THIS is the content i subscribed to you guys for. issues like this are so important and i'm glad you're using a true, touching story in one of your videos. and also thank you for adding the suicide prevention lifeline number - im proud of you all.
Do you think I should just leave the country and leave no traces? I mean this way no one would know if I'm still alive or not. And then no one has to go through that grief
@@Bubbagumppp hey man, thanks for the concern. But I chose to turn my life around. I took Professional photos to apply for jobs, gonna start running and eating healthy again. It all began by my friend telling me that "bro I don't wanna be rude but you stink" A real wakeup call
I've lost several friends to suicide. And, oddly, despite being a part of many circles of people who struggle with mental health, only two of those people took their lives. The others were unexpected. The "happy people". The ones that, even those of us who know EXACTLY what to look for and can just "get a sense about" in people, still couldn't pick up on it. November is one of the worst months for me bc of some of these anniversaries -- snowballing with the seasonal change and holiday aches. This was oddly comforting. I haven't really had the chance to get mad at some of these people. It always felt "wrong". But I'm mad a little bit at times. I'm not entirely angry bc I so get it... but it's okay to be mad. It's a powerful stage in the grieving process and one you can come back to time and time again. Grieving isn't a linear process through the stages. It's constant and nebulous and painful. Some of my friends died 15 whole years ago -- when *I* was 15 at the time. ...others much more recently. The pain never really fully goes away. :( Thanks for sharing something so important -- I hope more people get the message and understand what you're communicating here. And, I'm sorry for your loss.
Don't make the choice they made, there is another way out if you are that sad, everyone who liked this comment will be here for you if you want help :)
This is both the best and the worst thing I could be watching right now. I'm such an emotional mess right now and can't help but think about how easy it could be to just put an end to my suffering - or what I at least perceive as such. At the same time I don't want to make anyone else suffer, anyone else be mad at me. And I don't really know where I wanted to go with this, but thank you for creating this video. Hopefully it'll make others think, both to reach out to people and to rethink what they may consider doing.
I want you to know that people love, support and care about you. Every day you are on this planet is a better day. You are here for a purpose. It may feel like you're alone but just remember that people are always going to stand behind you. I don't know you yet I love you. I'm cheering for you. I believe you are meaningful and worthy of love. Sincerely, Max
Please reach out to people yourself, Hun. There are people who love you and would want to help you in any way they can, even if it's just being there to listen. Please find at least one person in your life to share what you are feeling with. And don't forget there are always hotlines to call or text, other supports on the internet, and local agencies that can help (from your primary care doc to school/college couselors to suicide prevention organizations, and more), too. Please be safe. You are valued and loved and important and irreplaceable.
I feel the same way, but everytime I feel like doing it, I remember that there would be people that would miss me. Even though it doesn't always feel like it, but focus on the little things they do/say to you, stay strong ❤
Talk to someone. Get help. It's scary to admit it, it's hard to do but trust me... When you can finally get your head above water, it's really worth it
For those who do not understand the video: This is featuring a man who lost a friend to suicide - and he is sharing his feelings. The clear thing about this video is that the pain of losing someone never goes away - not even after a year. Not even after 10 years. Not ever. I lost a close friend last last sunday - 26 November*. And i know what he means. It makes me mad. It makes me hurt. I saw all the signs, i reached out to him but he shunned me away. I did my best but he still left. He left me wondering if I could have changed the entire situation if i was a little more forceful, a little more insistent on helping. It leaves so much ‘maybes’ and ‘what ifs’ that it hurts so much. What makes me really mad is the emptiness he left behind. I should be happy that he’s free but i’m hurt over how empty I feel now. This gaping emptiness that can never be filled. I used to think that, Oh, if i died, people will just be sad for awhile then it’ll dull off and they forget me. But I learnt my lesson about that wrong assumption. I lost my friend. And I felt the ripple effect of a suicide. A death does not simply affect your family, your friends. It affects your friend’s friends, your friend’s family, your colleagues and basically anyone and everyone who you’ve met. You might not think you play a big role in this world, you may feel small and alone and insignificant, but that’s not the truth. Death especially suicide causes a ripple effect - because suicide is something that could have been prevented. It’s not a natural form of death. The gaping emptiness that is left behind, hurts so much. And there is nothing to fill that emptiness because it’s the shape of a unique human. Someone you share memories with, someone who’s laughter rings in your mind and smile that imprints in your memory. Someone irreplaceable. It’s so much emptiness. So much feelings. So much pain that comes in different forms - some in anger, some in hurt, some in numbness, some in denial - any form possible. For anyone who’s hurting right now, your friends care - even if they aren’t good at showing it. Please get professional help. Please get any form of help. Reach Out. You matter.
My freshman year of college, one of my best friends committed suicide. November 15. That day will forever stand out as the day that changed my life completely. He wasnt someone who you could tell he was depressed. He never acted sad. I didn't know much about depression or even that people could be sad and not show it at all. I was pretty blind then. It felt like be slapped in the face. No context nothing. Out of the blue. I see him everywhere.
