Why Kids Are Confronting Their Parents About 'Sharenting' | NYT Opinion
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- Опубліковано 6 сер 2019
- While we often hear parents caution their children about safety, this time the tables are turned. In the video op-ed above, three children confront their mothers about “sharenting.” They are members of the first generation whose entire life could be documented on social media. It’s a generation that’s digitally savvy and concerned about what parents post online.
The U.S. law meant to protect kids online (COPPA) “places parents in control over what information is collected from their young children online.” But innocent posts from parents can carry unintended consequences. Studies estimate that by 2030, “sharenting” will play a role in two-thirds of identity fraud cases facing the young generation. Parents also risk unwittingly exposing their children to data broker profiling, hacking, facial recognition tracking, pedophilia and other threats to privacy and security.
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Parents blaming their kids for having social media addictions. Meanwhile...
right like where y’all think we got it from😭
Fr
In this generation there is a huge issue of social media addiction so calling that out is justified. Not that the older generation is any better. Just don't make it a blame game ;p
Factss
Lol
When a child has to teach parents about consent we have issues.
We been having to teach parents this
THANK YOU
@@sirenthomas4595 for like... all of human history.
That’s true but... according to the law children cannot consent to anything, so the parents do that for them so... they aren’t in the right but they aren’t in the wrong either...
Tea in Korea sure, they might not be in the _legal_ wrong, but the law doesn't define our morals.
I grew up with my mom posting pictures of me and my brother without permission. We started telling her to stop when we were 12, our wishes were never respected. Instead, she would lie to us, and we had to stop allowing her to take pictures of us altogether. She still takes pictures of us behind our back. It's disgusting how parents treat their kids like they aren't human beings with their own wants and boundaries.
Your mom was wrong for doing that. I just wanted to validate that from someone out here shocked to hear these parents defending themselves. Um, take all the photos and vids you want of yourself (I mean, maybe wake up and spend more time with your therapist too), but don't put underage humans out there for anyone to see. So gross, using their children for their own need for attention.
You're right.
Veto power for kids AND special accounts where parents have to deposit money made from revenue sharing content that includes them.
Omg same
Parents can be so stupid. With ai and deep fakes this is going to be a whole other issue when sick people make ai pornography out of these kids photos.
I posted pictures of my daughter until I heard my friends talking about getting permission from their kids to post. I can’t believe it didn’t occur to me before! I asked my 5 year old that day and she said she didn’t want me to post pictures. The emotional pull to post and get “likes” was hard to give up but I’m glad I did. She needs to know I respect her and will protect her, not exploit her.
good on you mama. there are so many predators on the internet- by NOT posting her, you are doing her a huge favor!
👏👏👏
She is too young to know what she is consenting to.
@@surlespasdondine and yet she still didn't give consent
The Indian mom is like a parody of Indian moms. Saying this as an Indian child.
Really. It's sad
I just can’t believe she actually listened. I would’ve been crucified lmao
I would have been gaslighted to the point of tears. Luckily, my parents are definitely not active on social media.
My parents think they are gonna get hacked and murdered if they post online
Hack means both way btw
Yup
“You didn’t ask” what else needs to be said?
Rebecca T. Children can’t provide consent to anything under the law.
@@hussainalkatheri7427 this noooooot about law. Law does not ever dictate morals-WE ALL HAVE THE RIGHT TO CONSENT. The point... It flew over your head.
Adja Ndiaye The state determines our rights tho. Our morals are irrelevant in society.
...how do you think laws get written then? do you think legislators just roll a magic 8-ball and go “oh I guess murder is wrong now. time to go home guys.” no, laws are always playing catch-up to morals. if there’s a gap in the legal system you fix it, you don’t go, “well it’s not a law so I guess that’s alright.”
Adja Ndiaye so your the person to say that I need to ask my baby for consent to change its diaper? I’m just being realistic... like do you not think that after all the caring your parents gave you they don’t deserve any right? Just the financial cost of raising a child is expensive I’d atleast say your trading some rights so that you can have food and a roof over your head. I also don’t agree with what they said about it causing credit card numbers to be stolen there is a difference between being stupid and sharing your children’s lives online.
When I was 12, I asked my mom if I could share a picture of my face online, and she was against it because she didn't know much about the internet and was afraid of the dangers. Kinda weird to see that nowadays it's more the other way round.
my mom was the same. growing up, i was always frustrated with her that she kept me away from the internet. she would post about me on facebook, but very rarely, if ever, with pictures. just storytelling, really. but i would get frustrated bc i wasn't allowed on youtube or anything like that, and it was hard to make friends at school. while i still think there could've been a happy medium, i'm glad she wasn't like these toxic moms, and i'm goad she restricted my internet instead of setting me free on there. the internet is a dangerous place, especially if you don't know that
My mom freaked out about me sending photos (not even of myself, just of a place we were visiting) with an online friend and then posts photos of me on her public fb account...
my mom did both lol. i wasn’t allowed to have fandom accounts on instagram but would post me without my knowledge for strangers to see. make it make sense lol
Celebrities need to be held accountable for this too. I hate it when I see a celebrity parent talking about something embarrassing their kid did on a talk show.
