I’m Adopting 3 Nieces (Boyfriend Is NOT on Board)
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- Опубліковано 7 кві 2022
- I’m Adopting 3 Nieces (Boyfriend Is NOT on Board)
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The boyfriend deserves some credit for being upfront about this.
Yes he does. Often, men are not
Agreed.
Can we normalize not praising or giving ppl “credit” for being honest? What else are you supposed to do lie?
@@laladesy7352 Unfortunately, people aren't mostly honest. Therefore he deserves an acknowledgement.
@@laladesy7352 You're partially correct, but being honest is no longer acceptable in this society today, so yes, people are expected to do/repeat what they are told, or to just lie and go along.
He is under no obligation to go from no kids to three kids that aren’t his. She’s doing something very noble but I don’t blame him for wanting nothing to do with it.
She’s going to be a single parent of three if she’s not careful
Yes, but also it is already sketchy that he didn´t marry her after 8 years. And now he is not even breaking up with her fully. It seems to me he wasn´t all there for a while if not for the start. She is just comfortable and convenient. The moment she isn´t ' he´s out, except the sex.
@@anyagee9467 If he HAD been "all there" he would now be the father of three kids that wasn't his.
@@anyagee9467 it seems like they choose the smart route to complete education and have a very well paying career before marriage. The mother also passed last year who had been sick so he might have known that this might happen. To many people jump to marriage at an early age to only divorce in there 30’s.
@@ivanvargas2425 you can get your education while married. It´s not like they weren´t having sex and living together already. This guy just seems super non committal. I understand if they were dating for a year or two - but EIGHT years - come on!
He has not even been committed enough to make you a wife. He is not your family, your nieces are. The right person will love and respect you for your commitment to family and will jump in the trenches with you. I pray you are a beacon of light to these 3 young girls and find a wonderful husband to walk through life and be a father figure for these young girls. You are amazing!
I absolutely agree
I agree
Even without a husband she can live a good life .
Well said.
The boyfriend needs to go. doesn't sound like he is worth keeping anyway. She's 26, they have been together a "long time" and he hasn't put a ring on her finger in spite of them making adequate incomes.
He "isn't ready" to have kids. If he isn't ready now he's never going to be ready. He's a jerk.
I just adopted my siblings at 25 and they are under 7. It's the hardest most rewarding thing I've ever done. I really needed the pep talk, too, John, so thank you. Daisy, you've -- we've-- got this!
You got this as well
You got this! Go Chelsea, go Chelsea! You go Gurl! I so want to know how Daisy is doing. This really touched me.
Bless you for it.
I hope you’re doing well now two years later.
I commented above, but my aunt did this and it was so, so much work for her AND she totally succeeded, though she may not always have felt like she did. God bless you! Good for you ❤
Sweet woman, you won't have much time to grieve this dude. The girls will keep you busy and will bring you so much joy. I pray the right man comes to you!
I pray this too! What an amazing young woman! ♥️♥️💕🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I third that!
Yeah, imagine how much joy it is to throw away your young life and your love life in order to become a single mother of three at 26. I bet she'll never regret it once in her life and I'm also sure plenty of men are willing to step into this and willingly raise and sustain kids that are not theirs in order to save her from her own decisions 😅 yeah, I'm being an ass I know, but the reality is that the real picture is not at all glamorous as you all make it look like. She is doing something noble and I do wish her the best, but she is taking a very big responsability, she is going to give up A LOT for it and it won't be easy.
I completely agree. Men are replaceable. Those little girls aren’t.
@@gabzsy4924 you’re right, but she seems to have a conscience and those kids are lucky their aunt cares about them enough that she’s willing to sacrifice her romantic relationship for them… it’s a hard situation she’s in
She's doing the right thing. If he hasn't married her after 9 years he's not likely to want to have kids with her. Take care of you're family honey it's going to be hard but you can do it!🙏
Men are not interested in caring for and spending resources on another man’s children. Why would we be?
It’s possible he wants his own kids and not those of a pair of addicts that he has no relationships with whom will make life 10x more complex than necessary.
Yup, 9 damn years
Agreed!
Agreed! He was just there for the easy stuff, not fully committed. I don't see where she couldn't go ahead and adopt these kids. That's what family does when kids' parents die or are otherwise not in the picture.
Marry that girl...marry her anyway...marry that girl...no matter what you say
Unpopular opinion, I think her boyfriend has the right to say he doesn’t want to be a dad of 3. He probably would’ve been an awful dad and that’s the last thing those girls needed. It still sucks that she’s going through a break up as she welcomes them in. I pray she never resent those girls when she realizes her lifestyle has changed as well. What a noble young lady! ❤️
That's true
He has the right to do anything. He can go be a creepy useless pervert with a clown fetish. His right to do it doesn't mean he is right to do it. I'm sure he is entirely capable of realigning his priorities and becoming at least a better father figure then a menagerie of foster parents.
Tht not his kids and he not married 2 her. I want restated this becuz society has a fetish of random man who minding their own business. Feel obligated to take in a random kids. Get over yourself.
I agree. I am glad he said this ahead of time instead of going along with it and pull back later.
