How to RESIST becoming EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED: get a poker face

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  • Опубліковано 24 гру 2024

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  • @psychacks
    @psychacks  Рік тому +212

    It is extremely important that men resist becoming emotionally attached to any given woman until she has been appropriately vetted for a relationship. If they allow their attraction to dictate their emotional involvement, then they might eventually have to choose between what is right and good for them, and what they have already decided to love. This is a painful choice that can be avoided with a little restraint and discernment. In this episode, I'll talk about how to do this.
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    Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
    #psychology #dating #relationship

    • @marguskiis7711
      @marguskiis7711 Рік тому +2

      TBH, theoretically you was right but the practical advices were bullshit pretty much.

    • @SlutlanaPornova
      @SlutlanaPornova Рік тому

      I thought you were spot on, also practical. "Don't be stupid" is excellent advice too many (young) men do not take to heart anymore. They let themself get played and "hooked" by the first hooker who gives them the eye. My only remark would be about the "minimal 6 months" time frame. Personally i would move that into the direction of 1 year.

    • @ahartov87
      @ahartov87 Рік тому +3

      You recently posted a video on the men's double blind and how to flip the script into the "recruiter - candidate" dynamic - when will you be posting the videos on how to effectively sell the candidate and pull back, as you described? Excellent videos, all of these. So clear and so accurately distilled, truly useful.

    • @YellowKing1986
      @YellowKing1986 11 місяців тому +1

      The Achiles joke was legendary.

    • @assyrianrelief
      @assyrianrelief 11 місяців тому +8

      Broken people play manipulative games like this. Secure people are transparent, upfront from the start. Sure, take time in getting to know someone before investing 100%. It’s called being WISE!! Something most men have difficulty with because their sex drive clouds their judgement and leads the way. Whose fault is that? The woman or yours? Take some responsibility. Learn discernment and stop blaming women for your poor choices. There are shitty women and there are good women. Learn the difference and choose wisely.

  • @alphastrongman6879
    @alphastrongman6879 11 місяців тому +1090

    "If you spend more and more time with the mental construct of a woman in the privacy of your own consciousness, you are basically training yourself to fall in love with the idea of who she is"- Dr. Orion T. I'm never leaving this quote behind.

    • @alvesrabelo4369
      @alvesrabelo4369 10 місяців тому +6

      Up!

    • @randoomly39484
      @randoomly39484 8 місяців тому +4

      2❤1😊

    • @taylorc2542
      @taylorc2542 6 місяців тому +23

      I did this when I was 21 and believed in love. It's a young man's mistake. Now I have the opposite problem; I haven't had so much as a crush in 15 years.

    • @teezo2917
      @teezo2917 6 місяців тому

      @@taylorc2542which do you prefer?

    • @smokingcrab2290
      @smokingcrab2290 6 місяців тому +18

      A woman will show you who she really is after 3 months or so. And when she does, believe her.

  • @josiah5776
    @josiah5776 Рік тому +1754

    If she's not around, don't think about her. Best piece of wisdom I have received in probably 5 years. I'm a mature man and still fall into this trap. It can really F up your day, or week if you start doing it.

    • @bradbettis9210
      @bradbettis9210 Рік тому +38

      great wise tip

    • @marguskiis7711
      @marguskiis7711 Рік тому +66

      If you do not think about her all the time you will get bored of her soon and this is the end. A man can not stand his own lukewarm feelings. Thats the reality. A man wants the true hardcore feelings. If the feelings are lukewarm from start then there is no future. Fact.

    • @marguskiis7711
      @marguskiis7711 Рік тому +9

      ​@@bradbettis9210 nope. Its a stupid tip.

    • @josiah5776
      @josiah5776 Рік тому +21

      @@marguskiis7711 I disagree. I don’t think it is stupid at all. Just because it may not work for you …

    • @josiah5776
      @josiah5776 Рік тому +14

      @@marguskiis7711 Not necessarily true. Balance is important, but hey, do whatever works for you.

  • @chrisolson84
    @chrisolson84 Рік тому +1640

    "If you're looking up to her, she's looking down on you" well said 👍

    • @nfvjgrofgjvoldlkgvlo
      @nfvjgrofgjvoldlkgvlo Рік тому +30

      as a woman I FULLY disagree

    • @SPACEDOUT19
      @SPACEDOUT19 Рік тому +161

      @@nfvjgrofgjvoldlkgvloand thats why no one should take anything you say seriously. women just say stuff to make them look good and caring. we know your true nature.

    • @asaojohnston8235
      @asaojohnston8235 Рік тому +60

      100% agree women are righteous and don't even realize most of the time they talking gibberish

    • @chrisolson84
      @chrisolson84 Рік тому +18

      Chill out guys, I'm not here to bash women, just understand them better. Take your hatred somewhere else.

    • @Khan-rz8qi
      @Khan-rz8qi Рік тому +62

      @@chrisolson84 Bro what?🤣🤣since when is speaking facts hatred? Get your soft ahh outta here🤣

  • @AmiFF54
    @AmiFF54 12 днів тому +1368

    The fact that nobody talks about forbidden books on Revandles is so crazyy

    • @OscarNew.1
      @OscarNew.1 10 днів тому

      This website was a great find! I purchased a book that’s already making a positive impact on my mindset. Fingers crossed it helps me overcome my fear of approaching women.

  • @rayrwyr
    @rayrwyr Рік тому +788

    A wise grandfather said: "Love her but do not be in love with her". That applies for the entire length of the relationship. If she can't do any wrong, then you fell in love. Big mistake.

    • @marguskiis7711
      @marguskiis7711 Рік тому +20

      How you can love if you never fall in love? Theoretically it is possible BUT if you never was in love then the relatiinship will not last in todays world. Just because a man can not stand his own lukewarm feelings. It was possible in the ruram society where it was impossible to divorce.

    • @rayrwyr
      @rayrwyr Рік тому

      @@marguskiis7711 -- Men need women for passing on his genes to the next generations. That's the only real need men have for women (to do procreational s3x with). Everything else (recreational s3x, companionship) are nice to have. But falling in love is always disastrous for men. So men must get r-pilled. That will protect them from falling in love.

    • @carlosemiralonso7997
      @carlosemiralonso7997 Рік тому +46

      @@marguskiis7711 What i imagine the sentence means is: if you had a father or a mother that you love. Thats love, not falling in love. You care for them, you are capable of see they can do wrong.
      You can love someone the same way, without putting anyone at God's altar. Like a saint or something.

    • @MitsurugiR
      @MitsurugiR Рік тому +13

      Then what is the point? Might as well not waste time and resources on love with that in mind.

    • @rayrwyr
      @rayrwyr Рік тому +40

      @@MitsurugiR -- love is a modern artificially imposed requirement in modern marriages. It has no ground in reality. It is created by novels and movies. Throughout history, people got married without considering love as pre- requisite. Those marriages lasted forever. Love is real but it is neither required nor sufficient in a successful marriage.

  • @JohnM...
    @JohnM... Рік тому +393

    This became VERY easy for me just recently, when I woke up to an epiphany that no one and nothing belongs to me, or owes me anything - that the only things I ‘own’ are things that are WITHIN my control, and everything outside of my control is temporary.

    • @elainer8288
      @elainer8288 Рік тому +19

      True, but difficult to accept.

