I kept a notebook throughout watching her series on processing emotions. I still look through it from time to time. It's wild to have evidence of how much better I feel now (and still be able to redo an exercise if the mood strikes me.)
Nothing matters really! It’s bigger than “work” or this “norms”, plus you can’t guarantee shit with all the talkings and “norms” or “laws” which’s all over the place and everywhere! It’s endless cycle of drama and bullshit!
@@osamaqtaitatdoes your exclamation marks indicate shouting or frustration? When I first visited my therapist one of my opening statemens was to describe how deeply angry I was... I can only say my life started changing for the better when I started learning new coping skills, incl. not creating drama, but recognising the triggers and responding in more approproate ways.
Dear Madam I am from remote village of Assam, a state of India. I am here to tell you that your videos helped me a lot to recognise and manage and overcome my prolong anxiety and depressional mindset. We low class indians do not have the social awareness about cognitive disillusiones or psychiatric problems. But my search and hope brought me to your channel and video by video a change began within me and now I much much better in thinking, feelings, and socializing. God almighty have given you everything, but please take my heartiest thanks for everything that your videos have given me. May god almighty fulfill all you dreams, hopes and give energy and time to continue your good work. My English is not good, so please excuse my mistakes. At last thank you thank you thank you...and love and regards. Take care, bye MUSADIQUE AHMED
Same here. Emma's videos have helped me deal with anxiety disorder. I recommend it to as many people connected to I. I'm planning on recommending her video to my church. I love you, Emma McAdam. Love from Nigeria. ❤
Your English is very, very good. May God continue to bless you with gratitude and the ability to express it! Congratulations on all that you have accomplished with your mental health🎉
Others don't feel better because you feel bad. They aren't thinking about you at all! Stewing on regret is self-punishment and cannot undo what's done.
My reality has shown that going noncontact is impossible bc my partner is best friends with my childhood bully. The talk almost every day and her narsastic ways bring my hubby down They always talk about my baby steps forward are a joke, and they both laugh that I found a church Even joking to ea other Hubby, I can feed her puppy to your dog, lol Narc He wouldn't even have to bite lol Both laugh Im trying to heal. I want this desperately but have nowhere else to live Any ideas? I have no peace, and they both steal my joy whenever theres a call
You can only do the very best with what you know in that moment. There is no benefit in judging yourself for something you had not learned yet. I live by these words and this has brought me much peace.
Great way to see it, it’s always easier to see it in hindsight but every missed opportunity present-me did not take a decade ago, past-me was never ever going to take any of them. I was in no way, shape or form in a situation to do better so I’d rather think that knowing I could now so better if I was magically sent back then is proof of growth, and not cause for regrets.
@matthewtikka5133 That’s so true I’ll remember that. However some of the things I ‘regret’ from the past was caused by me being too sensitive …something I still have a problems with now that I’m much older.
Just yesterday I was searching for "Therapy in a Nutshell Regret". I can't believe the timing of this. Thank you so much! As someone with no access, to therapy you are literally saving my life.
Thank you so much for making this video. I wasted my 20s being an internet troll in order to defend my favorite video game character’s honor who is constantly hated on. This character saved my life from childhood abuse and neglect. I wasted so much of my time arguing with people on the internet and I’m so ashamed and disgusted with myself. I’m now on a spiritual journey to figure out who I am and what to do with the rest of my life.
Hey, at least you’re pretty self-aware and wiser now!!! This could’ve been a permanent thing but you found a way to change course. The wasting in your 20s was from a place of just gratitude for having something to hold on to during difficult times. I hope as you move forward you realize that the wisdom to choose a better path was always in you and you learn to see the depth of your story instead of only labeling yourself as an internet troll. You are so much more, always have been, always will be. It doesn’t matter whether you believe me or not, it’s true
I'm deeply regretting the time I wasted and the opportunities I missed. I have adhd, ptsd and severe depression. I am wasting time today I know I'm going to regret this days as well. I wish I could remove this sickness like a coat.
I hope to encourage you to seek Jesus, you will find Him and His grace will empower you to put off the old and put on the new. He paid it all for you and me too, and I’m new because of Him so you can be too. 😊
Sounds like shame. There’s a guy who did a video, break free from the shame that binds you. Also, YAHUAH is a merciful Elohim. His son Yahusha died that if we walk after Him and follow His ways, He would heal us and renew us and give us rest.
_"Real forgiveness is a process of transforming something old into something new, something that was useless into something that is useful, something that is meaningless into something that is meaningful. Here your mistakes, instead of being a source of pain and inner discomfort for you, become a means of reaching other people, for everyone has made mistakes, and many people have made the same ones that you have."_ Living the Way of Knowledge, a free book by MV Summers.
I just lost my dad to stroke recently and i have massive regrets that i didnt do more or choose the correct steps while taking care of him, i miss my dad and i feel guilt. My head fill with it and i am not gonna lie i am considering to end my life because of this. I just want to be with him and taking care of him better, i have no one to talk to about this and no money to go to Profesional therapist, and now i found your video, i will try your advice now and i hope i can deal with my feelings and emotion, thank you for this video
i don't know why i was so blind to make such obvious mistakes. mistakes that hurt others and hurt myself. i feel like i started out a really sweet innocent person and then strayed off onto terrible paths, paths which lead to darkness not light. i couldn't be more sorry for my terrible mistakes but the memories hurt me always. i don't know why i got so lost. i feel like God has given up on me, i try to connect but feel so fragile and alone. i have so much love in my heart but so much pain too. i hope you're ok, whoever you are, and i hope someday we find a place where everyone is loved and understood
We're all on respective, unique life journeys where no one is exempt from making regrettable mistakes. Those "obvious mistakes" that you were so 'blind' to making can awaken you to enlightenment. There is power in knowing the pain that your mistakes caused because now you have the awareness and ability to do better. God never gives up on us. Keep seeking. Listen for a calm inner voice that speaks to you honestly but without judgement. It can also come in the form of conversing with people around you, witnessing an experience in front of you, and many more. Watch videos on rumination so you can more effectively cycle out of the negative thoughts you're experiencing. Sending love your way
@@Chichi2122 thankyou, and happy to say that i'm doing better now, i read the book 'the search for significance' which is Christian based ,and my thought process has improved now that i now strictly & firmly follow a rule that basically i answer to no one except God, which is pretty much the same as removing all judgement. it's amazing how things are working out much better since making this relatively small change. i feel like i have the right to just be a good person now because i now realise no human has any authority at all to judge me and i don't judge myself either because God says we must not do that, and i'm more than happy to trust that instruction because it clearly makes a huge difference to how i function
Wow I’m taking notes I guess the only thing I can do is work on regret instead of being defeated by it in the present. Seriously this is a new concept for me. I actually never knew I could do anything about regret. This is wisdom. Thank you.