Yes he does have a right to say no that being said, if he really loved her he would be supportive. They wanted kids anyway
My stepdad took on three kids and treated us as his own. Our grief at his passing was genuine. He loved us and later loved his grandchildren and great granddaughter. I appreciate him even more now.
That is because he turned to your real dad . I am sorry for your loss but you do have happy memories.
She's doing such a kind and noble thing, saving her little nieces from the foster system where so many children are sexually assaulted, neglected, abused, etc. It would be a very kind thing for her boyfriend to step up as well, but of course it's also his right to leave the situation.
It wouldn’t be noble if that’s not what he wants with his life. It would be a disservice to the kids to take them and not really want them. It’s okay to not want kids. I don’t have any I love my life. It’s fantastic. I’d never trade the freedom up for anything or anyone
He is a boyfriend not a husband he shouldn't do something he isn't ready for just because it's his gf.
@@matthewreddy5615 Some people are the kind of people who step up to save their little nieces from abuse and trauma, others are the kind of people to leave their girlfriend in their greatest time of need in order to keep their lifestyle. We're all different, and have different ideas of what kind and noble behavior is.
@@Dwights_trash_can I mean 9yrs dating and he wants kids but they're not married and don't have kids? He sounds indecisive/immature. I'm voluntarily child free. I don't care what people want, but don't be a fence sitter
@@ErinWilke 26 years old is young to have kids. Many successful marriages don’t have children.
Together for 9 years… living together for 4… he makes $90k what’s he been waiting on? She dodged a bullet
He was not the one.
She is doing the most important thing she will ever do in her life, and she will be rewarded for it. I hood her 30 year old sister and her friends can be a support system for her and those babies.
🙏🏽
Alot of people aren't interested in marriage anymore
You don't think he dodged a bullet too? I do.
I think he has valid reason to leave if this isn’t what he wants. It’s a sad reality but an almost out of nowhere life change like this one where there’s three young children. That’s a huge change that’s understandable to not want or be ready for as much as we wish he would step up for it. That being said I think what we hear of his attitude points to it being likely that she did dodge a bullet. I think it says a lot that he says to her that the kids are her thing and he’s over here doing his thing, almost implying that if she wanted to continue seeing him on the side and sleeping with him while handling this on her own he’d be cool with it. And if he’d be ok watching her struggle with real life stuff while reaping the benefits of things on the side that’s a character issue. It’s also concerning if he says things insensitively like he has fo maintain his lifestyle. They’re just such a difference in saying that versus telling her that he loves her, commends her but just isn’t ready for such an immense thing as taking in three kids and truly splitting things cleanly. When you see how he said things and that with a healthy income and so long together that he never took a step to truly commit well before the kids were ever a thing it isn’t a leap that he may have said the same things if she had simply gotten pregnant and that he’d have left and said he wouldn’t sacrifice his lifestyle. That just isn’t the easiest thing to see because it’s been masked by such an immense thing that most people can understand being scared to jump in on.
90k for 3 kids and room for your own is a pipe dream. Come back down to earth, youtube
@@justme87999im seeing that.
I’m in tears. This young woman is so incredible and selfless and is stepping up in unimaginable ways. So amazing!
Such a beautiful soul ✨
most of these shows don't make me tear up but this one did
I agree. and the boyfriend who has been stringing her along for NINE YEARS is a JERK!!!
She sounds like a wonderful woman and the boyfriend is an ass. It's good something happened to get her out of that relationship.
❤ absolutely agree! 💯
Ideally, they’d be married and making the decision together. But they’ve been dating for years and he hasn’t felt the drive to commit to her, so she should live HER life. This is what she wants to do.
She chose to shack up with him. Unmarried. That was a bad decision. Don’t live with (or have sex) with a man who is not committed to you.
@@Foxie770 Yes bad decision!
@@Foxie770 What does sex even have to do with this? As if that have made him act like a decent partner? The problem is giving someone wife privileges (time, emotions, living situations, support, finances, sacrifices, etc) when they aren't even bothering to commit for NINE YEARS
Lmao, it's funny how people act like marriage is some kind of magic shackle. You can be committed to someone and not married. Marriage is an overpriced dress up game
I hope she enjoy living "her life" because her chances of finding Mr. Right now are just about nil, with 3 kids at 26. Although, she pretty much put herself in the same situation by staying with someone who wouldn't commit for 9 freaking years.... The story of this caller isn't as altruistic as many make it out to be. There's going to be a lot of carnage, which is what happens when one makes a unilateral decision and then has to live with it for many years to come. While I could admire a man who would step up in this situation IF this is what he wants and has agreed to it, it is just as true that no one is obligated or expected to acquiesce to such a scenario, especially when one person has chosen to take on such a responsibility by unilateral decision. There is nothing wrong or abnormal about walking away from that.
Boyfriend is not obligated to take on kids that aren't his, so good for him for making HIS OWN decision. His decision doesn't make him a bad person. Did she TALK TO him BEFORE making HER decision? Amazing that she is now bringing up her brother's kids, kudos to her for that. As I said, HE is under NO obligation to take on other people's kids, and has EVERY RIGHT to not do that, and his decision DOES NOT make him a bad person. Nor does it make him selfish. They're HER family.