You are absolutely right....
i'm following this couple, and they're having a baby soon. every time they talk about the pregnancy, the comments are like "can't wait to see the baby!" and all. but sometimes they talk about how they will never post their kids until they're old enough to give educated consent, and when i heard that i was so happy. they're setting a beautiful precedent!
“If it’s not on insta, it didn’t even happen”
How immature can a grown adult be?
It’s because there millennials. (Ages 20-40) welcome to the new parenting age.
1st gen of parents who are dealing with this, and i think alot over do it, some try too hard to keep up. I have kids and nobody had to tell me to minimize their social media presence till they are old enough to consent. Alot of parents brag about their 6 yr old having instagram and facebook profiles and when i look at them.like why a 6yr old need that they look at me like im crazy...
@@gem6105 She's actually 44 and she's a lawyer-turned-comedian with this sort of blunt humour so I think half of what she was saying was trying to give that dead pan humour but clearly it didn't come through well in this setting which was supposed to be a serious video on a real issue and she should've chosen other words lol.
I gasped when the mom said that.
@@MuR1017 well then I guess it’s just the media being typical prying off of questionable comments 👀
Just create a public account and start putting weird pictures of your parent on it. their opinion will change sooo fast
Excellent
That’s a good one.
They will rebuttal with “I’m the parent, you are the child” these people see as though they own their children and have the right to do as they please.
Make sure they are pictures where they look fat and have no makeup on
Omg yes!!!! Lol
My mother posted a picture of me grieving over my now-dead dog. In the photo, I was crying because it was the day we had to put her down. She did NOT ask for my consent at all, and I did NOT look great in the picture, and I honestly did not want such an emotional picture online.
Also: one time on ANOTHER picture she posted of me, one of her friends said “Can’t wait till they’re on the pole” (the picture was of me and my younger sister, who is eight.) She played it off as a joke, but it was sickening
That's so disturbing. I took a long break from social media, almost 10 years because of personal issues I didn't want to act out on social media and get validation for my pain. During that time I still have pics of my kidsbut I only shared them through text and email. It sounds primitive but I figured if the people important to me wanted to talk to me they wouldn't mind text or email. I wonder what would've happened if I didn't take that break.
What does pole mean here? I don’t understand😅
That's disgusting 🤢
Your mom needs better friends. Utterly disrespectful.
@lakshmikrithika2521 I'm unsure but it could mean a stripper pole?
“It’s because of how aware I am of the implications of the digital footprint…” Good for her! This girl is going places in life and has more sense than the majority of adults, apparently 🙄
especially her mom
Parents can be so stupid. With ai and deep fakes this is going to be a whole other issue when sick people make ai pornography out of these kids photos.
thank god my mom doesnt understand how to even use a computer
😂😂
l s
or in less wealthy countries.
l s Your mom is smart and maybe just pretended she doesn't understand.
You're a lucky one. I can ask my mom not to put pictures on any social media an i check 3 days later and there it is.
Yo same my parents from immigrants from india SKSKSKKDKDKD my dad was just asking me how to make a email
That Indian mom is seriously getting on my nerves
All Indian mom's get on their kid's nerves!!!!😂😂
batgirl_brunette yea I don’t know if she knows family albums still a thing lol
Very sad. Her daughter should have a choice of what pictures of her that are shared. Especially bikini pics. 🤦🏾♀️
Parents: “ugh kids these days are so obsessed with social media”
Also parents: “if I can’t document it on Instagram at may as well have not happened”
Telling my mother in law that letting our kids decide and have control about how many and what pictures of them end up online literally ended our relationship with her. She hasn't spoken to us in 6+ years because "if it's not of FB did it even happen? What's the point of spending time with family if you can't share?"
😳🤦🏾♀️ wow! So sorry that it got to that point. Glad you stood up for your children though. Bravo! 👏🏽 Don’t think adults really think about the consequences for children enough. Hope your MIL will see it from a different perspective before it’s too late 🙏🏾.
“If it’s not on insta, it didn’t even happen”. That’s honestly sickening
Philleen S yea she crazy
Life through social media, steals life itself.
Narcissist
Philleen S cringe worthy
I was really surprised the mom said that. That really sounded like something a 14 y/o would say.
Even the youngest kid was like “you didn’t ask” 😢
She makes a good point about sharing with grandparents but she should create an online album that’s for family members only.
I wonder how old she is, because she sounds more articulate than she looks.
@@StarLight-sl9ok yeah, totally. And if you can facetime the granparents, why can't you sent the pictures privately? And how ever did we share pictures and stories about our kids 20-30 years ago, when social media wasn't a thing... I guess ill never know...
Kids can share whatever they want but parents can't. Weird. They'll know When they have Kids of their own!
@@harshitakaur8896 we'll, the kids who share pictures about themselves have the choise to do so. These kids were not asked if they want their photos shared. About you, you can share what ever you wish. But would you like it if someone shared publicly photos of you on the toilet or took photos of you without your consent at the beach and then shared them online?
The entire point is about CONSENT. These kids didn't give their consent to their photos being shared. If these mom's would have asked "is it okay, I put this picture of you on my Facebook?" and the kids would have agreed it would have been fine. But these kids were not given the option to say "no".
