this book isn't even worth a review this long, but I'm writing it because I actually truly believe this book can be a dangerous tool for the wrong person, against innocent people who mean well. This is just another one of those books written by someone that carries a popular new age stance that "conflict is bad" (or at least does not in any way express a proper place for it) and that if you're not experiencing joy, something is wrong. This book is soooo black or white I can't believe it. It does not in any way leave room the the nuance of reality, and is very obviously written by someone living a sheltered life of their own delusion. It does what a lot of other texts do, by containing a simple notion that people in general would likely agree on, but twists it into a gross distortion until it makes no sense in the context of the book, or most importantly real life. This book gives me vibes of "The Secret": Shallow, with concepts obviously not truly examined or taken to logical ends. It does not hold water, but I can see how it would suck naïve readers in by offering shiny objects in the form of "how to be happy" promises. That's what sells book. That's what sells everything. So many concepts in this book are not only misunderstood by the author, but conflated as the same thing. I may update with examples in the future. It's greatest crime is not acknowledging the very real fact that certain behaviors cause tremendous and very real pain and suffering to people, and can easily be used to enable narcissists to dismiss their own behaviors by "forgiving themselves" and giving themselves a free pass not to acknowledge what they have done to others because "it's in the past" and they've "moved past that". There's a gap as wide as the universe between letting go of something you personally can't control because clinging to it is harming you, and completely forgetting realities that have happened and have not been addressed. You CAN simultaneously forgive someone emotionally, AND they can still need to be held justly accountable for their actions. This book is promoting a fairytale which cannot logically exist for everyone. There would be no order or peace. In the right hands a young person can be introduced into the very true reality that they can habituate their mind to control their thoughts, and therefore have more peace of mind in dealing with and flowing with realities of life to which they have no control over. However, In the wrong hands this is a dangerous book for the world, as it never once mentions or even in the most remote way acknowledges that consequences for actions rightly exist, and that there are countless real world instances where protecting oneself is incredibly necessary for your physical and mental well being. This is the narcissist's dream book, as they can use it with reckless abandon against their victim to argue how they should be forgiven and the past should be forgotten because "only love is real, and forgiveness and letting go is love"... They can proclaim it confidently because someone with perceived societal authority on the subject (a psychiatrist) wrote it. This entire book rides on the premise that if you were wronged, it's only a feeling, not a reality, and it's in your head. That's a narcissist's bread and butter psychological move against their victims. Also, I too found this book very egocentric. There's a story where a young man saw the author on TV and decided to hitchhike across the country to see him. Upon meeting the young man, the author was annoyed, thought the man smelled, and purposely tried to avoid engaging him and said if he could wait until the following day, he would meet with him. The next day they talked and the young man wasn't sure why he had came to see him, so the author suggested them both meditating about it. Upon meditating, the authors "inner voice" told him "This man came across the country as a gift to you to tell you he saw perfect love in your eyes..." it was after that that he noticed the horrible smell of the man went away.... Ok let's break this down here. The fact that the next day the man still stunk, meant that he was not even offered a place to stay or given a shower the previous night. The authors inner voice projecting the absurd idea that this guy saw "perfect love in his eyes" screams narcissist. There's also another story about forgiveness where the author is legitimately owed $500 by someone he gave services to. (another review mentions this story but didn't mention what I'm going to say). The author says that he saw the bill, started getting angry, but then his inner voice told him to forgive this guy, but then he proceeded to call the customer and tell him about his anger and that he had decided to forgive him! That is manipulation!!! THAT is exactly what a narcissist does! Turns out the customer sent the money the next day, gee I wonder why? Anyone with a brain knows that if the author had actually forgiven the customer, and the situation, you "Let it go" and don't mention it at all! The book is filled with nonsense and these are just two examples. I am not kidding at all when I say that the notes I would write debunking this garbage would be longer than the book itself. While I hate the thought of someone buying this and making this person any wealthier off of nonsense... at the same time I think it belongs in a thinking persons library, to stand as an example of just how horrible a text can be written by a "professional" in their field and, with over 1,500 reviews, still rate 4.6 out of 5. That should stand as a reminder of the state of the world we live in and just how little critical thinking exists. Buy it used, or get find it free somewhere, and literally laugh out loud as I did, and then shudder in disbelief as I did, while reading it.