dumbeetle1 I’m sorry for your lost - and know that I know how you feel. But I also understand that a loss of a close friend is something that cannot be comforted - you’ll hurt and there’s little relief to it. But I hope you don’t blame yourself over your best friend’s passing. People bury their hurt and depressed feelings because it’s hard to be explained, it’s hard to get people to understand so it’s easier to hide it. But a way I can share with you on how to notice something’s iffy or something’s not right - is to look at their eyes. and Pay attention when you see them walking alone in the hallways or anything. Look if their smiles reach their eyes or if their laughter stays. Sometimes they smile, they laugh but it does reach their eyes - their eyes will still look sad or bothered. If it’s not a genuine laugh or smile, it’ll disappear very quickly. Like idk, i’d notice that when my friend laughed, and when the passing moment is over, his smile fades quickly and he looks down and away. Also, look at their expression when they’re alone. Do they look free and unbothered? Or do they frown and look deep in unhappy thoughts or simply down? It’s hard to tell and it takes a lot of attention to detail and patience to tell. BUT NEVER ASSUME. If you see that they look down or anything, just ask “is there’s something wrong? Nah cause you looked a little down.” look into their eyes and ask them. If they look uncomfortable but tries to laugh it off and denies, just say “oh if you say so... but know that I care for you and if there’s anything wrong, you can depend on me too - i’m your friend after all!” or something like that - show your support. show that you don’t believe that they’re okay but don’t be IN THEIR FACE about it. Respect their space but probe kindly often to show that you care and try to help them. But if they choose to share with you, please NO JUDGEMENT. Hear it as it is, be empathetic. Try to understand even if you can’t. Don’t share around what you heard. Always try to be there for them. It’s always tricky but just try your best. Never be impulsive when it comes to these things. The above examples are just examples of what i do. and has worked. IF it’s an issue that is too big for you to handle, try to get them to seek professional help. Sometimes when you’re unfamiliar on how to help - you can cause a trouble if you randomly throw suggestions. Just always be empathetic. Don’t judge. Be brave to show that you care. Respect them - their privacy and what they want to do. Be attentive and be patient. It’s tough to help, but don’t ever purposely ignore the symptoms - it’ll just leave you remorseful in the end if something really happens Good luck 💕
I lost my bestfriend to a horrible... horrible diease when i was 14. It ate his brains and I watched him as he slowly forgot how to walk, how to talk, how to eat... how to breathe... I never got to make things right, you always think you have more time but time is the most horrific thing we know as we can't control it. I've been mad at myself for so long that I forgot why. I haven't had a friend as close as you in 6 years. I've missed you and been alone almost every day for 6 years. I've been in pain every day for 6 years. I'm sorry I let you down. I love you bo. I don't know why I even write this down on a UA-cam comment... Nobody reads or truly cares about these anyways.
My best friend Phoebe committed suicide last year, and I, still processing the fact that she’s gone and she’s not coming back. I still have her contact on my phone and I almost cried when I saw it. The worst part is she killed her self because of her sexuality. The bulling became too much for her, plus a unsupportive family, which resulted to her death. I never saw the signs, and I never got a goodbye either. If anyone feels like they caused their friends death because they didn’t see the signs, it’s not your fault. All you can do is remember the good times.
Please, do not feel guilty. I've suffered from depression for 5-6 years now and have been thinking about committing suicide more than once. If someone wants to kill themselves, there isn't much you can do. Depression makes you feel like nobody cares, like you're a burden and makes you actually believe that it will not get better, that you could never be fine. I've become very good at hiding my feelings and very few people that know me personally would suspect that I suffer from depression. Even my family and long time friends have trouble telling whether or not I'm depressed. As sad as it, suicide sometimes seems like the only option. You can overcome depression but only if you actively want to, that's something you couldn't have done for your friend. We can't always help those close to us.
Marie take a pills and therapy, church be hard on yourself, don't give up.Sometimes you must fight for yourself nobody helps you. I know I had depression 20y.
As a person whose best friend commited suicide in high school, this video resonates within me. Best of luck and love to all those out there with a similar experience. May there not be too many more of us in this world. Those thinking about suicide: really please just talk to anybody. Your life really does matter.
I lost my friend about six months ago. He always posted “scary” things on social media but never went through with anything so no one ever knew when to take it seriously. We missed the mark one time and then he was gone. I can’t go a day without thinking of him & having a lump form immediately in my throat. I share his name. I miss him so much.
I’m mad that no matter how hard I try, I can’t be mad at you. It wasn’t your fault you felt this way and saw this as the only way out. I’m mad at myself for not noticing that you were struggling. I’m mad that we will never get married. I’m mad that we will never have kids. I’m mad that 3 years of memories with you now makes me sad. I’m mad that the world took you from me with no warning.
Man this killed. Lost my brother to suicide several years ago. He never stops popping up in my head and ruining a good time. Thank you for verbalizing how it feels to love someone and also be angry they left you.
What pisses me off is that everyone says "I never saw the signs", while shutting down someone who opens up to you because you think they're just being dramatic. If you're truly someone's friend, step up and HELP, instead of being sad after they're gone
This hits close to home. It has been almost 3 years and I still miss my brother. I get angry with him sometime, but that has never been the overriding emotion. I have always felt sad that he felt he had to take his life to get relief. Christmas is hard because it was his favorite holiday. He would wake up at 4:30 a.m., even as an adult, and just sit looking at the tree with its lights all aglow.
I just lost my grandfather this past weekend from suicide. This video couldn’t have come at a better/worse time. It hit so hard because it sums up everything I have felt over the last couple is days, so thank you BuzzFeed.
i remember i saw this as a teen and didnt fully comprehend it, now at the age of 24 i understand why i saved this video. the constant struggle is slowly winning
wow, this hit me so hard. thank you for this. i have been angry for a very long time. it's been hard to even understand it, until i saw this. the only difference with my experience is that my "friend" is still alive. she betrayed me, and it truly broke my heart. it turns out she was never the person i thought she was, and IT HURTS. what am i supposed to do with all these good memories, now? that is the basis of my rage. i have let her go, and i know that i'm better off for it after learning how toxic she actually was. ONLY TIME will make things better, that's all i've got to hold on to when i get angry about it. it's so frustrating.