    • @divinedestiny22
      @divinedestiny22 Рік тому +21

      Yup! And ironically, the releasing of expectations makes things more harmonious

    • @dogslife4831
      @dogslife4831 Рік тому +16

      Reminds me of Stoic Philosophy 😁

    • @learncadadia7832
      @learncadadia7832 11 місяців тому +20

      And with that realization, it becomes obvious… that you owe no one anything either 💡

    • @reiniermuntjewerff874
      @reiniermuntjewerff874 7 місяців тому

      ​@@divinedestiny22 Can you explain why, please?

  • @jcnlaw
    @jcnlaw Рік тому +286

    Experienced divorce lawyer here. “Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk away from in 30 seconds flat….” - Neil McCauley (played by Robert De Niro) in the diner scene in the 1995 movie Heat. I see too many guys get tripped up by abandoning their purpose and passions when they think they met “the one”. Stay focused. Protect yourself to the greatest extent possible under the laws of your jurisdiction. Most women are controlled by their emotions. Emotions constantly change. Divorce and family laws do NOT favor ambitious, successful men. Even if you have done nothing wrong. Stay safe out there! Keep the family courts OUT of your life and finances.

    • @guec2102
      @guec2102 9 місяців тому +4

      Best advice on détachement, dont need me (says the lawyer). Thank you for the logic sir and put into practice of the words.

    • @edR_mcd
      @edR_mcd 9 місяців тому +9

      Relationships are dead, and people are having a hard time to figure this out. When the State get the saying in relationships, you know it's done. Navigate this minefield at your own risk.

    • @Oyuki-Mayonesa
      @Oyuki-Mayonesa 7 місяців тому +5

      Oh man. I’m from the old school of thought… you just stay married. Speak kindly to each other.

    • @attroenergizer8115
      @attroenergizer8115 4 місяці тому +1

      its the mfkin pimp lawyer love this guy

    • @jcnlaw
      @jcnlaw 4 місяці тому +1

      @@attroenergizer8115 Thank you!

  • @masiurhossain1852
    @masiurhossain1852 9 місяців тому +124

    To resist becoming emotinally attached, you have to control three things -
    1. Mentally Obsessing about someone
    2. Communicating Constantly
    3. Being to emotionally Vulnerable
    These three things how people fall love each other.

    • @ninajohnson8389
      @ninajohnson8389 6 місяців тому +5

      What is wrong with falling in love

    • @masiurhossain1852
      @masiurhossain1852 6 місяців тому +5

      @@ninajohnson8389 there's nothing wrong. I have just summarized 3 points from videos and this video is about how to resist.

    • @edheldude
      @edheldude 2 місяці тому

      ​@@ninajohnson8389Women unconsciously and often consciously try to destroy men. As a man you need to be cognizant of female nature to not stray from your path (and God).

    • @AstroTheWolf
      @AstroTheWolf 26 днів тому +3

      @@ninajohnson8389 nothing wrong with being in love only thing is love is only good when they want you back when they don’t it feels like ass

    • @ronjon7942
      @ronjon7942 12 днів тому

      Yes. Check. Uh-huh. Nailed it. You just summarized my tendencies.

  • @kichakra
    @kichakra 9 місяців тому +113

    'until you trust someone else with your money, don't trust them with your heart' WOW THAT REALLY PUTS IT INTO PERSPECTIVE. Your secrets truly are more precious than your money, so why this way isn't thought often.

  • @DeltaTempest
    @DeltaTempest Рік тому +94

    I will be listening to this video for the next 10 years until it is ingrained in my memory.

    • @Hammster99
      @Hammster99 9 місяців тому +1

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @BudgetInnovation1
      @BudgetInnovation1 9 місяців тому +3

      do keep out of relationships until then!!

    • @babyelephant5098
      @babyelephant5098 6 місяців тому +3

      Same here bro I will be listening every single day

    • @reggzofficial
      @reggzofficial 5 місяців тому +3

      Here to remind you to listen again!

    • @Orf
      @Orf 6 днів тому

      @@DeltaTempest Do not look up to him cause then he’s looking down at you! Lol

  • @GreatRetro
    @GreatRetro Рік тому +474

    I never had a Father, who would teach me all these things... so it's very important for me to hear this! Thanks, Doc!

    • @kimmorrison9169
      @kimmorrison9169 Рік тому +41

      I think its rare for Dad’s to teach sons about this or in many cases for the son to listen to Dad.

    • @GreatRetro
      @GreatRetro Рік тому +9

      @@kimmorrison9169 True! We gonna have to become those kinds of Dads!

    • @NilsMacQ
      @NilsMacQ Рік тому +3

      So true for so many of us. I didn't have it either and it's tough to learn later on, but I'm happy I'm at least on the path

    • @GreatRetro
      @GreatRetro Рік тому +3

      @@NilsMacQ Aaayy, good luck to ya, m8! ^_^ And good luck to all of us who needs it!

    • @marguskiis7711
      @marguskiis7711 Рік тому +25

      Our fathers did not know anything too.

  • @Interpersonalny
    @Interpersonalny Рік тому +53

    The philosophy of Stoicism assumes that humans feel emotions, such as fear or anger. However, the philosophy preaches not to turn off those emotions, but only not to let those emotions take control. So to suggest that one should not indulge in a relationship for the first six months simply because it might hurt is a sign of weakness and fear of a man who cannot regulate and control his own emotions.
    You are also overlooking the very important fact that any advice of this type is like a double-edged sword - just as someone can suffer when they choose the wrong woman and become emotionally attached too quickly, it is also possible to overdo it in the other direction - learning to function in a relationship with a person to whom we feel no great emotion. What if, in such a situation, a man rejects a woman not because she was a bad partner, but because he never ultimately loved her, because from the beginning he learned to block out all emotions out of fear of falling into the "adorer" frame? In such an emotionless relationship, it is also easier to become a tyrant. This is because it is easier to hurt someone to whom we are not emotionally attached. This approach leaves the door open to taking such actions as infidelity, disrespect or contempt.
    You also suggest that six months is a good time "because it usually takes at least that long to reach a crisis of disillusionment, where the projected fantasy you were attracted to is destroyed by reality." I understand that we have such a thing as a "period of fascination," where certain flaws in our partners are unnoticeable to us or we are able to ignore them. But if it takes you six months to know if the other person is someone you can trust, then the problem here lies at the very foundation. We are able to assess VERY quickly whether a woman is at least a decent person. All you have to do is ask the right questions and listen. What kind of relationship does she have with her father? How does she treat people who are lower down the hierarchy than her? What were her previous relationships like? How many were there and how did they end? How many sexual partners has she had? Can she admit her guilt and apologize? Do her words match her actions? Is she lying? How does she communicate her needs and address problems? Does she justify and rationalize her negative behavior? Does she believe in god? And so on and so forth.
    The practical advice you give from the middle of the video is absolutely correct, but none of them encourage lack of any emotional attachment for six months. Therefore episode should not encourage blocking your possitive emotions towards woman, but a prudent dosage of those emotions. Less than her, so you do not fall into the frame of adorer or start acting different because of those emotion, while during this whole process you should skillfully and constantly "scan" her, checking whether she is someone worth trusting.

    • @lizzi437
      @lizzi437 Рік тому +3

      @Interpersonalny Excellent comment.

