Well said! Adults stare, too, so why wouldn't kids? I find that smiling and waving works wonders for anyone staring at me. It either opens the door for them to come talk to me (and offer to help), or lets them know I see them too, and it seems to break their "trance".
Very good video and list. For me being a double leg amputee full time wheelchair user, I prefer them just start will "hello". It does not bother me when people stare. I always try to make it a teachable moment if I can. My most asked question seems to be how can I drive a car? I love sharing how hand controls work. I drive a convertible which allows me to lift the wheelchair in more easily. I think that just saying hello to people helps break the ice. Thank you for the great videos.
I love when kids (or adults) ask questions about my hearing aids or the fact that i use sign language to communicate :) i think when people talk openly the knowledge really helps dismantle the stigmas associated with disabilities
I 100% agree with you. Thank you for making a video on this topic. More people need to know that it's ok for kids to approach us or ask questions. I get mad at parents who scold their kids for staring at me.
I've gone to many of my nieces and nephews early grade schools talking about my stuff. They had all kinds of stares and questions. It was awesome every time.
Smile and say “Hello”. I think I’ve done this most of my life, and Brittney, I appreciate that you’ve reinforced this. It’s on the “offering to help” part that I sometimes struggle. Even with personal friends who have a disability. I never know when to offer. I’ll try to take the advice here and always offer and then heed the response.
We live in a world were no one says hello or offers people help, everyone is so consumed with themselves and selfish.... if your a person that wants to offer someone help and they get offended thats there problem because your a nice person coming from a good place im a quadriplegic
@@rollwiththepunches5932 I find that in my world that the majority of people are kind and considerate. They are willing to help their fellow woman/man. I feel that I am blessed to be around these people.
Children are very curious by nature, i love that setting good examples is the whole topic. I was made fun of so much in school, kids can be cruel sometimes!
Definitely prefer people to ask me if I need help! I'll politely decline if I don't want the help but I am so grateful when I do need the help and someone offers!
You should approach this the same way with disabled as you would anyone else. If you see someone that appears to be having difficulties, ask them if they need help. If they say, "yes", help them. If they say "no" move along. Don't ask if someone if they need help, if they don't appear to need it. Of course minor stuff, like holding a door open for someone should be done automatically -- disabled or not.
This was such a great video and informative for those of us with younger kids. Totally agree with you. Grumpy asshole made me LOL. Many of those around both able bodied and with a didability. 😂
Thank you Brittany very good job, informing the public on how they should act around disabled people love that keep up the good work Jim Morgan by the way, do you still process of Pete and the Alberta children’s charity?
I am the kid who wanted to ask questions, to learn and to understand, to empathize. Being told not to stare, to leave them alone, and how rude it was of me... well, I really think it messed me up. I had undiagnosed autism and hyper-empathy that had to be suppressed with a metaphorical cement block of social "propriety". So thank you for this. But I'll say that even typing my comment here without being part of the wheelchair using community still makes me feel like I'm somehow intruding. I would love for that feeling to not be a thing.
Loved this video. I walked on crutches since the age of 3 due to polio and now found myself in a wheelchair most of the time. When I was a child it bothered me more when kids stared but as an adult it doesn’t bother me at all. I agree with your views on it for sure. It bothered my kids more when others would stare than it bothered me. They would get mad at the other kids for starring. I had to teach them that it was human nature and that it was okay. Thank you for everything you do!!
Yeah it definitely bothers my kids more than me when people stare. I'm too busy living my best life to care! I honestly don't even notice half the time lol. I'm oblivious haha
I use it as a learning opportunity, I’d much rather the child inquire about the chair or disability. I always felt information quells the negative type of ignorance
I had a 3 yr old call someone weird out loud about someone with a facial deformity. It was so embarrassing. I responded "People aren't weird. We're just all unique," and the lady responded, "No, I'm weird. Just ask my husband." and laughed it off. It still embarrasses me.
#4 is important if you are the disabled. Although I find the face of uncomfortable parent so funny when they freeze momentarily not knowing what to do. Hee, hee, ... yeah. I'm an asshole😂😂😂😂
Wheelchair user here. I disagree. Staring is rude. I'm also not in this world to educate children I don't know. I don't want to talk to any random stranger and answer their questions. You wouldn't expect non-disabled people to answer health-related questions to any stranger either. I'm neither grumpy nor an arsehole but I strongly believe that I don't have to satisfy everyone's curiosity. Hint: This is also related to being self-compassionate.