I called this stuff 10 years ago when I saw a bunch of new parents around my same age doing this to their kids. I said “Just wait until these kids are old enough to realize they are essentially being exploited for likes. The lawsuits are going to be astronomical.” It’s finally happening. Hopefully society will figure out a nice compromise when it comes to over sharing their defenseless children.
I can so relate to this. My dad left when I was little. He comes back now and posts all of my recent achievements and gets praise for being a “good dad”.
🤦♀️
Don’t let him do that. He doesn’t deserve that
"If it's not on insta - it didn't happen" yikes.
Exactly. I couldn't believe she actually said that SMH
How did the daughter turn out so well with teachings like this?! Ouch.
what does that even mean
Indeed! I would like to add, for all the folks who complain about Millennials on social media, that woman looks like a GenXer.
@@TheMetrored Oh for sure. My parents and aunts who are all baby boomers spend their entire day on social media. They post all their personal information and have no privacy settings on their pages, its all just public. 🤦🏽♂️
this isn’t an argument about oversharing: it’s an argument about respecting people’s boundries and respecting your children as PEOPLE.
Findlay M Walker
apparently children aren’t “people” to a lot of adults
we seem to forget that a lot
sure, children are children. but children are also people with rights. not dolls.
Except that YOUR children are being manipulated by forces outside of your home pretty much 24/7.
While, I agree about not posting photos of one's self or other people online for privacy and safety reasons, I completely disagree with the corrupt media posing as arbitrator of familial affairs.
The media through feminism has pretty much destroyed the male/female relationship. We certainly don't want them to destroy the mother/child relationship.
Beede Bawng The attitudes of these parents are what will destroy the parent/child relationship.
Yup. So true.
"You're mine. I own you."
- Mom, on more occasions than I can count
Some of the parents not acknowledging their children’s feelings is part of our problem.
Subhanallah. I can relate to this.
I'm a Muslim girl, and I started wearing the hijab more than a year ago. Even after that, my mother would keep on posting pictures of me without my hijab. When I confronted her about it, she'd brush it off like it's not such a big deal. Some parents really don't want to admit their mistakes, or don't even see their mistakes because their child's opinion hold such little value to them cuz we're 'just kids'.
I am so sorry for you having a mom that doesn't value you and respect you enough to hear you out..
😮
Parents: you can get kidnapped and lost so easily, don’t leave the house, and don’t talk to people online, all those online friends are proly predators.
Also parents: this.
Henry Mueller no comments, this is uncontroversial
But also most parents accounts are private and are only followed by family and close family friends
TheBuildingFreak Watch the whole video. If the post something truly interesting/weird/bad, anyone can screenshot it and re-share it. And private accounts aren’t that much better, because why would you want your mother’s college roommate to see random pictures of you?
TheBuildingFreak
Y’know most crimes are usually done by someone you know in your life . . .
People could do anything with those photos . . .
@@TheBuildingFreakif the child had a private account and posted a photo of their mother in a bikini in an unflattering angle for all of their friends from school to see, would there be the same energy? (It.s okaay, right? Just friends from school, the kid knows them)
Also. The account of the parents has people that THEY are "close" with , not the child (tbh, it.s mostly about bragging, not about sharing info with close ones).
Also many predators or people with ill intent are usually friends any family of the parent. I remember, that when I was a minor, I was ok with kids my age knowing my deepest darkest secrets, but not toxic family "friends".
The youngest in this series has such a wise presence about her.
Lawrence Chen I feel like her and her mom have at least set a healthy line of communication and she’ll be more considerate of social media in regards to her daughter. Sometimes we do need someone to sit us down to let us know we’ve been bothered by something when it didn’t seem so harmful before.
She's smart
Her mom is a professor in NYC
The little lady is SO smart and astute!
people take young kids as if they were stupid but they can understand (sometimes even better than their own parents) most things.
My mother has been very guilty of this ever since Facebook existed. It was very stressful as a socially anxious, low self-esteem kid/teen to have my photos posted online for everyone to see. She cared more about getting attention than she did my feelings and continued to force pictures and post anyways. It's very obvious what the intentions are of these parents, if they just wanted it for private mementos it would be different.
I’m so sorry. I bet it is. I’m 34 and I’ve always had social anxiety, as a result Im very private online. I would be so upset if my parents did that. Sending hugs!!
The mom's KNOW they're being recorded and posted online somewhere. The parents aren't showing even half of who they are. Wait for what the kids get after the interviews :/
i feel so bad for Zoya. I hope she had a friend pick her up after this cuz her mom is definitely the type to scream at u in private.
The parent’s behaviour is triggering for me. Young people shouldn’t have to fight for their right to privacy with their own parents.
That’s why I left my mom.
True, young people shouldn't have to fight for their PrIvACy with their own parents, as a latino mom that I am, as long as they live under my roof and eat from my food I'm the boss here. Unless the parents are putting them at REAL risk by sharing inappropriate pictures or very private information I don't think they have the right to complain.
My husband is Belgian and we live in both countries: Belgium and France and here is also up to us to decided what to share or not, it's not about a kid not wanting pictures, is about being inappropriate or embarrassing pictures of ANYONE, but minors will have a huge work to try to prove their parents have no right to do so. Good luck to them. But them again, we have teachers beheaded while giving a class on Freedom of Speech, which shows how much the country knows how to deal with it's issues.
