Tom: Downfall of a Functioning Alcoholic (Part 4 of 4)
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- Опубліковано 5 жов 2024
- The final chapter in Tom's life of addiction. Hear how he has turned his life around through full recovery. You can take control and free yourself from addiction!
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More power to you Tom, I watched all 4 of your videos. I am on my way to recovery as we speak and thanks for helping others by sharing.
I watched all 4 videos too. I love a success story/ happy ending, as much as this is one. Best wishes for your happiness, Tom!
My Dad, both grandfathers, several aunts, uncles and cousins were all alcoholics. I can appreciate the pain and uncertainty from the loved ones perspective. My Dad did quit drinking when he became a grandpa. By the grace of GOD! None of his grandchildren knew him as an alcoholic. He turned into a totally different man! Reliable, dependable and a dedicated family man. I am so proud of him! He's been dead now for 13 years and I miss him everyday.
This is 15 years old. I’d love to hear an update from Tom. How about 5/5? Thank you, Tom.
Agreed.
Passed from heart failure and cirrhosis complications in April 2020.
@@dd52161 where did you get this info from ?
@@dd52161 how do you know ? do you have any documents about this ?
AA saved my life 37 years ago. If I could go to the bar six nights a week there was no excuse to miss meetings.
Very interesting to me.
And inspiring.
I'm only just accepting that I have a problem.
I'm sick of feeling sick.
I hope I make it...
Switch to drinking Nattys only. Seriously try it!
Pikeman50 lol....I hear you man.
How are you doing with this, Sean?
Sean, how are you doing???
Hope you're ok Sean
i am 52 and two weeks sober. my son moved back home to help me with recovery after leaving for a year because my problem. he has not uttered a word about the past. he said he is here for our families future. he makes me take my valium (small script) and anabuse every day. i feel hopefull for the first time in a long time and physically feel better each day that passes. it is refreshing to hear a story like yours and not some bullshit coming from some 23 year old whiner that is freaking out because they drink 4 goddamn beers a day...omg! know what i am saying? anyhow, your story hit me. balling my eyes out. wish you lived closer. i could use feeding off your AMAZING resolve. may god bless you and keep you strong. guys like you are heroes to me. thanks again pal. tommy l.
How's it going man?
@@evernight. I also want to know.
10 years, 20 years, 30 years....a meeting every day if you want it is NOT a bad thing. Everyone recovers and survives in their own way. My hats off to you sir and may you continue with your success :)
To be free of the self loathing,remorse and guilt is worth the effort..accepting your past behaviour is difficult when sober....but to be free is a gift.
God bless and well wishes to all in this journey
Thanks for sharing your experience, inspirational words. I'm 20 years sober this year 2023. Staying healthy and as consciously in "the now/moment" as I possibly can. I've come to realize, no other time really matters.
This is extremely hard to watch as I’m the spouse of a alcoholic. My wife of 20 years has gotten so bad she has left the marital home to go live somewhere with another addict. I just can’t go on any further waiting for her to get sober. I have to move on and live my life. You’re right the only ones that suffer are the family and loved ones when they die. PLEASE get help and seek counseling for your addictions.
I am so proud of you Tom. My ex died of alcoholism … he lost everything, from me, our kids, his job, his younger (than me) wife…pretty much everything.
I'm not an alcoholic but found your tapes really really inspirational and made me realise that I'm very lucky just to have the problems that I have,compared to you my life is as smooth as silk. Good luck to you Tom, and anyone who is reading this after watching him.
Jeff Taylor your life is as 'smooth as silk' careful, life can change.....
It’s not an easy road. That’s the reason for the high failure rate. Sober since 2016. Cain’t stand the smell of alcohol now. Beginners, don’t ever give up!
I stopped drinking after 15 years hard alcoholic in 2015 - when I was 43. I wouldn't be alive today if I didn't agree to go into the 28 day rehab. I relapsed in 2018 but after 3 months of on again/off again, i decided I'd simply been eroding all the gains I'd made in sobriety. I've been totally abstinent ever since. Not even during covid, nuthin' doing. I see myself like a person who is allergic to seafood or peanut butter - except for me, it's alcohol. I just *cannot do that* - it's like Yul Brynner in that smoking PSA. When he was dying. Just don't smoke. So powerful.