I think of the past as the rear view mirror of my car. I can't look at it long and drive forward, without crashing...Don't fixate or constantly regurgitate on the past it messes up the present and future.
This video hits the nail on the head. I got remarried several years ago and it was abusive. It financially bankrupted me and also gave me depression and my mild anxiety became GAD. I mean debilitating anxiety. It interfered with my work etc. I have been filled with regrets about getting remarried, about letting her bankrupt me, even about my 26 year marriage eventually falling apart. Worst of all about this wonderful woman I had dated that I left for shallow reasons. I mean just a man of regrets. I am known for not following my therapists advice. I need to follow this. I just wish I could rewind the clock to Dec. 2019, which I know is impossible.
"A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials". -Ain't that true. We are all here to gain more awareness (ie consciousness) (=spiritual evolution). On a higher & more objective level it helps to view the people who come into our lives are "props" . They are means by which we gain awareness of things we didn't know before. I hope & pray you get epiphany to be able to move on & let go of the "mistakes" you made, after all without those you wouldn't have the awareness you have now. True or not?
It's about gaining self awareness and why we make the choices we make in general. Many are driven by unconscious needs, reasons ..eg that stem from early childhood even. EVERYBODY is on similar path. I do believe in reincarnation , and we take what we learned with us, so next time we come back the lessons are different. Ever spiralling towards perfection.
The real bottom line is things aren't going to work out for everyone. It's going to suck when that person is you. That's really it. As long as you have money, shelter, food you are ok if you don't things will suck worse. No doctor or book or anything will change that.
I was nearly 49 years of age when I started a Certificate 3 to work with Disability services. I have been working now in the industry for just over 3 years now, and I have not looked back. It's not a job to me. It's a career that I love and will do it for as long as I am able. Life is great.
Wonderful perspective. I am coming out of a long period of regret for a lost life due to cPTSD. My skills are becoming honed and very effective. One difficult aspect has been that of overwhelm...it seemed for a time that all of my past 'lacks' got piled together with all current (and perhaps future) tasks. Now I see the way forward more clearly, as a job to be done in the now. I used to think of tasks as vertical, like stacks of paper, and now I see tasks as a path of stepping stones. Decades of anxiety and pressure and depression are finally being set to rest. It all almost broke me. It feels so refreshing to be setting myself free. Best to you in the New Year - always a good opportunity to begin again.
A while back, you set me on a path to healing, real healing, and ive been running with it since, building and learning! Thank you so much for doing this, and for being a healer. You are definitely in the right line of work!
This was so timely. Thank you! I developed an eating disorder when I was sixteen and now I’m about to turn thirty-three. It’s not like I completely lost the past seventeen years to anxiety, food obsession etc. but I’ve lost a lot of that time, and it’s only got worse as the years pass. Even this year I stayed in my room while the family were downstairs celebrating Christmas… There are so many experiences I haven’t had, skills I haven’t developed, and character I haven’t built that it’s a bit overwhelming. What you say is a really good reminder and I so appreciate it 🙏💗😊
I have a lot of shame that I'm slowly getting over and trying to forget about. Therapy could definitely help, but advice on writing your feelings and goals down is very important. I recently drove from NJ to WA to be closer to a brother I haven't seen since 2014. It took a while to prepare and get the courage to just go. It was quite a fantastic journey just being by myself and seeing new landscapes.
I let everything go, thinking of death and seeing people i love pass away. I don’t give a shit about the past because soon I will join them and I feel I don’t have time to waste my time with regret. Now Every day is a new beginning .
Wow. Ive been dealibg with all the negatives in this video( regret,shame etc) and have been praying my heart out on how to deal with it all. God sent me here. Thank you.
Really helpful, thank you. I often struggle with the actionphase. I see what I regret and what I actually want and value, but I often slip back to habitual behaviour that isnt going in the direction that I want.
Hey emma! Thanks a ton!! Thanks for everything!! Your channel has answers so many questions, unblocked so many mental blocks, untangled so many messed up thoughts. Thanks a lot!!
Aquí tienes la corrección: I always wanted to pursue a career at the university, but I couldn't face my fears, and I lacked the humility to accept some vulnerabilities. Now I'm 48, and I'm starting a career in computer science. It's hard, but I will make it! I feel better about myself for making this decision. Thanks a lot for this video, Emma. I will take your recommendations from this video to overcome some other regrets.
This lady knows what she is talking about. It only took 4 seconds into the video to realize that. I have been in counseling and therapy for the last 19 years, so I know a thing or two about this. Thank you for helping.
You are a god send. I just realized all these years of watching therapy videos or attending therapy videos that I needed to take action. You are amazing ❤❤❤
I just did this exercise and wow, I feel a whole lot better. I just wanted to thank you for this, I have been ruminating on the past for (10+) years not knowing how to heal. Listening to this video felt like a sponge taking away all the yuck in my heart - there's still a lot to work on but it certainly helps :)
exactly where i am, in youth or not knowing better, we've all done things we regret, how do we forgive ourselves for that, joyce meyer said something like forgiving means not thinking about it, i kind of came to the conclusion that I shouldn't keep punishing myself by remembering the things i did wrong. I'm tired of wrestling with it or reasoning with myself about why it's ok to have made a mistake, it doesn't make me feel better.