Maybe this is controversial, but if you’ve been with someone for 9 years they are both your family
@@Bringon-dw8dx No. If you're with someone for NINE years and there isn't mutual commitment AND one of them can just make a unilateral decision like this lady did, without regard to the guy....THAT is not family (Well, maybe a crappy family... :D). This is why I'd never be with someone for 9 years without marrying them nor live with someone without being married. Despite the unselfishness and charity of this woman, I seriously thing there is either something wrong with her, or she does not consider future implications of her actions. By staying with this guy where there is no committed love for 9 years, she has already seriously thrown away her chances of meeting Mr. Right- and now by taking on 3 kids at 26...the last lingering chance is going away. And $61K in LA in 2024 does not support 4 people. She'll end up in someone's basement in the Barrio and on Food Stamps. This will likel;y not end well for anyone involved.
I hope she calls back in a couple of months and lets us know how she is doing. There are lots of us who would be willing to help if needed.
She's going through a house move, bereavement and effectively a divorce all at the same time as becoming a parent. That's just about every major stressor all in one.
She's amazing. Absolute hero.
She doesn't need that guy.
Exactly! We’re a little late here but what does she need this douche for?
Sometimes I am terrified by the younger generation and then you hear a young lady like that and you know there is hope
Amen!
Same. I’m thrilled to see men looking after themselves and their interests.
Aw! Thanks 🙏🏻
@@Evil-Rod-Farva men have always done that
What's sad is her brother and his baby mama. She shouldn't have to be noble.
This call brought me to tears.
She deserves everything good this world has to offer.
God Bless Her and the children. 🙏🏽
I can't believe there is a man that would risk losing such a kind, giving woman :(
She was a convenience for this dude. Her life is about to be rich in ways she has never imagined! You go girl!
She’s gonna be a single mom potentially, not rich
Nah she gonna be poor.. 3 kids under 7 . all the meals. Medical. School. All tripled
@@luisvargas1520she means in life, not wealth
@@dakotasikes6690she means in life
Lol, oh ya, drug addicts who don’t want the kids( abandonment issues) , caregiver dies ( grief and feeling more abandonment) . Shuffled around for a while. With all the emotional issues that the kids are going to have her life is going to be hell. These are not going to be stable. Possibly causing problems for the rest of their lives.
He's not right for you, you're doing the right thing
Wth I’m not bringing 3 kids into my house. Wth are you talking about
Bringing 3 kids to the house in unhinged behavior. You co-signing it is even more so.
@@greent16lots of crazies in this comment section for sure. People hating on the dude and then saying a better candidate of a guy is going to come swoop out of nowhere and wife up a 26 year old single mother to be a stepdad to 3 kids is hilarious. These people think real life is like a romance novel or something. She did the right thing but the guy bashing is insane. They’re children not dogs, and 3 all at once would freak out anyone at his age with a brain
@@Hawaii567 Best. Comment. On here! Who in the heck wants a lifestyle dumped on them that may be completely antithetical to what they have planned and worked for...and also have to PAY for it?! The chick makes a unilateral decision after being with the guy for NINE years without so much as consulting him...just says this is the way iy's going to be, you're either with me or not! Truly insanity, and kind of negates the charity and unselfishness of what she is doing. She's just picking one over another. And now she'll be single forever or end up with some loser or weirdo who wants into that situation.
Girl it's gonna be HARD. But you are doing the greatest thing imaginable. Thank you for saving them.
Exactly! So beautiful a person.
They've been together for 9 years, living together for 4, he was never all-in! She deserves better. God bless her and those 3 little girls!
He's not a bad guy for not wanting to raise these kids. Women are such ridiculous people at times.
Yeah, I don't see "husband and father" in this either.
She made the right choice and sadly he probably made the best choice for himself. Sometimes life is sad and hard.
He's not wrong to walk away from this.
She is about to walk down one heck of a difficult road, I wish her all the best. Stronger person than I.
It’s not that hard if you have love in your heart. Her circumstances mirror mine. My nephew is now 19 and going to nursing school and my niece is 12. I have had them since I was 23. I graduated from law school and have a masters.
@@Salutations26 🙏🙌🙌🙌🙌
@@Salutations26❤ incredibly inspiring!
@@Salutations26 bless you! Mine isn't exactly like yours, but to a great extent it turned out that from 15 or 16 I had to take almost complete care of my brother. It was a difficult road, but he is completing his MBA now and I already completed a masters and might be unto more soon.
I hope this woman finds much love and kindness on her journey.
@@STak-ju7gx Bless you for sure.
The state does pay for these kids. They pay for health insurance, food, and they get social security. I think she'll be alright financially, it's just going to be tough emotionally.
Texas does not offer support for kinship placements, I don't think this is a blanket statement.
@@MitchMartin2 ok, that could be in Texas, but she lives in California
@@MitchMartin2 California does and its its 1,080per child (my sister has kinship of my 2 nephews) so john is wrong about her being better off moving somewhere else
Not if she’s adoption which she is. If she’s fostering she would get help
@@SwimSweetie100 hmmm, I know people in iowa who get a monthly check for adopting out of the foster care system. Are you sure?
I needed to hear this! I’m literally experiencing this right now at the age of 29. My husbands siblings have nowhere to go because their mother cannot care for them. No other family wants to take them in and we are the only ones left for them (ages 12 and 8). It’s such a difficult decision because what comes with it it’s not easy at all. I was so upset and confused if I am doing the right thing. I said yes but I was scared, thinking what am I getting myself into. But hearing that we can support one another and get through this brings me peace. Thanks for this!
