This is no way an exaggeration , flattery or otherwise but I honestly don't now what I would've done with out your videos this last two years. They have kept me sane, and given me a means to make sense of everything. You have helped me so much, thank you so much I wish I could express it better.
When I am clear about my limits, that childish and capricious character appears. At this point I just limit myself to laughing and not answering him. At times I am afraid of the anger he has contained, but I know that if he goes beyond the limits, he will end up on the street. He knows very well that we have a transaction. I give him a place to sleep, he pays the taxes. That contained anger destroys him, he hates himself, he escapes from reality. He is self-destructive. He already knows that I don't care what he has to say, he knows that I'm not going to fall into his trap. His family is the place where he reaffirms his narcissism. He runs home to seek comfort, his parents and sister continue to pamper him like a child and do not question him. It is pitiful. His family is a nest of narcissists.
If a narcissist switches to Endogenous collapse and does not receive any supply, what happens to them. I've got one who has gone to bed, ignores hygiene, drinks to destruction, and so forth. He constantly complains, now ignores everyone, has checked out of life, he's very hostile, copies me too. I refuse to give him supply. This has not been a temporary condition.
Why would a 60-yr-old narc leave wife of 28 years after alienating sons for 8 years with no warning for someone else way younger than me, take everything, then stalk me for 2 years and using legal abuse. Also seen with twenty-something men. Is this a result of switching?
It felt that he really couldnt do it fully if I wasnt there and saw it... Felt like I was the live ammo to make the finally switch... Why?... Audience?... He needed me there anyway..😮
Excellent video Sam 😊 Could a psychopath by switching "upgrade" himself in sadist ? Or could a psychopath by switching "downgrade" himself in overt narcissist ? Thanks.
Is a bpd man likely to talk to his intimate partner in a confused/disturbed, childlike way? Sometimes it's hard to understand what he means. He is like an autist.
So does a bisexual narcissistic man switching to a hetero-family man (perhaps due to a possible no-contact scenario followed by a collapse) remain permanent? Will he never get back to his gay male partner as part of the shared fantasy and introject I had with him ? This is so painful. especially since as an inverted narc myself and highly codependent on him, i seek only him. I had accepted his married life and made peace with it.
My situation was the opposite. I think he was secretly gay and was acting outwardly just before he switched, and then collapsed. Emotionally abused me.
@@annbethchinchillo9192 yeah, the emotional abuse. I cannot emphasize that enough. He put me through hell! he has ghosted me many times, but returned.. However, for the past few days, I am seeing a sea change, very different from his usual personality- this comes after the last conjugal meet we've had. I am now fearing a final abandonment. Although i am preparing for this.
Thank you Professor Vaknin. What self state does a covert borderline switch to? In a relationship between a covert borderline (male) and a covert psychopath (female) do they switch to the same self states? How are the personalities the same and how are they different in a relationship? Are the a good match for each other or will it become toxic? Love all your videos. They are so informative. Thank you.
a)How would you automate reality testing, if you could (generally, pseudo-personally?) b) Have you considered avoiding otherizing as a solution to the "gender problem" 🦄🛼
This is no way an exaggeration , flattery or otherwise but I honestly don't now what I would've done with out your videos this last two years. They have kept me sane, and given me a means to make sense of everything. You have helped me so much, thank you so much I wish I could express it better.
I was onto the fact my ex was mentally ill but when he switched, i knew for sure. Very scary
Professor, you know the intricacies of their behavior so well, like you were right there, watching their behavior. Both videos are very enlightening.
When I am clear about my limits, that childish and capricious character appears. At this point I just limit myself to laughing and not answering him.
At times I am afraid of the anger he has contained, but I know that if he goes beyond the limits, he will end up on the street. He knows very well that we have a transaction. I give him a place to sleep, he pays the taxes.
That contained anger destroys him, he hates himself, he escapes from reality. He is self-destructive. He already knows that I don't care what he has to say, he knows that I'm not going to fall into his trap.