I’m struggling with regret from the past I love what you are saying this is a positive and courageous way of looking forward and not being stuck in the past
Sometimes it's so hard to think about the past that you just push it into the back of your mind and hope you forget. One thing that really breaks me inside is that I can't think about positive things in my past because I come back from them to my current life and I feel sad and more depressed. So both positive and negative thoughts make me depressed and all that's left is hopelessness. Another thing is that a lot of the times we regret things that aren't our fault, we blame ourselves that things worked out this way, I do that a lot.
You've nailed it for me - I've turned 40 this year and have no degree, which has been halting my passion for work in education projects for over 4 years now. And I'm now working on the way to achieve getting the education I need. Also, throwing away the hammer 🔨 was both hilarious 😂 and a very helpful explanation. I'm wishing you and your family a great new year!🎉
I'm from Newfoundland and have been having a return of my panic disorder after a year or so panic free. Your videos are helping immensely and I certainly hope you feel the light of all the souls you help across the world. ❤
Woke up feeling bad for snapping at old mom and saw this...God send is what you are. Will not toss the hammer..i.e. the unconscious me...but will learn how to hold it and appreciate its strength and power.😊
Thank you for this video. I really needed these kind of informations and the step by step guide. I felt so held back by my past my regrets and the things I felt shameful for. Thank you for your videos they really help many people all over the world. Thank you for a better 2024
How come your words make me always feel better more than psychotherapy does lol. You treat people as humans and everyone can relate even if they have different mental health issues going on. I always feel like there's hope and big things look so small once again. Thanks again, you're special ❤ "We can never truly connect with others if we're hiding parts of ourselves that we're ashamed of." I have quite strong abandonment issues and this sentence relieved me so much. I think it's perfect for BPD too as we're striving to deeply connect yet trying not to be abandoned in the process. This reminds me vulnerability and uncomfortable feelings are part of connection, that's the right path/way to make it work and if someone walks away it wasn't going to be a deep connection anyway.
Sometimes regret is because i misjudged the people in my life. These tips are pro life, and that’s good because you have to keep moving forward. But I am done with anyone who uses me and I will never get over wasting my life. Like a narcissist I will hang only with people who benefit me. Which means nobody and there I have no regrets anymore because I learned my lesson.
I’m 74 and have experience most of what you talk about I’m also someone who has studied myself for the last 40 years so when I say I loved you video I really mean it. Regret may be from the past but the feeling is in the present is a wonderful insight so thank you and I look forward to watch all your other video . ❤️❤️❤️❤️
If you’re scared to ask something or to disappoint someone my advice is do it now! I always tell myself it's better to disappoint in the beginning a person and they'll forget than after 20+ of loyal friendship. It's good that problems come up at the beginning and get sorted out.
This morning was awful for me. I was trying every technique I knew - mindfulness, breathing, etc. and I couldn't get out of my head. I went for a long walk and instead of feeling better, I had a panic attack. On the walk, I listed to this video which I incorporated into my-talk to calm down and get grounded again (in her voice, but my words - so it felt both authentic and authoritative!). Thank you for helping me get through a tough moment :)
Hi Emma!!! I haven't seen you come up in quite a while and I'm so happy to see you this gorgeous winter Sunday afternoon!!😊 I've been doing the work. And I feel great. It's taken me about 3 years to really get most cptsd symptoms under control and to really develop the metacognitive abilities that are necessary to exceed our current situation and really rise above, grow, in other words. Thank you for your part in my healing over these years. Thanks So Much to So many other truly giving and HELPFUL voices on You Tube. It is possible to get better just with You Tube, and God ( 'just'! Lol) and a burning NEED TO GET WELL. ❤ I'm going to watch your video right now. I love it so far. You wear that tool belt well!! Perhaps I'll send an edit after I watch it and thank you, but I'm sure it will be wonderful. God bless
I've been following you a long time and didn't realize you were local to me until I saw the intro to this video and recognized the background :) love those mountains.
Emma darling, You don't have any idea how much I love you and all the stuffs you have been equipping your fellow human being a Ross this planet earth. I really am really great full about every bit contributions in my life. May God bless you with a great healthy and peacefull life. Amen.
Love this video - I especially like when you said - 'if you hurt yourself with a hammer you don't throw the hammer away - you learn how to use it.' (Or words to that effect) Powerful. Thank you
I've written letters to myself from the person (s) I felt I never got closure or resolve with and my reply to acquire the closure of that energy drain... it's been very satisfying and effective!❤ Thank you!❤
Stumbled across this video by chance. I feel as though you know me and you’re addressing my regrets and giving me a way to stop beating myself up over past mistakes. As others have commented, we need to take action and use the information in this video. A wonderful video, thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Emma, I am so very thankful for these videos. I think this is so fantastic as a public service. I value rewarding people who contribute positively, if I knew an award to nominate you for, it would be. :) So many cannot afford quality services and this is a way to access care.
This video was really helpful I am going to carry on working on myself to show my children I am not the Me from 4 years ago and hopefully get more contact with them. I look back on last year as a year that I learned a lot. Starting with using a sewing machine which terrified me at first. I am now working on my maths skills. I didn't do well with it in school but now I have a chance to improve. Played a maths game before Christmas and I was terrified at first but as things went on my confidence grew. Bring on 2024.
I dont have enough energy to waste on regrets. I work on the assumption that i live each day to the best of my ability WITH THE RESOURCES I HAVE/HAD ON THAT DAY. II I had the wherewithal to act differently, i would have done it.
I'm about to do this exercise. Can I just say this video is the only video with a clear way to let go of the regrets of the past. Bless you for making it. ❤
What the heck is this a thing going from regret to okay what do I value…I love it exactly what I needed and was looking for goodness gracious thank you Emma you are a fantastic human bean and I love all the work that you do and hopefully are continue doing.
This Therapy In A Nutshell youtube is perfectly timed synchronistic timing because I confess that my main regrets are definitely around certain career, money and college/education action steps that I could have taken in the past. However I am glad that the youtube author bluntly shared examples from her own life and an example of a chart to utilize when processing regrets and transforming regrets into positive vehicles for change and what to keep in mind when eventually reaching out for professional support andor help (face to face therapy, counseling etc.). The college degree example that the youtube author utilizes in the youtube video is also helpful.