There is no choice, accept it. You will realize and appreciate it later.
God bless you! 💕❤ My husband was a foster child and his Aunt didn't care enough to take him and his brother. They went through some really bad placements before they ended up with a truly lovely family. I'm so thankful to them for loving and caring for them as teens. That's not the easiest thing to do.
You are amazing and such a blessing to your husband's siblings. With your love and support they in turn can be a blessing to you as well. Thank you so much for caring and sacrificing your own plans for them. You rock!!!💐💕❤💜
You are doing the right thing for sure !
God is with you in your decision and He will help you :)
It is a ton of hard work but it is the greatest blessing!! God bless ❤️
Divorce incoming
It is natural to be nervous about taking on a responsibility. A few years ago one of my siblings suffered a TBI, and after our surviving parent declined to take her in, I did. Mind you, I wasn't even working full time, as my company cut a lot of staff during the pandemic. It was VERY tight financially for awhile, I even came close to losing my place, her care was really expensive and I was tapped out. But I stuck in there, she's doing much better and I have more work now. It's your family, they are worth the effort.
He didn't sign up for the kids!! She did! I hate it for her and applaud her for HER choice, but he's under NO obligation!
Nor is he committed. An uncommitted man is not much protection.
She's not losing much beings he still hasn't committed after 9 yrs. Time for him to go. No good.
He needs to move on.
Eh...the way I see it, he doesn't want kids. He has been leading her on with "someday" but it was always going to end up like this when she said "how about today?". The guy doesn't want to be an adult. I blame him for leading her on. Now he is shamelessly sleeping with her while saying her children are "her life", not his.
@@melissahale7806 Takes two to tango. She stuck around for those 9 years. 9 years...no marriage: They're BOTH just settling/biding time/waiting for someone [whom they think is]better. And notice how she'd shove HIM out the door by making a unilateral decision. This is just bad all around. And at 26 there go her chances of finding Mr. Right, 'cause few men want to raise someone else's kid..much less kidS....so suddenly the dating pool becomes a stream of losers, single dads and pedos. Not that it'd be a good idea to date and have strange men around while those kids are young. This girl is throwing a lot away. Nice unselfish act...but she's throwing a lot away, and may end up regretting it and them.
Sorry, she is asking way too much from a boyfriend. They aren't even married.
9 years together. Is not a marriage. No commitment
She needs to do what her heart tells her do . I would do the same thing . I would be heart broken but I would still have to pick the girls.
@@seagirl1100 That's what the OP SAID!
To compare his reaction to raising her addict brother's 3 kids to what I might have been had she gotten pregnant is not only unfair, it’s wildly ridiculous. Taking on an addict's kids and wildly changing the course of your life overnight is NOT the same as having your own baby. Is it noble, sure. Is it his responsibility? No.
Dr John didn’t say it was his responsibility. the guy doesn’t want lifestyle changes and the Doc’s point is even if it’s your child, it’s a lifestyle change. Also there are other situations that could come up because that’s how life is. What if instead of dying, her late mom had been sick and needed to move in with them. This happens a lot in families when parents become elderly. Or she became sick and needed care? Is he just going to be like I didn’t sign up for this and bail? If so, better to know that sooner than later and not marry him.
Baloney has to blame a man in some way on every call.
100%
@@BirdDogey1 DeLoony is a perfect illustration of why I warn people against psychologists/psychiatrists, but between the dysfunction of the callers and the advice often given, it can make for good entertainment.
What a kind, loving woman! I hope she has a good community around to help her and the kids.
She needs a good man, but they're few and far between these days.
@@CajunWolffe They're even farther and fewer when they find out this woman has three kids.
@@alanparedes2034 she had a good man. the boyfriend didnt sign up for it and she went ahead and sign up for it anyway. saying screw you to him, i gotta take care of these three kids now.
@ugabuga1361 a good man wouldn't string her along for 9 years without marrying her
The fact that they've been together for years and he hasn't asked her to marry him shows he was with her out of convenience to him, it was always about him, guy has a lot of maturing to do and I hope this young lady finds someone that prioritizes her and taking her in fully
She won't find anyone. Not until the kids are grown, but that's ok.
It goes both ways. Hopefully, he'll find someone who prioritizes him fully and doesn't bring in 3 kids that he doesn't want.
Has she brought up marriage herself? We don't know
The fact that she hasn't asked him about marriage shows that she isn't committed to him and was with her for convenience
Or he doesnt believe in marriage. Just because he didnt ho the traditional route doesnt disqualify him from being someone of quality.
You’ve made the choice and now he has a choice. If he decided to walk away, he has that right, and I wouldn’t hold a grudge against him for that. Let him go.
You are doing a very noble thing. Be strong.
Exactly! 💯💯
She made a decision to take in her crack addicted sister's kids, his input obviously didn't matter because she already made a choice, so now he also has a right to make his own choice whether he wants to leave or stay. He has a right to leave if he wants to, he didn't create this mess. Her crack addicted sister did.
To hold it against him just because he didn't want to be mentally, emotionally, physically and FINANCIALLY responsible for 3 kids that aren't his own is complete bull.