I sleep better and it's nice to know I can trust myself - I am not tempted even around people who drink, get drunk, I can smell the alcohol, that is not a problem. I'd worried a lot it would be hard. Once you are committed to sobriety, it's like that "when two minds are in sync" idea. It's been pretty easy. I don't think twice about it. Glad I went thru what I went thru - I don't judge people.
When you are sober, you are *free* - I can drive *whenever I want or might need to for say picking up a family member or a friend. I don't have to think twice. 0% risk.
I would honestly recommend that addiction treatment to strive for abstinence and to be in total/successful complete recovery is the best. Please, get help if you need it. Safe injection sites are NOT the answer. I used to smoke cigars casually. No more. I breathe so much better when I sleep and I have good stamina for bicycling and the elliptical.
As you get older, you realize - you don't really need any of these *vices* - I was drinking because I'm Asperger's - I was drinking to relax/self-medicate my over anxious nerual repeated firing. You CAN do it. People DO quit smoking. DO quit drugs and stay off forever after. You CAN do it. It may not feel easy at the start. You get used to it - you embrace the advantage of sobriety - and you don't look back. You've got your full, whole life back again.
Im at 9mths and you are so right, its hard. I dont go to meetings etc, Ive been able to do it with just my wife and friends so I too am blessed. I do find some days hard but the next day is probably better and in general the trend is better. Every day without booze is a good day now I can see how it affected me and how useless it really was. All the best Sir, you do what you have to do.
Wise words from a man who has been there. Stay strong mate
i had my last drink in 1982 and stopped going to AA after 12 years. Rollercoaster. And as well as messing things up at various stages, I am married with stepdaughters and stepgrandchildren who all absolutely love me. Something that probably took me the best part of 20 years to begin to believe, such is my own cynicism. There is no problem or difficulty that alcohol coudn't make worse.
why did you stop going ?
@@BRIANDER100 As I stayed sober over months and maybe a couple of years the consistant example of sober people in AA changed my mindset to one that believed it was quite reasonable and possible to live a life without alcohol. Unthinkable previously.
Alcoholics sometimes share common features, but are not all the same. Many nowadays have deep emotional issues or perhaps even personality disorders. So many need help not only to stop drinking, but with themselves after they have stopped drinking. AA's program falsely conflates and claims that staying sober is dependant on finding some form of higher power - this is false. Secondly, the program which is based on religious morality, is the way alcoholics 'must' live. This is both false and limiting.
AA's program was skillfully and deceitfully written by someone of fervent evangelical influence and it is deliberately written not only to get people sober, but to beleive that they are done for if they do not depend on God. This is false.
I left when I was 12 years sober because I did not want to drink, but because I was ashamed at how I was failing in the real world despite being sober. I knew there was something wrong with my thinking, but was not willing to gaslight myself into believing something I thought was false. If you are going to ask what happened next - well I went into the wilderness a bit. Still a comparatively young man I was a bit of a villain for some years until I met my wife and decided she deserved better. Self-acceptance, mindfulness, meditation, particularly zen-like, CBT REBT, journaling andparticularly self-acceptance which leads to other-acceptance have all played a part in mitigating my very unhelpful mindset.
Good on you Tom. I'm coming up on 14 1/2 years myself and love it. And the program too. It's definitely the easier, softer way.
Thank you for your story. Humble, honest, concise. Especially the line: the only failure in recovery is to never try again.
10 years of abstinence and he's STILL hitting a meeting every single day? it's people like this who scared me away from AA so i went from a 20 year obsession with alcohol, that led to a fifth of vodka a day, quit on my own, the cravings went away and i haven't had a drink for 6 years. i love being abstinent, i feel like a normal person who just doesn't drink and i'm free to live my life like everyone else and don't label myself or feel shamed into 'needing' AA. i chase down a healthy lifestyle, better myself in various ways and am totally over booze. btw, i was a SEVERE addict and couldn't live without it. quit, get healthy, label yourself as an ex drinker and become empowered!