This came out 3 months after my good friend took her life. It took me this long to feel strong enough to watch this video. This was exactly how I felt for so long. I still have days where every part of my body is angry.
I'm too hurt to be mad. I'm sad that my sister drank herself to death because she could never got over losing a child. I'm sad that I couldn't get her to stop and realize how much her loss would devastate our family. It's been one year and 7 months, and I will never stop missing your beautiful smile, Kelly. I will grieve your loss until I draw my last breath.
I felt everything in this video on a deep level...in 2009 my best friend took his own life. I always felt like I should have known something was wrong, but the truth is sometimes they seem fine. I miss him every day, and I wish he had been around when I had my kids. I named my oldest son after him, so every time I say his name it hurts just a little, but makes it feel like he is still here. I love and miss you, Josh.
Thank you for making this...because sometimes I'm mad at myself for being mad at myself...I'm mad at people and God and the choices I didn't make and the choice I did make...I'm mad because my life turned out the way it did and I'm mad cos I feels alone in being mad and I'm mad that there is no outlet for being mad...I'm mad that no one understands and those that should will get mad at how I feel...I'm mad that I cant always say how I feel because I dont even understand it myself...this video made me breathe so deep and made my heart beat so much inside chest that I could feel it again...thank you for being mad and telling me you are because I can see how I'm not alone and that others get mad...I get mad and it's ok...thank you...thank you!
That’s the problem! I don’t want people to be mad at me. I’m not sure if people would even notice If I wouldn’t be there anymore but if they do I hope they’re not gonna be mad
My best friend died from opioid addiction in August. I've never related to a video so much, thank you. I'm mad that she thought I would judge her. I'm mad that she won't meet my babies....
This video made me sad but the comments were even worse. There are so many people struggling to find they way they live and then there are people just being terrible and hateful. Even if only one person sees this I hope they know that they are loved and wanted. One of my very close friends commutes suicide because he thought he wasn’t good enough. Anyone who sees this again know that you are more than enough. ❤️
I'm mad that I took care of you for so many years. That I tried to make you ready for the world and ready for all of it. I'm mad that you didn't just call me.... I loved you man.
Being a person that suffers from depression, this cuts deep, to see the aftermath, to know the feelings of somebody left behind, I've been on the brink and back, and I can't even imagine the inconsolable pain, thankfully I've reached out and have gotten help
When I lost my friend, it hit me like a freight train. I began thinking "I must know someone else with the same name", in complete disbelief I initially laughed...told my other best friend that I'd carry on working....I didn't really know what to do. As soon as I got to the door to go back in...all my emotions finally caught up and I sobbed. I managed to go home, and I sobbed uncontrollably for days...then weeks went by and I'd burst into tears randomly. Took a whole month off unpaid, and started to spiral into debt, depression, grief and further anxiety. 5 years later I'd love to say it's easier, it isn't. It's just manageable. I've managed to expand my circle slightly, and when I'm down I remember our times together fondly. My only regret is that I never celebrated her life, I grieved, I missed her, I got angry, but I never celebrated how wonderful she was. Even now I struggle to talk about it properly to people, unless I'm just talking about the facts, I don't talk about how I felt or how I feel now. The death of a friend is like the death of a family member, the biggest difference though is that you choose your friends. Hold them close.
my best friend tried killing herself over the summer. it was out of no where, so unexpected and random. i would spend every day for the past couple years with her, so when i heard from her parents about it, i was heartbroken. it's crazy how much people can hide deep dark emotions like this, without expressing anything.
I'm mad that I was so ready to just end my life today...until I randomly saw this. Still thinking about leaving this awful cruel world, but i'm only here because I don't want to hurt my friends who I have not seen in over 2 years who I miss very much but just can't seem to get back in touch because I've ignored them for too long due to my anxiety :-(
I ended up finally deleting my Facebook when I realized the only reason I still was using it was to message and call my friend who ended up taking his life. It was to sad seeing all the past funny messages we sent to each other and it was on Facebook were I found out from my former supervisor what happened. I still miss you Quinton and still prey you found the peace you were looking for after you lost your grandparents in such a short time.
This imagery is brilliant. It’s not what you say, but how you say it that makes something resonate. The way the darkness envelops more and more of the friend in the chair, until the chair is finally empty, then the candles blowing out in the dark. Very well done, I felt like I’d lost Big D.
I just lost one of my best friends last month to suicide and this video made me bawl. You just never understand truly why, you question yourself, if there's anything you could've done and you just have to cherish the good. Suicide is such a serious matter.
Cant be mad at someone for taking their life. Sometimes its the only option especially when there is no hope of improvement. I won't be around for much longer
This hit close to home because I lost a best friend who I talked to every single day of my life and never though in a million years they would take their own lives, I completely overlooked it and I question it everyday as if I never knew them. It’s been 6 months now, fly high Westley ❤️
it’s been 4 weeks and 4 days since my friend died, and everything i look at reminds me of him. i’ll get random episodes of crying in bed and i hate it *so much.* if i look at my school’s choir, i’m reminded of how he got into the state’s choir. if i look at a piece of pizza, i’m reminded of a field trip we had years ago. no matter what i look at or what i do, he always pops into my head and i hate it.
This hits really close to home for me. I lost my best friend almost a year ago, and still not a day goes by that I don't think about her. It's usually just sadness, and longing to have her around again, but every once in a while, I do get mad at her. I get mad because she's not here anymore, that she left me here to pick up the broken pieces of myself and my life without her.
Today marks a year since my friend passed away. I still don't know what happened. I felt guilty for feeling so angry at so many people and so many things. I will probably never know what happened to her. I don't even know where she is buried. If she was buried. I can't help but feel like she ended her own life. The last few weeks rooming with her, she looked so depressed. She'd given up. Before she graduated, she gave me a painted stone. She deleted all her social media and gave away some of her belongings to close friends. I can't take that out of my head.
