Do you have deeply held regrets? How do you feel about regrets? How have you processed regrets in the past? Share your thoughts below! And don't forget to grab the five-step reflection exercise here: terricole.com/past-mistakes-guide
Hello Terri, beautifully put! Thank you! I'm sure the 5-step guide is going to help. I'd love to see more content on self-forgiveness, especially for people who were in the wrong. I have regrets because my selfishness emotionally hurt someone deeply who's not around anymore to ask for forgiveness. I've grown since and cognitively I understand my reasons, emotionally however still hurts and beating myself up and can't reach self-compassion on this one. Blessings and thank you for your wisdom! 🙏
Pointless to regret..you said it so perfect....life is always NOW.. .. in the past we were different ...even our cells were different and no one from that time...this is our chance..with a different level of perception...to write in a good manner our present moment.....you are great in what you are doing❤
Hi Terri. Thank you for this video and I'm excited to watch it. However, is this video just for what most would categorize as "small" mistakes? I have seen stories on Oprah about parents who accidentally killed their kids by leaving them in the car. Some mistakes cause us severe trauma, loss, and grief. Does this video apply to these type of mistakes or just ones that are less major? Thank you.
guilt and regret after my father passed away I still unable recover since 2021 guilt for not being on time and also not leading a life in a right manner...now i feel nothing good I have failed being son i really failed... now I am in bit stable in my career but not able to do anything in life because past when my dad was alive didn't do much now ...i feel y should I enjoy or spend etc for my joy ,,, I don't think so I can overcome this pain',,i don't want this life any more
For those struggling with rumination + obsession about the past, i found eating healthily, avoiding food that causes inflammation, good night sleep, less technology and checking my phone helps!
Minorities have a whole other level of regret, pain, and guilt for just existing. Living itself becomes unbearable, however; the present does help a little to bring hope. Skin color is a form of guilt, this video may help stop such insanity.
@@TheFracturedfuture have you tried this for a long period of time? it is like anti-depressants; it takes time for chemicals in your brain to change. I still struggle with rumination as I eat carb and sleep all day. But I still stand by what i posted here. Give it a try for 6 months to a year
@@alessaxn I've been into bodybuilding for over a decade so I have eaten pretty clean and excersised most of my life. Yes it does make you feel good but it hardly ever helped me with the ruminating. It could just be me though.
@@TheFracturedfuture I am in the same boat. It is a mental loop, a habit. I know. I suggest when you are "mindful" of your rumination, you catch yourself and stop right there. Remind yourself why this has got to stop. Repeat affirmations. This is what I am trying to do after being abused by a former employer and I am still wronged. I have to find a way out!
I am only 18 but i already have thoughts about my past and how horrible it was. I was basically raised by the internet and got addicted to adult content at age 8. Ive seen a lot of stuff online in that time and thinking of it makes me feel gross or depressed as i feel I missed out on childhood. This video helps me though, i hope anyone reading this has a good day. thank you ❤
@@SmellMyKnee15 Well, it more so went like some adults online did show me some things and then I got curious and looked it up afterwards. It was over 10 years ago so its hard to remember exactly.
@kimberlyacevedo2975 I'm so sorry..... it's a rough road for sure. I have a quote that I try to remember.." be careful what you say about yourself. You're listening ".
26 year old here, and I was an abuser in my last relationship. Didn’t realize it at the time of course, but she was the perfect person. Only realized it when she left me. This guilt haunts me, and I tried to chase forgiveness from her. But I realized I only need to forgive myself. The only way to truly do that, is stop being that person who did those things. Evolve into a better human, and you will have forgiven yourself.
@@Viv8ldi i am sorry to hear that. I hope you are healing. I do believe most people have the potential to get better once they realize their flaws and mistakes, and they get the proper help.
@@Mysterix619exactly same thing is with and I am 18 and I was also a abuser in my relationship and she was a 1 in a million girl ,i also didn't realise it when I was with her ,now left with regret and guilt .
I am a 68 year old man with autism - diagnosed at 60. Outstanding video with specific strategies and hope, in most of my life I have often and always been lectured on what to do with no strategies to change for the better. Grew up with perfectionism - mistakes discouraged. My biggest regrets - going through life with no awareness of my ASD and receiving very little effective help from therapists, coaches and others on how to make my life work. Often blamed and shamed for my failures in life. I would need a 3 hour rant in your office to unload the crap and start healing.
Thank you so much for this video. It's been really hard to forgive myself for something I did while I was still 16. I understand that we shouldn't simply let ourselves off the hook and commit the same bad behavior over and over again, but ruminating excessively won't help us solve the issue either. Hearing your perspective on the matter really helped me, I hope I can use your knowledge to grow as a person. ❤
4years ago or may I say when I was 16 high school years I made a lot of mistakes and drank a lot and always thought I was fat when I wasn’t and I just find this keeping me up just can’t stop thinking of what I should’ve done with that time instead of running away so much and chasing highs n love from people who had other intentions bad ones I was letting my self get used and just so young n stupid I hate that this is keeping me up rn I feel so bad of how I treated myself I just feel so damaged now..
There are so many things that I did in the past that I hadn’t understood were wrong or inappropriate because I was a child and didn’t fully grasp how someone could’ve gotten hurt or uncomfortable because of my childhood curiosity, or I did understand that they were wrong and don’t fully grasp how they could end up coming back to haunt me with regret in my later years due to believing that I was much more mature than I truly was. I’ve begun to do a lot of reflecting and have begun to see why the things I had done in the past were inappropriate or wrong and it’s sent me into a stage of self hate, regret and anxiety. I’ve been taking meaningful steps for years now to try and better myself and stand for the right thing, to make sure people don’t make the same mistakes that I did. I wanted to thank you for this video and helping me overcome my mistakes and my past, it has truly helped me in taking steps in moving forward in trying to become a better person
I have been felt so regrii have chosen a wrong surgeon who has performed the knee surgery on my kid. Instead of having one surgery, this either greedy or unskilled surgeon divide one surgery into two surgeries. I have two surgeons to choose, but in the end I have chosen the wrong one. I have been felt so guilty for my kid who differed twice.
I am in the exact same boat!!!!! And it’s worse when your grown kids can never ever forgive you or give you any kind of grace at all 💔💔💔 I’m praying for you! I know it’s the worst pain ever! 😞🙏🙏🙏 I have ptsd so bad and all I think of all day and night is “ I should have done this , I should have done that, if I only knew then what I know now, how stupid I was and so on and so forth and it’s complete torture! I do give it to God , but then I keep taking it back
Bless you. I have done the same to self. I came to this conclusion after decades- They have been adults for decades. If THEY CHOOSE not to talk things over, forgive and move on, everything I have been doing to make up for mistakes is of no use. I spent decades beating self up and it did NOBODY any good. I have lately said to self- piss on it. Take the years I have left and think and create happy. I have felt better and did more in the last month from that. It takes 2 to teeter totter. If they do not want to, go to the swing and feel the wind in your face smiling!!! 🎉❤
As I paused the video & reflected, several pictures of regrets came into my head, especially some that seem often to pop up,out of nowhere. I tried to delve into the sources of the behavior, especially since most had a common thread. I then had flashes of several varied painful experiences, things others did to me or that affected me. These were very, very deep hurts. Feeling “less than,” for various reasons, kept popping up, & I also,realized that that is likely the source of my perfectionism, which is not a positive trait. A sentence sprang into my head as a result of these reflections, an explanation for my behaviors: “It was a way of protecting myself.” I feel such relief & peace & lightness, & I can’t thank you enough.