+Liam Curtin Good for you man..
+Liam Curtin
That works great for you, but let's do some math here. There is one person who is Liam Curtin. There are about 7 billion people who are not. They don't think, act, or function like you. A man might quit heroin and never look back, but quitting cigarettes leaves him a nervous wreck. Another might never touch either of those, but has literal physical fits if he doesn't get online for a certain amount of time each day.
For most people, the mentality of quitting something, hopping out of bed each morning and going "I'm a champion!" is a fairy tale, and will set them up for failure.
I am glad that it worked for you though.
+Jerkwad152 Unfortunalty I've turned into a full on alcoholic. I drink a litre of vodka a day and sometimes more. I don't have any issues with family but do have issues with steady work. I don't drink during the day but as soon as I'm home..bang. I smoked for a couple of years and you're right didn't give it a second thought to quit. But vodka is a different story...I have just started to get the shakes in the morning so I now know it's got me...
bicanoo_magic wow i hope you stopped
I agree this is the kind of person who kept me away from AA whenever I tried repeatedly to connect because I was shamed to do so, but i couldn't because I want to go to work and have a regular schedule. People kept telling me ways to get on assistance and shamed me for missing a meeting because I took a chance to work. Much better surrounding my sober self with a normal life - paying my own rent/mortgage, friends who work, being with my family, getting up every day to go to work. It doesn't help to keep trying to connect where you don't fit. Find what inspires and motivates you, regardless of what is popular.
out of all the crap ive watched and filtered through tonight from youtube influencers.... this is the one that hit the nail on the head. This bloke, this story, this video. I know its been a long time since this was made but I have great respect and appreciation for this video. Thank you from Australia!
I so dearly wish my brother would hear your story. But ... he doesn't have a problem. Bless and God keep you safe Tom. Thank you. ox
bless you. it's hard.
Congratulations on working hard to save your life. I like that you’re able to tell people that sobriety doesn’t mean the end of life’s challenges.
Fellow alcoholic here and sober. Thank you for sharing Tom
Thank you Tom for your story and your life. I’m 8 months sober. I want to continue on being that way.
Good man Tom. I'm very proud of you and hope you're keeping well to this day. God bless you.
Tom: Your story certainly will inspire those that are struggling and I commend you for being brave enough to accept what alcohol has done to your life but more importantly YOUR decision to finally seek help and support to beat ( well let's say overcome) this terrible disease. Keep going Tom and thanks for sharing your heartwrenching story to the world . Cheers from Nanaimo, BC Canada
I'm struggling, this I helping, I'm going to my first AA meeting tomorrow
Amazing man. Can we get an update as to how he's doing now? I have 58 days sober & a sick liver, but I'm glad to be alive...
How are you today ? Xx
Inspiring. I struggle now. I can only pray. Oh dear. I'm not going imto my life history. It's down to me now.
He wasn't saying anything new. Just how hard it is. Not an amazing man at all.
@@madjackmacmad809Pint?
Tom if you read this I hope you're doing well mate and thank you for sharing. I'm about your age and just turned two years sober thanks to my Higher Power and AA. Things do indeed get better with the compulsion to drink removed from me from day one in my case. However my recovery must be the first priority in my life without which I woudn't have one and for that I am humbly grateful. Good luck to all of us and may God's grace protect you who read this, with yours.
Great story, thanks. Re some of the comments below; for me, AA was essential in gaining and maintaining sobriety. Just "deciding to not drink" flat out doesn't work for most. By the time you reach AA you have tried the "will power" method many times and discovered it doesn't work. The key part of AA for me is open communication with others with the same problems, which leads to a better understanding of your own problems.
That's great, Tom
Gives me hope. I am five days sober at midnight tonight.
I got through the puking and shakes, so, I am always looking for knowledge and having open ear!
Stay tough, brother!
What an amazing story, Tom. Thank you so much for sharing what you have been through. It is very inspiring and I will keep you in my prayers that you stay strong and continue to remain sober. May God bless you
Thankyou tom i have been sober over four years and listening to yourself has helped me today.