If the situation were reversed, would it be fair to blame the gf for not going all in? I doubt it.
Also it may be a nightmare cause the drug addict biological parents of these 3 kids may come around from time to time causing trouble
Best comment 👏👏👏
I admire this young woman so much. This young man has every right to walk away but she is absolutely worth someone who, after 9 years of being with her, will stand by her through thick and thin. It’s the difficult life circumstances that expose a person’s true commitment level. The truth is that a lifelong partnership should be able to withstand even the most drastic inconvenience or lifestyle change.
But when that truth isn't applied to both partners, then this is no relationship.
9 years and he still not committed to you or your life! He doesn’t put others before himself and what he wants. What he wants comes before of what is righteous (shows that he is a coward). He wouldn’t be willing to lay his life down for you and your family. You don’t want to grow old with this. God is setting you free from this man! ❤
Respect what she did, but also he’s not obligated to become a stepdad of 3.
They aren't married.
He's not obligated by law but invited to grow into a decent man who's words and actions count in this world. He denied and chose to stay a manchild with no use or consequence to any woman, man or child.
But if they were married, he would adopt too, and he would not be a stepdad. He would be a dad. It is a good thing she is losing him. Clearly they have different values.
@@shortbread445that’s cool, but you don’t have to do things you don’t want to, because someone else feels they need to. That’s not how life works
@@lisalapoint7022if they were married, it would be his decision as much as it is hers. You can’t just do something you think is right and disregard the other persons needs and wants.
This guy owes her a direct answer in Or out. She owes him respect for whatever decision he makes.
He's out
@@jeradkiester698 He's definitely out. What does HE get out of the deal besides sacrificing everything for kids that arent his?
@@TheAgentmigs he will have to make a lot of sacrifices and financial commitment to take care of three kids that he has no blood or legal obligation to.
@@TheAgentmigs He will get a "good boy" pat on the back
@@siddheshmirjankar910 tht demeaning
It is disingenuous to say he is choosing lifestyle over her. Not wanting to sign up for a $750k+ obligation and raise someone’s else’s 3 kids is not about choosing lifestyle.
Well that is her new lifestyle so what is the problem with that statement?
@@sobeliever1638 Yes, it's so easy to commit to take care of 3 kids that you have no relation to.
@@blingman78That's a psychotic read of the previous comment 😂
Yeah the adoption of three kids isn’t just a lifestyle choice. The guy leaving while unfortunate for her is the correct decision for 99% of guys. He’s self aware to know he doesn’t want this and wouldn’t be a good father to them.
It absolutely is a different lifestyle. Kids versus no kids is huge. He's choosing the no kid lifestyle.
Yeah this is a tough one. This is a situation where everyone could be right at the same time, yet the decisions are still difficult and involves sacrifice for everyone involved at different levels. Jeez.
Best comment!!!!🎉👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Glad you are unbiased and can see right thru the whole pix
Family before a guy that hasn't claimed you , shouldn't be a tough decision. My fiancee said the same and I packed his crap and left it by the front door, nothing left to say! his
These are kids that need to be stable. It's a sad and horrific what they have been through, I think you dodged a bullet Dr J is right.
65k you don't need him. I raised 4 foster kids and one Bio. I decided I wanted present, didn't date, I loved my life. All kids graduated above a 3.0, my bio graduated 4.38 GPA, proudest moment of my life, and guess what still young enough to date. Empty nest and having the best time of my life. U got this girl.
She did not claim him either
Not all women are. s too pid.
She knows whats up!!!!
@goodie2shoes You sound like a great catch for a man 😂
@@kenlang2154 Honey, I left two men BOTH *thought* they were all that, both were so smart, got with dumb bimbos that were after their money, I walked after 10 years pregnant w ones kid with only my car two dogs 7 months pregnant, and gave him everything, left him w everything and 6.5 million in assets, I rebuilt, no child support. She got accepted into an I'vy league school knows three languages fluiantly 4.38 GPA without studying.. we need jack from her bankrupt father so I'm sorry what's your point? I'm worth more than him. My houses are paid off. I have zero debt. I don't need a man to hold my life down.
@@kenlang2154 Why, because, because I know I can make it without a man? Bruise to your ego? If where not on the same goal path then what's the problem? I own my homes outright. So, yeah, I bring something to the table more than most. I know my capabilities and value.
I dumped my boyfriend when I found out that my sister in law had her 2nd brain tumor. She wrote a will for me to raise her daughter. My ex said that NO KID WILL EVER LIVE WITH US. I gave him 2 weeks to reconsider. Hhhmm well I moved out on the 14th day and I raised her for 4 years! Regretfully she always goes against me. Her bio mom was horrible to her (emotionally and physically) but she makes sure to make it known that she’s I’m not her mom. It broke my heart because I gave up my career 150,000$ a year to be her mom, gave up my life.. no dating… we ended up no contact but she turned out well, just not loving me even though I loved her unconditionally.
I'm so sorry it turned out this way. But being trauma informed I want you to know it was nothing against you. Most likely you were her safe place and so you got the brunt of her pain. Keep on loving her while giving her space and doing all you can do to keep her safe. What you did was the right thing. Trauma is very hard to deal with. I'm sorry you all have to deal with this. Grief is also very hard.