I use a wheelchair and I am not grumpy, but please. I do not like being stared at any more than non disabled people like being stared at. I am not grumpy but I do not like being questioned p about my body any more than non disabled people like being questioned about my body. It is rude to connect on people’s bodies in general. All bodies. If your kids points and says any of these, would you think it is ok? Why are her breasts so big? Why does he have so many pimples? Why is she so fat? Why is he so bald? Why is her face weird? Why does he walk hunched sideways? I just want to exist in the world without having my body be the topic of conversation. Sorry.
I would absolutely think it's normal for my kids to comment on any one of those aspects of someone's body when they were little. Remember, in this video, I'm talking about young children asking questions and using those questions as teaching opportunities to develop empathy. I'm not talking about being stared at by adults. I also don't make a habit of caring about what others say to me. I have too much confidence and too much to be grateful for to let what other people say or do bring me down. I build relationships and educate when and where I can, but I'm not easily offended when people mess up and say something dumb. We are all different, though:)
I read this when you first posted it, but I decided to do some research with my clients before responding. I work with clients of all ages who find their physical, emotional, or developmental differences make adjusting to the wider world difficult. Discussing staring people, especially children with 60 clients, I found that all would consider it uncomfortable and rude. More importantly, many clients dealt with childhoods marked by derision, bullying, and exclusion. A staring child can be a trigger for these clients, producing anything from mild reproach to the staring child, to a vitriolic verbal attack to physical aggression. These are Americans from various backgrounds. My strong suggestion to you is to teach your children that staring is offensive, as are uninvited questions.
I know I get much more upset than my wife when people stare at her. In the past, I’ve sometimes lost my cool and said something, but I realize that making the other person really uncomfortable isn’t the most useful thing. Fortunately as we’ve gotten older, the staring seems to happen less. Partially because my wife walks better now with a simple aid than ever before (who knew?), and partially because most people our age now have their own “issues”. And I hope I’ve learned something from all your videos.
i stare at people sometimes and im 45 in a chair 🤣😀 kids are kids i dont care what they say or ask even adults. i think a combination of teaching kids to be polite and teaching wheelchair users to manage there emotions a bit more people get offended way to easy these days
Imo one should teach their kids to not stare at any one; i'm a punk so... when someone stares at me that use to mean "confrontation", that's not the same (stare) that trying to guess someone else's mood, IFF, Identy Firend or Foe by looking (not staring) at the person, imo that's the right thing to do; if you're curious you gonna be curious most likely until the last day, stare at someone imo that's invade that person's personal space, i think that everyone have the right to live their day without being observed as this was the zoo, imo that's not right.
Great video!. As a disabled person in the L4-L5 club, I say yes, let kids stare all they want, as long as they´re not overly rude about it, with comments like "wow, look at that disgusting man" etc... I´d much rather that children obviously stare, then them trying to hide it. Kid = >8yr
Yeah definitely younger kids lol. Gets weirder when people stare thr older they get. If someone is an adult and they're curious then I'd much rather they talk to me than just gawk at me lol
Actually kids are intentionally rude lol little toddlers always smile when you smile first but for the older kids it kinda feels like theyre thinking of memes for later lol
@@EmpoweredPara no no i don't but i was bothered many times by other people kids. Education and common sense is a big part that not all the parents achieve at the same level.
Well said! Adults stare, too, so why wouldn't kids? I find that smiling and waving works wonders for anyone staring at me. It either opens the door for them to come talk to me (and offer to help), or lets them know I see them too, and it seems to break their "trance".
Yeah I love breaking the trance lol!
Very good video and list. For me being a double leg amputee full time wheelchair user, I prefer them just start will "hello". It does not bother me when people stare. I always try to make it a teachable moment if I can. My most asked question seems to be how can I drive a car? I love sharing how hand controls work. I drive a convertible which allows me to lift the wheelchair in more easily. I think that just saying hello to people helps break the ice. Thank you for the great videos.
Yeah a,simple "hello" goes a long way!
I love when kids (or adults) ask questions about my hearing aids or the fact that i use sign language to communicate :)
i think when people talk openly the knowledge really helps dismantle the stigmas associated with disabilities
I bet kids who meet you remember, forever, why sign language is important!
Splendid how you identify and use "teachable moments" so effectively.
I try!
I've never been bothered about kids staring at me (T12 para). It's the teens and adults staring that I don't appreciate.
Yeah over 10 it's just weird!
From someone with not as serious disability, I agree with you 100%. Thank you 😊.