@@terri_cole thank you so much! I feel such a lightness of being. I’ve always been an introspective person (retired college a English teacher here) & have long wrestled with this obsessing over mistakes issue. I finally feel a sense of peace. Blessings to you!
I am my own number one bully. My mother mentioned that I give so much patience and kindness to others and I deny it for myself. I need to take this advice. self compassion. kindness. TO MYSELF.
I talked poorly behind someone's back and said natsy things instead of confronting them about issues. I broke their trust and hurt them and take full responsibility for my actions. I deeply regret what i have done, i said my apology and peace. I dont deserve forgiveness but i know better for next time and will never do it again.
I'm 29 year old . My only regret is being overly kind to others but not to myself. Giving others chances to others but not to myself. I feel like wold is moving ahead amd I'm still at the same place.
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️ You're in the right spot because you're so not alone- I spent much of my younger life doing the same. It's never too late to begin putting yourself first and advocating for your needs and preferences. You might like this video I did: ua-cam.com/video/AJXBsiJJiUE/v-deo.html at the 7:52 minute mark I talk about this.
i appreciate the idea of looking for what the trigger might be when an old regret surfaces. i have a few moments in my life that give me full body cringe, and i have always tried to shut down the memory to avoid the feelings. next time one comes up, i'll try investigating what else may be going on in my life to surface that regret/memory.
Thank you for this video. I recently have been making a lot of positive changes in my life, and the sudden shift in energy has resurfaced the anxiety and depression that I had in the past. I spent all day thinking about what could have been, which has been preventing me from sleeping well. But your words have really comforted me. It's hard to make change, but I just need to be proud of myself for digging my way out of the hole.
Many catchy and trendy phrases come and go ,without ever having any true or meaningful outcome. One that stuck firmly in my mind was.... Humans will make bad choices and mistakes. The real mistake is not learning from the first mistake. And don't ever forget. We are allowed to make mistakes in order to learn.
Terri, I had my doubts about getting over my past regrets, but thankfully, you said some things that are helping me make a break-through. Like - we're all human, we're all flawed, and we should treat ourselves with the same compassion as we would a loved one - with kindness and self-compassion. We did the best with whatever skills and awareness we had at the time. And there were reasons we did what we did. But if not having had modeling for problem solving or good communication, we can't expect to have done better. And we can learn upon looking back, so we can look forward to handling similar situations in a better way. Thank you so much. This really helped me.
I’m 20. I’ve been a really shitty person to people who I’m supposed to love and do love, and even those who were past hookups and flings. Often my past comes back in some forms. Prank calls in which I’m hated on and told many things about myself that are negative, and some that are in the form of just running into someone I did wrong in my past. It’s making it difficult to leave it in the past. I’ve changed a lot but I’ve got a long way to go. I’ve messed up so much in my life. That prank call I got yesterday really bothered me, and it still is today. I can’t let it go. I want to know who that was that I once had hooked up with. I am worried about dirt they have on me and what not, because I am simply trying to move on from this past. It’s so difficult.
I am witnessing you with compassion, David 💕 That does sound difficult. Is it possible to not pick up the phone unless you know who is calling (and that it's safe to pick up)? That's one way to set a small boundary so you can move on, although I get not being able to do that with running into someone. If therapy is accessible/available to you, you might want to have the guidance of a therapist to work through all of this. Take care of yourself.
I've been in a real slump over the last weeks. Remembering something that I did 40 years ago that had a negative effect on my children. I suffered from Mental health issues , a husband having affairs, and I could go on. But because I'm not very bright I made bad decisions. It was only many years later that I became self aware. My consciousness was made aware of all the stupid things that I've done and said in my life. Your video has helped. I'm going through a lot right now of beating myself up. It all came to the surface when my eldest daughter mentioned some things that I acknowledged . I've found life very difficult, especially relationships. . .. Thank you.
This is the first video from Mrs Cole that I've ever sceen. And this video is a God send to me. When my mind flashes back to deep regret my inner voice usally follows by saying "I hate myself" It's horrible. Thank you so much Mrs Cole! I down loaded the guide and will begin working on this out tomorrow morning. I feel like I just stumbled across a life changer.
Been berating myself on a daily basis for many years, but over one decision particularly that didn’t just impact me, so it’s not just shame, it’s guilt. It’s 100% poisonous to progression in life, I’ll watch this video more than once, thank you ❤
Thank you for this video. It helped to ease a lot of my pain. Through my actions I have hurt and disappointed the dearest, most favorite person in my life and gave him a trauma he is probably going to deal with for the next years, maybe even his whole life not being able to trust anyone again. I am afraid this experience changed the trajectory of both of our lives and impacted him in a very dangerous way. I will probably never see him again, nor our mutual friends, and if I somehow do, I won't be greeted. I have fallen extremely in his eyes and also my perception of myself darkened greatly. Thoughts like "I am really this person" or "I am a bad person" or "This cannot be forgiven". He didn't accept my apologies and has every right to do so. It hurts to accept that he hates me, and if he manages to heal from this, that he will feel totally indifferent towards me, because until yesterday I was the love of his life and vice versa. I love him from the bottom of my heart and just hope that he will heal from this, even if that will require changing his perception of me to the worst possible.
Thank you for making this video. I struggle with this a lot. I really appreciate you, Terri. Thank you for everything you do; your light really does help to empower people.
This video showed up in my stream and I needed to hear this so badly. I have so many regrets and it’s making me age faster and just feel horrible every single day.. I’m just taking my first steps to try and heal so thank you.
Im learning to let go of my past. Im learning to make better decisions. Somethings are not meant to fight for if their negative. Im staying posive as much as i can today and growing for tomorrow.
I am 68 and I have many regrets. Some are about recent things, others are old. And sometimes I turn and turn to them. The more difficult to me are those I hurt someone and even I could find some excuses for what I did (not always) I suffer thinking of that. I know it’s done and it can’t be changed but it’s like I punish my self, I think.
Thank you for making this video, I have learnt from my mistake and also I am trying to make it right with good intentions. & Being kind and having faith is the key. Also praying while you make everything right has worked for me.
I am new to your program, I regret constantly not having a child when I could have , and it was the ideal moment, it would have improved things with my family, husband, I would have been connected with more people, and I feel it would have made my husband happy, and now that I am 66 I would have a child 26 and something to look forward to in life.
Hi Terry I have been searching for something like this some kind of video to help me cope or get rid of my regrets and I really like your video I'm going to get the five step guide and I'm pretty sure it's going to help me because your video helped me already and thank you and God bless you YAHWEH YAHSHUA for what you do thank you
I was a bully to a colleague, and did not even realise that he was going through struggles. Only more than 25 years or more later,I want to ask for forgiveness. Sad I can't find him. It is difficult to forgive myself to forgive myself. Each time I find episodes of how bad I treated him...when he was such a good person.
I m from Tunisia it is the first time listening for you im deeply regretting the past mainly my mariage experience .after period of time of mariage i find out may husband in relation with another woman .At the beginning it hurts me alot but alater on i decide to move on i want to change my life . i retuned back to accomplish my study .I have learned alot from my past those horrible experiences are just stones and i want to build stairs from tghem i will move and never give up what ever happened to me alot of time ask myself why thet heppen to me but i retun back to praying and cheshing the moment and looking forward for better moments i need to move on for the benefit of me my future and my kid need strong woman who is able to do it and heal herself thanks fror you video i like your speech thanks alot again * ❣❣❣❣❤
Hello everyone! I am currently 16, and regretting my first love. When I had my first relationship, it was great. We were happy, and I thought she was my sweetheart. But, as the relationship moved on, I noticed she wasn't attached as much as she had been.. it was then when I realized that she was dating someone behind my back. That was my first impression of love.. false love. Now I have let it affect me today and harm the current relationship I have.. but I am on a journey to not let it harm me or her anymore.. because I believe she is truly the love of my life..