Your video was tremendously helpful. I'm glad you didn't make friends in high school. Look at you now: Best friends with people all over the world that you will never meet. Greetings from South Africa.
It can be very difficult to let go of the past. I've always struggled with that. I finally came to realize after reflecting on everything, there were things I had no control over so I had to accept that. Whatever you can change, do it. The best thing to do is to learn and grow from those experiences and make good out of them. Any problem you've had and found solutions to you know how to prevent those things, heal, and what to do in case of future problems. If it's a moral thing, you make amends and become a better person. You can help people who've been through the same things. If it's a failure, you can learn how to prevent it in the future, do things right, and solve any future issues with that.
I have watched several of your videos. I have not started the work yet, but I am very impressed with your knowledge and ability to relate your knowledge to people with varying backgrounds. I am even more impressed with your ability to teach. Great video!
I love your videos and how you share information! I recently recited that phrase about planting a tree! The years are gonna pass anyway and it is better to have a tree at the end of all those years.
You and the crappy childhood fairy have helped me. You have been played on my phone about anxiety coping and grounding and understand where I am coming from better. From all of us nutshell people.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Emma❤ I've just was doing the revision of my past and really regretted some of my choices and decisions, and your video brought me good vibes and I'm doing to do the work to help myself
Definitely one of the most helpful videos I've watched on the channel! The actionable steps and examples really clarify what I can do with my life, regrets, and values. Thank you!
It is amazing how much value I get from watching your videos! Pretty surprised, seeing as we have never met or anything. But your words ring so true. Thank you so much.
Having an internal focus of control is really key here. What can you change and what can’t you change? Get right with those things and use them as fuel to change your life. If you can’t change it….let it roll off like water off a ducks back. Because I promise you will see these things you cannot control over and over again. Let them go. Focus on not seeing what you CAN change ever again. And you’ve done it. People make mistakes man. It must happen to learn. Focus on those not happening again. The only thing guaranteed in life is that everything will change and you will make mistakes. Learn, move forward. Learn move forward, learn move forward.
Thank you Emma. I was dealing with regret a lot over the last few days. I did not use my degree like I would have liked. I was in Army ROTC in college, I had too many injuries to make it in. But I learned a lot that my classmates did not particularly planning and communication (I was also around a lot of senior military officers and NCOs and they taught me a ton of things). Recently I told my boss I could work Saturdays. I regretted it immediately. I sent my boss an email this evening saying that I could do this Saturday but not again. I thought about explaining myself but did not as I did not want it coming back on me. I should have just said that I cannot work on Saturdays the first time.
I’ve been through a lot the last few years. Divorce, girl friend, living in a big city, etc. my world has been devastated since my mother passed away almost 4 years ago. Now I bought a piece of property a little over 70 miles from the city and will be living in a farming district. I will not have another relationship, but will work the land until satisfied and maybe do a little traveling!!
Wow. Sure do wish I had learned these skillslike 34 years ago. I realize that I have alot of cognitive distortions. Currently going through a divorce from a 32 year marriage and these skills sure would have helped us alot. So grateful that I'm learning these skills now. ❤
Improve your mental health with the free course, courses.therapyinanutshell.com/grounding-skills-for-anxiety-stress-and-ptsd
Pro tip: dont just watch video & feel good for a moment. Do the work, do the exercises she recommends. It really helps.
😊 exactly what I’m telling myself as I take notes. These are powerful steps to take if one stands a chance of success.
I kept a notebook throughout watching her series on processing emotions. I still look through it from time to time. It's wild to have evidence of how much better I feel now (and still be able to redo an exercise if the mood strikes me.)
Nothing matters really! It’s bigger than “work” or this “norms”, plus you can’t guarantee shit with all the talkings and “norms” or “laws” which’s all over the place and everywhere! It’s endless cycle of drama and bullshit!
@@osamaqtaitatdoes your exclamation marks indicate shouting or frustration? When I first visited my therapist one of my opening statemens was to describe how deeply angry I was... I can only say my life started changing for the better when I started learning new coping skills, incl. not creating drama, but recognising the triggers and responding in more approproate ways.
I can’t even continue watching without regretting 😖😫
1) Get super clear about what the regret is
2) Get super clear about what you value
3) Take action in the present moment
@RepentandbelieveinJesusChrist_what a bunch of B.S.
you have become my new therapist
i have ocd what should i do i cant get rid of past and it haunts me
Well said
Thanks!!
Dear Madam
I am from remote village of Assam, a state of India. I am here to tell you that your videos helped me a lot to recognise and manage and overcome my prolong anxiety and depressional mindset. We low class indians do not have the social awareness about cognitive disillusiones or psychiatric problems. But my search and hope brought me to your channel and video by video a change began within me and now I much much better in thinking, feelings, and socializing. God almighty have given you everything, but please take my heartiest thanks for everything that your videos have given me. May god almighty fulfill all you dreams, hopes and give energy and time to continue your good work. My English is not good, so please excuse my mistakes. At last thank you thank you thank you...and love and regards. Take care, bye
MUSADIQUE AHMED
Good luck Ahmed on your life journey. Have a good life.
Same here. Emma's videos have helped me deal with anxiety disorder. I recommend it to as many people connected to I. I'm planning on recommending her video to my church.
I love you, Emma McAdam. Love from Nigeria. ❤
This is a beautiful thank you. And your English is very good.
This message itself gives me hope. I'm so glad you are getting the help from these great videos and best of luck to you! Thank you for sharing!
Your English is very, very good. May God continue to bless you with gratitude and the ability to express it! Congratulations on all that you have accomplished with your mental health🎉
No amount of regret can change the past and no amount of anxiety can change the future!!!! Done.
I keep trying to tell my panic attacks that ♡♡
Period.
And that’s the issue
Your comment was better than the video thanks.
