike a narcissist I think I have a true self that sporadically exist, while narcissists don't have a true self, instead has False self. I think my narcissistic self is a learnt state I have learnt from others, a self state among many others. My true self does exist deep inside and it is why I do notice my false self or selves. The way I experience it, it is like an observer, a judge. It does not have a personality, that is, it has no inter-personal relations with other external people or the world. It only has authority over my self states and passes judgement over my performance.
I think I now understand how borderline is grandiose internally. As if I believe I am suppose to be able to control everything (inability to separate or individuate from the external world) and the deep emptiness of the borderline maybe the absence of that control. Like the way amputated person feels the absence of the feelings of the missing limb. The way my true self feels grandiosity is absolute. It is not affected by any external (narcissistic) supply, instead I reject reality. I am not sure yet if this idea I seem to be learning even makes complete sense to me. It's like I don't need narcissistic supply to feel grandiose, I already feel it. Instead I developed narcissistic and psychopathic self states to have control over the world as my grandiose true self is suppose to. These self states also function as an escape because the judgement of the true grandiose self or the dissonance between reality and the grandiose self is so great and empty and hopeless, it may lead to fatality. But the escape will always be interrupted periodically by the true grandiose self.
This is wonderful
😮 jakbym czytała o sobie i facecie,z którym się spotykałam . Ja border, on narcys. Będę próbowała zwiększać rezyliencje układu nerwowego i emocjonalnego aby wychodzić z mechanizmu obronnego (ucieczka itp). A dlatego, że moje prawdziwe wspaniałe Ja ma w sobie zasoby dyscypliny i wiarę. - wiem, że się uda :)
Bravo Sam! 👏 this is exactly what I have experienced when helping others, thank you for the suggestion of DBT. 20:12
No justice,( only just us)
Good day Sir, I'm interested on this topic and subscribed to your channel. I'm grateful that you made so many videos explaining about BPD. I'm sorry to bother you, my english is not really good at listening but it's better on reading. If you don't mind, could you put text or enable the text feature on your videos?
Thank you for reading my comment 🙏
Agree. Keeps me focused. This is hopeless shit. 😢 It is better to know. 😊
Dear Professor Vaknin, I want to thank you for turning on/enabling the text feature, now I can learn easier. May your life be easier because you help made other people's life easier 🙏
Thanks for this
At :30 in to the video... I believe that Kernberg said that narcissim was a defense against borderline, not the other way around. 🙏
Correct. This is why borderline is described as failed narcissism.
Can a Borderline be drawn to an autistic person in a similar way that they are drawn to a narcissist? I know autists are often mistaken for narcissists because of their many similarities. I’m wondering if an autist may also soothe/stimulate/ activate the Lachkar V spot.
@@elizabethbednar7770hello l can relate to that.
I think it is more for AuDHD types wherein there is a higher comorbidity of narcissistic traits in those with ADHD that is cromulent for borderlines- the AuDHD provides the script of self for the borderline.
Elon Musk is a good example of AuDHD. Most high functioning autists are that way due to the way that ADHD cancels out some of their rigidity.
@@slofty very complex are you studying Psychology how can everyone remember it all .
True True
I'm sick :(
Tell as the solution please prof. I'am suffring .. help me please ..
I swear she's a borderline but now I'm wondering can my sister be autistic
Very confusing
Can anyone help me, how can I translate this video into Portuguese to watch, or if it has subtitles??