Feeling deep guilt and regret lead me into a years long abusive trauma bonded relationship that ended in my becoming completely disassociated. It’s taken a long time to figure out what happened and I’m still unpacking it all. Deep, painful regret and being constantly shamed isn’t something easily worked through.
I'm 21 and I wish I had been more honest in my relationship. I committed a grave mistake and it's been my biggest regret. I've been going to therapy and I hope I can grow into a better person❤️
Hey, 20 here. I also have regrets from past relationships. I was not honest either, and I lost a great person because of my dishonesty. We need to realize we’re young and we are naturally going to make mistakes in the future, but we cannot be stuck grieving someone because of our mistakes because there’s nothing we can do about it now. Wishing you well❤
This was plainly and simply incredible. I'm going to place the mentioned steps into practice now, but I can already tell just after listening that I'm feeling ten times better about my situation. Thank you.
Thank you for this video and for your channel. I recently did something that hurt a new relationship I'm in and I had no idea at the time how hurtful it actually was and the position I put both of us in. Even though they're giving me another chance (which I am HIGHLY thankful for), I cannot and will not go back, because that pain I felt for me AND my partner was the worst feeling ever. It was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn about self-awareness.
Thank you for this video. I regret for things I should have said or done to my dad who passed away in dec 2023. Regrets is killing me and steal my peace. It hurts a lot. I love my dad so much.
Excellent video. This a daily struggle for me. Thank you very much for the tips. I am very grateful that you are taking the time to record such a video. What a blessing! Much love to you 😘
Thank you, terry! Something you said resonated with me and it made me realize that those ruminations take me away from being present and it was not being present that caused me to make those mistakes😊 that certainly takes away some of the cringe and makes it more of a learning process for remaining present in the here and now
Im in my twenties now and i have a lot of regrets about who i was in the past and the things i did. I'm trying my best to do better,cried through half of what you said. thank you for your words and this video.
I’m 22 and made one of the biggest regrets that not only impacted me, but my parents his family and mine. This happened this year in October and it’s been so hard for me to move on and forgive myself. This video helped a lot and I will be working on the guide❤
I ruminate on my major mistakes in my career, relationships and finances. Your presentation is impressive - linking my regretful moments to diminishing my personal power in the present. Thank you for your wisdom. Your image of bashing your head against the wall is memorable.
Thank you so much, Terry, for your excellent video. It is the first video that speaks directly to my heart. I am a high empath with enormously high levels of perfectionism and shame and guilt complex. I have struggled with nauseating OCD that is centered around guilt complexes and idea pressures in who to be and what to think. I am so thankful that you said the things you did. Thank you.
What a great video. Everyday I wake up and for like an hour I obsess about past failures and regrets. I mean I finally achieved my dream profession and things are looking bright for me, but can’t let go sometimes of past regret.
Hello I’m new my name is Josh and I was addicted to opioids for 20 years I’m now 34 with almost 3 years clean. I hope that by watching this and more of your videos I can learn to understand my fear of guilt. Possibly understand why it’s so heavy on me.
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️ and cheering you on for being nearly three years clean! So amazing 🙌 Would you like to say more about your fear of guilt? If not that's totally okay, just wanted to see if I could point you to any of my other videos that may be more helpful with that.
Thanks for this video. Needed the encouragement. I left my stable and good paying job in my home city for a new one across the country in search of a change of scenery, weather, and lifestyle. I regret it deeply because I didn’t realize how much I would rather be surrounded by family and loved ones and live a simple life. I uprooted my family’s life for selfish and stupid reasons because I wanted to live that beautiful instagram lifestyle. Even got into debt and took out retirement money to move. Now I’m trying to find a job back home and move us back.
I made a mistake two days ago. I am 29 and I did drugs and I hated it. My thoughts afterwards were: why am I doing this? Why am I treating myself like that? My body is my temple and I made one mistake that is eating me from inside out and I can’t forgive myself for this. I know I’m not gonna do it anymore because I simply hated it but the fact that it’s done hurts me I lot.
Im a 19 yrs old. I mostly do my projects and everything perfectly and im know for my mature actions and behaviours and my good logical mind and i guess sometimes i forget that im 19 and everyone's reaction towards what i might do wrong is kinda intense and that makes me feel terrible. I am very precise and make sure everything goes smoothly and perfectly , but sometimes i wish i was clumsy so that people wouldn't act so surprised when i made a mistake in something.
There is a period between April 2019 till August of 2020 that I wish I could delete from my life. Those 15 months haunt me all these years later. I hope that I can forgive myself and let go of the mistakes I made.
Thank you for this video. i find it very helpful. I will follow your advice and start a journal about it. I am 67 years old and have been obsessing about regrets. I really need to do something about it.
Looking forward to watching more, I’ve not been able to get out from under my guilt and shame and it has been feeding strong SI that’s only been getting worse, to make things much worse the people I’ve betrayed / hurt in the past refuse to let me forget it - they define me by my past mistakes and insist that they’re being angelic to me yet I’m narrowly escaping my own desire to not be here any more daily.
I am so sorry to hear you're struggling with people in your life defining you by your past mistakes. If you believe you are in danger of harming yourself, please reach out to a professional therapist, a friend, or a trusted member of your family or clergy so you are not alone during this time. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK. The call is free and confidential, and the crisis workers are there 24/7 to assist you. I have other free mental health resources listed on my website here: terricole.com/gethelp I hope you find this resources helpful, as I am unable to offer any personalized assistance. I am sending you so much strength and love to get through this. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Terry, just knowing I'm not alone is enough. I was able to speak to multiple people who support me. And now I want to let go and this video popped up! ❤
I don't fall too often into a regret trap but from time to time it will hit me hard the things I didn't do. As I get older I think about a time in my future where it really will be too late to do those things.
Speechless.. this is what i wanted to know for years to overcome my depression over my missteps n mistakes… jus the best ever information received… 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I regret not being brave enough to ask someone, to take risk and pursue a challenging career, to take a lift of faith and have more adventurous life. I become rotten in the corners of my room sulking, I try to change but I revert back to my bad habits now I'm gonna try again I wish things go well❤❤
I am witnessing you with compassion and cheering you on 💕 This video on why we self-sabotage may be helpful as well: ua-cam.com/video/Rg7UZO_L_Wk/v-deo.html
I normally dont think of past regrets but i recently had a dream about an ex i cheated on. Now im ruminating on the past because i loved him so much i was just to scared to get married at that time he was leaving for the militaryand i still had 2 years of high school. I have learned alot about this but i still cant get it out of my head and im even in a relationship where i have been with my husband for 13 years. This makes no sense. I did finally forgive myself for hurting someone. I thought about apologizing but i feel that would create another mess i do not want to get into so forgiving myself is the best i can do.
Im 39, single, childless, have made little effort to find someone in my late twenties and 30s....my career has been a series of unfortunate events that have resulted in no growth due to my stupid mistakes...i am the definition of regret. I like your message though.
You are still here, stay strong, although it feels bad a lot of people must also be in this position. We aren't all given the tools to thrive or know what to want or how to get it, nor do we always have that motivation or ability.
