Tim Minchin "One day you'll be as good as Elton John" | Universal Comedy
Вставка
- Опубліковано 23 лис 2024
- To help you through your self-isolation or quarantined state, here's an anthem from the genius songwriter and star of Jesus Christ Superstar, Tim Minchin.
OH AND REMEMBER TO WASH YOUR HANDS
Taken from his 2008 special So F*cking Rock.
LYRICS
He looks at me intensely
Contact lens green with artifical envy
C*cks his head and fixes me with a condescending stare
Flicks his bleached, blond tipped hair
And theorises thus
You know what I reckon?
Pause for effect
Adjusts his tackle as if it’s semi-er*ct
I feel I’d better give him what I know he expects
What do you reckon?
A hand on the shoulder
An avuncular wink
Sips his lemon drink
Spits out the pips
Hands on hips
Licks his lips
Like a wolf near a flock
Yet again adjusting his fantasy c*ck
He delivers his philosophy
I reckon it don’t matter
It don’t mean squat
What you earn or what you got
Or the style of your hair
Or what you wear
It matters not
Like what do you care
That I live on a hill with views of the beach
That my chick and my dogs have an en-suite bathroom each
That I’ve already reached my first million and I’m only 26
You’re as thick as two bricks
If you think you can fix
What is broke in your life with money
And the funny thing is
And I sh*t you not
That I’d give it all up like that
He leaves me to ponder his wisdom for a bit
And with a click of his fingers
Beckons the blondest, bimbo-est barmaid
And grinning ridiculously
Orders a G and T
And a beer, for me
And before I can escape
He’s back saying
Cos mate, the thing is
All of that crap
It’s all superficial
It’s all just a front
Anyone can be a rich c*nt
But the thing we all want
Can’t be bought with dosh
You know what I mean boss?
Cos you don’t give a toss
That when I want to get slim
I’ve got my own private gym
And a personal trainer called Danielle or Darlene
She’s got t*ts
Like those chicks
In Ralph magazine
And it’s not like you care
That I own the controlling share
Of an overseas company
That builds accounting software
It matters not one bit
I mean who gives a sh*t
That I earn six hundred grand
And drive a brand new land rover
You know I would hand it all over like that
He pauses for a beat
Long enough for me to retreat to a seat
And sit, elbow on the bar
And contemplate this guru
With his white teeth and big car
And ponder silently my belief
That genius comes in many a form
And that this postulating, peroxided p*rn-star prick ain’t one of them
My specultaion cut short
As he reforms
Like Terminator II
And before I have time to abort
He descends upon me and snorts
I guess what I’m trying to say
In my own little way
Is that I reckon that musos and artists and that
Well I reckon they’re great
I know some people reckon you guys just sit on your bums
And don’t get out of bed til the pizza man comes
And smoke cones
And take crack
And wack-off all day
But I don’t care what they say
And I don’t listen to people
Who say that all actors are gay
Not that I don’t think that’s OK
As far as I’m concerned
Although it’s not my bag
If you wanna be a fag
Be a fag y’know?
Who am I to say
Where you come
And where you go
In the privacy of your own homo
Ha ha
Homo
Ha ha
Homo
Ha ha
He’s shitting me now
And my eyes start to glaze
And through the haze of my anger
I notice his G and T is gone
And he’s starting to dribble
As he dribbles on and fucking on
But you musos are alright
I don’t know much about music
But I know what I like
And I reckon I’d throw it all in
To be like you Jim
I mean you might be poor in monetary terms
But what you earn spiritually
What makes you what you are
Just means so much more
Than what you earn from a really nice car
Or a tennis court
Or holidays in Greece
Or a house on the beach
Or stock market shares
Or twenty-one pairs
Of Calvin Klein underwear
Do you understand you are a wealthy, wealthy man
I mean I don’t want to piss in your pocket
But i’ve gotta say
Before I get on my way
That honestly, and I’m not having you on
I reckon on day you could play the piano as good as Elton John
The cops are still mingling
Though the crowd’s shuffled out
I’ve got ice on my hand
Where my fist met his mouth
And although I explained
That it wasn’t my fault
I’ve a five hundred buck fine
For aggravated assault
So before it gets worse
I reckon I’ll bolt
A wealthy, wealthy man
In a 1981 Mitsubishi Colt
Don’t forget to subscribe to Universal Comedy for all your comedy needs - www.youtube.co...
#StandUp #Comedy #TimMinchin #SelfIsolation #Musicals #AndrewLloydWebber
People don't understand how difficult it is to recite all that without following a repetitive rythm while managing to play every piano note in its right place. Tim may be a comedian, but he's a bloody great musician.