Great video series you put together Tom. Could relate to a lot of your story. Just came upon 8 years sobriety this past May 2014, but still like to keep "in check" by watching videos such as yours to keep things real, as complacency is the first step towards relapse.
Thanks again for the video.
Amazing how humbling sobriety is.
I'm an alcoholic and want to change so bad, but its so hard. Great piece in your troubles and tributes
+Wilson Cochrane
I found that admitting I had a problem was the very important first step. That was 15 sober years ago. Reach out for some help.
Wilson - Have you heard about The Sinclair Method and Naltrexone, especially when drinking. No "higher being" needed, just mindfulness, dedication and perseverance.
being sober dont make life easy it just gives u the ability to deal with life
Congratulations for One Day at at Time...I'm proud of you!!!
Tom Im 26 years old and on the same path you are right now out of college. I fear I will follow in your footsteps... bit I fear LESS hearing it from you. You have affected me in my life and I will be mindful of your life full account because my family both sides are full of Achys. Your words and physical emotions tell me so much.... and your so far beyond my years but I can respect that and appreciate every word you point out.
I had just quit drinking for 1 month- 5th of 100proof vodka a night... and recently after a drs. appointment went back with 151 drinks... i have a check up on the 18th and Im going to tell my DR. I need to see a specialist. I do not want to deal with AA. Id rather one on one... BUT your video has already adulterated my mind. I appreciate your story and your current sobriety- My father quit for 33 years and I don't know what he has done to keep it going -I think bad eating////...which is another story... but to his - his- own. Thank you so much. I appreciate this.
You are definitely not a failure.Brutally honest and inspiring man.Wow,well done.
Tom everyone who saw this is behind you thanks for doing the video helps me to understand where my wife is right now. She can only help herself as you have. I wish you a long and sober life with joy and happiness.
Tom - great story and I hope you're still alive and sober. I'm 30 years this year and it's been tough, but a great ride. I'm so extremely lucky and blessed. I drank for 20+ years
Good story. We always hear ourselves in each story--the dishonesty, the suffering we cause, the way we blame everything but alcohol, and so forth.
I drank about the same time, over 30 years. I have been sober over 9 1/2 yrs now. I haven't been to a meeting for some time, but I know I will soon. AA absolutely gave me the plan for living sober; the group gave me the connection with others that I had lost; and my "Higher Power" fills the hole that alcohol used to contaminate.
Over a year for me. Thanks Tom you certainly helped me today.
God bless Tom. I also know how hard it is.....I still drink every day.
I don't miss drink. I've enjoyed finding myself again at 46 years old. I landed myself in hospital and I haven't looked back since. We have a great little family and I devote the rest of my life to them.
Great job, Tom. Very inspiring.
Your honesty is inspirational Tom. Keep fighting the good fight
Thank you for making these four videos. They help. My youngest brother was never able to beat it and died homeless behind a bush in city park.. It is difficult for the people who have to keep living.
wow !!!! that was honest !!!!!! most people shy away from telling the truth !!! i am having issues now !!! am watching for support stories like this. thankyou !!!!!!
I have had problems with alcohol going down that road , your vids remind me of what could be. Many thanks for your courage and God bless.
Thank you, Tom, for your honesty. Your story is truly moving.
You can do it tom. You my man are a great guy thank you.
You don't even know they guy Ben. This is not inspiration - just statements.
He said it so well! Just cuz you get sober dosent mean you're gonna stay sober. I've had a very difficult recovery. Im so glad I'm not alone. I thought I was the only person who feels disappointed now that they're straight..
One thing which isn't often talked about is Why people drink in excess and become alcoholics. In college it is almost always due to being young, wanting to party, fit in. Later in life if you're still hitting the bottle hard it could be because you simply like the feeling, but it also may be a mental health issue such as depression, anxiety, etc which may need to be treated by therapy and a psychiatrist. Point t is....if you truly have depression (for example) and were masking it with alcohol before and now you're sober. It is going to hit you like a ton a bricks and will not get better on its own without some type of medical intervention and plan for moving forward.