I miss my ex husband of 18 Years. We were both emotionally reactive a lot of dv was involved until he decided to divorce me one day. It was blindsiding. I was angry. Still am bitter. Now I realize our love was intense and we could not communicate. I miss him miss my family life but nightmares and guilt and regret is eating me alive. I want to forgive myself but I can't. I have wronged him and he has wronged me . I want to be at peace with myself
I am regretting about my past...and it is becoming deeper & deeper because the present time is also becoming the new regret. (a regretting cycle) I am not seeing growth.. Some regrets just ruin my current life .. And I m about 19.
I'm 33 and I feel like I've done too much, I have just retreated from life because I'm scared I'll sdo something that will build onto this huge mountain of regret that's on my shoulders. So much shame and guilt.
Hi im violet. I recently said things to my adult son did I really wish I had not said. I didn't think of how hurtful it was until after the fact. It also made me realize I have resentments about some of his decisions and actions
I have the deeply held ones that you talk about. I’m wondering now about the tiny ones that show up in conversations. I find myself regretting saying things because the timing was off or i get a weird look in response, or sometimes even when there is silence. It’s not deep regret but it can put me in my head where I berate myself, when i am truly just am seeking connection.
I am witnessing you with compassion, Bridget ❤️ It can be okay to go back to someone and apologize for saying something during a conversation if you felt it wasn't received well. Or, if you notice it in the moment, you can catch it and make amends on the spot. However, if it wasn't anything offensive, you might just practice transforming that inner critic into something more compassionate. "I am trying my best, I am just seeking connection. I'm a work in progress." I have a video about this here: ua-cam.com/video/aF2xbwKdgi8/v-deo.html
@ i am grateful for your thoughtful reply. It feels like the inner critic at work more than the words that i say… but as a recovering pleaser, I can be too focused on them and their reaction than to my inner state of being. Thanks for breaking down this complex issue and for all you do for so many of us ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
great video I am 48 just lost my job after 15 years from drinking. and the last 6 months its all i can think about is how i have stuffed up my life so bad. Trying to move forward. your video has really helped me
I think I could have been successful forgiving myself but I’ve had too many humans around me who make judgment and shaming a sport. I realize this is probably not typical, but it has been my experience. I tend to be my harshest critic but I also know I was cut off by the knees when I was decimated by grotesque abuse as a child. Knowing what I know about that I believe I am a miracle. But bullies seem to follow me around and I’m already burdened with shame and I am easily trampled.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion and I am so sorry to hear about the shaming and judgment you're experiencing from others 💕 I have so many videos on my channel about self-love and boundaries, but I believe it a lot of it comes down to our relationship with ourselves, because it is the most important one we will ever have. How we treat ourselves sets the bar for how everyone else will treat us. And this is made so difficult when we've experienced abuse in childhood and don't have proper support. I believe you are worthy simply by virtue of being alive. 💕
@@terri_cole Thank you so much for your kind response to my comment. I shouldn’t leave so much of myself in a UA-cam comment but I just can’t help it sometimes. Your thoughts are very comforting to me. Thank you 🙏
My family nor my sons regrets nothing that they have done to me... and in the other hand... I regret EVERY SINGLE DAY.. the bad things I have done.. So imagine my emotions...
I've been feeling guilty for things i did when i was younger and I'm 17 now and when i was younger the things i did and said i didn't realize were wrong at the time and didn't think about consequences and i feel like even at the age i was i should've known better i just didn't.
I’m new to this channel I have one regret that I made in my past that I shouldn’t have and it was being in a very toxic relationship it drag me down because I was blind by love I had rumors in middle school and high school telling me that I shouldn’t be with him because he had bad mental health issues this happened when I was 13 to 14 years old but now I’m 19 and it still gives me ptsd until this day🤔
I am witnessing you with so much compassion ❤️ Toxic relationships are hard enough to deal with as an adult- children are rarely fully equipped to deal with that. But what you know now from having that experience can protect you, too. ❤️ I have a short video that speaks to this, too: ua-cam.com/video/jiX4YKt8bKI/v-deo.html
Do you have deeply held regrets? How do you feel about regrets? How have you processed regrets in the past? Share your thoughts below! And don't forget to grab the five-step reflection exercise here: terricole.com/past-mistakes-guide
Hello Terri, beautifully put! Thank you! I'm sure the 5-step guide is going to help. I'd love to see more content on self-forgiveness, especially for people who were in the wrong. I have regrets because my selfishness emotionally hurt someone deeply who's not around anymore to ask for forgiveness. I've grown since and cognitively I understand my reasons, emotionally however still hurts and beating myself up and can't reach self-compassion on this one. Blessings and thank you for your wisdom! 🙏
Pointless to regret..you said it so perfect....life is always NOW.. .. in the past we were different ...even our cells were different and no one from that time...this is our chance..with a different level of perception...to write in a good manner our present moment.....you are great in what you are doing❤
I used to be so stuck here in the past. Do very grateful to be past this . Lots of work 🤍🌬️🌃🫧
Hi Terri. Thank you for this video and I'm excited to watch it. However, is this video just for what most would categorize as "small" mistakes?
I have seen stories on Oprah about parents who accidentally killed their kids by leaving them in the car.
Some mistakes cause us severe trauma, loss, and grief. Does this video apply to these type of mistakes or just ones that are less major? Thank you.
guilt and regret after my father passed away I still unable recover since 2021 guilt for not being on time and also not leading a life in a right manner...now i feel nothing good I have failed being son i really failed... now I am in bit stable in my career but not able to do anything in life because past when my dad was alive didn't do much now ...i feel y should I enjoy or spend etc for my joy ,,, I don't think so I can overcome this pain',,i don't want this life any more
For those struggling with rumination + obsession about the past, i found eating healthily, avoiding food that causes inflammation, good night sleep, less technology and checking my phone helps!
Minorities have a whole other level of regret, pain, and guilt for just existing. Living itself becomes unbearable, however; the present does help a little to bring hope. Skin color is a form of guilt, this video may help stop such insanity.
That literally does nothing.
@@TheFracturedfuture have you tried this for a long period of time? it is like anti-depressants; it takes time for chemicals in your brain to change. I still struggle with rumination as I eat carb and sleep all day. But I still stand by what i posted here. Give it a try for 6 months to a year
@@alessaxn I've been into bodybuilding for over a decade so I have eaten pretty clean and excersised most of my life.
Yes it does make you feel good but it hardly ever helped me with the ruminating. It could just be me though.
@@TheFracturedfuture I am in the same boat. It is a mental loop, a habit. I know. I suggest when you are "mindful" of your rumination, you catch yourself and stop right there. Remind yourself why this has got to stop. Repeat affirmations. This is what I am trying to do after being abused by a former employer and I am still wronged. I have to find a way out!
I am only 18 but i already have thoughts about my past and how horrible it was. I was basically raised by the internet and got addicted to adult content at age 8. Ive seen a lot of stuff online in that time and thinking of it makes me feel gross or depressed as i feel I missed out on childhood. This video helps me though, i hope anyone reading this has a good day. thank you ❤
I relate to that
at 18 you're already ahead of the game, so to speak. Proud of you! You're amazing. I'm 65, and just starting. YOU got this! Keep going. So worth it 🙌🌛
Did someone show it to you or did you seek it out?
@@SmellMyKnee15 Well, it more so went like some adults online did show me some things and then I got curious and looked it up afterwards. It was over 10 years ago so its hard to remember exactly.
If that's the extent of your mistakes then i wouldn't worry
I do this repeatedly and really want to stop with this obsession. The constant ruminating and regrets.