My son is 4 years old and I only have 3 pictures of him on my instagram (one per year on his birthday, one year I didn't post), I dont use much social media and I dont like to share, but that is me. This things are only for white middle class brats or kids brain washed by whites. We would tell our latino/black moms what to do or not to do and we would lose a tooth. Meanwhile those are the moms that are actually well cared and beloved until they die and we take all good care of them when they are old. White parents that do all by the books are VERY OFTEN left to die in asylums forgotten by their families. Here in Europe almost all white parents die alone despise giving all PrIvACy to their kids. I'm not raising a white Brat, here is latino and my family will work as a latino family does.
I agree I was genuinely triggered as well, it’s an extremely horrific feeling to know that you have no control when parents feel they own you
@@allwhatilove914 It really isn't a matter of race. It causes conflict and that is undeniable. You say your children have no right to complain and that and as long as they live under your roof you are the boss. That proves that you don't see them as people but as things you control. Imagine being put in that position yourself if you even can. I'm sure if you were a victim of this you wouldn't draw the conclusions that you did. Your opinion is clearly one made without though or contemplation as shown by your racist undertones, over possessiveness and inability to make sense of information given to you. You also latch on to tradition blindly believing that just because your mother might have drawn the conclusions that you draw now that they are valid. Honestly it's people like you who shouldn't be afforded the right to control what they believe is personal to them.
I agree. This is child abuse.
Little girl: “you shared pictures of me without asking”.
Mom: “oh honey, it’s called connecting! I’m just sharing pictures of you so family and friends can see you.”
Little girl: “They can call or FaceTime for that.”
It’s a sad day when little kids born into this world of social media have more common sense than the adults in their lives. Wow.
I’m glad young people/kids are able to critique these habits still!!! I was worried it would become an irreversible societal norm... a little alarmist on my part but back in 2010 when I saw my relatives and friends handing iPads to their TODDLERS, and recording every minute of their children’s lives, it was definitely a little concerning and weird. Anyways here we are
Screw this kid, obviously being brainwashed by other adults
Exactly. It’s so sad.
But it was really nice that her mom seemed like she was listening and understood what her child was saying about consent.
ikr!! or they could just send the pictures in a private group chat instead of plastering them all over the internet
I quit social media when my third child was born. I wish I hadn't spent anytime time on social media at all.
I used to get so mad when my friends would lazily post an entire camera roll instead of deleting unflattering or downright inappropriate photos in middle and high school. I can’t imagine having to argue with my own parent about this! I feel for these kids, but at least they are showing they can stand their ground.
The mom said “if it’s not on insta it didn’t even happen” I have no words
Chanah-Danae James cringe
I read this comment as she was saying it😂
The mom seemed like she was trying to guilt trip her.
Many parents say that nowadays. It's sickening, to be honest. It's plainly unbelievable how social media was just introduced less than 15 years ago (I'm not exactly sure how accurate this is), yet so many parents are obsessed with forcing memories into the public world.
that sounds like a teenager. sad
Someone should ask these moms how they'd feel if their kids took photos of them and posted them without permission. No makeup, wearing something unflattering, making a weird face? Too bad, mom. But it's cool, it's just my closest friends judging you.
That's probably the way to make them understand. Us kids just being indignant about the control parents exert on us wouldn't really work
Nice! Yes! Good point
Agreed. There's kids should out it it the test. Make a private account with fake followers or something and do exactly the same thing they're doing. See how they feel about it.
Bruce Dunn I’ve had my son do my makeup, who cares?!
my mom put a picture of my butt on facebook on christmas before
If I ever have a child I definitely do NOT wanna be posting them at all. That is so selfish and arrogant. I hate that parents act like the children are possessions that they're entitled to do anything they find "ok" with. This mentality of "I made you, you're mine, I'm always right, I make decisions for you" is so toxic. So many people have children literally just for show, like it's some social requirement.
Edit: also don't these people know they can take photos and save them in albums and simply not post them if they just want the memories?
I remember the time when my parents used to warn me against posting my pictures online, when I was a kid. Nowadays it’s the kids telling the parents to not post their pictures online…
The Indian daughter is one of the most mature teenagers I’ve ever seen, and her mom is one of the MOST immature adults I’ve ever seen.
its sad but a lot of mature kids are only that way because of immature parents. the kids have to raise and teach themselves.
@@citrus7745 and the polar opposite too. People with immature parents can also end up bring extreme versions of their own parents. It’s sad
you get it's all staged right?
Yeah basically when you have to raise your own parents because they're used to an older more immature narcissistic world without smartphones that hold the entire world's information, it tends to be a very sad state of affairs.
@@backintimealwyn5736 💯
Yikes the mom who thinks if it wasn’t on Instagram it didn’t happen.
Ugh. So gross. I can’t believe she wasn’t embarrassed to say that!
I feel like there are too many people who feel like this these days. If it is not promoted on their social media then it didn't really happen. So sad.
i would be heartbroken if my mum felt that memories we share didn’t mean anything unless they were up on social media. it would genuinely feel hurtful.
@@kimcheezy3433 smh. That's all I can say.
Mother of the year! Smh
Jaiby
👇
🙋♀️
@@mgA757 ✌️
👍
It's wild how invalidating these adults are about the child's objections to the adult's commodification of their body in front of third parties and strangers for social currency
the insta lady needs to reevaluate how she makes memories.