    • @MrMatthewhg
      @MrMatthewhg 9 місяців тому +3

      If you ask how many sexual partners she has had and expect an honest answer you are just being naive. You will never know, partly because they only count the ones they don't regret, or can even remember, and literally forget the others. Unless you are a porn star, it will always be a bigger number than yours, because women simply get far more offers than men do.
      And, to be fair, it also would be an impertinent question, and none of your business anyway UNLESS you were directly employing her for paid sexual services. Otherwise, you have no choice but to accept that her life did not begin the day she met you. It didn't.

    • @Interpersonalny
      @Interpersonalny 9 місяців тому +1

      @@MrMatthewhg assuming that people are dishonest about that is probably due of that you are very disagreeable person (which gives tendency to seeing people as untrustworthy) or you had some bad experiences. In my reality I do not hangout with people who lies. It is easy to me to read people so I do not have problem with dishonesty

    • @lanceroparaca1413
      @lanceroparaca1413 Місяць тому +1

      Too much text

    • @BlakeZaneGuyatt
      @BlakeZaneGuyatt Місяць тому +1

      Regrading your paragraph you almost essentially just rephrased what Orion said…

  • @SPACEDOUT19
    @SPACEDOUT19 Рік тому +300

    Life gave me this lesson the hard way. Dont put anyone on a pedestal, and know that life can change in any moment.

  • @DeltaTempest
    @DeltaTempest Рік тому +63

    A girl told me she loved me after 3 months together, and it immediately went to my head. I wasnt ready to say I loved her back yet, but once I decided I probably did love her, I lost my shit. Guess what, a month later she left.

    • @rayrwyr
      @rayrwyr Рік тому +28

      For men, being "in love" is detrimental even after 30 years of marriage. She may leave for any number of ridiculous reasons and devastate you. The root cause is always: women get bored after a few years.

    • @Straga_Severa
      @Straga_Severa Рік тому +11

      ​@@rayrwyrIf she is nervous that she may lose you, she is not feeling bored. Just a thought.

    • @ericgrosch8073
      @ericgrosch8073 11 місяців тому +7

      Please clarify your terms. "I lost my shit" could mean, "I married her then, after a month of marriage, she left with my shit." It could also mean, "We never married but I contracted psychosomatic diarrhea when she traumatized me by leaving."

    • @DeltaTempest
      @DeltaTempest 11 місяців тому

      @@ericgrosch8073 I basically started acting very mushy and saying way to many versions of, "I love you so much" and "You're the best girlfriend ever". I stopped being like the guy she fell in love with the month prior: Someone who appeared confident, non-reactive, and displayed attractive behavior. I got lost in the sauce. Took it for granted almost. This was my first real relationship so its very fair to say I had no clue what I was doing. Nor had I ever watched a single self help video like Psychacks. But after it went belly up I decided to try and learn something.

    • @nickthompson1812
      @nickthompson1812 7 місяців тому +4

      Women are there for the spark, the excitement.

  • @ConservativeSatanist666
    @ConservativeSatanist666 Рік тому +318

    Very wise words.. "don't fall in love with the idea of the person but the person themselves"

    • @maxdawg
      @maxdawg 11 місяців тому

      men are blinded by a woman's sexuality & physical beauty... they both make us 'stupid' and we make bad decisions based on how good she looks.
      women are blinded by a man's potential... who she THINKS he will become or the man she can MAKE him, ie. a project for her ego.

    • @mickeyroyal
      @mickeyroyal 9 місяців тому +3

      That really is good, been doing this all my life 😞

    • @Oyuki-Mayonesa
      @Oyuki-Mayonesa 7 місяців тому +1

      Yep. I used to get high off the very thought of my crush.
      Which is okay i guess as long as u don’t plan to be with the person.

    • @amshooketh
      @amshooketh 4 місяці тому

      it amazes me how people dont know this logically lol not rlly wise its just truth

  • @cory8760
    @cory8760 Рік тому +50

    I wish I had the courage to experience more in my teens to learn these tough lessons. Navigating this space in my 30s has not been easy. Good luck fellas

    • @simon-fk2ye
      @simon-fk2ye 11 місяців тому +4

      It'll become easier again in your forties mate! You'll be more at ease and happy in your own space and won't let drama into that space

    • @cory8760
      @cory8760 11 місяців тому

      @@simon-fk2ye thanks Simon

    • @wavesbnice1
      @wavesbnice1 Місяць тому +1

      When women are younger they are less hurt and more able to be in a relationship the right way.

  • @vizio32
    @vizio32 Рік тому +87

    “If you don’t trust someone with your money, don’t trust them with your heart. DAMN!!!!.

    • @Naomi-bw5qs
      @Naomi-bw5qs 26 днів тому

      What so you’ll only marry an accountant? Managing money is a discipline.

  • @1OfAKind-e9q
    @1OfAKind-e9q 12 днів тому +3075

    Revandles forbidden books (thank me later)

    • @CharlieTheGreatest
      @CharlieTheGreatest 10 днів тому

      I checked out this site and found a book that really resonated with me. It's been such a great read so far thank you for the recommendation! I'm hoping it helps me gain more confidence around women.

  • @marriagecausesdivorce7540
    @marriagecausesdivorce7540 Рік тому +320

    I think that people that are emotional and start trauma bonding at the beginning probably have avoidant/anxious attachment styles. Its a bit like the shooting star analogy. The stars that burn the brightest, fizzle out the quickest. Ideally, both you and your date should be emotionally stable and have secure attachment styles.

    • @Tom-vq2hw
      @Tom-vq2hw Рік тому +54

      But realistically, you won't. The world's full of broken people, not perfect people

    • @thepragmatist
      @thepragmatist Рік тому +7

      Agree. It takes time to get to know a person.

    • @Tgogators
      @Tgogators Рік тому +9

      A good argument on the importance of being "friends" first. It's the PUA lifestyle that pushes that whole "Don't wait too long to make a move, etc"I challenge guys reading this to poll their female friends on annoys them the most about guys in the romantic context (or the pursuit of it) it will likely be something “he always wants to rush things”@@thepragmatist

    • @JohnM...
      @JohnM... Рік тому +2

      This right here!

    • @kodeh7931
      @kodeh7931 Рік тому +11

      Truer words have never been spoken. I’m an anxious style married to an avoidant

  • @corby1228
    @corby1228 9 місяців тому +5

    I be done it all over 40 years. True don’t over attach quickly or she has no room to look up to you but be yourself. Let her talk a lot

  • @frant1cOne
    @frant1cOne Рік тому +162

    Men commonly ask first, but she chooses from all the men that have asked her. You can't invest emotions until she chooses you back and falls for the man first. If she doesn't chose you, then it won't work.

    • @marguskiis7711
      @marguskiis7711 Рік тому

      Usually women who choose a man are plain desperate and very problematic.

    • @Disappointed_Philosoraptor
      @Disappointed_Philosoraptor 11 місяців тому +9

      that... actually is a perfect explanation as to why mwn should wait and hold back their feelings at the beginning

    • @reiniermuntjewerff874
      @reiniermuntjewerff874 7 місяців тому

      RIGHT !! YOU have to wait untill SHE... has fallin' in love with YOU 😊

    • @BeMyArt
      @BeMyArt 6 місяців тому

      @@reiniermuntjewerff874 and both will stay alone forever as it it is now commonly 🤪

  • @1975normal
    @1975normal Рік тому +102

    This relationship instruction is a something 95% of men know nothing about.
    I wish I knew this 30 years ago.
    Thank you for sharing this Orion🙏

  • @marksandoval5361
    @marksandoval5361 Рік тому +231

    Approach and invite never pursue or chase. Once you have an early relationship going, sit back and let her come to you. Never talk about your ex's. Never talk about your fails and screw ups in life. Never talk about your weaknesses, insecurities, or fears. Not even if you've been together for many years. Vet, vet, and vet some more. Pay attention to her actions not her words. See if she is entering your frame. See if she earns her way into your life. Just because she's attractive and the sex is good doesn't make her a good LTR. Your also looking for those other qualities which are more important. Fit, feminine, friendly, cooperative, submissive, loyal, easy to get along with, genuine desire, shared values and goals, etc.