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️
Same here!! I hate the feeling! It's suffocating and anxiety kicks in! May we all find peace!
I've been a horrible bully to myself. I've learned that no one and nothing can hurt me more than I can hurt myself.
Sending love ❤️❤️
I feel the same way 😢
@kimberlyacevedo2975 I'm so sorry..... it's a rough road for sure. I have a quote that I try to remember.." be careful what you say about yourself. You're listening ".
Same here.
This is absolute truth 💯
26 year old here, and I was an abuser in my last relationship. Didn’t realize it at the time of course, but she was the perfect person. Only realized it when she left me. This guilt haunts me, and I tried to chase forgiveness from her. But I realized I only need to forgive myself. The only way to truly do that, is stop being that person who did those things. Evolve into a better human, and you will have forgiven yourself.
Thanks for sharing ❤️
I know the story from the other side. I was abused my whole life and I dont unterstand how an abuser can feel bad
@@Viv8ldi i am sorry to hear that. I hope you are healing. I do believe most people have the potential to get better once they realize their flaws and mistakes, and they get the proper help.
@@Mysterix619exactly same thing is with and I am 18 and I was also a abuser in my relationship and she was a 1 in a million girl ,i also didn't realise it when I was with her ,now left with regret and guilt .
@ maybe thats even a form of ghastlighting someone, probably it has a different name but to me its a form of manipulation
I am a 68 year old man with autism - diagnosed at 60. Outstanding video with specific strategies and hope, in most of my life I have often and always been lectured on what to do with no strategies to change for the better. Grew up with perfectionism - mistakes discouraged. My biggest regrets - going through life with no awareness of my ASD and receiving very little effective help from therapists, coaches and others on how to make my life work. Often blamed and shamed for my failures in life. I would need a 3 hour rant in your office to unload the crap and start healing.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion, John ❤️❤️
Thank you so much for this video. It's been really hard to forgive myself for something I did while I was still 16. I understand that we shouldn't simply let ourselves off the hook and commit the same bad behavior over and over again, but ruminating excessively won't help us solve the issue either. Hearing your perspective on the matter really helped me, I hope I can use your knowledge to grow as a person. ❤
This makes me so happy to hear ❤️ You're so welcome.
4years ago or may I say when I was 16 high school years I made a lot of mistakes and drank a lot and always thought I was fat when I wasn’t and I just find this keeping me up just can’t stop thinking of what I should’ve done with that time instead of running away so much and chasing highs n love from people who had other intentions bad ones I was letting my self get used and just so young n stupid I hate that this is keeping me up rn I feel so bad of how I treated myself I just feel so damaged now..
There are so many things that I did in the past that I hadn’t understood were wrong or inappropriate because I was a child and didn’t fully grasp how someone could’ve gotten hurt or uncomfortable because of my childhood curiosity, or I did understand that they were wrong and don’t fully grasp how they could end up coming back to haunt me with regret in my later years due to believing that I was much more mature than I truly was. I’ve begun to do a lot of reflecting and have begun to see why the things I had done in the past were inappropriate or wrong and it’s sent me into a stage of self hate, regret and anxiety. I’ve been taking meaningful steps for years now to try and better myself and stand for the right thing, to make sure people don’t make the same mistakes that I did. I wanted to thank you for this video and helping me overcome my mistakes and my past, it has truly helped me in taking steps in moving forward in trying to become a better person
Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment! I am holding space for your healing journey ❤️
Prayers for comfort and healing on you as you move forward. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
How. Did you work on this I can relate too
This is so valuable to me as I struggle with guilt from parenting mistakes and it just tears me up inside.
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️
I have been felt so regrii have chosen a wrong surgeon who has performed the knee surgery on my kid. Instead of having one surgery, this either greedy or unskilled surgeon divide one surgery into two surgeries. I have two surgeons to choose, but in the end I have chosen the wrong one. I have been felt so guilty for my kid who differed twice.
I am in the exact same boat!!!!! And it’s worse when your grown kids can never ever forgive you or give you any kind of grace at all 💔💔💔 I’m praying for you! I know it’s the worst pain ever! 😞🙏🙏🙏 I have ptsd so bad and all I think of all day and night is “ I should have done this , I should have done that, if I only knew then what I know now, how stupid I was and so on and so forth and it’s complete torture! I do give it to God , but then I keep taking it back
@@Millie_Mayyyy17:43 . . . . . .... . . . . . : Is there no chance you could talk to them and apologize? Do they know you feel guilty?
Bless you. I have done the same to self. I came to this conclusion after decades- They have been adults for decades. If THEY CHOOSE not to talk things over, forgive and move on, everything I have been doing to make up for mistakes is of no use. I spent decades beating self up and it did NOBODY any good. I have lately said to self- piss on it. Take the years I have left and think and create happy. I have felt better and did more in the last month from that. It takes 2 to teeter totter. If they do not want to, go to the swing and feel the wind in your face smiling!!! 🎉❤
As I paused the video & reflected, several pictures of regrets came into my head, especially some that seem often to pop up,out of nowhere. I tried to delve into the sources of the behavior, especially since most had a common thread. I then had flashes of several varied painful experiences, things others did to me or that affected me. These were very, very deep hurts. Feeling “less than,” for various reasons, kept popping up, & I also,realized that that is likely the source of my perfectionism, which is not a positive trait. A sentence sprang into my head as a result of these reflections, an explanation for my behaviors: “It was a way of protecting myself.” I feel such relief & peace & lightness, & I can’t thank you enough.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion, Vivian ❤️
@@terri_cole thank you so much! I feel such a lightness of being. I’ve always been an introspective person (retired college a English teacher here) & have long wrestled with this obsessing over mistakes issue. I finally feel a sense of peace. Blessings to you!
I am my own number one bully. My mother mentioned that I give so much patience and kindness to others and I deny it for myself. I need to take this advice. self compassion. kindness. TO MYSELF.
Yes, you deserve it! ❤️
I talked poorly behind someone's back and said natsy things instead of confronting them about issues. I broke their trust and hurt them and take full responsibility for my actions. I deeply regret what i have done, i said my apology and peace. I dont deserve forgiveness but i know better for next time and will never do it again.
have you gotten over this yet?
I'm 29 year old . My only regret is being overly kind to others but not to myself. Giving others chances to others but not to myself. I feel like wold is moving ahead amd I'm still at the same place.
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️ You're in the right spot because you're so not alone- I spent much of my younger life doing the same. It's never too late to begin putting yourself first and advocating for your needs and preferences. You might like this video I did: ua-cam.com/video/AJXBsiJJiUE/v-deo.html at the 7:52 minute mark I talk about this.
Feel the same as you and I’m 40
i appreciate the idea of looking for what the trigger might be when an old regret surfaces. i have a few moments in my life that give me full body cringe, and i have always tried to shut down the memory to avoid the feelings. next time one comes up, i'll try investigating what else may be going on in my life to surface that regret/memory.
Thank you for this video. I recently have been making a lot of positive changes in my life, and the sudden shift in energy has resurfaced the anxiety and depression that I had in the past. I spent all day thinking about what could have been, which has been preventing me from sleeping well. But your words have really comforted me. It's hard to make change, but I just need to be proud of myself for digging my way out of the hole.
I am so glad to hear my words were of comfort to you ❤️
Thank you 😢 I’ll come back to this one as needed. I wish I’d had this 20 years ago holding on to teenage mistakes lost so much time
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️
Many catchy and trendy phrases come and go ,without ever having any true or meaningful outcome. One that stuck firmly in my mind was....