You remind me of my ex partner. He is still in the depths of alcoholism though, i had to leave because of his behaviour even though i loved him dearly. I wish you all the best of luck with your life and you really are an inspiration. x
Thank you Tom. I'm just over a year sober thanks to aa and ca. The 12 steps have changed my life, but it's all too easy to forget the horror of it all. You're an inspiration.
how are you now ?
Thank you Tom. I plan to use this video in a training this coming week.
Thank You, Tom. You are a good man.
Great honesty.. I listened to all 4 and it reminded me of my dad, and myself. My dad died aged 57 of a heart attack and emphaceama 3 years ago. I was devastated! He drank pretty much all his life, only beer though..but plenty of it.
In my mid-late 20s I drank heavy with my then wife.. It was ruining our marriage, so one day I decided, that's it, no more! And I stopped. My wife did not. So we separated..but for other reasons too...
Keep going Tom, you'll be amazed who's listening and who you helped.
Wayne UK
Wayne - Have you heard about The Sinclair Method and Naltrexone, especially when drinking. No "higher being" needed, just mindfulness, dedication and perseverance.
God bless, Tom! Your words were honest and humble. I wish you another day of sobriety and every day more after that.
thanks so much for sharing. you just hit the nail right on the head. i struggle and have the same life as you had, im trying my best now to change it around, and your story really helped, thanks tom
Russell - Have you heard about The Sinclair Method and Naltrexone, especially when drinking. No "higher being" needed, just mindfulness, dedication and perseverance. :-)}
I like Tom, a good guy. I'm glad he's gotten through those bad times.
My tears of joy are with you. Your words are very moving.
25 and 3 days sober. It took me a long time to accept I had a problem but now I'm ready to change. Thank you
OneEyedShiper How's it going?
how are you now ?
This channel hasn’t posted in a long time. It would be interesting to see how some of the people are doing now.
God bless you brother...
I am a recovering crack addict. The best thing that ever happened to me was getting caught in a lie with my beloved father. A major lie. That was my rock-bottom. I relocated and moved back into my parent's home at age 45 and quit cold turkey. I am a lucky man to be called out by my folks and given the place to recover. Blessed. My love to all addicts and addicts in remission. Stay strong.
I am beyond blessed to be able to relate to this man. 1-2-12.
Thank you brother, helped me today to hear this
That was very good and It was very helpful! It seems to help to know that there are people like Tom that goes through hard times, and finally comes to a point to admit it.
Thanks for sharing, Tom.
I'm glad I watched these videos, because I own my business and will never drink on the job, but it could turn to that later. I'm glad for the videos
I keep failing.. I am constantly in trouble with the law.. and I’ve destroyed my whole life around me… and it’s my addiction to alcohol that has done it.. and I can’t escape it
You are an inspiration to many. I wish a friend of mine had that in him. He lost his family, house and then his job and then drank himself to death. I came here to try to understand why. I have a lot of unanswered questions. My heart is broken for his kids.
I went to one AA meeting and it was one of the most depressing hours of my life. I needed a drink before I went in and I really needed one when I came out.
Mark S lol same, I went to one meeting and have never stopped since.....
Very honest and humbling and all true myself being similar road but still finding hard to forgive myself for my past God bless you
Tom well done to you
You are inspiration
And thank you so much for sharing your story
Yes it certainly will help other people
May God protect you always
Tom is a very serious guy who is working his program correctly!!
I am an alcoholic. I started when I was 16, mostly pot at first. Then came the beer! beerbeerbeerBEER! I got married, had kids, worked hard, bought houses, paid my bills, raised my family, and drank beers. I know that in that list beers came last, but the invisible fact is that Beer is the first thing that is important to me. I like yourself have quit several times. for a year once, 6 months another time, 90 days, 2 weeks I know i can quit, but I cant seem to love a life without drinking. I spend all sunday watching football games by myself drinking beers i hate how i can waste entire days drinking. i have set another goal to stop drinking after the superbowl. we'll see how it goes this time. I am starting to understand that i have to keep trying. you talked about this here and i am grateful to hear it. I dont know how much of the rest of my life i will spend drinking but i do know that i will never stop hoping for the day when i dont drink anymore. one day at a time at first, and hopefully i can hit 5 years at some point.