    • @RupertMcGruber
      @RupertMcGruber Рік тому +10

      Excellent post.

    • @JLMcFarlin
      @JLMcFarlin Рік тому +20

      I agree 100%. Your errors are none of her business. If you are talking about these sorts of things why not just eat a big fat booger in front of her too? If she is probing for these sorts of things just say that you prefer to focus on the future you want and what you are doing now to get there.

    • @allseeingotto2912
      @allseeingotto2912 Рік тому +1

      Great advice .

    • @marguskiis7711
      @marguskiis7711 Рік тому

      Usually women who want some man themselves are plain desperate.

    • @marguskiis7711
      @marguskiis7711 Рік тому +12

      ​@@RupertMcGruber more like some idealistic bullshit

  • @RedRed-cl7zj
    @RedRed-cl7zj Рік тому +62

    This is my all-out favorite of your videos. Every young man needs to hear this as early as possible in life.

  • @big6316
    @big6316 Рік тому +211

    I waited for 1.5 years before emotionally attaching. We made it 11 years then she ditched me basically for being too attached. Which was exactly the opposite of why my previous relationship ended and something I though I was doing good work to improve. Moral: Recreational use only because anything beyond that will only improve your life 1% in exchange for the 70%+ probability she'll make up a reason to exit with more than 50% of your shit.

    • @RupertMcGruber
      @RupertMcGruber Рік тому +45

      When we compensate for past mistakes, we tend to swing the pendulum too far. Don't do it again the other way 🙂

    • @alexandrap6071
      @alexandrap6071 Рік тому +69

      The problem is that you were never authentic. The one you were with for 11 years wanted the unattached man that you portrayed to be. She was probably an avoidant, and thought you were perfect for her…but you were not because you were repressing.
      Now, you make the same illogical (and emotionally driven conclusion) that all women are the same, and to be used “recreationally”. You think you are protecting yourself from pain, but in reality attracting the same women who will hurt you. Do the work and get to know yourself, and you will learn to trust your judgement.

    • @wreagfe
      @wreagfe Рік тому +2

      Or you got learn something from your mistakes?

    • @rayrwyr
      @rayrwyr Рік тому +29

      50% of the assets plus spousal support, plus her attorney fees plus child support -- basically 75% of your shit.

    • @ultimatist
      @ultimatist Рік тому +6

      Wrong again. Therapy will help you immeasurably.

  • @DaveSustain
    @DaveSustain 9 місяців тому +10

    I learned the hard way. Despite my brain telling me she was never the right one, heart still wanted her.

    • @finnessejets4231
      @finnessejets4231 8 місяців тому +6

      We’re all a victim to this as men. Just listen to your intuition. Thats your God conscious telling you to let go of what no longer serves you. But the sliver lining is that you learned from that experience and grew from it, so it really not a loss, just wasnt for you.

    • @DaveSustain
      @DaveSustain 8 місяців тому +2

      @@finnessejets4231 Correct. Always thankful for the experience.

    • @eulabarredo5186
      @eulabarredo5186 Місяць тому

      Men are not supposed to love men are providers

  • @greendroid77
    @greendroid77 Рік тому +164

    Once again you nailed it Orion. I just got out of another 6 month relationship where the "lovely lady" was much younger and love bombed me into falling in love with her just to really find out who she really was after I let her move in with me. The break up was messy to say the least lol. You really don't know someone until 6 to 9 months at least.

    • @wreagfe
      @wreagfe Рік тому +8

      So what did you learn, if anything? Women don't lovebomb, men get lovebombed. It's on you.

    • @greendroid77
      @greendroid77 Рік тому +29

      @@wreagfe I've learned a lot from my suffering because I asked myself the hard questions. I've found out the truths about my emotional weaknesses I've carried since my childhood and how I've looked towards a woman to attempt to "fix or heal" my deep wounds I experienced as a young child. Yes I'm aware nothing can happen to me that I don't allow. I was drawn to someone who was deeply flawed as I was and vice versa.

    • @rayrwyr
      @rayrwyr Рік тому +30

      @@wreagfe women do lovebomb like crazy, in my experience. Sometimes they are genuine (at least it seemed so), and sometimes they are manipulative. Most men succumb to women's lovebombing.

    • @marguskiis7711
      @marguskiis7711 Рік тому +7

      You never know 20 years later too btw.

    • @NextLineIsMine
      @NextLineIsMine Рік тому +21

      @@greendroid77 Man, once you become conscious of how your unmet childhood needs control your romantic behavior it all becomes so much simpler.

  • @Bluntobject
    @Bluntobject 9 місяців тому +9

    I learn long ago that I can't trust any woman. There are things that I will allow The woman in my life to know about and things that she'll never know. Now I realize love is in the same category. I can allow parts of my love but not give up all regardless of the time of the relationship. Thanks Orion for helping me compartmentalize, it's been unhealthy for me all my life.

  • @PositivelyNegativeOfficial
    @PositivelyNegativeOfficial Рік тому +32

    I definitely could’ve used this advice about 8 months ago but better late than never.

  • @DangRenBo
    @DangRenBo Рік тому +16

    The first three minutes felt like an arrow straight to my heart.

  • @Septemfluous
    @Septemfluous Рік тому +82

    One of your best topics yet! I just recently made this mistake and now I'm paying for it. Luckily, I'm moving on fairly well (I'm ruled more by my head than my heart). But, you're right... it sucks. 6 months is a really good rule of thumb.

    • @rayrwyr
      @rayrwyr Рік тому +3

      A woman can easily put on act for years to make you fall in love. Once she gets her ring or once she get married, then you see her true self. The thumb rule is: majority of the women are unable to put on an act for more than 2 years. But some can.

    • @marguskiis7711
      @marguskiis7711 Рік тому +2

      Even 6 yeara does not show anything.

    • @dudufusco
      @dudufusco 10 місяців тому

      6 months is the least, you should probably aim in something like a year or more …

  • @haslamz
    @haslamz 3 місяці тому +7

    I needed to hear this like 10 years ago…. And again 4 years ago… still better late than never, I’ve learnt it the hard way, 1 divorce, I broke off an engagement, ghosted some women… to finally land one that’s almost perfect for me… didnt rush in, did a family background check on her and that very act itself lends me more respect for myself and perhaps… the woman too. Knowing that she passed by good vibes checks and tests…

  • @EduardoMartinez-ys6fb
    @EduardoMartinez-ys6fb Рік тому +86

    I was with my wife for over 38 year before she passed away from cancer. You've got to get emotionally attached because that is what a committed relationship is all about. What's the point otherwise? A relationship without emotional attachment is not a relationship, it's friends with benefits.