This is heartbreaking. I’m so very sorry. I hope someday she realizes all you did for her.
These poor children!! They've lost so much and been jerked around all over the country. I'm so glad their auntie is going to take care of them. Daisy, you're doing the right tthing. These are your daughters now, ready made family. And they will love you, they will test you, they will be joy and sometimes a bit o heartbreak.
I'm sorry this guy is not up to taking this on. But girl, you gotta do what you gotta do.
Sweet woman, she is changing those kids' lives for the better and she will be blessed for it!
I have two children. I cannot imagine being twenty-six and going from zero to three kids, not my own, while not being married. The expectation that he should reasonably stick around is not realistic. Not fair to this fellow whatsoever.
Not a fair situation on either of them. She is doing such a noble thing out of love for those children.
I went from zero to 2 at 23. Prayer and love works wonders.
I was thinking the same thing, I would have done the same thing… she can be a super hero all day long, but I don’t need a Mother Teresa in my life
@@BeaBelfastVideos
But she made the decision to take in her 3 nieces without his input. The 3 kids are her family, not his.
So he has a right to make his own decision to leave if he want to. They're not married.
If the situation were reversed and he dropped 3 kids (that aren't hers) in her lap and she decides to leave, would you blame her?
@@terriesmith2616 Absolutely wouldn't. I am not blaming either of them. I said it's an unfair situation for both. She probably couldn't forgive herself if she didn't offer to take in her brother's children.
At the end of the day the blame lies with the biological parents of those children. Their life choices are affecting those around them.
Two years or more have passed, how are you doing sister?
Praying for Daisy as she steps up to take care of these girls. 🙏🏻
I am so proud of her! Hey, get in a local church. There are some stay-at-home mamas like me that would love to help you out!!! Build up a strong support system. Praying for you!!
My Mom moved in with my husband and i. He just said well we have to take care of your Mom. He's not the one. God has the one who will help you. It's hard but move on!
Her story breaks my heart. What a beautiful soul she has and deserves the world. It may not seem like it but John is right in that, she dodged a bullet. Start now, start today and don’t look back.
I don't blame the young man for not wanting to take on 3 children that are not his. I would have a different opinion if they were married. I think, this young lady is nobel for stepping up and taking care of her family. I really believe in time things usually work out. Sending her all positive vibes.
She is awesome. Those kids will never forget this. They may not realize now what happened, but they will. Good for her. That takes so much strength.
Daisy is such an amazing woman.
She deserves a better man.
Thank you for being a wonderful aunt/mom to the three nieces.
You are amazing.
My hats off to Daisy. I would do the same for my nephews. My prayers to you! 🙏
She IS doing the right thing for those babies....but I also understand where the boyfriend is coming from. Bless you, Daisy, there is a special place in Heaven for you girl.
I want to be her friend. She needs a community around her. I hope she can find some strong mothers to walk with her through all of this.
Youre doing the right thing. Let this dude go. You'll get over it.
It's unfair to be upset with this decision if he had no input. Having children is not for everyone and that's okay it's better that he recognizes that he doesn't want that life then try to pretend and live an unhappy life.
I’d get my nieces and nephews without a question
I would think less of a partner that wouldn’t
This lady is a real hero for sure. There is someone who will see her for the angel she is and love her and those kids with all his heart. ❤️❤️❤️
She made her choice, he has to make his. It’s as simple as that.
Thankfully he’s just a boyfriend so he can just leave if it’s to much for him. Sounds like you’ve made your choice?
She really has no other choice. Children always come first. There are lots of boy friends but only 3 nieces in need.
She chose to be a single mother. Sounds like she did this without his agreement. It's not on him. They are not his kids. Different scenario then her getting pregnant with his kids.
@donald johnson haha dr baloney
@donald johnson Nah he panders to parents and parenthood in general.
There not hers as well. She is just doing the best in that bad situation
What choice does she have seriously?
The best part of this call is Dr. D’s unfiltered laugh when she says her boyfriend isn’t onboard - he could see that coming a mile away! Those kids just did her a favour, that relationship was going nowhere! Calling the boyfriend a Knucklehead was the second best part of this call 😂
This happened in my family as well. My BIL brother had 4 kids and all parents (2 moms, plus dad) passed. My BIL took them in (youngest was 6, oldest 18). My sister supported him all the way. All the kids are grown now and calls them mom and dad. I praise them everyday for such a selfless act. They had kids of their own and it was not easy. My other sister has 3 kids. I told my now husband from the moment we met that if anything were to happen to her or her husband I will take them, no questions asked. I would nvr allow them to go into the foster system if I can help it. What she’s doing is selfless and she will be blessed for it. It’s ok if he doesn’t want to do that at such a young age and she should let him go. She will find the right persons for herself and the kids in due time.
Thank you. We have a huge shortage of foster families right now and its people like you who are hero's for these kids.
He has the right to his opinion, and the right to walk away. Just like women do.
Good for her. It makes me appreciate my own husband who didn't bat an eye when I brought my mother with dementia and recent stroke to our home. She was bed ridden and needed diaper changes. He helped with diapering and bed changes. Now that's a partner!