Have you heard about The Sinclair Method and Naltrexone, especially when drinking. No "higher being" needed, just mindfulness, dedication and perseverance. :-)}
That was so awesome! Massive amounts of respect!
God bless this man he's given me the strength to get through today
Thank you for sharing yourself and your trials and tribulations.. You are an inspiration. God bless you
A riveting four part interview. Well done👌
I saw alcohol destroy two close friends of mine. One drank himself death and the other committed suicide. I myself was a binge drinker and social drinker for many years. About 8 or 9 years ago I was drinking a beer with a friend while I had a powerful thought to quit drinking. I can't remember if I finished that beer or not, but I never drank again. I've only been to AA a few times. I'm not trying to brag, but I found quitting easier than I thought it would be. I think I caught it in time. I consider myself to be a non-drinker as opposed to a recovering alcoholic. Sometimes I have a dream that I'm drinking. Its dreams like this that remind me not to have that first drink. Once in a while I will listen to a story like this one. I feel convinced that alcohol is the worst drug on the planet. Life is so much better without alcohol.
Sounds to me like you weren't really doing it properly
thx this may just have saved my life....i want to get excited about not drinking instead of the fear i usually feel...
Andy - Have you heard about The Sinclair Method and Naltrexone, especially when drinking. No "higher being" needed, just mindfulness, dedication and perseverance.
Very moving share
Thank you
onwards and upwards my friend. Monday June 2016. I start my detox. listening to you. thank you. I hope your good and cracking on with life.. all good my friend
how are you now ?
Great testimonial, a very inspiring story that lets everyone know that even in the worst of scenarios there is hope for living sober (and happy).
Thank you for your honesty
Listening to stories like this is so heartbreaking knowing there are plant medicines like ayahuasca, ibogaine, psilocybin out there that resolve these issues so beautifully yet they are illegal in the United States and it is criminal. People are suffering horrendous torture and dying so alcohol and pharmaceutical companies can make billions.
hi tom ,thanx for ur vids ,iv struggled with alcohol over the yrs ,lost a misses over it and lost friends ,an im tryin to stay sobar ,an tryin to take each day one at a time ,its a challenge il say that ,ur vids encourage me thanx man.
Mark - Have you heard about The Sinclair Method and Naltrexone, especially when drinking. No "higher being" needed, just mindfulness, dedication and perseverance. :-)}
how are you now ?
I have 35 years life is Good. I'm 77 now and smoking turned on me - now I have5 1/2 months without a cig.
This guy is a hero in my eyes.
That was wonderful and very inspiring. A lovely man. Very, very well done. Never give in. x
Well Tom I appreciate your honesty. I have some drinking issues I’m working on. Your 4 videos helped me realize I can quit. Thanks
Joe - Have you heard about The Sinclair Method and Naltrexone, especially when drinking. No "higher being" needed, just mindfulness, dedication and perseverance. :-)}
how are you now ?
You are gifted. Your message is clear and heartfelt. Thanks.
Good job Tom.... I have been battling this "booze" thing on and off now for many, many years!!! I have good periods of sobriety (6 yrs once) and have stopped drinking the "hard booze" (Vodka) like I used to do very regularly (3/4 qts a week + beer) - because my body can't take it anymore!!! I have also had my problems with the law and several auto accidents - but I always luckily managed to avoid a DUI - because I used to drink-at-home!!!
I have read the *Big Book* several times (original version) and I never got as bad with my drinking as Dr. Bob or Bill Wilson!!! But, John Barleycorn (alcohol) has given me a lot-of-grief over the yrs and I have resented having this unfortunate *disease* for many years as well!! I still have wine now and then, but I am trying to "taper" that off as well!!!
Having an "addictive personality" is definitely NOT an easy road to travel - but I am surviving!!!
Some people are lucky Bruce. Stay at home.
how are you now ?
Thank You Tom! Wish you all the Best in Your Recovery!
Thank you Tom for your honesty. A bit off topic but I watched a Yt video the other day called something like 'Why Putin doesn't touch alcohol.' A real eye opener. It gave me yet another perspective on the social ill that is alcoholism. Please check it out (anyone). All the best.