Why? I don't see any problems with it.
Social media doesn't last forever. Remember Myspace?
RanchoFundo but the internet does
@RanchoFundo...Myspace pictures and profiles are literally still online.
@@somemorre over the last few years MySpace has been deleting old profiles as they're gradually taking down their servers, about half the accounts made before 2008 have been stripped
This is insane. The Indian mom is such a womanchild.
A definite Auntie!
It’s like people can violate your privacy so do I I am like 🤨🧐what’s wrong with that woman
That comment about 'if I can't post it on Insta then it never even happened' almost made me throw up in my mouth. She really is so shallow and vapid that she gets ZERO enjoyment out of spending time with her family and creating memories with them. She lives her whole life trying to absorb as much attention and approval from strangers online as she can that she is even willing to post non consensual pictures of her own UNDERAGE daughter in a bikini if it gets her more likes...
She is sick in the head and this video is not cute or funny. It's disgusting.
@@biggusy25 agreed. Then again, poor thing can't exactly post pictures of herself in a bikini, or, God forbid, her husband in a speedo.
@@varun009 Exactly. Feels like she is stealing her daughter's body in a way and getting some satisfaction from it that she can't get from her own.
That's the creepy part to me. If it really is about sharing a memory, why not post a picture of her daughter posing next to a cool landmark or sculpture or something? Why a generic bikini pic from a beach?
I have been working in social media marketing for over 7 years and one thing I swear by in never posting anything personal. My boyfriend also doesn’t want me posting anything of him. You have to respect their privacy.
This video changed my point of view forever. I watched this when it first aired, and my son was 2 at the time. I immediately stopped posting him. I now have 4 children and I do not post them online. This is so eye opening and these parents are DELUSIONAL.
“If it’s not on insta, it didn’t even happen” that is exactly the kind of thing that adults paint teenagers saying, yet look where we are now.
Online you can take a screenshot of things So it very much happens
Parents tend to project onto their kids a lot, unfortunately :(
I have no Insta ..I guess, I don't exist :)
yup.
Dude this 3 parents out of millions chill. It's more parents not worrying about social media photos
Parents: consent is necessary
Parents: your my child. I can do what I want
This attitude of some people I know kills me.and I can't argue with those adults because they are older than me.🙄🙄
And then when you tell them that consent is necessary they just go “bUt iM thE pArEnT”
Yes. Very true. Children has the same rights. They are human
That's the problem. Seeing their children as property or extensions of themselves, and not unique individuals who happen to be at an earlier stage of life. Kids should have the freedom to make their own choices and to experience life instead of being treated like objects.
Exactly, it called being the authority figure in your life like a parent is supposed to be.
3:35 the mum asking if kids should have veto power over things being taken down
... I thought that was the law?
This, here is so important. I have a kid and I have never shared a single picture. My hubby and I decided early on that privacy is the most important.
When a 7 year-old has to teach her mom about privacy..
At least her mom got the message
You know it was scripted.
@@LL-wu5ui yeah I feel the 7 yr old girls part was super scripted lol but still gives us something to think about
The 7 yo did not bring her mom into this 🤣
I report my moms photos of me when i dont like them
Big power move
Grace Merritt lol this is a smart idea tho
GOOD!!! Someone has to hold her accountable since she clearly won't do it herself.
LMAO ME TOO
Does it really get taken down? I would love this
When the young girl said you did not ask that's it. No more questions asked.
Oh my goodness. So impressed with that young girl's ability to set boundaries.
This just shows how so many parents think that their children are just extensions of themselves, and therefore do not treat them as individuals with individual rights and wants.
Because you know they would NEVER post a friend's pictures without their permission. Or if a friend asked them to take a picture down, they would do it without hesitation.
I've always disliked how parents think they're so entitled to their kid's autonomy and agency. Especially of their kid's image. Hated all the clothes my mom chose for me.
We have a social media blackout on my child.
L C I agree, and it sort of reminds me of My Sister’s Keeper, even though it’s an extreme example. But it’s similar to me in the sense that the parent(s) don’t consider what’s best for their child, but more so what they want.
S S 5
That’s the definition of a narcissistic parent.
Wow. Intelligent and mature kids with parents who are neither. Poor kids.
Celia Lovett it’s crazy considering parents are always so paranoid about what their kids do online they don’t even stop to look at themselves.
I'm sure it was scripted. No normal kid talks like that...and with print outs of statistics...not even our journalists back up their claims like that.
Mia Meow
Of course to you it has to be scripted. But in reality teenagers are smart, children are smart. Why is it a surprise when we are well spoken? Don’t forget Gen Z is the most literate generation to ever exist so far.
@@tomatotortilla Well, the teens may well be that smart. But the five-year-old? Hm.
Celia Lovett
One thousandth like
I’m so grateful to have parents that dislike social media. I’m a new mom and never have uploaded baby pictures on Facebook or instagram. In fact I deleted all my apps this year and it’s been so great.
My sister and I went through this with our mom back in 2012 because we felt our mom posted too much about us online all the time, not photos only, but posts of what we have done during the day and so on.
She got very frustrated at first but when we explained we don’t feel like we get a chance to consent to her posting things about us we feel like our privacy is ignored.