My Mentor wrote this book. LifeChanging!!!!!!
buy the book, (it’s inexpensive) used is fine….apply the principles, t
Shift for a moment then think of them as fearful💜💜
this book isn't even worth a review this long, but I'm writing it because I actually truly believe this book can be a dangerous tool for the wrong person, against innocent people who mean well.
This is just another one of those books written by someone that carries a popular new age stance that "conflict is bad" (or at least does not in any way express a proper place for it) and that if you're not experiencing joy, something is wrong. This book is soooo black or white I can't believe it. It does not in any way leave room the the nuance of reality, and is very obviously written by someone living a sheltered life of their own delusion.
It does what a lot of other texts do, by containing a simple notion that people in general would likely agree on, but twists it into a gross distortion until it makes no sense in the context of the book, or most importantly real life.
This book gives me vibes of "The Secret": Shallow, with concepts obviously not truly examined or taken to logical ends. It does not hold water, but I can see how it would suck naïve readers in by offering shiny objects in the form of "how to be happy" promises. That's what sells book. That's what sells everything.
So many concepts in this book are not only misunderstood by the author, but conflated as the same thing. I may update with examples in the future.
It's greatest crime is not acknowledging the very real fact that certain behaviors cause tremendous and very real pain and suffering to people, and can easily be used to enable narcissists to dismiss their own behaviors by "forgiving themselves" and giving themselves a free pass not to acknowledge what they have done to others because "it's in the past" and they've "moved past that".
There's a gap as wide as the universe between letting go of something you personally can't control because clinging to it is harming you, and completely forgetting realities that have happened and have not been addressed. You CAN simultaneously forgive someone emotionally, AND they can still need to be held justly accountable for their actions. This book is promoting a fairytale which cannot logically exist for everyone. There would be no order or peace.
In the right hands a young person can be introduced into the very true reality that they can habituate their mind to control their thoughts, and therefore have more peace of mind in dealing with and flowing with realities of life to which they have no control over.
However, In the wrong hands this is a dangerous book for the world, as it never once mentions or even in the most remote way acknowledges that consequences for actions rightly exist, and that there are countless real world instances where protecting oneself is incredibly necessary for your physical and mental well being. This is the narcissist's dream book, as they can use it with reckless abandon against their victim to argue how they should be forgiven and the past should be forgotten because "only love is real, and forgiveness and letting go is love"... They can proclaim it confidently because someone with perceived societal authority on the subject (a psychiatrist) wrote it. This entire book rides on the premise that if you were wronged, it's only a feeling, not a reality, and it's in your head. That's a narcissist's bread and butter psychological move against their victims.
Also, I too found this book very egocentric. There's a story where a young man saw the author on TV and decided to hitchhike across the country to see him. Upon meeting the young man, the author was annoyed, thought the man smelled, and purposely tried to avoid engaging him and said if he could wait until the following day, he would meet with him. The next day they talked and the young man wasn't sure why he had came to see him, so the author suggested them both meditating about it. Upon meditating, the authors "inner voice" told him "This man came across the country as a gift to you to tell you he saw perfect love in your eyes..." it was after that that he noticed the horrible smell of the man went away....
Ok let's break this down here. The fact that the next day the man still stunk, meant that he was not even offered a place to stay or given a shower the previous night. The authors inner voice projecting the absurd idea that this guy saw "perfect love in his eyes" screams narcissist.
There's also another story about forgiveness where the author is legitimately owed $500 by someone he gave services to. (another review mentions this story but didn't mention what I'm going to say). The author says that he saw the bill, started getting angry, but then his inner voice told him to forgive this guy, but then he proceeded to call the customer and tell him about his anger and that he had decided to forgive him! That is manipulation!!! THAT is exactly what a narcissist does! Turns out the customer sent the money the next day, gee I wonder why? Anyone with a brain knows that if the author had actually forgiven the customer, and the situation, you "Let it go" and don't mention it at all!
The book is filled with nonsense and these are just two examples. I am not kidding at all when I say that the notes I would write debunking this garbage would be longer than the book itself.
While I hate the thought of someone buying this and making this person any wealthier off of nonsense... at the same time I think it belongs in a thinking persons library, to stand as an example of just how horrible a text can be written by a "professional" in their field and, with over 1,500 reviews, still rate 4.6 out of 5. That should stand as a reminder of the state of the world we live in and just how little critical thinking exists.
Buy it used, or get find it free somewhere, and literally laugh out loud as I did, and then shudder in disbelief as I did, while reading it.