Humans will make bad choices and mistakes.
The real mistake is not learning from the first mistake. And don't ever forget. We are allowed to make mistakes in order to learn.
Terri, I had my doubts about getting over my past regrets, but thankfully, you said some things that are helping me make a break-through. Like - we're all human, we're all flawed, and we should treat ourselves with the same compassion as we would a loved one - with kindness and self-compassion. We did the best with whatever skills and awareness we had at the time. And there were reasons we did what we did. But if not having had modeling for problem solving or good communication, we can't expect to have done better. And we can learn upon looking back, so we can look forward to handling similar situations in a better way. Thank you so much. This really helped me.
I am so, so glad it helped ❤️ Thank you for sharing!
I’m 20. I’ve been a really shitty person to people who I’m supposed to love and do love, and even those who were past hookups and flings. Often my past comes back in some forms. Prank calls in which I’m hated on and told many things about myself that are negative, and some that are in the form of just running into someone I did wrong in my past. It’s making it difficult to leave it in the past. I’ve changed a lot but I’ve got a long way to go. I’ve messed up so much in my life. That prank call I got yesterday really bothered me, and it still is today. I can’t let it go. I want to know who that was that I once had hooked up with. I am worried about dirt they have on me and what not, because I am simply trying to move on from this past. It’s so difficult.
I am witnessing you with compassion, David 💕 That does sound difficult. Is it possible to not pick up the phone unless you know who is calling (and that it's safe to pick up)? That's one way to set a small boundary so you can move on, although I get not being able to do that with running into someone. If therapy is accessible/available to you, you might want to have the guidance of a therapist to work through all of this. Take care of yourself.
Whts your current situation
I was so bothered by regret today .... this helped a lot.
❤️
I've been in a real slump over the last weeks. Remembering something that I did 40 years ago that had a negative effect on my children. I suffered from Mental health issues , a husband having affairs, and I could go on. But because I'm not very bright I made bad decisions. It was only many years later that I became self aware. My consciousness was made aware of all the stupid things that I've done and said in my life. Your video has helped. I'm going through a lot right now of beating myself up. It all came to the surface when my eldest daughter mentioned some things that I acknowledged . I've found life very difficult, especially relationships. . .. Thank you.
I am witnessing you with compassion and holding space for you ❤️
As anothers' daughter, I forgive you
This is the first video from Mrs Cole that I've ever sceen. And this video is a God send to me. When my mind flashes back to deep regret my inner voice usally follows by saying "I hate myself" It's horrible. Thank you so much Mrs Cole! I down loaded the guide and will begin working on this out tomorrow morning. I feel like I just stumbled across a life changer.
I am so glad you found your way to this video! I hope the guide is helpful 💕
Thank you. I have been ruminating about declinig a big promotion at work. Regret is a big deal and this video helps me move on.
I am so glad it was helpful! ❤️
Ruminating is destroying my life. I end up making more mistakes and having more regrets.
I relate to this so much
Been berating myself on a daily basis for many years, but over one decision particularly that didn’t just impact me, so it’s not just shame, it’s guilt. It’s 100% poisonous to progression in life, I’ll watch this video more than once, thank you ❤
You're so welcome ❤️
Thank you for this video. It helped to ease a lot of my pain. Through my actions I have hurt and disappointed the dearest, most favorite person in my life and gave him a trauma he is probably going to deal with for the next years, maybe even his whole life not being able to trust anyone again. I am afraid this experience changed the trajectory of both of our lives and impacted him in a very dangerous way. I will probably never see him again, nor our mutual friends, and if I somehow do, I won't be greeted. I have fallen extremely in his eyes and also my perception of myself darkened greatly. Thoughts like "I am really this person" or "I am a bad person" or "This cannot be forgiven". He didn't accept my apologies and has every right to do so. It hurts to accept that he hates me, and if he manages to heal from this, that he will feel totally indifferent towards me, because until yesterday I was the love of his life and vice versa. I love him from the bottom of my heart and just hope that he will heal from this, even if that will require changing his perception of me to the worst possible.
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️
Thank you for making this video. I struggle with this a lot.
I really appreciate you, Terri. Thank you for everything you do; your light really does help to empower people.
This video showed up in my stream and I needed to hear this so badly. I have so many regrets and it’s making me age faster and just feel horrible every single day.. I’m just taking my first steps to try and heal so thank you.
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️
Im learning to let go of my past. Im learning to make better decisions. Somethings are not meant to fight for if their negative. Im staying posive as much as i can today and growing for tomorrow.
❤️
So grateful I found your channel.
💕💕
I am 68 and I have many regrets. Some are about recent things, others are old. And sometimes I turn and turn to them. The more difficult to me are those I hurt someone and even I could find some excuses for what I did (not always) I suffer thinking of that. I know it’s done and it can’t be changed but it’s like I punish my self, I think.
I am witnessing you with compassion, Céu ❤️
Thank you for making this video, I have learnt from my mistake and also I am trying to make it right with good intentions. & Being kind and having faith is the key. Also praying while you make everything right has worked for me.
I am new to your program, I regret constantly not having a child when I could have , and it was the ideal moment, it would have improved things with my family, husband, I would have been connected with more people, and I feel it would have made my husband happy, and now that I am 66 I would have a child 26 and something to look forward to in life.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion and sending love ❤️❤️
Hi Terry I have been searching for something like this some kind of video to help me cope or get rid of my regrets and I really like your video I'm going to get the five step guide and I'm pretty sure it's going to help me because your video helped me already and thank you and God bless you YAHWEH YAHSHUA for what you do thank you
I'm so glad the video was helpful for you and hope the guide is, too ❤️
Wow…i really needed to hear this. Stuck in the cycle of shame is not living
I'm glad it resonated ❤️
I was a bully to a colleague, and did not even realise that he was going through struggles. Only more than 25 years or more later,I want to ask for forgiveness. Sad I can't find him. It is difficult to forgive myself to forgive myself. Each time I find episodes of how bad I treated him...when he was such a good person.
I am witnessing you with compassion and holding space for your sadness 💕
I m from Tunisia it is the first time listening for you im deeply regretting the past mainly my mariage experience .after period of time of mariage i find out may husband in relation with another woman .At the beginning it hurts me alot but alater on i decide to move on i want to change my life . i retuned back to accomplish my study .I have learned alot from my past those horrible experiences are just stones and i want to build stairs from tghem i will move and never give up what ever happened to me alot of time ask myself why thet heppen to me but i retun back to praying and cheshing the moment and looking forward for better moments i need to move on for the benefit of me my future and my kid need strong woman who is able to do it and heal herself thanks fror you video i like your speech thanks alot again
*
❣❣❣❣❤
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️ Thank you for sharing your story.
Hello everyone! I am currently 16, and regretting my first love. When I had my first relationship, it was great. We were happy, and I thought she was my sweetheart. But, as the relationship moved on, I noticed she wasn't attached as much as she had been.. it was then when I realized that she was dating someone behind my back. That was my first impression of love.. false love. Now I have let it affect me today and harm the current relationship I have.. but I am on a journey to not let it harm me or her anymore.. because I believe she is truly the love of my life..