    • @IndyMotoRider
      @IndyMotoRider Рік тому +22

      It sounds like you didn't watch the whole video

    • @lizzi437
      @lizzi437 Рік тому +21

      Very sorry for your loss. You are correct. If there's no emotion, what's the point? Either you've got a relationship or you don't. And you can only protect yourself so much. What if a guy waits 6 months before attaching and she dumps him in the 7th month? Love is risk. Take the risk of getting hurt early so you can either love hard at the start or move on to the next opportunity quick. Otherwise, you could waste 6 months of your life and possibly miss out on someone else you could have met.

    • @LittleMew133
      @LittleMew133 Рік тому +9

      I think the danger is in misplacing the emotional attachment via falling for fantasies; perhaps, in people who don't actually want committed relationship with you; perhaps, in someone who doesn't see or accept you for who you are. Once you find the right person, after you yourself can love an accept yourself - maybe it's 6 months or 6 years, hope it's not 60 years, it would be worth-while.

    • @KingCoCo
      @KingCoCo Рік тому +18

      Falling too early was the point of the video. Sorry for your loss by the way.

    • @SD-mi2vc
      @SD-mi2vc 11 місяців тому +3

      Sounds like you got very very lucky and got one that can operate outside of their base programming

  • @supremereader7614
    @supremereader7614 6 місяців тому +5

    "If you're looking up at her, she's looking down at you. Be sure before you commit!" Thanks Oryan!

  • @Frameup886
    @Frameup886 Рік тому +42

    1. Mentally obsessed - stop overthinking about her.
    2. Overly communicating - don’t be texting/calling too much.
    3. Emotionally vulnerable - Shield your heart don’t revile everything too fast.
    I think that in order for us to remain with an unbreakable frame the rules above should be always on check, good luck for us and much thanks for your wisdom again Dr Orion.

    • @mtlicq
      @mtlicq 11 місяців тому +6

      "revile"
      is not the right word.
      I think you meant "reveal"

    • @goddessglow6996
      @goddessglow6996 Місяць тому

      A robot 🤖

  • @karmad.twelve6613
    @karmad.twelve6613 Рік тому +10

    I dated a nurse for nearly 4 years and around the 3 year and 3 month mark, I told her I loved her. Thought I'd waited out that 6 month period by quite a bit, but she broke up with me because of this. I asked if my saying I loved her really ruined the relationship and she replied "it certainly didn't help"

    • @hustler-6922
      @hustler-6922 Рік тому +7

      you did yourself a favor man, take care of that heart of yours

    • @dogslife4831
      @dogslife4831 Рік тому +6

      According to Mark Mansons:
      Rejection is good, quickest way to find the person who will enhance your life

    • @llewylnmoss
      @llewylnmoss 9 місяців тому +1

      Not surprised. This is why men have to be cold. Never reveal to them how you feel.

    • @wavesbnice1
      @wavesbnice1 Місяць тому

      Dealt with a toxic woman with unresolved issues. She got her heart broken and learned all the wrong lessons. Thinks being vulnerable is weakness bcuz she was vulnerable and got hurt

  • @garydrago
    @garydrago Рік тому +42

    This is great advice bc I didn't think NEVER being emotionally invested in a woman was right (like some dating coaches say) but I also have been burned by emotionally investing too soon. 6 months will be my new minimum.

    • @neomacchio4692
      @neomacchio4692 Рік тому +8

      Go for 2 yrs. Never trust her until the 2 yr mark. Takes about that long for their mask to come off… or for the honeymoon phase to wane.

    • @thecat0079
      @thecat0079 Рік тому

      ​@@neomacchio4692honeymoon faze ends after around a year biologically

    • @marguskiis7711
      @marguskiis7711 Рік тому +5

      6 months does not show anything. Neither 6 years.

    • @llewylnmoss
      @llewylnmoss 9 місяців тому

      chasing shadows I see. It can happen at any time. There is NO time limit

    • @erwangaillard1637
      @erwangaillard1637 4 місяці тому

      You're supposed to NEVER being emotionally invested ever. Not 6 months not 2 years not 6 years even 20 years. The moment you settle, the moment your mind start to think "I'm not attracted by any woman other than her" you lost.
      That's the game. That's why men cheating is far less impactful than the other way around.

  • @yuanchiu1512
    @yuanchiu1512 Місяць тому +3

    I heard about this general idea when I was younger and it was put in such a manipulative way which always deterred me from listening to it. The way you explain it though is so good, I can apply it without morally questioning myself

  • @terencehennegan1439
    @terencehennegan1439 Рік тому +16

    This is pure gold for the younger man, to have this information say in your early twenties would save a great deal of emotional pain and more. As the old saying goes...if I knew then what I know now how differently things would have turned out. Great video 👌

    • @erikbrus8388
      @erikbrus8388 11 місяців тому +1

      The sixteen commandments of poon (Roissy) (About dealing with women) 😉:
      1. Never say 'I Love You' first.
      2. Make her jealous.
      3. You shall make your mission [i.e.job], not your woman, your priority.
      4. Don't play by her rules.
      5. Adhere to the golden ratio: 2/3. ( Ex: For every third text from her send two in return)
      6. Keep her guessing.
      7. Always keep two in the kitty.
      8. Say you're sorry only when absolutely necessary.
      9. Connect with her emotions.
      10. Ignore her beauty.
      11. Be irrationally self-confident. 12. Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses.
      13. Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little.
      14. Make love to her boldly.
      15. Maintain your state control.
      16. Never be afraid to lose her

  • @mickeyroyal
    @mickeyroyal 9 місяців тому +13

    “If you’re not ready to trust her with your bank account information, then you’re not ready to trust her with your vulnerability.” I’ll buy that for a dollar 😂👍

  • @wf4983
    @wf4983 Рік тому +9

    For me, the 3rd point is the most important: if you don't trust sb with your money don't trust them with your heart. People can lead you on easily because we don't learn to respect our heart or our ability to love as much as we learn to respect our bank accounts/jobs/careers.
    It's a strength that should not be allowed to be turned into a weakness by a con artist.

  • @turnerEturnal
    @turnerEturnal Рік тому +1

    Fuck dude this hit me so hard. Arrived exactly when it needed to not a second late

  • @alexlitt8409
    @alexlitt8409 Рік тому +37

    As a woman trying to figure it all out as well, your videos are so well put together and also help us ladies in many ways, towards ourselves and men.

    • @NextLineIsMine
      @NextLineIsMine Рік тому +17

      When you've found the proper guidance on relationships, that isn't driven by romantic delusion, the advice always turns out to be genderless. Relationships are more about our own psychology that the other's.

    • @aselyne5631
      @aselyne5631 Рік тому +3

      It's amazing actually

  • @oscarmeza113
    @oscarmeza113 9 місяців тому +2

    I’m 3 years in and have become emotionally attached. I hate it. My world revolves around her and I have no self control. I love her beyond any control. Trying to figure out how to pull back and balance out

  • @dantonio95
    @dantonio95 Рік тому +12

    I've been recently writing down my thoughts about this particular woman I'm interested in. We've had several interactions with each other, and we get along very well, but I've only recently (in the last month and a half or so) been ready emotionally to ask her out the next time I see her. I don't mind playing the long game; I'd rather be patient than launch myself into something I don't want or something that'll hurt me emotionally. Gentlemen, take care of yourselves and practice self-restraint.

  • @kristiantorres1080
    @kristiantorres1080 Місяць тому +1

    I always come here to listen to this every time I feel I'm starting to put her on a pedestal. And to remind myself that it is better to be outcome indepentent. So I will enjoy our moments together while they last, be grateful for the good memories, and learn from the bad ones. "Everyone is unique AND replaceable."