I come back to this frequently when I get down about my friend and even almost after two years it still hits the spot. It’s also oddly comforting to not be the only person who gets this
I lost my cousin almost a year ago to the day. I was brought to tears by your video. It's so honest and true and hits all of my feelings. I feel for you and your friends. Thank you for sharing. I miss my cousin every day.
This broke my heart. I've been feeling really unmotivated and depressed (more than usual) lately, and this video made me actually feel something other than numbness.
Dec 17th will be one year that my best friend since we were kids has made her way home.. And I miss her so so much.. I am mad that we will not grow old together as we had planned.........
I'm mad because I always called the Suicide hotline. I'm mad because I always talked to strangers. I'm mad because I didn't talk to my family and friends even if they were there, but all they say are positive things, yet shallow words that don't reach my heart. I'm mad because they weren't honest enough to talk with.
people don’t care more when people dies. they just show the care more. as human beings, we are often v bad at showing our love, care and concern. So we keep it within ourselves, camouflage our care and love under layers and layers of tough love or discreet acts. Unfortunately, in our society, it’s always easier to show apathy than empathy and love.
Lost someone as well.. and actually, we are not mad at them but mad at ourselves for allowing someone whom we care about so much, to cross that verge of despair
"Nothing is so bad it can't get better. Depression is a monster but it can be beaten. You may spend a night feeling hopeless and empty, but the next morning the sun will feel warm, food will taste good, music will sound nice, and your friends will be eager to talk and laugh with you again." I wrote this one morning, thinking of a best friend who I knew was depressed. I was going to give it to her the next time I saw her, but that was the day we realized she hadn't answered anybody's texts or calls. I found her that evening, and I'll never know if it, or anything I should have said, would have helped. It's not worth it and it never will be. Someone out there has a thousand ways to say "I love you" and wants the time and chance to say them all. Someone out there wants more than anything to shoulder your burden for you. With all the people on earth, there are thousands who alone would make life worth living to know them; and odds are you're one of them to somebody.
"I'm mad for all the times we spent analyzing everything you ever said"... I felt that.
i saw this as it played in the video...
THIS is the content i subscribed to you guys for. issues like this are so important and i'm glad you're using a true, touching story in one of your videos. and also thank you for adding the suicide prevention lifeline number - im proud of you all.
saff Agreed
Except now they are just posting feminism stuff
@@the_clapp3r298 And promoting racism 24/7.
@@elderxemo92 Right!? Buzzfeed is just getting annoying.
this isn’t about just losing a friend- it’s about losing them to suicide. that is the worst feeling in the world.
Do you think I should just leave the country and leave no traces? I mean this way no one would know if I'm still alive or not. And then no one has to go through that grief
@@streamlabssupport266 hey if your going through something please get some help. There are always people for you and things worth living for.
@@Bubbagumppp hey man, thanks for the concern. But I chose to turn my life around. I took Professional photos to apply for jobs, gonna start running and eating healthy again.
It all began by my friend telling me that "bro I don't wanna be rude but you stink"
A real wakeup call
@@streamlabssupport266 I am so proud of you
‘Because I have to be the sole keeper of so many memories’ - perfectly described. I miss you Zoe.
I've lost several friends to suicide. And, oddly, despite being a part of many circles of people who struggle with mental health, only two of those people took their lives. The others were unexpected. The "happy people". The ones that, even those of us who know EXACTLY what to look for and can just "get a sense about" in people, still couldn't pick up on it. November is one of the worst months for me bc of some of these anniversaries -- snowballing with the seasonal change and holiday aches. This was oddly comforting. I haven't really had the chance to get mad at some of these people. It always felt "wrong". But I'm mad a little bit at times. I'm not entirely angry bc I so get it... but it's okay to be mad. It's a powerful stage in the grieving process and one you can come back to time and time again. Grieving isn't a linear process through the stages. It's constant and nebulous and painful. Some of my friends died 15 whole years ago -- when *I* was 15 at the time. ...others much more recently. The pain never really fully goes away. :(
Thanks for sharing something so important -- I hope more people get the message and understand what you're communicating here. And, I'm sorry for your loss.
One is bad enough, I couldn't imagine losing several; so sorry...
Don't make the choice they made, there is another way out if you are that sad, everyone who liked this comment will be here for you if you want help :)
Kaalyn - OPG I am so sorry, it’s so hard to lose someone so close to you
Kaalyn - OPG this had me in tears
Kaalyn - OPG sometimes the ones who appear most happy are the ones who need help. Take sayori for example.
This is both the best and the worst thing I could be watching right now. I'm such an emotional mess right now and can't help but think about how easy it could be to just put an end to my suffering - or what I at least perceive as such. At the same time I don't want to make anyone else suffer, anyone else be mad at me. And I don't really know where I wanted to go with this, but thank you for creating this video. Hopefully it'll make others think, both to reach out to people and to rethink what they may consider doing.
Bleac i
I want you to know that people love, support and care about you. Every day you are on this planet is a better day. You are here for a purpose. It may feel like you're alone but just remember that people are always going to stand behind you. I don't know you yet I love you. I'm cheering for you. I believe you are meaningful and worthy of love.
Sincerely,
Max
Please reach out to people yourself, Hun. There are people who love you and would want to help you in any way they can, even if it's just being there to listen. Please find at least one person in your life to share what you are feeling with. And don't forget there are always hotlines to call or text, other supports on the internet, and local agencies that can help (from your primary care doc to school/college couselors to suicide prevention organizations, and more), too. Please be safe. You are valued and loved and important and irreplaceable.