John is SPOT ON about the boyfriend
if he’s not on this and a major family issue, he would have dropped you later on
Girl God will pay you back for this sacrifice
i truly believe it
you are changing your legacy and these kids will tell you one day how grateful they are for you
God give your strenght to face the challenges ahead 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I agree and truth be told he really doesn’t want his finances affected as well. He doesn’t care about her at all he cares about his money and his lifestyle. 👎🏽
9 YEARS? As much as I can understand his position I feel like at this point you should be fully committed even when things don’t go your way. I never wanted kids but I fell in love with a man who has one. As difficult as it’s been I am trying my best to adjust because I made a commitment. He might of absolutely loved those kids and now he’s missing out on an opportunity to grow. At least she’s finding out sooner than later!
EXACTLY!
Exactly. The fact he’s been around that long and not out a ring on it indicates his attitude toward commitment imo
You fell in love with him KNOWING he had a kid, he didn't drop 3 in your lap without your input after a long term relationship.
Opportunity to grow? You're right, what an ingrateful bastard he should be thanking her🤣🤣🤣
Finding someone with kids already is totally different than finding someone who at the time said she didn't want kids as did he. There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids. Adopting 3 children whom are not yours is very honorable. The other half is under no obligation to be a part of the kids lives especially since he has voiced he doesn't want kids from the beginning. It's it NOT wrong and it doesn't make him a bad person. They have different goals and it is ok to part ways.
He's under no obligation to take care of kids that are not his. The guy has worked to make himself financially viable..only to take on 3 kids that arent his...for a girlfriend? It's a one-sided deal.
If they've been together for 9 years and he hasn't popped the question, he doesn't have any intent on being with her long-term he's just comfortable. As he said, "it's your life" not "our life." He never was playing for keeps.
Because an overpriced dress up game will solve all your problems. You heard it here first ladies!
@@lostconciousness4255 A marriage and a wedding aren't the same thing. Plenty of people get married without have an expensive party. I don't think everyone should get married but if that's your goal, don't be with someone who clearly doesn't want the same thing.
Wow!!! Great things are gonna come your way daisy ! god bless your heart ! and you are definitely doing the right thing ! you deserve someone who will support this! My coworker did the EXACT SAME THING and ended up divorced … she stuck to her guns… and found someone who was so excited to have a family ! and now she’s engaged to be married so you will find someone daisy !
Girl, if you are reading this I would love to pray with you and for these beautiful babies.
I'm cheering for you and your nieces, Daisy, and wishing you all the best of luck.
Don't forget to ENJOY raising those kids!! It is a lot of hard work, but it is also A LOT of fun. I tell this to all my friends who have newborns.
Also go read some parenting books. I recommend "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk".
Thank you!
Thank u for the books
She flat-out dumped this huge burden into boyfriends lap. He likely had zero input. I feel so sorry for the kids, but NONE of this is his fault! He shouldn't be portrayed as the "bad guy".
He is not a bad guy. But maybe this was her wake up call. She should have figured it out sooner --- after nine years, he was clearly not interested in building a life with her. I think the negativity you see in the comments reflects what people know ADULT life is supposed to be. That anything worth having in life requires sacrifice, deep love, and work.
I love how Delony is showing REAL EMOTIONS!!
I don't think it's fair to assume the guy would have left her if she was pregnant. There's a vast difference in an unexpected pregnancy versus adopting three young children. I'm 32, my wife and I are expecting our first child - my reaction to that was pure joy - if it was adopting her nephews, I would have been shell-shocked.
Yes but there is something wrong in dating for 9 years and no marriage.
@@mirjanapucarevic2105 no it isn't. Dating length doesn't determine your marriage
@@mirjanapucarevic2105 let alone nine, he can date her and not get married for a lifetime. Womem benefit from marriage and not men. Had they been married, he probably would have been on the hook for child support. So much anger when men finally wise up and start protecting themselves.
@@mirjanapucarevic2105 we're getting hung up on that number - nine. She's 26 - nearly half of their relationship was spent before they were eligible to consume a beer legally. They were going to school, living under their parents roof.
I went through a similar experience - dating life during the days of college living vs paying rent together, sharing space - it's night/day.
@@Chalk89 I think I am coming from cultural difference. That's all.
Best wishes to you, Daisy. 🌼I admire your integrity, your heart and your compassion. Your nieces are so fortunate to have you. Wishing you love, luck and happiness on your journey together.❤️
I predict a bright future for this wonderful lady, her nieces and her new found family. ❤
Just a boyfriend? Not his decision.
What an amazing young woman! To give not only her heart but her life to three small children who are family but not from her womb. I would love for an update on Daisy. God Bless you Daisy & the children.
You are an amazing woman. Those kids are blessed to have you in their life .
WHEW! That's a lot and I understand the point of both her and the soon to be ex boyfriend ADDICTION affects more than the person addicted; so sad. I wish her all the best and hope she has amazing support because she is absolutely going to need it
What a noble, courageous and inspiring woman. I hope she’s so proud of herself. This is such a hard thing she’s doing. She’s doing such a rare & inspiring & incredibly KIND thing. I send you love. In karma this will make up for itself. Do what YOU feel is right. He may come back when he has his single life and realizes he can’t control it. I’ve learned that so the hard way - we can’t make other people go through stuff with us. Follow your heart. It’s aligned. He may go through some life & come back but you’ve given 3 kids safety. I’d choose same over a beau but god I’d grieve. You’re such a good person.