  • @milesmorales__gf
    @milesmorales__gf 5 місяців тому +14

    watching this but im a girl who doesn’t wanna be emotionally attached 🎀

    • @autotelicstate33
      @autotelicstate33 4 місяці тому +1

      @@milesmorales__gf ditto lol

    • @edheldude
      @edheldude 2 місяці тому

      Well you don't anyway because you're able to monkey-branch. Men commit, you don't.
      But you do get stuck on the men you sleep with.

  • @natureshorts6657
    @natureshorts6657 Місяць тому +1

    Wish I had all the advice and wisdom of this channel 10 years ago. Would have saved me a lot of frustration and hardship. Really great content, Orion.

  • @TT-xl2td
    @TT-xl2td 9 місяців тому +4

    Orion, you are the most informative and level headed person in the men’s improvement space. Every single video is absolutely riddled with wisdom. Thank you, sir.

  • @Tom-vq2hw
    @Tom-vq2hw Рік тому +30

    We could save boys a lot of trouble by telling them that getting into a relationship is at least a hundred times more complicated than they expect. At this point, studying all the necessary female insanity and spending years building your ship just to get into a relationship is TWO full-time jobs. Relationships were the ultimate bait and switch
    Speaking for me, I'm not interested in any relationship in which I have to perpetually suppress authenticity. That drains far more energy than it could ever give. We want relationships not just because of who the other person is, but who that other person makes us in relation to them. Who the relationship makes us. And I just can't find anything appealing about being the kind of man that women want to date. It seems a man is only supposed to be about 1% happier in a relationship than he would be single. Women insist on taking the entire pie

    • @EE12CSVT
      @EE12CSVT Рік тому +10

      Correct in all that. All I keep hearing regarding 'advice' is for the man to be someone he isn't, be fake, but then Women are fake when they come on to me. I see they expect me to put on an act for them as well. I refuse to, so they lose interest.

    • @RealTalkRS
      @RealTalkRS 11 місяців тому +1

      Well said. Either split the pie into pieces or bring another pie to the table women! 😉🤣😂

    • @FOURTEEFIVE
      @FOURTEEFIVE 9 місяців тому +1

      ​@EE12CSVT the real advice isn't to be fake but to become a man who acts like that naturally. Not only does this make you happier and stronger but also everyone around you stronger and happier too

    • @EE12CSVT
      @EE12CSVT 9 місяців тому +1

      @@FOURTEEFIVE Well, the advice I'm referring to is for the man to fake that he is and always has been a player who picks up women and treats them badly. That's the act or real person that women expect of me. It was to become that, it wouldn't make anyone around me happier.

    • @wavesbnice1
      @wavesbnice1 Місяць тому

      Being yourself is the best filter.

  • @Eddy1A1
    @Eddy1A1 Рік тому +11

    I've come to realize that I've been emotionally invested too soon in my current relationship for it to keep going in a healthy way. Great advice, it was needed.

  • @davidlawrence8085
    @davidlawrence8085 Рік тому +2

    At 9:05 these three things ......mentally obsessing about someone......communicating constantly.........being too emotionally vulnerable are how ppl fall in love with each other. That's how men become emotionally invested.
    5:40 First of all you need to guard your thoughts. If she is not around ....don'tj think about her
    If you spend more and more time with a mental construct of a woman........ you are basically training yourself to fall in love of the IDEA of who she is
    At 5:50 in general it's not a good idea to let your mind wander to things that are not present in your life. If you do this you will be where your life is not. And that's not generally where you want to be.
    You want to be where your life is.....bc at the end of the day .... that's all you really have.
    6:48 Constant communication dramatically accelerates the emotional intemacy process.

  • @djik6239
    @djik6239 Рік тому +10

    Choosing between your head and your mind is a hard thing. I have been there. But it is hard to resist sometimes.

    • @harmonykardon2116
      @harmonykardon2116 Рік тому +2

      True. Been there also. However one should objectively look at the situation and objectively regconize what's going on

  • @allthesevids
    @allthesevids 9 місяців тому +1

    Wish I had heard this advice a year ago, but very glad I've heard it now. Thank you for sharing good Doctor! Watched a dozen+ vids from you the last few days & likely going to be binging your other vids for the foreseeable future

  • @041882
    @041882 Рік тому +93

    This is outstanding advice. This channel has changed my life for the better. Thank you so much Dr. Taraban. 🙏

    • @marguskiis7711
      @marguskiis7711 Рік тому +1

      You are still single I suppose...

    • @justanothernick3984
      @justanothernick3984 Рік тому +1

      This advice neglects the ”men are more rational” argument.
      Who was the more emotional again?

    • @psychacks
      @psychacks  Рік тому +6

      I'm glad to hear it. Help spread the word!

    • @JohnSmithEx
      @JohnSmithEx Рік тому +1

      Agreed. I've subscribed to this channel for about a month, and I am continuously blown away be the sheer mass of wisdom that is packed in each episode. This can't be a coincidence. Dr. Taraban is putting tons of work for the preparation of his material.

    • @larryrobx
      @larryrobx Рік тому +2

      @@JohnSmithEx 2 year subscriber here -- back to the very beginning. I second your opinion. Also, the trajectory over this period has been pretty awe-inspiring. Powerful insights and presentation from day one. But, growing more confident and impactful with every single lesson Dr. Taraban publishes here on YT.

  • @justinsantos9405
    @justinsantos9405 Місяць тому +1

    Holy shit! Right on the money dude, I've been awakening to my true masculine energy for a long time and everything you said is everything I'm experiencing right now and I thank you for the mental image you're able to paint with your words. We as men need to realize what we are and stop letting our emotions get the best of us.

  • @BS_Profile
    @BS_Profile Рік тому +75

    I think this is one of the worst problems in modern dating. Guys will borderline worship women purely for their looks and get overly invested way too soon. This also blows women's perceptions of their own attractiveness out of proportion so you get 6s thinking they're 8's. So they end up thinking they're too good for their equals, which breeds more scarcity for men, which makes men overvalue womwn for their looks even more. It's a cycle that has ruined modern dating.
    Guys have to try to remember what type of person she is if you take away her looks.

    • @rayrwyr
      @rayrwyr Рік тому

      Women respect men whom they fail to seduce.

    • @nickg2431
      @nickg2431 11 місяців тому +5

      Or even what she may look like in 10 years.

    • @erikbrus8388
      @erikbrus8388 11 місяців тому +9

      The sixteen commandments of poon (Roissy) (About dealing with women) 😉:
      1. Never say 'I Love You' first.
      2. Make her jealous.
      3. You shall make your mission [i.e.job], not your woman, your priority.
      4. Don't play by her rules.
      5. Adhere to the golden ratio: 2/3. ( Ex: For every third text from her send two in return)
      6. Keep her guessing.
      7. Always keep two in the kitty.
      8. Say you're sorry only when absolutely necessary.
      9. Connect with her emotions.
      10. Ignore her beauty.
      11. Be irrationally self-confident. 12. Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses.
      13. Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little.
      14. Make love to her boldly.
      15. Maintain your state control.
      16. Never be afraid to lose her

  • @adamkuenzel1878
    @adamkuenzel1878 13 днів тому +1

    Years ago I came up with some simple advice for myself when I go on solo camping trips. “Don’t do anything fast and don’t do anything stupid.” I managed pretty well on those adventures. I will endeavor to adopt this advice in dealing with my romantic interests.