She listened and stopped since
At that time I was 13
Th little girl’s mom was the best, she was very open to listening to her child and acknowledged that she should’ve asked and agreed to do so in the future
Olivia I think that’s why the little girl is so eloquent. She probably has a very nurturing environment.
That little girl is so cute💖😭
Yeah. I think it’s amazing that a seven year old can have a conversation with their mom as shown by the video.
She’s the best! She’s actually my teacher and she’s by far the most open and understanding person
I love how her mom treated her as an equal but then we have the 18 year old who’s mom wouldn’t even consider his privacy and I’m like
5 minutes of parents pretending there's no such thing as "consent"
Only when it involves their children (which makes it creepier...)
It's scary to see how some parents are so deep in social media that they put sharing photos online over their own child's safety. I feel so bad for the kids, hope their parents get a wake up call before anything bad happens.
This is so frustrating to watch, because I’m 50. I’m probably older than these parents, and with every single one of these kids from the youngest to the oldest, all I could think is “your child understands consent and you do not.” So because of my age I don’t think this is a matter of age or generational differences, I think it’s just not stopping to consider that social media is very different from sticking a photo in an album or hanging it up in your home. My therapist once joked with me that all this modern children’s media that teaches emotional processing is going to put her out of business, and I retorted “the parents on social media who don’t understand that kids’ need for safety extends to online privacy are going to put you right back into business.”
When Lucy’s mom said “oh so it’s more about the asking for permission than the actual picture” that was nice to see she understood
Alanya Sloane I KNOW I loved that part. So sweet
She’s doing the right thing
She brings her points respectfully and tires to understand her child and her points
She was my favorite mom because of that! I don't know what else to call it--a "diagnostic" question. She put effort in to figure out how her daughter was feeling.
Oh woah I hadn’t checked this comment in a while I had no idea it had this many likes also YEAH it was so kind..... I was rlly happy one of the parents seemed to get it 🥺🥺
Sometines, it is about the picture though.
If the Indian girl's mom were my mom, I'd go crazy. She said "ok, I'll stop", but her choice of words just sounds so martyr-ey to me. That drives me crazy.
The mental gymnastics on that one was cringe AF
i feel bad for these types of parents because they don’t realize how ridiculous they sound
All indian mums are like that
like most south Asian parents lol
Indian moms. Indian parents in general. They see kids as property.
I have just about the best parents anyone could ask for but I had to have this conversation with them many times as a kid. I’m in college now and I’ve stopped caring as much about my online footprint but I definitely see this as an increasing problem in the world today. It’s crazy that kids have to be the voice of reason!
The little girl looked on the verge of tears especially at the start and its both good, and really depressing that she is aware of this kind of this at such a young age.
A bunch of narcissistic parents avoiding their children’s feelings 🙄
I thought the 7 year old girl (Lucy)'s mom was more willing to compromise. I know narcissists who wouldn't address the issue if you brought it up to them, or even bother listening to the other point of view, let alone go on a video.
Agreed. Total narcissistic behavior.
||A bunch of narcissistic parents
That’s a pretty heavy word to throw around. They aren’t narcissist. You wouldn’t call them that if you knew one. It’s just they’re humans who refuse to give respect to the child. Simple as that.
I would tend to agree, it's narcissistic. There is no reason why these parents have to post their children pictures online; they can post them on the walls in the privacy of their home. It really CAN put them at risk.
@@chinwenduchinwe586 I agree to an extent that they can put pictures up at home. But I think that many older parents who didn't come into the internet and technology in an organic way, just honestly don't know the long lasting effects of anything online.
Imagine being a parent who tells her child that spending time together might as well have not happened if it wasn’t documented on Instagram. WOW. That is wrong on so many levels.
@Jocelyn Anderson even in your memory should be enough for it to be of worth!
@Jocelyn Anderson
Or . . . why wasn't it enough to spend that time with, to connect with, _me?_ Why do you have to use it for validation from strangers before it means something to you?
If my mom told me that, I'd fully cry.
And she literally said she'd only consider not posting content of her daughter if they "stop taking vacations together and stop having good times together." Holding family time over her daughter's head as a bargaining tool. So incredibly manipulative. If she can't have her way then she wants to find a way to punish her daughter for it. What an ugly heart she has.
A sad byproduct of “pics or it didn’t happen”.
Wow, this is interesting. For the first time, my son didn’t want the pictures I took on the first day of school on Facebook. I just sent them to his grandmother. It really isn’t that serious. People really want to show perfect pictures of jacked up homes 🤦🏽♀️
The little girl said it ALL. “You didn’t ask”. End of conversation.
The Indian mom is something else. Her attitude towards her daughter on camera is disgusting and I can’t imagine what it must be like out of the public eye
queen_ nayerie at 18 I would be outa there
@@purple00k not something that's usually possible in our culture.
Zahra Ismail but possible by law
@@cassieang1601 what you fail to understand is the severe brainwashing. what you fail to understand is the manipulation. this and worse happens to most of us and we never go to the police. police also have way "bigger" issues than this. Watching them take this seriously would be fun. We belong to our families and they take away all of our agency.