I feel the same way, but everytime I feel like doing it, I remember that there would be people that would miss me. Even though it doesn't always feel like it, but focus on the little things they do/say to you, stay strong ❤
I want you to feel hugged by a stranger from Berlin.you are not alone.
hot damn the editing on this is great.
Mr Not That Famous eyyyyyyy
Mr Not That Famous Ennit
Mr Not That Famous I subscribed to you
Hi
hey guys I just posted a new video and im looking for feedback and subs lmk what you think
I'm mad at you for doing something I'm still scared to do.
Marissa Love wow that hit me hard
Marissa Love Me
feeling scared is normal, and it prevents us from doing things the people you cherish & you would suffer from.
Talk to someone. Get help. It's scary to admit it, it's hard to do but trust me... When you can finally get your head above water, it's really worth it
Violet Washburn same
For those who do not understand the video:
This is featuring a man who lost a friend to suicide - and he is sharing his feelings.
The clear thing about this video is that the pain of losing someone never goes away - not even after a year. Not even after 10 years. Not ever.
I lost a close friend last last sunday - 26 November*.
And i know what he means.
It makes me mad. It makes me hurt.
I saw all the signs, i reached out to him but he shunned me away. I did my best but he still left. He left me wondering if I could have changed the entire situation if i was a little more forceful, a little more insistent on helping.
It leaves so much ‘maybes’ and ‘what ifs’ that it hurts so much.
What makes me really mad is the emptiness he left behind. I should be happy that he’s free but i’m hurt over how empty I feel now. This gaping emptiness that can never be filled.
I used to think that, Oh, if i died, people will just be sad for awhile then it’ll dull off and they forget me.
But I learnt my lesson about that wrong assumption. I lost my friend. And I felt the ripple effect of a suicide. A death does not simply affect your family, your friends. It affects your friend’s friends, your friend’s family, your colleagues and basically anyone and everyone who you’ve met. You might not think you play a big role in this world, you may feel small and alone and insignificant, but that’s not the truth. Death especially suicide causes a ripple effect - because suicide is something that could have been prevented. It’s not a natural form of death.
The gaping emptiness that is left behind, hurts so much. And there is nothing to fill that emptiness because it’s the shape of a unique human. Someone you share memories with, someone who’s laughter rings in your mind and smile that imprints in your memory. Someone irreplaceable.
It’s so much emptiness. So much feelings. So much pain that comes in different forms - some in anger, some in hurt, some in numbness, some in denial - any form possible.
For anyone who’s hurting right now, your friends care - even if they aren’t good at showing it. Please get professional help. Please get any form of help. Reach Out.
You matter.
Do u mean 26 NOVEMBER
Baby Koala I’m not human lol.
The way you described it... it's too real.
My freshman year of college, one of my best friends committed suicide. November 15. That day will forever stand out as the day that changed my life completely. He wasnt someone who you could tell he was depressed. He never acted sad. I didn't know much about depression or even that people could be sad and not show it at all. I was pretty blind then. It felt like be slapped in the face. No context nothing. Out of the blue. I see him everywhere.
dumbeetle1 I’m sorry for your lost - and know that I know how you feel. But I also understand that a loss of a close friend is something that cannot be comforted - you’ll hurt and there’s little relief to it.
But I hope you don’t blame yourself over your best friend’s passing. People bury their hurt and depressed feelings because it’s hard to be explained, it’s hard to get people to understand so it’s easier to hide it.
But a way I can share with you on how to notice something’s iffy or something’s not right - is to look at their eyes. and Pay attention when you see them walking alone in the hallways or anything.
Look if their smiles reach their eyes or if their laughter stays. Sometimes they smile, they laugh but it does reach their eyes - their eyes will still look sad or bothered. If it’s not a genuine laugh or smile, it’ll disappear very quickly. Like idk, i’d notice that when my friend laughed, and when the passing moment is over, his smile fades quickly and he looks down and away.
Also, look at their expression when they’re alone. Do they look free and unbothered? Or do they frown and look deep in unhappy thoughts or simply down?
It’s hard to tell and it takes a lot of attention to detail and patience to tell. BUT NEVER ASSUME. If you see that they look down or anything, just ask “is there’s something wrong? Nah cause you looked a little down.” look into their eyes and ask them. If they look uncomfortable but tries to laugh it off and denies, just say “oh if you say so... but know that I care for you and if there’s anything wrong, you can depend on me too - i’m your friend after all!” or something like that - show your support. show that you don’t believe that they’re okay but don’t be IN THEIR FACE about it. Respect their space but probe kindly often to show that you care and try to help them. But if they choose to share with you, please NO JUDGEMENT. Hear it as it is, be empathetic. Try to understand even if you can’t. Don’t share around what you heard. Always try to be there for them.
It’s always tricky but just try your best. Never be impulsive when it comes to these things.
The above examples are just examples of what i do. and has worked.
IF it’s an issue that is too big for you to handle, try to get them to seek professional help. Sometimes when you’re unfamiliar on how to help - you can cause a trouble if you randomly throw suggestions.
Just always be empathetic. Don’t judge. Be brave to show that you care. Respect them - their privacy and what they want to do. Be attentive and be patient.
It’s tough to help, but don’t ever purposely ignore the symptoms - it’ll just leave you remorseful in the end if something really happens
Good luck 💕
unbelievable. ...so tragic and so beautiful at the same time.
”I am mad that maybe I never knew you” That hit hard....
I lost my bestfriend to a horrible... horrible diease when i was 14. It ate his brains and I watched him as he slowly forgot how to walk, how to talk, how to eat... how to breathe...