4st 7lb hay, do you happen to know what type of piano he is doing, I have no idea what it’s called
The thing that always baffles me is that he can’t read sheet music
If anybody ever needs convincing, show them F Sharp. It's nearly impossible to stay in tune... Out of tune.
He's a musician first, comedian second. Which is honestly mind boggling given how funny he is
@@PhoenixsNetwork Mark Nopfler from Dire Straits taught himself guitar and didn't learn sheet music. Well that's what was said at the height of his fame anyway.
Genius comes in many forms. Tim just happens to be one of those forms.
He rants. I saw him on TV on quiz shows and thought he might be funny then saw his act and well without being Tim and ranting he gets a bee in his bonet and just rants and it's not funny
@@stevenhardwick9922 Ironic post....
Inb4 2cock2block comes and flings the bible at you
@@benderong4478 who?
He's the only person in the history of the world that makes beat poetry anything but an abortion of art.
It is unbelievable what he is doing with the piano... the tones match the discourse almost perfectly
What has to be tracked here to do this rhythmically, I can't make sense of a human that can do this but there he is.
Breathing/lyric expression is what I would follow to attempt this sort of thing.
im keen to know where it didnt quite hit the mark...cos you said it was 'almost' perfect...time stamp perhaps?
Yea didn't they make a computer piano that imitated voice sounds?
yes !! if he keeps practising maybe one day he'll be as good as....
Tim being able to deliver a contextually appropriate slur is a testament to his finesse and skill.
It's not just the comedy, nor the musicianship, nor the look, it's the whole package of brilliance, that's genius. Seeing him live is on my bucket list, right after survival.
I recommend it.
Agreed. Got a ticket to his show on Feb 3, 2021 since his 2020 tour was postponed. So excited!
I saw him in Perth last year it was amazing
Yeah when I first watched Tim Minchin the first thing that hit me was the intelligence of his comedy and the next thing to hit me was his brilliance of musicianship and technique.
Ha ha. Let me know when you are able to check that survival item off the list
Legend says that the camera man insisted on zooming further and further into Tim's face 'till the point where nothing else mattered.
entranced by his eyes, as we all are sometimes.
a little eyeliner goes a long way, don't matter if you are a man.
Tim is a genre all to himself. We're lucky that he also happens to be very good at it.
See also: Tom Lehrer
@@patheddles4004 I'll second that.
Everyone has a genius; finding it is rare. Having a genius that is marketable; finding that is rarer.
Yes - most of us are useless😅
Tim's hair is my spirit animal.
It really is an animal
It's a perm! Well, reverse perm, he's got really curly hair!
That gynaecologist one is the best joke i’ve ever heard
@@Thomas-nc9fz it is like anime, sometimes there is a joke that cant be translated, and instead is replaced, but with unnoficial subs they leave the joke and add a text on top, or sometimes at the beggining of the episode explaining the joke, and when you see a similar joke later you laugh because you now have the context required, they also do that in between manga panels, one piece would be less funny without people explaining the puns that Oda uses
Elton John isn't an exceptionality good piano player, every person who's had piano lessons for some time can play his songs. He is a great songwriter and performer, though.
Sorry, guys.
6:26 That "Tim" reverberated within my soul
The moment he paused after saying Elton John I got an ad... the Snickers ad with Elton John in it. I'm shocked.
This guy is different. Funny and musical. Best of all, he's got the smokey eye down pat! What a package!
Yea Tim is great! But he's athiest, so naive/ignorant people think he's evil.
@@Jett-King ironic really isn't it?
@@w8m4n yea people don't understand the definition of athiesm. Normally athiests are the best people of all.
@@Jett-King yeah as there is never normally an agenda with atheists.
@@w8m4n what do you mean by "agenda" ? Do you even know?
You mean they have a plan? Everyone on Earth has an "agenda". What a stupid word to get upset about.
"Oh no, someone has an 'agenda' that differs from mine!"
He has such a light behind his eyes, he looks young, but he’s in his forties. And on top of all that he’s charming, an amazing musician, and a bashful genius in many respects. I love him
47 yup
Well to be fair - this clip is from 2008. And he is still amazing... at any age!
Me too. Lol
I struggle to even say a single word to someone when I'm playing the piano so seeing Tim be able to do this is very humbling 😂
Nothing ever compares to the first time you listen to one of Tim's songs.
Inflatable You was my first Tim exposure.
this is Tim at his best, I love everything he's done but this is a masterpiece
surprising choice, I am glad he has gone to music though, comedy and music are a wonderful but explosive and unstable combination
I play piano and trombone. The two most phallic sounding instruments of all.