I 100% agree with you. Thank you for making a video on this topic. More people need to know that it's ok for kids to approach us or ask questions. I get mad at parents who scold their kids for staring at me.
I've gone to many of my nieces and nephews early grade schools talking about my stuff. They had all kinds of stares and questions. It was awesome every time.
Kids are awesome. Adults suck lol
Smile and say “Hello”. I think I’ve done this most of my life, and Brittney, I appreciate that you’ve reinforced this. It’s on the “offering to help” part that I sometimes struggle. Even with personal friends who have a disability. I never know when to offer. I’ll try to take the advice here and always offer and then heed the response.
We live in a world were no one says hello or offers people help, everyone is so consumed with themselves and selfish.... if your a person that wants to offer someone help and they get offended thats there problem because your a nice person coming from a good place im a quadriplegic
@@rollwiththepunches5932 I find that in my world that the majority of people are kind and considerate. They are willing to help their fellow woman/man. I feel that I am blessed to be around these people.
Care for people in Weelchair
Your a very attractive woman
Children are very curious by nature, i love that setting good examples is the whole topic. I was made fun of so much in school, kids can be cruel sometimes!
glad you covered this. I also wonder if you'd rather ppl ask if you need help with something, or just leave you alone to figure it out?
Definitely prefer people to ask me if I need help! I'll politely decline if I don't want the help but I am so grateful when I do need the help and someone offers!
I always appreciate offers of help!
I´m the exact same way @@EmpoweredPara
You should approach this the same way with disabled as you would anyone else. If you see someone that appears to be having difficulties, ask them if they need help. If they say, "yes", help them. If they say "no" move along. Don't ask if someone if they need help, if they don't appear to need it. Of course minor stuff, like holding a door open for someone should be done automatically -- disabled or not.
Thx. all this stuff is super informative and helpful.@@edl5731
This was such a great video and informative for those of us with younger kids. Totally agree with you. Grumpy asshole made me LOL. Many of those around both able bodied and with a didability. 😂
Hope you have some great conversations with your kids next time they see someone they are curious about!
Thank you Brittany very good job, informing the public on how they should act around disabled people love that keep up the good work Jim Morgan by the way, do you still process of Pete and the Alberta children’s charity?
I am the kid who wanted to ask questions, to learn and to understand, to empathize. Being told not to stare, to leave them alone, and how rude it was of me... well, I really think it messed me up. I had undiagnosed autism and hyper-empathy that had to be suppressed with a metaphorical cement block of social "propriety". So thank you for this. But I'll say that even typing my comment here without being part of the wheelchair using community still makes me feel like I'm somehow intruding. I would love for that feeling to not be a thing.
You are absolutely NOT intruding. This is a safe space to ask any questions!
Loved this video. I walked on crutches since the age of 3 due to polio and now found myself in a wheelchair most of the time. When I was a child it bothered me more when kids stared but as an adult it doesn’t bother me at all. I agree with your views on it for sure. It bothered my kids more when others would stare than it bothered me. They would get mad at the other kids for starring. I had to teach them that it was human nature and that it was okay.
Thank you for everything you do!!
Yeah it definitely bothers my kids more than me when people stare. I'm too busy living my best life to care! I honestly don't even notice half the time lol. I'm oblivious haha
I use it as a learning opportunity, I’d much rather the child inquire about the chair or disability. I always felt information quells the negative type of ignorance
Yeah, all kids want is an answer to their curious thoughts. Once they get that, they go back to caring less about you and more about themselves lol!
@@EmpoweredPara yes 🤣
I had a 3 yr old call someone weird out loud about someone with a facial deformity. It was so embarrassing. I responded "People aren't weird. We're just all unique," and the lady responded, "No, I'm weird. Just ask my husband." and laughed it off. It still embarrasses me.
Best response ever from that lady lol
#4 is important if you are the disabled. Although I find the face of uncomfortable parent so funny when they freeze momentarily not knowing what to do. Hee, hee, ... yeah. I'm an asshole😂😂😂😂
It is pretty amusing watching the wheels turn in their head haha.
Wheelchair user here. I disagree. Staring is rude. I'm also not in this world to educate children I don't know. I don't want to talk to any random stranger and answer their questions. You wouldn't expect non-disabled people to answer health-related questions to any stranger either. I'm neither grumpy nor an arsehole but I strongly believe that I don't have to satisfy everyone's curiosity. Hint: This is also related to being self-compassionate.
Thanks for sharing your perspective! Totally valid 👏
Before watching this video, I'll comment first. No don't teach them to stare or ask questions. They're curious, and I'm interesting.