I never got to make things right, you always think you have more time but time is the most horrific thing we know as we can't control it. I've been mad at myself for so long that I forgot why. I haven't had a friend as close as you in 6 years. I've missed you and been alone almost every day for 6 years. I've been in pain every day for 6 years. I'm sorry I let you down. I love you bo.
I don't know why I even write this down on a UA-cam comment... Nobody reads or truly cares about these anyways.
Not at all. I read it. And i care enough to make you know that i care. Keeo fighting
Nicolas Caradzoglu Thank you ~
Idk either it’s almost as if it’s impulsive, I literally just wrote a massive paragraph asking for ppl to stop thinking about it
❤️❤️❤️
God, your comment broke my heart into tiny pieces. So much love to you, pal.
Buzzfeed may not be the best channel but this video talks about a really deep and important topic and we should respect it
I get what he meant in this video.
Sly Gale ... You wanna elaborate, or you just going to say something so insignificant Cx
No his friend died
Nick Armock he’s upset because his friend committed suicide and he didn’t know so he couldn’t help him
Nick Armock if you actually watched to the end, it gives you a suicide hotline. Most likely, his friend killed himself.
or maybe he has knows someone who committed suicide
I cried so hard, this was beautiful
Me too.
i think the part where he says you randomly became neat and orderly was a sign that his friend’s mental health was declining
“I’m mad you won’t be in my wedding pictures” that one hit
My best friend Phoebe committed suicide last year, and I, still processing the fact that she’s gone and she’s not coming back. I still have her contact on my phone and I almost cried when I saw it. The worst part is she killed her self because of her sexuality.
The bulling became too much for her, plus a unsupportive family, which resulted to her death. I never saw the signs, and I never got a goodbye either.
If anyone feels like they caused their friends death because they didn’t see the signs, it’s not your fault. All you can do is remember the good times.
Tamara Larissa DID SHE KNOW THE WAY OF THE DEVIL DO U KNOW THE WAY OF THE DEVIL
Lautaro Alegre youre so disrespectful
“unsupportive family” wtf man that makes me mad if it was up to me throw them in jail for that
my best friend as well. her family was terrible to her and her whole environment was homophobic. this whole comment is so relevant and true.
At least you know why
This made me sob. He said everything I've said. I felt his pain in my soul.
ok i just wanna say this affected me alot in many ways, and i wanna thank you for taking the time to make this video and post it here
A friend of mine committed suicide last month. This video is spot on. And with the anger comes so much guilt.
Please, do not feel guilty. I've suffered from depression for 5-6 years now and have been thinking about committing suicide more than once. If someone wants to kill themselves, there isn't much you can do. Depression makes you feel like nobody cares, like you're a burden and makes you actually believe that it will not get better, that you could never be fine. I've become very good at hiding my feelings and very few people that know me personally would suspect that I suffer from depression. Even my family and long time friends have trouble telling whether or not I'm depressed.
As sad as it, suicide sometimes seems like the only option. You can overcome depression but only if you actively want to, that's something you couldn't have done for your friend. We can't always help those close to us.
my friend died to suicide 3 months ago and i’m not mad at her. tbh im still in denial, sometimes i feel like it’s my fault.
My best friend killed herself two weeks ago. I'm so lost. Her funeral is tomorrow.
Marie take a pills and therapy, church be hard on yourself, don't give up.Sometimes you must fight for yourself nobody helps you. I know I had depression 20y.
please tell me, does it get better?
Man this is deep
Damn "I'm mad that after living with you this is how I Got to know your family" this goes deep
As a person whose best friend commited suicide in high school, this video resonates within me. Best of luck and love to all those out there with a similar experience. May there not be too many more of us in this world. Those thinking about suicide: really please just talk to anybody. Your life really does matter.
I lost my friend about six months ago. He always posted “scary” things on social media but never went through with anything so no one ever knew when to take it seriously. We missed the mark one time and then he was gone. I can’t go a day without thinking of him & having a lump form immediately in my throat. I share his name. I miss him so much.
I’ve revisited this video dozens of times. 3 years later and I’m still grieving.
I think I’ve watched it 20 times, your not alone.
I’m mad that no matter how hard I try, I can’t be mad at you. It wasn’t your fault you felt this way and saw this as the only way out. I’m mad at myself for not noticing that you were struggling. I’m mad that we will never get married. I’m mad that we will never have kids. I’m mad that 3 years of memories with you now makes me sad. I’m mad that the world took you from me with no warning.
Man this killed. Lost my brother to suicide several years ago. He never stops popping up in my head and ruining a good time. Thank you for verbalizing how it feels to love someone and also be angry they left you.
I lost a friend to suicide and 10 years later it still hurts as much as it ever did.
this is beautiful x well done to all that took part and for being strongto do this
im not mad, just disappointed.
Yeah, me too
What pisses me off is that everyone says "I never saw the signs", while shutting down someone who opens up to you because you think they're just being dramatic. If you're truly someone's friend, step up and HELP, instead of being sad after they're gone
This hits close to home. It has been almost 3 years and I still miss my brother. I get angry with him sometime, but that has never been the overriding emotion. I have always felt sad that he felt he had to take his life to get relief. Christmas is hard because it was his favorite holiday. He would wake up at 4:30 a.m., even as an adult, and just sit looking at the tree with its lights all aglow.
1 year, two, five, 10. Never goes away. Miss you pal. Just wish you would have spoken with me before.
I just lost my grandfather this past weekend from suicide. This video couldn’t have come at a better/worse time. It hit so hard because it sums up everything I have felt over the last couple is days, so thank you BuzzFeed.
This is so beautiful.