@@cherriesvu same
“Yeah, that’s true. That’s a really good point.” wow imagine your parent actually taking your opinion into account... crazy
that happened to me once about my mom understanding that fake nose rings are not actual piercings and she still forgot to get me some for Christmas :( but I was glad she came to her senses cause she can be a bit of a brick wall sometimes
Would've been nice.
@Linety 27 they could be.
And NOT being accused of disrespecting them!!! For those of us with foreign parents that is a BIG deal!
That's something that i appreciate most about my parents, they are open to debates on certain subjects and they have admitted a lot of times that my perspective as a young individual is important and relevant to them, because we grew up in different times and the world is changing so fast... :)
I just liked the 7-year-old saying simply: you didn't ask.
As a parent of young children who cannot yet advocate for themselves in this way, I have struggled to figure out what is and isn't appropriate to post about them. Not only do I want to protect them, I want to make sure they aren't embarrassed or upset about it when they are older. What little I've posted so far can't really be taken back, but this video has helped me think through the issue more clearly.
*When the younger generations gets bashed for social media but adult are was worse*
We are on it a lot but don’t post much they post 24/7 sometimes
Same goes for cellphone use, specifically using it while driving. It's a problem for both kids and adults, but adults like top pretend like they aren't a part of the problem.
Kira ʔ•̫͡•ʕ it’s classic projection. They blame us for things they are doing.
Truth.
The indian mother has no understanding at all. She is clearly using her daughter for attention online. It's sad that those mothers have to be taught about the risk of mindlessly posting things online. Especially if it's pictures of other people.
and the fact that she said "strangers could take pictures of you at the beach and do whatever they want with them"
just doesn't really sit right with me because yes it is true but why would she say it like that as if she doesn't care...
And when she said " if it isn't on insta , it didn't happen" 👁️👄👁️
I am from India and I can tell you most parents like to show off or boast a ridiculous amount, even at the expense of the feelings of their children. I feel blessed that my parents respect my privacy as I do theirs.
This video made realise that i should be grateful that i have indian parents who do document precious moments but don't over share it and literally ask for consent before sharing. Before i saw this vid, i thought every parent does what my parents do but this video gave me a different perspective to the situation :-)
for real! the culture is always about what others think :(
This is SO important. I'm so happy to see some children grow up with a critical mind even if they didn't have such a role model at home.
The irony of recording and posting this private conversation couldn’t have been lost on them
Is Zoya the parent?? Her mom is being EXTREMELY immature.
That is an asian parent for you
It sincerely shook me when her mom said, "If I can't post it for Insta it's like it didn't even happen." I refuse to believe she doesn't know how ridiculous and immature she sounds. Hopefully seeing herself in this video serves as a wake up call.
Lol Some parents can't accept that what they were doing is wrong or is making their kid uncomfortable....
Asian culture dictates that the elder is right, you are wrong. Shut up!......that's unfortunately how it is. Any comment or ideology that conflicts with a person older than you is disrespect. I could like tea instead of coffee...tell my parents and because they don't agree on my likes and dislikes I'm being disrespectful 🤷🏽♀️
@@Its_Me_Ashi_ nahh she's just an idiotic parent
I'm feeling really grateful right now that my parents aren't interested enough in social media to give me this kinda grief
My immigrant parents can barely use a computer, so grateful for that fact 😂
Same
As a millennial parent I fully understand the repercussions of blasting my child all over social media, I actively guard my child's right to autonomy and anonymity. Friends and family know not to post my child online, some have learned it the hard way. Now that my child is old enough to understand the consequences they often tell people not to post them on social media as well. It's f-ed up how many kids will have issues with employment, security, anonymity, etc... because mom and dad were addicted to likes...smh
@@sphere6258 you are a great parent !!
@@angelicasysnila5476 Thanks, just looking out for my kiddo.
I hope Zoya is and feels safe. You, and the other kids, deserve to have your boundaries respected regardless of your age. I hope you know your presence and time is valuable, even without it being shared online. You are a human being not an accessory or something to show off. There is something about this that I can relate to and, if you see this, know that you are not alone. And you are enough. And you deserve better. I hope you get it soon.
This is the most raw and unscripted confronting i've come across, especially @ 0:37 where this little child actually contacts the New York Times to invite her mom.
Notice how every single one of these parents is ignoring their child's wishes and completely denying they're in the wrong. So disappointing
ok, completely denying is a stretch and a half
The mum of the wee girl seemed to understand whenever they talked about it, but the other two oof
I guess it might be hard to hear. You think you're not doing anything ever to hurt your child, and then to hear that what you saw as you being proud of your child and sharing those photos is actually hurting them. Since it happened with all the parents they might be just shocked during the interview and don't know how to react to it.
I am not saying that the parents are right on here. All the children has a right to their privacy.
I agree. Defensive af it's vile
Well one it’s parents being ignorant and two parents thinking their kid is ignorant and thinking they know better
The only argument from the parents is “Everyone does it and you looked cute” the main argument against that is “you’re disrespecting my privacy”
Amanda it's the double fault : just because someone else does it, doesn't mean it's ok
That's a narcissist making justifications for their behavior.
My mom did this to me all the time growing up.
Amanda THISSSS!!!!