Your anxiety might change your future actions actually…
Others don't feel better because you feel bad. They aren't thinking about you at all! Stewing on regret is self-punishment and cannot undo what's done.
very helpful comment
Hard to hear sometimes but it’s the absolute truth! Thank you!
My reality has shown that going noncontact is impossible bc my partner is best friends with my childhood bully.
The talk almost every day and her narsastic ways bring my hubby down
They always talk about my baby steps forward are a joke, and they both laugh that I found a church
Even joking to ea other
Hubby, I can feed her puppy to your dog, lol
Narc He wouldn't even have to bite lol
Both laugh
Im trying to heal. I want this desperately but have nowhere else to live
Any ideas?
I have no peace, and they both steal my joy whenever theres a call
@@Adecia-v8j it sounds like your husband is a bit of a bully as well. I'm so sorry 😢
You deserve respect
So true❤
You can only do the very best with what you know in that moment. There is no benefit in judging yourself for something you had not learned yet.
I live by these words and this has brought me much peace.
That’s beautiful
I ❤ that. Thank you.
Great way to see it, it’s always easier to see it in hindsight but every missed opportunity present-me did not take a decade ago, past-me was never ever going to take any of them.
I was in no way, shape or form in a situation to do better so I’d rather think that knowing I could now so better if I was magically sent back then is proof of growth, and not cause for regrets.
Yes thats true
@matthewtikka5133 That’s so true I’ll remember that. However some of the things I ‘regret’ from the past was caused by me being too sensitive …something I still have a problems with now that I’m much older.
Just yesterday I was searching for "Therapy in a Nutshell Regret". I can't believe the timing of this. Thank you so much! As someone with no access, to therapy you are literally saving my life.
Me.tooo.?
Thank you so much for making this video. I wasted my 20s being an internet troll in order to defend my favorite video game character’s honor who is constantly hated on. This character saved my life from childhood abuse and neglect. I wasted so much of my time arguing with people on the internet and I’m so ashamed and disgusted with myself. I’m now on a spiritual journey to figure out who I am and what to do with the rest of my life.
Just feel into being alive each day. And THEN it comes more naturally without forcing oneself to become something. We are already.
@@annelbeab8124 Thank you, I will do my best.
@@annelbeab8124 Thank you, I will try.
Hey, at least you’re pretty self-aware and wiser now!!! This could’ve been a permanent thing but you found a way to change course. The wasting in your 20s was from a place of just gratitude for having something to hold on to during difficult times. I hope as you move forward you realize that the wisdom to choose a better path was always in you and you learn to see the depth of your story instead of only labeling yourself as an internet troll. You are so much more, always have been, always will be. It doesn’t matter whether you believe me or not, it’s true
@@ABB14-11 Thank you so much, I really needed to hear that. If this was real life and not the internet, I'd give you a hug. ^_^
It sucks when the regret is something you can’t change
1) Get super clear about what the regret is
2) Get super clear about what you value
3) Take action in the present moment
Dealing with regret is something I've been working on for more than a year now. Thank you for this video.
Small decisions, omissions, and other things I could have done if I wasn't too afraid.@@Hellocali1
I'm deeply regretting the time I wasted and the opportunities I missed. I have adhd, ptsd and severe depression. I am wasting time today I know I'm going to regret this days as well. I wish I could remove this sickness like a coat.
I’m so grateful to know that I’m not alone in these feelings. I wish you the very best in your future endeavors❤️🙏🏼❤️
I so feel the same
I hope to encourage you to seek Jesus, you will find Him and His grace will empower you to put off the old and put on the new. He paid it all for you and me too, and I’m new because of Him so you can be too. 😊
Sounds like shame.
There’s a guy who did a video, break free from the shame that binds you.
Also, YAHUAH is a merciful Elohim. His son Yahusha died that if we walk after Him and follow His ways, He would heal us and renew us and give us rest.
Wait-are you me?
Re. the transcendent: I love Jesus too. He’s the reason I’m not dead. But I def have work to do.
_"Real forgiveness is a process of transforming something old into something new, something that was useless into something that is useful, something that is meaningless into something that is meaningful. Here your mistakes, instead of being a source of pain and inner discomfort for you, become a means of reaching other people, for everyone has made mistakes, and many people have made the same ones that you have."_
Living the Way of Knowledge, a free book by MV Summers.
I just lost my dad to stroke recently and i have massive regrets that i didnt do more or choose the correct steps while taking care of him, i miss my dad and i feel guilt. My head fill with it and i am not gonna lie i am considering to end my life because of this. I just want to be with him and taking care of him better, i have no one to talk to about this and no money to go to Profesional therapist, and now i found your video, i will try your advice now and i hope i can deal with my feelings and emotion, thank you for this video
Im so tired of living in the past. It makes me so depressed.
Worrying about the future is the real bummer. Bleak.
Well, what are you gonna do about it? Every moment is a fresh start, not ever hour or every day, but every second. You can choose again.❤
I do have regrets. It Hurts so Bad!! 💔
@@elainegoliszeski276 everybody does, what, you expect you're going to live your whole lifetime with no regrets? That's a lifetime lived in fantasy.
Same 😭
i don't know why i was so blind to make such obvious mistakes. mistakes that hurt others and hurt myself. i feel like i started out a really sweet innocent person and then strayed off onto terrible paths, paths which lead to darkness not light. i couldn't be more sorry for my terrible mistakes but the memories hurt me always. i don't know why i got so lost. i feel like God has given up on me, i try to connect but feel so fragile and alone. i have so much love in my heart but so much pain too. i hope you're ok, whoever you are, and i hope someday we find a place where everyone is loved and understood
We're all on respective, unique life journeys where no one is exempt from making regrettable mistakes. Those "obvious mistakes" that you were so 'blind' to making can awaken you to enlightenment. There is power in knowing the pain that your mistakes caused because now you have the awareness and ability to do better. God never gives up on us. Keep seeking. Listen for a calm inner voice that speaks to you honestly but without judgement. It can also come in the form of conversing with people around you, witnessing an experience in front of you, and many more. Watch videos on rumination so you can more effectively cycle out of the negative thoughts you're experiencing. Sending love your way
@@Chichi2122 thankyou, and happy to say that i'm doing better now, i read the book 'the search for significance' which is Christian based ,and my thought process has improved now that i now strictly & firmly follow a rule that basically i answer to no one except God, which is pretty much the same as removing all judgement. it's amazing how things are working out much better since making this relatively small change. i feel like i have the right to just be a good person now because i now realise no human has any authority at all to judge me and i don't judge myself either because God says we must not do that, and i'm more than happy to trust that instruction because it clearly makes a huge difference to how i function
@@Chichi2122 thanks and much love to you, . .you're the best ❤
God will never give up on you
@@Vxruxxss thanks x I have turned to God and i must admit things have improved
Wow I’m taking notes
I guess the only thing I can do is work on regret instead of being defeated by it in the present. Seriously this is a new concept for me. I actually never knew I could do anything about regret. This is wisdom. Thank you.