His eyes color is beautiful!
I drown in his eyes!
His teeth are perfect too. He’s just so incredibly hot all around.
I am tempted to say that he's incredibly talented, but this would not be fair towards the countless hours he must have spent singing and playing and reading.
A legend, always has been, always will be, we love you Jim…er…Tim.
Every word that the broker say, Tim gives it a high note accent.. Amazing
Davor Bertovic that’s also characteristic of an Australian accent which is part of it
I absolutely do not regret giving up the piano. I'm glad Tim didn't, though!
@OnlyRusseLLHD It still can be. What's stopping you from picking it back up again other than your attitude?
@OnlyRusseLLHD I'm sorry to hear that. I encourage you to try your best though, you got this!
If I remember correctly, there's a video of Tim saying he gave up learning the piano at a music school, but just before he left his teacher showed him a cool trick that helped Tim a lot after, as he's not a fan of reading sheet music.
Blimey! That is beyond genius!!! He can recite all that AND play the piano at the same time (musician thing). Awesome lines, too... 😲
the piano playing kind of reminds me of those "hearing lyrics where there are none" midi tracks
Some people can play piano
Some people can write poetry
Some people can perform comedy
How the HELL does he do all three at the SAME TIME?
Some people can play guitar
Some people can write songs
Some people can Act
Some people can Direct
He doesn't play piano and write at the same time tho does'e?
@@jakobvanklinken Yeah...
@@jakobvanklinken I wouldn't be surprised if he could!
Bo?
His brain never tired working all things simultaneously ... The Amazing Tim Minchin!!
I need to this in Dr Seuss format. All Tim’s work should be released as Dr Seuss books.
if you haven't already, you should check out another one of his pieces like this, called "Storm" which is also very Seuss-esq
Storm can be purchased in dr. seuss-esque book form.
no, he would just be another cancled seuss book then... thank god tim is still alive to fight that nonsence
@@mdh6977 Which of the books that the Seuss publishers decided to remove was your favorite?
@@bonniea8189 its been almost 20 yrs since i read them to the kids and twice as long since i had them read to me, but i remember green eggs and the lorax the most
This is comic genius! So cutting and musically brilliant.
Tim Minchin, the king of musical comedy. Love his stuff always and forever.
Tim: I dont call myself a sanger ...
Everyone not from Australia: Yes you do!
Broker www.etymonline.com/word/broker mid-14c. (mid-13c. in surnames), "commercial agent, factor," also "an agent in sordid business," from Anglo-French brocour "small trader," from abrokur "retailer of wine, tapster;" perhaps from Portuguese alborcar "barter," but more likely from Old French brocheor, from brochier "to broach, tap, pierce (a keg)," from broche (Old North French broke, broque) "pointed tool" (see broach (n.)), with an original sense of "wine dealer," hence "retailer, middleman, agent." In Middle English, used contemptuously of peddlers and pimps, "one who buys and sells public office" (late 14c. in Anglo-French), "intermediary in love or marriage" (late 14c.).
@Joshua B I realize he is a comedian. However, I have always wondered about the etymology of the word "broker" and never before bothered to look it up.
Now I have. Enjoy.
@@pirbird14 Nothing quite like seeking advice from a brokerage trying to sell you the latest product sold by the banks.
@Joshua B I'm also sure he does know, but somehow I think he's missed that for pedantry to be funny, it either has to be valid argument or so ridiculous an argument that it slaps you with parody. But this is a great example of where making fun of pedantry just sounds like actual pedantry (based on a misunderstanding of how etymology works).
Much like every person who makes a joke or bit out of people using the word irony/ironic wrong, to the point where they're literally ignoring that there are about half a dozen different types of irony, and so they dismiss one or two valid examples and just end up look like a tit. :)
Though I will say, if there's someone who rarely makes this particular mistake, it's certainly Tim Minchin. The dude rival's even Carlin in his linguistic prowess - and I consider myself raised in the Carlin School of Language, so that's not a compliment I would ever give lightly.
So, he’s a a small protected structure used for observing or firing from?
Not too often, someone get's through to me with something I can listen to again and again. Or rather, I have to, because so much is going on!
Tim Minchin is worth a mention, as they say in New Zealand. This man is quite something else! I did not know this was possible! He plays jazz piano, including solos, while reciting a poem in pure actor style. I would have to be three people to do that: A bass player, a pianist, and myself. And perhaps a fourth person to write this amazing 'round of information'...