You are interesting! I just talked about you today to a class!
I use a wheelchair and I am not grumpy, but please. I do not like being stared at any more than non disabled people like being stared at. I am not grumpy but I do not like being questioned p about my body any more than non disabled people like being questioned about my body.
It is rude to connect on people’s bodies in general. All bodies. If your kids points and says any of these, would you think it is ok?
Why are her breasts so big?
Why does he have so many pimples?
Why is she so fat?
Why is he so bald?
Why is her face weird?
Why does he walk hunched sideways?
I just want to exist in the world without having my body be the topic of conversation. Sorry.
I would absolutely think it's normal for my kids to comment on any one of those aspects of someone's body when they were little. Remember, in this video, I'm talking about young children asking questions and using those questions as teaching opportunities to develop empathy. I'm not talking about being stared at by adults. I also don't make a habit of caring about what others say to me. I have too much confidence and too much to be grateful for to let what other people say or do bring me down. I build relationships and educate when and where I can, but I'm not easily offended when people mess up and say something dumb.
We are all different, though:)
I read this when you first posted it, but I decided to do some research with my clients before responding. I work with clients of all ages who find their physical, emotional, or developmental differences make adjusting to the wider world difficult. Discussing staring people, especially children with 60 clients, I found that all would consider it uncomfortable and rude. More importantly, many clients dealt with childhoods marked by derision, bullying, and exclusion. A staring child can be a trigger for these clients, producing anything from mild reproach to the staring child, to a vitriolic verbal attack to physical aggression. These are Americans from various backgrounds. My strong suggestion to you is to teach your children that staring is offensive, as are uninvited questions.
I know I get much more upset than my wife when people stare at her. In the past, I’ve sometimes lost my cool and said something, but I realize that making the other person really uncomfortable isn’t the most useful thing. Fortunately as we’ve gotten older, the staring seems to happen less. Partially because my wife walks better now with a simple aid than ever before (who knew?), and partially because most people our age now have their own “issues”. And I hope I’ve learned something from all your videos.
Very helpful video… I agree to smile and engage …
i stare at people sometimes and im 45 in a chair 🤣😀 kids are kids i dont care what they say or ask even adults. i think a combination of teaching kids to be polite and teaching wheelchair users to manage there emotions a bit more people get offended way to easy these days
Lol! I love that. Let's teach more adults to chill out! You're so right!
Imo one should teach their kids to not stare at any one; i'm a punk so... when someone stares at me that use to mean "confrontation", that's not the same (stare) that trying to guess someone else's mood, IFF, Identy Firend or Foe by looking (not staring) at the person, imo that's the right thing to do; if you're curious you gonna be curious most likely until the last day, stare at someone imo that's invade that person's personal space, i think that everyone have the right to live their day without being observed as this was the zoo, imo that's not right.
It depends on the age of the person lol. Under 10, stare away, over 10 then don't be a weirdo, either talk to me or stop staring lol
I agree 100%!
I’m a C5/6 quad…totally agree!!!
love you youtube handle lol! It belongs on a t-shirt!
Thanks. I’ve made a few videos myself. Been working on a logo…
@@1hipcrip771 That's awesome! We need more quad content!
Please make a video on exercises which you do ?
for fitness or stretching?
Both
Great video!. As a disabled person in the L4-L5 club, I say yes, let kids stare all they want, as long as they´re not overly rude about it, with comments like "wow, look at that disgusting man" etc... I´d much rather that children obviously stare, then them trying to hide it. Kid = >8yr
Yeah definitely younger kids lol. Gets weirder when people stare thr older they get. If someone is an adult and they're curious then I'd much rather they talk to me than just gawk at me lol
Hey, I'm a cripple, stare all you want,hell laugh too. Just don't point, I hate that shit!😅
Hi have you been in contact with Makayla Noble she is a young female that had a accident like yours . Cheers Phil
Actually kids are intentionally rude lol little toddlers always smile when you smile first but for the older kids it kinda feels like theyre thinking of memes for later lol
Haha the meme generation 🤣. We definitely have to watch out for people that would rather find ways to exploit us than get to know us!
I really don't like kids.
Lol hopefully you don't have any
@@EmpoweredPara no no i don't but i was bothered many times by other people kids. Education and common sense is a big part that not all the parents achieve at the same level.
@Anita028 yeah that's so true. Many parents out there should never have even had kids!
nice one Brittney.💯% ( just smile) can i email you.?💔💔💔
Yep you can email me! empoweredpara@gmail.com