I am witnessing you with compassion 💕
Feeling deep guilt and regret lead me into a years long abusive trauma bonded relationship that ended in my becoming completely disassociated. It’s taken a long time to figure out what happened and I’m still unpacking it all. Deep, painful regret and being constantly shamed isn’t something easily worked through.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion and sending love your way ❤️
@@terri_cole Thank you so much for your support and validation, Terri. ❤️
I'm 21 and I wish I had been more honest in my relationship. I committed a grave mistake and it's been my biggest regret. I've been going to therapy and I hope I can grow into a better person❤️
It sounds like you're on the right path ❤️
Hey, 20 here. I also have regrets from past relationships. I was not honest either, and I lost a great person because of my dishonesty. We need to realize we’re young and we are naturally going to make mistakes in the future, but we cannot be stuck grieving someone because of our mistakes because there’s nothing we can do about it now. Wishing you well❤
This was plainly and simply incredible. I'm going to place the mentioned steps into practice now, but I can already tell just after listening that I'm feeling ten times better about my situation. Thank you.
I am so, so glad to hear that ❤️❤️
Thank you for this video and for your channel. I recently did something that hurt a new relationship I'm in and I had no idea at the time how hurtful it actually was and the position I put both of us in. Even though they're giving me another chance (which I am HIGHLY thankful for), I cannot and will not go back, because that pain I felt for me AND my partner was the worst feeling ever. It was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn about self-awareness.
Thank you for sharing ❤️ Self-awareness is so important!
Thank you for this video. I regret for things I should have said or done to my dad who passed away in dec 2023. Regrets is killing me and steal my peace. It hurts a lot. I love my dad so much.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion and sending love ❤️❤️
Excellent video. This a daily struggle for me. Thank you very much for the tips. I am very grateful that you are taking the time to record such a video. What a blessing! Much love to you 😘
I am so glad it was helpful for you ❤️
Thank you, Terri. I am so grateful for your guidance. So much has healed in my spirit since I began following your wisdom.
❤️❤️❤️
Wow thank you for this! I’m so tired of putting myself in the box. Time to break free!!
Woohoo!!
Thank you, terry!
Something you said resonated with me and it made me realize that those ruminations take me away from being present and it was not being present that caused me to make those mistakes😊 that certainly takes away some of the cringe and makes it more of a learning process for remaining present in the here and now
Thank you so much for sharing that insight so others can benefit from hearing it 💕
Im in my twenties now and i have a lot of regrets about who i was in the past and the things i did. I'm trying my best to do better,cried through half of what you said. thank you for your words and this video.
I am witnessing you with compassion 💕
This video is genuinely one of the best experiences I’ve had. It really helped me figure things out and sort out my internal feelings and struggles
I am so glad to hear it helped you ❤️
@@terri_coleThank you!
I’m 22 and made one of the biggest regrets that not only impacted me, but my parents his family and mine. This happened this year in October and it’s been so hard for me to move on and forgive myself. This video helped a lot and I will be working on the guide❤
I am witnessing you with compassion, Dani, and hoping working through the guide helps 💕
I ruminate on my major mistakes in my career, relationships and finances. Your presentation is impressive - linking my regretful moments to diminishing my personal power in the present. Thank you for your wisdom. Your image of bashing your head against the wall is memorable.
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️ Glad you found this video helpful!
Thank you for your guide, Terri!
Thank you so much, Terry, for your excellent video. It is the first video that speaks directly to my heart. I am a high empath with enormously high levels of perfectionism and shame and guilt complex. I have struggled with nauseating OCD that is centered around guilt complexes and idea pressures in who to be and what to think. I am so thankful that you said the things you did. Thank you.
I am witnessing you with compassion and sending love 💕 Glad this resonated with you.
What a great video. Everyday I wake up and for like an hour I obsess about past failures and regrets. I mean I finally achieved my dream profession and things are looking bright for me, but can’t let go sometimes of past regret.
I see you ❤️
Wow I really needed this!!! I do this every time I’m with people, what if.. do they like me.. drives me cry!!! 😭
Hello I’m new my name is Josh and I was addicted to opioids for 20 years I’m now 34 with almost 3 years clean. I hope that by watching this and more of your videos I can learn to understand my fear of guilt. Possibly understand why it’s so heavy on me.
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️ and cheering you on for being nearly three years clean! So amazing 🙌
Would you like to say more about your fear of guilt? If not that's totally okay, just wanted to see if I could point you to any of my other videos that may be more helpful with that.
Thanks for this video. Needed the encouragement. I left my stable and good paying job in my home city for a new one across the country in search of a change of scenery, weather, and lifestyle. I regret it deeply because I didn’t realize how much I would rather be surrounded by family and loved ones and live a simple life. I uprooted my family’s life for selfish and stupid reasons because I wanted to live that beautiful instagram lifestyle. Even got into debt and took out retirement money to move. Now I’m trying to find a job back home and move us back.
I am witnessing you with compassion and hoping you find a job back home so you can return ❤️
Thank you for your videos they are very helpful . I'm still trying to leave all regrets and baggage ....so sending my thankfulness to you.❤
Thank you for being here, Stephanie ❤️ So glad these videos are helpful for you.
I made a mistake two days ago. I am 29 and I did drugs and I hated it. My thoughts afterwards were: why am I doing this? Why am I treating myself like that? My body is my temple and I made one mistake that is eating me from inside out and I can’t forgive myself for this. I know I’m not gonna do it anymore because I simply hated it but the fact that it’s done hurts me I lot.
I am witnessing you with compassion 💕
Im a 19 yrs old. I mostly do my projects and everything perfectly and im know for my mature actions and behaviours and my good logical mind and i guess sometimes i forget that im 19 and everyone's reaction towards what i might do wrong is kinda intense and that makes me feel terrible. I am very precise and make sure everything goes smoothly and perfectly , but sometimes i wish i was clumsy so that people wouldn't act so surprised when i made a mistake in something.
I am witnessing you with compassion 💕
“We did the best we could with the level of consciousness “ ooh healing ❤️🩹
Exactly ❤️
There is a period between April 2019 till August of 2020 that I wish I could delete from my life. Those 15 months haunt me all these years later. I hope that I can forgive myself and let go of the mistakes I made.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion and sending strength your way, Ifrah ❤️
Same time period i hope we both come outof it'
Thank you Cole, this is exactly what I need at this time in my life.
Glad it resonated ❤️
❤ thank you so much,your words Are So important, healed And full od love,like Mother to her children❤😊 Bless you God❤😊
Thankyou, I'm really crying rn because of my decision..
I am witnessing you with so much compassion ❤️
Thank you for this video. i find it very helpful. I will follow your advice and start a journal about it. I am 67 years old and have been obsessing about regrets. I really need to do something about it.
I am so glad you found it helpful 💕
Looking forward to watching more, I’ve not been able to get out from under my guilt and shame and it has been feeding strong SI that’s only been getting worse, to make things much worse the people I’ve betrayed / hurt in the past refuse to let me forget it - they define me by my past mistakes and insist that they’re being angelic to me yet I’m narrowly escaping my own desire to not be here any more daily.
I am so sorry to hear you're struggling with people in your life defining you by your past mistakes. If you believe you are in danger of harming yourself, please reach out to a professional therapist, a friend, or a trusted member of your family or clergy so you are not alone during this time. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK. The call is free and confidential, and the crisis workers are there 24/7 to assist you. I have other free mental health resources listed on my website here: terricole.com/gethelp
I hope you find this resources helpful, as I am unable to offer any personalized assistance. I am sending you so much strength and love to get through this. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you, Terri!!!! I really appreciate your time creating this episode + guide. Thank you!!
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Thank you Terry, just knowing I'm not alone is enough. I was able to speak to multiple people who support me. And now I want to let go and this video popped up! ❤
That is so amazing 💕
I don't fall too often into a regret trap but from time to time it will hit me hard the things I didn't do. As I get older I think about a time in my future where it really will be too late to do those things.