I’m still mad at you for leaving me when you said you were getting better
i remember i saw this as a teen and didnt fully comprehend it, now at the age of 24 i understand why i saved this video. the constant struggle is slowly winning
This really makes you want to pick up the phone and call your friends
Jeffrey Greene Yes.
Jeffrey Greene what friends?
wow, this hit me so hard. thank you for this. i have been angry for a very long time. it's been hard to even understand it, until i saw this. the only difference with my experience is that my "friend" is still alive. she betrayed me, and it truly broke my heart. it turns out she was never the person i thought she was, and IT HURTS. what am i supposed to do with all these good memories, now? that is the basis of my rage.
i have let her go, and i know that i'm better off for it after learning how toxic she actually was. ONLY TIME will make things better, that's all i've got to hold on to when i get angry about it. it's so frustrating.
I'm mad that I never told you how much you meant to me and how much I loved you. You were an amazing friend.
"I'm mad because I can't stop being mad."
This came out 3 months after my good friend took her life. It took me this long to feel strong enough to watch this video. This was exactly how I felt for so long. I still have days where every part of my body is angry.
I'm too hurt to be mad. I'm sad that my sister drank herself to death because she could never got over losing a child. I'm sad that I couldn't get her to stop and realize how much her loss would devastate our family. It's been one year and 7 months, and I will never stop missing your beautiful smile, Kelly. I will grieve your loss until I draw my last breath.
I felt everything in this video on a deep level...in 2009 my best friend took his own life. I always felt like I should have known something was wrong, but the truth is sometimes they seem fine. I miss him every day, and I wish he had been around when I had my kids. I named my oldest son after him, so every time I say his name it hurts just a little, but makes it feel like he is still here. I love and miss you, Josh.
Thank you for making this...because sometimes I'm mad at myself for being mad at myself...I'm mad at people and God and the choices I didn't make and the choice I did make...I'm mad because my life turned out the way it did and I'm mad cos I feels alone in being mad and I'm mad that there is no outlet for being mad...I'm mad that no one understands and those that should will get mad at how I feel...I'm mad that I cant always say how I feel because I dont even understand it myself...this video made me breathe so deep and made my heart beat so much inside chest that I could feel it again...thank you for being mad and telling me you are because I can see how I'm not alone and that others get mad...I get mad and it's ok...thank you...thank you!
i’ve never been mad at my friend... always sad that he lied about getting helped( he wasn’t).. i’m sad that he’s gone..
I've probably watched this over 20 times, and it still hits home.
It’s been 10 months since my cousin’s suicide and this is the most accurate video I’ve seen about my feelings.
That’s the problem! I don’t want people to be mad at me. I’m not sure if people would even notice If I wouldn’t be there anymore but if they do I hope they’re not gonna be mad
My best friend died from opioid addiction in August. I've never related to a video so much, thank you. I'm mad that she thought I would judge her. I'm mad that she won't meet my babies....
Anyone else crying rn because it hits you so hard and you remembered the pain of losing your friend? Same here, im crying too
This video made me sad but the comments were even worse. There are so many people struggling to find they way they live and then there are people just being terrible and hateful. Even if only one person sees this I hope they know that they are loved and wanted. One of my very close friends commutes suicide because he thought he wasn’t good enough. Anyone who sees this again know that you are more than enough. ❤️
I lost my best friend February 2017 and it’s the most painful thing I’ve ever felt
I'm so sorry for your loss, stay strong!
I'm mad that I took care of you for so many years.
That I tried to make you ready for the world and ready for all of it.
I'm mad that you didn't just call me....
I loved you man.
One of the best BuzzFeed vids ever. I felt every word.
Being a person that suffers from depression, this cuts deep, to see the aftermath, to know the feelings of somebody left behind, I've been on the brink and back, and I can't even imagine the inconsolable pain, thankfully I've reached out and have gotten help
When I lost my friend, it hit me like a freight train. I began thinking "I must know someone else with the same name", in complete disbelief I initially laughed...told my other best friend that I'd carry on working....I didn't really know what to do. As soon as I got to the door to go back in...all my emotions finally caught up and I sobbed. I managed to go home, and I sobbed uncontrollably for days...then weeks went by and I'd burst into tears randomly. Took a whole month off unpaid, and started to spiral into debt, depression, grief and further anxiety. 5 years later I'd love to say it's easier, it isn't. It's just manageable. I've managed to expand my circle slightly, and when I'm down I remember our times together fondly. My only regret is that I never celebrated her life, I grieved, I missed her, I got angry, but I never celebrated how wonderful she was. Even now I struggle to talk about it properly to people, unless I'm just talking about the facts, I don't talk about how I felt or how I feel now. The death of a friend is like the death of a family member, the biggest difference though is that you choose your friends. Hold them close.
my best friend tried killing herself over the summer. it was out of no where, so unexpected and random. i would spend every day for the past couple years with her, so when i heard from her parents about it, i was heartbroken. it's crazy how much people can hide deep dark emotions like this, without expressing anything.
I'm mad that I was so ready to just end my life today...until I randomly saw this. Still thinking about leaving this awful cruel world, but i'm only here because I don't want to hurt my friends who I have not seen in over 2 years who I miss very much but just can't seem to get back in touch because I've ignored them for too long due to my anxiety :-(
"But maybe love is every emotion all wrapped into one"
My grandpa took his life two years ago... I’m passed the grieving stage.. but now I’m mad... I’m mad about everything.. I miss him so much..
I’m mad now because you were able to forget me while I couldn’t
I ended up finally deleting my Facebook when I realized the only reason I still was using it was to message and call my friend who ended up taking his life. It was to sad seeing all the past funny messages we sent to each other and it was on Facebook were I found out from my former supervisor what happened. I still miss you Quinton and still prey you found the peace you were looking for after you lost your grandparents in such a short time.