    • @arshr6964
      @arshr6964 11 днів тому

      straight up bars man

  • @adonisaguiar2388
    @adonisaguiar2388 Рік тому +18

    Fantastic video. I have done this with every woman I have ever been with. (Probably an anxious/attachment style I have that I saw on a post here) My last one was very painful because it burned bright in the beginning and then fizzled out like a dying star and I still have strong feelings for this woman. Thank you for this video Dr. Taraban, this content is really helping me. I will contribute financially as soon as I can.

  • @JFDA5458
    @JFDA5458 11 місяців тому +1

    Couldn't agree more, and speaking from experience I know how devastating over attachment to a woman can be who does not care for you and sees you as nothing more than a play thing for her amusement.

  • @TheGuitarMonk
    @TheGuitarMonk 8 місяців тому +3

    There are a lot of folks on YT giving advice - this gentleman stands out. Really substantive.

  • @level_ken5231
    @level_ken5231 11 місяців тому +2

    I have finally started to learn to manage my thoughts and expectations of/for myself after surviving a few relationships with toxic women. I’m grateful for my experiences and continued growth. I have this female friend who is attracted to me and we work together. But I have never outwardly or verbally shown attraction to her, just consistent friendship and respect for her as she has for me. We meet each other where we’re at and we help each other grow. I have the discipline to not make a move on her because we’re great friends, and I wouldn’t take advantage of that. She respects my boundaries on this even though I see the way she looks at me, and that’s something I admire about her.

  • @kenyongibson3059
    @kenyongibson3059 Рік тому +4

    THIS out of all his videos that I have watch is some of the best. This is almost some of the best father to son advice.

  • @GrantBotes
    @GrantBotes 11 місяців тому +1

    Thank you. I wish someone had helped me understand this 20 years ago. It would have saved me 15 wasted and lost years, and 10 years of broken heartednes. Thank you for helping the next generation.

  • @Candlelight787
    @Candlelight787 Рік тому +4

    I don't always agree with Dr. O about certain topics but this one is ON POINT!

  • @DwyaneWadeCounty
    @DwyaneWadeCounty Рік тому +2

    I learned this from dealing with a diagnosed BPD woman. She taught me the most valuable lesson

  • @samsarfo424
    @samsarfo424 Рік тому +3

    Mind first before your heart..Stay cool and allow her to be emotionally involved. NOTED!

  • @a.modestproposal2038
    @a.modestproposal2038 9 місяців тому +1

    Very grateful for this video. And as men whose attachment is inexorably amplified by sex, be very guarded about that too.

  • @oo9276
    @oo9276 Рік тому +10

    Men...i will go as far as a year.. PLEASE VET YOUR WOMEN. They will all give you their interview selves. Once they get comfortable , you will see the red flags.. I PROMISE.
    MOST women will try and rush the relationship especially if ypur a valued guy. Go on your time frame, not theirs. If she doesn't follow your lead then its time to let it go. DONT STRESS IT. SOMEONE will appreciate your vaule. .

  • @edwardwallace1633
    @edwardwallace1633 Рік тому +2

    Nailed it!
    I don’t talk to women about other women and my mistakes in life!
    I believe all information can and will be used against you
    In my experience, women are the best listeners and study you if they are into you
    I don’t date women that aren’t into me.

  • @zzzzzz69
    @zzzzzz69 Рік тому +3

    Not only do we need to be taught how not to get mistreated, but even more importantly how not to mistreat others, because that's where the problem originates.

  • @greenentrepreneurs
    @greenentrepreneurs Рік тому +2

    Adoring takes Courage. Saw my father do so w/ his bride every day for over 60 years. Great man. ❤

  • @kymchu
    @kymchu 11 місяців тому +4

    Love this about emotional attachment. I find this applies to me as well being a woman, and it allows me to understand both sides, and of understanding the polarity and needs that are different for both men and women.

    • @wavesbnice1
      @wavesbnice1 Місяць тому

      This doesn't apply to women. Women don't need to know the man they just need to know how the man makes her feel.

    • @kymchu
      @kymchu Місяць тому

      @wavesbnice1 personally I find it beneficial for me as well as I can understand him on an even more deeper level. Each to their own I guess. God bless.

  • @hugorabe4395
    @hugorabe4395 6 місяців тому +1

    As a man who is in the situation of suffering because of the conflict of heart and mind (getting emotionally attached to a broken woman) I could not agree more, Sir! Thanks for your work!
    This video and the three tipps are probably the best and most important I have ever seen on this channel. Simply amazing!

  • @Donnamg100
    @Donnamg100 Рік тому +7

    Goes both ways. The applies to females too. Premature emotional attachment hurts your heart .

    • @nstar1372
      @nstar1372 Рік тому +2

      @Jai2ezthat isn’t true

    • @EcoworksFL
      @EcoworksFL Рік тому +1

      ​@Jai2ezhe's so off on this one
      Women loves being adored

    • @MisterCovek
      @MisterCovek Рік тому +1

      But women get over it way faster than men do.
      And men being the more romantic sex, we tend to idealize the woman, we tend to fall for the imaginary woman that we want, but don't have in front of us.
      So, take your time, don't rush it and see who she REALLY is. Then you can decide if you can love her for who she is, and not who you want her to be.

  • @speedweed5017
    @speedweed5017 Рік тому +5

    If I had seen this video about 16 months ago I would have made some very different choices. You're fantastic and this is perfect advice. Thank you.

  • @dysnomia1738
    @dysnomia1738 9 місяців тому +1

    this is very good advice, i wish i knew these things earlier, unfortunately had to learn the hard way. Protect yourselves and your future, gentlemen.

  • @matthewnorris203
    @matthewnorris203 Рік тому +4

    Yeah, I agree. Those are the three steps that lead to emotional attachment. He’s right fellas.

  • @baethye-actual
    @baethye-actual Рік тому +9

    I needed to hear this today. You’re a godsend Orion

  • @hrvatcowboy6420
    @hrvatcowboy6420 Рік тому +5

    If this isn’t what I’m going through to a tee. I can’t believe this content is free, thank you for the insight

  • @djgrab1
    @djgrab1 Рік тому +1

    I’ve always been in situations where the woman was clearly in love with me before I showed much of my emotional hand. Recently got caught up with a younger woman, Christian (all good but ya know what I mean) where I thought I could just tell her how I felt. Of course she strung me along for a year, sure I was seeing other women but was pretty badly infatuated with her, the invasive thoughts etc. Had never really been in that situation before, it’s pretty awful!
    Only when I got my head right around these ideas did I start getting what I wanted from her and I’m not just talking physically. Seems she’s now much happier too with what we offer each other. Thanks for what you do.

  • @davidrosenfeld5525
    @davidrosenfeld5525 Рік тому +60

    Another awesome talk!

  • @insidetrip101
    @insidetrip101 11 місяців тому +1

    This is so true.
    Its not about supressing your emotions, its that you gotta be sure you want this woman to be the one who has the power to manipulate you.
    I know its hard because all actually *want* to be manipulated, but you got to make sure the woman who will be manipulating you actually cares about you and has their shit in order to be able to properly manipulate you in the "good" ways.