I empathise with this woman… Wishing her all the best! You are a hero 💕
Daisy is wonderful person and I hope she has friend and a church community to help her. She is a hero and I have so much respect for her. Her boyfriend of 9 years does not deserve his behaviour. Let him have his life, Daisy, because you are brave and need a brave and loving man to walk with you and not away from you. Your girls deserve better as well, for sure. Do not be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I hope the girls can get counselling as I’m sure they need it especially the oldest who is more aware of everything. I am saying a prayer that God will comfort, provide and protect you and your girls. ❤️🇨🇦🙏
It's not really fair to blame the boyfriend here. He could be "all in on her" but not "all in on adopting 3 kids that aren't his at age 26." I also disagree that this means he would leave if she got pregnant. It's different to plan to have kids eventually versus adopting 3 toddlers that aren't your own kids within 2 weeks..
Own kids? WOW. How sad and backwards.
I don’t think he was blaming him. He was just saying it’s sucks he’s not all in with her however with her calling in, he’s got to give her advice.
@@raelenestaley8046 It's a fact. It's not his kids. His emotions are an not an appliance you can turn on at your convenience.
@@raelenestaley8046 Sad and backwards? It's not his responsibility to be a father to those kids, sorry. He's not a bad person or wrong for choosing to leave in this situation. John made it sound like this guy just wants to fool around instead of "manning up" to raise kids that aren't his. Well guess what - they're not married, and his actions didn't result in the creation of these kids. If he created a baby with this woman, then yes, he should stay and marry her, but this is completely different.
@@fnordiumendures138 His kids? This implies superiority with DNA. Bio kids or adopted kids, you don't know the end result.
Whoa, amazingly brave thing to do. I'd do the same for my nieces/nephews but 3 at that age would be be tough.
Hoping for the best for her.
The guy did not do anything wrong. That is a lot to ask of him. Completely change his life and plans overnight. It's wonderful what she has chosen to do, but he is not a bad guy for not wanting to do it.
This lady has made a decision without his support.
She is no longer the woman the boyfriend loved.
She is now a woman with 3 kids he had no say in the matter.
I believe they both have to chose separate paths.
So, she is a single mom of three now. Her bf has a choice and he made his. I understand his decision.
Adoption subsidies should be available for her and the kids! Have her research!
I think she is more concerned about the help and companionship, but you make a good point about the $$$
@@Warchick1003 I agree....was just adding that info as it can be helpful.
She adopted 3 not 1 not 2 but 3 kids without dudes input on the spot 🤣 that's not like getting pregnant when you have nine months to prepare for 1 child most of the time .... that's a huge life change to toss on the dude
I suspect he'll come around but this idea that any normal human wouldn't at least be stunned for a few months or so before this settled in to this idea
@@landonlowe4029 he’s not coming around. Dude is 26 making $90k. She’s no longer the high school sweetheart, she’s a mother of 3 kids that are not his. He’s going to enjoy his life while she enjoys hers.
@@ivanvargas2425 Him taking on those kids would be THE WORST FINANCIAL DECISION he could ever make.
@@TheAgentmigs agreed however money isn’t everything. Her taking care of the kids is above that but to go from 0 kids to 3 kids is mentally to much.
@@TheAgentmigs yes
Wishing the best Daisy! You are not alone!
This helps me see how much my partner loves me and I love him. We are all in on each other. Sometimes I have imposter syndrome really bad and it tells me he doesn't really want to be here...but man. He really has went all in. I hope she can find that, too.
So so many guys are ready to not only take on 3 kids but also to appreciate a woman with a heart as big as hers.
Sounded like she is leaving some things out, these children probably have serious issues
due to the circumstances/situations they have endured due to all the life changes and both their parents are addicts.
Foster parenting 3 such little girls will be quite the undertaking for a 26 year old single woman who said she didn't want to have children(birth them.)
The boyfriend (according to her) wanted children (bio ones with her.)
Their relationship started when they were 16/17 years old, they have decent jobs and are able to do alright, have a good lifestyle.
It becomes a different thing when she decided to bring in three vulnerable little girls (her nieces.)
The other family members had them for four months and returned them to foster care, the boyfriend saying no to the situation isn't necessary a bad thing,
we have no idea what the girls have suffered due to having parents that are addicts.
Those three little girls need to be placed with a couple who have specialized training in caring for little children that are battle scared
from their difficult situations: broken homes, addicted parents and being abandoned by adults that aren't
ready and or qualified to care for them and provide for their individual needs.
It doesn't sound too well thought out, heart-driven to help(yes, it is easy to be lead by emotions) but those girls deserve better than that .
The guy is smart. He's doing the right thing. They aren't married. He is under no obligation.
What a gentle-hearted woman. She is ready to commit to her family and future. He is not. This is where you part ways and say well best wishes in your future endeavors.
That is a brave woman, but she must understand that the boyfriend really didnt signed for this, best wishes for both of them, and may God help her to give the best life possible to those kids.
She didn’t dodge a bullet. he made it very clear what he wanted and what he didn’t want. That was a gracious action on his part not some luck on her part.