I think of the past as the rear view mirror of my car. I can't look at it long and drive forward, without crashing...Don't fixate or constantly regurgitate on the past it messes up the present and future.
This is awesome! Thank you.
This channel has helped me so much more than the “therapist” I went to for a month and paid $150 per session
This video hits the nail on the head. I got remarried several years ago and it was abusive. It financially bankrupted me and also gave me depression and my mild anxiety became GAD. I mean debilitating anxiety. It interfered with my work etc. I have been filled with regrets about getting remarried, about letting her bankrupt me, even about my 26 year marriage eventually falling apart. Worst of all about this wonderful woman I had dated that I left for shallow reasons. I mean just a man of regrets.
I am known for not following my therapists advice. I need to follow this. I just wish I could rewind the clock to Dec. 2019, which I know is impossible.
"A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials". -Ain't that true.
We are all here to gain more awareness (ie consciousness) (=spiritual evolution). On a higher & more objective level it helps to view the people who come into our lives are "props" . They are means by which we gain awareness of things we didn't know before. I hope & pray you get epiphany to be able to move on & let go of the "mistakes" you made, after all without those you wouldn't have the awareness you have now. True or not?
It's about gaining self awareness and why we make the choices we make in general. Many are driven by unconscious needs, reasons ..eg that stem from early childhood even. EVERYBODY is on similar path. I do believe in reincarnation , and we take what we learned with us, so next time we come back the lessons are different. Ever spiralling towards perfection.
The real bottom line is things aren't going to work out for everyone. It's going to suck when that person is you. That's really it. As long as you have money, shelter, food you are ok if you don't things will suck worse. No doctor or book or anything will change that.
I have been torturing myself with regret lately and was lost about how to stop it. Thank you for the actionable steps.
I was nearly 49 years of age when I started a Certificate 3 to work with Disability services. I have been working now in the industry for just over 3 years now, and I have not looked back. It's not a job to me. It's a career that I love and will do it for as long as I am able. Life is great.
Wonderful perspective. I am coming out of a long period of regret for a lost life due to cPTSD. My skills are becoming honed and very effective. One difficult aspect has been that of overwhelm...it seemed for a time that all of my past 'lacks' got piled together with all current (and perhaps future) tasks. Now I see the way forward more clearly, as a job to be done in the now. I used to think of tasks as vertical, like stacks of paper, and now I see tasks as a path of stepping stones. Decades of anxiety and pressure and depression are finally being set to rest. It all almost broke me. It feels so refreshing to be setting myself free. Best to you in the New Year - always a good opportunity to begin again.
This❣️❣️❣️💯💯💯
A while back, you set me on a path to healing, real healing, and ive been running with it since, building and learning! Thank you so much for doing this, and for being a healer. You are definitely in the right line of work!
She is healing her own self. In that process, she is also helping a great many other people
This was so timely. Thank you! I developed an eating disorder when I was sixteen and now I’m about to turn thirty-three. It’s not like I completely lost the past seventeen years to anxiety, food obsession etc. but I’ve lost a lot of that time, and it’s only got worse as the years pass. Even this year I stayed in my room while the family were downstairs celebrating Christmas… There are so many experiences I haven’t had, skills I haven’t developed, and character I haven’t built that it’s a bit overwhelming. What you say is a really good reminder and I so appreciate it 🙏💗😊
I have a lot of shame that I'm slowly getting over and trying to forget about. Therapy could definitely help, but advice on writing your feelings and goals down is very important. I recently drove from NJ to WA to be closer to a brother I haven't seen since 2014. It took a while to prepare and get the courage to just go. It was quite a fantastic journey just being by myself and seeing new landscapes.
Your comment gives me courage that I can do the same - there are many in my life I need to reconnect with💙
Congratulations on facing your new life and taking chances for new beginnings!!! What an inspiration you are!!! Thank you 🙏🏼
I let everything go, thinking of death and seeing people i love pass away. I don’t give a shit about the past because soon I will join them and I feel I don’t have time to waste my time with regret. Now Every day is a new beginning .
Join islam
Wow. Ive been dealibg with all the negatives in this video( regret,shame etc) and have been praying my heart out on how to deal with it all. God sent me here. Thank you.
Really helpful, thank you.
I often struggle with the actionphase. I see what I regret and what I actually want and value, but I often slip back to habitual behaviour that isnt going in the direction that I want.
I have the same struggle.. I wish you're doing well 🥹
I love this woman, may she receive her flowers
Hey emma! Thanks a ton!! Thanks for everything!! Your channel has answers so many questions, unblocked so many mental blocks, untangled so many messed up thoughts. Thanks a lot!!
Dwelling on regrets is easier than changing the present!...wow!
Aquí tienes la corrección:
I always wanted to pursue a career at the university, but I couldn't face my fears, and I lacked the humility to accept some vulnerabilities. Now I'm 48, and I'm starting a career in computer science. It's hard, but I will make it! I feel better about myself for making this decision. Thanks a lot for this video, Emma. I will take your recommendations from this video to overcome some other regrets.
“I lacked the humility to accept some vulnerabilities” wow… that really spoke to me.
This lady knows what she is talking about. It only took 4 seconds into the video to realize that. I have been in counseling and therapy for the last 19 years, so I know a thing or two about this. Thank you for helping.