I'm mad that buzzfeed made me cry right now 😞😢
This imagery is brilliant. It’s not what you say, but how you say it that makes something resonate. The way the darkness envelops more and more of the friend in the chair, until the chair is finally empty, then the candles blowing out in the dark. Very well done, I felt like I’d lost Big D.
I’m mad that this isn’t #1 on trending.
Holy crap this was deep
I just lost one of my best friends last month to suicide and this video made me bawl. You just never understand truly why, you question yourself, if there's anything you could've done and you just have to cherish the good. Suicide is such a serious matter.
Thank you for being so honest. We will always love you, Big D
I understand. I'm still dealing with his death. I wish I listened more
Dammm this broke me. I hope this man is okay and is getting help for his loss.🥺💕
Cant be mad at someone for taking their life. Sometimes its the only option especially when there is no hope of improvement. I won't be around for much longer
Same
Absolutely heartbreaking
I totally understand what this video is. I went through so many emotions when my friend died and anger was the longest one.
This hit close to home because I lost a best friend who I talked to every single day of my life and never though in a million years they would take their own lives, I completely overlooked it and I question it everyday as if I never knew them. It’s been 6 months now, fly high Westley ❤️
“Thanks for the beats, big D.”
Omg I really thought this was going to be a Beats by Dre ad.
subbb to me
CharlieCabralos same
Oh my! Hahaha, that would of been horrible if it ways!
it’s been 4 weeks and 4 days since my friend died, and everything i look at reminds me of him. i’ll get random episodes of crying in bed and i hate it *so much.* if i look at my school’s choir, i’m reminded of how he got into the state’s choir. if i look at a piece of pizza, i’m reminded of a field trip we had years ago. no matter what i look at or what i do, he always pops into my head and i hate it.
This hit me close. Lost a friend I’ve known for three years on Sunday. I’m mad that I didn’t take the chance to get closer to him.
This hits really close to home for me. I lost my best friend almost a year ago, and still not a day goes by that I don't think about her. It's usually just sadness, and longing to have her around again, but every once in a while, I do get mad at her. I get mad because she's not here anymore, that she left me here to pick up the broken pieces of myself and my life without her.
It's been seven years, and it all seems like yesterday. I'm mad at myself for not having known you. I'm mad at myself for having lost you.
Today marks a year since my friend passed away. I still don't know what happened. I felt guilty for feeling so angry at so many people and so many things. I will probably never know what happened to her. I don't even know where she is buried. If she was buried. I can't help but feel like she ended her own life. The last few weeks rooming with her, she looked so depressed. She'd given up. Before she graduated, she gave me a painted stone. She deleted all her social media and gave away some of her belongings to close friends. I can't take that out of my head.
I'm mad because I won't ever have a good friend like him.....
I come back to this frequently when I get down about my friend and even almost after two years it still hits the spot. It’s also oddly comforting to not be the only person who gets this
If I ever have a son, I'll name him after you. I'm mad because you'll never know. Rest in peace, Marc
I lost my cousin almost a year ago to the day. I was brought to tears by your video. It's so honest and true and hits all of my feelings. I feel for you and your friends. Thank you for sharing. I miss my cousin every day.
I've lost my best friend to suicide and I'm so mad at her, but at the same time I get why she did what she did. I miss her so much
This broke my heart. I've been feeling really unmotivated and depressed (more than usual) lately, and this video made me actually feel something other than numbness.
Dec 17th will be one year that my best friend since we were kids has made her way home.. And I miss her so so much.. I am mad that we will not grow old together as we had planned.........
I hope one day that madness can turn into sadness and that sadness into tears and those tears in a river that will flow away some day
I'm mad because I always called the Suicide hotline. I'm mad because I always talked to strangers. I'm mad because I didn't talk to my family and friends even if they were there, but all they say are positive things, yet shallow words that don't reach my heart. I'm mad because they weren't honest enough to talk with.
I started crying the more words came out of his mouth. Because every single thing he said was true.
What a compelling video.... sometimes you just need a platform to express yourself
my issue and i have similar issues is why does everyone always care more when the person dies and not while they’re alive
people don’t care more when people dies. they just show the care more. as human beings, we are often v bad at showing our love, care and concern. So we keep it within ourselves, camouflage our care and love under layers and layers of tough love or discreet acts. Unfortunately, in our society, it’s always easier to show apathy than empathy and love.
I miss my dear friend Olan Martin so much I just can’t handle this I wish I could have done better and been a better friend
Lost someone as well.. and actually, we are not mad at them but mad at ourselves for allowing someone whom we care about so much, to cross that verge of despair
That hit me in the heart ♥️ I just lost a friend today and I can relate sooo much
I wish you were still here Pat. Rest easy buddy.
It gets easier after 3-4 years. One year is a short time. I remember being mostly angry, too. I didn't expect that.
"Nothing is so bad it can't get better. Depression is a monster but it can be beaten. You may spend a night feeling hopeless and empty, but the next morning the sun will feel warm, food will taste good, music will sound nice, and your friends will be eager to talk and laugh with you again."
I wrote this one morning, thinking of a best friend who I knew was depressed. I was going to give it to her the next time I saw her, but that was the day we realized she hadn't answered anybody's texts or calls. I found her that evening, and I'll never know if it, or anything I should have said, would have helped.
It's not worth it and it never will be. Someone out there has a thousand ways to say "I love you" and wants the time and chance to say them all. Someone out there wants more than anything to shoulder your burden for you. With all the people on earth, there are thousands who alone would make life worth living to know them; and odds are you're one of them to somebody.