The counter agreement would be
YOU WANT PRIVACY
GET YOUR OWN DANM HOUSE
😂😂😂 gets me every time
The level of gaslighting and emotional manipulation, the severe lack of accountability for violating their own childs privacy for an addiction to attention and external validation, is engaging and staggering
seeing the way Zoya's mom reacted to her was so frustrating.
"If it's not on Insta it didn't happen"
Middle Ages: *disappears*
Well the middle ages basically have 'disappeared'. Everything disappears with time.
@@FIstof7LEGEND I know. What I meant by disappear is like, completely disappear from history in a sense that it didn't even happen.
LOL
😂
😂😂😂
“If it’s not on insta, it didn’t even happen”
Lady, how old are you???
Seraphina Ange du six ailes - I’m seeing a lonely mom whose only social life/way of connecting to others is social media (specifically instagram) and i can understand where she’s coming from. I don’t relate, but i understand why her feelings could be so strong about sharing.
Someone who behaves like that is no “lady.”
Rhythmic Elegance huh? ik her statement was odd but how does it make her less of a ”lady"
Sumaya 99 Aside from the statement being blatantly illogical and shallow (as things and people do actually happen and exist despite many of them not being recorded or posted), she said it in utter disregard to her daughter’s distress and human need for privacy, which added insult to injury as the mother attempted to defend her act of exploitation.
@NillyC the question about her age is in place as this kind of opinion really should be held by people in their teens at most.. certainly it is very questionable when something like that is said by a woman who is raising a child
You know the expression "With age comes wisdom" is a lie when parents say crap like this:
"If it's not on Insta it didn't even happen."
SMH
"you didn't ask"
*Parent.exe does not recognize this command, please try again*
"But strangers can take photos of you (on the beach) ..." yes they can, but they shouldn't.
"somebody else could do things you don't like therefore I can knowingly do things you don't like"
That's some logic for ya. 🙃
@@mdc47 Omg you just explain so well how mess up and oof
Ken Gonzales and if they do, it'll most definitely end with me confronting them; and chances are it'll end violent
In some states (like California) it's actually illegal
It's illegal to take pictures of a person without consent.
“If it’s not on insta, it didn’t happen.”
Are you 12? 🙁
🤣🤣🤣
She certainly wasn't older than her daughter which is VERy confusing.
Lmfao but so true.
Make that 6.
The actually words i said right after she said that
No one's telling them to stop recording or documenting... It's just that don't post them online. Keep them archived, and when your kids grow up, ask them what they want to do with those photos and videos. If they wanna post it fine, if not fine!
Why is it so hard for parents to understand?
I’m glad we are talking about this. Not everyone on the internet needs to know my personal business. I don’t even know what all my mom has posted about me and what random people know about my life!!!
“oh so it’s about the asking?”...so basically a little girl just had to teach her mom about consent.
Ok since she is 7 maybe she was trying to set herself as an example of what not to do idk but it can also be that
That little girl was way smarter than her mom. All these kids were.
it physically made me cringe when that mom said “if it’s not on insta, i didn’t happen.” and i thought we were the ones obsessed with ours phones...
Vishal Jindal very true
It’s always my dad saying we’re on our phones too much when he’s on his constantly
Yea that’s where it got me too..
I have GAD and I debated whether or not to send this to my mom. I'm not confident with my looks, and I have really low self-esteem, scared of how people might look at me. When I was on a trip with her, and she posted pictures of me (which I was reluctant to do), without my consent, she just told me "What? Do I have no right as your mom? For me to still ask for your permission?" to which I countered, "Do I have no right as your child and as a person? You already know about how I feel about this, and you don't respect me and my feelings." After that, she just started to victimize herself, making me feel guilty and gaslighting me, because "And? Have you ever had respect to me even once?"
And there's also the point where there are many predators in the internet, who we might not know and just save pictures of us children. I can't even trust my own friends when they have a hold and look of my own pictures.
Even though parents are the elder ones and "the ones who got the hold of their children" (not true), they still need to be educated with things like this because they're being selfishly ignorant.
Love this. Thanks for creating this video.
The Indian mum is living vicariously through her child.
like 90% of modern feminist mothers.
@@unclewazza777 what does feminism has to do with this, at all? or do you just like to use it as a Boogeyman?
@@user-vu2yb1gy4l Wow.You don't see the connection.?? Or you just don't want to.?? SELF ENTITLEMENT. Women trying to live viciously through there daughters. Dance Mons a prime example.
wazza davies but how does that link with feminism?😭😭
@@unclewazza777 every Indian mum does that. I don't think Indian mums are anywhere near being feminists.
Parents in denial asf 😅
💯💯💯🤣🤣🤣
ikr, imagine not respecting your children's wishes to not be put online. My sister will never post any pictures of her son online unless he wants her to.
I used to do this, until one day I realized how upset I'd be if everything cute I said and did was posted by my mom. I apologized to my son, removed all content he didn't approve of, and going forward I ask his permission before I quote him or share photos. He was 8 at the time, now he's 12 and I'm off Facebook forever. Sharing so much about our personal lives on a public forum, even set to private, is so weird. Yes I fully understand the irony of that sentence.
I'm so thankful my wife and I made a conscious decision to limit photos of our son online. I think in his 10 years of existence there are 5 on Facebook and 3 of them are him as an infant.
It has however caused strain between me and my mother who is habitually on Facebook and took a long time before she respected our wishes.