You are a god send. I just realized all these years of watching therapy videos or attending therapy videos that I needed to take action. You are amazing ❤❤❤
I just did this exercise and wow, I feel a whole lot better. I just wanted to thank you for this, I have been ruminating on the past for (10+) years not knowing how to heal. Listening to this video felt like a sponge taking away all the yuck in my heart - there's still a lot to work on but it certainly helps :)
exactly where i am, in youth or not knowing better, we've all done things we regret, how do we forgive ourselves for that, joyce meyer said something like forgiving means not thinking about it, i kind of came to the conclusion that I shouldn't keep punishing myself by remembering the things i did wrong. I'm tired of wrestling with it or reasoning with myself about why it's ok to have made a mistake, it doesn't make me feel better.
I’m struggling with regret from the past I love what you are saying this is a positive and courageous way of looking forward and not being stuck in the past
Sometimes it's so hard to think about the past that you just push it into the back of your mind and hope you forget. One thing that really breaks me inside is that I can't think about positive things in my past because I come back from them to my current life and I feel sad and more depressed. So both positive and negative thoughts make me depressed and all that's left is hopelessness. Another thing is that a lot of the times we regret things that aren't our fault, we blame ourselves that things worked out this way, I do that a lot.
I know how you feel.😔
You've nailed it for me - I've turned 40 this year and have no degree, which has been halting my passion for work in education projects for over 4 years now. And I'm now working on the way to achieve getting the education I need. Also, throwing away the hammer 🔨 was both hilarious 😂 and a very helpful explanation. I'm wishing you and your family a great new year!🎉
I'm from Newfoundland and have been having a return of my panic disorder after a year or so panic free. Your videos are helping immensely and I certainly hope you feel the light of all the souls you help across the world. ❤
YOU CERTAINLY ARE A GOOD MOTHER AND TEACHER.
I learnt a lot here too
Woke up feeling bad for snapping at old mom and saw this...God send is what you are. Will not toss the hammer..i.e. the unconscious me...but will learn how to hold it and appreciate its strength and power.😊
Emma, I needed to watch this today. Thank you for giving concrete steps to turn regret into action. I appreciate you so much!
Thank you for this video. I really needed these kind of informations and the step by step guide. I felt so held back by my past my regrets and the things I felt shameful for.
Thank you for your videos they really help many people all over the world.
Thank you for a better 2024
I'm 42, and the obstacle is not 43. The Obstacle is Now. The Obstacle is Always now. Get it ❤!
How come your words make me always feel better more than psychotherapy does lol. You treat people as humans and everyone can relate even if they have different mental health issues going on. I always feel like there's hope and big things look so small once again. Thanks again, you're special ❤
"We can never truly connect with others if we're hiding parts of ourselves that we're ashamed of." I have quite strong abandonment issues and this sentence relieved me so much. I think it's perfect for BPD too as we're striving to deeply connect yet trying not to be abandoned in the process. This reminds me vulnerability and uncomfortable feelings are part of connection, that's the right path/way to make it work and if someone walks away it wasn't going to be a deep connection anyway.
This is SO well timed for me, thank you!!!!
I love the association to rumble strips!
Sometimes regret is because i misjudged the people in my life. These tips are pro life, and that’s good because you have to keep moving forward. But I am done with anyone who uses me and I will never get over wasting my life. Like a narcissist I will hang only with people who benefit me. Which means nobody and there I have no regrets anymore because I learned my lesson.
YOU CARE FOR PEOPLE FOR YOUR HUMBLE CAREER!
I’m 74 and have experience most of what you talk about I’m also someone who has studied myself for the last 40 years so when I say I loved you video I really mean it. Regret may be from the past but the feeling is in the present is a wonderful insight so thank you and I look forward to watch all your other video . ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Wow, she’s an amazing teacher.
If you’re scared to ask something or to disappoint someone my advice is do it now! I always tell myself it's better to disappoint in the beginning a person and they'll forget than after 20+ of loyal friendship. It's good that problems come up at the beginning and get sorted out.
Life is a game you cannot undo past move but your next one can be better. Thank you so much for the video
This morning was awful for me. I was trying every technique I knew - mindfulness, breathing, etc. and I couldn't get out of my head. I went for a long walk and instead of feeling better, I had a panic attack. On the walk, I listed to this video which I incorporated into my-talk to calm down and get grounded again (in her voice, but my words - so it felt both authentic and authoritative!). Thank you for helping me get through a tough moment :)
Such a great topic ,,sooo important, regret will.haunt ya if ya let it
How you knew so many people needed this especially Just before new year rolls
I am grateful to you with all my heart
Hi Emma!!!
I haven't seen you come up in quite a while and I'm so happy to see you this gorgeous winter Sunday afternoon!!😊
I've been doing the work. And I feel great. It's taken me about 3 years to really get most cptsd symptoms under control and to really develop the metacognitive abilities that are necessary to exceed our current situation and really rise above, grow, in other words.
Thank you for your part in my healing over these years. Thanks So Much to So many other truly giving and HELPFUL voices on You Tube. It is possible to get better just with You Tube, and God ( 'just'! Lol) and a burning NEED TO GET WELL. ❤ I'm going to watch your video right now. I love it so far. You wear that tool belt well!! Perhaps I'll send an edit after I watch it and thank you, but I'm sure it will be wonderful. God bless
I've been following you a long time and didn't realize you were local to me until I saw the intro to this video and recognized the background :) love those mountains.
Emma darling, You don't have any idea how much I love you and all the stuffs you have been equipping your fellow human being a Ross this planet earth. I really am really great full about every bit contributions in my life. May God bless you with a great healthy and peacefull life. Amen.
I love to think of all the hurting people she helps. ♥️
Love this video - I especially like when you said - 'if you hurt yourself with a hammer you don't throw the hammer away - you learn how to use it.' (Or words to that effect) Powerful. Thank you
I've written letters to myself from the person (s) I felt I never got closure or resolve with and my reply to acquire the closure of that energy drain... it's been very satisfying and effective!❤ Thank you!❤
Love your positivity and the logical way that you break things down into smaller steps. Been struggling a bit here, so thank you so much!