His family is the place where he reaffirms his narcissism. He runs home to seek comfort, his parents and sister continue to pamper him like a child and do not question him. It is pitiful. His family is a nest of narcissists.
You need to leave this won't end well.
The switching made me think she was actually a different personality
Watching a psychopathic friend, who called herself Christian but flirted at every men she found, made a proud narcissist
I call it Dr Jackyll and Mr Hyde. It's mind blowing watching it happen.
@mabs4691 Yes it really, really is. Very glad I somewhat grasped what I was witnessing, but still...dang near wrecked me.
The popular phrase "unburdened by what has been" comes to mind.
You’ve helped me understand so much about my myself professor Vaknin, thank you.
Good to see you Proff
Horrible...😢.. true horror to see..
If a narcissist switches to Endogenous collapse and does not receive any supply, what happens to them. I've got one who has gone to bed, ignores hygiene, drinks to destruction, and so forth. He constantly complains, now ignores everyone, has checked out of life, he's very hostile, copies me too. I refuse to give him supply. This has not been a temporary condition.
Search the channel for "collapse", "deficient".
2nd and in real-time danger....So, I'm right on time!
Why would a 60-yr-old narc leave wife of 28 years after alienating sons for 8 years with no warning for someone else way younger than me, take everything, then stalk me for 2 years and using legal abuse. Also seen with twenty-something men. Is this a result of switching?
It felt that he really couldnt do it fully if I wasnt there and saw it... Felt like I was the live ammo to make the finally switch... Why?... Audience?... He needed me there anyway..😮
Hahahaha your sign off!! ❤️ loved every second of this video. Very informative!! Thank you so much for posting!
Excellent video Sam 😊
Could a psychopath by switching "upgrade" himself in sadist ?
Or could a psychopath by switching "downgrade" himself in overt narcissist ?
Thanks.
Primary psychopaths very rarely switch and then only to overt narcissist. Secondary psychopaths switch to borderline.
@ Thank you.
Is a bpd man likely to talk to his intimate partner in a confused/disturbed, childlike way? Sometimes it's hard to understand what he means. He is like an autist.
Yes. Infantilization.
@samvaknin can this be typical for pwNPD also?
Can i know whether i have npd or not ...or i just feel such a doubt beacuse i endured a narcissist for a while
How long does it take to diagnose someone with npd? And what can they mistakenly get diagnosed with if the therapist isn’t knowledgeable in npd?
A competent diagnostician can safely diagnose NPD within a few hours of tests and structured interviews. Search the channel for "misdiagnos".
Perhaps Paranoid pshykosis.
This is what happens when Granon switches :))
So does a bisexual narcissistic man switching to a hetero-family man (perhaps due to a possible no-contact scenario followed by a collapse) remain permanent? Will he never get back to his gay male partner as part of the shared fantasy and introject I had with him ? This is so painful. especially since as an inverted narc myself and highly codependent on him, i seek only him. I had accepted his married life and made peace with it.
My situation was the opposite. I think he was secretly gay and was acting outwardly just before he switched, and then collapsed. Emotionally abused me.
@@annbethchinchillo9192 yeah, the emotional abuse. I cannot emphasize that enough. He put me through hell! he has ghosted me many times, but returned.. However, for the past few days, I am seeing a sea change, very different from his usual personality- this comes after the last conjugal meet we've had. I am now fearing a final abandonment. Although i am preparing for this.
Thank you Professor Vaknin. What self state does a covert borderline switch to? In a relationship between a covert borderline (male) and a covert psychopath (female) do they switch to the same self states? How are the personalities the same and how are they
different in a relationship? Are the a good match for each other or will it become toxic? Love all your videos. They are so informative. Thank you.
Covert borderlines are borderlines.
psychopaths are the masters of disguises, I think they’re almost all covert until you’re in their grips
a)How would you automate reality testing, if you could (generally, pseudo-personally?)
b) Have you considered avoiding otherizing as a solution to the "gender problem" 🦄🛼