I see you 💕
Speechless.. this is what i wanted to know for years to overcome my depression over my missteps n mistakes… jus the best ever information received… 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm so glad it resonated ❤️
So happy for ur reply❤❤❤
I regret not being brave enough to ask someone, to take risk and pursue a challenging career, to take a lift of faith and have more adventurous life.
I become rotten in the corners of my room sulking, I try to change but I revert back to my bad habits now I'm gonna try again I wish things go well❤❤
I am witnessing you with compassion and cheering you on 💕 This video on why we self-sabotage may be helpful as well: ua-cam.com/video/Rg7UZO_L_Wk/v-deo.html
this video is made for me ,... my life is one of regrets and wishing i could go back in time
I am witnessing you with compassion 💕💕
I normally dont think of past regrets but i recently had a dream about an ex i cheated on. Now im ruminating on the past because i loved him so much i was just to scared to get married at that time he was leaving for the militaryand i still had 2 years of high school. I have learned alot about this but i still cant get it out of my head and im even in a relationship where i have been with my husband for 13 years. This makes no sense. I did finally forgive myself for hurting someone. I thought about apologizing but i feel that would create another mess i do not want to get into so forgiving myself is the best i can do.
I am witnessing you with compassion and holding space for you ❤️
always stepping in it, all my life.
I do this all the time. I hope that your suggestions work.
We are given an owners manual! Great talk Miss Terri 💘
Im 39, single, childless, have made little effort to find someone in my late twenties and 30s....my career has been a series of unfortunate events that have resulted in no growth due to my stupid mistakes...i am the definition of regret. I like your message though.
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️
i feel the same,and so alone
You are still here, stay strong, although it feels bad a lot of people must also be in this position. We aren't all given the tools to thrive or know what to want or how to get it, nor do we always have that motivation or ability.
I miss my ex husband of 18 Years. We were both emotionally reactive a lot of dv was involved until he decided to divorce me one day. It was blindsiding. I was angry. Still am bitter. Now I realize our love was intense and we could not communicate. I miss him miss my family life but nightmares and guilt and regret is eating me alive.
I want to forgive myself but I can't. I have wronged him and he has wronged me . I want to be at peace with myself
Very helpful thank you ❤️❤️
Thank you for this valuable content. Keep doing your great job!
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I am regretting about my past...and it is becoming deeper & deeper because the present time is also becoming the new regret.
(a regretting cycle)
I am not seeing growth..
Some regrets just ruin my current life ..
And I m about 19.
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤
feeling this rn and im 24
you have a whole lot of life ahead of you so experience it and youll be okay
@@serene1486 hope so and u too
Thanks and blessings to you ❤
I'm 33 and I feel like I've done too much, I have just retreated from life because I'm scared I'll sdo something that will build onto this huge mountain of regret that's on my shoulders.
So much shame and guilt.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion and sending you love, Charlotte ❤️
I keep regretting why I was wronged/ blamed / mistreated I regretted things that were done to me . Thanks for this vide❤
I am witnessing you with compassion 💕
Hi im violet. I recently said things to my adult son did I really wish I had not said. I didn't think of how hurtful it was until after the fact. It also made me realize I have resentments about some of his decisions and actions
I am witnessing you with compassion, Violet ❤️
I have the deeply held ones that you talk about. I’m wondering now about the tiny ones that show up in conversations. I find myself regretting saying things because the timing was off or i get a weird look in response, or sometimes even when there is silence. It’s not deep regret but it can put me in my head where I berate myself, when i am truly just am seeking connection.
I am witnessing you with compassion, Bridget ❤️ It can be okay to go back to someone and apologize for saying something during a conversation if you felt it wasn't received well. Or, if you notice it in the moment, you can catch it and make amends on the spot. However, if it wasn't anything offensive, you might just practice transforming that inner critic into something more compassionate. "I am trying my best, I am just seeking connection. I'm a work in progress." I have a video about this here: ua-cam.com/video/aF2xbwKdgi8/v-deo.html
@ i am grateful for your thoughtful reply. It feels like the inner critic at work more than the words that i say… but as a recovering pleaser, I can be too focused on them and their reaction than to my inner state of being. Thanks for breaking down this complex issue and for all you do for so many of us ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Brilliantly helpful vid, got the guide,many thanks Terri. What a good soul you are
So glad it was helpful Johny ❤️
This session has been very interesting, informative and helpful, thank you...
You are so welcome, Lynette ❤️
great video I am 48 just lost my job after 15 years from drinking. and the last 6 months its all i can think about is how i have stuffed up my life so bad. Trying to move forward. your video has really helped me
I am witnessing you with so much compassion ❤️
thanks Terri . This video was really helpful.
So glad it was helpful for you!
Terri, you are so right on. Thank you.
❤️❤️
I think I could have been successful forgiving myself but I’ve had too many humans around me who make judgment and shaming a sport. I realize this is probably not typical, but it has been my experience. I tend to be my harshest critic but I also know I was cut off by the knees when I was decimated by grotesque abuse as a child. Knowing what I know about that I believe I am a miracle. But bullies seem to follow me around and I’m already burdened with shame and I am easily trampled.
I see you, feel your pain, understand what you’re going through. I know it’s not much, but you are not alone my friend. Keep fighting on.
I am witnessing you with so much compassion and I am so sorry to hear about the shaming and judgment you're experiencing from others 💕
I have so many videos on my channel about self-love and boundaries, but I believe it a lot of it comes down to our relationship with ourselves, because it is the most important one we will ever have. How we treat ourselves sets the bar for how everyone else will treat us. And this is made so difficult when we've experienced abuse in childhood and don't have proper support. I believe you are worthy simply by virtue of being alive. 💕
@@terri_cole Thank you so much for your kind response to my comment. I shouldn’t leave so much of myself in a UA-cam comment but I just can’t help it sometimes. Your thoughts are very comforting to me. Thank you 🙏
@@ZeCahli Thank you for taking the time to offer support. It means a lot. 🙂
❤️ You can always go back and edit anything if you don't feel comfortable with it. Remember, we have the right to change our minds and course correct!
Thank you Terri! This really helped me today. I've been struggling and finally feel some relief after watching your video. Bless you.
I am so glad it was helpful for you ❤️
Your hair looks beautiful
Thank you for this❤️
💕
My family nor my sons regrets nothing that they have done to me... and in the other hand... I regret EVERY SINGLE DAY.. the bad things I have done..
So imagine my emotions...
I am witnessing you with compassion, Luisa 💕
I've been feeling guilty for things i did when i was younger and I'm 17 now and when i was younger the things i did and said i didn't realize were wrong at the time and didn't think about consequences and i feel like even at the age i was i should've known better i just didn't.
We don't know better until we do- no "shoulds" about it ❤️ I think you deserve that grace and compassion and hope you can give it to yourself.
I’m new to this channel I have one regret that I made in my past that I shouldn’t have and it was being in a very toxic relationship it drag me down because I was blind by love I had rumors in middle school and high school telling me that I shouldn’t be with him because he had bad mental health issues this happened when I was 13 to 14 years old but now I’m 19 and it still gives me ptsd until this day🤔
I am witnessing you with so much compassion ❤️ Toxic relationships are hard enough to deal with as an adult- children are rarely fully equipped to deal with that. But what you know now from having that experience can protect you, too. ❤️ I have a short video that speaks to this, too: ua-cam.com/video/jiX4YKt8bKI/v-deo.html
Thank you Doctor.