He is actually Australian, but close
Now I see why this guy is so popular... Hadn't seen anyhting extended or musical from him but, talent and creativity he has without doubt.
I recently had to read the first third of this poem (I somehow sight read it) for an audition for a university play (the style of both play and song were similar), and my god, this hooked me onto Tim Minchin for life. Odd audition, wonderful man.
Genius comes in many forms. And not only Tim but the guy behind the Cameras it's one of them
This guy is pure genius.
Love love love Tim Minchin.
More men should wear eye makeup, Tim looks beautiful
Agree it really suits him.
doesn't work for everyone thats for sure haha
Only on stage though, otherwise it's a bit WoolyWoofter. Theatrical's fine.
He looks like a chick who doesnt know how to dress butch.
@@kristinburton4953 Why only onstage, though?
Just love this very talented man the world is the richer for having him.❤️❤️🎶🎶💯💯
That was pure genius and virtuosity. What a machine.
Can we give a shout out to whoever directed the camera work here too? Like, doing the conversation at the start by cutting between two shots as if they were two people, or showing the fingers on the keys at just the right moments. The visuals match the energy of the performance.
Love this song every time I hear it..
Saw Tim live in Melbourne in 2009 (met and spoke to him after the show too) and again in 2010.. A marvelous entertainer, and truly gifted pianist.
I hope you're not a stock broker.
And what instrument did you have a bad breakup with?
@@andrewbloom7694 Bit late to the party Andrew..
@@GenoLoma 2 years? Many videos have comment threads that last longer than that
I had never heard of Tim Minchin until he guest starred in Californication season 6.
Mitsubishi Colt........ absolute genius!
This is the second or third video clip I have seen of him outside of Californication.
What a talent!
Same, he was great on Californication 😊
Wow.
First time I've seen something from Tim and straight away hooked.
What a legend!
something that i saw the other day that is very true -- money isnt the most important thing but it affects everything that is important
I had a 1991 Mitsubishi Colt, too! Maybe one day I will be as good as Tim Minchin.
Surname Minchin , first name Tim , no star shines as bright as him. 🌟 Amazing mate !!
1. Absolute genius.
2. Wtf would UA-cam put adverts in the middle of a song?!
Honestly….if you really stop and think…..that was borderline genius
The man is a genius!
Hey how are you??
This one's called Mitsubishi Colt.
zerosonico Definitely one of my favourites of his.
Yeah, I don't like that the video title gave away the punchline.
I was gonna say
@@froggydoodle808 ...the...punch...line. I see what you did there. Shame. Shame. *Dramatic fingerpoint* SHAAAAME!
The man is a genius...Really!
there are so many wonderful things I could say about Tim Minchin but my brain is stuck repeating "A SHOEHORN?!"
He doesn't look like he's even concentrating on the piano part.
Such a clever wit and amazing musical talent…I would love to see him live!
Gave me hope today Timo 😅I shan't say that again, your name I mean, that way, that is... ❤love from Cape Town 🇿🇦
I love this so much. It goes from a rant about how money isn't everything and a snark comment...to Elton John's only song he ever wrote by himself which is just "Life isn't everything" over and over.
I feel your pain, Tim and I love that you perform with no shoes. Shoes : Never could stand them, myself. ☺
Hey how are you?
love love him, I saw him first looking for Jesus Christ Super Star songs and found this guy.. had no idea of his other talents till now
Your hands appear to have a stream of consciousness of their own!
Hey how are you?
Still can't decide what the best beat poem is, this or Storm. They're both just so clever, funny and executed.
Can I like it again? What a legend.
One of the best I have ever seen. You know you're good, I hope those that should, see it. Cheers Tim.
I've been a fan for year and it just hit me he has the bluest blue eyes I've ever seen also nice eye makeup
totally amazing artist....never ceases to amaze me with his talent!! go Tim!
"I wish I stuck with it" are six words you'll here from others in conversations all the time as a musician
Bravo!!! My first car was a Colt. My dad bought his Colt for only $3,000.00 and the salesman was fired the next day. His was a '75 Colt, mine was '72. It's been a running joke in my family since 1975, and now it's a beautifully funny song with a completely different background. Thanks Jim, I mean...Tim!
There is a reason Tim titled this Mitsubishi Colt. You're kinda giving away the punchline in the title...
But it's not really much of a punchline. It's more of an amen
Elton John isn't the "punchline" that's just part of the set up. The actual punchline is the pause before Tim describes the rest of his evening.
Haha....punchline.....punny
@@richiejohnson thats the joke
I would absolutely love to see the sheet music for a lot of his songs, and this one is up on the top of my wish list.