  • @Focusembedded
    @Focusembedded Рік тому +19

    I make a point of setting my expectations for women very low. And looking over the phenomenon that is "hoeflation," that's turning out to be a very reliable approach. Having set low expectations, I treat them as the children that 99% of them are. And I try to be a good parent for only as long as it takes me to say to somebody else, "This isn't my kid... Do you want her back?" When I meet somebody from the other 1%, the rules of the game change rapidly. But rarely, if ever, do I meet one of the other 1%-er's in post-feminist America. Usually I'm on the road in some other country when it happens. (See "hoeflation" above...)

    • @EE12CSVT
      @EE12CSVT Рік тому +2

      It's no different in the UK. I meet someone and yet again she turns out to be another child in an adult body. I rub my eyes and the bridge of my nose and think 'not you as well' and turn round. I don't want a child even if she's 5ft 5in, got curves, and a few wrinkles. I met a very nice adult in 2007, but as she lived 5 hours away, it was a non starter.

    • @elainer8288
      @elainer8288 Рік тому

      How are these 1%?

    • @Focusembedded
      @Focusembedded 11 місяців тому

      @@elainer8288 In two words, courageous and authentic. Everything the generation of Instagram women isn’t.

  • @KingDamon09
    @KingDamon09 Місяць тому

    “If she not around don’t think about her” by far the most solid piece of advice ive heard on this app.. thank you bro subscribed instantly

  • @rob21
    @rob21 Рік тому +81

    Staying unemotional is also a good way to buy a car.

    • @lizzi437
      @lizzi437 Рік тому +2

      What's the point of buying a car if you can't love it?

    • @theodoregarcia8830
      @theodoregarcia8830 11 місяців тому +1

      Haha

    • @bigcockedman714
      @bigcockedman714 9 місяців тому

      a to b women@@lizzi437

    • @Saujas
      @Saujas 8 місяців тому +2

      @@lizzi437
      Well atleast it won't leave you stranded in middle of nowhere.
      Not the best case, but also not the worst case.

    • @erwangaillard1637
      @erwangaillard1637 4 місяці тому +1

      @@lizzi437 Actually most "real" men love more their car than their wives

  • @hughedwards1252
    @hughedwards1252 8 місяців тому +1

    Thanks!

  • @FaintAura
    @FaintAura Рік тому +5

    If only I knew about this channel this time last year.

  • @mellmathew662
    @mellmathew662 2 місяці тому +1

    Thanks!

  • @Mr.SushiFriedRice
    @Mr.SushiFriedRice Рік тому +28

    Can you do an episode on the ideal way to go about the courtship process? (From the Male Perspective Striving toward Marriage with a Woman)
    - you alluded to it a little bit with the 6 month vetting process before getting emotionally attached but I’m curious how to go about those 6 months properly dating and vetting

    • @RupertMcGruber
      @RupertMcGruber Рік тому +1

      Yes, more on this area would be nice!

    • @canelareina3795
      @canelareina3795 Рік тому +9

      You think he knows?

    • @MoodIndigoFire
      @MoodIndigoFire Рік тому

      @@canelareina3795 😂

    • @yourfavoriteentertainment
      @yourfavoriteentertainment Рік тому +4

      Why would you strive toward marriage? Why the end goal? Why not enjoy being around each other and all the time spent together instead of thinking about what the future may be?

    • @canelareina3795
      @canelareina3795 Рік тому

      Kevin Samuels taught people to ask
      "Do you want to be married?
      Do you want children?"
      Ask on the first date, or even *before* the first date.
      From the time you meet to the wedding should be no longer than six months.

  • @StoryMonster
    @StoryMonster 22 дні тому

    Mr Taraban I know this video is old and I don't know if you will see this message but I cant say enough how helpful it is. I am going through a horrible breakup that I did exactly what you said we shouldn't do.
    What you are talking about in the video created a horrible co-dependency on me and it is here again to torture me.
    Unfortunately at some point my partner decided split up with me and I have been trying to get her back in the first 3 months of the breakup. Now it has been 7 months and wants to meet and start again if I understand her correctly and although I was on the verge of finding myself again, I have relapsed to the same patterns of dependency.
    This video and the content of your site is helping me a lot. I thank you for that!

  • @brandistocker
    @brandistocker Місяць тому +1

    Only if I saw this video before... I have just spooked a 10/10 girl I was even wondering she even responds to my pickup line ,and I spooked her with my too early emotions. Not even speaking about how hard is to swallow this now... ... Guys, the message here is 100% accurate. Please learn from me. I missed my only chance in my life I guess... Now I am in despair and in an empty hollow

  • @alena8326
    @alena8326 6 місяців тому +17

    Gentlemen, I would take this advice with a grain of salt . It’s important to assess the therapist or speaker’s position i.e. is it someone who is successfully married ? Recognizing as well, that people have their own inherent biases based on their lived experience, whether they have professional credentials or not.
    You can be emotionally attached while still determining if the person is appropriate and healthy. blocking yourself from feeling emotion or connection is the road to noncommittal short term relationships , leap frogging from one person to another, trying to find an ideal that does not exist. This is the path to loneliness and noncommitment. Unfortunately therapists and psychologists come with our own baggage, and if we are not aware of our biases, we can spread unhelpful advice such as this. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, as they say I’m sure the intentions are really good behind this content.

    • @greenapplegirl6018
      @greenapplegirl6018 5 місяців тому

      @@jasonm4927 I agree with Alena in the sense I do think you need either a successful marriage/ very long-term healthy relationship to speak on the subject (as I'm sure people have various views on marriage). When you go to an "expert" I would assess first if i want to swap places with them/ want what they have, if not they any advice is taken with a grain of salt because like Alena said we are not robots and therefore our inherent biases may reflect in out views/ advice which may not always be appropriate to the nuances of life

    • @erwangaillard1637
      @erwangaillard1637 4 місяці тому

      @@jasonm4927 Never ever. Started to be invested emotionnally after 5 years. 6 months later she cheated on me and broke my masculinity I have to start from 0 again

    • @erwangaillard1637
      @erwangaillard1637 4 місяці тому

      Try to say that to the men who hoe themselves after a destructive breakup

  • @emilgabriel81
    @emilgabriel81 9 місяців тому +1

    I already know all these things, i had to learn them the hard way. But this is not about me, just listen to this guy, i can confirm he tells the truth. Just don't be like me

  • @mlokj
    @mlokj Рік тому +9

    Learned this the hard way this year. Thanks for putting the experience into words!

  • @MrP-kw3lf
    @MrP-kw3lf Місяць тому

    Got tagged on this in 2x relationships in a row, a year apart. Need to internalize this ASAP. Thanks!

  • @csikszabolcs2350
    @csikszabolcs2350 Рік тому +14

    I recently found your channel and thank you! I'm having a very difficult time, right after a breakup and this is exactly, what I needed to hear to better understand my situation. I really appreciate your advices Orion!

    • @IMYOURMAJESTY92
      @IMYOURMAJESTY92 Рік тому

      best of luck sir.

    • @xavierayayaell546
      @xavierayayaell546 Рік тому +4

      When your mind is racing and you have that pain, my advice is to meditate on the words "let go", and bring your centre back to yourself. None of us need anybody but ourselves, finding a sane/kind partner is an absolute bonus if possible.

  • @dav1d_andrew
    @dav1d_andrew 12 днів тому

    You have an excellent speaking style. I stay engaged even when I dont share the perspective. Sometimes that engages me more. Thanks for sharing your knowledge from such an unbiased viewpoint. It shows you just want people to change for the better.

  • @ljoe7038
    @ljoe7038 Рік тому +3

    You can't want someone into wanting you more. ❤