Stumbled across this video by chance. I feel as though you know me and you’re addressing my regrets and giving me a way to stop beating myself up over past mistakes. As others have commented, we need to take action and use the information in this video. A wonderful video, thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Emma, I am so very thankful for these videos. I think this is so fantastic as a public service. I value rewarding people who contribute positively, if I knew an award to nominate you for, it would be. :) So many cannot afford quality services and this is a way to access care.
This video was really helpful I am going to carry on working on myself to show my children I am not the Me from 4 years ago and hopefully get more contact with them. I look back on last year as a year that I learned a lot. Starting with using a sewing machine which terrified me at first. I am now working on my maths skills. I didn't do well with it in school but now I have a chance to improve. Played a maths game before Christmas and I was terrified at first but as things went on my confidence grew. Bring on 2024.
This video is pure gold
You present a very logical, sensible perspective on how to live in a way that minimizes the effect of regret. This video is full of good thinking.
I dont have enough energy to waste on regrets. I work on the assumption that i live each day to the best of my ability WITH THE RESOURCES I HAVE/HAD ON THAT DAY. II I had the wherewithal to act differently, i would have done it.
Thank you. Regret has really been a tough one to let go of.
I'm about to do this exercise. Can I just say this video is the only video with a clear way to let go of the regrets of the past. Bless you for making it. ❤
What the heck is this a thing going from regret to okay what do I value…I love it exactly what I needed and was looking for goodness gracious thank you Emma you are a fantastic human bean and I love all the work that you do and hopefully are continue doing.
This Therapy In A Nutshell youtube is perfectly timed synchronistic timing because I confess that my main regrets are definitely around certain career, money and college/education action steps that I could have taken in the past. However I am glad that the youtube author bluntly shared examples from her own life and an example of a chart to utilize when processing regrets and transforming regrets into positive vehicles for change and what to keep in mind when eventually reaching out for professional support andor help (face to face therapy, counseling etc.). The college degree example that the youtube author utilizes in the youtube video is also helpful.
Your video was tremendously helpful. I'm glad you didn't make friends in high school. Look at you now: Best friends with people all over the world that you will never meet. Greetings from South Africa.
Thank you, very useful! You are my favorite therapist.
I think this video will really help me. Thanks!
It can be very difficult to let go of the past. I've always struggled with that. I finally came to realize after reflecting on everything, there were things I had no control over so I had to accept that. Whatever you can change, do it. The best thing to do is to learn and grow from those experiences and make good out of them. Any problem you've had and found solutions to you know how to prevent those things, heal, and what to do in case of future problems. If it's a moral thing, you make amends and become a better person. You can help people who've been through the same things. If it's a failure, you can learn how to prevent it in the future, do things right, and solve any future issues with that.
I have watched several of your videos. I have not started the work yet, but I am very impressed with your knowledge and ability to relate your knowledge to people with varying backgrounds. I am even more impressed with your ability to teach. Great video!
I love your videos and how you share information! I recently recited that phrase about planting a tree! The years are gonna pass anyway and it is better to have a tree at the end of all those years.
Forgive You from the past and go forward knowing you are working to change Future You. Wonderful video, Emma! Healing and positive vibes to all ❤ 🙏🏼
Thank you sooo much and Safe travels and enjoy your 2024🎉 stay strong Well and warm
Just found a namesake and a key to help me handle my losses. Thanks
This is SO good! This is the epitome of efficient and quick help in a nutshell. I love it so much. Thank you for this!!
You and the crappy childhood fairy have helped me. You have been played on my phone about anxiety coping and grounding and understand where I am coming from better. From all of us nutshell people.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Emma❤ I've just was doing the revision of my past and really regretted some of my choices and decisions, and your video brought me good vibes and I'm doing to do the work to help myself
Definitely one of the most helpful videos I've watched on the channel! The actionable steps and examples really clarify what I can do with my life, regrets, and values. Thank you!
It is amazing how much value I get from watching your videos! Pretty surprised, seeing as we have never met or anything. But your words ring so true. Thank you so much.
Having an internal focus of control is really key here. What can you change and what can’t you change? Get right with those things and use them as fuel to change your life. If you can’t change it….let it roll off like water off a ducks back. Because I promise you will see these things you cannot control over and over again. Let them go. Focus on not seeing what you CAN change ever again. And you’ve done it.
People make mistakes man. It must happen to learn. Focus on those not happening again. The only thing guaranteed in life is that everything will change and you will make mistakes. Learn, move forward. Learn move forward, learn move forward.
❤Thank you, I am 50 and headed back to school to finish my degree. Needed to hear this.
This is great video, I regret not finding it years ago.
Thanks Emma for sharing this valuable knowledge and information. I like your energy and the way you present and express things. Keep it up
Thank you Emma. I was dealing with regret a lot over the last few days. I did not use my degree like I would have liked. I was in Army ROTC in college, I had too many injuries to make it in. But I learned a lot that my classmates did not particularly planning and communication (I was also around a lot of senior military officers and NCOs and they taught me a ton of things).
Recently I told my boss I could work Saturdays. I regretted it immediately. I sent my boss an email this evening saying that I could do this Saturday but not again. I thought about explaining myself but did not as I did not want it coming back on me. I should have just said that I cannot work on Saturdays the first time.
I’ve been through a lot the last few years. Divorce, girl friend, living in a big city, etc. my world has been devastated since my mother passed away almost 4 years ago. Now I bought a piece of property a little over 70 miles from the city and will be living in a farming district. I will not have another relationship, but will work the land until satisfied and maybe do a little traveling!!
Thank you sis. This is one of the great things that I learned in my life.
Wow. Sure do wish I had learned these skillslike 34 years ago. I realize that I have alot of cognitive distortions. Currently going through a divorce from a 32 year marriage and these skills sure would have helped us alot. So grateful that I'm learning these skills now. ❤
Thank you I really needed this. You are the best💙
this was a random recommendation but glad I watched :)
Same here