Love Tim Minchin. Saw him live at the Hay Festival many years ago.
Love you Jim 😂. What a bloody legend and national treasure
*TIM*
Wow oh wow what a spectacular performance. Love love love Tim Minchin
An absolutely unique performance 👍🏼
I'm a freelance writer, and I tended bar over the summer for some extra money for travel. This conversation is very accurate. That growl at 6:26 sums it up perfectly.
Hilarious 😂 gifted genius. A rare talent. A pleasure to meet you.
I know that Tim is an unbelievably great musician, but we shouldn’t downplay how great Elton John is. He’s a fantastic pianist , a true prodigy.
but can he also act, direct, and do comedy?
He may be a prodigy, but calling him a fantastic pianist is like calling Einstein a fantastic body builder
He is a musician, magician ✨⚡️✨
Watching it for the second time now ... just as brilliant...
The car maketh the man Jim - and you are The Man. Just beautiful and clever. ("Clothes maketh man")
Just when I thought he couldn't get any better
Hilarious and talented beyond measure. But I figure he's worth a couple 10's of millions himself. ;)
The best part is the end. The guy is like "one day you can be really good" meanwhile Tim can already play as well as Elton John and can probably play every song if he wanted.
That’s not just comedy, (like the channel says) , it’s freaking genius!
I nearly choked on the croissant I was eating in the first 2 minutes. Hahaha.
Tim may not call himself a "sanger" but he sure can saang!
*did sang
*has sang
@Bloopy Bloop I sing for a living and I think Tim has a fantastic voice. Exactly what is needed for the song. I know he doesn't really classify himself as a singer but I love his voice.
I can't tell which joke about "sangers" the commenters on this thread understood least, the OP's or Tim's.
I’ve not seen this before. Thanks!
Genius, like a man w/ a paper fetish at the DMV, does come in many forms. One of which has a frozen detonation of 80s metal hair framing twin tragedies in black... all above the sharpest tongue to ever glaze over a perfect punchline like it wasn’t even there... a genius, Mr. M...
...would have remembered how to spell your surname.
😂 unbelievable the stock broker 2:26 had me and then the whole roller-coaster came clicking thru.
I always think it's kind of funny, that, when I watch this video and the comment about the insturment that everyone has tucked away, I immediately think about Tim's series "Upright", where everyone who sees the piano comes up with a "I learned instrument xy when I was a child/long ago". I like eastereggs.
he’s rapping with his mouth and his fingers at the same time
I am I love with your voice!
Where has this been all my life?!?
Hey how are you?
right?
If someone says "money doesn't buy happiness" then they obviously don't understand that money isn't there to buy happiness. It is there as an artificial bartering tool to enable one to do more than just survive like a freaking wild animal on the street. For sure those who have billions of dollars obviously can't possibly use all that they have amassed and perhaps they shouldn't be so greedy and hellbent on making the government work specifically for them. However, if a homeless person finally had enough money to get a home, so they could sleep a full 8 hours in comparative security. If they have enough money to feed and clothe themselves. If they have enough money to pay for all their medical issues. If they had enough money to make sure they could be productive and actually keep a job. If they had enough money to maybe have a little fun now and again. Socrates can kiss my ass.
If they had enough money for a shower and a haircut, and some clothes, so they could go and be taken seriously if applying for a job...😥
@@MichaelBerthelsen - Have you ever been sleep deprived? Try sleeping on the streets...
@@cjandauntieyaya1446 Oh, it wasn't a criticism of your comment, merely an add-on, as most homeless 'just' need a break, a small help to get them back on their feet. A 'shower&shave' and some clothes so they can get a job would be a great start for many.
@@MichaelBerthelsen - Yeah, when I reread I figured as such. IMHO, just providing just studio apartment would help so many peeps to get back to work but GASP that's too much like Socialism!!!
money doesn;t buy happines. But if given a choice i'd cry in a mercedes than in a bus.
The stockbroker gag was much better than the insipid response from the audience suggested.
There are many better jazz/blues piano players or piano players in general, but to recite a poem this complicated, while maintaining a walking bass line in left hand and improvising in and out of free rhythm and harmony in his right hand...I haven't seen a skill like that even for some of the most virtuosic piano players out there.
Bloody genius !
This one moved me, truly.
Genius! Love your work, Tim!
Just brilliant...........but I guess you know that Tim!!! Cheers 🥰😍💕
Mitsubishi Colt is one of my favorite...*songs(?)* from Tim Minchin, hands down lmao
NGL, A Tim/Elton collab would be stunning!
The problem is Tim can run circles around Elton. He'd have to pull WAY back.